So I’m in a bit of a dilemma. For privacy’s sake, I don’t want to go too much into detail but my husband has a somewhat different job working for himself. He’s been pretty successful at it, and has been offered a deal where he needs to go out of town for a conference for 3-4 days. He’s being offered an amount that’s impossible to say no to. Like…. What people make in a year for a couple days work. (I’m realizing this sounds kind of sketchy but I promise it’s not and everything is very legal and normal). The issue is that I’ll be almost 35 weeks when he’s scheduled to go. I know it’s unlikely for me to go into labour but it’s not impossible either. At first I said I had no issue with it but the more I think about the more anxious I’m getting. I’ve had some issues with gestational hypertension but it’s currently controlled and my numbers have been perfect. No signs of pre-e and otherwise everything has been perfectly healthy. I guess I’m asking if you were in this situation what would you do? Am I silly for worrying when I’ll still be 34 weeks? It is only a couple days but the what if’s are creeping in.

I'm 19w and I'm suffering badly with depression. I don't have the enthusiasm to do things, I don't want to see my partner and I'm constantly miserable. I cry regularly and I feel overwhelmed by my decision, at many times regretting it. I told my partner I regret keeping it and he said it was too late, I had to deal with it and told me it was wrong to say things like that.

I had been daiting my partner for only 2 months when I found out. We do not live together and I have done everything on my own up to this point with no support. I live abroad and have no close family or friends nearby. I've tried to remain as active and as normal as possible and do normal things, but it's hard and I've been exhausted. I have a stable job with an OK leave policy.

Pregnancy is a living hell for me I didn't know it would be this hard...

8 weeks pregnant and my husband and I had sex tonight. Afterwards I had a good bit of brownish discharge? Has anyone else ever had that? I feel okay… just took me by surprise. It looked like what usually comes before my period. Just very thin watery brown discharge. Idk.

Had a bottle of perfume spill and stink up my wooden cabinet in my bedroom. I didn’t know about it for weeks because I have my regular perfume on my vanity and the other ones are in a closed cabinet. Anyway, I cleaned out the cabinet but now I smell this strong perfume smell. I opened the window, but I’m sleeping here and I feel like the entire house now smells like this perfume. I’m worried this is harmful. Anyone?

im at 33 weeks and a couple of days ago my boobs were REALLY itchy, like it's unbearable. well i noticed that there are little red bumps everywhere on my boobs, underneath, tops, sides. has anyone else experienced this? i don't know what to do.

(21F)

My doctor has told me twice now that ideally I shouldn’t gain much more than 20lbs throughout my whole pregnancy, which matches what Google says but I just don’t know how much I like those numbers.

I’ve been as mindful as possible about being active and trying to have a well rounded diet.

I’m a few days shy of 24w and I’ve gained 17lbs so far, but I don’t feel unhealthy. I try to go on walks when I can (1.5-2miles) and I try to do light weight lifting but some days it’s hard to find the energy…. mostly I’m kind of taking advantage of being able to take those super lazy days while I can yk? Currently staying at home and not working.

(Background) In the past I’ve struggled with body dysmorphia and would often starve myself in order to achieve certain body goals of mine. I’m 4’11 and ive recently come to believe that a healthy weight for me is about 130-135. In HS I weighed about 95 lbs but I would run and lift weights everyday and I wouldn’t let myself eat more than 500 cals a day. I had gotten over that after I got with my now husband and I had managed to slowly get up to around 130 over the course of 3 years. It took a lot for me to get there. But I briefly fell back into that when I had a really physically and mentally active job, I lost 20lbs and I was 110lbs, I’d barely manage to eat a very small meal once a day, most days, so me being that weight was due to calorie deficit. Then we moved and I got a less active job and I had gained my weight back, putting me around 135lb. I was eating again. I had never weighed that much in my entire life yet I thought I still looked good, and felt good. I was content with my body.

Anyway I was around 138 when I got pregnant and rn I’m sitting at 155. My first reaction when seeing those numbers on the scale is to freak out but I think due to my past struggles I’d rather gain a little extra weight than risk falling into a cycle of basically starving myself. It’s a cycle that’s very easy for me to fall into. I’ve been checking my blood pressure and glucose regularly and they’re normal and like I said I do try to be active several times a week. I feel good and haven’t felt guilty about my weight until today’s appt with my doctor. I asked her about it and she gave me the same response as last time…not really budging on the 20lbs thing. I’m having mixed feelings.

She didn’t say anything unprompted. I asked her about it bc she had mentioned it last time, but said I was doing good (I had only gained 8lbs at my 19w checkup) I didn’t see any issue with my weight gain but I asked her about it bc I wanted to see if she was concerned . I haven’t discussed my ED or body dismorphia with her yet, as I’ve only seen her twice and I’m typically a very private person and I didn’t think it’d be relevant until after today. Basically I’m wondering what other people think about my situation and I’m just overall looking for advice.

(I guess I’m worried that she may not change her position on the weight issue even after me explaining how I feel and if that’s the case where to go from there)

Can’t breathe, nauseous, have to eat every 15 minutes but also everything is disgusting, I wake up several times a night drenched in sweat, I smell, bloated, sinuses bad, DEPRESSED, have zero personality, hate everyone, too tired to perform basic hygiene, boobs hurt, rapidly gaining weight, gag if anything touches my neck, I miss ibuprofen, weed, alcohol and retinol, and if men had to do this for even one week of their life not only would we have answers to BASIC questions like why do pregnant women get sick? But we’d be able to grow babies in a lab.

How is everyone else.

Hi,

I hope I put the right flair on, but I am honestly feeling so lost and confused as to what to do.

I am about 5 weeks pregnant right now and I have been considering my options. I am 26 and my boyfriend is 29. Our relationship is okay, very new, only 8 months along.

I have stable financials because I am on VA disability. My boyfriend does not, he has a job that doesnt pay well, however he is getting his VA claim worked through and will eventually have the same stability I do.

I didn't want a child yet, but I fell pregnant and have been back and forth in my decision between options.

I asked my boyfriend "If I stay pregnant and we broke up, would you be prepared to be a single dad?" He looked at me kind of shocked, but let out "yes?" I reminded him of all of the responsibilities and he changed his answer to no.

My boyfriend already has a child (M5) by another woman. He sees his son and talks to him sometimes, but doesn't have sole custody.

I told him I was never interested in being a single mom. Not because I hate single moms or anything, but quite the opposite. Single moms are the strongest warriors and they are full of so much strength. I am not that strong, my day gets ruined if my doordash order gets sent to the wrong address. I know I would struggle immensely being a single mom, because I struggle with my mental without any children. It's not really fair that men can walk away from their children and get off free. Meanwhile, single moms are looked down on by society and scrutinized.

My boyfriend is excited and gets disappointed when I tell him I'm still deciding my options. I don't have much time because of the changing laws. He does say he will support any decision I make.

Has anyone else ever felt this lost?

I go back and forth between wanting to have my baby because I'm at nesting age and I think it would be lovely with my current support system, and thinking that me and my boyfriend have relationships things to work out and financial issues to solve before bringing a child into this world. I was so excited to schedule my first ultrasound yesterday, but today I felt like I was losing myself and giving up everything. I feel like I should do the logical thing and make the much needed choice, but my heart already likes the tube I have growing in me. Help!

I am 21 weeks and managed to give myself the tiniest prick on my finger near my nail. I was trying to pin up my pants that are way too big and have been annoying me all day. The safety pin I found was too small and I got myself with it. My nail got blood under it, but after washing my hands, I can see the tiniest little red dot on my skin. My husband thinks I am being dramatic, but would I need a tetanus shot from it?

The pin itself is sort of black where it was sitting inside the head for so long (the drawers I have at work was inherited by an old employee, God knows how long they've been sitting in there) Any advice? Am I overreacting?

Currently 24 weeks with my first and man I am really struggling with the body changes. I feel and look massive and can’t believe I’m only going to get bigger from this point. I finally saw a photo of myself taken by another person and all of a sudden my self image and confidence is tanked. I felt like I looked massive and swollen/big. For reference, I’ve been athletic and somewhat thin/fit my entire life so I have never seen my body this way before. I feel extremely unattractive and can’t fit any of my cute clothes so I resort to a plain shirt and leggings each day. How did you all cope with this negative self image/ drop in confidence?

i take zofran for my morning sickness and even that isn't working 100%. i finally get to see an OB on friday (i'll already be 11 weeks 6 days by then). any advice anyone can give me? I've googled it but nothing seems to be working. haven't even eaten today because of it, it's 8:30pm and i tried to drink a boost at one point but threw up immediately and not keeping water down much either.

i am 27 weeks pregnant. I normally have been using mineral sunscreen but accidentally i used s chemical filter yesterday (just on may face). It contains oxybenzone, benzophenon 3 and octocrylene. i have panic attack now. i have read about that ingredients’ potentially harmful effects on fetus. Please help :((

I contemplated writing out the whole story but it was so long so I thought an AMA may be a better option!

At 38 weeks, FTM, I had my baby at 3am May 6 on my bathroom floor and my mom almost had to deliver her. Ask me anything!

PS. We’re both happy and healthy:)

Has anyone checked ferritin level while pregnant? What is the normal reference range for pregnancy? I had low ferritin for a few years (7-9 when checked) and was exhausted, weak, dizzy, out of breath etc). Supplements help but then ferritin goes down in a few months. I am at the end of the second trimester and feel so tired all the time. I take naps during the day, simple task like cooking something takes away all energy, can’t even walk 100 feet without getting tired. Sometimes have to rest because I can’t lift my hands when sorting laundry. Anyway… I spent quite some time asking my OB to check ferritin levels, but she refused and said that ferritin levels should be low in pregnancy anyway because body uses iron stores. And that there is no point checking and that I can take iron supplements if I want to. I tried to take them but it makes constipation and other GI problems worse so had to stop. But I just feel that this is not normal, this is my second pregnancy and I suspect that I had low iron first time around too but never checked, this time it’s even worse and I can’t do anything, no energy to go anywhere. What do I need to check, which tests and what can help?

Has anyone ever taken one of these test while pregnant?

Experiencing UTI like symptoms but have tested for everything and all come back negative. I’m currently in PFPT but haven’t had any results yet. Not sure what else to do and I’m in so much pain everyday 😭

I’m a FTM and I had so many plans for how I wanted this pregnancy to go. First, I was going to eat only healthy ans continue exercising. Cue all day sickness and insane fatigue my first trimester. I was a pukey couch potato for three months. Second, I wasn’t going to take any medicines aside from my prenatals. Cue aspirin for preeclampsia, Tylenol and tamiflu for when I got the flu in my first trimester and an antibiotic for a raging skin infection I got out of nowhere in my second trimester. Third, I was going to protect myself as best as possible. The aforementioned flu and now I’ve been diagnosed with Covid. Fourth, I wasn’t going to stress too much so I didn’t affect the baby. I’ve had overwhelming anxiety, tons of life issues going on and now I’m grieving the loss of someone I love whom I lost recently. Fifth, I was going to exercise and prep myself for a healthy natural labor. I was labeled high risk and put on restrictions. Then it turns out I have placenta previa and am barely allowed to stand for extended periods of time let alone exercise much. And my birth plan was shattered as I was told I most likely was getting a c section. Sixth, I was going to build up intimacy with my beloved and we were going to enjoy the unlimited time together to enjoy one another. Then previa diagnosis left me on complete pelvic rest. Seventh I was going to have the nursery completely done and all of our finances figured out but an unexpected fall led to an ER visit and now I’m behind financially. Not to mention my summer job fell through. And due to my lifting and standing restrictions I don’t even know how I’m going to finis the nursery.

I feel like I’ve failed my son and even my beloved in every possible way… I’m really struggling emotionally/mentally. 😔

I’ve been having really bad morning sickness and sometimes I can’t keep food down. What did you guys try to relieve some of the symptoms? I’ll randomly feel sick even though I’m eating an okay amount of food and it goes away then comes back. Anything helps

Where did you get your maternity/nursing bras? I want good quality but I don't exactly want to pay an arm and a leg for them.

I'm 37 weeks and multiple times a day I'll have unbearable pain starting in my nipples and going through my breasts. It's like someone is twisting and pulling my nipples as hard as they can and I'd honestly say the pain is a 7 out of 10. It feels like I can't even breathe it ls so intense.

Here's solutions I've read online and tried that haven't helped. •nipple cream •Heating/freezing pads for nipples specifically •lidocaine ointment •vigorously rubbing to stimulate blood flow •vibrating massager

All that seems to work is taking a hot bath or turning the heat all the way up to make them get soft, but that's not helpful when I need to sleep (I absolutely cannot sleep if I'm hot). Like right now. I'm so tired and want to go to bed but am bound to the bathtub to relieve the intense pain. Please tell me someone knows a magical solution.

Okok so ive always been sexually active and have no problem getting in the mood. When my first baby was born my libido was inexistent and my partners was low as well. A year post partum my libido was coming back and i got pregnant again. Now my baby is 8 months. Im still breast feeding and life is even more hectic. My partners sexual energy has gone up and mine keeps deteriorating. I do resent that my partner doesn’t really try to connect with me, and build up that lust through dates or foreplay. I usually just have sex to please him but im not as into it as i was before. I feel like hes gonna get bored of it and it fills me with insecurities plus the post partum body dysmorphia. I guess i wanna vent but also want to know what yall are doing to get your libidos back?

Stupid question- but when does an innie go from not being an innie to an outtie (or flat)? I’m not sure why but I’m TERRIFIED of when this will happen 😭 but from what I’ve heard it’s basically unavoidable. When do I need to prepare myself for this to happen? Does it hurt? When does it go back?

Lost parts of my mucus plug today! I know it doesn’t mean much, but makes me feel a little more hopeful that I’ll have baby before getting induced later next week. ALSO Makes me nervous and realize that I like things to be scheduled and not unexpected 🥲

Did you lose your mucus plug? When and when did you go into labor/what were your next signs

I just sent an email about all the things that I felt and carried for months. I am going through divorce currently and feel very lonely and sad. I am 8 months pregnant and due mid June.

Here is a very long but heartfelt email. I know he would never feel anything. Just wanted to put it out in the universe. .....//.....

Thank you for divorcing me now instead of waiting 5/10/15 years for it. It would have been inevitable.

You were right about telling me in the beginning that love and attraction will come in the future and that it was too early. You were honest eventhough it hurt to hear that after intimacy. It felt a stab in the heart even if it was the truth.

I believed making you my best friend, sharing with you everything big and small about me would make us closer. Giving you everything you wished for( traveling to Abu Dhabi because you wanted to see the mosque in that very tight schedule instead of spending quality time together, going on a safari trip even though I was never interested, buying a car in your name because your friend has one , going out shopping 11 days post partum to get you the best watch on the market, traveling to Umrah because I saw how much you wanted it more than myself, all that hoping to be closer) All things, small and big because I felt that would make you happy. My strong words, complaining too much, screaming at times because I felt I wasn't loved enough. You were doing everything you thought was necessary to be a good spouse. Feeding me, medicating me, taking care of my baby girl when I had her. The root of the problem was there was never real attraction or connection. I was looking for it, asking friends about it and even watching videos about it. I was invisible to you. The day I came back with our baby girl from US, I will never forget.

I will not blame you for not seeing me for who I was or not loving me. I was told many times that you can't force anyone to love you.

What I blame you for is for your harshness towards me. The harsh words, for calling me ugly, for telling me I was a virgin because nobody wanted me, for calling my friend tall and beautiful without shame, for asking if she was a virgin, for looking at other women infront of me, for telling another woman you love her and gaslighting me into I told you to say it. That day's trauma has affected me. Even if I forgive you, I don't think Allah will for the PTSD I suffered afterwards. For calling me unattractive and my voice not being feminine. For telling me you were praying for separation for the trip I planned instead of reassuring me when I lashed out. How painful and cruel is that?? To be told you went to umrah with your husband and the entire time, he was praying for separation from you at the holiest of places.

I know I was very harsh towards you. I was raised with tough love and was blunt and nagging at times. My decisions were childish at times.

I know that you are not capable of feeling another person's pain and will try to avoid feeling the slightest feeling of guilt or emotions.

Because you are intuned with your personal emotions, you will drain out the words I am writing.

My therapist suggested I need to write it in paper and burn it to release everything I wanted to say.

I am writing this because someday, I wanted you to remember this words, that I wasn't a bad wife to you, all I was looking was to be seen for who I was, appreciated and loved.

The reason I didn't get married for the longest was because I was afraid of divorce. The quick decision I made to marry you was because I felt safe knowing you had experience with marriage and you will be careful not to break a home twice. For this, my friend R*##* was the reason to make the haste decision. I thought I was making a logical decision and will not be hurt because R@&^^ said you were 'Religious and educated'

What you don't realize:(to be continued...)

Beginning last week, I have now started to wake up multiple times in the middle of the night due to my arm, wrist or fingers “falling asleep”. I’ve always slept on my sides so that’s not an issue. When the numbness wakes me up, it takes a while to get blood flow going again and it’s really frustrating because then I can’t fall back asleep. Today (around noon) my wrists/fingers still kind of hurt when I was stretching/clenching them long after I woke up around 9am and got moving. I looked it up and read it can be because of nerves, weight pressing on certain body parts, restricted blood flow, etc - so fun!

Has anyone else experienced this? What can I do to relieve it? Are there any body pillows out there that help with this? Thinking it might be time to invest in something.

My partner and I have held off on sex because I’m just overly anxious about something going wrong as I’ve had a previous loss. I really do want to be intimate but I’m also worried about what lube to use. The one we were using before finding our said not to use if pregnant or breastfeeding, and I still plan on talking to my doctor about it , but was curious what everyone else is using for lube during pregnancy. Thank you 🙏

Doc called saying I need to come back to do the 3 hour test. What should I eat the night before? I don’t think I should skip dinner, but I’m not sure what to eat. Should I not eat sugar and carbs the day before?

I’m currently 11 weeks and will be 12-13 weeks when I’m traveling to South Korea. I had a pretty rough first trimester so far but mainly the usual fatigue, food aversion, nausea and insomnia. The worst is really not being able to eat leading to a lack of energy. I used to be able to sleep for 10 hours straight to conserve energy but now I wake up at the slightest noise.

I’m quite worried for my upcoming holiday to S.Korea. I might not have the strength to have a good holiday.

Anyone has experience travelling in 1st-2nd trimester? Any advice would be helpful and appreciated!!!! Thank you!

I think maybe I’ve always had this experience because I’m young and healthy which I am grateful for.

However, I hate going to the doctors, waiting forever, and getting talked to for like 2 seconds then rushed out. Then sitting in my car and having a crashing realization that I actually would have lived without that appointment.

I am 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I don’t wanna go too early but I don’t want to wait so long that it harms me or my baby in any way.

So what week do things actually happen at the doctors? Like a scan, or lab and not just a “when was the first day of your last period” and then pushed out the door.

And note, I’ve already gotten bloodwork done, right before my positive.

Does anyone have any pregnancy/ parenting book recommendations?

I have been feeling crampy (period like cramps in my lower back) since Saturday. When I went in for my NST, my midwife said I had been having contractions the whole time. She said she would be surprised if I made it to my induction on Wednesday, but when she checked my cervix I was only 1 cm and 60% effaced. Has anyone been in a similar situation? When did baby come? Thanks!