Let's look back at some memorable moments and interesting insights from last year.

Your top 9 posts:

• "Happy Cakeday, r/maletime! Today you're 7" by u/AutoModerator
• "US People with Uteruses, Period Tracking Apps May Be Used Against You By the Police" by u/RyuichiSakuma13
• "Transphobia Healing Project! Guided online writing exercises from UMass Boston, $20 compensation (transgender, nonbinary, gender diverse folks welcome!)" by u/Transphobia_Healing
• "New Subreddit for FTMs Over 50" by u/RyuichiSakuma13
• "Hookups post-transition" by u/GrouchoMarxist40
• "I'm a therapist in training working on my master's thesis study to improve how therapists are trained to work with LGBTQ+ clients, anyone want to take my study? (10-15 minutes) (includes 3 CASH drawings!!) (IRB approved) (18+)" by u/LGBTQCLIENTSTUDY
• "Transgender Surgery Survey"
• "new sub r/QueerPreppers"
• "New sub to replace the now defunct r/ftmbeards.....r/FTM_Beards"

Hi,

I am a trans woman living in the UK and I am currently doing a course at my local college ahead of returning to university next year to train as a nurse. I'm using a throwaway account for this to keep it separate from my main account.

As part of this I have to carry out a research project and my chosen subject is gender affirming surgeries for trans people. It would be really helpful if you could carry out this anonymous survey about your experiences of having had gender affirming surgery (If you haven’t had gender affirming surgery please don’t answer the survey, you’ll also find it difficult to complete as it’s geared towards those who have)

If there any of the open questions you are not comfortable answering, please put N/A in the relevant field. Similarly, if you have any questions feel free to DM me.

The survey will be open until 5/7/2022 (5/6/2022 apologies for the typo!) and can be found here it's only one page and shouldn't take too long to complete.

Many thanks 😊

Apologies for cross-posting. Please see bottom of post for added links that may help to demonstrate this project's credibility!

​

TL;DR: Participate in an online guided writing study to advance free and evidence-based therapeutic tools for trans communities & earn $20 for yourself or a trans/nb NGO.

​

Hi there! My name is Lindsey White (they/them) and I am a nonbinary therapist, long time reddit lurker, and 6th year PhD student in Counseling Psychology at UMass Boston. With my colleague Dr. Heidi Levitt we have developed the Transphobia Healing Project! Our team targets translating evidence-based therapy tactics into at-home exercises in order to reach low-resourced communities, or folks who don’t readily have access to affirming therapists.

​

We are seeking participants to engage in three 15-minute-long online expressive writing exercises that contain prompts to help guide them as they reflect on a distressing experience related to their gender. Pre and post surveys are used to measure changes in mental health, and a follow-up survey to see if changes sustain after a month.

​

Financial Compensation: We are committed to providing direct financial support to trans/nb communities through our research. Participants have 2 payment options: 1) Choose an org that serves trans communities and WE will make a $20 to that org on your behalf (see list of orgs below), or 2) Receive a $20 Amazon gift card via email.

​

Here's a snapshot of how the THP will work:

1. 2-minute screening call – verify you meet study criteria & we can answer any of your questions (Criteria: over 18, live in US, gender identity, not currently in crisis)
2. Pre-study survey
3. Writing exercise 1
4. Writing exercise 2
5. Writing exercise 3 + post-study survey
6. 1-month follow-up survey + $20 pay-out in your preferred method

​

*Click the link here to get started on the project or to learn more about THP*

https://umassboston.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0v0DbXaVyhSRQjk

​

Organizations on our Donation List:

• Trans Lifeline
• Black Trans Femmes in the Arts
• Trans Women of Color Collective
• Transgender Law Center – Black LGBTQIA+ Migrant Project (BLMP)
• Transgender Legal, Defense & Education Fund
• Queer Detainee Empowerment Project

​

Research Team

• Project Manager: Lindsey White, EdM, MA (they/them) (me!)
• Principal Investigator: Heidi Levitt, PhD (UMB faculty page; Google Scholar profile)
• Research team's webpage - learn more about our team, and view a bibliography of completed projects and recent publications
• UMass Boston IRB: irb@umb.edu (Approval Number: 2013091)
• Project Email: UMBStudySchedule@gmail.com

​

__________________________________________________________________________________________

A note to our trans & nonbinary community members:

In my experience working with LGBTQIA+ folks in research, I know that many of our community members are understandably on guard against malicious people who harm us and our loved ones This is especially strong in our trans, nonbinary, and gender diverse communities (and, of course, in online spaces). To folks who feel concerned about a post like this, I wanted to say thank you for looking out and wanting to protect our communities. To help put folks at ease, I wanted to provide a few more links that may help to demonstrate a credible online professional presence, and a history of engagement in research in service of LGBTQIA+ communities.

1. This is a study that Dr. Levitt, myself and colleagues have published on challenges some LGBTQIA+ folks have encountered while trying to become parents. It was cited in an amicus brief submitted to the U.S. Supreme Court to defend foster care non-discrimination.
2. This is THP's "sister study" from our research team, which was developed for people with minority sexual identities.
3. You can see some of our faces in our webpage bios.
4. Finally, if you are more comfortable reaching out to an official "umb.edu" email address, you are welcome to email myself (Lindsey.White001@umb.edu), Dr. Levitt (Heidi.Levit@umb.edu), or the UMass Boston IRB (irb@umb.edu) directly with any questions or concerns.

Confidentiality, Data, & Ethics: The questionnaires you complete and the writing exercises you complete are the data that will be collected for analysis in this study. This data will help us to learn how these exercises function and how helpful they are for experiences of transphobia. Any confidential information you share will be kept confidential within the research team. That is, the information gathered for this project will not be published, shared, or presented in a way that would allow anyone else to identify you. The data collected in this study will be kept in confidence within the limits allowed by law. Psychologists have an obligation to report active threats of harming oneself or others (so please do not participate if you are actively in crisis, but instead we encourage you to call Trans Lifeline 877-565-8860) . No identifying information (e.g., names, addresses) will be recorded on your writing exercises or surveys and if you include identifying information in your writing exercises it will be deleted from our records. Your email address will be known only by the lead investigator of this project and graduate students trained in research ethics and confidentiality who are helping to schedule screening and send email reminders. All identifying records of your identification (e.g., email address) will be destroyed within one year of your completing your participation in this project.

TL,DR: Looking for any advice related to navigating hookups post-transition.

I'm 30 years old in an open relationship with my partner of 6 years. Due to a number of circumstances, I haven't been able to navigate the hookup scene too much in recent years. I was always in school, whether it be grad school or college, and always felt like the environment was better for coming out before hookups. Now that things with COVID have slightly settled, I'd like to get back out there but am unsure how and when to be upfront about being trans* in a hookup context. What have your experiences been with this. Any help is greatly appreciated.

Come check it out if you've got an interest in DIY projects, prepping for emergencies, off grid living, ettc

r/QueerPreppers

Hi everyone. My name is Sam, and I'm a graduate student at CSU, Chico in the Marriage and Family Therapy program. I'm specializing in LGBTQ+ Affirming Counseling and conducting a study to improve the training standards of therapists to better work with LGBTQ people!

Study Link: https://csuchico.sjc1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_2b4ImoJdYwunYa2

To participate, you must be LGBTQ+ and over age 18. No other requirements!

IRB Approval Proof: https://imgur.com/a/6zlwEGk

This study is 100% confidential, and 100% anonymous******

If you can, please complete the study fully, it is so helpful for me versus a study 50% completed! All that matters is that you respond with your truthful perspective as best you can. :)

It should take about 10-15 minutes. Each participant will be asked to respond to 7 vignettes. Please feel free to ask me anything in the comments regarding the study or queer-affirming counseling! Thank you all so much, and to the mods for allowing me to post this.

******It includes three cash drawings to those who complete it and choose to participate. If you choose to participate, you must enter an email. If this email contains identifying features about you, the study will not remain entirely anonymous. All emails will remain confidential and will be destroyed after completion of the study.

P.S. I'll be honest, I have substantially less representation from trans men than just about any other population of the LGBTQ+ community. :/

If I do not have an adequate representation of your voices, it feels like a disservice to what I'm hoping to do! Truthfully, I think trans folks often experience the worst discrimination from mental healthcare providers when compared to other queer identities, and I think trans men are often forgotten when discussing trans-affirming care.

I'm also happy to help in return in any way I can - please don't hesitate to reach out with questions, thoughts, or feedback!

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EDIT: 2/10/22 - Closed the data collection. Thank you all so much.

Let's look back at some memorable moments and interesting insights from last year.

Your top 10 posts:

• "There’s no spaces for post op bottom surgery trans guys to be hot, without having to educate" by u/carterboiii
• "Officially post transition and not sure how how to feel about it" by u/carterboiii
• "A Decade out from Phalloplasty" by u/element113
• "Hard to find people I can relate to now" by u/decategorized
• "Netflix’s sex education" by u/flyingvitaminplanes
• "2 Years post Phallo, now thinking of Testicular Implants" by u/MaineMan1755
• "First time seeing family in years -- struggling with anticipated responses to my post-transition body" by u/fabfemj
• "Hanging out with dudes" by u/carterboiii
• "Subreddit for Stealth Trans Men" by u/kenyam123
• "Have you ever been to a nude beach? Any thoughts welcome but curious about non-phallo guys." by u/cocoacowstout

Has anyone seen the most recent season of Netflix’s series Sex Education? I know it’s not the same as being trans but watching Maeve become intimate with Isaac (the guy in the wheelchair) legit brought me to tears. As someone who has gone through phallo and has good sensation but not sensation everywhere, I thought the way they approached that scene just hit a chord with how I wish my hookups would go. Sometimes I end up pretending like I have more sensation than I do because it’s easier than having that conversation, but seeing Maeve be sensitive to his needs and still accepting really got to me. Anyone else?

tl;dr I'm balding and I'm scared and I want options that aren't shaving my head.

I have really been struggling with even the idea of making this kind of post because I find this to be such a deeply personally embarrassing thing, but I just don't know where to turn.

For some context, I've been on testosterone for the past 6 years. Might be central back that society now genders me correctly, there's a lot of things I'm really unhappy with about being on t. Essentially, every single one of my worst fears came true. I am objectively less attractive than I was as a woman. I have gained weight that has been difficult for me to lose in exactly the same fat patterns as my father. I have become extremely hairy just about everywhere, though this is something I have learned to embrace as part of my masculine self-image. But the thing that has hurt me the most is my hair loss.

I first noticed that I was balding about 3 years into taking testosterone. At the time, I assumed that it was just my changing hairline and was reassured by doctors and peers that this was a normal part of the changes. A year after that, when I noticed that my scalp was thinning severely, so I started both finasteride and minoxidil, which I've been taking ever since to very little improving at all. My scalp has continued thinning, and honestly it makes me want to cry every time I look in the mirror.

I used to have really thick and really lush hair. In fact, I have been growing my hair out for almost 5 years now, and the longest strands touch my middle back. I am in the middle of a 10-year promise not cut or dye it. Having long hair has always been very important to me and extremely integral to my confidence and self-image. Now, facing this incredibly humiliating loss, I don't know what to do.

Before anyone suggests embracing baldness, that is in fact my worst fear. Discussions of shaving send me into panic attack spirals that have at times resulted in self harming behavior. I don't trust hairdressers and wouldn't even begin to know how to find one that might be able to help me somehow, because all previous times I have gone to hairdressers have ended in unflattering choices and tears.

I guess I'm just asking for literally any advice as to what I can do. I'm comfortable with the idea of wearing wigs, as that's actually something I used to do somewhat regularly, but I don't really know too much about long-term wig wearing and maintenance. Ideally, I would want to do something that is like a multi-month sew in? I've seen such things, but don't know where to start. I'm terrified of having to face my shaved scalp every morning and evening, if that's part of it, and I'm so scared of cutting off what hair I have now.

Anything. Any advice or direction. Please.

I've only had top surgery but I consider myself post-transition. I've been that way for about 10 years now. Life's been fine. Nobody but family and medical providers know I'm not cis.

The past year or two I have just been constantly late with or skipping my shots. I am supposed to take them once a week. I don't remember why I started doing this or even if I had a reason. It had never been a problem before, I always gave myself my own shots and it just was.

I also have clinical/major depression. I don't take meds for it but I'm active in therapy. The past 2 years have been real bad on my mental health. As I am sure it has been for everyone. I'm sure skipping on T isn't helping my moods.

I guess my question is, has anyone else been through a phase like this? What did you do to pull yourself out of it? I will be regular for a while and then I will skip 2 - 3 weeks again. It doesn't seem to be getting any better. I'm feeling like maybe going off T completely. Which logically I know is a really stupid decision.

I got paired up with a group of guys for work. This is the first time I’ve been around a group of exclusively men since pre bottom surgery. I feel a lot more comfortable, but it’s also weird to think about how they have no idea I’m trans.

I feel like I fit in with them, and I catch myself realizing they just see me as another dude-which is not something I have experienced for a long time. Kind of a weird feeling.

What are your experiences hanging with “the bros” since being finished with your transition? How do you feel around a group of only men?

Does anyone here use an stp at the urinal post meta with UL?

Part of aging is cognitive decline and with that poor judgment. I have been on hormones nearly a decade and I am 30. My mother and her siblings are all late 60s and are starting to be really careless with details about my past with the generation below me (my nieces and nephews). I dont want to go into details but this lead to a very big fight and I am cutting everyone off besides my mother, who did not participate in the fight.

I had a really hard time getting them to accept me but they did my pronouns and names correctly for years so what the hell is going on now? We are democrats for context, so this isn't driven by right wing media. Did they just not ever really accept me at all and aging is letting the mask slip? I am so so offended I was not given an apology, and that they did not acknowledge the pain I felt during thst exchange with my younger family, who have only known me as the real me, and not from before I transitioned.

A friend and I recently developed a private discord server exclusively for post-transition transsexual persons (meaning post-op or in the process of surgery). We are interested in building a community of likeminded people to have a place to discuss navigating life post-transition, outside of spaces that tend to lean more into navigating surgery and the active process of going through surgery. This is a space meant for people to discuss issues in a private space related to navigating life as a post-transition transsexual person, which tend to be unique and not touched on as frequently in transsexual spaces.

We are accepting both transsexual men and women to join, both mods (including myself) are post-op transsexual men. We ask that you verify yourself as a post-op person, or someone in the process of obtaining SRS/GRS. This is a space meant specifically for post-op persons.

https://discord.gg/BqRf2dFM

Whenever post op phallo or meta folks post in ftm porn related subs, they’re often met with “what procedure is this” “have you done all stages” “who was your surgeon” etc rather than the usual comments you see on porn subs. It sucks that our genitals are so medicalized we can’t even really post nudes without having to explain how our dicks came to be. Our nudes are always seen as an educational resource, rather than a “sexy” thing.

I feel like someone who just retired and is like “shit it’s really over?”

I’ve been transitioning my entire adult life. It started with me recognizing I was trans, socially transitioning for a while, then eventually lead to T, top surgery, and bottom surgery. This last year was the worst part as I’ve been put through the ringer with bottom surgery and it caused a lot of instability in my life.

Anyway, after 3 surgeries, I’ve finally finished my meta. I’ve been feeling more and more distant from the greater community for a while now-a couple weeks ago I saw a tik tok about STPs and I haven’t dealt with those since stage 1 (a year ago). I began to feel increasingly distant from the community. I was realizing how most folks at in the trans community are really early on, and now here I was, post everything. I could no longer relate to any of the common ftm “struggles”.

Now I’m recognizing that there’s rly not space for me within then trans community, especially since the greater community is pretty shitty towards folks with bottom surgery, and I’m tired of dealing with it. My girlfriend has referred to this as “transitioning out of my transition” and that’s exactly how I feel. I’ve been involved in my transition and online trans spaces for a while, and it’s odd to take a step back. At the same time, I just don’t feel like staying in the big spaces is doing anything positive for me at this point.

How did you accept being “post transition” and what are you focused on now? Do you maintain any involvement with the trans community and if so, to what degree?

Thanks!

Hey all, I know this sub is pretty low-traffic, but I feel like this is where this post should go.

I've been transitioned for a little while now -- did most of my stuff in 2014/15, and finishing up my meta later this summer. This whole time I really haven't seen much of my extended family due to my parents being unsupportive of the transition and more or less gatekeeping my access to other family.

That said, I'm going to a family thing later this week and will see my perpetually unsupportive parents along with some aunts/uncles, cousins, and the cousins' young children. I think part of the issue is that I'm not sure what to expect from everyone, since the few extended family I've seen since I transitioned have been unpredictable in how they respond -- nothing overtly hostile, just bewildered and uncomfortable.

What I'm struggling with specifically is that it's summer here and I'm pretty sure swimming will be involved. I'd love to participate, but I'm worried about possible responses to my body, especially because of the kids. I think I've internalized this idea that as a gay trans male, my body (heck, my existence) is inherently inappropriate for children. It doesn't help that I have tattoos and body piercings as well.

Keeping my shirt on would be a safer option, but part of me is indignant that I shouldn't have to hide myself for others' comfort. I worry about the kids though, that with the way I've changed, I'm just...something that they shouldn't be exposed to in general, much less at a pool. And my mother will be horrified regardless, so I'm really not looking forward to that (she's never seen me shirtless). Yeah we're from a pretty puritanical culture, how did you guess?

I dunno what I need right now. Can anyone relate? Does anyone spend more time around small children than me and want to tell me how silly I'm being? I have no problem being shirtless at the beach or going running or being around the house -- I love my body and I'm really happy with myself. I guess it's just the family context that I'm struggling with. I'd like to be a parent someday, too, so I should really work on these issues sooner than later. Thanks for reading.

Hu, I'm the original creator of this subreddit but lately more and more I have been off living my life and not on reddit. I'd like to see the community continue as I still think it is really useful and needed in the world. But would any of you like to join the moderation team just to keep an eye on things? Mostly no effort needed, but we occasionally have private messages that need addressing, etc.

Let me know your interest and qualifications and I'll add one or more people in a few days.

Thanks!

(Edit: We received many comments about the gender identity question. We are happy to honor constructive criticism, but please be kind. While I did not personally create this survey (I'm just an unpaid undergrad assistant), the author who did is also trans. This project aims to study specifically trans experiences while making the survey shorter for the participants, and these different options all link to different forms because the experiences of being cis or trans are not the same. I apologize for any hurt feelings this caused.)

Hey everyone! I am a transmasc person assisting with a new edition of a book that’s focused on pleasure and orgasms. We are focused on including trans experiences and perspectives, and we are looking to get some insight from the community with this survey so that we can better understand our experiences and combat the cis-centric sex ed narrative. If you have some free time and are comfortable answering a few questions about your sex life, we’d love to hear from you! Answers can be completely anonymous and the data will be held confidential. Please feel free to share this survey with others!

Also, we are looking to interview people who have had bottom surgery. If you are interested in talking to us, please dm me!

We appreciate your participation and hope to hear from you 🙂

The survey can be found at: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScZb6AJgxsOJMOPQYh3y7PrdWAhAsExHtLOxnNyHZAE0hqm_w/viewform

Alright, so I'll preface this by saying I know I probably have a bit of an outsider complex. But I was wondering if any other mid/post transition guys, especially if you're partially stealth, can relate to the feeling of not fitting in with either cis men or the trans community, and also the differences between white LGBT people's experiences and the reality for the rest of the community. I feel like I end up lonely a lot.

I don't really relate to cis men like my coworkers at my physical labor-intensive, somewhat hazardous blue collar job. I don't like interacting the way that they do, or talking about women the way they do, or wanna be part of a toxically masculine environment. These guys call each other gay and think it's the pinnacle of comedy, and doubt me at every possible turn because of my more "feminine" traits (they don't realize I'm trans, but are always up my ass about things like my small shoes and short height). I find it really hard to find common ground with these guys, especially since I grew up in a pretty repressive and religious environment, and never learned much about the typical male bonding subjects, like sports and such. I also find it hard to get through conflicts with a good amount of my cis guy friends, because the way we were taught to deal with our emotions is completely different, and once again the way they talk about women really bothers me sometimes.

I'm actually white myself, but after I was disowned for starting transition I became part of a nonwhite family. I don't feel like I can relate to the struggles of the suburban white LGBT people I grew up with anymore. After going through the way police treat my brothers and consequently me, how much less opportunity we have sometimes, I feel like in some things, my perspective on life is just too different now. Suburban and/or white LGBT people don't realize how much privilege they still hold, they tend to excuse narcissism as empowerment, they can't take criticism and tend to be kind of "soft" (as much as I hate that word) and immature because they just haven't faced the same level of struggle sometimes. It's a "life-isn't-fair-stop-complaining-and-do-something" mentality that I feel like they lack. Plus, I tend to have a hard time getting along with "internet kids" for lack of a better way to put that, people whose only jokes and sense of style are recycled trends, and unfortunately a lot of the visible LGBT community is kinda like that right now. I don't like hyperpop but i like Biggie and weightlifting and it's somehow making me feel like a grandpa even though I'm only 20. And unfortunately, there just is never as much of a platform for nonwhite or less suburban LGBT people, partially because of racism and partially because it's just a lot safer to come out when you're in the burbs. I wish I had friends that were LGBT and had kinda been through the struggle a bit too.

If anyone out there relates in some way, how did you get through it and find people you can really turn to for understanding?

I am two years out from phalloplasty with Dr. Chen, and have decided that I want testicular implants. For a while I was thinking I would be fine without them, but I feel like the implants would help with positioning, as my penis points straight down. As a result, I have to be careful when lifting one leg up to get in a truck, etc. because it can get kinked to the side and it doesn't feel good, if that makes sense.

I had no complications from phalloplasty, but I have had this thing where after peeing, i have to stick my butt out and/or squat down and milk it out/press on my scrotum to get the rest of the pee out because it gets stuck somewhere in my urethra. Other than that, i am very happy with my results, sensation is good when aroused, and it looks really good. My dysphoria is definitely gone.

I was wondering if anyone else could give me insight into how you felt after testicular implants. I don't want an erectile implant as of now at least because I don't like that you have to get it replaced, among other things. Has anyone had to get testicular implants replaced? I was told by my surgeon that they are for life but have seen some others say that they may need to be replaced after a few decades. If thats the case, thats obviously not too bad but just curious. Also, does having a full scrotum help with positioning? I know it will look better but also wondering about practicality.

Thanks for reading.

Hey gents, I recently started a subreddit specifically for stealth trans men. It's a resource where people can start discussions, ask questions, give advice, all about being stealth (FTM).

If you know, you know. If you need it, you got it.

We have open doors, so you don't have to be stealth to join or anything. We want there to be open discussions circulating. It's well modded. It's safe. It's chill. It's everything you want.

r/StealthFTM

I'm also looking for mods that can help me out since it's been growing like crazy. Let me know if you'd be interested.

Hey fellas.

I just made a subreddit, that I hope you will find helpful. If you know, you know. If you need it, you got it.

r/StealthFTM

Hopefully the title says everything you need to know. But this is a great resource for both stealth and out men, so feel free to join or to post. Knock yourself out.

r/StealthFTM