I just cared for my husband's stepmother in the last weeks of her battle with a very aggressive cancer. On top of that, his dad had a severe stroke in February, and he's so incapacitated (can't speak, can't use his right side, can't eat, on a ventilator, etc.) that he can't manage his own affairs, so my husband and I had to petition the court for legal guardianship of his person and his estate (he had a durable POA, but it listed his wife as his agent with no backup in case she died or became incapacitated, which has created a whole mess).

On some days, the caregiving itself isn't as hard as dealing with busybody family members who all want to dictate how things are done but don't want to get their hands dirty. When my SMIL was dying, I was administering meds every 2 hours, changing the bandages on her open wounds, dealing with the hospice professionals, contacting pharmacies to see if they had her meds available, and doing all that other stuff. My husband's aunt comes over and starts bitching about how we need to get the grass cut because someone is going to think the house is empty. First of all, the landscaper was scheduled to come the next day. Second of all, NO ONE was worried about the grass when we were worrying about a terminally ill woman screaming in pain. Third of all, we had at least three cars in the driveway at all times between the hospice nurses coming and going and multiple family members helping out; it was clear that the house wasn't empty.

Now we're dealing with the guardianship stuff. I have family members calling and texting multiple times per day telling me what to do and how to do it. I am about to snap and tell them that if they want to pay $2,500 to petition the court for guardianship and then take on the job of paying his bills, dealing with his insurance company, getting calls from the facility every day, etc., then they can have at it. I'm in my 40s; I can balance a checkbook and pay bills on time and manage everything well. It may not be the way they would manage it, but that's the price you pay when you don't want to take on the job yourself. I don't need busybodies bugging me constantly.

An update to this post:

Last Wednesday the social worker finally found a place for Dad for a five day respite for me. I was thrilled. I don't say this to rub this in anyone's face. Believe me, it came back to bite me.

On Thursday his nurse came by early to help him get ready, and we both waved him off as the transport ambulance took him away.

Friday, I was diagnosed with bronchitis, after coughing so hard the night before I triggered my acid reflux. I had been coughing for three weeks but I thought it was just super aggressive allergies. Dad texted me as well that they didn't have a wedge for him there. I said unfortunately I wasn't feeling up to making the trip (20 minutes away), but ask the nurses to put pillows under him.

Saturday I was really not feeling great, but I said I would be at a function (contingent on Dad having help at home/getting respite care), so I went. 45 miles north and shooting right past his care place. I regret not stopping in to see him on my way home, but I was not in good shape. I was told later they might not have let me in, knowing I had bronchitis.

Sunday was quiet, I got a few things done. I went to the movies. I snugged into bed about 12:30, and was just drifting off when my cell rang with an unknown number. For a split second, I almost didn't answer it. It's a wrong number, at 1 a.m.

Dad was found unresponsive at 12:45 when they came into check on him. It was far too late for intubation. I remember being hysterical. The hospice person on the other end was calm and understanding, and I just wanted to scream "Why aren't you crying as hard as I am?!"

I had chances to check in on him, and I didn't. That guilt is eating me up inside. Everyone is telling me it's not my fault and I shouldn't feel guilty about it, but I do. Like I didn't do enough for this last stretch for him. The only time he has ever been out of my sight for a longer stretch than a few hours and he died. After a year and a half of caring for him and every single drama we went through together to keep him alive.

Today is my mom's 5th death anniversary. The only day the church Dad wanted a service at is May 11, which is the day after his birthday, also the day we had a service for Mom five years ago, and their wedding anniversary. I swear he planned that.

I am better today, after a reasonable amount of sleep and snuggling kitties, but certainly not 100%. The house is so quiet. My brother is coming in today to help me.

Wake up get dressed grab my coffee. Get the old man situated give him his meds. All's good on the home front. Then I hear him yell for me and I go to see what he needs. Shit himself. Filled the diaper and his pants. And of course it gets all over his legs and bed sheet. And I just fucking died some more inside. Hope y'all are having a better day.

I (25F) am a caregiver for my grandmother with dementia (89F). My dad (55M) is also a caregiver for her. My grandmother broke her hip a few months ago and is now bed bound.

I feel guilty because I feel like I don't give her as much attention as I should. I am in school 5 days a week and I am usually studying or catching up on sleep during the weekend. Whenever she wants to talk, I usually don't have the energy to hold a conversation. Usually when I get home from school, I just want to lay down and shut my brain off. She likes to watch jeopardy with me, which I do watch with her sometimes. However, somedays i'm busy with schoolwork or i'm too exhausted to play.

Me and my dad change her and feed her, but I feel like I'm not doing enough. We have an aid who is here during the week for a few hours while we're at school and work. She's great. I graduate from school in about 2 weeks and I will be officially done in the middle of June. It is not easy being a full time student and caregiver. I have stayed absent from school a few times because of my grandma and my school was not happy about it. My program director is unforgiving of absences.

I hope this will all become a little easier when I finish school. I doubt I will be able to work full time, so I will need to find a part time or per diem job. At least I will be able to be home with her more often. I have brought up the idea of me dropping out of school throughout the time i've been in school to help care for my grandmother, but my family has always discouraged it.

So yeah.

I posted this question on r/careerguidance as well, but I thought posting it here could give more insight from caregivers themselves.

Currently I'm caregiving for my disabled single mother, where although I am able to work almost full-time (between 30-40 hours/week), she needs help in and around the house and getting to appointments. Fortunately though, she does not need 24/7 care where I can go to work and generate income to our household.

For those that are caregiving and professionally working, did you reveal you are caregiving as well?

Because I feel that this is double-edged sword situation where if I did reveal it, it does show my maturity and good character but the employer might see caregiving as a liability as I would not be able to do traveling and overtime. (The jobs I am applying for have minimal of both, like 10% or less.) Or they just might think, I can't fully commit to the job. Though if I keep it hidden (from my application, resume, etc.), would they wonder why my extracurricular projects/activities and further education is lacking, and question whether I am serious about my career and if I would take initiative.

I graduated with honors with a mechanical engineering and bioengineering dual degree from college (bachelor's degree), but I wasn't able to participate in the research opportunities, engineering clubs, and internships/co-ops due to my caregiving and the availability of some engineering courses during the academic year for me to graduate. I'm currently working as test engineer at a small independent laboratory for almost 3 years, but I really want to move on from it due to the lack of advancement, very low pay (for my degree), and very high turnover rate, and I want to move away from test engineering itself.

I've discussed this with many recruiters and career counselors, and it has been basically a coin-toss where no one has a good definite answer for it. I truly don't know whether revealing this will harm or benefit my chances of getting a new job. Thank you in advance for the replies.

I’m a caregiver for both parents and a sibling. I feel like I am losing my grip on reality. All the daily decisions, all the chores, having to give up my house to be near them, the fear at every doctor’s appointment or phone call that something else will be wrong, the knowing that the end of my caregiving will be due to the death of my family. On top that I have a full time WFH job. Most mornings I don’t want to wake up. I’m so overwhelmed.

Do any of you guys ever feel this way? If so, how do you cope?

So I’m 27 and I’ve been caregiving for my 93yo grandmother for the past 2 and a half years after she had a fall that ended up rendering her far more dependent than she’d ever been before even at her age (I ended up sitting in the hospital with her everyday [while all but one of her 7 living children who live in the city would call me for updates but only came by to physically see her 1-2 times; it’s also not like she doesn’t have a good relationship with all her children, she truly is the most beautiful/understanding/gracious human being and everyone loves her], began buying her food/cooking all her meals when she got out, started managing her medication, bathing her, helping her with personal care stuff, began doing all the post-hospital physical therapy stuff with her until she felt stronger/more independent, took her to all her appointments, doing all the caregiver things, etc, etc, etc. On top of this I just graduated college last month, and I also have a job but I only have to physically be in the building 2 days a week unless otherwise specified.

In other words, it feels like I’m going a little crazy. I feel like the main “emotion” I’ve fully felt in the last couple years is stress, I’m noticing myself becoming slightly irritable, my motivation for work is suffering, I don’t really get out of the house, no social life, I’ve developed a very unhealthy borderline obsessive habit of using social media constantly, and 1-2 of her children might randomly say thanks every blue moon for everything I do for her while sacrificing much of a life for myself but no one ever really steps in to truly help me. And the SELFISHNESS & ENTITLEMENT? The nerve of her youngest son in particular to bring her a fish plate once every other month and come by to see her for 15 minute periods twice a week while I’m doing all this, then yell at me on the phone more than once on a Monday about how it’s “sad” that he had to call and “regulate everything” because no one “had the sense” to remember to turn her phone ringer back up after church on Sunday. Or how my other uncle will come by while the sitter is there on the days I have to physically be at work to do his remote work/use my printer, see how tired I am when I come in, and then pester me for a half hour to go back out and bring him some groceries and takeout so he doesn’t have to do it when he leaves. And of course I love the suggestions of little ideas they have occasionally for me to add more manual labor to the day that aren’t actually necessary that they could easily come by and do themselves. I’m just really tired, and I don’t have many people to speak to in my real life about this, so I thought a partial vent here might make me feel better.

No one may even read this because of the length, lolol but at least I got a little bit out.

I am NC with my insane and emotionally hurtful birth family.

My adult stepson has severe mental health and physical health issues. He has recently lost his housing due to his behavior issues (I want to keep it vague, because folks are often demonized for things they cannot control - and the behaviors are bad) and he is currently residing with us part time. We are managing as best we can. I don’t want us to become JustNo/insane parents to him, and we are really struggling. We are on a wait list for counseling. Stepson is just shy of 40. I am 57, partner is 70.

We are in the US. I am just looking some short-term emotional support while we navigate this. Stepson’s mom is very involved (and kind, she is NOT an issue at all!), my role is mostly emotional support for my partner and her, and helping to manage some day-to-day issues and needs.

Stepson has an excellent care team - I am grateful for them, and they are doing everything they can. Stepson is his own guardian (we are NOT trying to change this), and can refuse supports and services- which is his right to do.

This has been ongoing since December, got exponentially worse in March. We love stepson. Want him to be safe, healthy, and working back to independent living. Fully removing him from our home is not an option. And because US mental health resources are shit, we are on a 6 month wait for counseling.

His dad (my partner) and I are becoming emotionally overwhelmed, and are living an almost completely “reactionary” life, which is not healthy. We have a small 1 bedroom home, which has been completely overtaken (I am posting this while sitting on my very small 3 season porch). None of our friends have experienced anything like this, so while they do their very best to be kind, they don’t know what this is like.

My mother was admitted tonight from the ER. I usually stay until she leaves the ER to go to a room but it’s 2am and she was going to sleep soon anyway and I have a big medical appt. for myself at 8am.

How much time do you usually spend at the hospital with them? She seems indifferent to me being there and tonight kept urging me to leave. The ER was slow and the nurse told me there was no reason to stick around.

She has moderate dementia and wasn’t too confused tonight and could answer their questions. She is having low oxygen issues so there wasn’t much I could answer and there isn’t much information they will have tonight at least.

I don’t feel guilty about leaving but should I?

you passed away unexpectedly in the hospital yesterday and i wasn’t there with you. i only got to see you in your room after you were already gone. you weren’t supposed to go, you were supposed to get better and go back to rehab. there wasn’t even anything wrong with your heart from what i understood.

i haven’t slept, barely ate one meal, i have so many decisions to make and i can’t. i called the funeral home today and i didn’t even tell them all the information and i already feel like i’m going to explode.

the silence is too quiet. i don’t want to be alone. i can’t do this without you.

My mother used VNS when she was released from the hospital 3x . Just wondering what did you think of them if you used them. She had 8 visits covered by medicare each time she was released from the hospital. The CN nurse was very nice & friendly but not good, she told us my mom didn’t have fluid in her lungs when she clearly did and needed to be rehospitalized. After visiting my mom for 3 months, she said her last visit would be last week but never called, i texted her, no reply back. My mom built a friendship with her and was let down. Vns said the service was finished. Just feel we got duped. The physical therapist didn’t do much, occupational therapist was good .

Hello lovelies

So my husband has Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and I’ve been taking care of him for a while now. One of the lymph nodes are attached to the thyroid gland and he was admitted into hospital to try and get the thyroid levels stable.

His personality has been off for around a year now. He spent 3 weeks in a mental health facility last year. But his personality has changed so much. He literally speak to me at all. And when I ask him if he’s okay he just grunts. It’s been hurtful because I want to know what I’m doing wrong to deserve being treated like this. So I made him a nice dinner and asked if we could chat after we had put our four year old daughter to be.

I asked him to please just be honest with me. And he looked me dead in the eye and said the only reason we are together is because of Olivia. He doesn’t feel anything but friendship for me. He’s happy to continue to pretend we are happily married mommy and daddy but he wants me to move to the couch and just not engage with him during the day.

It’s been getting worse for around a year now but I could feel the coldness. Is this just the sickness talking now?

We have been together for 10 years… my heart is shattered. What do I do?

I (40f) have been caring for my MIL (67F) since October '23. This is the second time that I have been her daytime caregiver and the second time I've sustained multiple injuries while taking care of her. The first time was a few pulled muscles in my back and the tearing of the mesh that repaired a previous hernia, among other things. Well, this time it's serious. I have an umbilical hernia, a hiattal hernia and a fracture in my L5 vertebrae. I'm completely done. I know that being home is what she wants but I can't continue destroying my body so she can be in her home. I'm in pain and she doesn't care as long as she can be here. I worry that if I stop taking care of her it will destroy my marriage. I worry that if I continue to care for her, I'll end up in a wheelchair. I'm terrified to move or bend. I feel like I'm not human to her and that my health doesn't matter so long as she gets to be in her home.

I have seven people in my household.

• Me (42/M)

• Brother (41/M/Down Syndrome)

• Wife (39/F)

• Niece - Custody/Adoption in progress (18/F)

• Niece - Custody/Adoption in progress (17/F)

• Daughter (12/F)

• Son (10/M)

We have two functional bathrooms... Hallway bathroom and my master bathroom.

Last night in preparation for bed time, I told my brother to shower after my daughter gets outta the shower and I hop in the shower after having done a major brake job on my truck.

Partway through scrubbing the grease off my arms and getting the rust flakes outta my hair, my son comes into my bathroom and informs me that he cannot brush his teeth for the night because "there's brown stuff all in the sink."

I come outta my shower and find the following in the hallway bathroom:

• Literal baseball sized turd and half a roll of TP clogging the hallway bathroom toilet.

• Shit smeared all over the entirety of the toilet seat.

• Golfball sized turd clogging the shower drain.

• Shit smeared all over the bathtub floor.

• Shit smeared all in the sink.

• Sink faucet handles coated in shit.

Time for another shower.

Hi! Im finding this group a real support. I’m caring for my mum who has moderate - severe Alzheimer’s and live with her in her home (UK) after coming back from CIs to look after her. I’m hoping that she doesn’t need to go into a home but if she eventually does, do the care homes need you to sell up immediately to pay for care or would I be able to carry on living here and sell it when the inevitable happens (which was hard to find the words for). I don’t have a base in UK any more. Thanks for any advice anyone can offer.

My husband was taken by ambulance to the hospital today. He's missed several sessions of dialysis (his choice) and somehow fell out of his wheelchair.

When he first fell I asked if he was okay and he said yes. I asked if he hit his head, he said no. I asked if he needed to go to the hospital and he said no. He wasn't bleeding or anything and seemed OK but I can't lift him on my own so I called for a lift assist. They came out and it took maybe 10 minutes or so for them to get there. Not long at all. They tried talking to him but he wasn't really answering their questions. They asked.if he knee where he was and he said the name of a hospital. They talked to him some more and tried asking again and he said the name of a different hospital. Odd. So they said he needed to be taken in and get checked out.

They took him to the closest hospital and the doctor called me to tell me he would have to be transfered because he needed a blood transfusion and they didn't have his blood type. I said OK. Secretly I was glad because I wanted him transfered anyway.

The second hospital called me and said he had arrived in their ER and they were going to admit him to ICU give him emergency dialysis and give him a blood transfusion. The hospital then called again saying he was admitted and was currently in ICU and they needed me to give permission for dialysis because of "concern about his mental state". This doctor also said that his blood work is very concerning and that they have to do dialysis slowly because taking the toxins off too fast can make his situation worse.

I'm really concerned about him amd wondering how he deteriorated so quickly when right before he fell he was acting pretty much normal except for being really tired/worn out and that was literally like 2 hours ago.

I'm also not sure when/if I should call his siblings. They live in a different state so I try to keep them updated on how he's doing/what's going on. He's in and out of the hospital a lot so I don't call them every single time he goes in anymore (I did when he first got sick). I always feel like I bug them too much or don't tell them enough. I never really know when and what to tell them.

It's too late to call them tonight but I will probably call them tomorrow and tell them what's going on. Hopefully I will have something more concrete to tell them.

I guess what this last doctor said about his blood work and having to pull the toxins off slowly really bothered me. I don't know. Something about the way he was talking concerned me. It seemed like he was being very careful to pick and choose his words which made it seem like there was something he wasn't telling me. I just don't know what. That could also just be my anxiety though.

Sorry for the rambling.

.

My 73M dad may have an inguinal hernia. I'm hoping that there is nothing incarcerated in the hernia as that is how my mom, my dad's wife, passed.

My dad has Major Neurocognitive Disorder and dealing with his unreliable self narration has me livid. I KNOW it isn't his fault. I get it, but when we're at home and he's upset and claiming he is at an 8/10 in pain, then we get to the ER and the doctor evaluated him and he says nothing at all...I can't take it. I try telling him he is the only one who can tell anyone how things feel, and he just says that he knows and he's sorry.

Does anyone else's loved ones do this? I feel like I'm insane, we go to the hospital time after time and what he reports to healthcare professionals varies by wildly from how he reports his pain and issues at home. I want to scream.

Is there such a thing as an absolutely simple universal DVD player remote control? Something with power, play, stop, up, down, no numbers, no settings buttons. The only ones I've seen don't have a play button, only up & down. Grandad refuses to learn which buttons do what, and says my written instructions are "too complicated".

We have been getting a few podcasts started around here, and I think this would be a great place to list them, right alongside our playlist recommendations! If you have a podcast you'd like to share, be it your own or someone else's, feel free to share it! Keep us updated with new episodes, too!

Please link playlists or songs! Youtube is great for everyone to access, but all music streaming sites are welcome!

my mom passed of a Grade 4 Astrocytoma (Brain tumor) earlier this month. The weeks leading up to her death, I presumed afterwards I would essentially become catatonic but at least be able to rest. Neither of those was true. I’m just very traumatized by some of the things leading up to her death/immediately after.

I barely sleep at night because of my boyfriend’s snoring… it rarely ever bothering me before but now it keeps me awake all night. It’s not that it’s loud, it just sounds exactly like my mom’s breathing before she passed… and when I’m dead asleep it still jolts me awake in a panic and I hear my mom dying in my head until I realize it’s just my boyfriend breathing next to me.

I woke up middle of the night and was laying awake next to him for hours until i moved out to sit in the garage because I just can’t listen to him breathing anymore. The more I try not to think of it the more I think about it and focus on it and it freaks me out.

Right now I’m just in this mind loop about having to help the nurse clean my mom up after she passed but before the funeral home came by… not the image I needed of my mom in that moment. She seemed so peaceful in the moment of death and after, but then having to turn her side to side to clean her and laying her back down was not a pretty sight for me.

There was one night I gave her meds that she almost choked on them… it was the most frightening moment of my life. I thought I’d killed her. I’ve never heard sounds so awful or seen someone in such an instinctual panic… she had been non responsive and practically comatose for days, but her choking (more like drowning) caused such an autonomic reaction… idk that will never get out of my head that feeling of panic and thinking I killed her and it was my fault and watching her in that much agony..

Honestly this whole thing fucked me up really bad… the caregiving for months ahead of time on my own but especially the death stuff. I thought i was prepared for it emotionally, I would have been if it was an “easy process” but some of this is really messing me up. Her death itself was nice and calm and peaceful but everything leading to it was a living nightmare for the 9 days she spent in active death. And then to add to that the last major visual memory I have of my mom really is her looking super dead and having poop cleaned off. just super awesome. Thanks for everything hospice, really saved me there.

Mom’s Alzheimer’s is progressing to the point where she needs one of the aforementioned options. She currently resides in NY state, and I live in Maine. She owns her home and it is paid in full. Either she continues to live in her home with 24/7 care, or I move her to an assisted living facility in Maine (closer to me). Grateful for any feedback.

Anyone else dealing with a senior who simply cannot use their tv/sound bar ? Loses the remotes in the bed, can never find anything, etc ? Drives me up the fucking wall.

Background, my mom is 71, 5'2", about 230lbs. She had a stroke in 2021 that severely limited her mobility, she's in bed most of the day, but she can walk about 10-15 feet with a walker and most days we try to get her out of bed, at least walk her from her bed to her recliner so she can sit up for a while.

She does, however, have chronic knee pain in her left knee for the last 8 months that flares up bad some days preventing her from putting any pressure on it. She's had an X Ray of the knee and been to the doctor for it several times.

So far, they cannot find anything very wrong with her beyond normal levels of bone degradation for her age and weight. They have recommended that we use Voltaren topical gel (diclofenac) once a day and Tylenol as needed for pain. It kind of works, but it's like it takes her pain from a 9 down to a 6 at best. Also that, when possible, she stands and walks a bit. We do PT at home for her when possible.

We can get her up most days, but there are some like today where she tried to stand up and just couldn't and sat back in her bed. Some days, she can get up and walk no problem, we have her do some sit to stands 10-15 times, leg stretches, etc. Some days, she can't get out of bed because it hurts so bad.

Doctors, so far, have really not been of much help. Physical therapy only helps when she can get out of bed to do it, and the Tylenol and Voltaren only do so much.

What would y'all recommend? I feel like I'm trying all that I can and doing what the doctors say. I installed a standing/pull bar from floor to ceiling next to her bed, I got her the best walker I could find, I try to do PT with her, I use the medications her doctors recommend. I just want to feel like I'm doing enough, and I fear her getting weaker on the days she can't get out of bed. I don't want to force her when she's in pain.

My mother (stage 4 cancer, disabled from a stroke that happened 6 months ago) got up to transfer to her chair today and fell flat on her face, breaking her nose badly and causing a small brain bleed (she is on blood thinners).

She was having a great day yesterday and seemed in pretty good spirits this morning so I told her I was going to step out and run a few small errands and I would check in at about 45 minutes. I called from the car and checked in and asked how she was doing and she said she was doing good but she had to go to the bathroom, she wanted me to come back immediately and she said no and hung up. I had a feeling that I should probably just rush back and I was only three minutes away, so I hopped in the car by the time I hung up the phone and parked in the driveway she was laying on the floor in the living room in a pool of blood. She had gotten up right after the phone call and just have fallen immediately. I called 911 and got her cleaned up and iced her nose. She was taken to the trauma unit and will now be in the hospital for the next few days.

I’m coming I am beside myself with guilt. I’ve left my job to come and care for her because no other other family members are willing to do it. She’s very adamant about staying in her home so we’ve done everything we can to make it safe here- plus we cent really afford anything else at the moment , but the chemo treatments weekly are knocking her on her ass. The stroke has caused so many problems and it’s like she could be fine one hour and horrible the next.

I’m trying to do this on my own and I’m so bad at it. I feel like I’m failing and now I don’t think she’s ever gonna be able to come back into this home. We’ve been looking into assisted-living facilities and I dropped off an application for her but now it seems like she’s got so many injuries. I don’t even know if they’re gonna let her in and we would have to rush the process, which seems horrible for someone that is going to be in so much pain and recovering. I’m also terrified about the brain bleed as they said it was minor but she’s on blood thinners and I feel like she’s had so much brain trauma this is just adding more to the fire.

I couldn’t even look at her in the ER. I had to go and stand out in the waiting room because looking at all of her horrible injuries just made me burst into tears. I don’t understand why my family has not rallied around instead left me a person who has no idea what the fuck I am doing look after my mother and things like this are happening- my half sister who is a nurse that’s worked in long term care also refuses to help other than reading medical reports and doing weekly pill packets and the occasional drive to appointment . I feel like I’ve let her down and I like I have no one left to count on. my father and her husband passed away suddenly in December and she’s been dealing with all kinds of injuries and issues from stroke since September.

An estimated 5.4 million children help care for relatives, as families can’t afford or find other in-home care

So it's been 2 years since dad got cancer. A year ago it was gone, now it is back.

I am at the point where I almost don't care anymore. My mind has been destroyed with worry and trying to fix things.

I have shared all this information over the past 2 years with my brothers and now they're acting all concerned. And I resent this. I've been the one doing everything and now they just realized this is serious?

There are few good options. Surgery will be bad, he's 82. Chemotherapy will destroy dad mentally (previous treatment messed him up).

I was never meant to be a caregiver. I have ocd about my parents and somehow God thought it would be cool to make me his caregiver. What a dick. And I've been telling everyone for 2 years how serious this was and now they finally get it?

My mind is gone, it's over. I'm never coming back and ofc the worst is yet to come. I will ever forgive God for this, for what He did to me and dad. Totally out of left field, unnecessary.

My mom broke her wrist and knee, making her bedridden. I'm in my mid-20s (F) inexperienced in caregiving.

We've managed bathroom routines okay for now but need advice on showering. The hospital gave us this section thing that they had while she was there, but I don’t know how to use it and I don’t think I have the pump and they didn’t explain how to do it. Considering a detachable showerhead and shelves, but unsure how they work.

I also need to figure out how to get her to the orthopedic this week to get her cast. They’re going to send me a wheelchair on Monday, but I don’t know how to get her in the vehicle and out she does have an SUV so any suggestions on the safest way to take her.

Five star is going to come on Monday to do her PT and OT and they mentioned some caregiving services that they have but it’s not covered by the insurance. I was thinking of maybe doing it once just so I can kind of learn and see the best way to do this. She does not qualify for Medicare because she has insurance through her job and makes too much.

Seeking tips on caring for her and managing daily tasks.

She is charge in this journey her choices. I’ve been having trouble getting her to eat enough calories. The more I talk push food the worse it gets and the more tension that’s between us. She knows she needs to eat , the choice is hers . I will have food readily available . That’s what’s in my control, I can be there to hold her hand but I’m no dr , we can only fallow there advice treatment options if she chooses. I will hold her hand and get her home from chemo. I’m posting this to vent frustration and remind myself only certain things I can control.