For context, 5 years ago, my (30F) fiancé Frank (29M) bought his family home along with his mother, Sharon (50sF) and sister Millie (29F). Her husband, Glenn (early 60sM, Frank and Millie’s step-dad) apparently had a ‘bad credit score’ so couldn't be involved, and Frank was told at the time that by putting him on the mortgage he would build up good credit and he would be given his 1/3 share when he needed to buy a house in the future.

Skip to 1 month ago, and after house hunting, we found our perfect family home within our budget. Frank called Sharon, Millie, and Frank to share the good news and ask for a way to get his share out and name off the mortgage. On hearing that Frank wanted to take out his share of the money on the phone, Millie immediately began berating Frank, calling him selfish, “not thinking of her future”, and greedy for wanting his share of the house. Sharon and Glenn backed up Millie saying that since all 3 needed to agree to any legal changes then the issue was settled, and Frank would have to accept he’d get nothing. Frank was confused, and the excuses kept coming - Sharon was too close to retirement to pay out Frank (not true, she had another 10 years), Glenn has a share so it’s ¼ not a 1/3 (again not true and confirmed by a solicitor - Glenn was never on the mortgage), it would be unfair to tie Millie to the house with a re-mortgage (but it is fair to screw your son out of £55,000?).

Frank was so quiet by the end of the call that he had to hang up before he started crying. I was livid. Frank had been paying his share of the mortgage no issue over 5 years –including the year he was living with me rent-free. Later, they agreed to take Frank’s name off the mortgage with a final offer of £20,000 - Sharon said that he “could have the rest when I die”. Frank took the offer to keep the peace, but they’ve continued to shame Frank saying that he needs to work on rebuilding Millie’s trust as his actions ‘hurt Millie’ and when I responded to a request Sharon made politely but not friendly (think workplace email rather than family chat) Sharon asked Frank if I “was being funny with her” and if so, why. The absolute audacity of this woman to think I'd be friendly with her after she belittled and shamed my future husband!

This was the last straw. After seeing my in-laws bully my fiancé, I decided to go low-contact with them until our wedding. I have told Frank that, unless Sharon, Millie, and Glenn, apologise to him and acknowledge they were wrong for how they handled the situation (they’re convinced they owe my fiancé nothing and that he’s in the wrong for asking for his share), then I don’t want to visit them for Christmas. I’ve told him I’m happy to drop him off and pick him up from theirs, but my fiancé says that I’m the asshole for not letting this go and for potentially make things awkward for him and his family over Christmas.

So... AITA?

I (F30) suffered a great loss 2 and a half years ago when my father suddenly passed away from a heart attack. He was only 51 years old and we were so close that it caused me to fall into a deep depression that I’m honestly still navigating my way out of.

Around this time, I had been fairly active in a relatively large friend group of around 11 or 12 people. We had initially become friends through a love of a shared interest and were pretty much staples in each other’s lives for a period of around 3 years or so prior to this. I wasn’t close with every person in our group, as some were partners or were mutual friends of others in the friend group, but I feel like I knew everyone fairly well.

After my Father died, I really began to see however, that some of these people really hadn’t been my friends at all. None of the friend group came to his funeral after I had said I would appreciate the support on that day, nobody came to visit me at my home whilst I was still grieving and one of the only messages I received was to ask if I was still willing to drive a few of my friends to a concert I had planned on going to before my father passed away - of course I decided against this.

It was over a matter of weeks and months I began to feel slightly resentful over the lack of support and voiced my hurt in our group chat. It was at this time I began receiving rants from my so called friends telling me that if I want to treat them like therapists then I needed to start paying them and that constantly talking about my dead father was causing anxiety to those who hadn’t yet lost a parent, and causing unnecessary bad vibes to the entire dynamic of the group.

I also found out that there was an entirely separate group chat made were members of my friend group were making fun of the way I had cried when I received the news of my father’s death and making jokes about how if I lost both my father and step father before the age of thirty, then maybe I’m the problem.

After learning this, I made one last post to the group chat about how I didn’t wish to associate with them anymore before blocking them all entirely from social media. But recently I’ve been getting text messages from several of these people telling me that they miss me, and trying to explain that while they were complacent at the time, they weren’t the instigators and had since distanced themselves from the more toxic members of that group.

Despite this, I explained I wasn’t interested in reconnecting and that I don’t need them in my life after all this time. They were hurt but accepted it, though I have had some people in my life suggest that maybe letting bygones be bygones is a good thing and that maybe allowing them a second chance would be healthy for everyone.

I’m not so sure. AITA?

Me (24M) and my father haven't had any relationship since he left home when I was 11. I learnt to live without him, however, a few months ago I started to miss him, and after thinking about it for days, I called him. We decided to meet. It went great and since then we are seeing each other often. I went to his house and met his gf. I love her, she is a very sweet woman. She heard my worries and supported me. I am diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and somehow she made me feel comfortable enough to open up.

I need to put you in context: I don't have a good relationship with my mom, she doesn't work and I am the one paying bills. My financial situation is bad, but I managed to save up for a trip this December. My gf lives far away and we can only see each other twice a year. I planned many months ago to go visit her this December. The flight and hoteal are already paid for ($302). I explained it to my father and his gf, telling them how excited I was.

Now this is what happened. I have had my cat for 16 years. I love her, I was 8 when we found her in the street. Last Sunday she looked bad. She didn't walk well, kept falling. My father came with me to the vet. They said my cat had some neurological problem and they need to do some tests to find out what exactly it is... which cost AT LEAST $540 (it will keep going up). I can't pay it because I don't have any help at home. My mother isn't willing to pay anything because she doesn't care. She has even stolen money from me to smoke. I told my father I'd see what I can do. Everything seemed fine, till he texted me at night that I had my priorities wrong, he found it offensive I was going to pay for a trip to visit my gf, but not the vet. I explained him the trip is already paid, and even with that extra money, I wouldn't have enough. Don't get me wrong though, I'm going to do something about it, working overtime or pay in installments. I felt hurt with his comment because he knows how excited I am and he talked about it in a very cold way. I said I was hurt. He was talking badly about something that is important to me. I just want to spend time with the person I love the most. But I felt like a selfish person for paying for a flight. The argument got worse. I told him "I don't know what you had in mind when you said that. It's the only treat I've given myself after working for months without stopping a single day because I don't have vacations. I'm angry and hurt by your words". He answered I was being disrespectful and he wouldn't allow me to speak to him that way. We kept arguing for days and I told him that I was thinking about cutting off contact permanently, and he said that was blackmail.

This happened few hours ago. I feel like I've ruined everything. I was happy spending time with him. It truly saddens me to think we won't talk more. I didn't really want to cut off contact, but I thought it would be the best way to protect myself because the situation was hurting me... But I don't know.

Throwaway account.

I (35M) have 2 kids (9M,6M). Context: I just started a new remote job so my medical benefits haven't kicked in yet. My partner has a job that requires them to travel and are currently away.

For the past 2 weeks the three of us have been dealing with a cold/flu bug. Its wasn't serious enough outside of taking your standard otc remedies and continue going to school/work.

Today, the day before Halloween, the kids got a bit worse and wanted to stay home from school. I also felt worse so I made the necessary arrangements (contacting my job/school etc). Kids are in bed watching TV and we'll be doing soup and medicine for our diet today.

Now my oldest has a fair amount of common sense so I did warn him that if they still feel sick enough to miss school tomorrow as well as today, then they can't go trick or treating. He understands this.

I gave my in-laws the heads up about the potential cancelation as they planned to join in our trick or treating tomorrow. They think I'm ruining the holiday for the kids. My partner, while agreeing with me, wants me to bend to their will because they don't want us to deal with the drama afterwards ie "you'll never hear the end of it".

While I get the point, I wasn't going to be completely heartless on the subject. I was going to make some Halloween themed snacks and do some kid friendly Halloween movies and allow them to wear their costumes all day tomorrow (just in bed) and buy them some discounted candy after Halloween to make up for the trick or treating loot they'll miss out on. But I also stand firm on the principle. If my kids aren't well enough to attend school, they they aren't well enough to socialize in this kind of activity.

So, WIBTA?

Recently I have gone through a huge change, not only mentally but also emotionally. I became more reserved and quiet. The type of person who doesn’t want to stand out much. I used to be quite energetic and attention driven person, but now I have changed.

Beginning of this school year I already felt uuhm… what you call it, uncomfortable around my friends. They judged me a lot, not like on this subreddit judging but straight up interrogations. All for a discord profile picture I had changed to a more lewd one. I felt unsafe and didn’t want to be rude, so after some weeks I finally decided to go leave the group silently. Of course my friends started to gossip and backbite me, especially one friend who gossiped about me. Someone made me aware of this and I immediately cut off my friendship with. him.

Then last week I silently sat on a table and opened my laptop, to what I would expect peace and quiet workplace for me to do assignments and other hobbies that interested me. One of the friends from the group that came to me, touched me, even though I didn’t speak to him for about 2 weeks. He definitely came with the intention to help me. Luckily there was a teacher nearby, she saw my friends bothering me and then looked directly into my eyes and said: ‘Are those boys bothering you?’ To what I then said was ‘Yes’ and I immediately nodded.

Luckily after that they ended our relationships officially through text.

Am I the asshole or not?

I (27F) got into a serious relationship with my BF (30M) about 3mths ago. I had a best-friend (29M) (Sam) - he and I hung out almost every weekend (at most we met 3x a week). We are also part of a friend group. Sam is gay - he is only into men and I am female. 

Since entering the relationship with BF, I spend most free-times and weekends with my BF.  I introduced BF to Sam (and the friend group) and in total they met about 3-4 times. The interactions they had were minimal as it was all in group settings. The interactions were good and BF got along with my friends.

After they “met”, Sam began telling me and everyone about how he doesn’t like BF, and that he didn’t approve of the relationship. He sent essay-length messages with reasons as to why BF was not suitable for me. I never raised any concerns to warrant these reasons, so I don’t know where Sam got them from. 

As time went on, Sam kept making more passive aggressive and snarky comments about BF and my relationship. One time, Sam got very annoyed when he found out I was hanging out with my BF two-nights in a row. A friend told me that Sam was messaging her that he didn’t like BF and made some insulting comments  about me. Other friends also came forward to tell me that Sam was negatively gossiping about me/BF.

One day,  I messaged the group chat to make plans for a group dinner. Sam asked “Is BF joining?” I responded with “yes - are you going to ask this every time?” to which he responded “I will not be joining if he comes. And yes I’ll ask everytime, because I don’t like him.”

At this point I had enough and got very upset at his constant disrespect to me in public (group chat) and we ended up having a big argument over private DM, and I basically said to Sam:

1. BF is going to remain in my life, so he will join me to a lot of group plans. Sam did not have to like him but I would no longer tolerate any rude and disrespectful comments made to me or BF. 
2. Sam needs to stop being disrespectful to me and BF by actively excluding him.   

Sam basically said back to me:

1. I was being disrespectful to him for bringing BF into my life(??) and bringing him to plans without asking him whether it was ok first. 
2. He only wants to hang out with me or friends in our group and does not want ‘outsiders’ to join. 

I called bullshit on his last point - our friend group had grown as a result of meeting new people and Sam had no issue with another friend’s partner joining in on group plans. 

I asked Sam why he hates BF so much, and he says he just doesn’t like him for me and that we seem too different for each other.

Everyone else in the friend group has remained neutral and have made no comments. Everyone (except Sam) likes BF and we have hung out in a group a few times.

After a week of no-contact since the fight, Sam blocked me on social media, and removed himself from group chats (he probably made a separate group chats excluding me). 

So AITA for bringing my BF with me to group plans?

Family member sent me a video of his bully dog getting trained to attack an intruder. Basically the trainer coming at it on a leash with a pillow and the dog going crazy aggressive and eventually grabbing the pillow. I responded that that dog isn’t coming to my house to be around my 3.5/1.5 yr old children. They got all defensive and said it’s safe because he’s never attacked and I said I’m not taking a single chance and risking it. In the past it’s been at my house and sometimes on a leash but I ensure it’s not around my kids and now I don’t want it there at all- I don’t want to take even the slightest risk. Are these training tactics unsafe?!? AITA?!

Everything it’s been going perfect (2years and going) we have a great sense of humor that matches and we talked about everything as soon as we can specifically after an argument. He is very old school tho that’s the best way I could describe it. I on the other hand are almost always open minded but since I come from a broken family my wants in life are more to have kids and a happy family with a husband that I love. Last night we started taking about buying and house and made an agreement about what would happen if we both decide to break up and what would happen with everything we have accomplished ( it was my idea). In the end he asked me to hold his hands and he told that when he was in the military he made a lot of stupid decisions ( we were both in the military) so when he told me that the first thing that came to my mind was more about all the time you party and everything but no he ended up telling me how he was in a very rough situation and as a 18 yr old back then he would listen to advice from the wrong people, at this point one of his sergeant and the main one told him to get a women and get marry and get out of all the issues he got into. So he did and a couple months later that relationship did no work so the sergeant told him to divorce her. At this point of the story I was already mad and my idea of this relationship was crumbling down and then he told me about the second one. He told me he was super depressed and he missed his family and the military was not helping whatsoever so now he asked his Sargent how to do a hardship ( move stations or to get out) and he said to get marry again with someone in a state close to his family and then get divorce at this point he was 19 years old and by 20 he’s been divorced not once but twice and I only found out about this 2 years later. I really do not know what to think, I’ve been completely open about all my past relationships and almost told him about all my cons before we even started dating and now the reason why he’s telling me all this is because we want to buy a house together and get engaged soon? Like he would’ve told me if that wasn’t happening? We do live together now so ever since this happened last night he’s been following me around the whole house. I have no one to talk about this because I don’t want to change my parent’s perspective on him if I do choose to continue with this relationship ( they love him). So yeah I’m so confused and I love him it’s just so many mix feelings now.

I (23F) am the breadwinner of the family. My culture expects us to care and provide for our parents as soon as we're able, and we're not really encouraged to move out--especially an only child. When I got a job, my parents started to ask me to chip in, and then little by little, I got to the point where I'm paying for everything. My mom doesn't have a job, and my dad earns extremely little. I want to complain and say no, but I feel bad given their age (54). I want to give them a good life, but it's jeopardizing not only future, but my current life experience--each pay check literally gets spent, leaving me with nothing. I'm honestly so tired of supporting them, feeling like I work and work and not get to enjoy any of the results.

My family has a rocky background. My dad never wants to give my mom money, because aside from making little money, he has trust issues because my mom's not the best at handling anything really. Now, my mom feels like it's my dad's obligation to give her extra cash, and she wants to have money for herself. Like I said, I already pay for everything, leaving me with nothing and debt, and my mom wants me to give her extra cash monthly--because apparently, it's SO hard not having any even though all her needs and wants are met.

I want to move out. And I don't want to tell them. I just want to live for me. I want to be a normal child and not be burdened by responsibilities that shouldn't have been mine in the first place. I want to receive a pay check and not already expect that I won't be using any of it for me. But I feel guilty. My parents aren't bad parents. They love me both so much, and I know moving out would not only break their hearts, but also possibly their relationship (that I think only exists to now because of me, and the fact that my mom has no one else to turn to and no job to support her). I just don't know what to do. Would I be in the wrong if I move out without telling them, and basically cutting them off, given that they rely on me?

So my partner and I were planning a trip together. We have a cottage in another city that we were closing up for winter, and then decided from there we would go for another few days to somewhere new to enjoy that city. For weeks I repeatedly sent recommendations, hotels, air bnb listings and got no input other than “that looks ok”. So I did all the planning. Booked and paid for our flights. He did end up booking (and paying for) a rental car because his status got us upgrades. But when it came to hotel, I said I would book us a hotel with my points and we could basically stay for free (other than onsite parking). I booked a place, and it was all set. 5 days before we left he decided he did not like the itinerary and hotel and said he wanted a change up. Because it was last minute and the weekend before Halloween, the hotels were now very expensive, so I told him I didn’t want to do that because I couldn’t justify spending the money when we already had a free stay. He said he’d pay for the new hotel he wanted and to cancel my points booking. So I did. He booked a two bedroom suite with a view (it was admittedly a very nice room but unnecessarily large for 2 people). And then proceeded to make little complaints throughout the trip about the cost of the room. Now he’s upset that I won’t pay half. I’m standing my ground but he’s making me feel bad about it. AITA??

Some back story, my ex dumped me about a month ago. We were working on a few things with a therapist (including things like cussing me out) and it seemed like it was getting better but then she blindsided me and ended things out of the blue. We have mostly gone no contact since but she makes sure I know she is dating and talking to other men. Then last night she reaches out and tells me she is falling apart because her ex is dragging her through a nasty custody battle and it’s super ugly and she’s just falling.

She said she wanted to see me and to come over and watch a movie and cuddle but with no stress (ie no talk about the relationship). I told her I still love and would like to try and talk and work on us maybe having a relationship again but I couldn’t just be her friend who comes over and watches a movie with her when she’s stressed but who she discards and doesn’t want an actual relationship with. I wanted more with her. It didn’t feel fair for her to dump and discard me then a couple weeks later ask me for comfort. Well when I said that she flipped out telling me “fuck you” and that “this proves I’m not the person for her” and she just ripped into me telling me never to speak to her again.

Now it’s the next day and I’m wondering if I did the right thing? I have kids as well and if I was going through a custody battle I would be ridiculously stressed as well. Did I draw too hard a line in the sand with her? Did I do the right thing? Am I a complete insensitive jerk?

I (19F) moved out of my parents’ house after escalating fights, particularly with my stepdad (45M). Our conflicts often stemmed from misunderstandings, but things came to a head when I was woken up from a nap by him yelling at me. I responded defensively, and we quickly devolved into a shouting match.

Despite my efforts to explain that I’m a deep sleeper, my stepdad accused me of being lazy and ungrateful. He threatened to raise my rent significantly and claimed I’d never find a cheaper place. Out of frustration, I found an apartment online that was cheaper than what I was paying them.

During the argument, my stepdad told me to move out. I insisted that since I’d paid rent for the month, I deserved to stay until the end of it. My mom (43F) eventually supported my stance, but tensions remained high. My stepdad agreed to give me half my rent back, but I still needed to be out by the 15th.

Feeling overwhelmed, I confided in my fiancé (20F), who encouraged me to stay with her. My stepdad even threatened to call the cops on me regarding my car, which I had paid for but was registered under my mom’s name.

Despite my parents’ claims that I’d fail without them, I moved in with my fiancé and her mom. I started looking for apartments and found a couple of options. Although my parents said I’d come crawling back, I felt more independent and capable than ever.

I know I could have handled things better, but I felt cornered. I’m not planning to move back in with my parents, but I’m curious if there’s anything I should do differently now

Keep in mind: Late teens

Was in a relationship for about 1.5years, the first year was fine, everything went well. However I did have an underlying feeling that she was just in the relationship to make more friends with my other friends.

Fast forward to the next year, I couldn't help but notice she started distancing herself away, i.e I asked for PDA such as hugs or even just some hand holding, but they always had excuses such as "Oh I cant because titles"(despite pretty much everyone already knew). Yet despite this she was okay with skinship with other boys.

This goes on, further to her not even sparing any time for us to go out together, yet when she, her friend group, and some of my friends plans an outing she has millions of time for it.

Feeling unappreciated, I did ask her about it and she said "Im trying to fix it so match my vibes" yet she never made an effort and continued as usual blaming "Oh im very emotional". (From my perspective it looked like she wasn't even trying at all).

This is just me being sensitive, but: We once had matching pfps on our socials but I decided to take it off for a while to see what she would do, but after saying like "oh you dont wanna match anymore?" She used a picture of my friend(a boy) like around the day after.

Anyways, this goes on for a few months until I couldn't take it anymore and just broke up.

This is extra bit of info but try not to let it affect your judgement:

After the breakup, I admit I said quite the harsh words to her as I felt very disrespected and unappreciated, but guess what, less than two weeks apart(in my guesstimate) she's now dating my friend (the boy she set her pfp to).

I did feel this somewhat happening(like she was going after my "friends" instead) as she would always hang out with my "friends" instead of me and when I asked her "Am I not your friend?"(When we were still together) She just replied with "No cause titles".

Im happy for them they get their typical romeo saves juliet after breakup story atleast but I wanted to ask for clearance on my side;

AITA? sometimes I feel like I am for saying the harsh words after the breakup, but other times I also felt like those words were deserved.

Hello 👋

I am new owner of my apartment an REA did a Bad play by saying Tenant is leaving soon and gave me an email on behalf of tenant and told me to believe him when actually he was making a Dodgy Deal I am an 33 YEARS idiot who believed this ahole.

I found out his BS reached out to tenant and within 15 minutes we agreed to break the fixed term lease and signed a mutual Termination agreement with compensation of me paying their Bond money and Helping with moving.

I even helped them in searching potential properties as I did not want them to be in trouble as they were as same victim as me.

BUT can you help someone who does not want to help themselves. They cancelled an inspection stating AFL is on and it is very important to them. I started reading the situation in worst case scenario that WHAT if they not find anything and REFUSE to leave.

I asked them if they happy to sign intent to leave form 13 with me via text they agreed to do it happily.

Cut to mid October I am seeing I am more concerned and involved in helping them. So I told them I am leaving this up to you please get the needful done when you need me to compensate as per agreement I will be there.

They started Crying you leaving me alone, I have no help how will I go for inspections I stood firm as my job was suffering too.

Luckily this last place I took them for inspection they got accepeted and they paid deposit I reminded them about bond they said they will do Bond loan.

I said Ok up to you... Cut to me finding out the date they have agreed to move into new rental is 3 days pass the actual date been agreed upon... I called them out on it they said it was Agent who said that.

Now this person have taken their son to hospital and every single day he is into some sort of surgery that they claim CANT TALK GOING TO SURGERY.

All I am trying to reach out to her is about providing me details to arrange removalist people they refused to respond.

Now they are trespassing my property and they have abandoned their Cat at my place with No food No water as per their claims they have not been able to go home from last 15 days.

I have gone to QCAT and they have sent plea to adjourn the hearing.

If I dont vacate my own rental by 9th of November I will be actually Homeless as my landlord being nice understanding my situation have given me extension.

They claim FORM 13 is not BINDING And They have right to stay in property until they leave and I still owe them compensation as per agreement.

Please make me understand where I went wrong I have stayed as much honest I can be in writing this.

PS - Only communication is done through messages and Their number is never reachable as they keep it on DND.

They have been given breach for rent arrears which they have not remedied at all.

So me (F16) and my 2 friends M (m15) and F (m13) were all in a friend group with H (F15). M,F and I have known each other for months and about 3 months ago we meet H and invited her to the friend group after a while H and I started growing close and about a month or a month and a half ago we started dating. F never really liked H but hes still nice and we all play roblox together (dont judge its fun). But since a couple of weeks ago h has started to be saying that shes a bad gf and that we never get to talk because im always with F and its getting to a point that i dont know what do to and whenever im playing with F she always joins and then when I talk to her she ignores me. Like tonight 30/10 I was playing with F and H had joined I was afk and when i got back i had noticed H was gone so i went to call me and i asked if everything was okay and i could hear in her voice she was almost in tears so i asked what happened and she wouldnt tell me so i kept asking becuase i was worried and she blew up at me so i left the call and went back to playing with F and she had joined. It took us a while to find her and when we did F was chasing her and and she was ignoring me so i left and F left. About 10 minutes later i had texted her saying "dont join me in games if your not going to talk to me" and she responded with "Tell F not to harass me". but thats just F's personality like i said hes 13 and hes very fun and hes a nice friend always looking out for me and M. so i showed the texts to F and he called her a bitch and i agreed. And now i dont know what to do, AITA?

This year has been a really tough year for our family, and I acknowledge the fact my mum especially has been through a lot. Her mom (our grandma) passed away and we recently found out our dad was cheating on her (She forgave him). I also have a little sister, but shes 11 so shes still pretty small. My mum sometimes starts crying and sometimes in a low mood all of a sudden. I normally try and comfort her, and she tells me whats wrong. I don't have an issue with that, but the thing is shes recently been taking out all her negative things out on me, like blaming me for thing I can't control, and making me solve her problems. I'm still in highschool, and I currently have lots of assesments right now so it's hard to maintain family stuff and school stuff at the same time.

Shes normally nice to me when I'm comforting her, but she can get mad really easily and I'm the one she takes it out on (most of he time). I've gotton used to it and I normally just ignore her until she's calmed down, and it works fine for most anger outbursts. What I can't stand about her is the fact I'm expected to be her therapist and be there whenever shes in a bad mood, but I have no one to talk to. I've tried telling her I just wanted to put myself first for a bit, but she called me selfish, and completely unacknowleged everything I've done for her before.

I can't talk any sense to her and I've essentially given up on that. She just refuses to listen to whatever I have to say, and calls me attention seeking. Part of me wants to tell her that I'm not doing too good mentally as well, but the other part of me knows she won't do aything about it. I try to tell her once in a while how I feel but it normally ends with an argument about how selfish I am, and how I don't contribute to the family at all. I don't know If I'm just overreacting to something this small, but I just honestly have no idea what I can do anymore.

I (28M) and my bf (29M) have been friends for years but now have been in a romantic relationship for the last few months. It has been a good time but sort of weird as we have gone from friends to boyfriends, and I don’t know how to react to everything sometimes.

Due to a few different things, I have started smoking again. (I am aware of the dangers of tobacco smoking, but for now, let’s assume that I don’t plan on quitting.) Not wanting to wanting to hide things from him, I told my bf about my smoking. Not surprisingly, he got very upset.

He talked about the dangers of smoking. And I told him that I already knew about them. We went back and forth, but he eventually relented and said that he hated it but wasn’t going to stop me, but wanted to remind me regularly of how bad it was. I said “I don’t want to hear about this every day from you.” He kind of made a face like he didn’t like that I said that, but we moved on.

Well, later, I went outside to smoke and came back. I washed my hands, rinsed my mouth with water, and then started chewing gum. My bf immediately kissed me and then complained that there was a taste of cigarettes. I said “you kissed me literally after I have just come back from smoking and are now acting surprised. Can you not do this?”

He got sort of upset and told me not to talk to him like that. Unless it was that he didn’t like my tone, I don’t really see a reason for him to get upset. Maybe this is part of a larger issue of our conversations being different now that we are in a relationship versus just a friendship. AITA?

AITA for not visiting my paternal grandparents growing upeven though we only lived two houses away. A little background me and my sisters are the 2nd 3rd and 4th oldest of my grandparents grand kids out of 12 with me being the oldest grandson. They always favored the others over us. To the extent of going out of there way to drive across town to pick up and spend time with all of the others as well as buying them extravagant gift for holidays, birthdays, or just because. Whereas me and my sisters where lucky to even get a card or phone call on our birthdays. This happened all growing up. At one point they forgot my sisters birthday so my grandmother went and got an old card to someone else and scratched there name out and wrote my sisters name in it all within view of us. This rift became even worst when I came out to my family. So much so that even my dad’s siblings stopped talking to me and my siblings and going out of there way to avoid us when we would see each other out in public. My dad’s wife’s parents where more of grandparents to us after they got married when I was 13 then my biological grandparent ever where. So AITA

My fiancé and I are getting married in 10 months. He has asked his brother to be a groomsman and get ready with him on the morning of the wedding with the other groomsmen.

I am also getting ready in the same house with my bridesmaids & my mum.

However, the issue arises as my fiancé’s brother won’t leave his wife and baby for the morning of the wedding on their own and want to all travel up together.

I also don’t want to extend the invitation out for his wife to get ready with me & my bridesmaids as I am really looking forward to a relaxing (and baby-free) morning. Also, where we’re getting ready isn’t a huge space and is already pretty full with everyone already coming.

However, I now feel like I’m being a stopper in my fiancé getting ready with his brother. My fiancé is supportive and says that’s a decision that his brother has made and, although he’s not happy about it, there’s not much we can do.

Am I the asshole for not inviting her in the morning so my fiancé can spend time with his brother on the morning of our wedding?

Edit: edited to add clarity in first paragraph and remove identifying parts

I'm 23 now, and for context, my dad has always had severe anger issues. He would take it out on me and my siblings verbally, and on my mom verbally and physically. He’d beat her over trivial matters, even if we were there. I understand why my mom forgives him—she has nowhere to go and is doing this for her kids. But I can never forgive him for the pain he’s caused.

While he has provided for us and made sure we had an education, he’s so financially irresponsible that he hasn’t saved a penny in his entire life. We've always rented, and instead of saving for the future, my parents would waste money on travel, visits, and furniture. One time, he even sold our only vehicle to take us to a distant relative’s wedding. They’ve always believed in “living in the moment” rather than saving. I've calculated that he’s taken around $40,000 in debt over his life, sold his house, used his pension to pay off loans, and now we rely entirely on my older brother to cover our rent and other needs.

Whenever my dad brings up how much he’s “spent” on us, it makes me feel guilty, and I try to minimize my expenses. Yet my dad destroyed my childhood. He once held a knife to my mom’s throat in front of my younger sister and tore my sister's school uniform just because he got the wrong size. My parents make me feel bad for talking back, especially when I question their spending habits. They ignore how much their words hurt me.

Ever since shifting to this city where I go to uni for, since we were living on rent anyways, we thought that instead of paying my dorm rent, we would live in the same city and save up on it. Whenever relatives would come over, and I would tell them to spend hosting them thinking of their financial situation, I would always be yelled at. Like I'm the one who is wrong here.

Today, he was saying how I should pay for some mobile data for his sim (since he isnt too tech savvy). It is very cheap, but its not about the cost, but that he asks me every week. This has happened twice before, where I would say that oh I just did it last week, how did you spend it all so quickly? And he only uses it to call some people. And over this, he started to say that he can go live somewhere else if we want him to, and you all can live alone, I should just go back to living in a dorm since I don't want to live with them (has said this exact thing more than 10 times now in a span of five months).Then he said that I ruined his mood. What about how I started crying after these words? He has said this to me god knows how many times. What about my mood? Does only he have feelings?

I am so fed up of my dad, and I love my mom so much, she has beared so much, but she will never realize how toxic this person is. Since, he has always provided for us, we feel some sort of obligation towards him.

Is it petty if I just ghost my friend/roommate and pack up my things before the end of the month because she didn’t know my name? We have known each other for a year and this is the second time she told me she “thought” my name was something else. When I asked her where she thought my nickname came from, she said she didn’t know and just didn’t “care enough to look into it”. She didn’t even apologize for anything, just brushed it off and it was in the middle of us having dinner together. I don’t feel safe in the house anyway and there’s no contract.

Three weeks ago my stepsister (15f) first asked me (16m) if I'd care if she died tomorrow. The question was asked out of nowhere. She just came into my room at 10pm to ask me on a Friday night. I told her that wasn't a question I would answer. Three days later she asked me the question again and said I had a weird reaction to the question. I ignored her but she asked again, this time in front of my mom. My mom backed up my stepsister and told me she was allowed to ask since I'm so distant with her and refuse to stop calling her my stepsister when she calls me her brother.

I got really frustrated with them and I called them out. I told my stepsister she was asking a question that would lead to a really bad reaction if I answered one way and she'd likely call bullshit with the good answer. I told her she might not like that I call her my stepsister when she calls me her brother but it doesn't mean she can force questions that could have negative consequences on me. I told mom she was just looking for me to say something that could get me into trouble for this because she doesn't like that I still use step. My mom told me I should be willing to accept consequences, like punishment consequences, if I'm going to remain distant from more than half of my family (stepdad and stepsister). I told her she wasn't being fair because I was civil and polite and I didn't cause shit for anyone. She yelled at me that I should have been willing to open my heart to growing our family after dad died and instead I made life sad for all three of them because I'm not along for the ride. She said being polite isn't good enough when people's emotions and hearts are in the mix.

My stepsister started crying which made mom send me to my room. She took my phone for 5 days as a punishment and my stepsister told me after the punishment was handed down that it served me right for not being the brother she wanted.

Additional info you might need: My dad died when I was 7, mom remarried when I was 10. I had grief therapy and we all did family therapy together. I'm close to both sets of grandparents and one paternal uncle. My stepsister's mom abandoned her when she was a baby and she has no contact with her mom's side of the family and only a little contact with her dad's side. Her dad isn't close to his family and he has tried to change it but doesn't work. She wanted me to be her brother from the start and called me her brother before my mom even married her dad. I never say sister or dad for her and her dad. I don't hate her. I was always more indifferent but lately starting to dislike her for being so pushy and whiny about it.

AITA?

So my husband's sister is rude and entitled. One of her recent stunts was that even though she does not live with us and has not lived with us for years, she decided to use our home address for legal purposes. My husband immediately told her that was not okay with us and to change her address. She proceeded to insult my husband calling him names etc. so of course when her mail arrived we returned the mail. Lo an behold she received some important legal doc and now she's livid because she says we returned her mail. Another family member came over unannounced upset about the whole situation saying that it was not nice for my husband to treat his sister that way. I stayed quiet because it is not my place but I told my husband he shouldn't feel bad about putting boundaries with toxic family members. His sister is throwing a fit calling multiple family members, crying over the phone about how she has to pay additional lawyer fees now. Even as I write this post the more ridiculous his sister's behavior becomes. Anyway, am I the asshole?

AITA? I (43f) live with my partner (41m) and my daughter (15f), close to my parents. Six years ago, after separating from my daughter’s father (we were together 18 years, married for 10), I relied heavily on my parents, especially my mom. She supported me emotionally and financially, helped with childcare, and was there for me through the difficult transition. Moving closer to them strengthened our bond, and she helped by doing some cleaning and feeding my daughter after school while I worked. When I met my current partner, she continued helping with my daughter after school, but I started to regain my independence.

My partner has bipolar disorder, which has brought some challenges, including job instability and a period of heavy drinking that led us to briefly separate. He eventually found the right support for his mental health and drinking, and we reconnected, enjoying a stable relationship for the last two years. My mother, however, disapproved of our reunion and distanced herself for five months, only reconnecting when she faced a cancer diagnosis. Although strained, we were working on our relationship, and I accepted her leaning on my sister for support through her treatment.

Ten months later, she went into remission and began feeling better. She returned to helping around my home, doing light cleaning and ironing, which I expressed was unnecessary but appreciated. Her involvement, though, started to feel possessive. She began reprimanding me over cleaning choices, insisting she handle my daughter's bedding, and becoming critical of small tasks.

Things escalated when my partner, who had recently lost his job, picked up laundry from my daughter’s room. My mother took this as an insult and accused him of spitefulness. A major argument ensued, and despite my attempts to set boundaries and explain there was no ill intent, she insisted on controlling aspects of our household tasks. When I got up to leave, she followed me, physically shoving me out and telling me not to return. I haven’t been back in two weeks.

Now, I’m questioning whether I should have backed down, as she’s unwell and undergoing tests to determine if her symptoms are post-chemo or something more serious. My partner thinks she’s being narcissistic and dramatic and says I shouldn’t apologize, especially as I usually end up doing so regardless of who’s at fault.

AITA for wanting independence even though I once needed her support?

My sister (18F) and I (21F) have always been really close, and she’s basically my best friend. We like to goof around a lot so we sometimes do a lot of dumb shit to annoy each other.

So today too we were obviously gonna do something to annoy each other. My sister made herself a really nice sandwich in the afternoon, and she’s left it there on the counter for about half an hour or so. Seeing this, I jokingly said I was gonna eat it if she doesn’t come and get it. I’m sure she knew I was joking so she ignored me quite a few times. Then I noticed her approach my laptop. So, while she was on my laptop, I slowly reached in for her sandwich (of course I wasn’t gonna eat it for real) but that set her OFF. She threw some stuff at me which left a scratch mark on my arm, so I just sternly told her that violence isn’t something that’s tolerated. Then she got mad at me, saying how I shouldn’t have tried to take her food in the first place.

Then we were arguing back and forth with me just repeatedly saying how violence is not ok, and her just repeating how I was being annoying in the first place. After a while I walked away and she started sobbing. I felt really awful until I looked at my laptop to find many downloaded images of anime hot guys on my desktop, which I lowkey enjoyed ngl

Regardless, I do still feel a little bad about all this. I know this situation is really dumb and I’m sure we’re gonna get over it by tmr or something. Anyway, I feel like it was definitely assholey for her to be physically aggressive but I wanted to know if I’d also be an asshole too, or what percent asshole I’d be in this case.

AITA for not sumbitting to my brother?

(This my first post and english is not my native language)

So, I’m 15 Years old (Male) and my brother is 16.He doesn’t like me and openly brags about it. Everytime we’re together at a family reunion he always belittles me and makes everyone laugh this way. Of course, it hurts, but je doesn’t even care. It wasn’t always this way: up until 2020, we lived eachother very much and always did things together, whereas now he’s always trying not to talk to me. I also have a younger sister (9) and he absolutely loves her; they always play, read, talk and go outside together. But with me it just isn’t the same. He simply hates me. The quote-unquote breaking point was last week. I was meant to go to my uncle with my mom and sister but in the end I didn’t want to go because I had too much homework. So when my brother found out about this, he got very angry. We had an argument and said the same things as always: that he doesn’t like and never dit, etc… I forgot to mention this but I do everything within the house: I cook for my family, I take care of my sister’s homework, I always do the laundry and the dishes, I clean the house with the mop amongst others…. So, during the argument, he lied about how I never do the chores around the house, the argument got heated and he punched me (Which isn’t all too uncommon with him). I told my parents ans they all dismissed it, saying it was just quarrels between teens (it most likely is but still not an excuse to hit your brother). So I decided to stop doing the chores, and now all my family is overwhelmed, especially because he was always lazy, and whenever my brother tells me to do something, I don’t. And now the whole family acts like it’s my fault, and that I’m a brat and that I’m not grateful towars my brother. So, am I in the wrong for not sumbitting to my brother?

i 17 m was talking to one of my cousins on my moms side about 1 week ago and my childhood came up in the convo idk why but, before i continue with what was said you should know that my mom and her wife were very abusive towards me and my younger brother i was around 9 when i moved in with my dad and brother, so my cousin asked me if i would ever talk to my mom again and i told her i would never talk to her and she thinks i'm an ahole for it even after i explained everything she let happen to me i don't think i can list most of the stuff that was done to me here but lets just say i was physically mentally and emotionally abused from the ages of 4 to 9 and my cousin thinks i'm in the wrong for it but my mom is the cause for my ptsd and i have a service animal for it, so aita for telling my cousin i won't speak to my mom after what she did to me and my brother?

I am 28M and I get paid not much better than a college intern (and not because I suck or don't have requirements for a better job). I have a 4 year bachelors in Information Systems Technology and I know it's nothing super "high-scale", it's definitely decent enough to not expect bullshit answers for positions my bosses themselves told me I qualify for.

Seven times in the past 3 years, my boss gave promotions to cute young women fresh out of college after telling me repeatedly I was due for a promotion. The excuse is always "well this young woman caught on so fast that we felt we should give her a chance."

One time they had me train one of these women how to do the job above mine, and I was promised to be considered for the next promotion. That was a lie and I'm literally still where I started. Their excuse was "we just got too swamped to promote you and teach you entirely new things, so we (for some reason) hired a new guy with multiple DUI records because he's clearly more qualified than you." So I'm looking for new jobs.

I told my grandparents and the rest of my family I won't be able to visit them as much next year, maybe once every 6 months until I get a better job. I'm being underpaid and they live pretty far away (it's a 2 day drive) these little vacations add up. Now they are mad at me, saying "but money isn't everything." A lot of my family is saying that I always put them last. AITA?

Throwaway and fake names.

I (18F) recently joined a new friend group at my high school after my old friend group fell apart because of growing distance and past friendship dramas. My current group is small and tight knit, with about 7 people in total including me.

My friend group has about 7people in total including me. Amber, Lucy, Celine, me, Claudia and Wendy. Most of the group, including me, shared the same hobbies of swimming, drawing comics and reading books. Recently though, I picked up a new hobby of creative writing, specifically fanfiction. I knew about platforms such a Wattpad, FFN and AO3 and decided to ask a friend outside of my school, who is an avid writer on the platforms.

After the friend had introduced me to some beautiful AO3 fanfictions and how the platform worked in general, I fell down the rabbit hole of fanfiction, due to its creativity and the amazing writing quality of the authors, hence I felt inspired to try and write a fanfiction of my own. I wanted to give it a shot because 1) it's good writing practice and 2) It just seemed fun, though I admit I did want to get a bit of publicity on AO3, before trying to write some original content.

I thought a bit about what fandoms to write about and I tried to think of really big fandoms to gain publicity, such as Harry Potter, BNHA etc. But I wasn't interested in those fandoms and I didn't want to write a fanfiction about a fandom I didn't care about, so another idea came to mind. Since I was a huge KPOP listener, I decided, why not try writing a KPOP fanfiction? I wouldn't have to worry about writing out of character and the fandom was big enough to get a lot of constructive criticism and traction.

When I had told my friends that I was writing a fanfiction though, they asked about the fandom and I said "Stray Kids", as they are my favourite group right now. This is where I might be the AH. When they asked about the plot, I told them it was a fantasy/horror AU with a bit of chemistry between the two MCS, Han and Leeknow. I emphasised that there was nothing sexual in the fic and that I didn't actually ship them together.

My friends then accused me of being "delusional and parasocial" because I was writing a "ship fic" between two irl celebrities, before telling me what I was doing was creepy and in their words, "Sasaeng behaviour". I argued back and said that there was no smut and the romance was going to be very light, before emphasising that I didn't actually ship them and was just writing out of fun. I also told them that it was the same kind of thing with fanmade edits and compilations that were intended to be a joke. But my friends are still not accepting my explanation and calling me a creep and now I'm wondering whether what I did was genuinely out of line/creepy behaviour.

So Reddit, AITA here?

TL;DR: I wrote a KPOP fanfiction and my friends are accusing me of being delusional and creepy.

My(48F) son (26M), ''James'' very recently got married to his wife (24F), ''Lily''. For some backstory, my husband passed away in a tragic car accident when my son was around a year old. It was devastating, and in some ways, I still haven't moved on. It's been just me and James for so long, and I'm really happy he's found someone who loves him. Now, he was living with me during that time, so Lily moved in with us. They discussed it before and were okay with that.

We had a family gathering at our house, where we basically have lunch and play some games, stuff like that. It was suggested by one of my husband's cousins who lives nearby, "Tom", and we all liked the idea, but the date he suggested was our anniversary, and we'd complete 30 years of marriage if my husband was around. I wanted the day to myself, and asked him if we could do it some other day, but he said it's the only weekend everyone is free, because they all have work or studies lined up for the others. I tried reiterating that it wasn't a good time, but they decided to have it then anyways. So most of the relatives who live nearby, my daughter with her husband and kids come over. I really didn't want to deal with people at all, but I was trying to keep it together.

While we were having lunch, Tom and his wife announce that their daughter (20) is dropping out of college and starting a business, and they wanted to celebrate her taking this new step in life. Everybody was happy for her and started discussing about her plans. I know I was supposed to be happy for her, but I was having a hard time being happy about anything. After a while, while playing a board game, they say that she needs capital, and they don't have enough. They suggested my son ''loaning'' them the money his father left him. Tom and family are known to never pay people back, so of course my son refused. Tom was upset and said that it was ''his fair share anyways'', which my husband should have given him. My son never got along well with him or his family, so he refused and said it's his, and he's not interested in supporting his daughter's business. After some back and forth, Tom's wife continued about how we should be more supportive of her as it's hard enough to start a business as a woman. My son refused, and Tom said to me ''Good job on raising a misogynist''. I was silent. At some point they dropped it and focused on the game, but they kept throwing stray remarks at my husband for leaving him nothing in his will. They weren't upfront enough to catch attention, but I couldn't take it, and I asked them to stop. They didn't. I had enough, and badly needed an outlet. I ended up crying. Tom, wife and daughter gave me an earful for making everything about myself again, said that I should put living relatives over a dead person, that it's been 25 years, I need to move on, and left. They're badmouthing me in the group chat and want me to apologize.

So, AITA? Should I apologize?