/r/ShitAmericansSay
Shit Americans Say: we can't make it up.
Have you recently seen something amusing out of the states?
Of course you have! Post it here.
This is a satire sub to have a laugh at amusing things, from Reddit and beyond, that are uniquely American in nature.
This is not a place to bring your hatred of Americans or America- we like to keep things friendly and toxic attitudes are not welcome. Please report anyone being toxic.
Keep in mind that we are here to have a laugh, not to get angry.
Rules
Above all: we only accept submissions about stuff that is lighthearted and uniquely American. Quality control is at the discretion of the mod team.
I. No off-reddit personal information; Reddit usernames must be visible. This includes non-verified twitter handles, unverified accounts across all other platforms, and license plates. It does not include reddit usernames. Posts with reddit usernames censored will be removed.
II. All text submissions must be in the form of screenshots or archive.is links. This obviously does not apply to articles, videos, and pictures - it is intended primarily for social media posts and public comments. When posting a screenshot, please include the context (i.e. preceding comments) if relevant. Please do not crosspost threads as they will be removed. See the Submission Guidelines for more detail.
III. Don't post screenshots or archive.is links of conversations you have participated in. Likewise, don't bait or troll for content in other subs. This includes comments on the same thread if it's below 300 comments, and the same chain if the thread is larger. This rule applies to participation, simply excluding your comments from the screenshot does not solve the problem. Rule 3 FAQ
IV. Submission titles must be a direct quote.
Use a direct quote as your title. If the quote doesn't make sense alone, you may include neutral, non-editorialized context in the title itself. Articles must be titled with either the headline or a direct quote from it. When posts do not contain text, titles must be a factual and neutral description of the content. NEVER include your opinion or bias in the title.
A direct quote is an exact verbatim match between the title and a portion of the post. Do not paraphrase or editorialize - this includes Spongebob font. For more details, see the FAQ.
V. Do not directly link (and hence page) the usernames of the users featured here. You can only ping moderators.
VI. Please double check whether the poster of the comment you're about to submit is actually American. Do this by scanning their post history etc.
VII. No low-hanging fruit. Some topics (such as Trump, Turning Point USA/Charlie Kirk, and WW2 bombing of Japan) and sources from certain subreddits (such as T_D, dankmemes, unpopularopinion, AskAnAmerican, and other far-right sources) are only allowed in the Weekly thread. These restricted topics and sources are not final and you should check the latest list in the Weekly.
VIII. Only archives/images to Americans saying funny shit is allowed - if you want to tell a tale you can do so in the stickied Weekly thread, which gets renewed every Friday. Rants and stories are only allowed in the Weekly Anything Goes thread.
IX. Under no circumstances search out the source of the SAS and comment/vote there. Brigading will result in a ban.
X. Don't be toxic. We will always be a satire subreddit. Toxicity such as hate speech and anti-American attitudes will get your comment removed and possibly get you banned. Please report toxic comments and users.
XI. Posts must be lighthearted. No depressing posts or things that aren't worth posting (eg something an American said that is perfectly reasonable in context). Yes, there are some topics covered that are more ironic than funny, but certain things just aren't lighthearted like shootings, sexual assault, any event where people are genuinely hurt, racists being racist, etc. Those types of posts are usually better suited for subs like r/gunsarecool, r/ABoringDystopia, or r/ANormalDayInAmerica.
XII. Posts must be uniquely American. The easiest way of testing this is to ask yourself whether it's likely someone who isn't American would have said it. Someone being religious or messing up geography is not uniquely American by a long shot, nor are racism or capitalism. What makes something uniquely American is if it's highly unlikely if not impossible to encounter outside the US or from non-Americans.
If you have questions about the rules, a post removal, or a ban, please check the FAQ page.
The moderators will enforce the spirit of these rules, not the letter. All actions are at the discretion of the moderators. If you object to any actions, please contact the entire moderation team and not the individual moderator.
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/r/ShitAmericansSay
545,437 Subscribers
The United States is the only thing holding the EU together
17:45 UTC
„America has currently 450 of these and Texas has 0.“
08:46 UTC
America invented craft beer
22:42 UTC
"I could type with the accent of 10 different nationalities"
21:54 UTC
Why the metric system should be abolished
20:07 UTC
I am part Hawaiian and I pronounce Hawaiian words naturally - but Irish has been hard and I am part Irish
15:56 UTC
“Still though, how do you think the war got won”
For context, the video was of a British soldier in The Great War smiling.
13:26 UTC
‘If we add a random state y’all would have no clue”
11:14 UTC
no… only the important people
10:46 UTC
"I am of the Clan Ranald from 1640."
- It's on a video about hoof trimming, not about Scotland. The guy in the video just happens to be in Scotland.
- How can a clan be from 1640? Clans don't just exist in one year.
- As far as I can tell there's a Cologne in Germany, Italy, France and Minnesota, but I can't find one in Scotland.
19:02 UTC
"He doesn't need to monitor the speech of anyone. This is America." In Youtube comments
15:38 UTC
"I don't know if you get that using Celsius"
Ok, I love Neil to death, but how come he can't wrap his scientific minded brain around this?
15:30 UTC
“Which line of text in the Constitution is it that gives the government the power to do this?”
On an article from The Verge about the USDOT announcing the legal requirement for ABS to be fitted to all new light-duty vehicles from 2029 in an update to the FMVSS.
15:22 UTC
"The best of everything is an Americn idea"
15:16 UTC
Had my first oath to my clan at 15, I speak Gaelic and I'm a registered Fenian
14:45 UTC
"No thanks necessary."
Top comment is a Vietnamese guy just for context.
11:04 UTC
America is the west. Everything else is a baby duck under this bald eagle's wings
09:24 UTC
Why are people born to African and Chinese parents in Ireland allowed to call themselves Irish when I'm technically more Irish than them because of my DNA?
00:21 UTC
The Weekly for 03 May 2024
This is a weekly thread to chat. Discussions about life, reddit and anything else are all allowed here. You may also discuss, and link to, things you saw from the banned list.
Banned subreddits: ShitEuropeansSay, AmericaBad, 2american4you, KotakuInAction, ActualPublicFreakouts, Le_Pen, memes, historymemes, PoliticalCompassMemes, pussypassdenied, pussypass, theredpill, theredpillright, justlegbeardthings, dankmemes, conspiracy, conservative, 4chan, murica, polandball, AskAnAmerican, NoStupidQuestions, UnpopularOpinion. Offshoots of these subs, similar forums, and other LHF sources also fall under rule 7.
Banned subjects: Trump and his entire administration, nuking of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Charlie Kirk/TPUSA, current events such as recent or ongoing shootings, terror attacks, hate crimes, bombings, etc.
This list may change at any time. Do you think a subreddit or subject should be banned from SAS? Send us a message!
00:00 UTC
"That cute but they still call on USA for help not once but twice" (on a tiktok about British army marching)
21:48 UTC
"My family also love German baked goods, so lead me to believe possible some German"
21:36 UTC
Here's a dirty little secret. Big pharma uses US profits to subsidize (i.e. charge lower) the rest of the world.
20:46 UTC
It’s the best in the world
It’s probably a troll account to be fair, considering the picture and it’s got 2024 in the name. But still.
15:18 UTC