Hey fellow caregivers. 92 yr old mom is FINALLY willing to wear a call button after a recent fall where we couldn't hear her.

I'm looking for something she can carry on her (watch or necklace) that will buzz a receiver upstairs.

I've looked through the thousands of Amazon listings for caregiver pagers, and like so many Amazon listings, they all look like really low quality products and seem full of fake reviews. Heck, most of them are just re-purposed wireless doorbells. I've yet to find what seems a legitimate caregiver or health focused vendor.

I'm hoping some folks out here might have some personal experiences with these products (that have lasted more than 3-6 months).

Thanks!

Hello, My mother had an ischemic stroke in May. She’s been bed ridden since then. She’s been having rashes caused by adult diapers. Rest assured I’ve been investing in the high quality expensive ones. However, they still aren’t the best. I’ve been using Giggles & Dr. comfort. She continues to suffer from rashes. My question is, does anyone have any positive experience with other brands? Or even reusable cotton diapers? Any recommendations would help.

So I am either looking for any device or any suggestions on ways to help dress a person who primarily sits in a chair for most their day. The problem I am running into is that when it comes to changing clothes their pants become a challenge because they are heavy set and immobile. This is not made easier regardless if they are on the bed on they are on a chair. I do have a hoyer lift but the hoyer lift is only good for transfering from the chair to bed and vice versa. The family member is also unwilling to assist in any capacity which renders a lot of things such as canes, walkers and more useless.

This question is for caregivers. My grandmother lived in a board & care care home for five years before she passed away last month. Her caregivers were so good to her. They even sat with me when she passed away and cried also with me so I know they cared for her deeply.

I would like to send some sort of appreciation gift to the home because I appreciate all they’ve done for my grandma. Looking for suggestions on what would be a nice gift to receive or appropriate? Some kind of basket with things in it? Or gift certificates? I’m just not sure. I didn’t want to send any food or catering because I know they make food there.

Thank you in advance!

Question 🙋‍♀️ I’m a full time caregiver for my fully paralyzed son (28) So I recently received a notice about a violations because they say i claimed more hours than im supposed to . I get 236 hours a month should they not be used how the recipient wants or do we have to stick to a certain amount every week thank you in advance for any information you can help me undestand this.

I don’t like being forced to be a caregiver this young at 30. It’s not my fault my mom didn’t prepare for (save) her needs. She has an intellectual disability and her selfishness and irresponsibility resulted in her needing care so early in life. Because she doesn’t have enough funds to care for herself, I have to pay the cost for her comfort. I am so sad that I have to give up my life for her to live in comfort. Can’t marry or have a social life.

She also is delusional… she thinks she is well enough to date, when she can’t even shower herself or administer her meds, or work a microwave. There’s no light at the end of the tunnel… I’ll never get to live my life. Thanks to my selfish, irresponsible parents who both have intellectual disabilities and are hillbillies.

The trauma and resentment resulting in The Loss of my personal freedom and Role reversal( my mom becoming essentially “my daughter”) has traumatized me so bad, that I’ll never have kids, should a miracle happen and a man actually WANT to marry me when he sees the weird things my mom does. Yeah that’s right (her intellectual disability actually I’m not sure it’s that, causes her to steal my food and people’s candy in my home) no man is going to want to marry me when he sees my “mom/daughter” I have massive black hole depression with massive resentment.

Here I am. Admitting this was harder than I thought it would be and my friendship as a caregiver has turned more into a job. I do still like her as a friend, and I will always love her (she lives with me and my family) but as for a tight friendship, I feel it is not anymore. Is something wrong with that? I think the dynamic has changed and I get too emotionally stressed so I have been having to treat this more as a job to disconnect the sadness I feel for her. We’ve lived together almost 7 months now. As I’ve said before I have two teenagers and a baby as well. Maybe I’m just burnt out and the spark will come back or maybe not and I should be ok with being friends but not as close as we were? Thoughts please

I'm curious if any others working for a home health agency is getting the new CA minimum state law pay? My agency is saying they are not a covered facility but yet the CA bill says "Licensed home health" is covered.

https://preview.redd.it/0fpck3gqldwd1.png?width=2420&format=png&auto=webp&s=8260536394eff0db9e8b5c160cbb1c4448b70039

https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/billNavClient.xhtml?bill_id=202320240SB525

Basically the title. It looks like I will be spending a lot of time in the hospital with a family member. What are things you always take with you? Mine are- pillow, blanket, heating pad, all in one charger station, fuzzy socks and flip flops.

Hi I’m a (F)44 caregiver to my (M)28 constantly disrespecting me . He expects me to bow down to him to the point of calling me out of my name saying things that no son should tell a mother. Today started with me telling him that I had gotten a duplicate birth certificate because I misplaced he’s so I purchased he’s since I was there already requesting one for my little girl & I told him that as he’s mother I’m allowed to request those papers . He brought up something totally out of nowhere saying that he refuses for me to get medical insurance on him . I didn’t know what he was talking about until he said I better not get life insurance on him . I was confused because this was not the topic . He said that he had spoken to a detective already and that if I get life insurance on him that it’s considered fraud because he didn’t agree for me to get it . I did mention something about life insurance to my mother because he’s bed bound and has been like this for 2 1/2 years now do you a bullet severing he’s spinal cord from the neck down he has no mobility . He thinks that I want up benefit from him but I’m not looking to benefit from him or anyone . Every day it’s something different last time he said I was trying to poison him prior to that he bit my finger and I still don’t have a nail on my finger . He tries because he can’t do it to spit at me and constantly treating me like I’m the enemy . When he got shot I had a job but I lost it because I would always get there late thanks to him and because no one can take care of him properly and now that I’m he’s caregiver he thinks I need him to survive. Yes the job pays me good and I get to be home with my little girl but at what cost . I’m growing tired of the situation I tell him that no one is holding him against he’s will that the door is wide open for him to do what he needs to do and leave my house. He can control he’s phone with voice control so I know he can make arrangements to find a better place with better care if he feels I’m not doing a good job BUT NOhe refuses to leave telling me that I cannot kick him out . He’s egocentric and cares about no one BUT HIMSELF. I was brought up to respect my elders and most of all my parents no matter what . Even if my parents are wrong I still just say ok because there’s no need to argue back . I tried to keep my composure but he just knows what buttons to push and entices me calling me a demon and devil when he’s the one that spark all the arguments . He’ll pick and choose from what I say and twist my words. I’ve talked to him so much I’m just tired of trying and I know it will probably be hard to get a job that pays me 6,000 a month but that is not going to worth the headaches . I’ve called adult social services they won’t take him either. When he gets me upset I don’t even want to be around him . I feel like I’m stuck because I need the money but Fckkkkk how can I manage to deal with this . There’s so much more to say but I feel exhausted just by writing this

Hi everyone-

I currently care for my bonus dad’s mom who is 98 and has dementia. She’s is absolutely the sweetest thing, strong Italian woman who grew up and lived in Brooklyn most her life. She’s amazing. I’ve known her since I was about 8-9? I am 35 now and have been a nursing assistant and medical assistant in the past.

He is currently taking care of her in his home and I come over to help out with the things he’s not able to do (Showers, nails, hair, etc).

She can walk on her own, stand up on her own (or with little help), no known health conditions and no medication prescribed that could cause her to be unstable. She is somewhat incontinent but doesn’t realize this.

She currently needs new shoes to help her gain better footing in the house and also are able to be washable. Does anyone know a great pair of shoes that might be easy for her to slip on and off, washable or washable lining, arch support, wide toe box, etc?

Any advice is so appreciated, I’ve tried to look up and find some on my own but with no luck.

Background: My mom has been taking care of my dad full-time at home for a few months now, but this is really getting to her. He is completely paralyzed on one side and is receiving ST, PT, and OT once a week since his stroke.

We have decided that caring for him is unsustainable long-term and are looking for options. We are looking into care facilities, but one thing she really wants is the ability to take him home and occasionally care for him overnight. She has all of the equipment to care for him, but she just can't handle doing it 24/7.

We have a means of transportation covered that can provide daily transportation Mon-Fri (except holidays). The key days she would care for him would be during holidays (like Christmas eve into Christmas) when their children go to visit, but the daily transportation is closed

I'm not sure if this is an option at nursing homes / assisted living centers. Has anyone heard of anything like this?

Four days ago , I laid my wife to her well deserved eternal rest. She was 54 years old and we had been married for 30 of those years. She was my beautiful companion and definitely the better half. Thursday I decided to return to work for the first time in almost two weeks. My hands trembled as it got close to my time to depart, knowing it would be the start of life without her. She had been sick for two and a half years. She had her stroke just as our country began it's COVID nightmare and we had already suffered the loss of one of her cousins. She later suffered a heart attack and soon her kidneys failed and she was put on P.D. dialysis. By the begining of 2024 she was on 3ltrs. Of O2 and had to wear a life vest at night. By now I was caring for her full time but I had to continue working to keep our household going. I remember feeling annoyed when she called me to help with her clothes or help her off the toilet. I remember complaining to my sister about how her tone had become rude. I still rubbed her back and helped her to sleep after starting her dialysys each night. Her sleep was always restless and she hated the life vest. Sometimes she had to go to the bathroom and it was hard dragging all the dialysis and O2 tubing back and forth. I tell myself that at least now she isn't suffering it doesn't help with the emptyness that is now my constant companion. This will be my last post here but I just wanted to convey that I know how demanding caring for a loved one can be. I know how your life is Altered when you have to spend so many hours at appointments or cleaning up when they make a mess. Or when you have to spend time easing their pain when you are dead tired, but when they are gone you only remember the love you shared and pray that you will one day see them again, healthy and full of life. Hold those thoughts in your heart when you feel you can't go on. Bless you all for your support and prayers and all the advice your lovingly offered. May the Lord keep you and remember even though it may not seem so your efforts are not forgotten Thank you.

I asked my caregiver if they would help me shave the bottom half of my legs because I am physically unable to bend down and reach. They refused, and said that I should go to an Esthetician. I've come across this once before and it has always confused me. The way I see it, basic shaving in non private areas is something people usually do at home and should fall under TODL. My caregiver told me it's not their job to help with my beauty regimen. Am I in the wrong here?

My brother (37 years old) stayed in my house when my mother (70 years old) passed away . My mother had schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, then in her old age she developed dementia. I took care of her when I was young , although she was abusive to me, she yelled at me all day and told me that she despised me.My mother's sisters and my brother were equally abusive. The point is I took care of my mother for most of my life and educated myself on what she had, some things I learned by trial and error. Her family (My brother and my mother's sisters) were good at Demanding and yelling at me to take good care of my mother and keep the house in a good place.But they never educated themselves about my mother's illnesses or cared for her. Now that my mother died, my brother came to stay at the house. Somehow these days he had a seizure that lasted about 10 minutes, then for a couple of days he started acting like a child and at the third day in the hospital he started to get cold and very pale (he was practically on the verge of death), and he survived somehow returning to normal. It was very strange. My mother's sisters and also my brother first accused me of saving my brother because I want his money, and also that I was to blame for what happened to him because I make him worry, and I fight with him daily (I hardly talk to him because I know he can't handle anger. He used to hit me and yell at me when I was young.). Now it turns out that my brother has an unplanned child from one of the girls he's dating, and again my mother's sisters and my brother want me to take care of the little one. They tell me "let go of the past, learn to forgive. From now on you have a clean slate. We're all going to do that" "and besides, it seems your brother has changed, let him stay at your house." He has a lot of money, when he stayed at home before and now it was the same and he didn't lift a finger to clean; and take care of my mother. Now they accuse me of being a liar and selfish

I’ve never worked in this field before so I’m curious if you guys have any advice for someone who’s just starting out.

I’ve only ever worked basic customer service jobs and I always hated them.

Is it easier to just take care of one person than dealing with hundred of people a day in customer service? (I know caregiving won’t be a piece of cake but I’m generally introverted so providing thoughtful help to one person sounds like a dream compared to dealing with hundreds of people a day)

Is it a fulfilling job? I assume it will be much more fulfilling providing a better life for someone for the time I’m helping them.

Mother is falling almost daily now. I am needing an alarm for her bed.I have a arlo camera but it's not going off on a regular basis also rigged a guard rail , but she just goes around it.

God bless you all. I have cared for mom for the last twenty years...

Hi everyone, I am currently a caregiver and I like my job but recently there is a secretary in the office who only tells me things and not the other workers kind of harassing me, I am starting to feel uncomfortable and kind of sad she keeps on pressuring me. This secretary doesn’t do her job right but she rather harasses me and pressure me on every little thing. When I used to work with private clients this secretary would steal money from my checks. I work with a client in the morning and she is very sweet she’s happy with my job, but there is another caregiver who doesn’t like me and she leaves the extra work to me she tries to talk bad things about me in the office and with this client. I feel very stressed, this caregiver has been giving me issues for almost months she would do stuff to make me uncomfortable and she even wanted me to wash the clients clothes by hand but my client told her that I am not supposed to do that. This caregiver and secretary are turning into a nightmare I don’t know what to do or how to react I feel alone in all this. Please give me an advice. Thank you

I went to a funeral this weekend and two messages stuck as being so poignant:

1. Love is friendship on fire
2. We say keep the faith. Don’t keep it. SHARE IT.

This spoke to me and feels like something I would appreciate having shared with me had I not heard it myself.

What's the going ( Rate of Pay ) for somebody with no medical or nursing background but I have 8/Yrs Experience 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Why is it that in addition to flooding job boards, Home Health Aide companies use the most sweetest innocent looking stock pictures to reel new aides in? They know what they’re doing. Most of the time, the cases you are sent to is not the home of a sweet old lady that just requires you to tenderly hold her hand or stroke her back. It’s back breaking work and often thankless by spoiled adult children not willing to do the gross job of cleaning up after mom or dad and dealing with their aggressive dementia behavior. Be honest. Show a picture of what it’s really like to advertise. I GUARANTEE no one would want to fill these positions.

Last month I was offered a job as a free lance care giver to a 90 year old man. In exchange for a room, food, wifi and no utilities I was to cook and clean and make sure he was ok and had everything he needed. I am not a CNA or with an agency. I needed a job and took the offer. Here's where it gets weird; the woman who hired me? His ex live in girlfriend of 20 years who met someone younger in their park and is now living with him. She tells me the old guy wanted her to move on because she was still young (she's 70) and deserved someone who could take care of her "needs". The old guy can't function anymore apparently. Well he's 90, right? She still comes over with the new boyfriend and she lays all over him in front of the old guy. Mean, right? But, none of my nevernind. Anyway when she hired me she said he could be fresh and pat your butt once in awhile. He does that to my friends, she says. I think to myself ok he's old overweight and doddering I can stay out of his reach. right? Wrong. He tells me he sleeps in the nude and leers at me. He asks for hugs and tries to chest to chest hug me. He tells me how lonely he is an he wants to cuddle would I sleep in bed with him? He grabs, not pats my ass. He has asked me to watch TV with him then came over to m couch and was grabbing and rubbing my thigh telling me how much he likes my body. I really need this job. I don't even know what to do it's so awkward and I feel sorry for the dude. But NO WAY. It's bordering on annoying, I feel like they should also be paying me cash to put up with this. Do I have any recourse? I feel like the ex girlfriend knew this was going to happen. And don't even get me started on her refusal to buy me basic food and just walking into my room while I am sleeping. Uggghhhhh

Hi everyone I just started out as a professional caregiver. Previously I was my grandmother's caregiver for over 3 years. One of my upcoming clients has dementia and is nonverbal. Does anyone have any video recommendations I could watch to prepare myself. I've watched a couple by teepa snow, recommended by my work. I want to be able to be prepared to give the maximum / best care I can.

So last month I got an option to leave Colorado and come back home to Kansas to take care of my grandma, at first I didn't want to but my mom made it seem like my grandma was way worse than we thought.

It was going really good I mean I get to be around my grandma and my best friend more, I get to care for her and just spend quality time with her before she gets worse.

Unfortunately it's not sunshines and rainbows..

There's days she gets nasty with me, snaps at me, refused to eat anything I make, I watch her be mean to cats, I have to put my foot down and tell her to knock it off..

Then I have to deal with for not wanting to go to doctor's appointments and pretending to be sick just to get my mom's attention or because she just doesn't want to go to their doctor's appointments.

Even before her health got worse she's always been like this It's gotten to a point where they don't even allow her into physical therapy anymore out here because she made so many excuses just to get out of it or she was mean to them.

I'm her live-in caregiver so I do everything and anything. It's me, my boyfriend, and our two dogs because I wasn't going to leave them out in Colorado and we needed a new start.

She likes to get almost nasty with my dogs. Then she tells me that she'll get kicked out if they find out there's dogs here then she laughs at the thought of it thinking it's funny, when I tell her that she can't act like that, she just gets worse with me.

I don't have to live with her It is a choice because I currently am trying to save up for our place but I know as soon as I leave or say something about getting a house there will be a huge fight..

I love her to death and always will love her to death she's my family but I wanted you guys to know pros and cons as I've seen it a lot on this Reddit.

I'm new to private pay. When was with an agency I was paid biweekly(mostly). My private pay says they want to pay me ONCE a month which is a bit inconvenecing for me as I live paycheck to paycheck . Clients nephew who pays her bills is an accountant and says it's less CONFUSING if he can pay me jist once a month. Sigh.. thoughts ? Thank you.

How do I change a pull up that’s not the one that you open and put it under and close it while their in the bed. It’s the other adult pull up that you just pull up you don’t have to close the sides. I’ve dealt with other patients and it was easier with pull ups that sides already closed because they usually have walker to help them stand and I just pull it up. The patient I’m caring for now has little to no strength in his legs and his hands constantly shake while he’s holding onto something as I’m lifting him up. He wants me to put this pull up on while he’s laying down it’s a huge hassle maybe I’m not cut out for this

My elderly mum (in the UK) would like to fly to meet family. She has poor breathing and uses a CPAP at night. Her condition is relatively new (past 18 months), and she hasn't flown in this condition before. She doesn't use oxygen.

What does the NHS GP fitness to fly test involve? What can she expect on a flight? Will she be even more breathless in a cabin than she is on land? (She can have some pretty bad days.)

Would love to hear experiences, as I'm a bit nervous.

Hello everyone, for those of you who manage caregiving responsibilities—whether for elderly family members, children, children and parents at the same time or others—what are the most frustrating or difficult aspects of caregiving? Do you use any apps or tools to help, and are there features you wish existed to make things easier?