Those 3am thoughts hit different. Lying there, overwhelmed by my endless to-do list, when it hit me - I was asking myself the wrong question all along.

Instead of "should I meditate?" I started asking "is meditating serving me?" Instead of "should I check my phone?" - "is checking my phone serving me?" Instead of "should I stay at this job?" - "is this job serving me?"

The shift was subtle but powerful. "Should" was always about external expectations. What others thought. What I believed a "productive" person would do.

But "is this serving me?" - that question cut through the noise. Made things clearer:

• Social media? Not serving me before bed
• Morning walks? Serving my peace of mind
• Old habits I kept out of guilt? Not serving me at all

It's like my life started decluttering itself. Choices became simpler. Not always easier, but clearer.

Now when I catch myself in that "should" spiral, I pause and ask what's actually serving my growth, my peace, my purpose.

Mine's definitely trying to please everyone. I'd bend over backwards for people like saying yes to plans I didn't want to go to or going out of my way to help even when I didn't have enough energy to help myself. It was exhausting.

At some point, I realized it wasn't sustainable so I started saying no more often. Baby steps but I'm getting there. How about you guys?

Absolutely! I’ve noticed that reducing screen time helps me feel more present and less stressed. It gives me room to focus on hobbies, connect with loved ones, and improve my sleep. It’s a small change with big benefits! What are your views ?

Hey everyone! Lately, I have been feeling like I spend way too much time on my phone and want to break free and get more creative with my life. I’m looking for suggestions on how to cultivate creativity without the constant distraction of screens.

Whether it is hobbies, activities, or just simple daily changes, I want to hear what is worked for you! I’m hoping to reconnect with my imagination and focus on more meaningful, offline experiences. Any tips for getting started, or fun projects to dive into? Appreciate any advice or ideas you might have!

Yo, who else struggles with staying consistent? 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♀️

We’ve all been there—hitting snooze 10 times, saying “I’ll start tomorrow,” and somehow still not getting anything done. 😂 But what if we could actually be 1% better every day? 💪

I’m putting together a small group (just 10 people) who want to change that. Here's the vibe:

🚀 5 AM Wake-Up Challenge: No more excuses. Let’s wake up early for 10 days and see what happens.
🌓 Night Check-Ins: Quick daily reflections on what went right (or wrong). Let’s help each other out.
📱 Habit Logs & Wake-Up Calls: I’ll be checking in to make sure you’re on track—no ghosting allowed.
🎮 Fun & Chill Vibes: Games, chats, and keeping things light so we don’t burn out.

Ever hit snooze and still wonder why you’re late? 😂
What’s the one habit you know will make you feel like a boss but somehow never do?
If someone could call you every morning to make sure you're up, would you finally do it? 📞

Let’s fix that together and have some fun along the way! If you’re ready to stop making excuses and actually start, drop a comment or DM me. We got this. ✨

Also when spelling the words in English, is it ‘shoshin’ or ‘sho shin’? Thanks

Reducing screen time has really helped me create a more fulfilling life by allowing me to reconnect with myself and others in meaningful ways. I noticed that excessive screen use, especially social media, can create a constant comparison trap and unnecessary stress. By limiting my screen time, I’ve had more time to focus on hobbies, spend time with loved ones, and simply be present in the moment. It’s helped me become more mindful, improved my mental clarity, and reduced my anxiety. Itt’s a great way to set boundaries and prioritize what truly matters, whether that’s personal growth, self-care, or building real relationships. I’d love to hear how others feel about this too!

Listen up, fellow Redditors! 👋

I stumbled upon this article the other day and thought it was such a clever way to declutter a closet over a whole year 🤯. It's called the Reverse Hanger Trick, and it's the lazy person's way to a tidier wardrobe.

Here's the gist of it:

• Make every hanger in your closet face the same way (e.g., all hooks facing the back wall)
• When you wear something, hang it back up, but turn the hanger around to face the opposite way.
• At the end of the year, all the clothes on hangers that are still facing the original way haven't been worn and can be donated or tossed.
• It's like a silent game of hot potato with your clothes! 🥔

I'm loving this approach because it doesn't overwhelm you with a massive decluttering session. It's a gradual process that helps you identify the clothes you actually reach for. Plus, it's a great way to motivate yourself to wear different outfits from the depths of your closet.

Has anyone else tried this technique? I'd love to hear your thoughts! Let's make this a community closet cleanout challenge. 🧹

#closetgoals #declutter #reversehanger #fashionhacks

Excerpt from the book

"The Zen Wisdom and the Monkey Mind":

“Once upon a time there was a monk who lived in a small house with six windows. One day, a mischievous monkey sneaked into the house and started running from window to window, causing damage and making a lot of noise. The monk tried to catch the monkey, but it was agile and elusive, it seemed impossible to catch.

After a while, the monk decided to sit quietly and meditate. Soon, the monkey realized that there was nothing else interesting in the house and stood watching the monk meditate.

Seeing the monk's calm and serenity, the monkey approached and sat next to him, also in silence.

The monk opened his eyes and saw the monkey beside him, at peace. Then, he understood that the true way to deal with distractions and chaos of the mind was through calm and serenity. “He realized that, like the monkey, the mischievous and worried mind could be calmed and pacified through the practice of meditation.”

Continuous learning is essential for self-growth because it helps us improve and adapt to new challenges. When we keep learning, we gain new skills, knowledge, and perspectives that allow us to solve problems better and make smarter decisions. It keeps our minds sharp, boosts our confidence, and makes us more flexible in facing life's changes. Learning helps us grow both personally and professionally, ensuring that we can reach our full potential over time.

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Setting up a calm environment in your living space helps reduce stress, improve focus, and promote relaxation. It creates a peaceful atmosphere that supports better mental health, restful sleep, and overall well-being.

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Welcome to Self-Reflection Sunday, our weekly thread for you to reflect and discuss how the last week has been for you, and to also set goals, challenges for the coming week. Below are some examples of what you might want to post:

• Share your success stories from the past week
• Share whether you were able to complete your goals or targets for the past week and discuss what obstacles you faced in trying to achieve your goals and how you might be able to overcome them (or to seek advice on how to overcome them).
• Setting new goals for the coming week
• Discussing new meditation, mindfulness or zen habit building techniques that you have tried this week or that you want to work into your routines for the coming week
• Giving advice for things for people to try for the coming week

Remember to check back in with us next week to let us know how things went!

Managing stress is important for staying healthy and focused. It helps improve mental clarity, physical well-being, and emotional balance, making it easier to handle challenges and enjoy life.

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Excerpt from the book "The Zen Wisdom and the Monkey Mind":

When Yoshi arrived at the Hoshin temple, he saw how a mischievous monkey was playing a trick on the wise monk. The monkey found a watering can, filled it with water and hid behind a rock. As Hoshín passed by, the monkey sneaked up behind him and poured the water over his head, laughing mischievously.

Instead of getting angry or upset, Hoshin simply turned to the monkey with a wide smile. “Ah, my dear friend,” he said calmly, “thank you for reminding me of the impermanence of things. Just as water flows over me, so too life always changes and evolves.”

The monkey was surprised by Hoshín's wise words, stopped fluttering, put the watering can aside and sat down to reflect in silence.

Practicing gratitude helps improve mental health, strengthens relationships, and builds resilience. It shifts focus to the positives in life, making people happier, more mindful, and motivated to grow.

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How can you practice equanimity in a work environment when the culture typically includes big reactions to changing circumstances. Even if you are solving the problem, I find that others get upset that you are not reacting in the way they are. They get frustrated that their emotional response is not being mirrored. A calm demeanor can be labeled as arrogant, indifferent, or not understanding the importance of the issue at hand.

Welcome to Self-Reflection Sunday, our weekly thread for you to reflect and discuss how the last week has been for you, and to also set goals, challenges for the coming week. Below are some examples of what you might want to post:

• Share your success stories from the past week
• Share whether you were able to complete your goals or targets for the past week and discuss what obstacles you faced in trying to achieve your goals and how you might be able to overcome them (or to seek advice on how to overcome them).
• Setting new goals for the coming week
• Discussing new meditation, mindfulness or zen habit building techniques that you have tried this week or that you want to work into your routines for the coming week
• Giving advice for things for people to try for the coming week

Remember to check back in with us next week to let us know how things went!

Excerpt from the book

"The Zen Wisdom and the Monkey Mind":

The first monkey, with his hands covering his eyes, was called Mizaru. He personified the principle of “see no evil,” reminding all who crossed his path of the importance of not focusing on the bad in people and situations, nor obsessing over negative or harmful thoughts.

The second monkey, with its hands covering its ears, was called Kikazaru. He represented the idea of “hear no evil,” teaching others not to listen to gossip or harmful words that could cause discord and harm.

The third monkey, with its hands covering its mouth, was known as Iwazaru. He exemplified the concept of “speak no evil,” encouraging others to think before they speak and to use their words only for goodness and truth.

Together, the three monkeys taught everyone the importance of avoiding harmful thoughts, words and actions, to focus on seeing the positive in people and not the negative, to avoid listening to and spreading gossip and harmful words and to use words wisely and goodness.

Their simple but profound message taught everyone to strive to cultivate purity of heart and maintain a clear and calm mind.”

The voices of torrents are from one great tongue, the lions of the hills are the pure body of Buddha.

Hi!😊

Would you say its wise to attach a good habit to a bad habit? Like "Before picking up your phone to check a social media app, you will close your eyes and take one mindful breath"

Good thing about this would be that the one mindful could be a trigger that would make me take more mindful breaths the just one. Also the mindful breathing could cause me to not needing to check social media because i am already peaceful and happy.

But is it a good thing to attach a new habit to something that happens like 100 times pet day? (Checking the phone) Because eventually i will run out of willpower to follow through on that "one mindful breath before checking the phone"

Or maybe its better to attach the new habit to something that happens only a few times per day? Like going to the toilet or eating a meal. Or is it better to attach the new habit to something that usualy happens only once like waking up in the morning, going to bed at night?

Sry if this wasnt very well written i just wanted to get it off my mind! 😁

Every year on my birthday I write a list of lessons as long as my age. These I’ve gleaned from an unusual amount of disaster & triumph collected in these short four decades.

I do this mainly for myself, but share them in hopes it will provide you at least one worthwhile insight, maybe even change the course of your life, like these have done for me.

Enjoy!

1. Every dollar is a seed. If I’d known this in my 20s I’d be ten times wealthier. Spending money is fun, but when you do, it’s gone. When you plant money as a seed (invest) then it grows and makes more money. At this point in my life I’m putting every dollar to work before spending them in order to create MORE money, so I can one day live off the interest.
2. Goals are not that important. Many have goals but few achieve them. Why? Because earning 1 million dollars is literally out of your control. You don’t get to dole out the money. Systems, habits, and actions are far more important. You DO get to decide to create the lead funnel, to study marketing, to dedicate your daily actions to the goal. Understand the distinction—it’s crucial.
3. Believe in the value of what you have to say. No amount of power posing, conversation hacks, or preparation can help you hold an audience if you’re NOT confident in what you’re saying. So choose to believe that every word you speak has immense value. It does.
4. People aren’t watching you nearly as closely as you think. We are each hyper-aware of our own image, actions, words, and behaviours. It follows that other people have very little capacity to care about how your hair looks or that you mispronounced “espresso”. And if they do, who cares?
5. It’s pronounced, “ess-presso”, not “ex-presso.” 🙂
6. You can choose to see every setback as something working in your favour. A client’s son broke the 13ft glass panel in her brand new storefront window (he’s fine). Maybe this avoided someone getting hurt, or a lawsuit. You can CHOOSE to live as if everything’s working out for you. You can argue that this is delusional, but it really does become a self-fulfilling prophecy, so why not try it?
7. If you want something, give it first. Want respect? Give respect. Want success? Start embodying the energy of success. If you want to call forth the woman you desire, you have to be the partner she desires.
8. Raise your prices. If you’re a small business owner, do not try to create sales by lowering your prices. You’ll just attract needy, problem clients, and burn yourself out while going broke. Instad, offer a premium or high-ticket product or service with healthy margins.
9. Related: Your most soul-aligned client is not looking for you to give them a discount.
10. Prioritize recurring income. This sounds like a “no duh” but I don’t see many business owners doing it. Memberships and subscriptions are your best friend. Create a product or service that you can charge for monthly, and you’ll get off the feast and famine rollercoaster that many business owners face.
11. If you want to be happy, detach from outcomes. 100% of your unhappiness comes from trying to control outcomes. You want your partner to act differently, to hit a sales goal, to have a different president. But guess what? You can choose to be happy, now, without needing anything in life to be different.
12. You can choose to be happy. The best kind of happiness is unreasonable—to be happy without reason. Sure, it’s easy to be happy because you won the lottery, or you’re on vacation, or mid-sex... but you don’t need these conditions to be happy. You can decide, in this very moment: “I choose to be happy.”
13. "No" is a beautiful word. Saying “no” to opportunities is almost as important as saying “yes”. Not every opportunity that comes your way will be the right one (few will be). I’ve started saying no to potential clients who just don’t feel aligned, and suddenly far more ideal clients are finding me.
14. Your love language is determined by what you didn’t get as a child. Everyone has a primary love language (acts of service, gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, or touch). Yours is compelling because this is exactly what your parents failed to give you. When you start giving it to yourself, you’ll stop looking to others to make you feel good.
15. Beliefs create our reality. I’ve come to doubt that objective reality exists (quantum physics suggests as much). Two people can live polar opposite experiences: one believes that life is nasty and tough—the other that everything always works out in his favour. And they are both right. Reality is extremely pliable, and always gives us exactly what we believe.
16. Success can come easy. Your parents, teachers, and society have it wrong (what a surprise!) You don’t need to suffer, sacrifice, hustle, or grind to create wealth, abundance, and fulfillment. Yes, you need to take some action, but good things can and do come easily.
17. Success comes faster when you feel good. You can’t do any good work when you’re frustrated, angry, worn out, pushing, or battling life. People who take action while having fun—excited, passionate, in the flow state—run circles around the hustle & grind masses.
18. Shut out the noise to find your voice. If you’re always consuming content—Instagram, podcasts, blog posts—you’ll start to sound like them. To find your own voice, take an “information vacation” and simply sit in solitude, daydreaming, walking in the woods, soaking in a bath.
19. Your unique voice is the best marketing. Marketing can be a challenge because the world is so noisy. How do you rise above the din? You say something different. You offer deeper insights than the next guy. And you keep doing it over and over.
20. Challenges will never cease. Stop hoping for life to get easier—the only way for that to happen is if you stop trying anything new, and lock yourself in a well-upholstered room (which creates new problems). It doesn’t matter how many dollars, connections, resources, or friends you have; how good looking you are, how well connected your parents are... every human will face challenges to the day they die. That realization doesn’t have to be demoralizing. It’s liberating to know that despite life’s surprises you can cultivate the fortitude to not only overcome challenges, but to play with them and have fun doing it.
21. Get a good bed. If you’re not waking up refreshed, your whole day, and thus your whole life, will feel lethargic. Yes, a quality bed, sheets, and mattress can cost a fortune. Spend the money anyway; the return on investment is incalculable.
22. Don’t lie, ever. Especially to yourself. White lies can be convenient in the (very) short term, but ultimately destroy your character from the inside. You never get away with lies, because everyone can feel the energy of a lie even if they’re not consciously aware of the deception. They won’t know why, but they won’t trust you and won’t want to be around you. And being trustworthy is a key to your happiness, wealth, and success.
23. If you wake up in the middle of the night, get up, and write. Sure maybe you’re up at 3 AM because of that spicy Thai food. But more likely is that some voice inside of you wants attention. Your mind is too damn chaotic during the day for that voice to reach you. Get out of bed, sit silently, and write down whatever comes up. That information is invaluable.
24. Laugh at yourself. If you’re a serious person, get over that fast before you die serious. Life is an incredibly short illusion, we might live in a computer simulation, and, spoiler alert: you die at the end. How can you NOT laugh at that!? Go out and have a wild time.
25. Play more. Play is the antidote to most everything: illness, depression, stress, boredom, ennui, relationship discord. Hang out with children more often, and participate.
26. You don’t need to have it all figured out before you give your gifts. I hear this often: “How can I coach/teach/guide/lead if I haven’t done this thing myself, yet?” But it’s precisely because you’ve been grappling with the “thing” that you are perfectly positioned to shepherd others along the same path. Leadership means walking together, not making pronouncements from the top of the mountain.
27. Imposter syndrome doesn’t exist. It’s a nonsense term that’s wormed its way into the Zeitgeist and holds you down. Hmm, what was that word we used to use to describe being aware of your limitations? Oh, right... humility! You’re OK. You’re normal. Stop telling yourself you’re not good enough. Do all the things anyway. 
28. To change fast, post notes on your wall. I’ve taped printed notes throughout my house that remind me to be here now, play more, be a leader, that I’m a money genius (and on and on). The speed of your transformation depends on how often you remind yourself to shift your beliefs & habits.
29. Give yourself a break when you fall short. Holding yourself to unreasonable standards slows down your growth. Criticizing yourself blocks your progress. You won’t turn into a lazy wreck if you give yourself more grace.
30. Don’t do too much self-improvement. High achievers, listen: life is not just about growing, improving, and evolving. Life is also about eating ice cream in the bathtub, making dick jokes with friends, and, sometimes, staring out the window. Don’t forget to make space to actually experience life on your quest for enlightenment.
31. You’re free to put whatever you want into your body, but there will be consequences. Dairy, gluten, sugar, caffeine, and meat are insanely delicious. But too much of any will gum up the machine of your body, cloud your mind, and take you farther from the mental, emotion, and spiritual clarity you would enjoy more than anything else. And PS, sometimes it’s easier to cut these cold turkey than to try to moderate them.
32. Get acquainted with your feelings. I’m speaking mainly to the traditional men here. You’re a warrior, a magician, maybe even a king. But you are also a lover. Life is bleak and meaningless unless you regularly feel intense joy, passion, love, enthusiasm, and appreciation. Success, winning, money, and sex mean nothing unless you’re constantly plugged into your emotional guidance system.
33. Business owners: sharpen your ideas in the market, not in your mind. There’s no point in building the “perfect product” if nobody buys it. Stop obsessing with your product, and start obsessing with putting it in front of customers to see how they play with it. Improve, repeat.
34. Trying to “get ahead” is holding you back. What are you trying to get ahead of? Others? Now you’re playing their game. Trying to get ahead of your former self? You’ll always feel inadequate. Trying to get ahead financially? That just shines a spotlight on the money shortage. Try this instead: “I am so freakin’ grateful for what I have, and excited for even more to come!”
35. Share your failures. People don’t actually want to hear success stories—“I started a business, made a million in my first month, and it was super easy!” Boring. They want to hear about overcoming struggles. “Here’s how I built my business in the year that my wife left me, my dog died, and my house got hit by a meteor.” Show us how you handled adversity, and triumphed. That’s great marketing.
36. You don’t need patience when you have certainty. If you’re pursuing a goal, but you’re not convinced you’ll get there, patience can help. But the advanced move is to choose to believe—to KNOW, without a doubt—“this is happening”. Knowing trumps hoping.
37. To control spending, put cash into jars. My wife and I want to eliminate our debt, but have been spending too freely on dinners out. Now we put a hundred dollar bill into a jar each month and only spend that. I bitch about it, but it works.
38. Don’t wait to donate. It’s tempting to say, “I’ll give to worthy causes when I have my money situation sorted out.” Paradoxically, it’s exactly when you’re in lack that it’s important to give. Money is energy, and allowing that energy to flow through you unclogs the pipes of abundance and moves you faster toward the wealth you seek. I still struggle with this, but I know it works.
39. Don’t hold back because you’re afraid of triggering people. Be kind. Compassionate. Tactful. But don’t silence your voice because you’re worried about making someone uncomfortable. Their triggers are their business, not yours. Remember: nobody has the power to make you feel anything. Only you do that to yourself. 
40. Stop trying to change everyone else. Change yourself first. ‘Nuff said.
41. Grow a garden. Find a small patch of earth and learn to grow and care for life. The ritual of tilling, planting, watering, and weeding teaches secrets about life that you can’t find in books or podcasts.
42. Sit less. Too much sitting is terrible for the body. Move around, walk, exercise, and stretch, and you’ll feel alive and energetic in your body and mind. And you’ll avoid a whole bunch of trips to the doctor. If you’re office-bound, get a sit-stand desk.
43. Open your heart to the world. Life can harden your heart, but your challenge is to stay open anyway. Try this: as you walk through your day, imagine that it’s your heart literally leading the way. When you speak, imagine the words are coming from your heart. Think from the heart. Touch from the heart. Listen from the heart. Think, work, fuck, and do the dishes from the heart. Anything less is a half-existence.

What do you think? Unavoidably, these will trigger some and uplift others, and that’s OK. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!