Jake just drooled all over my shoes and now I have the urge to send a pit bull to drool on him

JAKE HASKINS ATTEMPED TO BUM RAPE ME BECAUSE I FORCEFULLY ATTEMPTED TO BURGLARISE HIS HOME!!! UNBELIVABLE !!! WAS JUST TRYING TO INSPECT HIS HOUSE HOWEVER HE DECIDED TO INSPECT MY BUM HOLE WITH HIS COCK!!! NOT CONSENSUALLY!!!

Jakes, Brothers, Men,

I write to you all today with a warm heart. Recall with me on this fine day, April the 26th, on all the wondrous days us Jakes have inhabited the Earth. From the Protozoa era, when we lived closely with the dinos, to the Renassaince, when we assisted Caeser with the design of the city of Florence and assisted Michaelangelo in the painting of the Sistine Chapel, to today, where we played an integral role in the creation of a successful Covid-19 vaccine.

We, Jakes, walk the Earth, giving our lives for the greater good of our species and humanity, living our lives in the dark and in secret to keep our identities unknown. I SAY NAY.

NAY, today we must bring the people to open their minds to the existence of us Jakes.

NAY, we shall reclaim our identity as the leaders of gods and men.

Nay brothers, I say Nay. Today is the day the songs will tell about. Today is the day we rally together, arm in arm, for the greater good of us Jakes and for the betterment of our species.

Today, we live, as One, as Jakes.

I lied, Jake’s fucking awesome. r/projakes riseup

so bring it on.

fuck jakes, i hate them. we gotta end them once and for all. what do you propose we do this with?

What should she do?

i think we should excuse him, cause hes basically god

🖕🖕🖕

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Us Jakes have been oppressed for too long and it’s about time we overcome our fears and take back Reddit. DOWN WITH THE subreddit

What is jake?

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Also, Jake can straight fuck off.

fuck

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I'm Friends with Jake Been for Years , He is a total asshole

Why me

Hello there dear friends, my name’s Jake. I come to bring peace. What is it you so despise about us?