Hello we all heard sentences that are mostly taught in spiritual circles, like:

➛ Past is an illusion.
➛ Past never existed.
➛ Past is not important.
➛ Time is an illusion.
➛ Past and future are not important at all.
➛ All that matters is now.
➛ Forget about the past. There is nothing but pain there.

These are the teachings of spiritual masters like Osho, Sadghuru, Echkart Tolle, etc.

I'd like to write down my own insights and experiences as a person who regulary meditates and wants to gather different points of views on this topic:

• I can understand the interpretation of spiritual masters that past can be a series of nows, but I disagree on point that > the series of nows - or past < plays no role in our lives.
• You would not be the same person without series of events that happened before your current present moment.
• When we look back on our past, we can learn a lot from it and not repeat the same mistakes we did before.
• Not learning from your past in any kind of way would be nothing but gullible and lead you to fall into the same pits you tried to escape from.
• You can call it your past, your series of nows but the fact is, it does affect us in multiple ways.
• With advancement of science and with various studies being done in the field of psychology, it is well established that past affects our bringing up, our views on the world, our traumas and current mental health (a lot of different events in the past caused certain traumas, mental ilnesses/disharmony of the spirit). Without looking at the cause, a proffesional/or you cannot understand the effect and finally find methods for the broken to become whole again.
• Discrediting our past as something outside of ourselves or something completely illusory would negate the benefits of looking into our past (without being obsessed with it) and seeing how we can improve our choices, learn from our wrongdoings, not repeat the same kind of toxic relationships, not indulge in certain types of diet, stay away from dangerous areas in the city, and so on...
• Even if we combined past, now and future into an eternal now, we cannot devalue the impact all of what I've mentioned has on shaping us substantially.
• Our past lives: There is value in mining "past" lives and understanding how we came to be who we are. Briefly, I see our souls as recorders that hold all of the experiences we've had in this system (This system includes Earth, the astral and the afterlife, and certainly some other more nebulous areas that have been created but are not necessarily traversed by everyone). Everything we've experienced through all of our incarnations, and in any of realms of this system, up until the now has formed our current personalities in these bodies, and I would argue, formed the souls we identify with.

All the versions we are, have been and will be shape a magic circle from which we can learn from in our spiritual journey.

A lot of phrases used in spirituality are shaped in a kind of black-and-white structure with no room of improvisation or experiencing the life in a different light. The golden rule is: there are no golden rules. I can comply with the element of universality and how there we are pure consciousness, nothingness, a hollow bamboo. But in the psychical world our past/series of nows shaped our unique bodies/minds and we shouldn't simply discredit it as nonexistent or something that poses no importance to different parts of what makes us an inimitable indvidual.

1. Learn from the past (understand how it shaped you, what mistakes you can learn from, use it as the grounds to also understand your likes/dislikes).
2. Live in the now (spend most of your time in the present moment, be aware and meditative in your actions).
3. Consciously plan for the future (make future plans but do not stay in that place, do not seek pleasure by a goal that's not yet a psyhical reality - understand where you want to be but still find a way to enjoy and be in the present moment). You can plan but do not stay in the future.

I am not trying to argue or pose my opinion/insight as the only right one, I want to get different views on this subject.

Based on my observation, and experiencing with various methods/concepts these kind of conclusions helped me the most with living a harmonious, content life.

My main question about this is if even you, who is reading this and came to the conclusion that time or past is an illusion, would you say you can reap some benefits from looking back on how you used to be, how you can react now, what was there to grasp, and the mistakes you can now avoid? Even if past doesn't exist and there's only an eternal now or how can I call it did our "our previous NOWS" or an evolution of one state to the next still affect our body/mind connections and who we currently are? I find that statement more or less undeniable.

I'd be glad to hear your opinion about it.

Kind regards.

Hey guys! I'm curious to hear if you have any tips, tricks, or rituals that help you strike a balance between being efficient and enjoying the moment. I practice mindfulness as much as I can but I'm open to incorporating more

Dissociation is a coping mechanism, a problem with attention control that involves an unintentional avoidance of focusing on the present. It is sometimes present in those with PTSD. In contrast, mindfulness is basically the opposite: it is the intentional practice of focusing on the present (in a nonjudgemental manner).

Considering many use mindfulness as a zen habit, it seems appropriate to mention here that scientists are seeing a pattern that shows the use of mindfulness to ease symptoms of dissociation - but because the best study so far involved self reporting, it cannot be taken as proof.

Disclaimer: mindfulness would not be recommended as a replacement for psychotherapy or trauma therapy and is not considered a primary treatment for pathological dissociation nor dissociative identity disorder. Therapists also recognize that mindfulness could do more harm than good for certain individuals (those still traumatized, those with repressed unresolved emotions, and/or those not ready/able to give up the dissociative coping mechanism).

Sources

1. "Mindfulness Meditation Leads To Increased Dispositional Mindfulness And Interoceptive Awareness Linked To A Reduced Dissociative Tendency" NIH, PubMed, D'Antoni, 2022.
2. "Mindfulness and Dissociation: Two Competing Opposing States?", Now About Meditation, Clayton Micallef, 3/8/24.

Hello everyone,

Recently, I've found myself increasingly drawn to the teachings and philosophy of Buddhism. The concepts of mindfulness, compassion, and inner peace really resonate with me, and I'm eager to delve deeper into this ancient tradition.

I'm reaching out to this community to seek recommendations for books that provide a comprehensive introduction to Buddhism. Whether it's an overview of its history, its core principles, or practical guides for incorporating Buddhist practices into daily life, I'm open to all suggestions.

If you have a favorite book that helped you understand Buddhism better or one that significantly impacted your spiritual journey, I would love to hear about it! Personal recommendations often carry invaluable insights that go beyond what you might find in a simple online search.

Thank you in advance for any recommendations or insights you can offer. I'm truly excited to embark on this journey of discovery and growth.

I hope you're all well!

My name is Aiza, I have been practicing meditation for about two years now. With meditation I found my peace habits, I enjoy power yoga and walking. Now I'd love to find like minded people to share experiences and find support.

The topic I've been thinking about is:

1. What could be a reason for you to find meditations difficult?

2. How did you start meditating? What was the "reason" for your first meditation?

At times, we find ourselves in a dilemma where it becomes difficult to distinguish between what is right and what is wrong. In such situations, we tend to overthink and this often leads to conflicts. However, we must understand that these are just social conventions that we have created. What may seem right to one person may seem wrong to another. surely This concept of right or wrong has made it possible to maintain society. But we often forget this fact and cause unnecessary mental conflict. It is important to be aware of this fact so that we can have a more peaceful state of mind.

I'm looking to discover new hobbies that can help me enter that focused and meditative flow state—without actually meditating. I'm currently taking up embroidery and I'm enjoying it so far. Currently looking for more calming hobbies to try so I'd love to hear your ideas. Thanks!

Hi. It’s been 8 months now… my alarm clock wakes me up, but i automatically put it off and keep sleeping for hours and hours until it’s 2pm…

after waking up, at least i get shit done. go to gym, be productive, eat smth proper

and then again going to bed is difficult again, thinking again…

i think way too much

i did many coping things i’m even writing a whole book for myself because writing is the best way for me to get the emotions out of my heart

but still, the going to sleep and waking up, is super hard..

a way that worked for me is to wake up in the morning and immediately tackle a task. this reallyyyy helped, but: i kinda avoided all my thoughts, and at evening they came back double strong which makes going to sleep hard and long.

my best friend says i need more time. but i don’t want to waste so much of my precious time…

another thing that helped me, is to go to sleep and wake up with a woman. but i don’t think this is the way to go. i don’t think this is a solution.

please help me guys

For those of you near the ocean

or a lake

Consider going later in the day

When the crowd has thinned

Stay a while

Maybe Lay

Maybe sit

Close your eyes if you wish

Calm your mind

Listen to the sound of the waves

Let memories of waves elsewhere come to mind

One by one.

As the waves approach imagine them

Pouring over you peace

As they recede

They take with them.

your troubles

One wave at a time.

They fill you with peace

They wash away your worries.

I'm working on a new habit to recharge during those short workday breaks. I'm quite good at managing my energy overall, but those 10-15 minute gaps are tricky. I often fall into the trap of scrolling through my phone for a quick dopamine hit, but that usually leaves me even more drained and feeling guilty for wasting my time.

So to help myself break that habit, I made a list of energizing activities. When I need a break, I just look at it for inspiration instead of grabbing my phone out of habit. It's a tough change, but I'm sure it will get easier with time.

My list is just shorter versions of what I do when I have more time: read a few pages of a book, watch an interview or educational video, make a to-do list for the rest of the week (it's meditative to me), do pushups or burpees, or go outside for a few minutes.

If you don't make use of short breaks, I totally suggest to try it. I honestly see the immediate effect and it helps me to be more productive and creative throughout the day, and I'm not as tired in the evenings.

As we all recharge in different ways, I'd love to hear what works for you, and perhaps add something to my routine.

Thanks and have a great day!

Should I do both every day?

Do you guys avoid one over the other?

I'm trying to understand if it is recommended to do both every day and if there are other types of soto zen meditation that you know.

Thank you so much.

Everyone has different ways of communicating and understanding different styles can be valuable to gain new perspectives.

However, a trend that is starting to irk me are a few people in my life who are scared to have certain honest conversations so they make jokes about what they can’t discuss by saying a harsh sounding statement and adding ‘lol' at the end.

Depending on the individual, I know how to address the conversation but the trend of adding ‘lol’ at the end continues..

Have others come to accept this trend as normal? Do those who do so think they are actually being kinder by doing so?

My Dad went to some kind of New Age Workshop and when he came home, he didn’t speak for a week. A homework assignment maybe. Drove my mother nuts.

That’s a bit extreme.

As part of hospice volunteer training we did exercises in active listening (repeating back what you heard/understood so a person feels heard).

Then I moved. New hospice training program. Different approach. We would lead new volunteers through a listening exercise telling volunteers to pair up. One person describes something emotional (could be true or fiction) the other person is to listen but attempt to refrain from the sorts of affirmations (nodding the head, uh-huh, or even positive statements) that for many of us are engrained. Nope. Just listen. Don’t interrupt at all. No nodding of the head. Stillness.

The premise in this is that we may think the other person is needing/wanting confirmation that we are listening. We may think they want affirmations (that they are a good person or we approve or they did the right thing) but more often, what is best for healing and for bonding is focused listening. Take your approval out of the conversation. This isn’t about you. It’s about them. Give them only your full attention anc your heart.

I pull on this skill sometimes (but more often might be even better).

Over the past few years I've noticed a pattern emerge. I'm increasingly unable to take criticism, whether it's aimed at myself, my family, or my country. Even if I know the criticism isn't wrong, I can't stop myself getting really worked up and defensive.

Some examples: my husband is a foreign national living in my country and if I hear him saying anything critical/negative about my country or the people, I get incredibly defensive for some stupid reason. Or if he has some criticism of my family I just instantly feel angry and defensive - even if deep down I know he's right! It's created a few arguments. I'm a bit more forgiving if it's aimed at me. There's less anger/defensiveness and more feeling hurt and attacked.

I haven't always been like this and I know it's a reflection of my deeper self that clearly needs some work. I remember a time a few years back that I reached my peak "chill" level and could take things slowly and reasonably. I don't know what changed. It's a toxic trait I want to work on. Any advice other than "just be able to take criticism"? Because in the moment I can't think reasonably.

I am a pretty chill person in general, but still growing my emotional intelligence as i work through past traumas. So for example, when it comes to dating after being out of the game for years, if i meet someone i like, i have no chill lol; i over text, i get excited and lose all patience. How do you handle this ?

This may be the wrong sub for this, but zen is where my path leads, so hopefully some insight here…

Intelligence has been ingrained in me since I was a child. The pursuit for knowledge and the thirst for the truth are ever present. A few years ago, however, I realized that being “right” isn’t always right.

Feelings are much more important than the constant reminder that facts don’t always trump positive vibes and peaceful interactions.

I guess I’m writing because at a certain point in a heated argument with a loved one, (whether it be my wife or some of my best friends) I’ve realized that being right doesn’t really matter. DOING right by the ones you love, is a much more generous and peaceful way of life.

My issue is that I don’t always realize this until after I’ve said something in a way I could be more caring towards the other person about. This isn’t to say I fly off the handle, or get angry, but sometimes temperatures rise. Ultimately, once calm, the arguments end up getting rehashed and I realize my where I went wrong, but the majority of the time, my misstep, seems like only a small detail that escalates into a much larger fight.

Once in that situation, I naturally end up on the defensive end of things. When I realize I’m wrong, I admit it, and apologize immediately. In the case that I can’t see where I went wrong, I go in, and most of the time “for the kill.” This usually results in being berated and/or gaslit, and later, I find myself thinking “what did I do wrong?”

I am very self-aware, and realize I’m not perfect, and in fact, far from it, but where does the line between being right and conceding to a loved one, for peace’s sake exist?

Some days, my mom would drive me there, to my friend’s house. We played cards, a game called war, but stretched out in a long line of cards on the floor. She showed me the hiding place on their stair landing, maybe part of the underground railroad during pre-revolutionary war.

But on our best days, my mom did not drive me: we would walk towards each other through woods and fields, from our houses, to meet half-way.

I tracked her down on the internet decades later to thank her for her friendship years back. Times with her were happy times. That is enough to deserve a thank you, even if belated. She got wealthy during those years in-between. Leer-jet wealthy.

The best memory (not the day she taunted the bull, nope, that was a bit scary)…

The best day she took me to a circle of green grass (greener than the surrounding grass, maybe 8 feet in diameter). Softer too. Much softer. I hadn’t known grass that soft existed. We lay down to watch the clouds and chill and enjoy the softness.

“Maybe it was from grass seed planted for a putting green,” she said decades later.

This was my earliest memory of zen. Softest grass. Friend next to me. In silence. Watching clouds.

I had my father pick my fortune cookie. It said “life is simple. Life is actually really simple.” I just wanted to share my fortune. I hope life is simple for everyone. God bless! 💕

A while back, I worked for a hospice as a Volunteer Coordinator. One of our volunteers came into the office one day to tell me this story:

She had visited a hospice patient in a nursing home. This patient had been nonverbal for a while. The volunteer decided to ask the staff if they would allow the volunteer to push the patient in her wheelchair outside into the garden. Roses were in bloom. Sun was shining. It wasn’t too hot. “Sure” they said.

The volunteer wheels the patient outdoors. As they make their way through the garden, the patient reaches out to touch the leaves, fully engaged in the experience. So the volunteer lingered there in the rose garden a bit longer than she had originally planned.

After a bit, the volunteer began to head back towards the building with her patient to take the her back inside. As they were about to re-enter the building, the patient reached for the volunteer’s hand and kissed it.

Turns out, this patient had been an avid gardener in her younger days.

Nature can provide a zen experience; we can give it to others who crave it.

Imagine living inside a nursing home, unable to touch a leaf.

I have an 8MO and while I absolutely love life with him and find so much joy in being a mother, I know my mind is constantly in chaos. I always feel rushed and move with a sense of urgency even when it’s not really needed. I feel calm and focused when I’m with my child, but when I’m taking care of the 1 million other things that keep life running it’s a much different story. And I find I am too exhausted to meditate these days.

Any tips from those who have been there or are there? Please be kind - I’m an imperfect person / parent just doing my best!

I’m hoping we could get some conversation going about utilizing music as a Zen Habit. (No links please).

For years I used a CD of calming music to listen to in the car to and from work. The cover was white with a photo of a woman in a hammock. As I was dealing with hospice work and difficult office politics, this was my salve. It had a healing effect.

When I had insomnia, I tried falling asleep with ear buds in playing D wave music (diurnal beats) which are known to help not just with falling asleep but also with staying asleep and sleep quality. It helped too.

There are also some radio stations we can get through Alexa (WUMB for example) that lighten the mood in our home.

Then there are specific pieces of music:

• Pachebel’s cannon

• Boucelli’s Time To Say Good Bye

• the Beatles’ Norweign Wood

• Harry Chapin’s All My Life’s a Circle (we rewrote a few lyrics and had this played as part of our wedding ceremony)

These pieces of music must be effecting me on a physiological level. I melt when I hear them.

How about you? Any zen music stories to share?

Again, please, no links. (This sub has a need for more conversation.)