My story has gotten old and flabby. It just doesnt have the giant floppin titties that I fell in love with anymore!

Now that its old and boring, I want to find a new story that’s far younger and more powerful. Maybe something in the middle school range?

Guys, ive been hitting up the playground for weeks now but I just cant seem to find a decent replacement story!!!

HELP???!!!?!??????!

So i'm making this character (no name yet) who's gonna be at first a gruff, cynical and brash sixteen year old boy who goes on a brutal and unforgiving journey through the modern world overrun by monsters and gods

(kind of like Percy Jackson but more similar in tone and story structure to Bioshock and Last of Us)

and the reason he doesn't get killed easily like most humans is because his bloodline was cursed so when it reached him (the thirteenth generation) he was unholdable by Death, meaning he will feel the pain of being dead, his body will crumble but his soul will force itself back into the body and bring him back

however i want the price of dying over and over to be he slowly loses what little sanity he has and goes completely clinically insane, going to lengths like burning down entire forests just to kill one group of monsters and even falling out of touch with his humanity, leading to far more brutal and horrific actions

For example at the start of the novel, he'll nearly puke at the idea of taking a life again, but then by the end of it he gets captured and ends up ripping out his guard's spines and using them as clubs to kill while he finds his stolen supplies

TLDR: Making a traumatized, unkillable fallen hero character and need to know how to improve his character

btw name suggestions are totally something i'd like too!

So many authors and writers say to ‘just write!’ but I’ve tried that and then my hands get tired and it becomes a chore rather than something I enjoy doing, like contemplating my decades of worldbuilding. Then I get burned out and end up despising it. So, what “writing” things do you do to keep from tiring out? Speech to text, ChatGPT, taking other books and putting my name on it, etc…

any ideas?

I've been writing a dystopian sci-fi novel since 2006, which is to have 24 volumes. There are gang fights in space, epic battles, intrigues and conspiracies, and each volume is supposed to end with a cliffhanger. So far, I've created profiles for 700 main characters, including backstory, marital status, favorite color, and social security number. Each of the characters will have their own POV, and I envision each individual storyline coming together into a single, coherent story at the end. However, I'm still having trouble coming up with a plot. As I said, I only have the 700 main characters at the moment, but I'm still planning about 2,400 secondary characters. Should I create profiles for them before I think about a plot? I'm just not sure whether the number of characters is enough and whether I might be putting myself at a disadvantage by focusing my story on such a limited group of people. What do you think?

I've seen some people post their lil writings here, and I figured I'd do the same and give you all a glimpse into my new literary masterpiece. Keep in mind I am doing this as a favor to you. I already know my work is perfect and I don't need to improve whatsoever. So without further ado...

ahem.

Prologue/Preface:

The big boobily breasted woman sauntered down the street, her boobs flopping meticulously with every step she took. She was curvy with big, round, and luscious hips, which soon gave way to legs that seemed to extend for miles. It was no secret that all the men wanted her, and as they came in droves, she promptly stopped and proceeded to lay down on the sidewalk, spreading her legs so the mindless wee-wees could take their fill.

This happened every Saturday. Until all of a sudden, it didn't.

Now, this is where I start to infodump like any seasoned writer. This world, it isn't like ours. It is an alternate reality where people are reduced to their sex characteristics, and all of them lack any sort of depth beyond that. It is for this reason why the planet they live on has been aptly named Sextopia. All people did all day, every day was have a gargantuan amount of sex. Madam Boobford, the woman from before, was one of the craziest sex fiends on the planet to the point where everyone assumed her genitalia had a mind of its own. And perhaps they were right. 😉

STDs were non-existent on this planet, since everyone has evolved past that. And clothing was illegal. If you were caught wearing clothing, you could be arrested and fined up to 1,000,000 sex dollars! So, don't wear clothes, people!

Anyway, like I said, something happened to Madam Boobford. Something atrocious. She was found dead shortly after her Saturday sexscapades with multiple stab wounds in her gut. What's worse, however, were her boobs were missing! As if whoever committed this heinous act only cared for one thing and one thing only.

"Finally, I have them!" Dr. Evil Pennington III said from his very evil laboratory a few neighborhoods over from where the murder took place. "The most glorious and luscious boobs in all the land are finally mine!"

With no hesitation, he slapped them onto his newly designed personal sex robot, all while laughing maniacally. And that was how Madam Boobford became a sex robot.

I’m not kidding, I’ll write anything. I simply do not care anymore. Do you think you have talent? Do you think you don’t? Doesn’t matter, I’ll write that erotica anyway. I’ll lie all the way to the moon for a politician and paint you a god instead of a nobody with money. Just please give me money, I am begging you.

Now, I see you may be wondering, why hire me, an uneducated sad little man living alone in a trailer park after his wife kicked him out of his own house. Why not hire Phil instead? He’s a lawyer, he knows how to write, doesn’t he? And he sure does make a lot of money, haha. I will have to point out, however, that the fact is that his chiseled jawline and dreamy eyes really do not make up for a ridiculous lack of intelligence — seriously, Imma murder that sonbitch and he doesn’t even see it coming. Acts all nice like, “We’re all friends here, please put down the pencil”, as if I couldn’t see through his handsome facade and light blue eyes alight like the sea on a summer’s day. Guy can’t count to ten to save his life without first taking a break to bang my whore of a wife!

Now, I hope you understand my situation. I’ve been in love with her since I was only a child — without the addition of man-. When you love someone so much for such a long time, eventually you start to forget what it’s like without them — then it hits you in the face. Every time I was accused of plagiarism, racism, sexism, xenophobism, disdain for truthfulness, and general vileness of character, she was always there to be disappointed. She waited on me coming home just to tell me how much she pitied me, how sorry she felt that I of all people was forced to be alive when so many good ones died for nothing. She was my rock, my reef in a turbulent sea and I miss her like deserts miss the rain.

Anyway, your money will go towards a good cause, the best cause imaginable. I will win her back if it takes all my remaining sanity. If all else fails, at the least I can buy a revolver and live out my childhood dream of recreating the opening of Shawshank Redemption for real this time.

Thanks in advance, kind people, you are my last remaining hope and hold onto this cruel reality. Cheers!

So I wrote my book and didn't know what to do next so I looked on the web and it said something about getting an agent. I didn't read further because I thought I knew what they meant as there were a lot of memes going around at the time about like "my FBI agent watching me do x" or whatever (should give you some idea of when I finished the book)

Like, I thought people were assigned a government agent that helped you with various stuff, including publishing. I didn't really know if I had one or not, when I looked how to get one there was a lot of tips, and I decided to follow some (turned the love interest much younger for example) and then sent it to the FBI. They quickly got back to me and I got an agent, and for the last few years I've been working with him to remove or change parts of the story that could leak government secrets.

But then one day I stubled upon a "literary agent" trying to change one characters from a CIA agent to something else (don't ask I don't think I'm allowed to go into detail) and my world turned upside down. Is this what people meant??? Please don't tell me I've wasted years editing, or at least that the FBI will help me publish

I'm trying to build a DC alternate universe, but I'm struggling with the creation of a superhero group (that should be The Justice League of this universe) I don't know what Heroes should be in it what Heroes need to be in it?

My first idea was to include all the characters I already made (or just thinking to make) just like:

1. a south italian batman (pastaman)
2. a basic greek wonder woman (she has similar abilities to pastaman and she's weaker than him)
3. a north Italian green lantern (green lasagna)
4. male teenage Hawkgirl
5. very super man called Superman
6. gay Thanos

But I kinda don't like this combination of superheroes.

I seriously need some advice on what the team should be composed by, and maybe some ideas for some new version of already existing DC characters.

(source)

"How do I write a man/woman—"

Just write! Goddamn.

"How do I write a person who has—"

Just write!

"What's your most/least favorite—"

No. Go write.

"What pronouns—"

No.

"What tropes should I avoid—"

Don't avoid. Go write!

"I need advice on how—"

No you don't.

"How many words—"

HOW MANY EVER IT TAKES FOR YOU TO WRITE.

"I don't want it to sound cliche—"

What's a cliche? Something that has already been done before? Your plot probably already has been done before. What are you gonna do? Cry?

"I feel like I'm not talented enough"

Then you're not. What's your point?

"I feel like giving up"

Then give up. Get out of this sub, you loser. If it's that easy for you to give up and not work towards it, then you don't deserve to be a writer in the first place! Out with it, you scam... No one wants you here, if you don't want to be here!

"Should I—"

Write? Yes. Go and write. I want to see sentences on the paper/document. Not on Reddit.

You want to write? Then, why aren't you writing? All your questions can be answered if you're literate enough to type "what book has [ this particular thing im not good at ]" and just read.

Either your shit has already been answered quite a million times and you're just looking for attention, or you're a sham! Or quite possibly both! Stop lying to yourself and WRITE MOTHAFUCKA—

"What plot should I—"

You want ME to write the goddamn novel for you?? FUCK OFF. . . .

"I finished my first draft!"

THERE YOU GO! Now go edit that garbage.

Why are you reading this post?? GO WRITE.

Just sexualize all your characters. That way everyone gets what they want. You appeal to the broadest audience possible while also saving yourself time.

Hello!

If you’re at all familiar with the discourse on BookTok, you’ll know that many readers find it difficult to enjoy a story if the main characters or side characters or villains express atrocious opinions or do anything bad. Since the behavior of fictional characters is a reflection of the writer’s own beliefs, it is understandable that many do not want to support writers who are bad people.

As a Good Person, I write what I know: Good, morally unbesmirched characters who stay away from conflict by avoiding anything that could earn me them criticism. However, after writing two trilogies and five standalones, I am crestfallen by dismal sales numbers. I can’t even count on my mom to buy my new releases.

To make matters worse, some internet meanies have started leaving unfair negative reviews on my books like “This is bland and lacks tension” or “I have never been more bored in my life.”

I am confused. I thought I was writing what people want to read??

Going forward, What should I do to ensure my next book has better sales?

Can anyone point me to a good source (or their own experience?) that describes, step by step and play by play, what it's like and everything that happens when a woman takes a fat dump in a port-o-potty?

A cisgender woman in my book has a turtle head popping out and is faced with choice of clenching it back in, or braving a filthy construction site port-o-potty on the side of the road.

But as a real manly man who wipes it with his hand, who had been led to believe that cisgender women do not poop until recently when i5 found out they do (dont ask), I need to know in incredible detail (medical and technical), exactly how a woman poos.

LADIES, PLEASE DESCRIBE YOUR BOWEL MOVEMENTS BELOW!

Hi! I'm new to writing, and I'm considering using punctuation marks for my writing, but I'm so unsure of myself and in need of validation from redditors I've never met that I need to be explicitly told what I'm allowed to do. Can I pwetty pwease use punctuation marks?

I'm a Werewolf, and I'm looking for graphic novels I can read to pass the time while waiting for the next full moon. All I can find are poorly done ones or weird, human romance stories. Looking for something like alternative universe Archie and Jughead. I've read all the Dennis the Menace comics, so something else please 🤪

Tired of book covers created by actual humans? Everyone knows robots are our future, so why not spruce up your book cover with a completely original AI-generated design?

To learn how to create stunning AI-generated book covers that will grab attention and boost sales by 1000% ➡️ https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ?si=6aqs38yCTRrFsvxG

In every other line my MC says some variation of "fuck" or "shit" or "fuck"

Every time I delete the words or replace them with something else, he becomes a boring NPC

What do I do?

To preface, English is not my first, nor second, language. It is my third, and as such I pray forgiveness for any errors in my writing.

So, to move on to the matter at hand: a good friend of my dad's came over and started telling a romantic story. Once it was done, with tearstreaks staining both cheeks, I hurried to my room and begun penning my first draft.

Please let me know if it's any good.

I was thinking about presenting it to next week's show and tell for my fifth grade classroom:

Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.

She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita.

Did she have a precursor? She did, indeed she did. In point of fact, there might have been no Lolita at all had I not loved, one summer, a certain initial girl-child. In a princedom by the sea. Oh when? About as many years before Lolita was born as my age was that summer. You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, exhibit number one is what the seraphs, the misinformed, simple, noble-winged seraphs, envied. Look at this tangle of thorns.

I mean, I absolutely did, but it hurts my book sales when people bring it up.

Like a 6 to 8 hour day. I only write for about 5 minutes a day and then I can't anymore. I know it's the Big Writing, you know, like Writer's Guild of America and other mega corporations like them that control our lives, they don't allow me a normal working man's 8 hour day like I'm supposed to have in this great country.

I have written them letters asking for a full day, but nothing. Never an answer. One day I wrote for 7 minutes and thought at last they recognized me, but I think it's just because someone called in sick. How many minutes do you guys all get?

Hey yall, I have a confession to make.

I lost it all in bitcoin and now I’m trying to make it as a struggling writer and I managed to buy all of my vowels but now I learned that they make you buy articles too?! Oy vey, and I JUST got my Brazilian butt lift which in hindsight I didn’t really need but here in Peru it is kind of necessary if you don’t have the local dialect down.

Anywho, now I need 3,000$ for the three articles (1,000 each of course) and I was able to find some Ebonics articles for cheap- deez, dose, dem, etc so I am writing about a gang in New Orleans using Ebonics prose who gives up being “hard” to be Mormon stylized charity entertainers like Mr beast- which was more lucrative. Oh I am a Mormon.

But the problem is I was going to have them go on an excruciatingly detailed 5 chapter Mecca journey to Salt Lake City but that means they have to encounter white people! And they are going to all sound REAL strange without their articles. Personally, I’m just using the google type subscription to use articles and vowels on the internet but I haven’t bought any publishing word rights yet besides vowels. HALP!

I find narrative, thematic, and tonal consistency to be hard to maintain, therefore they must be unimportant. We can further surmise that anyone who cares about those things must be a miserable virgin.

Triggered, libs?

██ ███ ████ █ ████ ████ ████ ██████ a ███ ██████ ████  ████ ███ ████████ ██ █████ ████ ███ ██ boob ████████ ██ ███ █████ ██ ███ ██████ ████ ███ ███ ██████████  ████ ███ ███ █████████ ██████ ████ ██ ██ ██ ███ ███ ████ ████ ████ ████ ████ ███ ██████████ ████ ██ ███████  the ███ ██████ ██████ ██ ████ ████ ██ ███████  ███ ███ ████████ ███ ███████████ ███ █████████  █ ████ ███ ████ ████ ████ ███ ███ ████ █ boobs ██ █████ ██ ███████ ██ ████████

Sorry about the format, I don't want anyone ripping me off, I think I've got a best seller here. Any thoughts appreciated.

Posting my newest acrostic work, a highly emotional account of a colonoscopy. Criticism will not be accepted, only praise.

C- Colon

O- Open wide

L - Loosen up

O- Oh boy I hope it's not cancer

N- Night night time, under anesthetics

O- This O represents the shape of the anus

S- Snaking through passageways with that

C- Camera thingy

O- Oh no, is that cancer?

P- Poop, it was just poop

Y- Yay, no cancer.

I'm trying to figure out if this is a good idea to do in a story. Unfortunately, since I'm terrified of book thief cartels stealing my vital juices, I can't give you any more information or context. Just give me the answer: should this thing happen?