As the title says, I’m currently on Day 2 (although my app is telling me 1 day and 12 hours) and my anxiety has me wanting to seriously just up and leave my fiancé (who is being amazing right now!!) and run for the hills, or just not exist anymore. I’ve taken the day off work and I’m trying to just do little things to take my mind off my anxiety and what is causing it to be so bad, so settling in for lots of binge watching tv series - any recommendations, I don’t want anything triggering in terms of alcohol, relationships etc. just fun and completely mind-blocking things

Choosing not to drink is easy when you have a good reason not to. After a minor op I was told I absolutely cannot drink. I didn't, and aside from a minor FOMO while eatching my partner drink, not having any was easy.

The moment my ten days were up however, I was back at the bottle. And now I'm in the constant struggle.

It tells me that we are out own worst enemy. The problem isn't the drink itself. It's a lack of willpower.

I wish there were a way of having that constant assertiveness not to drink, even though I know it's slowly killing me.

Weird few weeks

Kid had a allergic reaction at 7pm and I was sober to go get her antihistamine

Then her tooth crown fell out a few days later 5:45pm and I was sober to go to the dentist. It is also close to where my favorite vodka is on sale and I never even thought about stopping until I realized before bed

Friday I hear my other kid in the bathroom at midnight (if I was drunk I wouldn't hear a thing) her stomach hurts and started puking. Sober me was there to take care of her. Norovirous we all got this weekend

As much as I enjoyed the illusion of the drunk happiness I think/hope I can maintain this mindset to start the next chapter in my life and I hope the best for everyone else

Need to stop drinking, about half a bottle of whiskey a day for years now. Every time I try to go even 1 day, it’s crippling. How do I detox/ dry out safety without rehabilitation intake.

IWNDWYT

Long time lurker. This weekend i felt like a hit a new low with binge drinking and I just hate myself. So here we are, day one. I cant do this anymore.

Literally, 4 days in, and I feel like I am stronger, less stressed, more confident. I am enjoying my workouts much more. I had been 60 days sober before and I remember how easy it was to just drop all these feelings for beer. Not even mentioning the probably more than 100 tries. One of the biggest triggers for me is boredom, so every evening after work, weekends etc. I am a bit overdoing my hobbies at the moment. But it is much better than drinking and I am very geateful that I have hobbies to drown myself. I think and hope they will continue to help me. Anyways, have a nice day everyone.

I’m already a pretty anxious person and tend to assume people are thinking the worst about me or judging me.

Sometimes, when I’m just being my awkward or goofy self over text, make a silly typo, or mess something up, I worry that people think I’m drinking again.

I’m not sure if it’s because of my past drinking or just my natural anxiety. Does anyone else struggle with this?

Not so long ago I would have been at the bar several beers deep when she told me she had to go. Tuth is, she would have driven her self while i was at the bar. Today, I was sober and not cutting into my drinking time. Feels good.

I work in social care with young people in care. I got really drunk yesterday and one of the kids knew because my behaviour was strange. I'm denying it but I feel so guilty. I don't know what to do. I put him at risk because I was driving drunk. I feel so scared

31/m on day 4… for probably the 400th time. The last 4 years I’ve been to rehab, lost meaningful relationships, been kicked from those homes as a result (back to a parents house each time in shambles) and had a vehicle repo’d. Nevermind the money lost, jobs lost, I mean you really name it. Have only ever reached 6 months once in that time and drank on that very day to throw it away. This last 7 day bender I spent the entire time on my back sitting up to take a drink or getting up to feed my dog and both designated times and let her out MAYBE twice each one of those 7 days. This is an amazing dog who has energy and when I’m sober loves me and we do things together but this last time I broke the dogs soul. It took until just today for her to even look at me Nevermind touch food or play with toys. To some it might sound stupid because I’ve read plenty of these stories involving humans but hurting my damn dogs feelings is the thing that I think has finally broken me and placed me in a true sense of wanting to change. I’ve got a lot to live for despite the past and I know it’s a ramble but hopefully somebody reads this and sees themselves and wants to change for good. Let’s do this.

Thursday im turning 30 and ill celebrate it with my friends in London. Very exciting but i still find it hard with celebrations like this to accept that i cant drink. It feels like something is taken away from me, which i know isnt true. Sobriety gives me a life i am so thankfull for. Can somebody help me see more perspective?

Wanted to share my story on here… I just joined the group. I’m 31M and I’ve been on/off binge drinking since I was 21. Last year I was doing really well, went sober in October of 23 and kept it up until June of this year. Funny, my life is very fitness focused and when I was running consistently I wouldn’t think to touch the stuff, but I got into mountain biking over the summer and started having a couple social drinks with friends while at the parks, etc. Well before I knew it was associating biking with drinking and it became a nasty cycle. I dropped running and kept to strictly biking along with drinking almost everyday.

Fast forward, my mountain bike season is over due to the winter but I haven’t stopped drinking. This is the first time I feel like I HAVE to have it. I’m married with 2 kids so I feel like I’m justified in having a couple drinks to wind down… problem is that I don’t know how to have a couple anymore. I’ll drink until I’m barely coherent anymore most nights. I like feeling numb, I enjoy how I feel when I’m drinking and not in tune with the world. A little more Background to me, I’m depressive and on multiple medications to help. And they do help… when I’m not drinking. I know the dangers of drinking and taking medications like that… it doesn’t stop me. I had a little scare a month ago where I had 2 drinks which is nothing for me and went unconscious and had a seizure while using the restroom at home. My wife was next to me and couldn’t believe what happened. I’m fine after the doctors checked me out, I didn’t mention anything about my alcohol consumption though.

So I’m here going on 24hours sober. I almost broke it last night during a late night drive to the gas station to stock up on drinks I could slam in my car before I got home but the alcohol serving hours had past and I was too late. I was furious and very disappointed that I couldn’t have my drinks. I’d like to say I’m very self-reflective person and I now realize that may have been a sign to check in with myself and question what I’m doing with my life.

So here I am. Lurking and listening to your stories now, hoping I find something that will work for me as well.

This year has been rough.

Mother died both suddenly and slowly in June, my drinking got out of control over july and august.

Started a new job in September and am now slowly gaining ground.

No drinking during the week.

Strict recording of how much I do drink during the weekend (got a handy app that also encourages me to do less) and can already feel my tolerance becoming lower.

Not sure where I want to end up, but even if I end up with not quite sobriety, anything is better than me repeating August.

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we're here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge!

I'm pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you're new to /r/stopdrinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you're like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you've been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn't matter if you're still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, lets not drink alcohol!

This pledge is a statement of intent. Today we don't set out trying not to drink, we make a conscious decision not to drink. It sounds simple, but all of us know it can be hard and sometimes impossible. The group can support and inspire us, yet only one person can decide if we drink today. Give that person the right mindset!

What happens if we can't keep to our pledge? We give up or try again. And since we're here in /r/stopdrinking, we're not ready to give up.

What this is: A simple thread where we commit to not drinking alcohol for the next 24 hours, posting to show others that they're not alone and making a pledge to ourselves. Anybody can join and participate at any time, you do not have to be a regular at /r/stopdrinking or have followed the pledges from the beginning.

What this isn't: A good place for a detailed introduction of yourself, directly seek advice or share lengthy stories. You'll get a more personal response in your own thread.

This post goes up at:

• US - Night/Early Morning
• Europe - Morning
• Asia and Australia - Evening/Night

A link to the current Daily Check-In post can always be found near the top of the sidebar.

Dear sober crowd,

Thank you for all the wishes on my day 500 and your insights on a sober lifestyle yesterday. You guys rock! As I said before, without this sub I wouldn’t have made it!

Another big part of becoming sober for me, was that I had to understand, that I had to help myself.

Topic today:

HELP YOURSELF

When I “started stopping” ;-) I heard in countless sober groups: “We are here to help, but YOU have to let us help you….” Or “We can show you the door, but you have to walk through it yourself…..” I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Why would a stranger want to help me? Now I know… because If he helps me, he helps also himself to stay sober.

I early sobriety something I´ve read (I think it was from Jordan Peterson) really opened my eyes:

“Treat yourself like somebody else you´d really like to help.”

If your kid / wife / husband is sick, you´d make sure they take their medicine as prescribed by the doctor. Because you want them to get better. Why do you forget to take your prescription yourself then? In terms of sobriety: Why do you neglect your self-care, then?

I think in sobriety, self-care is essential. And for me this outside point of view is important to stay focused.

What are your thoughts on this? How did you / do you help yourself?

I WILL NOT DRINK WITH YOU TODAY!

As I said yesterday, I might not be able to answer to comments during the day (German time) due to my new job, but I try to answer to some in the evening.

C U tomorrow!

Tortey

It may seem weird that im askign for what i need instead of beating around the bush. But i know what i need, if you all have a spare moment can you all give me some encouragement, etc. i could really use that right now! Thank you

Hi everyone. I remember visiting this sub in my early days of sobriety and wondering how people did it and if they enjoyed their lives. It’s day 1,274 for me and life is SO MUCH BETTER than it was before. I’m even sponsoring two people :’) life is beautiful when you stop poisoning yourself. Just keep going.

IWNDWYT

I've been sober for 5 months, the longest I've ever been sober. My plan was to be sober indefinitely. I was happy only being around my husband who doesn't drink. Then I visited some family who drank in front of me and the cravings came back.

I've been trying to find something that will replace alcohol- herbs, non alcoholic drinks, weed, etc. But nothing that I've found gives me a buzz or makes me feel any better. Looking for an alternative to alcohol is starting to be just as expensive as drinking, if not more. And the more I obsess over it, the more I want to have a real drink.

It's an existential crisis: can I live without alcohol? Can I find something to replace it? I honestly don't want to drink anymore, and I remember how much it ruined my life. I just want to feel like I'm not worried about anything and be in a good mood. Not that my life's so terrible. It's just that alcohol is a constant presence: on tv, in stores, in social settings. I'm having a hard time accepting that just because I gave up alcohol doesn't mean the rest of the world did.

If you’re laying around hungover miserable and sad about the broken life you’ve crafted you’ve probably discovered there is nothing better than films and tv shows to escape it. But they also give you a lot of perspective, a lot of self reflection, even if you don’t utilize it one bit (me, usually).

Just watched The Outrun (2024). It’s basically a self-reflective from the perspective of an alcoholic girl getting it together post-rehab, with flashbacks. It felt sincere. The boring slice-of-life scenes are boring because those moments are boring, and very inescapable.

There’s a scene where she’s outside a hospital and an ex came to visit her. Even in an almost nice moment between them that should have been enough, the party noise down the street somehow beckoned her. He seemed almost horrified: https://imgur.com/a/XqRZq2u It reminded me how many times I had more than I needed yet still found the urge to run towards chaos. For excitement? Chemical imbalance? Can I be happy sober, forever?

Tell me about films from this year or any others that made you feel anything at all.

five hundred and fifty-one days. that is one year, six months, and some loose change.

when people ask me, "what made you stop drinking alcohol?" i smile and tell them, "a flip switched in my brain. i just no longer felt the need or want to drink again." some days it comes out so casually, to the point i wonder if people can see straight through my facade.

it's not a lie, though. it's the truth... the softened truth. carefully fabricated to the point it's vague enough to leave no follow-up questions. choosing my words wisely has always been important to me, but with that, so was hiding my deep truths – vulnerability was never my strong suit.

the day i decided to get sober wasn't a remarkable one – it was rather ordinary. i really don't remember much about it, more so i remember what i felt...

the selfish truth is, a flip did switch that day. that morning, guilt quickly rushed in like never before, blindsiding me like a smack in the face, saying, "you NEED to be sober for this!" as the past five years replayed in my head, guilt – taking the embodiment of thread – slowly encased every sliver of thought passing through my mind, bouncing from wall to wall, each one ricocheting with lightning speed. i couldn't keep up.

all of the hurt and pain i put my family through. all of the friends i pushed away and stopped communicating with. ex-lovers and potential lovers i pushed away for no good reason at all, except for trying to show me admiration and love. every single past action, conversation, memory – good times and bad times – they all plagued my mind.

i sat with them all, though. to find my faults in each situation, to see what i could have done differently, to see where i need to take accountability, to see who i need to apologize to. it felt like an earthly punishment from God, but deservedly so. the only thought i had after all that rumination was, 'i don't want to be that person anymore.' that was enough to cement my decision of sobriety.

in these past 551 days, i have not once had the urge or desire to drink. in that time, i can recall three actual nightmares that i've awoken up from in the middle of the night, where in my dream i'm cracking open a cold one and indulging again. each time, i wake up gasping for breath, shaking, crying, and scared, thinking i actually relapsed.

that is not to say i haven't thought about drinking, and what the possible outcome of doing so would be. sometimes, i'll be driving home and i think, 'what would happen if i go buy some drinks? would i be happy with myself? who will i disappoint? will x amount of days all be for nothing?' then i get a sinking pit feeling.

the guilt. it always comes back. it always punishes me... yet, i will glady welcome guilt as long as it keeps me sober.

My wife and 6 yo child flew out to Florida for his surgery and I was supposed to fly out and meet them after I finished work a few days later. And after 5 years without a drink I got so drunk I missed the flight and next thing I saw was a video on the phone the next morning of my son asking for me after surgery. You would think that video would keep me from drinking but no. I continued. Finally stopped and now have 3 days. They’re all back and the surgery went well. My son was very affected by all this and keeps asking why I couldn’t be there for him. It breaks my heart. And I told him about alcohol and what happens when I drink it. He said he would break every alcohol bottle in the world if he could. I told him if I was on a mission I would still find a way to drink. The problem isn’t the alcohol. It’s me.

Tomorrow is another day. I can do this.

Hello, fellow Sobernauts!

Welcome to 'Tude Talk Tuesday, where you're invited to share what changes you've noticed in your attitudes and perspectives since you've gotten sober.

I once heard someone say "I started to put alcohol before everything else" and that resonated with me.

In these posts, I often say something like "as my drinking progressed" or "further into my drinking career" and this quote best captures what I mean by that. I'm really saying "as alcohol became an ever-increasing priority", "as alcohol crowded out all other things in my life".

I had to stop drinking because it got to the point that alcohol was my highest priority. It was more important to me than my wife, my kids, my job, my family, my friends, my own well-being. If I kept going, there is no doubt in my mind that I would eventually excise everything from my life in order to keep drinking.

My addiction was sneaky. It took a long time for me to get to this point, but, looking back, it alcohol just kept chipping away at my priorities until it was number 1 and everything else was some sort of hurdle I needed to overcome to get back to the bottle. In hindsight, I'm glad that alcohol finally asked me to sacrifice something I wasn't willing to give up and it made me reevaluate my relationship to alcohol and discover that I needed to get sober. Maybe that's what rock bottom really is, alcohol crossing a line you're unwilling to cross. In hindsight, it is amazing how many times I let alcohol cross lines before I finally became aware.

So, how about you? When did you start putting alcohol before everything else?

Im just so sad. So ashamed to have embarrassed my spouse again. And again and again. To have rambled on the phone with mom about things I really wanted to talk about and hardly remember it. I broke a special glass. I stained some things that were in the sink with wine. I am so consumed and in anguish with this guilt and shame. I want to tell everyone to just forget about me. I’m sorry for being in anyone’s life. I wish I could take it all back. Everyone would be better off without me. I wish I hadn’t let my husband waste all these years on me. He deserves so much better.

i drank yesterday after about 3 weeks of absence. i missed her too much and what can i say, the hole i'm trying to fill just exists. i'm so sad and broken. day 1

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can

It’s either be sober and goto rehab or be homeless. I don’t know if I should stick out treatment and then goto sober living make some money and go do what I want or if I should really try and be sober. I just don’t know anymore. Idk what it is that I want. I just don’t think being sober is gonna make me happy. Can someone help me? I feel backed in to a corner and if snot making me wanna be sober. I’m just so lost.

Hi 25f just feel like long term sobriety is not something I want. I don’t see my life being happy without alcohol or weed or something . So I’ve been in and out of rehab for 3-4 years and I recently had a 7 month stint of sobriety and relapsed and my parents immediately sent me to rehab. their options are rehab or you’re on the street with out any support from us. So I guess what I’m saying is should I do rehab and then sober living save money and get out so I can do whatever I want to do? Or should I really try to be sober? I don’t know what to do. Even in those 7 months I still wasn’t very happy sober. I don’t want to be in recovery or aa or do any of it. I feel like I. Should just comply until make some of my own money and then be on my way and do whatever I want. Any thoughts?

Just hit my three year mark and didn’t even realize. I was having 20-30 drinks a day for years and drank heavily for 14 years total. In the end I was drowning, a mental and physical mass of anxiety and poison. My life has changed in ways I never imagined since stopping. 5 years ago I never would’ve imagined that I am where I am today. I lurked this sub for 5 years or so before making the change, it was not at all easy but has been one of the most rewarding things I’ve been able to accomplish in life. Just know that it is possible and everyone’s journey is a different one. IWNDWYT

Does 2 weeks in jail sound like a "deal" for a second dui? The first one was 22 years ago. Wa state.