/r/Custody

Photograph via snooOG

A place to discuss custody issues regarding children during and after a divorce, how to handle custody with unmarried couples, questions about family court, and any pending issues with yet-unborn children.

A place to discuss custody issues regarding children during, and after a divorce, how to handle custody with unmarried couples, and any pending issues with yet-unborn children.

All topics must begin with the country or state, placed in brackets.

Examples:

  • [NY] Question regarding visitation
  • [CAN] Question regarding visitation

Do not post:

  • Any personal/identifying information about you, your ex, or your children.
  • requests for any financial assistance.
  • requests for legal representation.

Links to blog sites must be informative, describe a relevant topic, and not be used in a manner in which to refer to a specific business or law firm. They are reviewed on a case-by-case basis.

Related subreddits:

/r/divorce

/r/legaladvice

/r/MissMyKids/

/r/Custody

34,483 Subscribers

2

[FL] An older sibling wanting custody.

Hi i'm a 24 year old female! i'm the oldest of 3. 3 years ago my father got a lady that he met on the streets pregnant. my dad & her never stayed in contact with me nor my 19 year old brother. we've tried our best to contact whoever we could to stay in my sisters life. i just figured out that my sisters aunt has her doesn't have custody but she is working with the courts for it. she doesn't allow me nor my brother to see her or even help her with my sister. i'll soon be an officer in the military after i graduate nursing school and I want to have full custody or even 50/50 custody of my sister I love her she doesn't know me, she’s met me but doesn't know who i am or that im her sister. she's 3 and i don't want to rip her away from no one i just want her to know she has siblings and that we are here and we'll always be here. how hard do you think it would be to get custody of my sister? her moms on the streets by choice and my dad recently died so he's no help at all and i'm super sad as an older sibling i make it my duty to do what i can because if i was the youngest i would want my older siblings to do anything for me. we all share the same dad and we all have his last name.

1 Comment
2024/10/29
00:13 UTC

2

[MA] Question on Custody

Custody in Massachusetts

My bonus daughter just lost custody of her child. Was told it was because she had no vehicle so a majority of child’s time was spent with father. Child also was coached by father to say that mother was being abused by her boyfriend (not true). Mother had call with DCF tomorrow to discuss next steps. What else can be done? Even of her father and I were to give her one of our vehicles, she can’t afford the insurance (and neither can we; my husband is retired and on a fixed income and my savings just went to the dentist). Does anyone have any advice on how she can try and regain custody? Her common-law ex only wants primary custody because of the financial aspect; housing assistance, food assistance etc.

3 Comments
2024/10/28
23:37 UTC

1

[FL] Legal Resources

I am NOT asking for an attorney referral. I have an attorney but I often question whether he is doing all he can. My case is going on 3 years now and still no trial. Since I have an attorney, I can't consult with other attorneys but I just wish I had another viewpoint to say yeah, that's right, or no, he should do this. I'm losing trust.

0 Comments
2024/10/28
23:30 UTC

2

[AK] Do I need to get a lawyer?

My parenting plan isn’t working. What can I reasonably expect from a lawyer or even a mediator?

I was officially divorced in 2021. I have an 8 year old son and I have 50/50 custody with my son’s father. We co-parented well and probably had way too much flexibility as we tried to make custody and child transitions work. I’ve found I’m now getting pushed into a position where I’m constantly flexible to my ex without being met halfway.

Part of our issue is we had a very simple dissolution and child custody arrangement. It literally just said 50/50 custody, one week with parent A ending on Monday at 6 pm and then switching to parent B for the next week. Parent A (me in this case) pays for health insurance and gets every Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Easter holiday as that had been our tradition since we got together and had child. Ex wasn’t close to his family. Every other holiday was according to the “set schedule.” Parent B was supposed to pay $250 in child support monthly. We both make decent salaries and didn’t find it necessary but the judge said there wasn’t a way to opt-out. I made less than my ex in 2021. At this point I probably make more and have more steady employment, but we haven’t reevaluated the child support situation and don’t find the need to.

The problems lie as follows:

  1.   Ex is a journeyman and travels very frequently for work. His schedule is very irregular and he works away for weeks at a time and wants to go back to the schedule with him having him right away when he returns to town. It is very difficult for me to schedule childcare and travel (work travel and vacation) due to this. He says it’s not fair that he doesn’t have him because of work and wants to those days back when he returns. Obviously this doesn’t fit the week on/week off parenting plan.
  2.   Scheduling has been a frequent issue every couple of months where this really impacts any plans I make due to the inconsistency. For instance last week I planned to go to a Halloween Carnival with my son and then dad popped back into town and wanted him right away. When I mentioned we probably need to talk to a lawyer or something to set the schedule more, he said “fine I’ll take him on my weeks” and son will stay with his girlfriend even while he is out of town. I shared the “right of refusal” option and he said no. Yet here we are that I keep him for weeks while he’s away and then he demands son when he’s back.
  3.   Ex frequently voices his interest in moving away to be close to family who reside out of our state. I told him he needs to talk with a mediator or lawyer about custody options before I’m willing to discuss that further. He does this about once a year and hasn’t taken any steps to move.
  4.   He repeatedly schedules personal vacations during school. My son is missing 5 days right now for a Hawaii vacation and then he wants to take him for an additional 2 weeks in a week or 2 for a funeral out of state. Son is struggling academically and needs to be at school.

I want to get to a regular, set custody schedule and I don’t want my son to keep missing school because of Ex’s conflicting priorities.

I’m not sure of next steps to figure this out. Should I get a lawyer? Would they just recommend we try to do family counseling to come to an agreement? I think Ex could be interested in some sort of mediation.

Any feedback and thoughts are welcome. Thank you

2 Comments
2024/10/28
23:13 UTC

1

[US] Custody Indiana

As the title states, I'm trying to get 50-50 custody in Indiana. I (24M) I am currently fighting my ex for 50-50 custody of my daughter. We had a verbal agreement of I get her one week and she gets the next, but then out of nowhere she decided she wanted me to do the state minimum of every other weekend and one day during the week for a few hours. I told her I was not willing to do that, and she said if I didn't like it then take her to court.

I filed in court, and let her know that I did so. And then the very next day, she filed a protective order against me.

Today, the judge approved said protective order. Am I screwed in this situation? I do have an attorney as well, just curious on if anybody else has been in the same situation.

My ex was perfectly fine with me having my daughter until I filed for paternity in court. Since then she has not contacted me, or let me see my daughter at all. I'm hoping the judge will decide in my favor regarding this, especially being that she filed a protective order of the day after I filed for paternity and parenting time.

1 Comment
2024/10/28
22:09 UTC

0

[ca] requirements for ex parte?

Before you guys say to get a lawyer I’m poor as heck and can’t afford one… anyways

I been fighting just to get weekend visitation in family court for over 6 years !

I’m pretty sure courts just don’t care about dads but anyways

Basically I have a restraining order on mom and mom also has criminal charges pending which she is using as a reason to not show up to visitation…

She has violated both the restraining order and family visitation order multiple times but the court appointed lawyer sides with mom preventing anything from happening to her

After court last week someone suggested I do an ex parte so I went down to the court and tried to get help from the self help center… according to them I can only file one when something serious happens like a kidnapping…

But isn’t not showing up to visitation technically kidnapping? Any help is a appreciated please

Im so tired I just feel like giving up at this point I can’t afford a lawyer and I just want to see my son I’ve agreed to everything the court has asked… child support etc….

Thank you in advanced

11 Comments
2024/10/28
21:25 UTC

2

[PA] How does custody relocation work in PA?

I filed a relocation form September 10th and opposing party never filed a petition. I assume I would get something in the mail from the courthouse saying relocation is approved? All that the self help papers say is that opposing party has 30 days to file a petition or they lose the right to fight the relocation.

8 Comments
2024/10/28
19:18 UTC

4

[US] How to get HCBD to use a parenting app?

I’ve been trying to find ways to minimize communication with my HCBD for a while. We only text, never call. But a simple discussion always turns into something it doesn’t need to be. I’ve said I’d like to switch to email communication, it was a “I’m nit emailing you every time i need to talk to you”. I sent him a link for a coparenting app and said I wanted to use it, he never responded. Then suddenly says he only wants me to text between certain hours. I oblige to avoid fights, but why does he get to make his terms & I can’t? Is there a way I can make him do it? I want to start using OFW. He also never keeps up with ANYTHING regarding our son and blames me for not telling him about it. I hate to be his personal secretary.

14 Comments
2024/10/28
17:59 UTC

0

[PA] how do you prep for a short list conference?

Just looking for some basic guidelines so I can prepare. I’ve learned that lawyers are terrible at giving instructions/prepping you for these things lol. I just want to be as prepared as possible so what advice do you all have?

5 Comments
2024/10/28
17:09 UTC

1

[MN] Emergency custody enforcement?

I should be getting an emergency custody order either today or tomorrow. My question is, how is this enforced? How would an officer handle this? I plan on calling the sheriff's department before going to get my child. He is at the other parents house for the week. However, there has been issues in the past where she stops answering the phone, won't open the door, or sends me on a wild goose chase for my son at pickup time. She has sent me all over the place looking for him in the past.

She is currently on probation, is to remain law abiding, and is not to be driving. She works but won't tell me where or her hours. I don't know who watches my son while she's at work either. My son is four and does not go to school yet. I'm just worried I won't be able to find him when the time comes.

5 Comments
2024/10/28
15:52 UTC

0

[GA] Advice needed about choosing long distance or same city

My ex and I have 3 year old daughter. I moved from PA (where he currently lives) to GA with my daughter last year because he was verbally and emotionally abusive to us both. After we moved, he came to visit our daughter twice. Then at the six month mark of us being here he filed for shared custody. I don’t know what to do moving forward. What is best for my daughter? Should I move back so that she has to see him for what I assume will be shorter, but more frequent visits? My fear is that long distance will mean longer stretches of time that she will have to spend with him alone. For those of you who have been in similar situations with an abusive ex, what would you choose if you could?

10 Comments
2024/10/28
06:19 UTC

0

[TX] Advice concerning custody

My niece (9) has been living with her grandparents along with me for most of this year, my sister (her mother) has been threatening us with a court battle over her "once she gets clean", she has endangered my nieces life multiple times and caused her to have "death thoughts" that she talks with her counselor at school about, she is a horrible mother and my niece doesn't want to go back to her, it's important to know that my sister does not have custody of my niece, my nieces biological father does who is off the grid hiding from the police somewhere in Georgia, I'm not sure what to do about the situation as I am unsure how to prove any of this as evidence or anything about custody battles and my niece means the world to me

20 Comments
2024/10/28
05:27 UTC

0

[KS] Please help! Question Regarding Custody for Infant

I have a child less than a year old and I’m the only parent on the birth certificate. The dad would see her once a week for the first month and then didn’t make any effort again until she was 7 months old. He has only bought a box of diapers and a pack of wipes in the past 9 months and refuses to provide anything because he believes the state should provide me with money and/or I should ask him when I need something even though I have stated to him that I won’t be asking him to provide for his child when it’s a given that he should be. I recently got into an argument with him because I will start working soon (have been a stay-at-home mom for the past 9 months while finishing school) and he suggested the baby should stay with him while I work. Mind you, during this visit she was crying non-stop because he’s a stranger to her (he has only seen her about <5 times in the past 3 months) and I wasn’t in her line of sight. I declined his offer and let him know I already made arrangements with my family to have her taken care of by them while I worked and that I wouldn’t force her to stay with him for 8 hours when she couldn’t handle 10 minutes with him. He got upset and said that forcing her to stay with him would be no different than her staying with me and getting to know me when she was a newborn. I then told him that another reason I wouldn’t be comfortable with her staying with him is because when she was a newborn, he placed her on the ground and kicked a soccer ball around above her. He also wouldn’t let me feed her when she would cry because he didn’t want her to develop an “eating disorder” even though I explained to him that babies feed on demand. After I told him of all these things he got upset and left my home and I told him not to come back until he had a court order.

This is where I need advice.

Since I have sole custody at the moment, being the only one on my baby’s birth certificate, should I take him to court before he can take me? I doubt he would take me because he has a record (I believe he had a DUI) but he has threatened to take her from me and saying he’ll win simply because of my parents’ immigration status and my lack of a job. Should I simply ignore him until he has a court order? And if that day ever comes, how should I go about it to make sure my daughter isn’t forced to stay at his when he’s the equivalent of a stranger to her. Someone mentioned supervised visits but is that something I can do? I’m just scared for my daughter’s life if she ever has to stay with him and I don’t want her to be another baby that was failed by the system.

10 Comments
2024/10/28
04:32 UTC

1

[IA, US] Custody Modification / character witness

I am testifying as a character witness in an upcoming custody modification hearing, for a coworker. The petitioner (coworker) has a lawyer. The child's father is representing himself without a lawyer. Do you have any advice on how to prepare for the hearing, or what to expect? Thank you

4 Comments
2024/10/28
03:33 UTC

1

[CA] 3443 schedule

Who has been experience using a 3443 custody schedule? What do you like or dislike about it?

5 Comments
2024/10/28
03:27 UTC

0

[USA - Alaska] wanting to switch from 50/50 in order to relocate and get primary custody

*** edited to add: Please feel welcome to share the tough love. I know I must have blind spots****

Looking for similar experiences or feedback into how likely it could be that I could successfully relocate and win primary custody. From reading prior posts, it seems like it could be an uphill battle regardless of whether it's mother or father pursuing relocation. I'm sure I'm forgetting stuff to write in this post but gotta start gathering my thoughts more. Thank you in advance!

I, the mother, have shared 50/50 week on week off custody with my children's father for the last 5 years. Prior to 5 years ago, the father and I were married, lived together, and raised our children together until we separated when the kids were 4 and 2 years old. We eventually divorced. The children are now 9 and 7 years old. They are both born and raised in our current community and never lived anywhere else. Needless to say, all their ties are here: school, friends, activities. Other than 1 aunt on dads side, the kids do not have any other family that lives here.

I received a job offer recently in another community within the state that would require kids to be with 1 parent during the school year and the other parent during the summer. I would want primary school year custody.

Potential pros to relocation:

  1. Get out of poverty on my side. They live very comfortably with dad but I financially struggle. I have not pursued re-evaluation of what child support may be appropriate because the father would get very angry and make my life difficult if I tried to do so.

  2. Allow me to live in safer community (my current housing is in not the safest neighborhood and there is occasional drug activity)

  3. Better student to teacher ratio to support my 9 year olds education. She currently tests below grade level in every subject, partially due to dad prioritizing social life and extracurricular activities over education. 9 year old does not like doing homework at dads house "because he yells at me and then I cry" she said. This makes her desire to learn extra challenging. I really hope to get a fresh start on her attitude towards schooling.

  4. Get away from dads problematic drinking. He struggles with drinking during the long cold dark winters. He's able to string together 1-2 months of sobriety at times. Recently in August 2024 he attempted to drive drunk with both the kids. He has 1 DUI on his record from 2020. I quit drinking in 2014, before my children were born, due to my own unhealthy relationship with drinking.

  5. Me get away from or create distance from dad who verbally/emotionally harasses me still to this day. I don't believe it rises to the level of protective order but the way he still treats me to the day, years after divorce, is still very hurtful and not great for my mental health

Potential cons to relocation:

  1. Most importantly, kids not being able to see Dad as often. He is a very good dad 99% of the time. I worry about kids being sad.

  2. It's not easy for either parents. Im worried for dads mental health if I were to leave. He struggles with seasonal depression.

  3. I know that it would be heavy lifting for me taking on primary custody. I can do it but I recognize it will be tough without having that consistent week to week joint parenting.

  4. What if the move overall and living in a new community is not what I thought it would be. What if I have regrets and I put my kids, myself, and their father through so much stress only to move back within a few months.

  5. Although we don't have much family in our current community, we have a strong support network of friends. I'd have to build a new support network from scratch in the new community.

12 Comments
2024/10/28
01:02 UTC

0

[VA] Filing for relocation to diff state but now sure how to go about it?

I’ve been in the middle of a custody battle with my son’s dad for over a year and the final hearing has continued to get pushed off. Now it’s set for early next year. He’s been MIA most of our son’s life, but filed for custody to have 50/50 last Oct. I met my now husband around that time and he lives in a diff state as well as his two boys (my step children) and we are planning to move. Originally, my sons dad was cool with it (I have text and audio proof of his agreement to it) and we were getting ready to move by December but he suddenly changed his mind about the move so now we have to get the court’s permission. So I’m wondering how exactly to go about this? VA, like most states, requires a minimum of 30 day written notice of relocation for the parent and court. I’ve been advised by multiple lawyers to do it at exactly 30 days prior to give dad less opportunity to petition/fight against it. Does that mean I file it and give it to him 30 days before our final hearing that’s set? 30 days before we would actually like to move? Bc from my understanding, I still have to get the court’s permission even with a written notification, assuming he doesn’t petition against it by the time our court date arrives. Once I file the written notice, do we just up and leave? I’m confused on how it works. I’m just confused on the rules lol. Has anyone ever done this?

12 Comments
2024/10/28
00:30 UTC

0

[CA] what is the best schedule for a 7-year-old?

For context we currently have a 60/40 split. Dad wants 50/50 with a 2255 schedule. Our current schedule is very irregular with him having two overnights per week that are not consecutive and more of the daytime time. I feel that going from one overnight to five is too much. I'm considering offering a 4-3 schedule for a period while stepping up. The alternative also of course is to agree to what he wants and avoid court. Another alternative is to step up on our current schedule to get her used to consecutive overnights. Then go back to mediation step up again to a more standard schedule like the 2255.

He's unlikely to agree to anything besides what he wants. We have been through court in trial before and ideally I would like to avoid that again. What is the best schedule for a 7-year-old? Any advice would be appreciated!

13 Comments
2024/10/27
14:17 UTC

4

[MA] Father refuses to let child attend activities

My ex gets the kids one afternoon a week and for 24 hours over the weekend (4pm Sat - 4pm Sun). My 5 yr old son was invited to his little buddy’s birthday this weekend at 1:30 on Sunday. Ex and I have in the past been flexible and will shift the schedule by a few hours to accommodate conflicts on either side. Gave several weeks notice to this birthday party, ex agreed. Fast forward to this week, we got in a stupid argument and now he is punishing me by punishing our son and not letting him attend the birthday party (that he knows about and was looking forward to). Feels exceptionally cruel. I have a meeting with my attorney next week to talk about adding language into our custody agreement about us both agreeing to take the kids to activities (and possibly make up the time if it takes time away from ex’s parenting time). I can foresee this being an issue for years to come with sports, etc. My question is what kind of language have others written into their agreements for this, and can it be made broad enough to include allowing my son to attend his friends’ birthday parties (again, with the agreement that we’ll make up the time that his dad misses by the activities)? I know the ship has sailed on this weekend’s birthday but I’d like to protect him from these types of disappointments in the future if possible.

21 Comments
2024/10/27
13:47 UTC

1

[Los Angeles California] question about visitation and adding summer break to Holiday schedule.

Los Angeles California family Court order granted me 3 weekends a month to care for my child of 9yrs old, coming home to me starting from Friday evening and ending on Sunday night then we do child exchange halfway between both our homes. I want to add summer breaks to our court order but not sure what to ask the judge, I want to do two weeks with me and two weeks with other parent but other parent wants me to give up my weekends in between the two week of break spent with them. Is that fair that I should give up my days especially since my days are only Three weekends a month and other parent has all other days? Other parent is bitter about our separation and just wants to make things difficult. What is fair and how can I present it to the judge without getting under judges skin?

11 Comments
2024/10/27
04:10 UTC

3

[NJ] Is it worth trying to get full custody?

I have 2 kids (1yo + 2yo) and I’m 4 months pregnant with my third. We’ve separated but still own the house together and I can’t take the custody arrangement we’ve “worked out” privately anymore. I want to know if I have any chance of full custody. I’d honestly even take being the primary with him getting to see them every other weekend.

  1. Do I take him to court or tell him the schedule isn’t working for me and wait for him to take me to court?

  2. What conditions might qualify me to these custody arrangements? I had a TRO filed less than a year ago because he attacked me and vandalized our home with a hammer (knocked out the windows, walls, tvs, etc) while the kids were home. He went to rehab for alcohol and drugs shortly after.Then intensive outpatient for mental health. After completing tx, I decided not to continue with a Final RO (mistake I know). He’s supposedly still sober but does not see a therapist, psychiatrist or go to AA meetings. He’s unstable. That’s for sure. He also isn’t paying his half of the bills/mortgage on time and missing work. I’m about to pay him off and to get him off the deed to the house (I have most of the equity).

What would you do?

9 Comments
2024/10/27
02:40 UTC

0

[NY] long distance schedules?

Long distance plan? Hello, I’m trying to come up with a long distance plan for my child (6) bc unfortunately, despite my ex gf being extremely high conflict the courts still want us to “try and resolve this ourselves”. I left my ex and joined the military when my child was 1.5 and am currently still active duty, married with another child as well. I stupidly didn’t take my ex to court to establish any custody bc I assumed she’d know it was important my child see me as well, especially since we have such a good relationship considering my ex being hellbent we don’t. I’m asking for: -summer breaks (child comes with me 1wk after school is out to have time to decompress from the yr and goes back 1wk before school starts in order to school shop) -Spring breaks -Even years entire Thanksgiving break -Odd year entire Christmas break (I rather my child not have to split Christmas break in half between parents. It just seems more stable they get a full Christmas with either parent plus that’s a lot of travel expenses) -If I’m in child’s home state I’d also like to have the right to visit if given say, 2wks notice to mom -We split travel expenses (my ex expects me to travel the 13hrs to them every time but I am bound by the military, I literally cannot be within a 250 mile radius of post unless given permission) -If I am to be deployed during “my time” then my child just stays with mom and visits will presume when I am back

When our case was still ongoing my lawyer had written up a similar agreement but included Easter, Memorial Day etc but of course my ex then backed out and said no to any of it, which is fine bc that seems terrible for a child and a lot of back and forth. My lawyer said I should just settle with the 50/50 legal for now, let her have primary physical, and pursue this when I come back from overseas so I avoid going to trial so that’s what I did but now my ex still won’t agree to this schedule (she’s been denying me visits since I left unless I go to her or pay for her and my child to come down here in full) so I’ve just always driven the 13hrs to them and let my ex, her man and her mother “supervise” my visits. I was going to ask for primary physical, I don’t think my ex has our kids best interest but it is unfair to flip flop my child’s entire world around.

Am I really being unreasonable?? My child is literally asking me when they can come over to my house and actually stay and see their sibling again bc “we’re a family here” and I tell my ex my child expresses the want to see me a lot but she doesn’t seem to care. I’ve never done drugs, not abusive, in the military, try my hardest to be an active father to both of my kids, FaceTime my child every night, my wife is also a good mother, nurse, and amazing step mom when allowed. Also how would it affect my child support?? I don’t mind paying it but if I truly do get my child I’d rather have the money so they could have their own wardrobe, toys, etc here.

10 Comments
2024/10/27
01:32 UTC

1

[US Georgia] advice needed

I posted here recently about not seeing my daughter for this past month, and the mother of my child not answering questions in regards to her.

This past week she decided to let me see her for what was suppose to be today, last night she hacked into my social media and when I told her that this was illegal and not to invade my privacy she told me that I was harassing her and that she would not let me see my daughter until the court makes her do so.

What can I do? I’m planning on showing all the screenshots and conversations to my attorney on Monday, but there is no way that this would hold up in court if she is the one that is hacking into my stuff.

At this point should I go absolute no contact until court? Even if she reaches out?

Any help would be appreciated.

4 Comments
2024/10/27
01:20 UTC

0

[ca] question about unsupervised visit

We have an order in place already where parent has supervised visits. The order came to be due to mental health issues of leaving first child alone in home and having suicidal ideation, after being caught cheating. He left me messages and a note for her, police were called, he got 5150. Social worker got involved for 1 month, he couldn’t be alone with his children, ended up inconclusive. I separated from him, filed for divorce and custody of our shared daughter, 100% physical to myself and shared legal custody between us, but supervised visits to him. This was done pro se, he didn’t file a response, so it turned into a default judgment. We’ve been planning visits accordingly to work and school schedules, and he keeps asking if he can have her alone for a few hours. I tell him he knows he can’t be alone with her. Then he keeps messaging me saying “Am I a danger to her?”

It’s been nearly a year since the infidelity was discovered, the court order was final in February. Child support was finally established in August where he didn’t want to pay the amount, and so I settled a lower number just to get out of that drama. As a single mom doing everything I can for myself and our daughter, I find myself still healing from the marriage, still hurt, still nervous that if our daughter is under his care, he will have those intrusive thoughts he mentioned, or leave the kids alone. I know that he still leaves his oldest daughter in the middle of the night to go clubbing, out with women. Our daughter is only 3.

Do I have to respond to his repeated messages? I feel like he is backing me into a corner. I don’t know his mental health status, whether he is masking it very well only for it to appear so drastically in a situation that could possibly be devastating. I don’t want to give a chance of that happening. However if I say all of this, he will just say that he is fine, and that I need to give consent for him to have her alone for a few hours.

During our visits at the park, restaurants etc, I let them be to play and talk etc. however he more than likely feels that I am controlling everything and keeping her away from him, which I am not, since majority of the time I am the one planning visits and all he has to do is drive there and show up.

Any advice for me? I feel like I am too full of emotion to think straight when he gets like this to push me around. I feel my boundaries are being crossed and if he really, really, really wanted custody of her, he would have fought in court, or filed by now for modification. Throughout the year since we separated, he stayed with one of the women he cheated on me with, got her pregnant, and I’m guessing is no longer seeing her anymore since the drama is starting again. I just don’t know him anymore whether he’s received ongoing treatment or not.

I guess I am just hurt and tired of being painted as the bad parent.

11 Comments
2024/10/26
22:12 UTC

2

[MS] ADVICE

Looking for advice and/ or opinions. Me and my child’s father were never married. He’s not on the birth certificate. Our child is 1 years old. Dad works off shore. He sees our child once while he’s home. He filed for 50/50 custody in April. I was served in August two days before court so they had to cancel the court date. I got an attorney, we wrote a counteroffer. Haven’t heard from his attorney. My attorney stated that we could wait until our child is older since he is likely to get unsupervised visits and right now he gets visits based on my discretion. Should I push my lawyer to start the process? Or should I slowly get our child comfortable with him on my own until one of our lawyers starts the process?

0 Comments
2024/10/26
15:28 UTC

0

[US] concern of drug abuse

How long do you have to wait to file modification...and can you request a drug test for modification case?

And would it be wrong to assume someone who has taken to begging for money everyday outside c/s, may be on drugs?...everyday now when they don't have the child.. Op has history of drug abuse, tho not on paper..child is 6 and truancy is now a concern as well, due to op unable to meet at the court appointed exchange spot... Parents in diff counties...

4 Comments
2024/10/26
13:41 UTC

2

[TN] Default

After multiple contempt violations, I filed a petition to modify custody, and other party did not responded in the 30 day time frame. My attorney is filing a motion for default Monday morning. I’m trying not to get my hopes up but wondering about others’ experiences.

5 Comments
2024/10/26
11:20 UTC

0

[US] Is there a logical reason to not pay child support?

Have any of you gone through the situation of a temporary order being put in place where the father gets visitation, and the mother is to get child support?

We went to court about 4-5 weeks ago and the judge gave us a temporary order where he gets our daughter every other weekend, and (because he is unemployed) has to pay me the minimum of $150 a month for child support.

The problem is… I haven’t gotten any child support, and it was due on the first of the month. Because it has only been about 25 days, my lawyer said we can’t file contempt yet because it hasn’t been 30 days . But when we go to court in a few days, it will be past due 28 days.

I’m curious to see if this has happened to anybody or anyone has seen this… and if there was ever a logical excuse to not pay child support? I mean…. IS THERE A LOGICAL EXCUSE TO NOT PAY CHILD SUPPORT? Because I would think he wouldn’t be dumb enough to not pay it the first time it’s ordered, so I’m just trying to make it make sense… if that’s even possible.

24 Comments
2024/10/26
10:52 UTC

7

[PA] Hearing coming up and I feel defeated. How do you all deal with custody battles?

Just a backstory, our daughter is one year old and my ex has been fighting me for full custody for that long. We currently have 50/50. We’ve been through mediation 9 times and he refuses to agree to anything. We finally have a full day hearing set for November. He is absolutely set that him and his attorney will get full custody and I’ll get visitation. What are his grounds for wanting that? His parents. They are very abusive and controlling. They never have liked me and think I lie about everything. They tell him I’m “homeless (because I live with my parents, but so does he.) I’m on welfare, and theres no way I have a job” and he believes it. I don’t coparent with him, I coparent with them. They are paying for his attorney and legal fees. I have to talk to THEM in a parenting app. They do the exchanges, I haven’t seen him for months. They are the most difficult people to deal with. It’s so hard. I’m 25, I have another kid (different dads), I’m a nursing student, and I work as a paramedic. I feel like I have it all together some days but they keep harassing me into thinking I’ll never see my daughter again because I’m worthless. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with.

12 Comments
2024/10/26
02:35 UTC

0

[US] Can Alabama Parents Reach an Agreement to Waive Child Support Obligations?

I saw an article of a firm writing about when the parties share custody together equally and the child is spending equal or approximately equal time with both parents, there may not be a need for child support because the parties are already sharing in responsibilities of caring for the child equally. Since theres so much gender equality, I will guess courts needs to update their laws too. Specially, when the parents have a prenuptial agreement. I am not in this situation or divorcing. Government is not letting parents, be parents in their own way. Obviously, I am not talking abusive situations. Alabama, US

24 Comments
2024/10/26
01:01 UTC

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