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So this is my first time posting anywhere here on Reddit, but I thought maybe I could get some advice. I am an unofficial live-in caregiver that takes care of a, now, 78-year-old man. He's hitting the stage where he's realizing that he needs help with lots of things and is getting frustrated that he can't do anything. He's had several falls since I first got here back in November 2021. He took me in after there was a situation with one of my family members, and since then I have done my best to help him.

After his first fall with me being in the house, he was wanting to go for a drive. I was asleep, and I take pills for that because I am an insomniac. So he had fallen in the gravel driveway onto his knees and was stuck in that position, unable to pull himself up and out of it for 45 minutes, when I finally heard him yelling for me. I rushed out in my PJS and tried to get him up myself, but it was difficult, so we had to call a neighbor. He had a second fall a while later, down into the next year. He's had more falls since then and has put himself into a wheelchair and uses his canes very rarely.

This man loves to go shooting and buying and selling guns, and even makes his own bullets. Because he has had so many falls, I restricted him to going out shooting once a week. There were many issues during our first few months together where we were a little on each other's nerves, but I had tried taking him more than once a week, which ended up proving too much for him. Then working around my own schedule because of all my own appointments (I have way more than him). He says he wants to go out to the shooting range more, but I just don't want him to fall again, especially because I can't always pick him up by myself, and he also has bad balance.

His primary doctor and his foot doctor say he should be able to walk, but he's choosing to be in his wheelchair. I get it; he's scared of falling again. But when he's at home, all he does is sit in front of his computer all day. And when he wants to go out, it's usually just to the gun range and food. Which he often tells me about food last minute when I'm not dressed for it and look like a hobo @.@ I've tried understanding the things he likes, but none of it catches my interest enough for me to not look bored. And I don't want to sit in front of him checking the time and what not, but there isn't any real interaction. My ADHD makes it so that things that bore me annoy me because I have no interest. I brought a word search book back for me to do to help my brain, and then he wanted one, so I got him one, so that's new. But tonight I had a talk with him because he was getting frustrated and started to talk angry at me, which I shut down quickly.

I asked him what was wrong and then mentioned the frustration. I told him that he says he wants to do things by himself, but at the same time he doesn't make an effort. When he's home, all he does is play or watch movies on his youtube account. Then he's just modifying his guns or ordering some things from amazon and walmart. At home he doesn't really do anything. He put himself in that chair, but he wants to do other things like walk and build up his strength to be able to do the things he wants to independently do. But he's been told and told time and time again to do his foot excercises and his leg excercises and he never does them. After awhile, I had to give up because I can't watch him 24/7. But in my mind, he can't get frustrated at something that he can't do because he didn't try.

Right here, I just have no idea what to do. Does anyone have any advice that could help me?

My partner and I made this workbook for family caregivers based on our own experiences. It is designed to help family caregivers organize information, collect important documents, learn to take care of yourself, and more. If you're a caregiver, you know just how vital it is to prepare to help relieve some stress. I hope this can be helpful: https://www.herogeneration.co/caregiver_workbook Let me know of any feedback or anything else we can add!

If you have made decisions for a seriously ill adult, I invite you to participate in this important research.

https://preview.redd.it/y39p8bu8ebxd1.png?width=679&format=png&auto=webp&s=fa3074a65267b138fb52e5f5ed901680024c3be1

Interested or know someone who might be?
Feel free to reach out to me directly at mcgowanc2@duq.edu. Your input could make a difference in caregiving and healthcare!

Are you taking care of a family member who has been diagnosed with cancer? We are interested in learning about you and your family member’s experiences. Participate in a series of online surveys to earn up to $70 in Amazon giftcards each.

Take our screener survey here: https://nyu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_40mtQUXYPXcfSfQ or contact gz2164@nyu.edu.

https://preview.redd.it/4qzjmxe297vd1.jpg?width=1545&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3e37ff5828e1607d0c0c1ba0eedcb38d1e7d2690

Hello! 👋

My name is Giane. I was raised by my grandparents and a caregiver for a loved one with dementia.

We are embarking on a personal project that looks to solve the common challenges seniors and caregivers face in their lives everyday. I’d love to hear your story as a loved one or those who work closely with them. We’ll just ask you a set of prompts and the mic is yours!

In exchange for your valuable time (it’ll be a short interview, about 15-20 min long), We’ll compensate you via e-transfer or a gift card of your choice—whichever works best for you!

If you’re interested or want to know more, just drop me a message or leave a comment, and I’ll be happy to share more details.

Thanks so much for considering, and I hope we can connect soon! 💙

Hi everyone!

I'm working on my final MBA project, and I’m researching the market for custom-made, aesthetically designed mobility aids that fit seamlessly into home environments. This is a topic close to my heart as a caregiver myself. Whether you use mobility aids, know someone who does, or simply have thoughts on the topic, your input would be invaluable!

The survey takes just 3-5 minutes to complete, and your feedback will help shape future products. If you’re interested, you can also sign up for updates or future product trials.

I’d be so grateful for your time and insights! You can fill out the survey here: https://forms.office.com/r/27ZCNjRz52

Thank you!

EDIT: Thank you so much for all your responses! The insights have been amazing, and I truly appreciate the feedback. If you’d like to stay updated or hear more about this in the future, feel free to sign up. Your continued support is greatly valued!

I am a caregiver who is new to Care.com and every time I apply to a job that was posted that day I get a response of “Not actively hiring now” How can this be when when the post was just made?

Hello! I'm a university student whose group is working on a project for an autonomous vehicle robot which delivers medicine to the elderly and those who are chronically ill. If there's anyone whose elderly family members need to be taken care of or live in nursing homes, would you please fill out this survey?

https://forms.gle/fsB1PGu1Nw9qQ6ud9

Any help and feedback is much appreciated, thank you for your time!

Hi! My name is Hannah Case; I am a Doctor of Occupational Therapy student at the University of St. Augustine for Health Sciences. I am researching the impact of urinary incontinence in children ages 7-13.

 I am looking for caregivers who would like to participate in a survey (about 20 minutes) and/or a virtual interview (about an hour) and children to participate in a virtual interview (about 30 minutes). All responses will be anonymous. Please see the flyer for more information. 

If you know anyone who meets the criteria, please feel free to share the flyer with them!  

Here is the link to sign up also at the bottom of the flyer: https://forms.office.com/r/F0LMnPgSbb

THIS PROJECT HAS BEEN REVIEWED AND APPROVED BY THE UNIVERSITY OF ST. AUGUSTINE FOR HEALTH SCIENCES INSTITUTIONAL REVIEW BOARD FOR THE PROTECTION OF HUMAN SUBJECTS.

IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS OR CONCERNS, THOSE QUESTIONS OR CONCERNS SHOULD BE DIRECTED TO THE INSTITUTION-WIDE IRB CHAIR, DR. MOHAN GANESAN, EMAIL: MGANESAN@USA.EDU, PHONE: 760-410-5279. 

https://preview.redd.it/5vlopp9uqdad1.png?width=1545&format=png&auto=webp&s=e7b3597f8c318a193c704ae840b76076be6ddc9b

If anyone here lives in Texas and you’re on care.com whether you’re a client or a caregiver.

CLIENTS: Stop posting that you’re only willing to pay less than $20/hr. I understand some ppl may be financially limited, if that’s case seek for help through Medicare or even the VA if they are veterans or spouses of a veteran. Caregiving is NOT easy and if you’re so financially limited than you need to find a way to care for your loved one yourself if you’re going to be cheap about it. Caregivers are there not only because they care but also because they have bills and families too and they need to survive too.

CAREGIVERS: STOP applying to clients that are posting for less than $20/hr. YOU are part of the reason why clients won’t stop posting for less $20hr. If everyone would just stop applying to those jobs than the client would have no choice but to increase the rate they are willing to pay. PLEASE. There is NO WAY people can live off of anything less than $20hr in the economy We are there to provide care for their loved ones but it is also a JOB. We provide convenience and we also help alleviate family stress and burn out when we care. We need to get paid for what we do. Caregiver are UNDERPAID and we if we want it to stop we need to be the ones putting a STOP to as well.

Like I said if they really need care than they will pay.

YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR

My mother died last year of stage IV cancer. I lived with both of my parents and my mom's father. My mother and I were the primary caretakers of my great aunt (my grandpa's sister) and him, with my boyfriend also acting as a secondary caretaker. My aunt also died last year, and my partner and I were left as the primary caretakers of my grandfather.

I mention this because my dad was not really involved, either with time or money, in the caretaking of my grandpa. I used to have three jobs to keep up with the expenses and help pay for medical bills and my aunt's hospice fees.

Caretaking for my grandpa has also gotten tougher. After my mom's death, he became even more depressed (he's battled with depression his whole life) and was diagnosed with Lewy Body dementia, which makes him hallucinate and have mood swings quite often.

When my mom was around, even though I felt stressed about managing three jobs, we would take turns to help each other relieve the burden. Whenever my mom went out, I would gladly take care of my grandpa and also learned to drive and helped with errands since my mom didn't know how to drive. But with my dad, things changed. He had a very cordial and friendly relationship with my grandpa until he came to live with us, and when my mom died, he stopped talking to him, acting like he was angry at him all the time. He gets very exasperated whenever he has to watch him (which almost always involves just looking after him, giving him his meds, and making something simple for dinner like a sandwich).

My grandpa obviously became aware of how my dad treated him, and this situation started triggering episodes where he tries to leave the house because he can't stand being with my dad alone. This results in my dad throwing a fit and getting mad every time I go to the movies or hang out with my friends. My grandpa has tried to escape the house on some occasions due to hallucinations, but with my dad, he says he wants to leave because of him.

This lack of support has eroded my relationship with my dad since he can't see that whenever he goes out, I don't text him to come back home, call him about how annoying my grandpa is, or try to manipulate him to not leave the house, which are things he does. I went on vacation for two weeks, and he stopped talking to me and told everyone that next time, I need to stay at home at all times because he will never do this again.

I didn't expect to leave my house so soon since my boyfriend and I are planning to remodel a house my mom left for me (which is not habitable at the time), and I don't have a job that lets me pay for a loan. I allocate a good chunk of my salary to meds and healthcare for my grandpa, so I don't have a lot of extra money. But my boyfriend told me my grandad and I should move in with him and his other two roommates (some of my best friends from college) who have agreed to us moving in. My bf told me he can support us financially for a few months until I find an extra gig or a higher-paying job. I'm a web designer, but the market's a bit collapsed.

Anyways, I just wanted to come here to expose my situation and ask for advice because since my mom died, my relationship with my dad has deteriorated a lot. Probably moving out (he always says I should stay whenever I tell him my plans) will chip away another chunk of our relationship (he's conservative and wants me to leave before I marry). But honestly, living with him and being a caretaker is exhausting. He's also been dedicated to finding a new partner almost a month and a half after mom died (which is another story, but...).

I just want to know how to handle this situation because even though my dad's been having a horrible attitude lately, I still love him. I also want tips on moving out and finding gigs to stabilize my finances since I'm a caretaker, and finding a gig to work from home would be ideal.

Thanks for reading. Please be kind since I'm on the brink of depression lol.

P.S. Also I'm eager to provide additional context if needed.

Does anyone know what resources I can look into to becoming a caregiver for my ex's mother. Its an odd situation but he walked out as I planned to become his mothers caregiver thinking we would've eventually married me in but that didn't work and hospice and other options would not provide the proper care she needs. I became a daughter in her eyes even after her son left me and her and I live together where I take full care of her. I went down the family caregiver route but it looks like they'll deny me and no other family nor either of her sons want to help so I stepped up and just need to know if there are any other routes I can take to become her full time paid caregiver and if so how do I go about that in the state of Georgia?

Hi everyone!

I am a psychology doctoral candidate at the University of Connecticut looking to recruit high school-aged teens for a Pain Coping Skills class.

Study Title: The Effectiveness of a Brief Acceptance and Commitment Training program on Adolescent Chronic Pain and Psychological Flexibility

The purpose of this study is to determine if a Pain Coping Skills class helps high school students with chronic pain and psychological flexibility. We also want to see if students perceive the study as helpful and a good fit for a brief, virtual intervention. 

Participants will be asked to:

•       Complete bi-weekly surveys to understand their ability to adjust their behavior to challenges, how pain interferes with their daily life, and how they choose to accept or not accept chronic pain

•       Participate in three weekly sessions where the interventionist and the student will work on determining the difference between pain control versus pain acceptance, considering how to pay attention to thoughts without letting them control our actions, determining our values, setting and committing to goals in line with our values

•       Complete a survey asking how much they liked or disliked the intervention and if they felt like the intervention fit for a brief, virtual intervention

To join, the student must be aged 14 to 18, enrolled in High School, have pain that has persisted for 3 months or more, report English as your primary language, demonstrate being psychosocially and physically impacted by chronic pain, and must not be enrolled in a behavioral pain intervention.

Based on previous research, participation may improve your ability to adjust your behavior to challenges and to commit to meaningful actions despite chronic pain. It also may decrease the interference of pain in your daily life.

Each participant will be paid up to $50 in Amazon gift cards for attending all weekly sessions. The participant will receive a five-dollar card after the first intervention session, a ten-dollar card after the second intervention session, and the remainder of the total amount ($35) after the third intervention session.

To learn more about this research, please feel free to contact me at Brenna.Fitzmaurice@UConn.edu. This research is conducted under the direction of Dr. Melissa Bray of the UConn School Psychology Department.

Hi! My name is Hannah Case; I am a Doctor of Occupational Therapy student at the University of St. Augustine for Health Sciences. I am researching the impact of urinary incontinence in children ages 7-13.

 I am looking for caregivers who would like to participate in a survey (about 20 minutes) and/or a virtual interview (about an hour) and children to participate in a virtual interview (about 30 minutes). All responses will be anonymous. Please see the flyer for more information. 

If you know anyone who meets the criteria, please feel free to share the flyer with them!  

Here is the link to sign up also at the bottom of the flyer: https://forms.office.com/r/F0LMnPgSbb

THIS PROJECT HAS BEEN REVIEWED AND APPROVED BY THE UNIVERSITY OF ST. AUGUSTINE FOR HEALTH SCIENCES INSTITUTIONAL REVIEW BOARD FOR THE PROTECTION OF HUMAN SUBJECTS.

IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS OR CONCERNS, THOSE QUESTIONS OR CONCERNS SHOULD BE DIRECTED TO THE INSTITUTION-WIDE IRB CHAIR, DR. MOHAN GANESAN, EMAIL: MGANESAN@USA.EDU, PHONE: 760-410-5279. 

https://preview.redd.it/hnmtg0ur4s7d1.png?width=1545&format=png&auto=webp&s=e223362fab1eb9ec3db753c3140328e2b1a1b5e9

Hi! I am an occupational therapy grad student at Worcester State University and I am working on my masters thesis to identify how belonging in a group impacts the wellbeing of caregivers of individuals with disabilities. If anyone is willing, I would greatly appreciate if you could fill out the survey linked below! No personal information will be gathered and this survey is completely anonymous.

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSd-S3o46re_HDhabkBDFsycWMj0o8ksU_a8esVjB7UZavjstg/viewform?usp=sf_link

Dear members of r/caregiversofreddit, I am reaching out to ask for your help with my thesis research. My study is on caregivers who take on driving an older adult (65+) who no longer can or who must drive less than they once did. I would be eternally grateful for your participation! The anonymous survey takes about 10 minutes. If you provide transportation for an elder who has had to stop driving, please take a moment to participate in my study by clicking the following link: https://forms.gle/ChPEraDCZcKeMHL1A Thank you so much for your time and contribution!

Being put into a caregiving role and everything that entails (the stress, worry, constant heaviness in my soul, impact on social life, relationships, being judged, forgotten, feeling like life was slipping away from me, etc) had gotten so intense for me that it was making me feel suicidal. After I ‘snapped’ and attempted, I got on anti depression medications. It has been years since I was in that really dark spot but I do feel like the medication helps me continue staying somewhat sane. I never had a need to be on depression medication until I become a caregiver and felt my life being affected in every single aspect. I have been caregiving for my sister since 2019. is anyone else utilizing mood medication to help get through life as a caregiver? I am not completely devoid of days where I am overwhelmed, stress, worried about the outcome of my future, scared my sister will die but it does help that I’m not experiencing those aspects 100% of the time.

I'm a caregiver, I'm also a wife with four kids and I'm in a wreck. I didn't sign up for this but then again I felt like I did when I got married. Me and my husband are 29 yrs apart and he had a stroke in 2022. He also had another heat attack in December of 22' I honestly thought that he was gone but no, like a cat with nine lives my husband survived. Let me get to the point, being the only person working and caring for my husband and my kids is a ball buster. Nobody said it was easy, and it's not. I feel like I'm carrying for a newborn baby all over again. My husband is paralyzed on the left side and on rare occasions he forgets who I am, my life has changed since I've been caring for my husband that I've had any time to care for myself. Stress levels increase and self esteem is gone even metabolism etc etc. There are times where I wish I could just leave and not look back, but I can't cause I'm not that type of person. I miss the good times that we had, even the best.. Were they the best?? I ask myself that from time to time. I'm a wife, mother, caregiver, I miss having a life, I miss being able to leave my house and go out to visit family, friends? I'm a wife, mother, caregiver and I'm a prisoner in my own home... How I crave for company or passion, to be Loved again and feeling wanted. Selfish of me to think such things. This is my life and to be honest being a caregiver isn't for the weak.

I am tired. I reached caregiver burnout status 3-4 years ago. And still have had no respite. Dammit, I care about what’s going on in the world around me, but taking care of someone with an sTBI and a separate someone with dementia is exhausting. Doing it 24 hours a day for eight years and not having any income for it (other than room, board, and phone) is unreal. You may think that since my room, board and phone is included that I am receiving compensation and that should be enough. But let me inform you that never being able to say, ‘I know it’s my job, but no, I don’t feel like making dinner. Let’s get fast food or go to a restaurant’, is exhausting in a long term way that I don’t even know how to describe. To never be able to say to your young child, ‘sure, I’ll buy that thing for you’, is disheartening and depressing. We live in a consumer nation, we are forced to stare opportunities in the face every day, but I am paralyzed from anything except ‘no, I don’t have any income’. Can’t drive to the park without someone else paying for it, can’t go to the theatre, a restaurant, bowling, a hiking spot. I want you to try living for three months and not spend money on anything unless someone gives it to you. And mind you, at least 20 hours in your day are already monopolized. No slim Jim’s, Red Bulls, coffee houses, or transportation. Unless someone walks by and hands you the money for it. This caregiving for free is bull shit. Please God, make Abbott and his cronies see reason.

I just don't know how to cope or move on. I don't know what to do anymore. I take care of my husband (43y) who has epilepsy, two spinal fusions, and 10 years ago was diagnosed with the beginning stages of early onset Alzheimer's. I knew Alzheimer's ran in the family, and that EVENTUALLY I would have to face it. But when the doctors told me that the same congenital malformation that causes his epilepsy and his predisposition to Alzheimer's, compounded by his self medicating back pain with alcoholism had triggered early onset Alzheimer's in his 30s I was devastated. They gave me hope by telling us that if he quit drinking and started doing neuroplasticity exercises that it would slow the deterioration. Neither of which my husband deemed worthy of undertaking.

He did at least get sober 2 years ago. But now, the memory issues are becoming far more evident. He's lost major childhood memories. He can't remember major portions of his own medical history. He doesn't remember things from week to week or some times from day to day. He has even started forgetting parts of OUR life together......... and it's killing me. It's not fair.

I've had a hard enough life. No really..... REALLY REAALLY HARD and this man is the ONLY peace and joy that I have had in it. And though I love our children, even they have put us through hell and back. Between his health, MY life/ health, and everything else, I stopped working 7 years ago. I just can't do it anymore. I take care of him, and I am trying to get my own health in order at the same time. But as his memory goes every single day, my own struggle to keep going forward just gets harder and harder. I'm realizing that I will never get MY happy ending, the life of peace that we both envisioned. There is no point in trying to make memories anymore because he won't retain them to share with me. I just don't know what to do with this, don't know how to cope. I can't really stop crying over it and can't move forward. There's my rant. Any words of advice or inspiration would be appreciated.

Im a caregiver to my daughter ( 15) and mother. Both have numerous health issues & need 24/7 care. Im so tired all the time. I never get to get out or even have company. It's been around 10 years since I've done 1 thing for just me. I have noone to step in & help so I can have a break. I feel so guilty for even feeling this way 😪 They are the ones suffering & I'm complaining . I guess I'm just looking for ppl in similar situations or for validation for my feelings.