Is Astrid the Invincible agan. Sori furr posting so mch! I tink i mybe tc here. U see, nu momther tok me to pokey place to get "spayed", but dunno wat dat mens. Nyway, I tink I mst had gon to slep cuz wen I woke up, waz in box agan. I tink falled aseep gain cuz we got bck in rum qu- cui- fast. Nyway, nu momther wuz pat head and said ITC for trickery!! Parently, I had alrdy ben this "spayed" nd dey poked me for no reson! Nu momther agreed dat vet is real tc, but momther sed no way of nowing cuz pokey place dat spayed me no put dot on tummy. Now haf t ware dis stpid outfeet!

I not tc, right?

(Momther note here: I got Astrid from the streets with no papers and no microchip. So without the dot or without opening her up, there was no way to see if she'd been spayed. So I feel bad now.)

Greetings! I am Tallulah but you can call me Lubert. I live with the boring human (never does anything fun or interesting, is basically Lydia from Skyrim), the annoying human (weird size, too affectionate, gone half the time and will soon be moving away FOREVER I HOPE), my dog brother (nice but old so not very fun), and Her Ordained Majesty, the God-Empress of the Universe. I love Her Ordained Majesty so much that I feel the urge to bark, like, all the time. There are so many things I need to warn her about, plus sometimes she manages to not even pay much attention to me so I need to bark for that too. Plus barking is just fun and feels good. But The Presence tells me not to bark, and I feel like I should probably do what she says because I love her sooooooo much.

Why I might not be the cloaca: there are so many dangers out there that she doesn't notice, I feel like I am doing my most important job by protecting her and keeping her safe. The weird guy who leaves stuff on the porch every day probably would've kidnapped her like 12 times if not for me. I have been working my ass off for over two years on 24/7/365 protection duty, and I don't even get overtime pay or bonuses. I know HOM is a perfect human being so it's not her fault, but Boy-Lydia could at least give me some cheese now and then.

My nam is Christie-Cat (2.5F). Sometimes my hoomans call me Christie-Brat, or Menace. They are my frens.

I am smol, so I like to be tall-high. One time I found a tall place in the kitchen above the stove. It a great new place with lots of smells! But when I jump down, there was a big boom-crash. I run away so my hoomans don’t know it me, but they find me and say I naughty for breaking the coffee pot. They cranky in mornings after for days and days and weeks and years. But my high place was fun so I don’t know why?

After that I got a new tall-high tree. It so tall, I touch the ceiling on the top! Me and my sister like looking down on the peasants, I mean humans. But I still want more new places!

I found a new tall-high place that I can get to by jumping from bookshelf. It loooong jump, but I a good jumper. When I jump there was another big boom-crash. When my hooman put me back on the ground, there now a fun pile of dirt! I like dirt! My hooman say I naughty again for breaking her favourite llama pot. But the new high place was fun so I still don’t know why?

I tried to show her my belly like I do when I let her know I’m a good cat who deserves pats and treats and pats. But she still say I a menace? AITC because I want to be tall-high?

Hello! I is Elwing, the 8mo pet rat girl. I lives wif little sister Elanor (7mo), big sisters Celebrian and Rosie (20mo) and elderly sister Idril (32mo). We has human mom.

When we do out of cage playtime, I likes to do splore. I really like finding places I not supposed to be. It also make mom pay more attention to me. I likes attention and play wif mom.

So while I wuz on bedside table (and mom telling me no), I find very cool thing. It big bag of syringes. Now, syringes is very exciting. Often have treats inside. Idril get her special food in syringe and we sometimes get to taste. Also, sometimes mom gib us almost empty syringe. Is fun to play wif and tear apart. Big sisters say syringe not always fun. Sometimes hab evil medsin. But that never happen to me, so I lubs syringes.

Now, these syringes be empty (sad), but there be lots of them. So I climbs into bag to try to carry them away. But mom do me a GRAB and say "No!" So I do logical thing. When she no looking, I goes back. I now do this every playtime. It good game, even tho mom no let me take any syringes away. But mom say I TC acause she need bag of clean syringes. She no want to lock them up because it less "convenient". But I thinks she shoulds not be hoard all the fun toys like that.

What you think?

Hi! I am Mouse-cat! I am teen! Thir teen weeks! At the place with cages and many anmals they told me I was a boy. But my new human told me I was a girl. So that was a secret I guess!

I am at new house with human, big human, spare human, and Helene (void girl cat, 5 years, new friend!). Helene hissed at me at first but now we chase! Maybe some day snuggle! Helene told me about crimez! So I tried a crimez! I pooped in the sink!

It was good because I pooped. But then it was bad because the sink was slippery and I stepped in the poop!! But was ok because I cleaned myself. All good. But the human said “why did you do that??” and cleaned it up. Then stuck me in the sink and washed all my clean paws! So that was bad. But, crimez, so I did it again later! That time was all good because I did not step in. Human did not agree. She cleaned it and then covered the sink so no more pooping there. Sad.

Did I do good crimez? AITC? And is being the cloaca bad or good? Helene says I am a silly Mouse-cat and need to learn catting. I think I know how to cat because I born that way.

Hi! My name at da skeery loud place was Citrine, but the lady who takes me away from der say I am Theo. She is Mama an my new brudder is Sam.

I not sure about dis place but think maybe okay? Mama is nice, she gives food and treats and pets and toys and lets me hide when I’m scared. She not get mad when I do big poop on car-pet. Sam is kind of skeery, he big and do growl but not try to hurt me. Maybe we play later.

Anyways, I do nap on dis bed. Mama laugh an say new brudder maybe run heerz to do more complain!

I’m not cloaca, am I? Mama call me “good boy Theo” lots an lots.

Meowmy put her weird furs in da loud boxes today. She call dis "doing da lawndree", I dunno why she not just lick furs like catses, is mor effish -- offic -- faster. Anywayz, den it wuz time to put away all da clean furs in da closit. Like alwayz, she furst set up mai bed (is her softy purrple robe all foldeded up like I likes it) next to her so's I can soopervize. Den she start do putaways.

But da ting is... I kind of wanted do crimez. Hadn't done crimez for eleventy billion years, basically wuz being "good girl" at dis point (PUKE, AMIRITE??). So I decided insted of sit on mai bed, I sit on clean furs. Anywayz is easier to soopervize wen I closer! But Meowmy sed dis was CLOKA behavpurr an also "clear evidence of criminal tendencies". (Dat last part feel more like komplamint, to be honess.)

Den she took pikchurr of me an put on r/catsareassholes (iznt dis hate crime to cats???) So I comes here to ask: AITC?

Hello! Tis I Astrid the Invincible (9F, grey tuxie). I tink nu momther shud sty in rum. Sh keep trying to leve. She sit at magic box all day nd I sitted on hr lap. She kep getting up!! Cudn't bleve it! At one pont, she made the magic box go blank. She try to leve rum, so I run to door and hisssss. I say hisss at her. Bt she no listen! She just say to 'stop it, Astrid, I hafta go to the bathroom' (yeah, I had chai and you'd been sitting on my lap for an hour)

Nyway, momther left and many moons later (it was like an hour. I was eating dinner) shhhh. She cm bak! She giv me yucky ai drops, bt I good kit. Do not run or growl. But thn!!! She try to lve again! So I run to door and hiss and growl. Momther no leave!! Nyway, she mve me out of way and leve! She say itc for hissin, but ai say she tc for leving me!

What say you, frends?

I is Reese. Also Reesy-Roo. Mom even make my own theme song. (Reesey Reesy Roo, where are you?) I is 1 year old. I is female. I is Daniff. I is beautiful and everyone tells me. I is also itty bitty tiny baby. On to issue.

I has important job. “Office moose” which means I watch people outside office window. I greet everyone and make sure they pay the entry pets fee. I think moose just mean tiny thing, because I is very tiny. I also alarm for important times. Times like eating and leaving. When I alarm, I rest my teeny tiny head on mom arm to say “time to go” but sometimes mom say “not time to go” or “still have hour” which can’t be right, cause hour is time, and time is meaningless. I just know is time to eat or time to go. And I tell mom. Sometimes she says something really crazy like “I just filled your bowl 5 minute ago, how are you out?” But then she take me outside, and I get to smell the dumpster, which is always magic.

Today she say “you cloaca, you’re heavy head is killing my arm!” But how can tiniest of heads even be heavy? It makes no sense. And then she say “you cloaca because I tell you it’s not time yet and you keep bugging” but I not bug? I small like bug, but I not bug… mom just confusing.

Reddit, tell mom I is not cloaca. She say she listen to your judgement.

(Pic in comments)

Frens, I cannot BELIEFZ what has happened! The Betrayer (furmerly Mama) brought home an introoderz and tell me it my new brofur! It smells funny and just curls up behind chair and…I can hardly say this part frens…it eat my treats!

He’s just a baby and in a new place. Once he knows he’s safe here you two will have so much fun-

SILENZ BETRAYER! Anyway, when food timez come I do tiny little growl so it know not to get funnee ideaz about my bowl. No showing teefers or do a snap, just warning. The Betrayer call me cloaca and say don’t growl at the baby!

Frens, I am speetch…speef…don’t knows what to say! This is Da WURST!

I Perry Linus Jackson, first of my name, King of the Sandals, the Trainers and the Tennis Balls, Lord Paramount of the Park and all of my Kingdoms, Indisputable leader of the Pack and Protector of the Mum, did a proclaim last Wendesday that I intendeded to leave earthly realm behind this past Catturday and move my Throne Room to the other side of the Rain-bow Vridge. Ever since, my silly Bruders and Sisters have been doing the up-rising trying to steals my Throne all doing the claiming they most pretty, most popular, most clever, best hunter, most black. Not tru. We waged glorious war. I barked my orders and they capitulated. So when the vetenterarian came home to help me over the Rain-Bow I had won my war and went a hero of this and many dog and human battles and adventures. If the Pack thought I would go quietly into the night they were very wrong as I have hidden many tokens and memorials of me and of my Kingdom in the realm, so they will never take my Throne. The Pack say I cloaca because one of them should rule or at least do the impression of rule, but I say they Cloaca for revolting and they mere subjects of the Kingdom I will rule forever. What say you fellow rulers of other Kingdoms, AITC?

^Hello

I am Stella and I don’t know where I am, or where my mom is. I’ve been to this place once before, when I was a kitten, but this time my mom brought all my stuff and said a tearful goodbye.

Last night I cowered in my crate in Girlchild’s room. She speaks to me very gently and offers licky treats. I think she might be a monster. The other people who’ve come to check on me are definitely monsters. And when I was being transported through the house, I saw an actual, literal monster…the people called it “dog” and “Maxy”. I told him ^hiss.

It seems I might be here for an extended stay. I want to go home but my mom said she needs to find a home and that’s why she asked her friend to keep me for a while. It’s been a while, almost 15 hours. I’m ready to go.

Lady just came in to visit with me and I’m hiding in the farthest corner under Girlchild’s bed. AITC if I just stay under here for a so-called “while”? Or until Mom lands on her feet? It’s very easy, cats do it all the time.

UPDATE: My mom came back!!! 😸 She said she forgot a few things, like my favorite ball and bed. I darted out from under the bed and wove figure eights between her legs for ten minutes. But then Mom got choked up again, picked me up and hugged me, then said goodbye again. I’m sure she’ll be back tomorrow…right?

[Lady update: 😭😭😭 Her mom has to move to a different part of the country. We hope to reunite them in a few months once she’s back on her feet. Meanwhile, Stella will know nothing but love and kindness here.]

Deuce (7m blue nose pit bull) here. Mom left me today! Rude! She came home and took me for a walk and gave me my lunch but then she left again. She’s not supposed to do that on the weekend. When she came back home, we went for another walk and she gave me my dinner but we didn’t go to bed right away. I started growling and barking. She said I needed to be quiet because our human roommates need to go to work early. Finally she cleaned up the kitchen and got laundry out of the dryer. Then she put clean sheets on the bed and I helped.

(You did not help; a 70-pound dog lying on a fitted sheet makes it a lot harder to make up a bed.)

Sam (13m gray and white piebald cat) here. Mom needed to change the sheets so I horked up some crunchies and a hairball on the fitted sheet. (#sorrynotsorry). She stripped the bed and washed them so now I have a nice clean bed. But just for variety I also made a nest in the rest of the clean laundry.

(At least it’s not my work clothes.)

We can’t possibly be TC, right?

(I really feel for my roommates. One has to get up at 3:30 for her job as a baker’s apprentice, and the other starts a new job tomorrow.)

Halooo I am BESTEST TOASTY MARSHMALLOW KITTYCAT BOY SHIRO age 1 or so, and my bruvver Dodie calls me a cloaca everyday all day long because I bite his tail and slap him in the face with MY TAIL heeeee

Anyways I gotta question, tomorrow I'm sposed to do a "nooter" and I'm not sure what that is. Brothercat just laffed at me and called me a dumb butt in Meow so I stoled the cactus toy from him

I used to live OUTSIDE, I was hunter trash kitty but now I only see the birbs from Window and on Teevee (no cats on TEEVEE)

Anyway what's a nooter an why I gotta do one? AITC for playing with old man crankycat?

Hello, my name is Nona (2F tabby and white Princess). I will cut right to the chase: I Love Underwear. Specifically the Underwear of my Big Friend Miles (29NB, Best Human). Underwear Smells like Big Friend Miles and is so good for Rubbing my Entire Face in, especially when Fresh. My Tiny Brother Chester (2M dilute orange) prefers to obtain Smells from Shoes, but I find Underwear is Far Superior in Quality and Concentration of Smells.

Big Friend Miles says that my preference for Underwear makes me a Weird Girl and also maybe a Pervert. I would like to make it quite clear that I am not concerned with Dignity; while in the couple of months since I moved in with Big Friend Miles I have learned the language of the upper crust of cats, I consider Dignity to be quite useless when it comes to getting What I, Nona, Want, which is obviously the Most Important Thing.

However, last night I was feeling especially in need of Smells and I Grabbed the Underwear before Big Friend Miles was finished Taking it Off. This made Big Friend Miles call me a Cloaca as well as a Weird Girl. I wanted to confirm with my Feline Friends that they are Incorrect. Anything a girl as pretty as me Wants could not possibly make me a Cloaca, right?

Hi frens it is me Molly (5F, black mutt). My mamas leave me eberyday except what they call the “Week End”. They go to the Boring Place for elebenty hours. Except on the day before Week End, my one mama only stay at Boring Place for half elebenty hours. When she get home, I say hi but then I go back to couch and no want pets, no want cuddles becauz I still haven’t finished my daylong job of napping and lazing around. Mama say I hurt her feelings because I ignore her. I not ignore her, I know she there. I just have more napps to do becaus my naps take all elebenty hours my mamas is gone usually. AITC for not want cuddles from mama when she the one who not stick to sccheudle?

I (Astrid, grey tuxie, unknown age) was liv on da street, gettin fud frm da peeple around. Sude- sudn- was cawt! Wuz terr- tr- bad! Hooman whoo catch me sed goin t nu hme. Dint wanna!!! Bt my ey hurted n tay sed nu momther cud hlp. Nu momther pickded me up todai nd put me in large mbing ting. We traved fur many moons.

Now in nu house. I gots onto nu momther's high ting to sit in sun. Sh let me sit dar fur ony abut 3 seconds (it was 15 minutes, Astrid) shush! The she grab me n put on da floor. So I growl at hers!!! She laf n say itc, but I no dink so!

AITC?

Hello, I is Rosie the pet rat girl 30mo. I lives wif sisters Idril (1 year older), Celebrian (same age) and Elwing and Elanor (1 year younger). We has human mom.

Our cage hab two water bottles, one on top level, one on bottom level. Mom keep them filled, but sometimes she a bit slow. So I wakes up in middle of night and goes for nearest bottle. It empty. So I lick, lick, lick until mom wake up from noise. She say "Rosie, you could just walk downstairs and use that bottle. I just filled it." But I no want to use downstairs bottle. I want upstairs bottle filled now.

Mom finally get up and refill upstairs bottle. I have nice long drink and we all go back to sleep. That wasn't so hard? But now mom is calling me TC for wake her up. She say she already super tired from when Idril got sick this weekend. What you guys think?

I posted before about the mouse-cat that the humans let come in the house. The mouse-cat has been mostly trapped in the bathroom. Sometimes it vanishes and then the humans let me go in and sniff things. It also comes out sometimes when I am not around so I can smell it in the house, which I didn't like at first, but it was starting to get used to. Then yesterday the small human let it out by accident! My human was concerned, but when she saw that it did not kill me, she was relieved. She put it back in the bathroom, but later got it out with me in the room and distracted it with a toy so it didn't kill me. I watched it play with the toy and was intimidated by its killer instincts, but started to be less scared because it didn't want to kill anything but the toy. It came running up to me a couple times in a rude way, but luckily the human coincidentally distracted it with the toy before I could give it a bap in case it wanted to bite me. (The human has been especially erratic since mouse-cat arrived. She's been forgetting she just gave me treats and giving me lots and lots of treats. I think she's distracted, because she'll be giving me treats while mouse-cat sticks its paw under the door and meows for treats too.)

The human got it out to play again today. After a while I started to think maybe mouse-cat could be a one to play with? It seemed to run around a lot, so I followed it, then it seemed it wanted me to chase it, so I chased it a little. Then it chased me, which was not so good except it stopped before it reached me so I didn't have to bapbapbap or even hiss. I put up my paw and it backed up, so maybe we can have mutual respect??

But to go back to my question, after the human put mouse-cat back in the bathroom I needed to unwind, so I lay down and sniffed and bit my catnip toy. The human laughed at me when I was lying on the floor trying to rub my face on my back foot. She said I was irresponsibly high and couldn't play with mouse-cat until I sobered up because I might accidentally bite too hard. Obviously mouse-cat is the dangerous one here and the human is rude and confused. AITC for getting irresponsibly high? I think mouse-cat might not actually be the cloaca? Is the human the cloaca for being rude and erratic, even though she saved me from mouse-cat accidentally and gave me elebenty billion treats instead of the usual three?

Iz me Poppy. Ai can’t helps it if ai haz da gaz. But ai maed sher mah butt wuz rite by her fase.

Henlo frens! I’m Lucy the perfect angel doggo (10F). I like to think I'm kinda wise for a dog. Most days, I like to play with my ball or cuddle with my hoomans, but today was different. My tummy felt all twisty, and I didn’t know what to do.

See, when I feel like this, I know eating some plants helps. I don’t think they’re food, but they do the trick when I’m sick. Usually, I munch on some grass, and then, well... it happens, and I feel better. I knew the flowers would help, so I took a couple of bites.

Sure enough, my tummy got even twistier, and then... yep, I threw up. Yuck, I know. But after that, I felt a lot better. Problem solved!

But then, my hooman saw me and got mad. They said, “Lucy, why did you eat the flowers?!” I wasn’t trying to be naughty. I didn’t even think they were food! I just needed something to help me throw up.

Now I’m thinking... Am I the cloaca because I ate the flowers? I didn’t mean to be naughty. I just wanted to feel better!

Hello, I (Lily, 5f, half terrier half corgi) live with my two best friends (30s, M+F). Today we sit in house with some friends when M fart. Hoomans don’t hear or smell but I know immediately who fart, because I’m smort. But then hoomans smell stinky fart and M says: “Ew, Lily, did you fart?” and they laugh! But he fart!! He’s criminal and framed me! Is terrible injustice! After he gave me carrot, which is nice, but I still think I’ll need a pawyer! M says I should just accept carrot to take the blame but I think he’s wrong!

It is us, Merry the Magnificent and Pippin the Pawsome! (4m black bun, 2f white flufferbutt)

Once again our hoomom has called us the dreaded C word! Last night she was getting our greenies for dinners, and was not being very fast, let us tell you! Well she keeps the demon box (it's a carrier, y'all, come on now) near our home base, so while she took her sweetest time with the greenies I, Pip, decided to go in and do a digdigdig. Of course my husbun joined me since he is very good and runs a wonderful bunstruction business.

Well hoomom looks at us and goes, y'all! You hate the demon box when I put you in it! You are c words for playing in it now!

But we no thinks we are the C words. We are just filling time until hoomom finally gets us our greenies. FINALLY.

Henlo,

Dis is an anonymoose post because we might be in the wrong (although this is highly improbable).

We are a flock of four budgerigars who have been working very hard for over two years on our destruction construction project. We got an official purrmit from the cat saying this work is authorized, so we feel we have a legal claw to stand on.

The excavation is 15’ up, in the ceiling, where humans never venture. We finally had a huge breakthrough the other day (Mom found drywall all over the floor) and went to bed that night happily planning Part II of the Big Dig: chomping through the roof itself and onto sweet, sweet freedom.

The next morning the humans were quite delayed in taking the cover off the cage, and we heard all sorts of scraping and drill noises. No problem, that gave us time to put on our hard hats, review our blue & yellow prints, and prepare for a big day.

A short while later our cage door was opened and the forewoman, who for the sake of anonymity we’ll call S. Bell (no, that’s too obvious, let’s call her Sweetie B.) immediately flew to the worksite, only to find all our hard work covered by an impenetrable force field!! We, so fleet of feather, have been foiled by humans who can’t even fly!! How dey do dat?! How’d they even get up there?!

So who is in the wrong here? Are we the cloaca for putting a hole in the ceiling (no)? Or are humans the ******* for thwarting our coordinated and authorized destruction WE MEAN construction project (YES)?

Greeting to my fellow cats, and other minions/loyal subjects.

My name is Tiania, (or Titiroa depending on the human language), but you may call me Queen Tiana.

For a long time have lurked and observed on this 'subreddit', and pleased to see other that understand our cat ways, so I have deigned to put paw to keyboard. Somewhat surprised to see even dogs comment here, when really, I thought they simply slobbered on everything like low class sycophants to humans.

Anyway, I reside at a lovely resort, with many comfortable beds, scratching and observation posts. Been satisfied with the establishment, and have trained staff (two senior, one junior) to the best of their limited abilities. They give lovely chin rubs, neck scritches and fine massage pats on demand, and have learnt that I expect these at all times, including early hours in the morning.

Younger maid says I have been at this resort for about three years now, but she also claims that I was a 'rescue cat' which is nonsense; just look at me, and you can see I am clearly descended from line of royal and great panthers.

Food at the resource is good; I require breakfast and evening buffer with a selection of tasty wet and dry foods, even sharing some human 'chicken' food and getting 'treat' food for supper before the humans take their overly long 'night' nap. I used to hunt the odd bird, mouse or skink to bring home for play/snack, but the humans never appreciated the gift of very fresh and lively sport/food and to be honest, I simply prefer when they fetch and roast me a chicken bird instead.

The issue is this; I was betrayed by human (tempted by the rattle of favorite treats), rudely catnapped and placed into a horrible mobile 'carrier' and taken to the most awful establishment ever. I recalled this place from previous indignities, but this was worse. While the human servant was talking to the evil one in a white coat, and they chuckled in an evil way; at least they didn't notice that while they talked about me, I hopped down from the big table and managed to slip into a hidy cupboard; they never would have found me, but for my plaintive and sad mews of complaint in cat-talk that they overheard.

Anyway then I heard it. They used the C word. No, not clocoa, whatever that is, but... but 'chonky'.

Moi.. a sleek black supermodel of the cat world.. chonky?

It was so distressing, when we finally returned home I demanded a full 3 course late afternoon snack; but they now stave me and give me 'healthy' food. This is simply abuse; I am a VIP, and the food, while admittedly tasty and presented in the normal eating bowls just isn't the same. Just look at me; staving away and skin and bones.

If I could be bothered, might complain or go hunting, but all this typing is hard on the claws (extended, I am so angry) so might have a nap instead.

But, how could they use the C word? They are very wrong are they not?

Human provided postscript; long message, but finally posting it while waiting for news about Queen T from the vet. She always stayed in and enjoyed food, and even stopped going out and hunting, but today didn't come in for breakfast (she normally sitting on my chest from about 7am). Vet will ring this evening after x-rays and other checks - hopefully just a tail break

hi frends! tis me, princess nova, best doggo ever!!! my hoomans say that i is naughty doggo though. i has been on two occasions, not given enuf brekfasts, and hav to find more food! this food i find is in mum-hooman bedroom, on the floor ready for me! i den go and lay down on mum-hooman bed, really cute and comfy! but apparent, i is naughty for this, because i not meant to go in this room without permission? and i jump over something called a gate? and the food i found, layed out perfect for me, was apparently something called 'the cats brekfast'. now frends, tell me, if this was the cats brekfast, why didn't he eat it? why did he go OUTSIDE instead?!? clearly he didnt want it. also, if i not meant to be in mum-hoomans bedroom, why door open? gate clearly is made to be jumped over. and why am sometimes i allowed in there, but only when other hoomans are in there? clearly, for these reasons, i cannot be naughty - i just doing what dogs must do! and i am a princess so clearly i am the best at doing those things!

Hi eberyone. Elsie here. Or is it Elsie Belsie Kit Kat? Or Ellie? Or baby girl? Or cutest kitty in the world? Or Ellie Bellie? I no longer answer (not that I eber really did) because there are so many names I get called dat I am not sure what my name is! Am I the cloaca?

Hello, I am Mookie. My staff says I have been dealing with a cold for weeks. I sneeze, I snot, I snort. It’s pretty miserable. However, I have been finding ways to maximize my creative expression and scientific expurriments during this trying time.

I have become a rocket scientist! I make snot rockets, shake my head, and fling them all over! Sometimes, I’ll climb on my human, look him right in the eyes, and sneeze directly into his beard! It’s absorbent, and a perfect landing pad.

Today, the human took me to the Pokey Place. He said we needed to get medicine. I sang the song of my people the whole way there in an attempt to get him to turn around and go home. It didn’t work.

Frens, they did many pokes. Borthole? Poked. Body? Manhandled. Murder mittens? Trimmed. White coat guy said I was a perfect patient and a “good girl.” Whatever. Ugh.

After a million forevers, we finally arrived home. I am currently camped out on the first floor of my condo, protesting the indignities I have suffered. I am also napping. So, protest napping. Anyways, AITC?

Here Blaze, magnificat, age 2. M. Hav Bruddr, Bingo, also age 2, but less magnificat IMHO.

Today meowmy hads to do sumfing callt Changing The Bed. I dunno, still luk lyk sames bed too mez. Ennyways. I decideds to do a help and a protecc. Greebles are tricksy things as we knows.

So I jumped on the bed and did a sniffsniffsniff and a bapbapbap and even a bitebitebite...topped off with a chewchewchew of the fings wot meowmy puttd on bed. Called "sheets". Meowmy did no appreciate this. Said Don't be silly there's no greeebles Blaze. And stop chewing my sheets Blaze. And finally, shockingly, move yourself Blaze you're stopping the sheet from moving....frens. I iz but a waif of a kitty. How darez meowmy insi...imp...say Iz weighty.

Meowmy clacker rite? No ne. I iz hepfull kitty, protecc from greebles

Hello frens it is I, Molly (6F mutt). My seestra (Puck, 13F tuxedo) did the horkhork noise and I went running and saw she left me a really big treat! Normally seestra hates me so I was so happeh she made me a treat that I culd nom!!!! I even let her finish the horkhork before I bothered her because I love my seestra even though she hates me. I cleaned up the noms right away and lickt the floor perfectly clean. I didn't wanna make seestra even more mad at me by rejecking the treat she give me!!

Every wun in the house should be happy, seestra because I ate her treat, me because I got extra noms, and mamas because the house be clean. But mamas say I am the cloacky because "that's so gross, Molly." Tell me, frens, AITC for taking treat seestra leave me AND making house clean for mamas? I do a good, right?