Female-written romance stories revolve around multiple suitors for a woman protagonist to tame. She usually selects the most Alpha among them – usually the one who’s a misunderstood Beast to everyone but her.

Male written romance generally centers on a hapless Beta male (with a heart of gold) who, through extraordinary circumstance, is placed in a position of outperforming all of his rivals. His exceptional performance gets him his dream girl, or the girl he “should really be with” instead of the shallow girl he thought would be so great. Instead of selfishly abusing his newfound Alpha superpowers by kicking sand in the faces of lesser Betas, he fashions himself as the heroic example of how Betas should act if they find themselves in similar empowerment. The stories of Spider-Man, Captain America, and Back to the Future all follow these Beta male-romance scripts to the letter. In every story, the Beta-with-a-chance has to teach the bully a lesson before he can qualify for the girl’s attention and intimacy. This clichéd story arch manifests men's internal acknowledgment of the male Burden of Performance. While I can’t assert this is an intrinsic part of men’s mental firmware, I have to speculate that the fantasy of fulfilling it is part of men’s innate need to perform for women’s intimate approval. Regardless, the objective purpose is still to “get the girl.” Examples of this Alpha bully archetype are part of most men’s formative learning. Not all men learn the lesson of the bully (some play the role with relish), but if we hold to the Pareto Principle 80/20 rule of the Manosphere, we’re statistically looking at around 80% of (Beta) men who do. From grade school, to high school, to college, that guy, the douchebag, the guy who can’t help but actively or passively draw attention to himself, becomes the alpha man of the group who gets all the girls– and damned if he’s not the most obnoxious bastard you know.st obnoxious bastard you know. I’m highlighting that guy because, more often than not, he’s less a natural person and more a manifestation of the anxiety that results from men’s insecurity about measuring up to female approval. It’s easy to poke fun at the guys you see on social media because they’re representations of the bully you hate. They’re the jerks that every woman loves, and every “normal” guy tries to make women understand are the worst possible romantic option for them.

Foot-in-the-Door Technique (video link) is based on the idea that people like to be consistent with their previous actions and beliefs. If you can get someone to agree to a small request, they are more likely to agree to a bigger request later, because they don't want to change their mind.

For example, let's say you want to borrow your friend's car for a weekend trip. If you ask them directly, they might say no, because it's a big favor to ask. But if you first ask them to lend you their car for an hour to run an errand, they might agree, because it's a small and reasonable request. Then, after you return the car, you can ask them to lend you their car for the weekend, and they are more likely to agree, because they already agreed to the smaller request before.

Here are some tips on how to use the foot-in-the-door technique effectively:

• Make sure the first request is small and easy to agree to. It should be something that the other person would normally do, or something that benefits them as well.
• Make sure the second request is related to the first one, and not too extreme. It should be something that the other person might consider doing, or something that is in line with their values or goals.
• Make the second request soon after the first one, while the other person is still in a compliant mood. Don't wait too long, or they might forget or change their mind.
• Be polite and grateful for the first request, and express your appreciation for the second one. Don't act like you are entitled to the favor, or pressure the other person to agree.
• Be prepared to give a good reason for the second request, in case the other person asks why. Explain how it will help you, or how it will benefit them as well.

These are some ways of how you can use the foot-in-the-door technique to get someone to agree to bigger requests. But remember, this technique is not a magic bullet, and it might not work on everyone or every situation. Some people might refuse the first request, or the second one, or both. Some people might realize what you are doing, and feel manipulated or annoyed. So use this technique wisely, and ethically.

At the height of trance, hypnosis can seem like magic. The words the hypnotist speaks at the height of trance are not complex at all- they just say ‘and you will stop being afraid of spiders,’ and the person in trance is no longer afraid of spiders.

This is possible because hypnotists know something simple which will transform the way you communicate for the better: Use your influence to get more influence.

Professional persuaders spend a majority of their time trying to package and deliver their message to the audience, but hypnotists spend 80% of their time preparing the audience to receive the message, deliver it directly with no packaging, and get 10x the results.

This is possible because there are evolutionary triggers, learned scripts, and specific mind states which are more open to receiving communication and creating growth.

Here’s the complete list:

• Communication channels
• Benefit
• Authority
• Relaxation
• Focus
• Social consensus
• Trust/Exposure
• Similarity
• Obvious truths
• Understanding
• Dissociation
• Narrative
• Commitment

Using your influence to get more influence means that we go from one of these levers to another. For example: A hypnotist talking to a prospective client might begin by saying that everyone knows hypnosis is incredibly powerful, (social consensus -> benefit) and that people who can focus get a lot more out of their sessions, (benefit -> focus) so would you like to give the woman at the front desk your information so we can schedule a session sometime? (accumulated influence -> new communication channel)

The client’s contact information is another channel for influence, and the exposure and positive experience of the first interaction builds trust. When the client comes back for the session, the chairs are comfortable to allow relaxation, the rooms are quiet to allow focus, and the hypnotist is shown deference by the staff. (social consensus -> authority)

Before the hypnotist begins, they ask about the client, show understanding through active listening, note similarities they share, and then begin trance, telling the subject explicitly to relax and focus, delivering a benefit, building trust, and at the end of the session asking for a commitment to future sessions.

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This mental model helped me significantly in understanding selling and influence and I hope it helps you as well!

Dear People,

Im in the very special point on my path - finishing my formal education and working on the MA thesis. It’s so exciting! As a part of my research I’m taking into consideration spiritual experiences of the mankind - as I believe that this topic is not explored enough in the modern science. If you choose to help me possibly discover something and make an impact - I’d be forever grateful. Cheers!

https://warsawpsy.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_4I07pGEGLvyy5BY