So im 15 and a few months ago I started meditation and talking with my alters to open communication after coming to a conclusion of emily being a possible alter (She was seen as an "imaginary friend" in childhood).

After some time I started going through this community and its been genuinely helpful i had some alters front before and make post.

However now I worry I might be faking (unintentionally) I mean i believe i have alters but I never heard anyone's voice they don't talk at all, sometimes I forget their even around, I usally can just go around daily and they don't affect anything other than occasional thoughts and feelings.

I guess its from watching a tiktok where a women had said that its impossible to have alters or anything if they don't make you suffer each and everyday otherwise your basically faking.

They don't really make me suffer their pretty helpful when their not trying to hurt each other over trauma based disagreements.

I guess another thing that brought me to the possibility of having alters possibly accidently creating tulpas is that im a fairly lonely and kinda deppresed so sometimes I tend to use daydreaming as an escape while daydreaming i laugh about jokes in my own mind and almost talk like its me having a funny conversation with a friend.

I have no clue what to call what I am or what we are and while it doesn't really matter, I can't stop overthinking it. I "became" plural about two months ago and we're an endogenic system for sure. Currently just me and one headmate and vehemently denying that another is forming. I thought tulpa fit well, but after reading about it, I'm not quite sure because I didn't "force" her into existence (we both hate this term), she just appeared one day and made me her home. Technically she's a fictive as in she (and the other one I'm ignoring) are OCs I made, but I also don't like that term. A plural friend of ours tried to explain soulbonds to us but it just didn't make sense, so I'm wondering if anyone has any input or insights to this?

I have posted a bit on here because self discovery, and even if I'm not a system I enjoy learning about different things and this is something I don't know a lot about so might as well as the people who are living the experience. I am also a bit confused on the language and how systems work. So I guess what I'm asking for is a dummy guide. (If I over step boundaries then tell me please) If you guys have some good resources then please link them, I also have a friend who is plural so I might direct them to this subreddit/send them resources if they want them. (If you guys also want an about me kinda thing then I can post one, I also want to be a bit more active in this subreddit, I like the people in here)

Mostly a vent, but some feedback would be appreciated.

I've only known about our system for about a year and a half now, though I had a feeling something was "off" before then. I sometimes blackout and experience mild amnesia and/or dissociative episodes and I feel a lot different during and after. My headspace/innerworld seemed to have created "rules" when I first started thinking I had a system, and as I learn more about plurality, more and more headmates introduce themselves.

But it feels... fake. Like, the first few alters' identities fit in those "rules" and now that I know a little more about other systems and what others experience, different headmates introduce themselves much more frequently, sometimes even several at once.

The only diagnosis I have that could be to blame for the system is borderline personality disorder ー I don't have DID, OSDD, or any other dissociative disorders or identity disorders ー and PTSD. Autism or ADHD aren't diagnosed but other neurodivergents, my doctor, and my psychiatrist agree that I likely have one or both as I show a number of symptoms of both and ADHD runs in my mom's side of the family.

Anyway, I'm not really sure how to explain stuff, but it feels fake. Maybe that's normal/common? Also, headmates never fully front. They'll either co-front, speak, or I stay mostly conscious. We've never experienced an actual switch.

We have 11 headmates that I know of right now (apart from me) including a factive, two fictives, and at least two "oc's" that more or less turned into/turned out to be headmates. I feel like I accidentally create headmates by thinking about it and it makes me feel stupid and that I'm faking.

Collectively we're feeling kinda invalid as a system. Is this experience common? Am I faking? I'm pretty sure I asked something along these lines before, sorry about that, but the feeling sometimes gets stronger plus I had to vent a little.

-izu, he/they (host) & rowan, they/them (factive and protector)

Title says it all, not trying to be rude - I'm just confused

Unless we’re directly triggered by a situation or such (Which is mostly only our traumagenic cards), we got through several switches in a small amount of time before the brain finally settles on one — and we just kind of let it happen. It causes a headache, but it’s like we want to be at front, but it’s too hard to stay in control — so it turns over to someone else, and it repeats until someone actually can stay in control. The only time it’s really been one and done on the switching is when a situation is happening. So it’s mostly only protectors that don’t have this issue. Are we alone on this?

Edit: It doesn’t bother us if we are — just a weird detail

edit again: Glacier wrote that. I find it odd, not concerning — but I’m glad that we’re not alone, if that makes sense. (From Fern)

A old gatekeeper of mine, 🍁 (emoji to keep them hidden) has came out of being dormat and honestly, I miss it. Everything was great at first, our other gatekeeper (🐍) was getting along with them and everything.

Then 🍁 fronted alone, they decided to pull some "pranks" including deleting our simply plural progress as well as almost causing harm by being terrible to our partner.

What can I do?

Hello! I'm from a median system of 4, its really confusing and frustrating for us to not be able to tell each other apart or be fully aware of each other's presence all the time, so we would like to know how they can become full alters, specially for the safety of Lily, our youngest one, our brains aren't fully separate and we don't notice who is in control like, never, we always think "I'm the one in control" so it does bring confusion when doing something we don't like and that stuff, so if anyone has any advice on that we would really appreciate if you tell us.

Saw someone else post their intros and thought it might be fun! We're also sorta new to r/plural (I think M posted once) and hoping to be more active! I'll introduce our most active people.

☆ Collectively, we are the Copacetic Daydreamz Collective or CDC, a system of 11ish. We are asexual, polyamorous, panromantic, and objectum-romantic, and we use he/mechie pronouns collectively. We're also POSIC. We have two object partners, one of which is our own "imaginary" world. We are 23, physically. We also use colors to organize our system! Everyone has an assigned color based on personality traits/interests/etc.

☆ Anyways, I'm the host, Bonnie or Michael (Either name is good!). I'm around 20 years old. I use he/mechie/void/quilt/vale/fae pronouns. I like keeping track of system information, learning about psychology things, and doing art projects! My assigned color is red!

☆ Kitty is our protector. He doesn't have an age exactly but is an adult. He frequently talks in 3rd person. He uses he/toy/plush pronouns and is a catboy. His color is orange.

☆ M is a system little, 1 to 5 years typically. M likes dinosaurs, coloring, and being a helper to the system when he can! He also uses he/toy/plush pronouns, but his color is green. He's also the tallest in our system.

☆ RJ / Hal is our in-person person. She ages with the body (23), uses she/they pronouns, and enjoys movies and TV. Her color is light blue.

☆ Michael / Sevryn is the God of our "imaginary" world. He doesn't have an age other than "a young god." He uses he/it/void pronouns and is a persecutor. His color is dark blue.

☆ Fawn / Cozzette is our self-care person. She's around 15 years old, uses she/they/fae/plush/doll pronouns, and enjoys dolls, cleaning, and mindfullness things. Her color is light pink.

☆ Keeper / Mycroft is a caregiver and gatekeeper. He was named Keeper long before we knew about him being a gatekeeper, but it really fits. He's about 30, uses he/they/quilt pronouns, and likes warm sweaters and hot tea. His color is brown.

☆ Elsewhere is our "imaginary" world. He is as old as the ("real") world itself. He uses he/it/void pronouns. His assigned color is black. Void also thrives on being confusing and vague, even to us.

Anyways, that's not everyone, but that's our most frequent fronters! Thank you for reading! 😸

Hi! Were the chaos system and our system is still slightly new (as in the sense I, the host, just started realizing it-). Anyways, just last night everyone was talking like they always do and this is gonna sound weird but 2 of our alters started… flirting with each other?! And then our co-host said “oh yeah aren’t they dating?” And I was kinda surprised by this. I searched it up but the only results it gave me were relationships with the host which is what we don’t have here— can someone please explain/elaborate??

ive been the main decision maker in my body for my entire relationship with my girlfriend.

she knows were plural but it hasnt really come up. last monday when she was reminiscing my headmate said something like "sorry i dont remember any of that, im X not Y" and i guess thats peaked her interest and they started talking about it.

they have their own relationship now. i used to be almost full time with memory share in my offtime and now ive just lost an entire week with almost no memory.

we used to spend 4+ days a week together. i miss my girlfriend. im kinda having a crisis. i dont want to loose time. i dont want things to change.

tldr - new person is an a$$hole to someone else, and we could use tips because New Guy is likely acting on prejudice

Recently, we had a new guy come along. I (host) was not keen on New Guy staying, however many of the headmates like him, so he's been allowed to stay. Also, they're all Marvel fictives from different universes.

So some background. The person that New Guy is being a jerk to is a mutant (from an unknown X-Men universe). We'll call him V. He just came along in January and settled in fairly well. He's quiet and self-sustaining like a lot of my headmates, doesn't really need me around. V lives in a mansion with three other guys: an Inhuman, another mutant, and a cyborg. New Guy is also living in this house.

New Guy is not a jerk to anyone but V.

Last night when I was checking on everyone, I learned that New Guy had kicked V out of the house. I don't know the full details of what happened but that was enough for me. I found V outside on the front steps. I had another headmate (Idk what title I'd give him, but he helps a lot when we have issues between headmates and he's quite important to me) help V and deal with New Guy.

I'm hoping that this solves but the issue, but in the case that it doesn't, what else can I do?? The current headmates obviously come first before New Guy, but I also like New Guy as do other headmates, and aside from this he's been pretty stable and okay to have around. Since New Guy has been cooperative, I believe that he can be redeemed and this behavior can be overcome.

​

We are a bit confused on how systems work so we just gonna ask some questions

1. If one member is fronting are the rest of the members able to see what the fronter is seeing

2. How do you assess the inner world like how do u go into it

3. If your not the one fronting where do u go like so u just loose consciousness

4. If the member who is fronting hurts the body are you all able to feel it

Please answer ty for your help

How many hosts of a system have a very detailed photographic memory? That is when it’s not fuzzy from co-existing or blank from not fronting

hi! host writing here, been stalking this sub for a while now, finally worked up the courage to really join! from what I've seen, r/plural is super inclusive to other identities we have, so I'll cut to the point of introducing all of us!

Pyrite (host, typing this post :) that rhymed omg!), it/any neos, 15 (🎇)

Soph (caretaker), she/plush, 16 (💕)

Eum, just pronounced as "um" (Trauma holder), it/its, 7 (💤)

Blix (no real role hes just kinda there???), he/they, 15 (🌵)

Vixa (also just there), she/they also 15 (🎨)

Sinox (kaiju paradise fictive), it/fox, ageless (💜💚)

Ares (persecutor), any pronouns, 21 (💿)

Party (also goes by Zee, idk and idc if there's a technical term but xyr role is just kinda to cheer people up!), all neos and only neos, dunno age (🎈)

Aubrey (omori fictive), she/her, 12 (🎀)

E (little), she/they/one, 9 (🎁)

Bug (protector), it/any neos, ageless (🩹)

Mosx (gatekeeper), any emoji pronouns but mainly 🌱/🌱self, 24 (🌷)

Hilite (protector), he/she, dunno age (🌈)

Entr0py (no real role), he/him, ageless (🎲)

Orynge (that's not her actual name but we don't know her real name, so we call her orynge. roleless), she/they, 16 (🍊)

thanks for (hopefully) welcoming us!

• 🎇

So I have now started losing random chunks of time that isn't normal for me, so I have decided to try and journal more to keep track of stuff but I suck at journaling, does anyone have any tips? Also does any in case if I'm a system or anyway to know for sure without the extreme symptoms

This is going to be a long post. Apologies.

I made a post awhile back asking for some help or advice on what’s happening. I tried what a commenter suggested but it didn’t work. Kind of?

I ended up having a terrible mental breakdown and vented to an online friend (one who thinks I’m a system) but then everything simply went blank. Apparently, Lily (a childhood friend of mine) had taken over, spoke to said friend, said goodnight and I woke up hazy in the morning or afternoon. I can’t remember.

However, on one hand, I feel like I’m not plural because everyone has childhood friends, no one has noticed or pointed out odd behaviours and I don’t remember having significant trauma. I know you don’t need trauma to be a system but I feel like I need it in order to be valid. My brain is weird with logic. But on the other hand, there’s so many symptoms such as blank spots, amnesia, confusion as to where I am, a lot of drowsiness and terrible headaches. Not only that but I could talk about something personal or talk in general and have a massive mind sweep of what was said.

I try to brush this off but it’s so hard when I constantly “zone out” without a choice and it can go on for however long it wants to. It probably doesn’t help that an irl friend (one who’s a system) kept cracking jokes about me being “more than one person” and that I go by “multiple names”.

I chuckled but I was so confused. Maybe I was out of it since we did have a personal conversation prior but even now, I’m still confused. Even looking at old conversations, it feels drastically fake. It feels like I’ve made them up, especially since I have no recollection of them. The most I’ve ever had surrounding dissociation with a professional is about a triggering incident that “I” did with no remembrance as to why.

I would try and seek out a professional but I’ve been rejected for being “too complex” or I’m rejected for not having a specific answer as to why I want therapy. However, I don’t even remember what was said during those one to ones because my mind blanks them out or I’m usually “zoned out”. I know I can go private but I can’t afford it.

I feel like I’m playing mind games with myself and it’s hard to try and find a decent answer without jumping to conclusions. Just reading old messages about “being a system” makes me cringe or uncomfortable. Idk why. Maybe it’s because I don’t remember typing out those words? I don’t know.

I know none of you could diagnose me or say a verdict but I would like some small guidance or personal input / perspective if possible. I understand if not but thanks for reading if you made it this far

title, just looking for pics or typed stuff, i dont care. thanks

hello!! im host of a sys recent uncovered. I've been trying to evolve my communication with others for a while and it really seems to be working, the problem is that I don't know when it's a headmate or just my mind. I hear perfect voices in my head sometimes, but mostly they just manifest as thoughts... Sometimes they are things that I would perhaps think about with my voice or the voices of people I know, sometimes they are completely independent. But in all these situations they have something in common: I can't control them or predict when they appear or not, as if it were really someone else thinking for me.

Its funny as hell who the hell is using alpha and beta language unironically he also mentioned watching Andrew tate. He literally sounds like how my mom used to be 🤣😭

Honestly — The only people I want to know are my gf and my best friend — But that doesn’t take away the fact that I know a lot about plurality… My friend is plural and has started talking about it more around me recently, and they’re suspicious on why I know so much.. It’s kind of scary and weird because they’ll be telling me about it and I want to connect with them, but at the same time.. noooo;-;

Hello there! I have a question, but before just to clarify, I am not diagnosed with any dissociative disorder and have no known alters, there is this thing happening to me, where from time to time it feels like I am a completely different person, kinda like constantly changing identities, but it happens randomly, it's almost as if it was multiple people controlling my body at the same time but just thinking it's one person, I just wanna know if this has anything to do with plurality or if it happens to others too, someone told me that things might be like this when becoming aware of being a system for the first time.

so, we've been seeing the crisis team every week. i've brought up my headmate as an "imaginary friend". i've tried hinting that he takes over the body & mentioned how he likes coffee and i prefer tea. i don't want to explicitly say test us for DID rn rn rn but like... how do i implicitly ask for that??

the person we saw today called my headmate my "compassionate mind", since i mentioned how he comforts me and stuff. we've been thinking of trying jujitsu or some fighting thing, because he really really wants us to learn self-defense, so maybe i could say that he wanted to do it so... i did? i don't knoww

edit: they also know that my memory is beyond terriblee

So, I'm a P-DID system and I want to know if anyone else has similar issues to myself with my system. Now, normally I hear alters internally. This has mostly been the fact for me. Im starting to realize sometimes, mostly when I originally think im fronting alone I'll hear voices externally. An example was once I heard my body name being called, me being in a public place my head turned only to realize no one was talking.

I asked and no one had said anything. Now, I'm realizing more times this has started to happen. Probably three I've known?? They sound different also, one was more masculine sounding which is weird because I'm bodily female, something my voice reflects also.

I haven't fully discovered my system, only truly realizing / coming to terms with it only a few months ago. I'm still really confused with everything and help would be so appreciated.

Is this a symptom of the disorder or something more?

I dissociated myself to the point of feeling like im not in my body and im not controlling it at all like theres been times where i have zoned out for no reason and seen myself like im someone else looking at me like i see myself moving and talking and i try to get in control but i cant until someone snaps me out of it i dont know that happens but every time that happens i dont remember anything of it just what i seen bits and pieces and how i felt is this normal for someone who has not been dionsted with DID or is questioning if they have but has been dionsted with PTSD?

I don't want to get into the whole thing, but some of has have started doing things that we disapprove of and I've tried talking to them, but they just don't want to listen. I'm getting frustrated and have begun kinda snapping at them, which I don't want to do. Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this situation? We have reasons for disapproving, but they don't want to listen to them. How can I explain why we disapprove without pushing them away or having them ignore me? And how can we make a compromise when it's something serious that the rest of us do *not* want happening?

So this is like 3 questions and experiences in 1 that we'd like some feedback on and possibly some answers. We've been a long time lurker here and this is our first time posting so please bear with us. So we have a system of almost 1,000 alters, several headspaces, several sub and side systems, and lots of fragments too. We've realized we are not median, yet we are not also very distinct in the front. If any of us look into headspace when fronting, we can get a sense that all the alters are doing their own thing, have their own interests, all work differently. Yet in the front, we all seem to almost be the same. There are some differences in the way we work, process things, our opinions, likes, and dislikes, some have it easier doing certain things than others, but honestly most of our switches are very covert because of how similar most of us are in the front. We don't sense some sort of toxic mask or anything like that, so if anyone has any ideas, it'd be great to hear them. This leads us into alter development. Because of the above situation, we have a hard time figuring out if we consider ourselves developed sometimes. Do you have to be just as distinct in the front as you are in headspace to be developed? We logically don't think so, but hey, validation and trusting yourself can be hard. It also seems like we can do our roles and jobs better in headspace verses when we front. We switch a lot and we like to switch. That switchy feeling is almost like a reset for our brain as long as it's not a bunch of rapid switches back to back. So we also find it odd that we switch so much, and like it most of the time, with all of the above in mind. We don't know. We aren't looking for specific answers, just thoughts, insight, whatever comes up.

So still learning how to navigate system stuff n we've come across something odd lately. One of our alters just came out of a 4 or so year dormancy and is literally obsessed with meat. Not a quirky like "oh I'm obsessed hehe" like literally staring at a whole ham wanting to devour it not caring about the consequences.

He'll sometimes look at roadkill n want a bite What's even weirder is the rest of us don't really care for meat, like a good chunk of us are vegetarian. Has anyone else had something like this? Or any idea what it could mean?? We're very confused and a little concerned

we have discovered plurality a year ago and things have been going quite well. but recently we became aware that had a headmate was hurting the body to get there way. and with a new headmate arriving after being dormant for 12 years and us realising there are a dozen pieces of us missing (dormant) from decades ago. and that they may be coming back over the next few years maybe if we get therapy? plurality has gone from the honeymoon stage of ignorance, to the lets get real stage. when did plurality become very real for you? what events or situations revealed that there were huge issues amongst your system?

• micheala.