Good morning red pill first time long time. I have been applying soft dread, and some MRP tactics in my marriage for the last three years now. It brought me from a dead bedroom and the brink of divorce to getting laid a couple times a week. Although my marriage has mostly harmonious ever since there is a weird compliance test that I used to think nothing of and simply just do it.

There is so much information about shit test and comfort tests but I can’t find much about how to navigate her compliance tests. My wife always asks me to put lotion on her feet before bed. I always complied. It never really seemed like a big deal sometimes I use it to initiate kino and it occasionally leads to sex.

One night a few days before shark week she was being particularly flippant, and I refused. I could have complied like I always did and take the safe route, but not this time. I wanted to find out what happens if you press the shiny red button. This time I refused and told her she’d been mean to everybody. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar so do it yourself. She had a complete blowout. I didn’t want to fall into her frame and DEAR instead I fell back on my training and STFU. She responded to my silence with her own and we went to bed angry. The following day she refused to assist with any of the household chores that related to me. Usually, we work together on making dinner doing meal prep for breakfast and lunch the following day. She refused to help prepare any of my shit. I continued to STFU and dutifully completed all tasks as if she wasn’t there. Once I wrapped everything up and plopped it on the couch for the 10 minutes before it was time to put the kids to bed, she shit tested me. She broke her 24 hour silence to say it’s pretty tough doing things without my help huh? I played dumb and asked what do you mean? Everything is fine. The next day shark week arrives she was much nicer, much more helpful and I rewarded good behavior by doing the foot lotion thing.

My question is, how do you respond to a compliance test like this? Did I do the right thing by complying after the attitude stopped? I cannot overtly say, give me a blowy or no foot lotion. Then I will fall out frame and look like an idiot. The foot lotion may be one of the last weapons she has in her arsenal as over the years I have stripped away a lot of her control.

How should I respond to the foot lotion, compliance test? What circumstances should I comply? When should I hold out? If I refuse and she blows up at me is STFU the correct response or could I have done something different? I’m asking the red pill community for ideas so I can experiment and report back with what works. It’s shark week right now and I don’t care if I piss her off because she will be over it by the time I can fuck her again anyway.

I was a skinny nerd in my teens and early 20's, started reading and lifting a few years ago and got to a place where I'm pretty happy with myself.

Today I have a great relationship. Not married, mid 20's, and I love it - I like her, her friends, her city, her cooking, our sex, and it's just been a great 2 years with no sign of stopping.
Sometimes though, I miss the adrenaline. Before getting into my LTR - I was always chasing the biggest social event, hottest girls, wildest adventures and felt the most alive when meeting new women and exploring new people and places. I'm a big extrovert and the rush of talking to some hot chick in a pool party has always been euphoric, and it still is. Looking at my pal who stayed single and is studying abroad, meeting women in foreign countries and going to exotic parties, it seems like those are excitements levels which I forgot. To be fair he is lonely, and I'm sure in his place I'd sometimes wish for a deeper connection, I myself got pretty tired of my plates after some time and decided to upgrade my favorite one to my current LTR, but especially with continuing to get better and fitter the longing for new women and adventures is sometimes there. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels like the grass on the other side is greener, how do you deal with that? Especially knowing it probably isn't as great as it looks most of the time

My wife is currently pregnant and yesterday we went to a friend’s house, where they just had a baby.

I went with my buddy to go pick up a car that he purchased, while the girls stayed home.

Afterwards my wife and I went for a walk with the dog and my wife out of the blue said “I feel like I put out a lot.” Which, is totally not the case; it is probably once every 10 days or so. Since she got pregnant, I haven’t pushed sex, I took a back seat on initiating. My priority is working to save as much money as I can for the baby. To me, it doesn’t matter at this point, I have other things to focus on, but I was a bit caught off guard.

My response “honest answer, this is probably the least amount of sex I’ve had in any relationship ever.” I said it non-confrontational and just stated the fact. She didn’t have anything else to say.

I’m guessing she had a chat with my friend’s wife and sex was probably brought up. My buddy admittedly said he doesn’t have a high sex drive to me before. I have a bit higher sex drive, but like I said, it’s not a priority at the moment.

What would you say in response to that?

So, we are (apparently) having a new dog to add to our other dog and a half (effectively, we babysit one !). This has been discussed as a possibility in the past, but nothing more than that, and more along the lines of when one of the other two has passed on.

Now, apparently, we are getting a dog, he already has a name, and this hasn't been discussed. (Yes, maybe I opened myself up to this).

Now, I don't actually have an issue with this. I love dogs. I pointed out that this was done without even bothering to ask me (which is unusual, to be fair, she usually does with much smaller things) and she asked why do I need to. If she'd actually bloody asked, I'd probably have said yes. I am pissed.

I'm not quite sure though, how to "Oak" this. I've already stated that I think that major decisions (such as taking responsibility for an animal for 10+ years) should be discussed and I think it's disrespectful and not any sort of partnership.

Should I just leave it at that ? There's a feeling of "she's gotten away with it" here which I know is five year old level :)

I have been distant, and maybe sulking a bit (OI... not) since which strikes me as a variant on the no-sex sulking mistake. I'm pretty sure she's got the message.

Having made the point very clearly, should I stomp down if something similar happens again ?

As I said earlier, this is actually unusual for her.

There is one other factor. Like most non mongrel/rescue dogs, there's a purchase cost, which normally would be shared. My inclination is to not share this cost and to make it clear why.

Where did they go? Are they archived somewhere? All deleted.

I noticed that when my wife acts like a spoiled brat or plays games ill find myself still being annoyed even when she eventually decides to come correct.

For example she’ll avoid intimacy for a few days to get a reaction out of me or for power play purposes or if i call her over she’ll pretend to not hear me or will make excuses.

When we are at our own house shes usually cuddling with me and trying to be as near as possible to me at all time, however, Currently we are at my inlaws house with her family for a few days and it seems that she wants to spend as little time with me as possible. I.e she’ll be in the living room chatting with her siblings for hours into the night then she’ll come to our room when shes completely tired and ready to sleep and doesnt want to be anywhere near me. She wont even say good night.

Then i start thinking about redpill sentiments like “would chad tolerate this” or “would she act like this to chad” and then it makes me feel like a beta.

So then on the days that shes on good behaviour ill start thinking about how she was treating me like im worthless just a few days ago and how could i possibly tolerate that and act like everything is cool now all of a sudden.

Ill then bring this up and basically ask her what her issue is and who does she think she is acting all hot and cold.

Im wondering if this is my ego getting ahold of me and if i should just let things go or if these are acts of disrespect that need to be taken seriously

Had one of those (unnecessary-me) situations, you and another car, merging lane, I’m not cutting them off, but I can’t push up anymore, unless I want to be in the other cars boot. I stop on the merge, because I am out of lane and am not having an accident over this. The neighbouring car decides also to stop and make a scene.

Should I have lost my temper No, was it worth the aggravation and back and forth No. I’m not perfect, and the needless confrontation is what gets me every time. I can handle a fuck up, people fuck up. But to go out of your way, to create a scenario, and then carry on with it, just gets me. I am working on it, I used to be a real rage-aholic, I actually was addicted and conditioned to it, even though I hated it.

My wife then proceeds to debate the finer points of my road rage insults, too ok which I handle this gloriously, and in a super attractive manner. I was an emotional loser having a moment, and she chose her moment for me to fuck up perfectly. I gave my daughter the final nail, which she lined up for the coffin, 2yo repeating a word of dad’s swearing monologue. To which the wife, rightfully so, took a final stab. “You see!” (That was fair).

Then proceeds a 20min ride in silence, to the MIL,s, I said I will drop them off and go run some errands, “Yeah no worries”. I then set myself up for the final failure. Still being pissy and in my wife’s frame because I fucked up, I took the final piece of bait. I got into a road rage incident that I couldn’t care about, I then let myself get baited into a verbal with my wife, over the accuracy and nuances of my temper tantrum. In the driveway at the MIL’s, she asked if I was mad at her, and I responded, “No, I’m just not interested in the silent treatment” = I fucked up, and I immediately knew it.

I didn’t need to say a fucking word, I couldn’t have said a million other things, instead I wanted to react and be an idiot. “Where not doing the silent treatment!”, we were. “You wanted me to have a conversation with you after you abused me”, I didn’t. But none of that matters now, I just took all of it, made it real and justified it in her mind.

I understand I completely fucked up, and this was self inflicted, and completely unnecessary. I want to see if there is anything I can take from this, anything others can learn, and to drive it into my memory for next time.

The last few weeks have been getting a few bouts of this. I am not a stranger to her and tests, not claiming that’s what’s this was, clarifying my thoughts. There has been an unusual amount of testing, and shittiness on her behalf, and I have not been going roaringly well. So this was me complicating my life for the sake of it.

Lurked a lot, read a lot watched a lot.

What does the red pill say about your girlfriend joining pageantry, wearing skimpy clothes and prancing around on the stage?

Is it my problem that I don't want her doing it, or am I being controlling and all the rest of the negative shit for an asshole boyfriend?

Other than that she's a great girlfriend. Got her at 18, i'm the only guy she's been with, super feminine.

Hey guys, I need some advice on a situation that's been brewing in my marriage for a while. My wife and I have been together for almost a decade. She used to be a super sweet, loving person who always came up with new ideas for fun things we could do together—whether it was trying new hobbies, planning weekend getaways, or just enjoying each other’s company.

But over the years, her focus has gradually shifted to her career. To be fair, at the time, that was the right move. We started from scratch, didn’t have much, and she needed to get through her practical placements, obtain her job license, and eventually land a solid position. We planned that once she got to a stable place in her career, we’d start trying for a baby.

One of the reasons behind this plan was that in Europe, having a steady, well-paying job means good maternity leave benefits. The idea was that she’d get pregnant while having a secure job, so she’d receive solid maternity payments during her time off. If she resigns now and we end up getting pregnant in, say, four months, she wouldn’t get those benefits and would miss out financially.

About a year and a half ago, we began trying for a baby, but unfortunately, we suffered a miscarriage along the way. Since then, my wife has buried herself even more in work. She’s working 10-hour days on-site, plus taking on remote gigs on the side. She accepted a promotion about six months ago, which I think was a huge mistake—now she’s swamped. She’s managing a team, dealing with clients, handling project budgets—she’s in way over her head.

The thing is, we don’t even need the extra cash. My remote work, plus a second gig I manage, more than covers our expenses. We have a house, car, savings, no debts—it’s not like we’re scraping by anymore. I cook, clean, and manage most of the household stuff during the weekdays, so she doesn’t have to worry about it, but that hasn’t lightened her load much.

I still make time to hit the gym 3-4 times a week, keep up with hobbies, and meet friends regularly. But my wife is just too drained for that. If she makes it to the gym once a week, that’s considered a good week for her. She’s mentioned wanting to step down from the promotion, but that’s easier said than done. She says she’ll ease up on the work, but I think deep down she’s scared of being seen as a failure at her job. Ironically, in other areas of life, she’s okay with taking a more laid-back approach. Her doctor says her physical health is fine, but stress is clearly a major issue.

On the bright side, our sex life is better than it used to be, which might sound strange considering the stress levels. She’s receptive to my advances and rarely turns me down (except during certain times of the month), but she doesn’t initiate often. I’ve been focusing on the gym and self-improvement after finding TRP a few years ago, which has definitely helped my own mindset, but I feel like I’m watching her burn out while I stand on the sidelines.

Anyone been in a similar situation or have advice on how to help her pull back from this career-driven mindset?Z

edit: to add a few more details. I still earn more than twice than her, so there is no excuse that her work is needed in terms of money. I work 2 remote jobs, with a total of around 8-9 hours a day remotely. But of course she has a right to earn 'her own money' so that in any case she would have a salary if something happened (I would do like this if I was a wife). Lack of commuting and more laid back industry means I still have more free time, even after counting in daily cleaning etc.

Retard here. Just reading the MAP and there's a brief chapter on the Elephant in the Room. Mine is I got caught cheating about 10 months ago and it's eradicated any moral high ground I might have had, actually hurt my partner, and made me feel quite guilty, which then puts me in her frame if she wants to pull that card (which she does). I am sure I work the MAP as I would regardless--and plan to--but Kay does dedicate a chapter to it as if to say this might change things, but doesn't expound at all on how. Any insights would be appreciated.

On me: lifting good, looking great, reading a lot and getting better but I am far from natural and having a hard time implementing the tools correctly. 

LTR: both mid 20’s, not living together yet, the relationship is good, no problems with sex or intimacy or other areas really, just the occasional good ol’ shit tests or little tantrums. This story made me wonder about how I’ve dealt with it so I’ll appreciate feedback.   

Read: NMMNG, WISNIFG, TMM, TMMSLP, Book of Pook. 

Yesterday she cancelled our evening together last minute. Something emotional about having an argument with her sister and not really wanting to get ready to see me and not being in the mood, I said ok then, we don’t have to. I went out with co-workers instead and had fun instead. 

She later called crying about disappointing me and missing me etc.  
This is situation 1 – it’s a call for comfort, but she indeed disappointed me with cancelling last minute. I didn’t feel like providing comfort, so just said that I am disappointed because I wanted to see her but its ok and basically stfu from there. 

Next day it gets funny - she calls asking about another day to meet me, but my free time to meet her was the day before, I already plan to go lift the day she wants to see me. I don’t think it’s right to cancel my workout because she had a craze yesterday, maybe unless she’s really nice and makes up for it, so I told her I don’t know yet if I’ll give up on the workout. Here began a tantrum about her being less important than a workout for me and me not missing her like she misses me. I’ve tried not to deer, so I just said those are my boundaries, I respect my time and plans, and me moving them depends on how I feel. She kept going so I told her I’m not interested to keep talking about this on the phone and I’ll hang up if she keeps going. She started crying saying she can’t let this go, she doesn’t understand her place in my life and she’ll cry all night until we talk. 
So here again I don’t feel like giving comfort and definitely not like keeping this convo, so was this the right call? I don’t plan to move my plans currently after this tantrum despite her being “depressed until we’ll meet”, seems like cheap manipulation. At the end she literally begged me crying to talk about it tomorrow and explain myself, but I feel like she will try to argue anything I say anyway.

I love spending time with her but this feels like an opportunity to enforce boundaries correctly.  Any feedback about those situations?

I'm dealing with a woman who is particularly unruly, disrespectful, self-absorbed, and incredibly entitled. Her behavior is actually quite perplexing and counterintuitive in light of the fact that she brings nothing to the table in this relationship; we've had plenty of arguments regarding her not cleaning or contributing in any significant manner. Yet somehow she still finds herself able to be wildly disrespectful.

It's clear to me that this person does not understand her place in the world and in this relationship. Direct conversations do not have the desired effect, so I am trying to develop an approach that's a bit more subtle. I need her to feel dread, as close as possible to the real feeling she will have to confront when I walk out the door. I need her to have a taste of the reality that awaits her when she is on her own. I have (wrongly) enveloped her in a protective fantasy and I need to subtly begin to remove that. Can anyone offer some advice? I appreciate your insight.

I’ve been a classic beta most of my life (a function of my natural introversion, exacerbated by the way I was raised—to be deferential and low confidence) and recently realized that life is much more fulfilling when I behave in the classically alpha ways. I know alpha typically means the behaviors that make women want to have sex with you, but I’m really more interested in developing it for reasons beyond sexual strategy.

The thing is I have all the reason to be confident/alpha—I’m in good shape, have a good marriage, make good money, etc. But the beta programming is still there.

TLDR: I want to be supremely self-confident, undaunted by conflict, comfortable being center of attention, and ambitious. How can I develop these traits so they come naturally?

41yo 182cm 90kgb bench 110kg squat 120kg deadlift 175kg

Is it keto ? Low carb ? High carb ? Paleo ? Intermittent fasting? OMAD? 5 meals a day ?

Too many information out there, the only thing I'm sure about is:

• High protein always
• Gain weight: calorie surplus
• Lose weight: calorie deficit

I used to be a swimmer, competitively. I was eating a ton of food and never gained weight.

Fast forward a few years a I can't swim because of shoulder problems. Strangely tho I can bench and OHP, but swimming more than 5 minutes is killing me.

Getting into powerlifting and still eating like before, I am gaining muscle yes but also way too much fat. My appetite is too big.

I'm reading articles and watching videos and even asking chatGPT but everyone and his mother seems to have a different idea about which diet is the best and most sustainable long term.

I tried keto for 3 weeks but felt weak. I had insane libido tho I can't explain why. With carbs I feel way stronger but I realized I eat way more. I tried intermittent fasting tho and it bored me.

I meal prep but even if I calculate everything what should last 5 days last 3 days max.

Also family isn't eating like me they eat lots of sweets and other unhealthy stuf.

Need advices.

I see these terms used frequently and would appreciate some more context. Do you use different approaches for different kinds of tests? Thank you.

I feel like something is off in my understanding of shit tests.
A classic example would be me girl calling late evening and ask "why didn't you call me today? You had a day off", in a obvious shit-testy angry-ish tone. Of course she could've just called me herself if she wanted to talk, but her hamster wants the comfort and feels of me chasing and calling.
I either AM with "Was fighting Nazis in the backyard" or STFU with "I was busy". In both cases she'll ALWAYS double down with "Not funny, really why didn't you?" or "Surely you had 5 minutes to call". Then I can repeat myself but she won't back down and it's a broken record contest or the alternative is just hang up the call/leaving the room (classic verbal intercourse is optional).
I know her response doesn't matter, I can just ignore, exit, and continue with my day, but it just builds resentment and I feel I'm doing it wrong. Am I?

I'll start. Add "right now" to anything your wife says. I don't know who came up with it but I heard it on a Rian Stone video. I had real issues handling my wifes emotional tantrums and this tip really helped me once I internalized it. It's no big thing but it removes the huge discrepancy between how me and my wife thinks. I used to take anything she said to heart because I thought she worked like me and only said stuff she really thinks instead of blurting out emotions.

Was reading hypergamy section in The Rational Male where Rollo says Hypergamy doesn’t care. One thing it doesn’t go into is partners who leave their husband for same-sex or trans people.

My own personal experience that she was trying to monkey branch by hiding it from me until she graduated with a near equivalent paying job. However the person she was talking was F2M trans. and didn’t really bring anything to the table (money, status, looks).

I am looking for other people’s experiences with this and theory as to why partner selection doesn’t follow the normal hypergamy criteria.

Like many first time posters I've been lurking a while. But I may have been lurking for a record period of time, kind of. My lurking in MRP goes back to 14th December 2014.

That was the day, according to Amazon, I purchased a hard copy of Athol Kay's MAP book.

I must've had concerns then, even though things weren't too bad then, wife and I had fairly regular sex, maybe every 1-2 weeks, which I was happy with. But I basically read the book, thought, this makes a lot of sense, and .... ignored it.

I note many of these posts often attract , you did this wrong, do it right type posts. In my case it might be an idea and something of a challenge to find the things I did right. Not much. Probably just reading the book.

Though I had come to much of the conclusions more or less by myself a couple of months ago, a complete system reboot, losing weight, visiting the gym, much of the stuff in the MRP sidebar (except a new haircut .... I don't have much, but I'm taking more care of the few strands remaining). So it's not a big step up to STFU and DARE and so on. It has been noticed and there is some very low improvement. Some of the required reading I already have. I'm just hacked off I didn't do it in 2014.

So what happened ; well three things. Firstly me becoming a useless beta. Secondly, had bowel cancer in 2018, followed by thirdly a near brush death with pneumonia abroad a year later. Fine now (notwithstanding unfitness, but no actual medical problems).

Since then pretty much downhill in the relationship department. (Not sure if the obvious vulnerability when that ill is causal or contributory) To the extent that we've had sex once in the last 5 years (note: I'm almost certain there isn't anyone else). Also, no non-sexual intimacy (cuddling etc.), no romance, very little affection of any sort really. The one sex time was a bit of a disaster, it was last night on holiday (I'm writing this in a hotel room), I'd suggested a reboot of our love life (STFU ?) and unsurprisingly after 5 years it was challenging and weird, sort of got there but pretty terrible. We did talk (okay....I know) before and I did say that it might be difficult but I wanted to try (please have mercy....)

The reason for this VP is not to complain about it. I realise I've made every rookie mistake in the book and probably some you can't think of. I've become the Betabux Supremo. I feel like one of those "before" models in shampoo adverts.

So what's the genuine question ?

It's that I'm 61 in a couple of weeks (she is 54) which I think puts me at the upper end of this group. I'm not expecting swinging from the chandeliers sex and it would probably kill me anyway. But reasonably regular and all the other affection/romance/cuddling stuff. But do you think an MRP approach would help ? I can't see it actually being worse. Anyone my sort of age have any experience of it, or restarting if it is beyond fixing ?

Many thanks.

If most men seek validation from their SO through intimacy, how do most women find validation?

I'm having a debate with a friend about this question. He thinks you can be and I think you can't. What's the answer? Thanks.

First off I hope this post will serve as the basis of some conversation in this sub, as I've gotten a lot of value from this place and would like to add back while also hopefully starting it up again, as there is a lot of untapped value in the silence here, I feel.

This is probably going to a bit of a victim-puke and if so, sue me. Rule 9 says you're not my friends, that's better than if you were. I'm writing this because I'm pissed off, and more than a little directionless and confused, and clarifying my thoughts through writing and getting an ass-kicking, as long as it's in the right direction, is just the thing I need.

I, 27m, discovered the red pill seriously maybe 2 years ago, and my dating life immediately improved. I've known about PUA since I was a teenager, and I knew the Book Of Pook, Models, and NMMNG before I ever found TRP or MRP. I'd just come out of the other side of a breakup with a confusing/nympho hot-ish blonde with big tits who was fucking me because her boyfriend dumped her. I swear, this chick constantly told me she loved me in-between bobbing my cock between her tits and, like an idiot, I actually fucking believed her.

I actually thought I wanted to marry her, and then as soon as the honeymoon phase wore off and she started treating me like shit, crossing all my (weak) boundaries and then blaming me and saying that I needed to get over it? I actually doubled down, and let myself get treated like shit because, hey, I want to MARRY this girl. I honestly think she tried to fuck me endlessly to drain my balls and keep me weak and uninterested so she could have more control over me. That sounds crazy to even THINK let alone write, but I suppose that's why I'm here. No one else in my real world seems to understand the things I've learned here. I suppose you could say I'm red-pilled in a blue-pilled world, I guess that's something we have in common at some point in this journey.

So I started learning some things. I work in an office with a bunch of hot young women, and like an idiot, I started fucking them. Two of them. Two of them that sat in an office together for 8 hours a day. One was four years older than me, damaged blonde full of red flags but when I went out with her to bars, for the first time in my life when she went to the bathroom people would come up to me and say "Fuck, she's gorgeous". We did that dance for a while, then I found out she was fucking someone else in our office and blocked her ass on everything. I called that Progress.

The other one was five years younger. She just turned 20, was full of feminine youth and vitality and fantastically perky tits. We've been dating since then, but we're in an "open relationship", hah, let me tell you about that:

Somewhat of a classic story, innit? Was a RP Chad when it started, then I started falling for her and - based on this newfound and ever-expanding RP knowledge - I had all sorts of new metrics to measure her by: Low body-count, doesn't go out for girls nights often, never tried to hide any socials or anything, submissive in and out of bed, well-organised and intelligent, and in general just a good fucking human being without too much baggage. Just one problem: In my heart I'm always sure of my ability to improve, and I think I could be fucking hotter bitches.

"Fucking hotter bitches." Sometimes I hate this place, and I hate the ideas that it's put in my head. I was more miserable when I didn't understand shit, but there's a price to be paid for knowledge and I don't like how I think sometimes. Of course, that's got more to do with me than it does with you. I used to be so proud of myself for not being superficial and caring about opinions like the other meatheads I saw in the world. I was too smart for that, too refined and sophisticated, too nice. Too much of a pussy.

Well, shit. I'm still a pussy. A different pussy, but still not the man I want to be. When my younger gf left the country for work, I fucked another woman, and hooked up with a 2nd. I told her and she forgave me. I couldn't believe it. She knows I want to be 'open', she knows I want to explore other options. She assures me she doesn't want the same. She only wants me. I can't fucking believe it. I was hooked on Andrew Tate and Rollo at the time, and I couldn't believe that they actually seemed to be right: she'd rather share an alpha male, than be saddled with a loser.

Well, I feel pretty far from that now. I'm delusional, in my head I'm a player but in reality I never go out, never try meet women. I'm an 'alpha male' with no bitches, in his open relationship. There goes the Andrew Tate in my head again - do you all seriously consider women bitches? I mean how do you operate like this? Sometimes I feel like a computer that's been updated beyond what its hardware can handle. Sometimes I seriously consider driving my car off a cliff, or at the very least into incoming traffic. I'm a creative-type, and I see visions in my head of committing dramatic suicide, and I think "You should be writing this. This could be a novel, this could be something you create" but instead I waste my time scrolling through Instagram and Twitter, and fill my brain with the dumb shit that that comes out of the rest of the world.

I'm reasonably successful, aside from the fact that I don't make as much money as I deserve. I'm essentially a salesman who averages $5-6k in sales a month and sees $800 in commission a month. That will seem like fuck all to most of you (and it is) but I don't live in the USA, and $6000 a month would put me in the top 2% of the company. Plus, I'm going on a very expensive all-expenses paid work trip next month. But still, I'm getting fucked. Plus, aside from the big man on top, all the management in my company are women, and that's what started my fire to make this post. I was in their office, 6-7 women, where before it was a bunch of hot young women I wanted to fuck (and did fuck 2 of them, if you remember), now it's a bunch of overweight and unhappy single older women, mostly hard-core bisexual feminists, who live at home and probably haven't been fucked in years. And they were humiliating me, what started out as a casual chat ended with them calling me dumb to my face and making fun of me. And I fucking crumbled. I didn't know what to say, I stood up and put my hands up, and walked out. I mean what the fuck?

That threw all my illusions out the window, because I'm clearly not the man I think I am if that's what's happening to me - and if that's how I'm dealing with it. I don't know what's worse - that they felt like they could say that to me in the first place, or that I couldn't handle it at all. Gigantic fucking shit test, blew up right in front of me. Starting to wonder if I'm autistic or some shit, although I've had big successes so probably not. Luckily I was smart enough to take that wall-punching fury they left me with and take it right to the kettlebells at the gym. Where there a bunch of hot fucking women that didn't look twice at me. Hot women I want to fuck, that I'm too much of a pussy to even talk too. I mean, who TF do I think I am?

Overall, things are OK. My GF is reasonably hot, I don't want to call her a 6 but hey I guess I do. She loves me, is devoted to me, fucks me whenever I want - which is becoming less and less as I find myself less attracted to her and more of a pussy in general. I make decent money, my boss eats my fucking head every time I see him, I hate that overly successful multi-millionaire, but also he pushed me to work harder than I ever thought I could. At some point in the last few years I started an affair with a manager at work and crossed that very serious line - we didn't fuck because I balked at the last second, but we had a lot of hooking up before and after then, and it's been a cluster-fuck since then, an endless stream of exhausting games - I like her, she doesn't like me, we like each other, we talk deeply, we ignore each other, we smile at each other, etc etc etc. It's exhausting but I think I love her, and I can't seem to get over her. Phew, just writing that for the first place ever and imagining someone else reading it seems like a massive weight off my shoulders. I think most men struggle with all their thoughts being repressed in their head, it just doesn't seem like there are many places in the world where having these thoughts isn't some kind of drastic social crime.

I think I'm a genius, I think I'm destined for world-defining greatness, and I'm sitting here writing to a bunch of internet strangers on the off-chance something good comes out of it - so basically, I'm full of shit, and I fucking know it. I've been on a Napoleon Hill / Law-Of-Attraction kick for a few years too, and sometimes my big-picture manifestation bullshit confuses me, and between that and the hours of scrolling a day I start to wonder what's real in my head anymore. I usually smoke a joint most nights, I didn't tonight because I swore I'd write this instead. Sometimes I wonder if it's all downhill from here. I'm not sure which way is up anymore. I know that suicide is prevalent in men, and because of that I have to believe that somewhere out here are other dudes going through the same thing.

I seriously believe this place has helped dozens of men improve their lives, and I really hope it can still do that, it just needs a bit of life and momentum. So go ahead. If I can help in any way in return, I will.

Oh, and since you're probably gonna ask: Yep, got a serious case of fuckarounditis in the gym. 175 lbs, 20% BF, bench press / squat / most lifts max out at 130 lbs. Got my testosterone checked recently and apparently it's quite high, so I got that going for me.

TL:DR: My life is fucked, and I don't know how to unfuck it. I'm half-alpha half-beta, not living the life I want to be at all and being thrown around by life. Trying to not be suicidal and apathetic about it all. Got any tips?

I'm mid 40s, been married for 20 years, and honestly this shit came up about 8 years ago too and then dissolved. Now its come up again. I'm a beta bitch and a nice guy and always been one. I had a serious girlfriend before meeting my current wife and when my girlfriend and I broke up, that was probably the only time in my life I was remotely alpha. I pulled ONSs and didn't treat women very well. Problem was I was drinking and doing a lot of drugs, having unprotected sex, and way too many times worried about STDs or pregnancy scares. When I met my current wife I was ready to put that shit behind me and settle back into the comfortable nice guy ways. We just had our 20 year anniversary and my wife brought up our age and how her beauty is fading, and when it's gone, it's gone, and now is the time she wants to experiment before her opportunity passes her by. Problem is I just don't want to do that shit. I know I need to quit thinking about her and what she might do and instead focus on myself. Lift and hit the gym (I already have been doing this for years, but I workout in my home gym), lose weight, dress better, get some hobbies outside the house. Emotionally I'm ready to blow this shit up (state boundary of filing for divorce if she wants to pursue other guys, open separate bank account and direct my paycheck into that and start managing bills) or would it be better just to STFU and work on myself?

So let’s say your wife does something that she knows you don’t like. How do you not get angry and lose your frame. She is not with me rn. But she crosses a boundary without being with me. Now I got angry, I know I losed my frame. And should’ve done it differently. But how? If you ignore and go on with your life then she will cross it again without knowing. And when you get angry you lose your frame+ you give her what she wants attention! How do you let your wife know that you’re the boss. How do y’all deal with this. Not giving attention for example or turning your phone off seems to me also like a bit of a huge beta move. Yeah you are the men if you don’t lose your frame and get angry. But this will let her do it again.

I decided to write this FR because it’s still ongoing, and I want to capture it while it’s fresh to help me think through it and make the most of it.

To give some context, similar incidents have happened before, typically every 4-6 months in our relationship. Since starting MRP this has accelerated to every 1-2 months. I didn’t handle the last one well.

Things have been fine because I’ve stopped being unattractive. Both my physical and mental attractiveness are improving, though they’re not quite where they need to be. I still have beta conditioning to undo from my wife’s perspective, as she’s endured a beta bitch boy for a long time.

We’ve been having sex more regularly and sometimes more passionately, but it still feels like duty sex. She only initiates when I don’t for 5-7 days, and even then, it feels like duty sex.

I’ve introduced some DEVI and it works when we’re traveling or on vacation. However, at home, she pushes to stick to her sexual script. She’s a type-A personality and likes to schedule everything, even taking a shit. Sometimes, when I initiate, she’ll turn around, set her alarm, and then continue.

Yesterday, my BIL calls around 7PM, asking if I’d like to go for a ride. I agree and think it would be a quick 45-1 hour outing. Before leaving, I tell my wife I’m going to see my buddy and asked if she’d like to join us for dinner later with him and his wife. She said she was tired and didn’t feel like it but would come if everyone else did. (she was stressing all day how tired she is)

We go out, have a drink, and 3 more friends join us. One of them brings a special tequila. We have a good time and by 9 PM everyone is hungry. We try to arrange dinner with the wives, but most flaked, including mine which I texted but never got a reply back.

My wife calls about this time, I answer and tell her most girls flaked (seems she didn't see the text) but one of my friends is going to dinner and we could do that and then join the others later.

Before I finish, she goes on full tilt mode. 

“What the fuck!! are you still out? I thought you were going for a quick drink and you leave me tonight what the fuck is wrong with you?”

I start to say we can go to dinner with one of my friends which is going to dinner with his wife, but she is in rage mode by then and just continuos with a barrage of idiocy.

I hang up. The flood of texts start coming in at the speed of light:

“You’re being discustingggggg”

"All day in your world”

“Im so disgusted by you going out on a thursday without me”

“The only day of the week you speak to me was yesterday and you know for what!” (sex supposedly, and not true ive been pretty much teh same all week)

“You suckkk, tuesday you also left”

“Dont speak to me”

“Lets cut”

“Uninvite your friends for the weekend, im not going to entertain them”

“You don't even let me know”

“I mean you left without saying anything”

“You are a piece of shit”

“Forget that I exist”

“Forget I am in your life”

“Until you make a change and know how to live in a relationship”

“I am disgusteddddddd you disgust me, your plans, your way of life even being with you is disgusting because you only speak to me that day….” (sex day)

“disgusteddddddd”

Did not answer anything after the last phone call and barrage of texts and missed calls. Had a great time last night and went to the gym early today in the morning.

She’s been cold all day, I was upbeat and cordial when I came back form the gym in the morning. She did text a couple of logistical things and tried to emote something about my mother by text. I’m just ignoring the crappy behavior and addressing what we need to take care.

My plan is to mainly STFU and AM when she eventually asks about last night. AA her shitty comments about me. My friends are still invited and I know she’ll handle that well.

Hello everyone. This is an update on the "Cry for Help" entry I wrote to this forum 2 weeks ago. I feel like writing this, first, as a thank you note to all the people who gave me their opinion on what to do (I read them all), and second, because the problem is far from over (albeit in a better state, I want to believe), so I still am asking for advice. There is a lot of cringe here. Be advised.

So, yeah, the situation was becoming unsurmountable. She was giving me the silent treatment, the cold shoulder, calling me names, locking me out of the house, etc. and I was feeling so, so anxious and lost that, after talking to a friend, I decided to flee. I left my house Saturday morning, telling my wife (in a message) that I would come back once she was ready to stop abusing me and wanted to talk to me again. I went to my office first, and then to a friend's, four hours away driving. I stayed with him, zero contact from my wife, until Friday afternoon, when I drove back home.

Man, I hated every second of being far from home! Every. Second. I was so f*cking anxious. I couldn't sleep because of the guilt. Plus, I didn't bring practically any clothing for me, so I had to buy. My wife took me out from all our shared accounts: from the baby camera to the garage door. Because of a confusion, I also thought she had taken me out of all my credit cards, and I also started thinking she was going to take all the money in our shared accounts and leave me begging for money in the streets. Panic overwhelmed me and I committed a typical mistake: start calling people here and there, including family, to tell them my situation and listen to their advice. After many calls and much thought, I did send my wife an email saying, briefly "It seems you want me to divorce you. If it is so, I accept your divorce.". She never replied. I also told her I was coming back on Saturday.

By Friday I was just tired of my anxiety and total lack of sleep and I decided to take half a day from work and drive back. When I arrived she had not changed the locks, like I thought. I ran to my kids, kissed them (they didn't make any kind of fuzz, by the way), and I approached my wife who said: "I thought you were coming tomorrow. Are you expecting us to hug you?" And drove away with the kids (they were on their way out to an event).

That night my wife and I talked for 8 hours straight. She took my cell phone and started looking at my email and sent emails. She was so, so disappointed that I had talked to so many people that she started crying and yelling. My answer to this evident gaslighting was steadfast: "Don't abuse me. Don't abuse me. Just don't." In the end, she apologized, I apologized, she cried, I cried. We almost had sex. Hamster was running incessantly that night.

Well, long story short, after 8 hours of non-stop talking and drama we went to sleep. I was feeling very stressed but at the same time, relieved to be home again. Also, I was feeling very guilty about having talked to so many people (although, man, I called them because I was having suicide thoughts, what can I say). Now her family hates me and my family hates her (I come from a Catholic tradition in which family is super important), so, yeah, I spoiled that.

We had sex the next day. Yes, hysterical bonding. We haven't had anything since.

In any case, I have taken the following determinations:

• Not leaving home again, no matter the issue. A lawyer could argue that I am abandoning my house and give her full, or greater, kids' custody. Plus, it's my house. Why should I flee from my own house? If things get crazy and she becomes a monster again, record, take notes, and calmly plan.
• Taking over. Leading everything in my house, especially finances. I am not LARPing this sh*t anymore. This is a matter of life or death. I need to know all that I have and how much I am spending. I cannot continue living with the anxiety or not knowing what I have, where I am getting money from and where it is going. This is the only way of gaining frame without faking it: by KNOWING what you have and what's going on.
• Going to the gym and once I am mentally in a better place, start eating better. I feel feeble after this endurance and have lost weight along with the sleep.
• Prayer, prayer, prayer and prayer. And being open, not ashamed, about prayer.
• STFU; I talk like a parrot and am outright annoying.
• Gaining confidence and frame slowly, by actually owning my sh*t, as indicated previously. There is no other way.

Also, I am reading "It's not You", a book about the effect of narcissists on other people's lives. I feel like my wife has narcissistic tendencies, which explains her outbursts, although she's not a full-blown narcissist. So, let's say, it's for understanding and, especially, knowing what to do during an outburst. Just to know what I am dealing with.

Anyways, that's it, guys. I survived this, the wife has behaved decently, but I still can't sleep properly and am very affected. Never again.

Thanks. Shoot away, please.

In an LTR of 6 years with 31 year old girl. I am 38.

I have 1 child from a prior woman, he is 15.

My child and this LTR have formed a great bond, she is a great stepmother to him. My child spends about 25% of his time with us and the rest with his mom.

Things are generally good between us.

I have two residences. This LTR stays in one.

I have also been seeing this other girl for 9 months. Mostly in my second residence or at hers.

Things are also good between us, and I am fond of this girl too. I have always been seeing on the side but this one has stepped up.

My son is at the stage where he wants to come to my other residence more often and it’s becoming difficult to have him and my other girl avoid each other.

I can tell she wants to meet him although i kept that away for a while.

I am happy for them to meet each other, but obviously i have to explain the lifestyle to my son somehow, he is going to figure out that we’re sleeping together.

I have been mentoring my son to be his own man and be his own mental point of origin, but never really explicit that it’s normal to have this kind of relationship.

Obviously all the cultural influence around him is all the blue pill shit.

I worry how this will impact him.

Anyone have any actionable advice or experience with this?

Facing a bait question in a manipulative tone like "couldn't you find 5 minutes to call me today?" or "why do I have to ask twice for you to listen?", usually it's a flirty AM or A&A response from me. The thing is, when having a rough day and I'm tired, sometimes I'm just really not in the mood to be amused or intrigued, and instead of a cheeky smile the only thing going through my mind is "oh my god, really this again?". What is the best way to deal with this type of situations when the mood isn't there?

HELP!!! This is a victim puke and a cry for help.

Me: Late 40's. Two daughters, one of them about 6 months old. The other one is about 10. Working out every other day, trying to have my hobbies. Read NMMNG, MMSLP, etc. Many marriedredpill entries too.

So lately the situation in my house is turning ungovernable and I don't know what to do.

Playing the piano has always been my dream. So I called to have a 30 min. proficiency class. Just to see my level and eventually start taking classes.

She got MAD that I had asked for a 30-minute "escape from home" without her approval. She threatened that I would have to take the baby to the class (ridiculous), and I bit the bait: I started arguing back about how it would be impossible for me to take a class while taking care of the baby. And she started yelling how I was never available. Then she called her mother and started telling how "irresponsible" I am.

I went to the class, and I do plan to take the fixed class, 30 min. every week regardless.

Since then, 2 days ago, the wife has been incredibly disrespectful with me, and outright cruel. She's calling me strong names, cussing, asking if I am gay, yelling at me, threatening to tell our daughter about my supposed dark secrets (I was caught with porn in the past) and, finally, even locking me out of the house for a few minutes. It's like she actually wants me to start divorce or something. She definitely wants me to leave.

What I am doing: I try to fog and A&A the best I can, for her BS comments. But when she left me locked outside I went absolutely ballistic, and rightfully so. Weekend is coming, and the thought of having to be with her and my daughters is terrifying. I have several things to do, and i wanna have the balls to do them without her approval. But I am actually scared. This is abuse.

What should I do? Some ideas I have: STFU. Document these abuses in case of divorce (IDK). Leave for a while if she becomes unbearable (remove myself from the situation if I can). Not arguing, bug walking away, if she calls me names.

It's’ amazing and sad. Anyways, fire away. Thanks.

I recently ended my engagement, and I'm struggling to process where things went wrong. Both committed Muslims born in the same country, matched religiously and liked each other, but things kept getting south after the first month. She is US citizen, I'm not. Live in different states.

stats

33 M, 5'6" 135 lbs, 15%BF

lifts

230 SQ, 250 DL, 115 OHP, 165 BP

read

NMMNG, WISNIFG, the book of pook

Here’s a summary:

My ex-fiancée and I met through a mutual friend, who is also a respected imam in our community. We were both excited about the relationship and even exchanged wedding rings. However, things started to unravel when I made a hurtful comment during a disagreement. I was budging to all that they ask for, such as relocation, changing job, changing the day of the wedding, not getting GC through the marriage, etc.. which all felt reasonable except the relocation and changing job. I did send my resume, however, injob application websites and made arrangement for remote work at my work, also sought a rental house in her city. When she kept pressing about further delay of the wedding because "her parents wants it" although she is excited for the marriage ASAP, I suggested that her parents might find another husband if I couldn't meet their demands. This comment deeply upset her, her family, and even our mutual friend. BTW, the convo was private, but she told her parents and they shared it with the mutual friend. I made further mistakes before which her parents kept counting on me, such as using her father's medical condition to cut a TSA line during a trip we had together (which they saw as selfish and inconsiderate), getting angry when I get under suspension (GC marriage) and questioned for my intention, saying I'm not comfortable with something without proper justification, not being on time despite my busy schedule (she saw it disrespectful to her parents). BTW, she called me out on broken record, fogging, agree and amplify. I held my grounds with a smile but don't have knowledge nor experience on how to keep use/switch to what technique

I owned up to my mistakes and despite my attempts to apologize and resolve the issue, tensions grew. My ex-fiancée became increasingly distant, insisting that I communicate through her parents. Even after multiple apologies and a mediation attempt with her parents, the relationship continued to deteriorate.

Eventually, her parents informed me that she wanted to end the relationship. I apologized in person and then realized they want to fix things up, but first they mentioned my mistakes again, raised the mahr (amount to be paid upon divorce), and asked for a joint account. I refused, but hey still wanted to fix things up. We ended up planning to meet the mutual friends all of us to discuss the new terms, but I was late, so they decided to call it off.

Now, I’m left reflecting on my quick temper, careless words, and how I could have handled things better. I’m seeking advice on how to learn from this experience, improve my communication, use whatever techniques learnt from redpill properly, and ensure I don’t repeat these mistakes in future relationships. Any insights or advice would be greatly appreciated.