For context there have been many incidents since December where a coworker turned friend got upset and I'm tired of having to justify my actions and thoughts.

1. I planned an outing w/ her and our mutual friend. My coworker turned friend decides to invite 2 of her cousins and 3 children of one of her cousins whom I don't know. I got upset and wanted to bail bc I don't want to spend time w/ her family. We are not that close. Coworker turned friend got upset + tried to make me feel guilty for feeling being upset

2. Coworker turned friend got upset because she asked to ring in the new year with me at work. (I work 2nd shift hours) I agree. 1150pm I tell her our other coworkers who she knows are outside at work and wants to ring the new year in together. She gets upset and drives off bc she doesn't feel comfortable being w/ them and thought it was just going to be me and her.

3. Coworker turned friend got upset bc she greets me HNY the following day but I did not hear her so I didn't respond. I was sick so I really didn't hear anything and she speaks quietly. She texts me, "damn, it's like that? ignoring a sis?"

4. Company Christmas party. Coworker turned friend (let's call her D) and I arrive together but another coworker has saved me a spot at his table. I sat w/ him and told D to pull up some chairs at our table. She gets upset and claims that I left her. Mind you, she knows all the coworkers at this party so it's not like she's a stranger to everyone. She gets upset and chooses to sit at a table by herself.

5. She's an on call staff member at our job and recently started picking up same shifts as me. I don't really talk to her on the clock bc I have my own duties to complete and I'm pretty much in work mode. I do the same w/ others. I don't really socialize unless we're talking about work tasks. She gets upset that I'm ignoring her. In my defense I treat others at work the same way. I explain my logic to her and she continues to get upset and starts bringing up the past incidents (company christmas party, not hearing her when she greeted me HNY, the fact that I "bailed" on her on new years eve, the fact that I didn't wanna meet her family at an event /I/ planned)

I end up telling her that it's exhausting being her friend bc there's always a problem. She got defensive and says that my actions and choices are not fair to her. I'm tired of having to explain myself to her.

I'm at the point where I don't wanna be friends anymore. The way she argues w/ me makes me feel like I'm in a relationship w/ her and it shouldn't feel that way w/ someone who is only a friend.

During the past month I asked her multiple times to stop bringing up the incident from the party bc it's not like she couldn't have sat w/ us at the table. I even offered to pull up a chair for her if she didn't feel comfortable doing it herself. She knew who the rest of our coworkers were and used to work fulltime w/ them before she went on call, so it's not like they are complete strangers

I (28F) got married last summer and had a beautiful wedding. My dress was something I’ve dreamed of for years—custom-made, sentimental, and I loved it. I made sure it was preserved properly after the wedding because I wanted to keep it as a family heirloom.

A few days ago, my sister (31F) called me in tears saying that the wedding dress she ordered had been lost by the delivery company. She was absolutely devastated because her wedding is in a month, and she had no backup. She asked if she could borrow my wedding dress for her wedding.

At first, I was taken aback. I told her that my dress was really special to me and that I wasn’t comfortable letting her wear it. She said that I didn’t need it anymore, and I should be understanding since she was in a crisis.

I told her I wasn’t being unsupportive, but I couldn’t let her wear it. She started accusing me of being selfish and not caring about her wedding, and that I was basically holding onto a dress for “sentimental” reasons while she was in real need. I tried to explain that my reasons weren’t just about sentimentality, but she kept pushing.

Our parents got involved, and they’re now calling me unreasonable for not helping her out in her time of need. They think it’s just a dress and that I’m overreacting.

Now, I feel guilty because my sister is upset, but at the same time, I just don’t feel comfortable letting her wear it. AITA for refusing to lend her my dress?

Hey all, I was in a bar last week and I was having a good time with a friend. A lot of people interacted with us and we were all having a good time.

There was a moment where a few girls asked if they could sit with us. For context we were are both males. I did not really talk to their group, other than saying hi, and I was speaking to another girl about university and the states.

One of the girls from the group, was flirting with my friend I believe and earlier when they first sat down, my friend asked her what she thought of Australia day, and she said "Invasion Day... my parents invaded".

I understood the banter, but didn't mess with that, so already knew to not engage with them and avoid them.

At a certain point I was just sitting with the one girl from the group and myself, as my friend and her's went to get drinks seperately.

We started talking about skincare as she saw my lip balm on the table and made a lewd comment about me having it. I told her so you like my friend and she said yeah but was saying what he was wearing wasn't nice.

I asked her if she had a boyfriend and she said she was dating a guy, and I asked if her friends had boyfriends and she said yes, and I said oh it's probably best you don't sit with us, but I hope he pleases you (meant it as treats you well, BUT that is a bit weird to say) you and everything goes well.

She took offence and said "these aren't your seats" and said a few rude things I can't remmeber, I said "yes but we were here first this is our land, so you can piss off" basically taking a dig at what she said before.

About 20 minutes later, a member of staff came to me and pulled me aside. They explained I was reported as making an inappropriate comment to a few females and I had to leave. I was taken aback but said yeah of course, because I know better than to argue as it's a strict policy that bars need to enforce. When I was being escorted out I did explain there was a girl I told to girl to kick rocks when I found out she had a boyfriend, although I had been interacting with men/women all night and nobody had complained. I was pretty much sober as I don't like to drink much.

The staff that escorted me out apologised and said they felt uncomfortable doing that to me, and I said that they were being professional and it's fine. They said they would love to have me back but as a hard policy, any complaint is taken seriously. We exchanged names and that was it.

I am 99% sure this was why I was kicked out. Whether something was taken out of context is understandable, and to be honest I should have known better to be rude.

AITA for telling someone to piss off and getting kicked out, of was this blown out of proportion?

AITA for refusing to tell my friend where I got my bag?

So, this might sound silly, but it’s been bothering me, and I need some outside opinions.

I (let’s say 25M) recently bought a new bag. It’s a really nice bag—well-designed, stylish, and super affordable compared to the market price. I love it, and I think I got a great deal.

A few days ago, my friend (also 25M) saw me with the bag and complimented it, asking where I got it. I just laughed and said, “It’s a secret.” He jokingly replied, “Did you get it off the black market or something?” I shrugged it off but told him, “Do I look like someone who buys from the black market?” He seemed to notice the convo was going nowhere, so he changed the subject.

The next day, he brought it up again, saying he wanted a similar bag but in a different style and asked where he could find one. At that point, I told him, “Since you’re persistent, I’ll guide you to somewhere you might find something similar, but I really don’t like sharing my sources—so don’t ask why. I have my reasons.”

Now, here’s the thing—this friend has always been supportive of me and has dedicated a lot of energy and time to help me in life. But I just don’t like sharing where I buy my things. It’s just a personal thing. He seemed kind of annoyed but didn’t push further.

Now I’m wondering, AITA for refusing to tell him where I got my bag?

hey guys, this might be a long text but if you dont want to read it all its fine, basically I started going out with this guy lets call him Adam, Adam and I go to the same University and one day he sent me a request on instagram, we started talking and he asked me out, which I said yes but I started noticing many red flags in the way

I started to feel like I wasnt sure to be his girlfriend and I noticed that he also liked me a lot and talked about us being together, which I kindly told him that I preferred just being friends, he kept buying me flowers and stuff like that I guess to "persuade" me into being with him, also inviting me over to his house, etc.

he kinda didn't understand that I just wanted a friendship and would always invite me out and send me messages as if I was his girlfriend.

Heres when everything changes, my friend Lets call her Sofia, she basically always used to tell me that he used to text her to talk about me and to know how to do things right with me, for which I always told her to keep it chill because I dont want to be with him, basically Adam found out that my ex boyfriend is friends to one of his friends and because of this he got so mad at me and told me I was wasting his time which got me confused, to which my ex texted me saying that Adam kept asking him if he was my ex. Sofia told me that Adam and his friends were saying that Im a slut? but she was kinda giving him credit for being "the victim" in this situation for which I was confused because friends dont do that, I told her that Adam used to be really disrespectful and had a lot of red flags but Sofia kept telling me that I was in the wrong, we ended up fighting and endind the friendship. Also to add she used to body shame me for not having boobs, make jokes about my chronic illness (Type 1 diabetes which is genetic) and other bad things.

Two days later my ex texted me again saying that "youre going to be forever alone if you keep being and acting this way", I found out because a friend told me that Sofia said something to my ex portaing Adam as the "victim" in this situation. That hurt me a lot and I dont know how to feel about it. Also thank you if you read all the way to the end, I want to hear opinions about this.

I play overwatch with some of my friends. Friends A and B met a user who only plays Mercy. I joined in quick play but we went on a 15 game loss streak. It’s casual but it hit 2am so I said goodnight.

The next time we played, Friend C and D joined us. We played quick play, but Friend A started losing energy. Friend C asked what was wrong and Friend A said, ‘you want to know the problem is with you guys? You’re not good at all. You keep trying to flank when it’s not working.’

I don’t feel like friends should yell at friends over a video game. When I introduced Friend A and B to overwatch, we spent the first months losing a lot as they learned how to play. I replied, ‘it’s quick play. It’s hard for Friend C and D to poke, since they don’t know what cooldowns they’re poking out or what the characters do yet. Maybe we should teach them in the practice range.’ Friend A huffed, disagreed, and then it was weird till we logged off.

The next time we played- Friend A said the Mercy wanted to join and play the 6v6 mode. I asked who that was. Friend A said, ‘the Mercy that you hated.’ I said, ‘I don’t hate them (as they were kind), I just didn’t have fun playing with Mercy.’ Friend B agreed. Friend A said, ‘don’t make this political, hate/not liking is the same thing, it’s not that deep.’ To avoid Friend A’s yelling, I just said ‘okay’ and muted.

The same night, friend D told A to stop being a dick and that they’re learning. I texted D asking if they were okay after A was rude to them.

I reached out to Friend C too, to see if they were okay. After that, I decided to drop it. Friend A doesn’t have a lot of empathy, so it’s difficult to bring up issues that revolve around the effects of their words.

DAYS later, I was messaging someone in our groupchat. We talked about the transition from childhood-adulthood. Friend A added their input, but it was just a passive aggressive comment. I had dropped the overwatch thing so I thought A thought I was trying to ‘out-trauma.’ But- Friend D and our friend that doesn’t play overwatch messaged me about A’s reply in the chat and asked why they were rude.

I realized that it was about overwatch. Even though I felt anxious, I responded to A, asking them why they said that. What ensued was paragraphs upon paragraphs of text, ‘hypocrite, reaching out to my friends behind my back, grow up, you’re too sensitive-‘

At that point, the other people in the groupchat were disagreeing with them and calling them out.

I apologized to everyone about starting the mess in the groupchat, but I’ve been blocked on everything by A.

I (17 female) am friends with the guy at my school we'll call Guy (17 male) we've been friends for years. this summer before our senior year we were texting when he confessed. I was in shock and he was to, I quickly let him know I feel the same but asked if he could wait until graduation because I have a lot on my plate and because we're young I didn't feel like we could do much anyway, I wasn't ready. He agreed and it was settled. The first few months we're good, felt like I might not have been interesting enough though. I told a few people about the situation leaving out who he was, most said he'd get bored or find someone else, I knew it was possible but we have mostly the same feelings about relationships WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT LOVE IS, lol. Plus he only had one crush that year so I thought it was safe. I wanted to talk about the conversation over text every day but I never did scared, he didnt either, lack of communication leads to misunderstandings I guess. 2 or 3 months in I could feel a shift in how he acted more distant, I told myself I was overthinking. We're in the same friend group he was talking about this girl that was flirting with him, I was a bit confused but brushed it off, later he said he was flirting back, then HE WENT TO HER HOUSE. This was all in a week.

I quickly realized I have to get rid of these feelings. I cried for about a week eventually telling my friend what happened, She told me I wasn't crazy. Every time my brain thought about him I'd tell myself, he doesn't feel the same.We're still friends, I don't trust him with my feelings at least not that kind. I'm mad he gave me permission to feel. I hate how he was my comfort when I couldn't sleep just imagining him here made me feel safe, and now that's gone. I hate how he proved everyone right, I wish I could've gotten rid of these feelings cause they're just dead weight now.

It's been months I keep telling myself I'm over him then he creeps back in my thoughts. We're close friends we talk about everything, he's stopped talking about the girl, so IDK what that means, feel bad for him. We're graduating soon and I don't know if he still thinks our agreement is on or if I want him to. I'm just conflicted, I don't know what to feel and if my feelings are valid. I have feeling for him they're weaker I'm keeping them at arms length like I used to if we get together after graduation will he do this again?? He's going out of State back and forth, he'll probably find a girl just like him like the last. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm just disappointed and hopeful, I'm not sure he could even care about me the way I care about him. AITA/WIBTA???

My boyfriend 27 and I 22 are about to have our four year anniversary. BACKSTORY;The first year of our relationship, COVID hit and his babymomma refused to let him see his son for almost a year until he went to court and fought for visitation. He hated her and she was a bi*** to him. They broke up because she was bringing another dude to the house while my bf was at work a month after giving birth. When he got visitation, she was still with dude. During drop off and pick ups, it was a quick hello, how’s he been, goodbye. Until her and dude broke up.

Since then I’ve noticed her high pitched super nice talkative new self. He eats it up. They will talk and talk (about the kid, or about her family that he was close with, nothing particularly disrespectful). I know I should go with him and sometimes I do but I’m literally so socially awkward and uncomfortable it’s almost unbearable. Not to mention she’s outgoing, funny and prettier than me.

Fast forward to yesterday. She drops him off Fridays and we drop him back off on Sundays. We had a snowstorm and on the way here her car starts sliding. She calls my boyfriend crying saying she can’t make it, she’s so sorry she’s crying to him, and that she’ll text him when she gets home safe. Well I wish it was that quick. She had him on the phone crying for 10 minutes. He was so caring and calming and I understood because that’s his sons safety too. A little frustrating that she was on the phone for that long but I understood her situation. When she gets home she texts his repeating what happened. Ok that’s fine. Today, dropping him off my boyfriend went outside to get him and she proceeded to tell him a third time. And then hung around chitchatting for twenty mins. Way too long in my opinion for a drop off.

I kept my composure even tho I was screaming inside watching them from the window laughing. I didn’t want to ruin their day. (My bf and sons) an hour ago, i told my boyfriend I didn’t feel comfortable with her getting so comfortable with him. I cried. All he could say was he was sorry and he felt she overstayed her welcome too but that he was sorry. I told him it’s been happening a lot and all he just kept saying was truthfully just genuine apologies. In my mind that means nothing will change. Should it change? I know I’m jealous but I feel disrespected. I know he wouldn’t leave me for her but when I got into this relationship, I thought it was a coparenting relationship not a friendship. Is it disrespectful I have to even be saying this in the first place? AITA

Hi, I’d like some judgment on whether I was the asshole in this situation here. For some background, my BFF 16M and I 16F have been friends for a couple of years 4 years exactly. Last year, he got out of a toxic two-year relationship, and when we caught up in early January around the 2nd or 3rd we were talking about field trips and I sent him a picture of me and my classmates that's when, he showed interest in one of my classmates.

Before they even started talking, I told my BFF that I thought this classmate of mine 17F was a red flag. My reasoning was based on things I had personally heard them say. They would talk about guys in a way that felt dismissive, as if they were disposable. They also seemed to change their "type" or standards frequently and talked about different guys all the time and based on how they generally acted with their taking stage males. Because of that, I warned my BFF about her because I didn't want him to get hurt again, but I made it clear that it was ultimately his choice.

Despite what I said, he still decided to add them and started talking to them. Recently, though, things hit a rough patch because my BFF got really busy with school and didn’t have much time for her and they were on rocky terms the girl wanted to block him and just ghost him but I encourage her to talk with him and the topic of me telling my bff that she was a red flag came up and now she's blaming me because I ruined my bff's perspective of her and I butted myself into something I shouldn't have especially since I've only knew her for 5 months. Now, they’re no longer talking, and I can’t shake the feeling that it's truly my fault and if I didn't say anything at the start and just let them met without saying anything to my bff about what I thought they would be happy and still be talking.

So, AITA for warning my BFF before they even started talking? Did I overstep? Any advice on how I could fix this would be helpful.

I (26F) moved into an apartment in Florida with my college bestie (21F). I let her pick her room, so she took the master with an en-suite, and I got the smaller one. I also furnished most of the place, including putting a 75” TV in the living room.

A few months in, I got pregnant and decided to go home to give birth, but I kept paying rent since I planned to return. Before leaving, I moved my TV into my locked bedroom. She could still use everything else, but I did this because she gets careless when high or drunk—leaving keys in the door, passing out randomly, etc. I didn’t want my things stolen or damaged.

About a month later, she mentioned her brother was staying over. He was cool, so I had no issue with it. I was actually thinking of offering him my room since he was only staying a few days. But on FaceTime, I noticed a big TV in the background.

I asked, “Oh, you got a new TV?” She said no. “Did he bring one?” Again, no. Then she pans the camera and says, “Oh, we took yours out of your room. It just goes with the aesthetics.”

I said, “But my room was locked?”

She just shrugged. “I used a knife to get in.” Like it was nothing.

I blacked out, cussed her out, and ended the call. Then I asked my maintenance friend from the complex to check things out. It wasn’t just my TV—my room was messy, my locked bathroom had been broken into, and both she and her brother had been wearing my clothes.

I was livid. I called her, and she finally answered when I threatened legal action. She said it was selfish of me to put the TV in my room because they had nothing to use. Mind you, we both had TVs in our bedrooms.

At that point, I was done. I had my sister and a friend clear out my stuff while she was at work. Anything we bought together, I sent her half the money for—including the dining table, even though I was being petty when I took it. I also disconnected the electricity (didn’t want her running up a spite bill) and stopped paying rent.

Unfortunately, I lost the baby and returned earlier than planned. When I got back, the apartment was trashed. She had moved out, stopped paying rent, and now the delinquency is on both our credit reports.

Years of friendship gone, just like that. No apology, no accountability, no nothing. Just one FaceTime call, and that was it.

AITA for handling it this way? Should I have kept paying rent since moving in together was my idea?

So I, 19, saw on my tiktok two minors posting what they got from shein. Originally I thought nothing of it until two different things came up,

1. A puphood, two of them. One for each of them.
2. A pet play muzzle.

They posted a few videos in these, one doing quadrobics. (Which, if you didn't know is when you move around on all fours. Commonly done by therians.) They claimed it was for aesthetics and completely sfw. They mentioned they thought pup play was zoophilic so I started to get reactionary I'll admit. Now, this is where I could be the asshole as I said they shouldn't be posting in them as one is 14 and the other is around 15 or 16. They had said it was aesthetics and fashion but I didn't feel comfortable seeing a minor in one and thought the sexual background of the item made it unsafe for them to wear. I'm unsure if I'm the asshole because I made a post indirectly about them and their puphoods so that any other minor considering it didn't think it was ok. So did my friend(16M) (we've known each other since I was 15), they then dogpiled on my friend, 1 friend of theirs blasting their comments and one of them messaging them directly in a threatening manner. They blasted my friend's post on their story calling them a bad person. So I started to reconsider my action if we truly were crazy and puphoods could be sfw. My friend apologised and took the video down, I'm left confused about the situation. Was I genuinely the asshole?

Tldr: minors claimed their puphoods were sfw for aesthetics and I didn't agree.

I (21f) recently visited London with my friend (22m). We live in different cities and barely see each other irl (we met on a game 4 years ago and because of university I had to move closer).

So, my friend got ditched by his friends in London and he has asked his best friend (22f) and another friend of his (22f) to fly with him to London, before he had asked me. I agreed because we don't spend much more time with each other and I had never seen London before, hence never flew before.

When he picked me up from my boyfriend's house to drive to my home (he stayed the night because it was closer to the airport + free parking) I told him I was happy we are hanging out again. I just got an answer along the lines like „yeah.“ (he never said like „same“ „likewise“; Note: I am from germany, so this is partially just a translation)

During our stay I had planned everything through. He already had visited London like 2-3 times, so it was obvious that he was not so amazed by visiting The Big Ben for the third time as an example. But every time I asked him if he was fine with my plans and all, I got again just smth like „yeah, i guess“. I chose multiple places to eat and when I asked him if he liked the food/place I chose, again just something like „yeah. Was alright.“

We were out for dinner and I had told him about how I gave my BF a 2TB M2 SSD I had bought back then and never used it. I gave it to him when I build his PC. I was also a bit confused when he asked for my 1TB M2 SSD I had left (he knew about it) and when I asked for a price that he was willing to pay he just answered along the lines „driving you back? I actually don't have to go to your place usually so..“ I was like what? Boy, my parents brought us to the airport and are willing to pick us up from it what.

At the last day (we only stayed a weekend), he was NOW dedicated to get some cookies for his best friend (21f) I had mentioned before. They were for her FIL (they haven't even proposed to one another, so I was confused why would you call someone like that if it ain't the case but that's just my opinion). We went to 3 different grocery stores and I was absolutely fed up and pissed off because we could have done it on the 2 days before when I had planned everything instead of now when our flight was leaving in 5 hours.

We didn't get the cookies. No grocery store had em. But in the end the more I thought about the situations we had (there are more but they are repetitive), the more I actually felt upset. I didn't feel welcome at all and I already have asked my BF and a friend of mine if I am the asshole. I am also not sure if I should confront him or not because we once has a huge fight when he had sent me a paragraph text and from 5 things 4 were wrongly interpretated by his side and made me look bad af.

So, AITA?

I made a suggestive post without an NSFW tag recently and i saw a very concerning comment, a user claimed that he started jerking off on a train uncontrollably and that people started saying things like "what the fuck" and "call the police" this also caused him to drop his phone on the floor allowing all the men on the train to see the image. Apparently the entire train started jerking it to this one image and he went on a rant about how i should have tagged it NSFW, AITA?

(Seeing how half the page is now ai generated this shouldn't hurt anyone)

I'm 20F, my boyfriend is 23M. We've been together two years and live together. A few months ago, we were about to get evicted because we couldn't pay rent. He were working overtime, but it wasn't enough, and I couldn't find a job that paid enough to help. We didn't have family to bail us out, so I was desperate. had already talked with my bf about if I should but I made it seem like a joke. He told me flat out he didn't want me doing that and was super stern about it. So when I did start selling I didn't tel my boyfriend because I knew he wouldn't be okay with it. But I didn't see another way to keep us from getting kicked out. For a few months, I told him my aunt sent me money to help with rent. He believed it and was really happy but last night he went through my phone and found out. We've been arguing about it all day and I feel terrible. He got really mad and said I betrayed his trust. He said I should've talked to him instead of doing it behind his back but if I talked to him he wouldve never let me. I get why he's upset, but I feel like I didn't have a choice. I don't make a crazy amount of money but it's just enough so we van afford our expenses. He said he wants me to stop posting but 1 think should keep posting until were at a better spot. 1 wasn't trying to hurt him or be sneaky I just didn't know what else to do. I know it wasn't the best move, but I didn't know what else to do since we were stuck. Was I wrong to do it behind his back, or was it kind of justified because of the situation?

So me (18M) and my girlfriend (18F) has been together a just over a year now, and we both have eachothers phone passcodes. Early on in the relationship I've established that I don't agree with obsessing with celebrities or saving videos of someone you find attractive on social media if you have a partner - she agreed and didn't have a problem with this. A couple times however I've found her doing this. One time she thought I was asleep, she was on her phone and I saw she had a bunch of thirst traps saved (all of the same actor). When I pretended to wake up she deleted them as quick as she could which I found very odd, because now it seems she's trying to hide it.

That was half a year ago, but yesterday whilst she was sleeping, I went on her Tiktok. Initially I went on it to troll a mutual friend of ours, I was going to send them a silly message but then I saw that my girlfriend had been sending this friend thirst traps of that same actor from before saying things like "Silent repost because my boyfriend would be upset" or "I fear I would fall for this man but don't tell my boyfriend I said that". I felt so disrespected because she's actively trying to hide it, and this is something she KNEW I would be upset by. Anyways, I then went through her favourited videos and as I thought, a bunch of thirst traps and edits of the same guy over and over again. I know people are going to say "You violated her privacy, you clearly didn't trust her in the first place" but we've given eachother our passcodes so I don't think it's that problematic, she could've gone through my phone too. Let me know if that's a wrong way of thinking.

I confronted her and she smiled and laughed and said "you've made yourself sad now why would you do that". She saw I wasn't happy and changed her demeanor, and said she didn't know what to say. We talked and I said how I felt betrayed, she crossed a boundary and how I thought it was disgusting that she was fully aware she was doing something I wasn't comfortable with and tried to hide it. We didn't get into an argument, we were laying in bed saying things individually, taking long pauses to think of what to say, no shouting just calm discussion.

When she got home, her parents asked why she was upset and she told them the situation but her parents are very angry at me for going through her phone in the first place, and said that I didn't trust her. She also texted me saying she also thought the same thing but didn't want to tell me when we were hanging out because she didn't want to make the situation worse. I haven't told her I wasn't even planning on going through her phone in the first place but rather just wanted to troll that friend of ours. I know that I should've just left it at that and ignored the videos she sent, rather than going through her favourites.

I just want opinions on the situation, am I the asshole for having gone through her phone, or am I right in saying she's in the wrong for having crossed a boundary?

Hit me with your judgments please, Reddit. I (40sF) am close friends with a woman who is in an abusive relationship. He is rude, controlling and an AH. He dislikes when she goes out without him, guilt trips her, they often have screaming arguments and recently they split after a particularly bad argument (I won’t go into detail because of Reddit rules), but they reunited after a few days. Today I invited her and her son to a birthday party for my son. She responds asking if BF and his daughter from a previous relationship can come too. I said no. One, because we only have a budget for so many children to attend, my son has chosen who he wants there and neither my son or I have ever met this girl. Two, because I don’t want BF there. She immediately tell me that’s not nice, and that they don’t have to eat any food and could just come for the fun. I still refused. If she refuses to come without him, that’s her decision. I just don’t want to deal with his attitude or their potential drama at my child’s birthday. AITA?

So my roomie cooks A LOT and every time we run the dishwasher it's 95% their dishes and maybe 2-3 of mine. They also jam pack it full such that I get very nervous about breaking or scratching their (nice and probably expensive) dishes. It feels like playing dish Jenga every time. I want to note that part of my disability includes motor control and balance so I'm doubly afraid of that happening.

Of note, my roommate is extremely organized and has a system for everything including dishes. I don't necessarily understand how they want their things stacked in the cupboard. There are heights involved that make me nervous as it is much harder to maintain balance and coordination when I'm reaching above me or trying to balance on a ladder. I am also just deeply traumatized by the sound of dishes clanging as, if I used to make audible noises I would get abused and I will never be 100% over that. I am not willing to tell this to them beyond "this makes me viscerally uncomfortable but bc I only rarely touch them it's okay how it stands." It is minimal discomfort as is but that would be different if I had to get theirs, too.

They typically just empty theirs and put the few that are mine on my pantry shelf. I am not exaggerating a bit when I say that it is 2 or 3 dishes. I mean 2 or 3. I only own one plate, two usable cups, two bowls, and two tupperware. I cannot recall a single time I washed all at once. Again, two or three things and I don't care how or even if they're put up.

This time, I actually had like 5-6 dishes and a bunch of silverware so because it wasn't just a very small amount I decided to take mine out and not burden them with it.

Well, I woke up to a text saying that leaving their load of dishes for them to put up themselves was "rude" and "douchey."

We agreed to handle our own dishes from now on, which means I will be putting up my 3 dishes. This is a nonproblem to me.

Am I the asshole here for not putting theirs up?

Why I may be the asshole:

They usually put mine up even if it's 2 or 3 pieces. They may have seen me putting theirs up as the same amount of labor and therefore a favor I owe back to them. If this is the case then it would be rude for sure.

Ok, so I 15F just started my last year of high school. I know I’m young to be graduating, but I skipped a couple of grades, and my birthday is coming up soon. Since I’m in a new class with people who don’t know me, I’ve just been telling them I’m 16. It’s not a huge lie since I’ll be 16 soon, and I didn’t want to go into the whole explanation of skipping grades. Most of my classmates are 16 or 17 turning 17 or 18, so saying I’m 16 didn’t seem like a big deal to me. On the first day of school, I was late to one of my classes and had to sit at a table with a group of guys. At first, I was nervous, but they were really nice and made me feel comfortable. We started talking, and at some point, we talked about our ages. I told them I was 16, and they moved on for the subject. We’ve been in school for about a month now, and the other day, I casually mentioned that my birthday was coming up. One of them asked what I would be doing for my 17th and I corrected him, saying I was actually turning 16. I didn’t think much of it but they all looked uncomfortable and surprised. It got tense, but I just brushed it off as them being shocked that I was actually 15. Then a couple of days ago, one of them pulled me aside and told me I should have been upfront about being 15 because it meant I wasn’t of consenting age. I found that really weird because none of them had ever shown any romantic interest in me. He even told me I was an asshole for “leading them on” and making them think I was 16 and older. I told him I didn’t see how it mattered since I wasn’t flirting with anyone, and if someone had shown interest in me, I would have told them my real age because I don’t want any of them to get in trouble. Since then, they’ve all been acting weird around me. They still talk to me, but it’s not the same as before.

Am I the asshole?

I'm a male 24 and have a female 23 friend who genuinely loves me. We both recently got out of a pretty messed up relationship with our partners and we met each other through my ex. They were best friends but had a falling out due to the toxicity of my ex. Skipping a couple years to our more recent interactions and we've both separated from our partners and afterwards had a one night stand that I mostly regret. We were both incredibly affection starved and pretty neglected by our exs. She has a litany of medical and mental issues such as fnd, tics, bipolar disorder, seizures, and more. My ex used to fake having some of these which gave me more of an annoyed reaction to them. (Hers are very real which makes me feel bad about becoming annoyed by them and likely where my ex thought about faking them.) But she lately has been relying on me for attention, love, affection, everything. Saying she needs me, tries to put me on her emergency lists for medical issues, want to hang out or call everyday, and tells me she loves me. I'm still very much not over my ex and it's a struggle to deal with that aspect in general but combined with everything it's overwhelming. I feel like a deplorable person for even thinking about blocking or distancing but I don't want any of this currently or maybe even ever. I can barely keep my own mental in check let alone someone of her magnitude. I just want to be left alone until I'm mentally ready to be able to go about life again. I often ignore her to just remove myself from the situation and get some peace back.

My (21F) boyfriend (23M) and I have been together for 7 months. Since September, we’ve been having arguments that escalate more than needed, mostly due to him being drunk at the time. When we have argued, he would say hurtful things to me and then the next morning apologize for it. I would say that he would drink atleast 4 days a week to the point of him feeling the effects of alcohol or some of those nights he would finish an entire 12 rack in one night and then drink to get drunk/tipsy the next day or a day later.

After one of the arguments we had a conversation about everything and the way that it was affecting our relationship and he promised that he would cut back and only drink in a social setting, spoiler alert, didn’t happen.

The most recent argument we had was a little less than a month ago and hurtful things were once again said. We had the same conversation and the same promise was made. So far, I see the same pattern happening again as last time. His drinking makes me extremely uncomfortable and anxious because of the arguments and things that were said in the past. Would I be the asshole if I essentially gave him an ultimatum, and seriously stood by it?

Basically the title. I [25M] am gay and was raised in a Jewish synagogue that thankfully was welcoming to gay people. My SIL [28F] joined the family officially about a year ago. She is Catholic, my parents aren’t super excited about the interfaith marriage with my brother so she rarely brings it up at family gatherings but on Sunday morning she sneaks away to church on her own.

I’m hoping to get married soon and recently talked to my SIL about it. I asked her what Catholics think of gay marriage out of curiosity and she said this

SIL: “Well, in the Catholic view gay marriages and relationships aren’t valid but there are some churches that welcome gay people, and many Catholics support civil protections for gay people even if the religion doesn’t allow it” (paraphrased)

Me: “but they’re fundamentally against gay marriage and think gay people are sinners?”

SIL: “Yes [??? what omg] but it’s sort of important to catholic theology [🙄] that relations are between one man and one woman and only in marriage. Couples who sleep together before marriage are committing the same kind of sin. So the church isn’t very supportive of gay people but they’re also unsupportive of many kinds of relationships, it’s pretty strict by todays standards”

Me: “And you support giving your time and money to this even though you have a gay BIL”

SIL: “Yes I’m catholic and i think it’s correct. But it’s your right to not be catholic and you don’t have to adhere to church law, i don’t personally agree with the lifestyle [🙄🙄🙄] but i’m glad we live in a culture where we can coexist without infringing on each other”

(etc.)

The “lifestyle” comment really set me off and I called her out in front of the family for supporting a corrupt institution not only responsible for abusing thousands of children but forcing hundreds of thousands of people like me into so much pain by coerced into being straight. She left halfway through dinner and my family is uncomfortable, but frankly i’m uncomfortable having someone who supports homophobia in the family even if they think they’re “coexisting”.

tl;dr: SIL is part of homophobic catholic church and i asked her if she supported homophobia, she basically said yes. AITA for doing this in front of my family

My sister (23F) asked to borrow my car for the weekend because hers is in the shop. Normally, I’d say yes, but the last time she borrowed it, she returned it with a massive scratch along the side, the interior was a disaster (think empty fast food bags, coffee spills, and mud everywhere), and she didn’t even bother to clean it. She apologized but never offered to cover the $300+ it cost me to fix the scratch and deep-clean the car.

This time, I said no. I told her I didn’t feel comfortable lending her my car again after what happened last time. She got super upset, called me selfish, and said I was overreacting because “it’s just a car.” She even brought up how family should help each other out no matter what. Now my parents are involved, and they’re siding with her, saying I should give her another chance because “everyone makes mistakes.”

Here’s where I’m torn: I feel like I’m being reasonable by setting boundaries, but my family is making me feel like I’m being overly harsh. I get that family is important, but I also feel like she needs to take responsibility for her actions. Plus, my car is my responsibility, and I can’t afford to keep fixing it every time she borrows it.

So, Reddit, AITA for refusing to let my sister borrow my car again? Should I just suck it up and let her use it, or am I right to stand my ground? I need some honest opinions here because this is causing a lot of tension in my family.

I (25F) met this guy (28M) online. We chatted a bit over text, he seemed decent, engaging and pretty knowledgeable about a wide range of topics. He mentioned a girl BFF, and showed me a picture of her. At that time, I did not think much of this as we had only been texting for a week.

We met for lunch, he seemed a little nervous (but so was I), and I wouldn’t fault anyone for having some first meet-up jitters. He wanted to split the cost of the meal, which was fine by me. We talked for a bit, and continued to meet a few times. Sometime later, we got together officially, although I had some lingering doubts.

He invited me to his church, and I agreed. I used to attend a church when I was much younger, and open to the religion even though my faith wavered due to life events. I’m a firm believer of being involved in a partner’s life, and got him to share stories of his church. This was when things started to get strange. He said he was banned from the church, because two girls had been fighting over him and their brother had to intervene. He also mentioned that the girl was overreacting by calling the brother in. Over the course of the relationship, he kept mentioning girls he would meet at food shops that were flirting with him, although from what he relayed it seemed like normal conversation. I stupidly brushed it off once again; it seemed like he was somewhat joking about the encounters. We had a few arguments here and there; I yelled at him once because he would not listen to my concerns (he showed up at my house a few times unannounced, after I repeatedly told him not to).

We met each other’s parents, and then things took an even stranger turn. My mother, him and I was present at the lunch together, and after the lunch he asked for my mother’s name. I obliged because I knew his mother’s name and thought it was harmless.

The next day, he showed up at my mother’s workplace unannounced, for lunch (my mother is in a public facing role, so her details are online). My mother was not around, and he tried again the following day. My mother was bewildered and avoided him, and told me about this. I asked him why he had done so and he said that my mother had invited him to a private lunch - I then checked with my mother, who denied this. I was present the entire time my mother and him interacted, and I was sure my mother did not lie. I asked him again and again where he had gotten this idea, and he refused to answer.

I reverse Google searched the image of his girl BFF, and it turned out to be a picture of an online influencer.

I blocked him and broke up with him. He is now saying that I have mental issues/overthinking.

Did I overreact or overthink this?

So, a little background: I (28F) have been dating my fiancé, Jake (29M), for 3 years. We’re planning to get married next year, and I’ve been dreaming about our wedding for ages. I’m not the type to be super controlling, but I’ve had my heart set on one thing: a surprise proposal during the annual family reunion. It’s a tradition in my family for someone to propose at this event, and I’ve always thought it would be the perfect setting for Jake and me. We talked about it, and Jake was all in—he even started planning the perfect proposal for me, involving a personalized speech, fireworks, and my favorite band playing in the background.

Here’s where the drama starts. My best friend, Emily (30F), is also getting married this year. She and I have been best friends since high school, and I thought we were on the same page when it came to supporting each other’s weddings. But here’s the thing: a month ago, Emily found out about Jake’s proposal idea. I don’t know how she got the details—maybe from one of our mutual friends—but suddenly, she’s telling me she’s also planning a surprise proposal at the family reunion, using the exact same idea.

She said she’d always wanted to do it there, too, and she “didn’t realize it was such a big deal” that we were planning our proposals at the same event. I was shocked. I had been so excited to have that special moment, and now it was all ruined. I tried talking to her about how it was really important to me, but she brushed me off and said, “I’m sorry, but it’s not like it’s a competition.” She then basically told me I should “just be happy for her” and that I was being “too dramatic” over something that was “just a proposal.”

I felt like she was stealing my moment, so I decided to do something about it. I might’ve gone a little overboard, but I got petty. I secretly emailed the family reunion coordinator and let them know that I had a “special surprise” for the event, but I needed them to “move the proposal spot” and “ensure no one else proposes there.” I also told a few of the key family members to make sure they were “in the loop” and ready for my proposal.

When Emily showed up to the reunion with her fiancé, expecting to propose at the spot (the place Jake and I were planning for), she found it roped off, with all our family members standing around, waiting for my proposal. She was absolutely furious. She tried to scramble and find another spot, but it was all awkward and out of place. To make matters worse, during the actual proposal, Jake had this beautiful speech prepared that everyone loved, and Emily had to awkwardly stand by, completely sidelined.

She’s now not speaking to me, and our friendship is on the rocks. She’s telling everyone I sabotaged her wedding, and I’ve gotten messages from mutual friends saying I went way too far. Some think I was just defending my special moment, but others think I was incredibly petty and should’ve just let it go.

So, AITA for sabotaging my friend’s wedding proposal because she “stole” mine?

I'm a 27f. My 30M bf wants to buy a new Toyota Supra which in my opinion, is a useless car which serves no purpose other than going fast. I want him to buy us a bigger SUV so when family comes to visit every now and then we have a bigger car to fit everyone. We don't have any kids yet, but when the time comes I want us to be prepared. We currently have a 2019 Chevy Equinox, and he drives a 2005 Toyota Camry. I would like him to buy us a new Ford Expedition. We live in a MCOL area, he makes $180k/yr gross and I make $65k/yr gross.

My bf says he deserves a new car for working so hard the past couple of years by paying off all our debt, (He had 8k in CC debt and I had 20k in CC debt, and 45k in student loans.) He also maxed out his 401k, his IRA and putting 45k in our emergency fund which is in his HYSA. He said that he saved up $28k as a down payment for it. I told him that it would be stupid and selfish to buy himself a new car when we need a bigger vehicle that it would be better to put it down on a new SUV. He suggested that he could buy a new Supra and that he could buy us a used Expedition. Which is a slap in the face, like why does he get buy himself a new car but I have to settle for a used car? I cant afford to buy myself a new Expedition, he also doesn't want us paying $2k/mo in car payments if he decided to buy 2 new vehicles.

AITA?

My wife invited some friends of hers over to hang out as they had to be somewhere near our home 4-5 hours later and they live a short while from where they needed to be. She called me shortly before they all arrived, but didn’t communicate to me they were staying for the remainder of the afternoon and early into the evening. Whilst normally I wouldn’t mind too much, I’ve had a long week and was wanting to have a quiet day to myself at home. Despite this I was happy to feed them lunch, and make conversation. Previously, there were times I’d had a friend over and I’d only see him a couple times a year. He’d often be keen to stay and hang out after an event we’d host at our home, but my wife would immediately ask when he’s leaving even though we’d be quiet and would generally just chat quietly. Just for context she did get along quite well with my friend, and he was and remains to be the only friend I’ve ever really had come over. AITA here?

I’m an 18-year-old female. My best friend, Sarah, started dating someone online a few months ago, and it has changed our relationship dynamic. We've been arguing frequently due to misunderstandings.

I asked her parents if I could fly up to see her for her birthday, and they paid for the tickets despite my offer to cover it myself. However, Sarah told me she planned to spend most of her time on the phone with her boyfriend and might kick me out of her room. This made me reconsider the trip, as I wanted to visit her, not just be a third wheel.

After a misunderstanding, she clarified that she would call him during downtime and spend holidays with him, which seemed fair. We hung up, but then her boyfriend texted me (he already had my number) about Sarah having a bad day and said my uncertainty about visiting made it worse. I felt this was inappropriate and told him to mind his business. Sarah then told me I couldn't speak to him that way and that she had given him permission to text me the message.

I was shocked and explained that he crossed a boundary. She responded that her business was his, which made me feel disrespected. I had her parents cancel my tickets, but I expressed gratitude for their support. I felt uncomfortable visiting, especially with the potential for further arguments and disrespect for my boundaries.

Sarah defended her boyfriend, saying he was just trying to help and that she really wanted me there for her birthday. She was upset that I won’t be there, expressing that it hurt her deeply, especially since she had fought her dad for months to be able to visit me (though he ultimately said no). I reminded her that I had to remind her about my own birthday during a busy time when she was moving.

She said it will take a long time for her to get over the hurt of me choosing not to visit.

I think I might be the asshole because at the end of the day it is her 18th birthday and I don’t want her to hold this over my head.

I don’t want to be in an environment where I might argue again, and I’d rather focus on my own life and obligations. Given the situation, do you think I did anything wrong? AITA for canceling my trip to see my best friend for her 18th birthday?

I (28F) work as a teacher but I prefer to work as a substitute, I usually always find a job.

Unfortunately, last year I wasn't as lucky and I only found a job for 1 month so I had to relay on my savings.

Even worse, last year around Nov, I had a seizure while sleeping and eventually got diagnosed with epilepsy. Just las week I got cleared out of the possibility of the epilepsy being caused by a tumour.

Anyway, my treatment is free but I do have to take double transport to be able to get my meds and to be able to attend my appointments. So it's around 5 dollars every trip and I also must pay my phone. Luckily, my uncle and brother are covering for utilities while I'm not working. We've always lived together and I used to be the primary breadwinner.

Anyways, my friend group (27F, 27F, 31F) are used to being able go out to eat or just hangout at least 3 times a month or so and at least one of those outings is a 2 to 3 days slumberparty. When we go out we spend from 20 to 30 dollars each and when we stay the night it's at least 20 to 50.

This never bothered me when I had a regular source of income. I love my friends and I love to spend time with them.

Last year we actually got to meet up twice as much (and spend twice as much). I thought it was nice until the months passed and I couldn't find a job and then the diagnosis happened.

I admit that after Sept (the only month I worked) every time I said yes to an outing I did so reluctantly because I knew that the chances of finding work then were close to 0 and my savings were almost non existing by that point. My friends did notice and in one occasion one of them berated me for it.

At this point I worry that I will only have money for the 30 days of work before my pay check (if I find a workplace close to home), and the next 3 hospital runs.

I don't have money for more outings I simply don't.

Last month I gathered the courage to tell this to my friends when they wouldn't take no for an answer, and after being ghosted for a week they told me that they'd come to my house so I wouldn't have to spend money. Cool right?

Yesterday my bestie asked in the group chat (without consulting me first) if everyone was free so the visit could turn into a slumberparty. I said no, my house doesn't have the enough beds for that.

So, suddenly my other friend offers her house and then she also says that after that we can go to an anime convention and then to eat.

I haven't responded. I'm tired of repeating myself, I don't have money (and I'm still not comfortable with sleeping over after having a seizure in my sleep).

My friends act as if I'm being difficult. Am I being difficult? I swear I'll go back to normal when I get a job. AITA?

I (f22) was in bed laying next to my boyfriend (M24) who currently has the flu. A raging headache as well, so I turned the brightness down on my iPad, turned the volume off and put my phone down since he wanted me to come to bed with him

He got up and started huffing and puffing in the kitchen, I assumed he was looking for medicine.

He came back into the bedroom and took the nightlight we had and ripped it out of the wall. I said “you didn’t have to do that” he said “MY F* HEAD HURTS BUT ITS NOT LIKE YOU GAF OR WANT TO HELP”

I said: “what do you want me to do?”

“MAYBE GET ME SOME F*ING PILLS OR SOMETHING”

I said “you didn’t ask for help”

I got up to sleep on the couch and he hit the wall and because it hurt so bad

then came into the living room and proceeded to get mad at me for coming out here, claiming I’m angry but I really am not.

I told him nothing was wrong I just didn’t want to bother him but I didn’t want to go to bed yet, he said whatever and slammed another door and walked away

Am I missing something? Did I do something wrong?? Should i have helped him when he got up? Im so confused!!

So I've got a long distance relationship going on, and we have been communicating pretty fluently every day. This past week I got a pretty bad flu that had me on bed most of the time with a lot of pain, sleeping A LOT and bad humour as a consequence too, so I was not being able to find it in myself to be as talkative as usual. My gf took that horribly and for her this was like a major crisis in our relationship, I guess she even thought of breaking up because to her the fact that I was not as talkative as usual (being sick wasn't that big of an excuse for her it seems) was a sign of us fading, not getting along well or that I didn't care enough about her (I've told her that I've already been talking to her more in months than like friends of mine on entire years and I'm extremely asocial so that's very difficult for me too). She usually says that in her group of friends (they're like 5 I think) there's always a message or something going on and it kind of annoys here that I alone am not giving her that experience as well.

I'm a lot better now from the sickness, in a way better mood too of course, but because of this situation this has made our interactions very awkward and for me this is difficult because I feel that if I'm not sending her an audio or something every half an hour or something she's overthinking it again and it's making our conversations forced and weird and I just don't feel comfortable talking to her because of her expectations of how we should be talking. Some hours ago she like started sending a message every hour if I don't reply because I'm doing whatever or don't feel like replying at that moment. And it really feels like this is getting a bit too much. AITA here for not being communicative enough with her? Do people normally communicate that way in relationships (I'm not that experienced in those either)?