/r/deaf

Photograph via snooOG

There are many distinct Deaf communities around the world, which communicate using different sign languages and exhibit different cultural norms. Deaf identity also intersects with other kinds of cultural identity. Deaf culture intersects with nationality, education, race, ethnicity, gender, class, sexual orientation, and other identity markers, leading to a culture that is at once quite small and also tremendously diverse.

We have a Discord: https://discord.gg/ae8T8pG

There are many distinct Deaf communities around the world, which communicate using different sign languages and exhibit different cultural norms. Deaf identity also intersects with other kinds of cultural identity. Deaf culture intersects with nationality, education, race, ethnicity, gender, class, sexual orientation, and other identity markers, leading to a culture that is at once quite small and also tremendously diverse.

The range of Deaf experience can vary from the late-deafened to the deaf from birth, from being a bit hard of hearing to totally d/Deaf, from being a member of the Deaf community to those who are immersed in the hearing world, and from personal experience to friends/family of Deaf/HoH. All are welcome here regardless of your personal hearing circumstances.

Wikipedia: Deaf Culture

We have a Discord!


POSTING GUIDELINES:

  • Please read the stickied FAQ.

  • Research requests, homework interview requests, and questions on how to write deaf/HoH characters must be pre-approved by moderators. We reserve the right to remove any posts there that lack obvious effort/insight, and here's why.

  • Self-promotion is only allowed with prior approval by the mod team, and is generally discouraged as this community isn't really about that. If you are a deaf artist who wishes to show your art from time to time that's fine. If you're selling crap, don't bother. Also, don't ask for money.

  • Have an idea about a haptic/tactile/speech/signing device/app/product for the deaf? Please read this comment first!

  • Do not ask any medical questions. We will tell you to go see a doctor instead of consulting random strangers on the Internet for medical advice.

  • Any questions about "deaf voice" will be removed.

  • We reserve the right to remove self-pitying posts. Venting is acceptable, but wishing for self-destruction is not acceptable. Please consult a mental care provider in your area or contact Deaf Counseling Center for help.

  • Sign Language questions (including sign names!) should be posted in /r/asl, /r/bsl/, or /r/linguistics. If you wish to practice your Sign Language and want to video chat, try /r/DeafSkype.

  • Before posting a question, please use the search engine to make sure that it hasn't already been asked. For example, questions about what forms deaf people's thought take in are rather common.

  • Requests to lipread / speechread will be removed. Your guess is as good as ours as to what they're saying.

  • Videos without proper captioning may be removed. YouTube's auto-generated captions are not a suitable substitution for manually provided subtitles. If the video is entirely in Sign Language, please post a Written English summary in the comments for those who don't know Sign Language.

  • Crossposts from other subreddits should be limited to positive topics or issues related to the deaf/HoH community. Obvious karmafarming or brigading crossposts will be removed, and repeat offenders will be banned.

  • Please report any posts that fail to match these guidelines.


Have a question for us? Check our wiki first!


Related Subreddits

/r/ASL

/r/APD

/r/bsl

/r/Auslan

/r/ASLinterpreters

/r/hearing

/r/mute

/r/AudiProcDisorder/

/r/monohearing

/r/Cochlearimplants

/r/hardofhearing

/r/opencaptions


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 GA to SK

/r/deaf

40,529 Subscribers

1

Stepped outside of my comfort zone today

I never go out without my hearing aids. If I'm with my family they want me to be able to understand them so that's rubbed off and now I'm scared to not have at least some idea of what's going on around me audibly.

Today though, in a crowded mall I turned them off. I was with my boyfriend who knows ASL so honestly it felt freeing. I didn't have to worry about understanding speech or having hearing fatigue. I knew if there was something I needed to know he'd relay it to me, and he did many times. He told me that he got a few weird looks from people when he'd grab me to move me over a bit after they said excuse me but hey they can look all they like. I actually enjoyed a mall trip for the first time in a long time. My advice to those of you who are worried about understanding others over your own comfort is to cut yourself some slack. You have been pushing yourself to understand them, now it's their turn to give that effort into communication. You don't have to fit into the hearing world's standard, sometimes we need a hearing break.

0 Comments
2024/11/02
20:42 UTC

17

Has anyone gotten angry at you for being HOH?

I dated a girl, maybe a decade ago. I am HOH deaf in my right ear, 80% hearing in the left. I generally stand in the right side if people as well as read lips. Everything was fine for the first while with communication, however, eventually she began to get angry if I asked her to repeat herself. It ended with her yelling at me a few times for saying “pardon” to a question. I didn’t really know how to react, it’s not like i can control it. I eventually ended it. Another time a guy tried to fight me because I needed the “closed captioning” turned on, on the TV. He Said he couldn’t see the while picture. Anyone ever meet any total a$$holes being HOH?

20 Comments
2024/11/02
18:10 UTC

3

Deaf person looking for a study buddy to study written Japanese and/or JSL together.

I tried visiting a website where you can find a buddy to study on a same topic, but unfortunately I couldn't find anyone who can sign ASL like me.

I've been studying Japanese Sign Language and written Japanese on and off (and likewise for Swedish), and it can be difficult to keep myself motivated all the time when it's just by myself. So I thought I'll come here and see if anyone here share the same goals as I do, and also can sign. Nice to meet you, by the way!

3 Comments
2024/11/02
17:19 UTC

0

Question about "deaf accent"

Can you develop a deaf accent if you are late-deaf? Like, if you are going deaf or HoH and need hearing aids now, but didn't have as much trouble as a kid?

Sorry if it seems like a weird question! Just wanna know if that's a thing that could happen to me, or if that's just a thing that occurs for those that are HoH/deaf at an earlier age. Don't know how to phrase it sorry!!

10 Comments
2024/11/02
17:09 UTC

51

"I fel so bad for you" okay, I don't 😂

Some hearing people really don't know how to converse with us deafies 😅 I was just hanging out with 2 friends (both hearing) at a bar, nothing big but we wanted to catch up. Then comes along this guy trying to approach me, my friend immediately tells him I'm Deaf. He looked like he didn't know what to do at first which I understand, then finally he started writing something down. I thought "oh hell yeah that's nice of him" but then I get to see what he wrote. It said "I feel so bad for you because you can't listen to music." That's the first thing you tell me? What happened to "hello, how are you?" 😂

I took the moment as an opportunity to explain that as a multiinstrumentalist, I definitely can enjoy music in my own way. It didn't anger or upset me, but regardless though, it was still an awkward situation.

13 Comments
2024/11/02
13:35 UTC

6

Theatre Interpreters. Thoughts?

I am a student in New Zealand studying NZSL interpreting. And we're currently doing an assignment on interpreting contexts, and I wanted to do mine on theatre.

What are you thoughts on theatre interpreters overall? Do you think they actually give full access to the performance, or is the fact that they are off to the side and not really a part of the performance restrict access? What are your experiences? I'm very curious to know!

Thanks!

2 Comments
2024/11/02
10:34 UTC

0

Panicking about a growing movement against using the term “tone deaf”

Hi everyone! I’ve recently started participating in HOH communities since diagnoses not specifically categorised as HOH, but I have double hearing aids.

Anyway, I’ve been really panicked about this thing lately. Discussions around the term ‘tone deaf’ have existed for a long time (as searching in this reddit can prove) and every single post I’ve seen has agreed that overall, it is not offensive* However I’ve seen so many posts (and even had people confront me personally) about how ableist the term is, there hasn’t ever been an explanation on why it is offensive though… I’m curious if this is a case of attitudes towards the term changing within the deaf and HOH community overall (*last post about it here was 2 years ago, so I’m not sure), or if this is a case of hearing folks speaking on your behalf as some kind of attempt at activism? The lack of people saying it’s offensive being able to explain why, makes me think it’s the latter. But if I have been unintentionally using terminology for myself that is offensive, I want to be educated.

I am autistic and struggle very severely with tone, so I have always described myself as tone deaf as I have found it an accurate explanation of my experience. It’s not as though in using it, i’m making fun of HOH experiences or undermining them. If anything (from my own perspective and use, as someone who is ND and have hearing related conditions) it is the opposite. It is an acknowledgment that deafness can be extremely difficult, it is a disability, just like the inability to read tone. By definition, deafness is a spectrum of impaired hearing. Impaired hearing can lead to misinterpretations, just as my impairment to tone can.

2 Comments
2024/11/02
04:40 UTC

8

Previously hearing people who now use a cochlear implant, what kind of sensation is it?

Kind of basic question but I got really curious. The way I’ve been told to think about CIs is that they don’t necessarily “make you hear”, so I’m wondering what it does instead of that.

Is it like a whole new type of sensing? Is it like hearing but radically different in some way? Is it pretty much the same as hearing just that it sounds different? Or maybe is it a thing where you know of a signal your brain sent you without sensing it consciously (like when some blind people can know what they’re looking at without seeing it).

the question might be weirdly formulated and it might be hard to answer, sorry!

14 Comments
2024/11/02
01:30 UTC

102

Dinner Party that made me cry from joy.

A few days ago me (SSD) and my husband where at a dinner celebrating a anniversary at his workplace. So we were about 10 couples or so at a smal higher end restaurant, so private room.

As anyone else who is deaf on one side knows. In such a situation where people are chatting up a storm, we are effectively fully deaf, it's all just one big loud ocean of sound.

I knew this would be the case, But I was like "sure I'll be isolated but it will be good food and good wine and my husband looks forward to this" so I went along with it.

But to my suprise, when another couple heard, I needed to sit next to my husband rather than across from him (as is customary) for him to be able to speak into my hearing ear or such they where insanely supportive.

Especially the wife of my husbands coworker made my entire evening. She made sure that she articulated more and kept me engaged in conversation. If she noticed me getting overwhelmed, she went outside for some fresh air with me.

It was genuinely such a small thing, but for me.. it was game-changing.. A dinner becoming something I sincerely enjoyed rather than a sacrifice I just did for my beloved.

6 Comments
2024/11/02
00:56 UTC

12

Constantly thinking about this new lady at work. Am I being ableist?

Hi, (37M) im not deaf. And totally ignorant when it comes to the subject. But ive been doing research and learning more about it.

So I was put in charge of training a small group of people at my job. We work remotely. When i was getting ready for the presentation the day before, my manager reached out to me and said “oh by the way Lisa (not her real name) is deaf, so make sure your captions work”. And i was like “wft” (in my head), i started to worry. I was thinking “omg, should i speak slowly?.. No, because the rest of the ground is going to think im weird… is going to be hard to read captions and look at what i'm showing on the screen at the same time, she’s going to get confused” (our line of work is very technical) i mean, i was thinking all kinds of stuff like that.

I started the training by greeting the group, and then i said “Lisa, can you see the captions?”, and she spoke (which surprised me) and confirmed she sees them. During the training she made a couple of questions, and her voice sounded pretty good, with a distinct… accent? I guess you would call it. But on her last question i could tell she was a bit lost. And it was slightly hard for me to understand a couple of her words when she spoke. But i did my best to answer her, and she replied back quickly by saying something like “oh, ok, i get it…” but i could tell she didn't, because she didn't let me finish. It was as if she didnt want to hold back the meeting with her questions, which made me feel bad because i wanted her to feel confident in her work. So i just made a mental note to reach out to her one-on-one to make sure she understood the material.

So fast forward to now, we reach out to each other at work often. She told me she’s new to the field, which is great because i love teaching.  And here is my problem: i am constantly thinking if she’s ok. I wonder if there are things at work that don't take her disability into account. Sometimes i feel like im overly empathetic because I worry so often. I can’t imagine how hard is to be deaf. Im also scared of coming across as a creep or something, idk. One day we where talking in private about work stuff and she said something like “she’s happy that i’ve been so helpful to her” and i told her that “im glad that she thinks that, because i always worry if she’s ok”.

It genuinely brings me joy to help her and i want her to succeed. but i wonder if im just being rude and ableist for thinking of her differently than the others.

29 Comments
2024/11/02
00:11 UTC

17

How often do you meet hearing signers in the wild?

For those of you who are Deaf/deaf, how often do you "randomly" encounter hearing people who can carry on a conversation in ASL (or your local sign language)? By "randomly", I mean the hearing person isn't an interpreter, spouse of your Deaf friend, etc., but rather someone you happened to meet at the grocery store, for instance.

29 Comments
2024/11/02
00:02 UTC

2

UK: Recently became deaf

Hello

I recently suffered with SSHL as my right ear was my savings grace. Left was already deaf.

Any advice or what I can do? BSL is definitely on my list but I don't have anyone to learn it with. 🙃

Any advice from the UK fellow D/deafies would be much appreciated and anybody else word of wisdom also appreciated. :)

15 Comments
2024/11/01
22:05 UTC

1

sensor interphone vibra

This is where I'm talking about, I need a device to stick on the intercom to detect the ringing sound because I don't want to buy a Sub intercom and I don't want to mess with the building's wiring. Point indicates a product that alerts the cell phone to the vibration detected from the intercom. No, I want to use the detector sound because it detects all intercoms in the building

0 Comments
2024/11/01
16:30 UTC

27

I matched on a dating app with a man who, prior to our first date, shared with me that he is deaf. He said he speaks and reads lips very well. Our pre-date texting has been fun and good banter. I’m looking forward to meeting in person. What would be helpful for me to know in advance of our date?

Any tips or suggestions to make him comfortable and also for me to be aware of? I’ve not really interacted with any deaf people before. We’re both in our 40s with kids fwiw

32 Comments
2024/11/01
16:24 UTC

1

Roger on in device in headset mode

Hi all, I am supporting someone to try and set up a phonak roger on in v2 to use in headset mode. The issue we are having is that the audio output on their computer is showing as the roger device but the input is not. When speaking to IT they said it could be to do with microphone drivers not being installed correctly. We’ve sent the device back to the supplier and it’s came back and we are still not seeing the audio input drop down. The supplier is saying it works on their computers but we’ve tried it with two company laptops and a personal laptop with no success. Have anyone experienced this or had any advice?

2 Comments
2024/11/01
13:38 UTC

0

Creating conlang

Hi, I'm HoH but I'm not deaf/Deaf and I don't use sign language on a daily basis, so I wanted to ask if it would be offensive to create a sign conlang for a fun project? I love Zelda and I'd love to make a sign conlang for Hyrule with different dialects but I'm not sure if it would be wrong. Thanks for any answers!

2 Comments
2024/11/01
12:22 UTC

2

Private hearing aids - question for the uk folks

Hey guys, hope this question is allowed, apologies if not! HOH girlie here.

So I broke one of my hearing aids (was taking them out before entering the club and dropped it, and someone stepped on it before I could pick it up 🤡). I have decided to try out private hearing aids, since the nhs waiting lists are insanity where I’m based, even though I’m actively in the department, and also because if I hate them then I can just return them during the trial period so why not.

I was just wondering if anyone has experience with boots hearing care or hearing aids uk, and how did you find it? I specifically have moderate to severe low frequency hearing loss with some mild high frequency sprinkled in for good measure which is a bit harder to program aids for, even on the nhs, so also wondering if you guys have any specific model recommendations for this, I know everyone is different and different hearing aids suit different people, but was wondering if in general there were any models that could be promising. Thank you so much!

6 Comments
2024/11/01
09:59 UTC

5

Hard of hearing pin.

Hello! Im someone who isnt exactly deaf, but i am hard of hearing. Sometimes my hearing goes out, and i cant really understand what someone is saying to me even if standing next to me. My hearing tests come back for the most part normal, yet i dont understand why i cant hear. ive had multiple surgies done to correct my hearing. All of which backfired and only made my hearing worse.

So now im struggling, i can barley hear and highschool is terrible. I have so many peers trying to talk to me, but i feel so rude when i keep going. " huh? Huh? What? " over and over no matter how loud they get. I want to wear a pin that says hard of hearing, simply so that people can understand that im not ignoring them or being stubborn, i just simply cant hear. Would it be wrong? Im not offically dignosed with anything yet, but i am hard of hearing.

5 Comments
2024/11/01
04:55 UTC

22

Is this discrimination in the doctor's office?

As in the title. Our PCP office can't remember that my spouse is hard of hearing and always calls to confirm appointments, can't be bothered to text and their patient portal does not respond or inform about the visit. Since they installed an automated prescription line, the human factor vanished and it's next to impossible to contact them. We already missed a visit and had a medication refill denied. Can we get unpleasant or is it better just to change the provider and never think twice?

17 Comments
2024/11/01
04:10 UTC

15

Soon to be CI user!!!

Hey everyone! My name is Bella, I have hereditary hearing loss and have worn hearing aids for 14 years. I am 21 years old.

I recently got approved to get one cochlear implant, and I was wondering if anyone has any tips or kind words because I am quite nervous, but also excited! I’m interested in what life is like for bimodal people and the struggles of adjusting to new hearing..

my dad wears cochlear implants as does many of my family members, but it would be nice to get the perspective of a stranger! Also, anyone in the Reno area hmu!

3 Comments
2024/10/31
22:56 UTC

9

Recently deaf

I had a surgery 2 months ago and now I'm deaf at 61 and having a hard time dealing with it. One of my biggest problems is learning to keep my voice down. It causes problems at home because people think I'm yelling at them. How do you learn to keep your voice down ? I'm also still walking with a walker after being in a hospital bed for 2 months. I have a son with downs and when he saw the walker it scared the heck out of him. We seemed to have gotten over that scare. Anyway, if anyone can help with the loud talking that would be great, my ears are ringing so loud it's like I have to be louder. ~ Lis

7 Comments
2024/10/31
07:34 UTC

16

Have you seen this video??

There is a young man who has a YouTube channel basically about him learning and speaking many different languages. He's now learning ASL via DuoLingo. He does a pretty good job as a beginner.

15 Comments
2024/10/31
07:27 UTC

47

The Japanese’s attitudes toward Deaf people and people with disabilities in general

I recently moved to Hawaii from mainland U.S. and I’m working on getting accustomed to the Japanese people’s social customs. I find them to be standoffish and emotionless, almost rude, but I realize this is just their culture and I’m working on getting used to it. This got me to wondering about the Japanese people’s views and attitudes towards Deaf people as well as other people with disabilities. Do they share more or less the same views as Americans do and don’t treat us as outcasts, lepers, beneath them, so on? Do their people with disabilities have the same level of governmental support and protections like in the U.S., e.g., the Americans with Disabilities Act, federal ban on discrimination in the workplace and in housing, equal access in education, so on? Do their disabled people have the same opportunities as we do? I’m curious to know so I’ll know more of what to expect from my interactions with the Japanese here. Are they pretty much us but with different social customs or do they fundamentally hold to a different set of social and cultural values to the point of some values being offensive to most Westerners, e.g., racism. I have the feeling it’s the latter but I want input from those more familiar with Japanese culture than myself.

26 Comments
2024/10/31
04:50 UTC

2

Advice

As said before, the NHS grades my hearing loss as Bilateral Sensorineural hearing loss in the mild to moderate range*. Usually, I opt to go for Hard of Hearing, but am starting to wonder if I should start owning my deaf identity more. Can I even use deaf??

[ It’s unclear if this is as bad as it will get, for me, but I often get huge fluctuations in my ability to hear each day… I recently had an appointment with my GP where he said something like “it would be hard to prove eligibility, for support, based on the fact you are so borderline” ( about a different diagnosis ) and I can’t help but find myself realising that his comment applies to a huge chunk of my life including my hearing… ]

14 Comments
2024/10/30
23:01 UTC

34

Being deaf in public?

I'm profoundly deaf in both ears, with Cochlear implants. I wasn't like this when I was way young, but I'm pretty much 100% hearing/oral. Going out in public is a struggle for me sometimes, and I feel like hearing might be part of it. For example, I have to put on my processors and mentally prepare myself for possible interactions and you know, working to hear and understand unfamiliar voices and sounds... so, basically hearing fatigue. Also, being in public just makes me anxious in general.

Recently though I realized that I could just *not hear* if I wanted to. Just take off my processors and remove the whole hearing fatigue part of daily life. But then how do I navigate the world as a deaf person, not as someone who just has a hard time understanding things sometimes? Instead of masking as a hearing person? It's a strange question isn't it....

22 Comments
2024/10/30
22:51 UTC

3

AR (AI) Glasses

Hello,

As you see, everyone has been discussing about the hot trending about AR (AI) Glasses on social media and how it impact them and does it improve their communication needs and so forth. I decided to write a blog more detailed all about all companies that develop and sell the AI Glasses so you can get better point of view and make the right decision before an purchase. I want to hear anyone's opinion and if you already have one, I am curious on yours too.

I will post the article link if allowed later on. This is exciting journey for us because I want to more understand and see what AR Glasses does really benefit for the Deaf community!

Cheers everyone.

8 Comments
2024/10/30
20:16 UTC

26

Welcoming Deaf players to a new Minecraft server! (Season 3)

Hello everyone! I am hosting a Minecraft (Java) Server in Survival mode and I welcome anyone from the Deaf community who want to try out playing on a new fresh world.

Restrictions would be no killing, no raiding, and no griefing. This server should be a place to relax and have a good time. Also, I don't encourage using voice chat and use traditional chat instead, as I don't want anyone to feel left out.

We have Discord channel as well--and sometimes we set up video chat so we can use sign language to talk and play at same time. Anyone is free to stream their game, too. It's still up to you if you want to join our video chat, but you don't have to.

Sent a PM to me your player name and I'll send an invite!

20 Comments
2024/10/30
16:34 UTC

10

First hearing aid thoughts

I got my first hearing aid this past month. I got the Phillips 9050 with the new AI feature. I'm disliking how it connects to the hearing aid automatically so much since I'm only using one HA right now. I'm slowly going deaf in the other ear so I'm going to have to start saving again for another one. It does this garble sound very very briefly and I'm not sure if that's the AI feature that is trying to adjust with the sound. Often comes when noises are really loud and abrupt. I told the audiologist about it, they don't know what it could be.

I also have been having a hard time adjusting to the new sounds. My loss has been all upper and most middle ranges. I'm finding myself over stimulated and can't handle the extra noise when I'm stressed and have to remove the HA. I'm starting to understand why some people don't want the HAs and embrace their hearing loss. I think I might be one of them. I'm trying to learn ASL on my own but I'm wanting to get out and meet more people. I was at the beginning really sad about my loss but now I want some peace and quiet. Noises are so so loud but if I lower the volume then I don't hear the talking. I hate people eating and the scraping of their dishes or coughing. Ugh. It used to be muted and now I know how loud everyone is and it's almost too much.

I did go in for a readjustment which helped a lot. I don't know. I'm just so new. I've been told it's harder to get used to the high pitches sounds.

4 Comments
2024/10/30
15:23 UTC

25

Question for help translating a comic about a Deaf girl

(I see deaf voice questions are generally not allowed so I'm sorry if this isn't ok)

Hello! I am a translator and I'm working on a comic about a Deaf girl. At one point, she tries talking to her hearing friend to show she can speak normally. Her friend says something along the lines of no, you don't sound normal, which upsets the Deaf girl and she turns away so she doesn't see her friend say, you sound unique, and that's awesome.

Since her non-standard pronunciation is part of the plot and is included in the original, I wanted to express that in the English as well, but I'm concerned about doing it in an insensitive way. Would anyone have any tips for approaching it in a good way or any examples of something like that done well?

Thank you for any help! (and feel free to correct me in any way, I'd like to learn!)

EDIT: Ok, current plans: actually changing the spelling is probably out because it too easily looks like it's mocking deaf people. Considering typeface changes, maybe some other indication like chevrons around her speech? Changing bubbles is probably out because of redrawing issues. I'm planning on emailing the English publisher to discuss options, maybe ask them to contact the original publisher (though the Japanese Federation of the Deaf which oversaw the project there will be experts in what's ok in Japanese, not English) to see if they have any opinions, and maybe contact an American organization for advice.

EDIT 2: I have been removed from the project. Thank you all for your input and attempts to help me learn.

35 Comments
2024/10/30
12:23 UTC

11

App that detects noise

Anyone know of a good android app that can detect noise at certain levels (like a crying child, fire alarm, etc), and send alerts to my phone... by flashing a color or vibrating or anything, really??

10 Comments
2024/10/30
02:54 UTC

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