/r/Custody

Photograph via snooOG

A place to discuss custody issues regarding children during and after a divorce, how to handle custody with unmarried couples, questions about family court, and any pending issues with yet-unborn children.

A place to discuss custody issues regarding children during, and after a divorce, how to handle custody with unmarried couples, and any pending issues with yet-unborn children.

All topics must begin with the country or state, placed in brackets.

Examples:

  • [NY] Question regarding visitation
  • [CAN] Question regarding visitation

Do not post:

  • Any personal/identifying information about you, your ex, or your children.
  • requests for any financial assistance.
  • requests for legal representation.

Links to blog sites must be informative, describe a relevant topic, and not be used in a manner in which to refer to a specific business or law firm. They are reviewed on a case-by-case basis.

Related subreddits:

/r/divorce

/r/legaladvice

/r/MissMyKids/

/r/Custody

34,527 Subscribers

1

[CA] 3 4 schedule

Do you do a 3 4 custody schedule? How is it going for you? What do you like/dislike about it?

0 Comments
2024/11/02
04:51 UTC

3

[WA] What Discovery Requests Helped With Your Case?

I’m currently going through a custody battle without legal representation (neither of us are represented) and I’m having trouble coming up with Interrogatories, Requests for admissions, and documents to ask for. I know discovery requests are all uniquely tailored to each individual case but I figured in hearing what helped others cases I might get some ideas for mine. So, what Discovery Requests helped with your case?

3 Comments
2024/11/02
02:08 UTC

1

[TX]Grandparents filing for custody

How do we file for custody of a grandchild in Texas?

I am trying to help my MIL file for custody of my 4yo niece in [TX]. Both parents have agreed to sign over their parental rights as long as they are given a place to live for 3 months until they can save up enough money. We thought the SAPCR Uncontested was the form we needed however it my niece has not been in Texas for 6 months. She currently lives with my MIL who just bought a house in tx in August. We are unsure if we can use this document due to the residency issue. Both parents have agreed to sign and we are trying to get it done as soon as possible so they do not take off with her. They are supposed to be seeking alcohol and drug rehab as well as counseling for DV but have been using even though there is a cps investigation currently open and my niece is at risk of being put in foster care. She is nonverbal and it is our biggest fear that she be taken away from my MIL. Her parents know the risk but it hasn’t stopped them from using. I’ve gone to the courthouse to ask for help and they gave me the link to Texaslegal.org and texaslawhelp as well as the attorney general. They also referred us to cps investigator but he will not return our calls. We have checked the websites but I can figure out which documents we need. We want to do it right the first time and have no delays and we do not have faith in the CPS investigator. We contacted his supervisor because he was not very thorough in the initial investigation and we got a phone call from him telling us that he has done everything he needs to do we just weren’t around at the time and since then he has not been communicating with us. We are waiting for legal help but we just want to get things started as soon as possible. My niece is a bargaining chip to her parents and we do fear for her life. Any advice is appreciated.

4 Comments
2024/11/02
01:34 UTC

2

[CA] noncustodial parent late for pick up

So, the noncustodial parent is late by an hour to an hour and a half every weekend for her scheduled weekend. She does send a notification stating she will be an hour late, but how long should we wait if sometimes she passes that hour? The current court order does not specify anything about late pick-ups. it just gets difficult when it is every weekend.

2 Comments
2024/11/02
01:17 UTC

1

[CO] on call job vs custody

Ill try to explain this as well as I can but its hard to understand for those outside of medicine.

I work as a medical technologist where I spend the majority of my time “on call”. I work around 25-30 hours in the operating room and the rest of the time I spend being available. Currently I have my kids 6/14 days. But I’m contemplating dropping my time with them down to 5/14 days for the sake of keeping my job. The 6th day is a Tuesday and although i don’t want to give it up because i don’t want to pay my ex any more money, and also i love having them at my house. It may be more sustainable in the long run. On Tuesdays sometimes I come and go on my parenting time multiple times. Gone in the AM and then called back to work in the afternoon. Also expensive to pay someone all day.

The other option is to kind of blow up my entire living situation. Downgrade my house, work part time and then have them truly 7/14 days.

I feel like I’m just stuck in a rock and a hard place. Today I got called into work at 4am, and if my children would have been there, I would have had to tell my job that I couldn’t come as they are both under 8 years old.

I feel like I’m very attached to my house and my children are too. It’s a 4 bedroom house and I’ve owned it for almost 10 years, I don’t really want to give it up.

Does anyone have any advice? My ex works part time as a nurse, and she does not want to co-parent with me at all.

8 Comments
2024/11/01
21:53 UTC

2

[KY] would you attempt a custody order change over this?

Looking for advice, I’m wondering what my chances would look like in court having overnights discontinued. My child’s [M9] father lives with his girlfriend at her 2-bedroom apartment. One bedroom belongs to his girlfriend’s teenager, the other bedroom is shared by my child, my ex, his girlfriend, and their infant twins.

Supposedly my son has his own bed, but is sharing the room with them. I don’t see how this is appropriate, but I’m wondering if a judge will care, seeing how he does have his own bed. He was previously sleeping in bed with the two adults before the babies were born but supposedly it’s not happening anymore.

Is this something you would attempt at changing your custody order over? I’m obviously not happy with this situation, nor is my child, but I’m not optimistic that a judge would grant any kind of change, based on my previous experiences at family court.

11 Comments
2024/11/01
19:39 UTC

1

[US] Not specified in court order but what ifs on missed visits ?

Hey all, quick question about if NCP doesn’t show for holiday visit time at the exchange location but what if they respond to pick up a different day or time during what should be their scheduled time?

Example, it’s Christmas vacation from school, should be at exchange for 9pm and will exchange again on January 5th. But if I show up, send my “here” message and then they act dumbfounded about the time. It’s almost an hour one way for both of us to meet.

Our order does not specify this. Given I’m going almost NC and not verifying times anymore. I can foresee an issue arising at these holiday exchanges. If they don’t show by 30 minutes of scheduled time, and I already arrived to meet, is it reasonable to suggest they come pick up at my home which is a little over an hour away to resume their parenting time?

7 Comments
2024/11/01
18:41 UTC

0

[NY] do absences affect custody?

Is 39 absences and 7 tardies excessive for a kindergartner?? I feel like that’s A LOT of missed days and now child is in 1st grade and we just found out they’re failing math. (Mom only told us now bc she realized dad has gained access to school accounts thanks to court orders) She also only said “child missed a lot of school last year bc they were sick” ok that’s fine if they are sick but 39 days when the doctor visits don’t add up to absences?? So far this year (1st grade, started mid September) there are only 4 absences but mom is about to take kid on a 2 week vacation right before fall break and again in spring before spring break. What if anything needs to be done? I feel like school should have sent a letter? I’m trying to keep my husband from losing his cool, he is livid that mom doesn’t seem to be taking school seriously but yet tried to terminate all his parental rights. Any advice greatly appreciated!

47 Comments
2024/11/01
17:04 UTC

4

[OK] My ex (M 32) is petitioning for more time instead of supervised visits and my son (M 13 in December) does not want to see him.

It has been over six years of back and forth in court where my ex falsely accused me of everything under the sun and was found multiple times to be a liar and unfit parent. We had a temporary agreement that he would see his father every other weekend thurs-sun. My son has not seen his father in over three years and he has no communication with him other than a few texts which are always initiated by him or me trying to reach his father. I now have full custody and he is allowed one hour supervised visitation the last Friday of every month. He is allowed to petition for more time after completing parenting classes (I am frustrated with this wording) and since he completed them years ago is refusing to comply with visitation and is suing me for more time. My son (13 M) has made it clear he does not want to see his father unsupervised until he has completed supervised visits (he says 20) because he does not feel safe with him and feels adandonded. He says he is more than happy to tell the court and his father this. His dad had a history of being emotionally abusive, forgetting to pick him up from school/take him to school, his house was filthy and he had drug paraphernalia next to my son's toothbrush and roaches everywhere my son was vacuuming up as a game. My question is, does anyone know how much my son's opinion matters and how I should proceed? I do have a lawyer but am looking for advice or experience. Thank you in advance. EDITIED for grammar.

8 Comments
2024/11/01
16:46 UTC

2

[IN] Step parent and emotional / verbal abuse

Shared physical custody a little over 60/40 with me being the primary custodial parent. 11 year old daughter goes to school in my town. Mom and step-dad lives about 40 minutes away, and they practice a mid-week overnight. Her step-dad is the one that transports her to and from town on her school days.

My daughter just confided last night ("You can't tell anyone that I told you this") that her step-dad yells at her on the trips, for talking, asking questions, I guess being an 11 year old? She said to the point that she has cried and had to call her mom from his phone for her mom to calm her down.

On top of this, my daughter has stated that he holds grudges, gives her the silent treatment when he isn't yelling at her or her mom.

My partner and I have noticed her seeming off lately when she's come home a handful of times, and we've asked her about it but she's said she's fine. This now all lines up with what she told me. When asked if she would prefer me to transport her instead of step-dad, she animatedly said yes. After she just unloaded all of her concerns and feelings, she said "Maybe I need a therapist." Jesus.

I plan to bring this up with mom (have already reached out saying we need to talk), but I imagine she will downplay the situation. She has stated that her partner has aspergers, and a quick search shows that they struggle to regulate emotions. Regardless of any diagnosis, I am not cool with my daughter being the emotional and verbal punching bag of some guy just because he's taken on the responsibility of her transportation.

If mom brushes this off, what are next steps? At what point does being a dick cross over into emotional and verbal abuse. Daughter is an A student, with the kindest heart and the best manners. She does not deserve this.

Any help from experience or guidance would be appreciated.

11 Comments
2024/11/01
14:22 UTC

1

[FL] signing of relocation petition

I’m wondering if I should reach out to my lawyer. I’m filing for relocation; the associate attorney and I finalized the petition on September 27th. She told me she would let the attorney know and they will reach out to me for the signing.

It’s been over a month now, should I reach out or wait longer? I understand they have other clients but kind of confused why it’s taking over a month to set up a signing. How long should I wait?

3 Comments
2024/11/01
13:24 UTC

2

[PA] Custody Agreement

Hello, me and my daughters mother decided to come to an agreement using the website custody x change and submit it to court. We both currently live in Pa but she wants to move out of state and maybe i would like to as well some day. We went to the courthouse to start everything and submit the agreement we made with everything else, and got a letter in the mail to go to pre trial. Is this normal? Should i be concerned about anything?

2 Comments
2024/11/01
11:43 UTC

0

[CO] advice

I am 39 weeks pregnant and due soon, i am not with the baby’s father. We are going to be co parenting but he wants to do a week on week off schedule (7 days me and 7 days him) and I will be letting him know soon that schedule will not work until he’s older. I am going to be breastfeeding is why and i know i can pump but i am not going to be producing enough for an additional weeks worth, it is going to take me a couple months to build up my supply. I will also be letting him know that he can visit anytime he wants but during most of my maternity leave , which i am on right now, but i will be staying inside trying to heal and he will be with me especially because of how much babies feed. He also currently does not have a car right now and takes Ubers and Lyfts everywhere he goes and I am not comfortable with our son being in an Uber especially since it is rsv and flu season. Am i being irrational? I have not sent the message yet but i just wanted to get everyone’s opinion on this to see what everyone thinks. Any advice would be greatly appreciated 🙏🏼

5 Comments
2024/11/01
11:39 UTC

3

[SC] custody

To start I am in SC, my ex and I were never married but he is on the BC. Ok so my daughter is 2 years old, her father left sc and went to Va on May 12, 2024 and has not seen her since. I broke up with him due to him watching porn and touching himself in the bed that my daughter was also in. He now is saying he wants overnights for a week at a time. My daughter also has not had a diaper rash since he left ( she did have a lot) she also use to clench her body and scream when I changed her diaper (since he left she no longer does). I physically and emotionally can not let her do overnights with him. Does anyone have any advice or suggestions. I have contacted lawyers and am waiting to be contacted back… thank you for reading and helping if possible.

4 Comments
2024/11/01
06:43 UTC

2

[Az]&[NV]Deciding If it'd be a better idea to go through mediation and make an "agreement" or just go through with the long process of court.

My ex lives in NV I live in AZ, we have two kids. It's been a year since I made a very.... planned exit. Which was only because every time j tried to leave before was met with EXTREME violence to the point of the kids having to run and get neighbors for my help..my ex has turned his life around, he wants to be with me badly but I never ever want to put myself through that again. Which he doesn't understand. But he's working now (even tho he lives with his parents), doesn't do drugs, doesn't sleep all day, and his temper and emotions are better also. I made a visit out there for the kids break in Aug and the things he is caught up on about court is this 147 days thing. Saying over and over "I'll pay whatever you want just don't bring Child Support onto me...even tho I already filed.... I know he doesn't really want the kids 147 days tho. He just wants the paper to say that. He said he will take them on all the breaks when the kids are out of school. I feel okay with this, i just have a gut feeling there is some underlining thing going on. He keeps saying that he wants No Lawyers with the agreement. That scares me because he is very persuasive. Can have me turned against myself in a 30 seconds. I'm just nervous ....thank you ♡ (I didn't proof read)

6 Comments
2024/11/01
05:30 UTC

1

[CA] Co-Parent Counseling Ordered – Seeking Advice for Dealing with a Narcissistic Ex

This morning, the judge ordered us to attend co-parent counseling, which I know is fairly standard in high-conflict custody cases. The issue is, my STBX (soon-to-be-ex) is at the root of our communication problems. She couldn’t communicate effectively during our marriage, and it hasn’t improved during our custody battle. Her communication skills are so poor that we had to implement a 48-hour response requirement on Our Family Wizard (OFW) just to get basic replies regarding the health and well-being of our daughter. To illustrate how bad it is: she even hired an attorney to serve me divorce papers via email—no conversation, no text, nothing.

The irony? She’s the one who pushed for co-parent counseling—not to improve communication, but to have an authority figure step in and make decisions for us. In her eyes, this isn’t about collaboration; it’s about validating that she’s right and I’m wrong. For context, marriage counseling failed, she refused family counseling altogether, and mediation collapsed in under five minutes when it didn’t go her way. Now, we’re involving another counselor to help with decisions related to our daughter.

My STBX is highly narcissistic and constantly finds ways to manipulate and triangulate situations. I frequently find myself in double binds, where any answer I give is deemed wrong and later weaponized in her court filings. My attorney and I don’t believe co-parent counseling is necessary since we’re already communicating adequately through OFW. This feels like yet another attempt on her part to wield control or shift blame.

What’s even more frustrating is her inability to make important decisions without deferring to an authority figure, usually her mother. This co-parent counselor is not meant to fill that role, and I suspect she’s mistaken it for that of a guardian ad litem. I doubt she’ll want a guardian once she realizes she’d be expected to follow their orders.

Has anyone else faced a situation where one party was clearly the communication problem? What strategies or advice do you have for navigating co-parent counseling with a difficult, narcissistic co-parent? I’d appreciate any tips on protecting myself and ensuring the process remains productive.

Thanks in advance for any advice or shared experiences!

1 Comment
2024/11/01
05:05 UTC

5

[PA] My ex-husband has been giving our 13 year old son alcohol

My (37f) ex-husband (38m) and I have joint custody of both of our kids (15f, 13m). He gets them every other weekend and every other holiday. He is an alcoholic, which is one of the many reasons we are divorced.

My daughter told me the other day that she is worried about her brother. She said that every time she and her brother go to her dads, their dad is drinking with people. She said my son will ask my ex if he can have a beer and my ex GIVES him beer!

My daughter told me that my son will drink enough beer to get drunk with his dad. Sometimes their dad even gives him liquor. Again, my son is 13 years old and only 90 lbs! She said her brother is usually hung over on Sundays when they come home. I did notice that he has been exceptionally grumpy and goes to bed pretty early Sunday nights.

I did have a stern talk with my son and I will certainly be speaking with my ex about this. My son said last weekend his dad gave him four beers and a mixed drink, he said he was drunk.

Has anyone ever been through something like this? I don’t feel comfortable sending the kids to their father’s house now. How can I prove that he has been giving my son alcohol without having evidence?

12 Comments
2024/11/01
00:41 UTC

1

[PA] school districts?

how does a court room determine school district if both parents are 50/50 but don’t agree on school district?

1 Comment
2024/10/31
19:46 UTC

7

[WA]- How are you all affording lawyer fees?

We just got done with our consultation today to pursue custody and a modification of the parenting plan. The deposit is $15,000 to get everything started. We dont have that available today but can pay it in split transactions depending on when our business clients pay too.

Our son's situation needs immediate relief so there's a lot of anxiety and a sense of urgency going around to keep son safe (multiple exposure to DV). Time is our greatest enemy right now.

10 days have already passed since the last incident and then more days are going to pass too because spouse and I dont have 15k readily available today. We just got off the phone with a lender and we dont know if we're going to get approved. If we are, access to funds wont happen until after 48 hours.

How do you get that kind of money available to pay today? What do I do? Will letting a few days go by until we can pay affect our case negatively?

Edit: Loan wasnt approved 😮‍💨😞

33 Comments
2024/10/31
18:30 UTC

12

[NY] ex refused custody time for over a year and the judge doesn't seem to care?

My ex hasn't had them for overnights in 14 months and we're supposed to be 50/50. I hired a lawyer and dragged her to court to get full custody and cease my child support payments and now she says she wants them back! The judge sees nothing wrong with going back to 50/50 and isn't interested in hearing why they were with me full time for that long, or awarding me any compensation for legal fees. I just, what the hell is going on? Has anyone else gone through this? She doesn't work, no car, no phone, lives with her boyfriend who doesn't charge her rent or anything. Does anyone have any advice? She dodged 6 court appearances with this judge, got a public defender for the 7th, and now he appears to be giving her a pass with out even knowing anything... I'm really frustrated

38 Comments
2024/10/31
17:56 UTC

1

[PA] Can I Change schools?

Monday, I took my ex husband who was the primary parent to court for emergency custody for my two children ages 7 and 14. I received sole legal and primary physical. He has partial custody with supervised custody designated at his cousin's house every other week. My kids are currently enrolled in the Daniel Boone school district and I've exhausted so much of my PTO getting them to and from school which is 1-2 hours each way depending on traffic. Am I within my rights to enroll our children in my local school district. I did tell the judge I could get my children to school, but I did not mean that school. I meant school in my area. My ex, who is not pleased with this situation keeps making threats of further legal action if I change schools. My order says sole legal. I'm keeping him informed of what is going on and my intentions. I just don't want to risk putting my children in danger again. I'm in a rock and a hard place. I need to work to provide and driving 4 hours a day is inhibiting me from going to work. The local schools are 10 and 15 minutes walkable distance from me. Am I correct that sole legal means that I am able to make this choice?

8 Comments
2024/10/31
17:49 UTC

0

[MS] How to get supervised visitation.

Located in MISSISSIPPI, given theses fact, what is the likelyhood for me to win sole physical and legal custody and ONLY supervised visits for dad. -He’s a convicted felon, sentence to probation a few years ago. -Drug and Alcohol Abuse. He smokes weed, eats mushrooms, not sure what other drugs…He also drinks throughout the day. I have a YouTube video of him smoking weed, appearing high, and drinking. I have a picture of a wrecked vehicle from him driving drunk but no dui record. Marijuanna is illegal in MS. Is the video of him smoking and drinking sufficient enough evidence to request a drug and alcohol test?

-He’s never been to a doctors appointment, daycare drop off or pickup. The child has never stayed with him over night. -He’s always been allowed to see the child anytime he ask either at my fathers home or his mothers home which is his last known record of address. He rarely ask for visits because he prefers to take the child to an unsafe environment where the drugs and alcohol are being used. -He’s never assisted financially. -Not on child support. -Child is almost 4.

100% of the parenting has been on me.

What additional evidence can I use do to prove he’s unfit and needs supervised visits?

Any help or advice is appreciated!🙏🏾

2 Comments
2024/10/31
17:11 UTC

2

[CA] Automatic Custody when Unmarried

Does anyone know who has custody of a new baby if parents are unmarried?

If the father signs for voluntary paternity/parentage and signs the birth cert, is he entitled to take the child or does he still need to seek that in court?

Me and my partner decided our relationship isn't working out. We are unmarried with a 2 month old. We want to split peacefully. He hasn't been much help since pregnancy. I'm worried if I move out, he will try to stop me by not allowing our baby to leave. I'm ok to set up custody through the courts or mediation but until then, does mom usually have custody until that established? Or is it automatic 50/50

7 Comments
2024/10/31
16:57 UTC

2

[US] how has communication worked out when..

Hello all. I have a high conflict co parent. I’ve attempted to offer extra time to help my child have more opportunity with his father. It backfires because he didn’t read the message about the time, resulting in issues right before pick up times.

So I’ve come to the conclusion that I won’t offer extra time on my own accord any longer. We live over an hour away and have an exchange point for meeting. I always double check the same day that it’s occurring based on history of cancels and no shows and avoid showing up if he’s not, also trying to minimize child’s disappointment if he didn’t show. However, based on this last attempt I think I’m done doing that too.

I’m always met with hostility and passive aggressive responses or straight berating with name calling. I do my best to be very simple and factual on when a message was sent that I’m verifying, giving updates on doctor visits, or extra activities I’ve enlisted child in. With 99% of the time I get no response.

So my question is how has things gone with a high conflict parent when minimized to practically no contact? Our communication is already very minimal. But I’ve come to the conclusion to no longer verify days or holidays or updates. He has our child’s school calendar, and the court document of how rotation is suppose to occur.

I was thinking to just show up when I’m suppose to, wait 15-30 minutes (nothing in order about this) if he’s not there. Then leave if no show and will follow a text when we get back home for documentation purposes? Or just document solo in another way? To avoid conflicted messages? I’m not sure. Any insight on this?

Or what if he misses the scheduled start time, then says a different day later to meet instead? Am I obligated to meet again after already driving on the day it’s suppose to be? It’s not explicitly mentioned in the order.

Our court order is a basic order with him having every other weekend, rotated holidays coinciding with his school vacations, and summer vacation time equally (3weeks) which are never taken.

8 Comments
2024/10/31
16:13 UTC

4

[MI] Relocation with no custody case in place as the Mother.

So he’s on the birth certificate and signed the affidavit of parentage, I’ve been living with him since living in Michigan but we recently broke up. Our daughter is 15 months / 1 years old. I would like to move back to my home state with my family since I have no friends or family in the state of Michigan. I’ve talked to the free legal advice hotline as well as an attorney from West Michigan Legal Aid who both have stated I have no legal bounding and I can leave the state. The free hotline stated I can file for emergency jurisdiction as well and both stated I can fight the case in my home state with an attorney for my representative. My main concern is that he’s granted a way for me to have to bring back my daughter even if I do I have no one to stay with here. I’m looking to save $$ to move out but since he’s restricting the car I don’t have $$ for uber/lyft and the bus line doesn’t go to my current job. I have to work around his work schedule which this job is the only one to have that freedom to do so. He is also pressuring me to leave this apartment it’s not in my name, just his it was his before I moved here. My choice currently is a shelter or leave state.

My question is, if I do leave to my home state and he files which I’m sure he will file what can I expect? I’ve scoured the internet for information but it’s either yes I’ll have to return my child or no I won’t. Do I need to get another opinion on this?

More added details:

• He has a marijuana problem, he smoked heavily and is always high when around our daughter. I have no issue with weed but I’ve been told by the Legal Aid Attorney that this can help my case. • I’ve been the primary caregiver since I was a SAHM until we broke up, even know while working I still am primary caregiver. I make the appts, I take her to the appts, I make her meals, I take care of her while she’s sick, etc etc. All while he’s home. He prefers to stay on his phone or play video games during the time he’s home thus even resulting in her going under water during her bath. • Emotional & Financial abuse plays apart of our relationship, I’ve tried to get more hours or job and he will restrict car access from me. He’s gotten into my face and yelled “Get TF Out!” on two accounts in front of our daughter, Isolated, I’ve been basically bound to this apartment as well as gaslighting, controlling and I’m constantly getting blamed for everything. He’s become even more unpredictable and usually when he’s angry he will start to get into my face or throw things around me, or even hit himself. He’s never been physical abusive to me. • This I learned after I was already well pregnant that he has a criminal charge of SA of a minor.. he was 18 and she was 14 both were in high school at the time. I’ve checked the SO list and he isn’t listed but it is on his record. •He at first stated he wanted just every other weekends but now wants every other week. I don’t trust him to be alone with her not for his record but because he doesn’t take care of her, he will ask me what to feed her, he will tend to leave her in her diaper because he’s too preoccupied on his phone &/or video games.

28 Comments
2024/10/31
11:36 UTC

6

[FL] What should I do? My ex took my baby 1000 miles away from me.

I’m in shambles and I’m going crazy over here. My ex decided to move to Massachusetts from Florida where I currently reside, with my daughter(1year, 1month.) She’s already filed for child support in Massachusetts and is just now telling me a week after being out there. We were unmarried and no court cases prior to her moving. She lied to me and said she was in Atlanta, Georgia seeing Family. So I paid no mind to it I was feeling uneasy for a few days prior to knowing and she asked me to send her $160 for diapers and wipes. I grew skeptical because why would she buy in bulk in Atlanta I thought no more of it though because I wouldn’t think she’d do that. She texted me the next day saying she had to tell me something. When I called she let me know how she lied about being in GA and that her and her mom packed everything and moved to Boston, Massachusetts with my kid. She said her reason was to find jobs and wanted my kid bro grow up there. Where she has no family on both sides. I’m still shaking honestly from the news. I knew I should’ve put myself on child support before she left but it’s too late now. I was trying to avoid the court system looking out for her and myself. We co parented well. She told me she lied and didn’t tell me was because I was going to flip out and file for custody asap. So she didn’t tell me until she was settled in. What can I do? I want at least joint custody. I have her for a month and she has her for a month. I don’t care how much I pay I just want to be physically there for my daughter. Can I force her to move back to Florida? I have consultations coming up later today speaking with a lawyer but I want more opinions or people view points on how long distance custody works. Please help me!

37 Comments
2024/10/31
07:41 UTC

2

[TX] Temporary Custody Question

About 2 weeks ago me and my husband had to go get his little sister (14) from their parents house because she accused their father of SA. She is now living with us but we do not have guardianship of her yet.

She wants to have a sleepover at her best friends house but we are not sure if we are allowed to let her go to somebody else’s house overnight. Could we get into trouble for letting her go?

Any advise about this and anything else having to do with taking custody of a child that’s not yours would be greatly appreciated.

2 Comments
2024/10/31
01:40 UTC

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[OK] Do I have any options?

The TLDR version of this is that my ex reached out to me 7 months after receiving a decision for 50/50 custody (he was gone for 3 years and did 2 years every other weekend). He’s asking to start the 50/50 plan now, after months of not mentioning it. He does see them every other weekend.

I always assumed he just wanted the decision because of child support, which at this point, is whatever. He doesn’t want to pay, fine. Let me raise the kids and we’ll call it even. He actually has never paid child support officially so nothing really changed on my end.

I have been keeping record of things that have been happening and the kids’ behaviors that seem concerning (not wanting to visit, mentioned they have no where to sleep of their own when they’re there — we have older kids)… but now I’m just… paralyzed thinking about going 50/50 if he continues to push.

Do I have a viable options here?

11 Comments
2024/10/31
00:31 UTC

3

[LA] Tax/claiming a child for non-legal custodian

To be brief, my 14 year old cousin has lived with me for over a year. I provide everything for her, get her to school and her medical appointments. Her father is out of the picture and her mother is a piece of shit who has effectively abandoned her. Has come to see her once and barely texts. Our state is Louisiana

I'm not the legal custodian - I'm trying to get her mother to sign something for temporary guardianship, but she refuses to go before a notary. I believe she's afraid it will effect her benefits.

My questions are: Am I supposed to, or even legally allowed, to claim the child if she has been in my physical custody throughout 100% of the year, although I am not a legal guardian?

What would would happen if her mother and I both claim her? I have no idea if her mother even does taxes, but I know she uses the child for foodstamps and her own medicaid. I don't know if I'm legally supposed to report the child has been with me for over a year.

Or is this a question better for the tax subreddit

Edit: to add, the child gets medicaid through her mother. I'm more than willing to get her insured through my workplace, but I didnt know if any type of claim would effect this

5 Comments
2024/10/30
20:43 UTC

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[NY] Never filed agreement

I have been divorced now and am doing a 50/50 custody agreement. I went to Family Court for the first time ever today because we used a mediator when we made the original divorce agreement.

We have a 9 year old boy and a 6 year old girl who is autistic.

We have two agreements: one is the original divorce agreement that says every other weekend and he pays me child support.

Then there was a full addendum we paid for where it changed to 50/50 custody scheduled. I am looking to get this agreement changed because their dad has been cutting off communication, threatening my life and my partners life to my son, and my son does not want to go to his house and has been very vocal about that. He is very emotionally, mentally, at times physically abusive to me and to the children (“spanking” excessively, screaming, to the point where my son had to contact me because he was so upset and then their dad won’t allow phones there now.) if my name is mentioned by the kids, their dad gets very upset.

When the teacher said his behavior was escalating at school this week and that he was increasingly upset, particularly around times when my son had to go to his dads, it made me go to Family Court and get advice.

The lawyer and I figured out that the addendum had never even been filed in court. So “technically” our current schedule is breaching the contract they have on file.

Today, I signed a petition for a change of circumstance which says that the schedule is not working. Would the addendum not being filed make a difference?

And any advice is helpful but the petition has been put in today.

Thanks

2 Comments
2024/10/30
18:43 UTC

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