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Have a story of you or someone you know getting back at someone with pro revenge after being wronged? Post it here!

Have a story of you or someone you know getting back at someone with pro revenge after being wronged? Post it here!


  1. Your story should be about getting back at someone who wronged you in generally an interesting and/or funny way. In order for your story to be pro revenge, it should involve you going out of your way and going above and beyond to get revenge. If that isn't the case with your story, it may be better suited for another revenge subreddit such as /r/pettyrevenge or /r/maliciouscompliance.

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    The Network of Retaliation:








    1,587,445 Subscribers


    My boss stole my Super Bowl tickets, so I made him lose a major client.

    With the NFL playoffs back on, I thought you all might enjoy this football-related revenge story.

    I'm a huge 49ers fan (the rabid all-day tailgate in the parking lot type). A few years ago, we made it back to the Super Bowl. I was working at a consulting firm with a handful of accounts I would interact with directly.

    One client in particular knew how big of a Niners fan I was. I was the day-to-day lead on his account. He really liked working with me and we became friends, often grabbing drinks or dinner after our meetings. He had access to a pair of extra company seats to the game, and as a thank you, wanted to give them to me as a gift. He passed the tickets over to the partner on that account, who I will refer to as DickheadPartner, to be given to me as a surprise.

    The game came and went, we lost, it sucked. The next time we met, we went to drinks afterward and he mentioned "Hey, by the way, why didn't you go to the game? I heard someone else was in your seats."

    I asked "What game?" He said "The Super Bowl!"

    Confused, I answered "I didn't have seats to the super bowl?"

    He told me that he gave DickheadPartner a pair of his company tickets for me as a gift so I could attend. I had zero idea what he was talking about. He looked shocked, told me to quietly ask around about it and get back to him.

    When I was back in the office the next week, I found out through one of the secretaries that DickheadPartner had given a pair of Super Bowl tickets to another one of his clients as a gift from our company.

    I might have let this sort of thing go to keep the peace under different circumstances, but these were seats on the 30-yard-line to see the fucking 49ers play in the Super Bowl. I was pissed. I considered confronting DickheadPartner myself, but realized it was the client who had noticed I wasn't there in the first place, so if I let him handle it, there would be no blowback on me.

    So I texted him "Hey, I just wanted to thank you so much for thinking of me with those seats. It appears that they were given to another one of our firm's clients." He texted back right away, in all caps, "ARE YOU SHITTING ME??" and then "Pretend I never told you, let me handle."

    He followed up with me about formulating a plan. A few days later, we were asked to come down for a meeting in their office. The client requested the partner be present, not entirely unusual, so DickheadPartner and I hopped a flight the next week and headed over to their office.

    Little did DickheadPartner know, my client had orchestrated a wonderfully awkward little show to catch him red handed. When we entered the conference room, it was all the usual suspects along with a woman in her 30's we didn't recognize. My client immediately introduces "DickheadPartner, this is Stephanie Suchandsuch, VP from [other department], she wanted to sit in on this meeting. Hey [OP], you guys must already know her from the super bowl!"

    She then responds as she goes to shake my hand "Oh, I don't think so. Did we meet there? I'm sorry if I forgot."

    Client responds "Jeez Steph how much did you have to drink? They were sitting right next to you!"

    Client looks at me, and I say "Sorry [client], I wasn't there. Are you thinking of someone else?"

    At this point, DickheadPartner is looking visibly uncomfortable, probably trying to come up with an excuse. He starts in with an "Uhm.." when Stephanie says over him "No, [so and so] from [other company] were in the other seats. By the way, I was wondering why we gave company seats to those guys, is there a project we're working with them on that I don't know about?" (obviously not, they were in completely different industries, it would be like Coca Cola partnering with John Deere).

    DickheadPartner lets out an "Uh" again, and the client immediately speaks over him asking "DickheadPartner, I gave you those tickets for [OP]?"

    At this point DickheadPartner is turning bright red. He responds "Ohh, uhh, well he wasn't able to make it, so he must have given the seats away to someone else?" and turns to me looking for me to cover for him. Client smirks at me.

    I respond "Uh, what are you talking about? Client, you gave me tickets to the super bowl??"

    Client suddenly raises his voice "DickheadPartner, those tickets were a personal thank you gift from me to [OP]. Did you give them away to someone else? [pause] Was it another client??"

    DickheadPartner buts in with "Oh, uhm, maybe something got mixed up in the office?"

    Client went quiet for what probably seemed like an eternity to DickheadPartner. He then looked down, grabbed his portfolio and iPad, put them into his briefcase, and said "I think this meeting is over. [OP] it seems as if I owe you a thank you gift, let's go to lunch. Stephanie, you're welcome to join...DickheadPartner, I need to evaluate our relationship, please go back home and expect to hear from us next week."

    DickheadPartner suggests he would like to join, presumably to do damage control, and Stephanie sternly tells him "I don't think that's a good idea." and asks the front desk to see DickheadPartner out. As soon as he is in the elevator, we all break out laughing hysterically. Stephanie wasn't really a VP, just an employee at the company who client had drafted into helping with his pre-planned meeting skit, but she did end up coming to lunch with us and was a fellow Niners fan and total blast to hang out with.

    On our way to the restaurant, I got a desparate text from DickheadPartner saying I needed to "cover for the firm" and that we could discuss things when I got back. I replied "Yes, we need to talk, but I'll see what I can do." Client told me to wait a couple hours and then respond to him: 1) To expect invoices for the resale value of the super bowl tickets (resale is WAY above face value, it was over $10K) as well as our lunch (he picked a pricey spot and made a big show of overspending) and that he expected them to be paid immediately, 2) Expected I be given a direct apology, 3) Expected a written apology to his company for what he considered theft, and 4) He will only interact with me or another one of our firm's partners, never DickheadPartner.

    This whole thing caused a stir with the other partners, and I actually came off looking great because it appeared that I had made a good faith effort to save the client for the firm despite being the victim in this situation. The client would transfer to another partner, which meant DickheadPartner lost his profit share on any work with them. Oh, and the other partners in the firm made DickheadPartner pay the invoices back out of his salary.

    In retrospect, I really have no idea what the hell the guy was thinking. Did he seriously believe the client would just not notice me not thanking him for Super Bowl tickets?

    Anyway, the well was kind of poisoned for me there long term because DickheadPartner wasn't going anywhere. I left the firm a few months later for a much better position. Client ultimately terminated their relationship with that firm a year later, he actually now works with a good friend of mine at a competing firm. I'm still pissed I missed out on the super bowl even though we lost; hoping we make it back this year so I can finally go to one in person. Go Niners!

    22:28 UTC


    Young firefighter disrespects a Lieutenant so I shame him and get him to quit

    I'm not sure if this is "Pro" or not, but I got revenge on a douche bag I used to volunteer Fire Fight with. This was in the early/mid 2000's. I decided to going the local Fire Department as a volunteer fire fighter. I did it for about 5 years and it was great. Training consisted of 3 months of Fire Training (2 nights a week and all day Saturday) and then you would go to EMT training (another 3 months of training). I was about a year and I was asked to help train some new recruits. One of the Lieutenants, Amy, was a short, middle aged woman who was so full of fire she could make a grown man cry. One of those people who commands both fear and respect where ever she went. Honestly a great Lieutenant and great person. When she wasn't being a drill Sargent, she was extremely kind and generous. She would often bake people cakes and treats and deliver them to the various stations in our Department.

    However, in this new Academy class that I was asked to help with, there was a cocky kid that we will call Aaron. Aaron talked big during the training and acted like he was the all American hero. Like he was going to be the lead bad ass in Back Draft 2. He performed moderately well in training but far from the top of the class. He gets assigned to Amy's station, which is a pretty quiet station in the Department.

    A few month after he starts, Amy swings by my station one night to say hi. She brings us the "Motherlode" cake from Claim Jumper (massive 6 layer cake). She explained that she had treated her crew to a night out a Claim Jumper, which must have cost a lot of money. I think she took out about 8 people and bought a whole cake to top it all off. They had eaten the first 2 layers so she gave us the remaining 4. We thanked her profusely and she left.

    Back then, the big social media platform was MySpace and I decided to look up some of the people in the department to make friends. I came across Aaron's page and I noticed some photos of him and the rest of his crew at Claim Jumper with Amy. However, when I read the comments, he bragged about how he had purposefully ordered the most expensive dinner, appetizers and drinks since Amy was buying. He bragged about how he was going to take advantage of her "stupidity". This alone pissed me off because she was doing this super nice and generous. What an ungrateful, selfish dick.

    Then I read the rest of his profile. He had videos and memes on his page glorifying himself as a bad ass fire fighter, bragging about running into burning building and how he was such a hero. He was flirting with girls, blatantly trying to impress them with how brave he is. Bear in mind, he just graduated from the Academy 3 months prior and hadn't even gone to EMT school. He had never been to a house fire and all he basically did was carry gear for the other fully qualified fire fighters. It was too much for me to tolerate.

    So here is the revenge. I printed off copies of his MySpace page, including his comments about Amy and toxic bragging. I made multiple copies and took them to every station in the Department. We all had pagers (God I'm old) and a small keyboard at each station to send out text messages. I made an anonymous, all staff page to everyone in the department. I had to keep it brief since I couldn't fit a ton of characters, but I sent out his MySpace info and to told everyone about how he treated Amy. Within an hour, Aaron had cleared out his MySpace page of all posts, photos etc. A couple of days later, he deleted his account. It's a good thing I made so many copies :)

    Immediately after this happened, he stopped coming to volunteer and a few weeks later, I heard that he had quit. I later talked to Amy and admitted I was the one who sent the page. I told her I hated how he treated her and she thanked me. She seemed really sad and hurt by what he had done. But being the tough short lady that she was, she quickly got back into being an actual bad ass fire fighter. She later started dating and married a Fire Chief that also helped at the Academy. I've lost touch with her but I hope she did well. She seemed pretty happy last time I saw her.

    Edit: I can't stop laughing about how this story ignited a fire storm about Claim Jumper's Motherlode Cake.

    02:39 UTC


    Call me a race traitor in a PM on reddit? Lets destroy your life

    A few years ago, on a different Reddit account, I mentioned that I was in an interracial relationship. A Redditor reached out to me and told me I was a race traitor and unfaithful to my race.

    I was like, "um...wtf, bro"

    I looked at his account; it was 6 years old...which told me his username was likely something he used a lot. So I started googling his username@gmail, username@yahoo, etc., etc., and I found a match with Hotmail...a guy by the name of, let's say, Jeff was selling some NFL game tickets and had posted his email.

    Now, this doesn't necessarily mean it's the same person.

    However, in the post, he mentioned a city in America and that he was a fan of a particular football team. I went through the Reddit user post history

    He posted quite a bit in the respective city subreddit; he mentioned going to NFL games, and in another post, he also said he was born in Canada.

    So through the ad for the NFL ticket, I figured out his real name. I found his biography on his employer's website; he was a senior-level manager, so they had a bio for him.

    In that bio, they mentioned he was born in Canada, was a fan of said NFL team, and loved living in the city. I also found his LinkedIn page during this time. So I sent him a connect request on Linkedin, which he accepted. I figured he would because he had 500+ connections.

    So here's what we know.

    • His username matches his email handle
    • He likes the NFL team
    • He lives in a said city that he posts in said cities subreddit
    • He was born in Canada

    I then...found his Facebook page. His Facebook page was public, and he posted what I would describe as semi-racist material. Also, his Reddit page was significantly more racist.

    Based on the numerous connecting factors, I determined, so I create a report. I included screenshots and links and summarized my findings in that report. Now, based on this person's position in his company, he likely had a significant role in deciding who this company employs. Also, his company clearly stated they were an equal opportunity employer. So I called their HR department, I found the number, and I called them, and I asked them, "Would you be concerned if a senior level manager in your organization was a proud racist and degraded your equal opportunity employment policies"

    They where concerned

    So I told them I had done an investigation into one of their senior level managers and described he was racist and I had put together all my evidence and findings in a report and could email it over to them.

    I emailed them the report

    A few weeks later I called to get an update and I was told they appreciated my report, however they would have to comment on the status of their decision and make public statements in regard. Basically, "Thanks for letting us know, but we aren't going tell you shit."

    That's fine

    So I waited another month, and I kept checking his Linkedin page. Then one day, I saw a Linkedin post from him in which he said he is looking for a new opportunity and if anyone had any positions open.

    So I messaged him on Reddit and I told him "Hey Bro, heard you got fired. Just want you to know I'm the reason why"

    He threatened to find out who I was hunt me down rape my spouse and strangle me to death. So I reported him to reddit admins who promptly perma banned him.

    Now, he really should have learned his lesson...because guess what...he didn't connect the dots, he didn't know I could see ALL HIS LINKEDIN activity, he didn't know who I was, he simply acted in rage. So I put his newest message in his "folder" and added it the report...because you see I can be an incredibly vindictive motherfucker.

    I checked his Linkedin...once a week.

    Good news

    He got another job

    Bad news, their HR department was also quite easy to get ahold of and discuss their new hires online racist, threatening behavior. However, let's just say I had a lovely conversation with this HR representative. She was a woman and based on how she sounded and her name I suspect she was a woman of color...

    So yea...

    I'm not sure what happened after this, because a few weeks later his internet history was cleaned up, and his LinkedIn page was deleted. However, this company listed their senior management which was what his position was...I never saw his name listed :)

    What I suspect happened is after his HR reviewed my evidence they terminated his employment with them.

    I would have totally gone after him a third time...but he got smart the 2nd time around.

    TL:DR guy called me a race traitor, I got him fired from not one...but two jobs.

    Hey btw Jeff, if you see this post I'd love for you to send me a new message :) I really enjoyed the little game I played with you. I also question how did you handle getting fired from two jobs back to back on your resume and in future job interviews?

    14:56 UTC


    Lying and using people? I got you.

    This one needs background to fully understand why I went out of my way for this revenge.

    My best friend was married for 10 years. With his ex for a total of 13 years. He was absolutely head over heels in love with her like I had never seen before. Which I never understood due to her alcohol abuse. She would take it out on him, and when he'd be venting about it he'd always fall back on "it's not her it's the illness" a very respectable and admirable stance on it.

    Last year she asked for a divorce because after years of what I would call abuse, he had simply run out of gas. Her reasoning for asking for one? When she got fired for testing positive for weed, he wasn't empathetic enough. He admits he wasn't because it had come on the back of one of her drunken tirades where she told him he was a piece of shit who was always trying to control her. When all the ever tried to get her away from was booze for the way she treated him when she was drunk.

    It took him forever to move on from this with the divorce following shortly after. And earlier this year after thinking he was moving on, he calls me to come over and he's in a bad way. I arrive and he is absolutely fall down level of drunk. Going on that she didn't ask for a divorce for those reasons that she had really been cheating, with several other people. The next morning when he's more coherent, I ask him how he knew. He was cleaning out the spare room and selling/donating stuff he didn't need anymore and when he went to clear an old tablet, she was still logged on and all of the evidence was there. He gets that out and says he's going back to bed and asks me to lock up when I leave. Before I left, I looked at the tablet, after seeing what I saw, I wanted to find a way to get even with the horrible and conniving woman, so I took pictures of it all and left.

    When I got home I started looking up information about these people, two of them were just normal guys, whether they knew she was married or not I don't know. But the third. Well the third comes up as a registered sex offender. Still on probation for being such a disgusting pile of shit, and address listed as "123 lane, city, state" Chomo knew that she was married.

    I immediately knew what I was gonna do. Chomo didn't live at 123 lane. Chomo was living with the conniving ex. She made regular posts about their time together, on top of that she is an avid weed user, and has several firearms because she enjoys sport shooting.

    So I go into the states sex offender site, and make a report of chomo not actually living where he's registered, and that chomo is living in a home with what he has no right to being a convicted felon and on parole. I include screen shots of the social media posts and all to back it up. I was thinking little would happen but an inconvenience to their lives. Boy was I wrong. She broke her typical posts with nothing serious trend on social media yesterday. With this gem.

    "My year can't get any worse. Chomo lost his job and I am now facing eviction because I can't afford my rent"

    So I go on the state court system site to see if it's related. And yes it was. Chomo was re-arrested. She clearly can't post bail or Chomo would be out. The job she took after being fired definitely can't support her lifestyle. So he's probably going back to prison or at least jail and she's a breath away from being homeless.

    I don't know if I'd ever tell my best friend I was the one behind this. But he is definitely ecstatic to see a horrible woman and sewer rat get what they deserve. Part of me wants to put up the sex offender registration link and that it's sitting in jail and say something to the effect of "it's a little more than losing a job" but not wanting to make my best friends life harder I'll just let sleeping dog lie.

    22:02 UTC


    The Greatest Elementary Revenge

    I was bullied by these two people we are gonna call Becky and Jake. Now Becky was more mental she would say things like "this is why your father left, you ugly rat, I hope you burn in a fire as you should witch, go back to hell maybe they will want you." While John would be more physical and would hit me pull my hair or say "I would kill myself if had your face, go kill yourself jump off a cliff no one will care, I'm going to push you off a cliff."

    They stopped in fifth grade because I stopped giving them a reaction. But also in fifth grade I became known as the "Listener" I would just listen to people's problems and just keep them a secret. I soon realize of the power I had and quickly became a "Listener" for Becky and Jake. During these sessions I would record the audio on my Grandpa's old phone that he doesn't use. Becky had sexual acts and would talk sh!t about her friends and crushes she would also talk about the people she bullies and tell me what she did to them. While Jake had more violent acts along with some sexual one's. They mostly did the same things they did to me when they bullied me. After a while I got enough and used my grandpa's old phone and phone number and sent Becky's audio of her talking sh!t about her friends. Then after that I sent all the audio clips from both of them onto school group chats that I joined on fake accounts. Then finally I sent every single audio clip to the Principle and Vice Principle then to their teachers. I edited out all the mentions of my name. Then I took out the chip from the phone and broke it. I smash the phone in the creek by my school then put it int the stream to be washed away.

    They both got suspended for three months and detention for five months. They now seem to do pretty well no one knew it was me who sent it out. I still listen to people's problem's and give them advice. I'm also not afraid to do something about again if they hurt someone else.

    02:51 UTC


    I got my childhood bully arrested

    I was bullied repeatedly by this guy when we were kids. I saw on his social media profile he was arrested because his profile picture was of him in one of those visiting cells. I also noticed his last name on the account wasn’t the same as when we were kids. I wondered why so I looked up his original name on the arrest warranty registry and there was indeed an arrest warrant out for him (it matched his birthdate). I reported his social media and name change anonymously and got $1000 from his arrest (my county has an anonymous online report system that gives you a confirmation number to follow up on and you submit that confirmation number to a location if it results in an arrest). To this day, no one knows I ratted his alias to the police.

    I guess you can say his debt has been paid.

    21:09 UTC


    Stiff me on overtime? Queue the long, expensive, revenge.

    This happened in the early 2000s when I joined a start-up. We agreed on a salary and no paid over-time and an evaluation in 3 months and then annually. Standard stuff mostly. It was a very mediocre salary for the work, but I really liked work itself, which was extremely interesting and challenging. For me, even if the finances were so-so I felt I'd learn a lot of skills which would be useful in the future.

    After 3 years and having 10 decent clients and a bunch of clients trialing and money rolling in, the talk turned to back-pay and paid over-time plus compensating for past over-time. At that point, around $50k in OT had been accrued, which is a lot. Legally it couldn't be back-pay, so the talk was always of a discretionary bonus. Now at this point, everyone is okay with this, myself included. And this was discussed in writing, via company emails too, so I felt secure and that no bad will was in play. I felt the company should be able to afford the payment, equally I'd happily settle for equity at a discount (which is legally possible there) if cash-flow was an issue.

    The discussions about back-pay, possible equity and now started to drag on and I was getting irked by this. In the end, I was made an offer of equity which meant the company valuation was far beyond anything reasonable, in the hundreds of millions and I'd get a miniscule stake (less than 0.01% of a company with 9 employees and a projected annual turn-over of around 2 million). It was a F-U of sorts to stiff me out of money and I didn't want to take that lying down. To say I was furious was an understatement.

    Anyway, the day he made that offer I handed in my resignation. This sent the CTO into panic-mode because the CEO had refused an updated contract and I was still on a 1-month notice period plus I had a lot of untaken paid leave. Basically it meant I was walking out right then and there. So... off I went that very same day, to the shock and surprise of everyone, I guess.

    The next day I sent an official, registered, letter requesting my overtime/back-pay and received a negative response, which I followed up with another, detailed, demand. This was also rejected because the bonus was discretionary and "there is no over-time". However, I'd been seeking legal advice and I understood that they don't have a leg to stand on if I am willing to pay for an attorney.

    As the liability in such matters is firmly and 100% on the employer, I was willing.

    You need to understand that going to a lawyer was very rare in those parts back then, so companies didn't generally expect this outcome (things have since changed). When going through the applicable laws with the attorney, I noticed there is a limitation of 7 years. So, while my attorney was laying out what to do in order to get me my money in a little as a few weeks, I just asked him what if we wait until it's 6 years and 11 months after the transgression and then file, demanding interest? I wanted this because the law stated that back-pay is due at a 9% APR ABOVE the base-rate (3.25% at that time), accrued daily, for every day past the due date. We're looking at ~12-12.5% compound daily APR. The risk is that the company folds in that time, but I decided to take that risk. I sent one final letter stating that I expect "all the owed and accrued amounts to-date" to be paid immediately. Of course, nothing happened.

    For the next few years life rolled on. The company did grow and become a known player in the area. When the time came, I found an attorney and started the case. We had copies of all the communications, copies of the registered letters and responses. The back-pay demanded now, including interest, was $112k. What I didn't know was that in addition to this that there are fixed penalties for each instruction to perform uncompensated over-time. The total demand was Something like $135k. To say that the CEO, who was still CEO, lost his sh*t would be an understatement. I got a very verbally abusive phone call which I dutifully recorded (as it wasn't completely unexpected) and was added to the filing. The CEO fought, or tried to, but when the judge heard the phone call, he took an immediate dim view. Reading through all the communication just put more nails in the defense's coffin. The judge just ruled and instructed the company to pay "immediately and without delay" and also ordered the company to pay all my legal costs. They also got a full audit from the department of labor.

    The company paid up a week later.

    To add insult to injury, the evening of the court's decision, the CEO apparently got very drunk and crashed his car into another vehicle while drunk. He got a DUI conviction and lost his driving license for half a year and his insurance refused to pay out for the damages to his vehicle (brand new Mercedes S-class) as he was drunk. All in all, a glorious day.

    13:12 UTC


    How I got a car dealership to give my friend a "newer" car

    Circa 2020 January my friend makes a stupid decision and buys a brand new car he can't afford. His insurance is like $400 a month, he makes like $10.25 an hour working as a shift supervisor at McDonalds. His car payment is like $795 a month.

    Now at $10.25 an hour, 30 hours a week that's a weekly income of about $300 a week or about $1,230 a month....so yea.

    So my friend came to me for help because I used to sell cars and know the industry pretty well. I go over his paperwork. The dealer did rip him off, but my friend is trying to find a way to get out of this mess. And ripping someone off isn't illegal. They did of course over charge him for warranty, they gave him a higher APR, they had add ons, etc...but none of that is illegal and I know the only way I can get my friend out of this deal is if they did something illegal.

    So I look at his finance application that my friend signed, it correctly listed his income. Which turned a light bulb on in my head.

    No bank is going to approve someone for a $795 car payment if they are only making $1,200 a month. It does not make mathematical sense to do that. So I start searching through his paperwork for the finance app the dealer submitted to the bank.

    You often times when you submit a finance application at a dealership the dealership will take the hand filled out application and reproduce it electronically. This is pretty normal.

    However on the application the dealer submitted to the bank the dealer said my friend was a GM of the McDonalds and made $70,000.

    My friend had good credit, so it doesn't appear like the bank asked for proof of income.

    So I go to the dealership with my friend and tell the sales manager he's going want to put me in touch with the GM because we are going be unwinding my friends deal and giving his trade in back. The sales manager thought I was joking, the GM also thought I was joking.

    Then I demonstrated how his dealership finance department committed bank fraud. I showed the GM the finance app my friend filled out. I then showed the GM the finance app his dealership submitted to the bank and pointed at the income difference. My friend really made $14k a year, the dealership claimed my friend made $70k a year. That's bank fraud, that's a felony, lets keep this simple shall we.

    The GM sees his dealership is in a load of shit. The proof I am presenting to him is rock solid. He knows it, I know it, we are all on the same page.

    He goes "ok...so what can I do to make this right?" I go "Unwind the deal give me my friend his trade in back"

    Unwinding the deal is basically the GM agreeing to cancel the deal, and basically erasing the deal and pretending it never happened.

    GM tries to avoid that but I remain firm and remind him we can take easily take this documentation and turn his life in a living hell. He knows i'm right. My friend also needs a car to get to work the next day.

    The GM says he'll check into it he comes back and tells me unfortunately they sold his trade in already. I said "That's fine, unwind the deal and lets put my friend into something as good or slightly better then what he traded in for"

    So the GM goes "So he'll buy a car similar to his trade in?" I said "No, you'll give him a car similar to his trade in" the GM goes "It doesn't work that way" I go "It does when you commit bank fraud" Gm is upset with me and I remind him...I'm being really nice and this situation can totally get really ugly. Like felony level charges ugly. Like losing your franchise ugly. SO yea this is going hurt...but it's going hurt less my way.

    So the GM goes alright and he looks in his inventory and he tells me they have a 2007 Focus with 10k more miles. I tell him "no, the car you give my friend needs to be the same or better then what he trade in" the GM counters "i'm giving him a free car" and I go "no, you took his trade in, you sold it, you made money on that sale, you also committed a felony in the process of selling him his new car, you are now correcting that mistake, this isn't a free car for my friend, this is a you are correcting your mistake"

    GM insists that's what he's willing to do I tell him if he can't do better then that we will go to a consumer protection attorney and have a conversation with them.

    My friend didn't wanna go this route...but it was our plan B.

    We get to get up, the GM says "Wait' give me a second"

    The GM goes "I have a 08 civic, it has 5k more miles, but its a civic and not a focus. I unwind the deal on the new car, and put your friend in the civic at no extra cost"

    We agree

    GM has the paper drawn up, the old loan on the new car is canceled, they take in the new car again (but because it's already titled they'll have to sell it as used, that sucks for them) and they gave my friend a better car then the one he traded in.

    For people asking why we didn't get a lawyer involved from the start

    We could have done that

    But courts take a long time, and this was a faster way to fix the situation.

    06:09 UTC


    Terrorize my family? Enjoy losing everything and going back to jail

    M Wife douchebag Entitled woman Entitled woman 2

    Hello, this is a long post so buckle up for the ride!

    Myself and my wife had just had our second child and moved into a duplex in an amazing neighborhood, had its own playground even! We moved in and greeted the neighbors, bunch of younger people but they seemed okay. The first day after moving in we find that they're gone and they're left their 7 year old (on a school day) outside our door with a bag of goldfish and a note asking us to watch him while they went out, queue cps call #1. The neighbors and me got along really well old guy next door repaired bikes for a hobby and the next door neighbor did wood working and would always come over to see the kids and sent his grand kids over to play to.

    They warned us that our upstairs neighbors were trouble, constant traffic going in and out and parties every single night. This was 110% the truth, it got to the point we couldn't sleep at night and we had multiple altercations to the point it was full blown yelling matches. The landlord was useless and would do nothing to get rid of them so I bided my time, eventually one night they came home in their red Mazda 3 and it was destroyed, they must have hit someone and ran, so I called the RCMP to let them know as at the very least I figured they'd get in deep shit but oh man I had no idea what I had just unleashed, turns out the douchebag had a warrant out for his arrest for drug trafficking, he got hauled away in cuffs that night and entitled woman 2 got a visit from CPS again as they left their son home alone again this wasn't once or twice it was every. Single. Day.

    So my wife went digging for names and found the mother on Facebook, using public record searches we found out that they owed easy home nearly 48k in assets as they had taken off from the original address with all of their furniture including tvs and a huge sound system, 48 hours later the sherrif was there with a box truck emptying their house. Took the beds, couches, tvs, the annoying sub woofer system, kitchen set and even the dressers. CPS came shortly after and removed the child from the house, I didn't enjoy seeing him taken away but they never fed him and he was always in the same clothing and it was falling apart (we went out of our way to make sure he had full meals when we could not gonna let a kid starve) the douchebag went to jail for drug possession (he was out on bail and hid the drugs in a dresser they took) entitled woman 1 went to jail for assaulting the sherrif and entitled woman 2 actually had a happy ending, far as I know after she lost her son she went through multiple programs to clean herself up and started working to provide for her son. Ran into her a couple years ago and she thanked me for what I did.

    I got pro revenge on the drug dealer and his girlfriend and thankfully helped someone get on the right path.

    23:00 UTC


    Brother Ruined My Wedding By Proposing So I Ruined His Proposal

    Throwaway Account

    I (35m) have a young brother "Todd" (29m) who had a complicated birth and had to stay a month in the ICU and because of that my parents have always doted on him and almost denied him nothing, even if it was to the detriment of my sister "Abby" (32f) and I. My brother drinks in on the attention and has on more than one occasion made himself the center of attention at either my, my sister's, or a cousin's special event.

    Because of this Abby and I have a strained relationship with Todd and our parents. Unfortunately, Todd met and fell in love with "Lucy" (24f) who announced her own pregnancy at the baby shower my mom held for Abby.

    When I proposed to my wife "Michelle" (30f) I just wanted to elope but she really wanted her family to be there so I invited my family out of obligation. While out my best man "Jim" (35m) noticed a receipt from a jewelry store slipped out of Todd's pocket. Jim confronted Todd about this which led to an argument. Jim told me everything and I told Todd that he was no longer going to be a groomsman because I knew he was going to propose at my wedding. Todd cried to our parents and which led to a blow out.

    In my parents' eyes, since Todd never admitted that he was going to propose to Lucy at my wedding I was unfairly judging him. I refused and brought up Todd's past behavior. My parents couldn't refute this and got Todd to agree to not try anything at my wedding. This wasn't enough to convince me to let him be a groomsman but I warned him that if, as a guest, he'd try anything I would make him regret it. Fast forward to the wedding and surprise surprise Todd walked over to Lucy and proposed to her during Michelle's father-daughter dance and did it in a way so that EVERYONE would notice.

    Cue my revenge, Jim and I had hired a woman to pretend to be Todd's side piece who cornered Todd and Lucy and claimed that she was pregnant with his baby. Todd denied this but when she called his phone, I gave her his number and messed with Todd's phone to incriminate him, it didn't look good. Lucy threw the ring back at Todd and left in tears.

    When Todd saw the smile on my face he knew that it was me and I didn't respond to a single call/text from him or my parents until after the honeymoon. Lucy has thrown Todd's stuff out and has been denying access to their kid. Todd is furious and is demanding that I clear his name. I sent him a text saying that I had no idea what he was talking about as well as a screenshot of a bill for the wedding and gave a vague message demanding reimbursement for half of the wedding costs. Michelle knew the whole time what I was planning and gave me the green light after Todd ruined her moment with her dad, so I felt pretty good but now even Abby thinks I went too far.

    23:49 UTC


    It is a really bad idea to make a government employee angry

    This one is a double government employee event and what you should know is if you get the attention of a government employee and make them angry they will make your life a living hell. Sorry this is a long one.

    The setup is that I was working for a local county government in the permitting department that handled drainage and flood plain enforcement. I received a complaint from a homeowner (nice guy) lived next door to a house that was part of an incorporated village (not nice guy). Nice guy lived in an unincorporated portion of the county and hence the call to me as an agent of the county. I drove out to the site and to investigate and discovered some interesting facts. The permitting agent for the village allowed the incorporated homeowner to fill his lot effecting the drainage which caused the unincorporated lot to flood every time there was anything more than light rain. Nice guy indicated that there was some tension between him and not nice guy and part of the issue was that nice guy and his partner were a gay couple. This ran up a red flag for me but in trying to be impartial I took the information and some photos for the file and indicated that I would contact the village to find a resolution.

    I wrote a letter and then called the village inspector (jackwagon) to discuss. I was told by jackwagon that the village could do as it pleased and that I could do nothing to stop not nice guy from doing as they pleased as it was approved by the village. There was then a comment about those type of people (the gay couple) making complaints just to cause trouble. I was now on the case and it was time to make sure everything done on the incorporated lot was 100% legal. At this point the game certainly was now on because if there is one thing that grinds my gears it is bullying.

    I went back out and spoke to nice guy to let them know what I was up to and also that I was not going to let this slide. I then started investigating the elevations on the two lots and what fill had been placed on the incorporated lot. The not nice guy came out and started getting belligerent about my presence and ongoing investigation. He incorrectly stated that I did not have jurisdiction over his lot and that he would be calling the police. I patiently listened and then pulled out my two way radio and requested that the home base dispatch both a village and a county police unit to the location. I then indicated that since there was a regulatory floodplain on his lot I did in fact have jurisdiction and that I would be exercising my right to determine the impact of his fill activities upon that floodplain.

    Both of the police units showed up and I let them know what was going on. They were both appropriately agitated to have to waste their time and let not nice guy know that I was within in my authority to proceed with the investigation. A little while later, while I was measuring things, jackwagon showed up. He stated berating me about harassing the village resident and threatening calling my boss and filing a complaint and so forth. I invited him to do so quoting which parts of the code he should indicate I was violating. I was using marking paint to show the limits of the floodplain for the photos for the file and what do you know jackwagon’s shoe got painted when he tried to stop me. Obviously he was even more angry as was the homeowner due to very bright orange paint in the grass in his yard. I pointed out I had done the same on the neighboring lots but they just kept complaining. It was actually marking chalk that comes off pretty easily.

    Interestingly, I found two really wrong things on not nice guys lot: (1) there was fill placed in the floodplain and (2) a garden shed was built on the fill and partially within the floodplain. Both are a big no-no and are actually against federal law. So, the course of action had two parts: (1) make the incorporated homeowner remove the fill and shed from the floodplain and (2) let nice guy place fill in their lot outside of the floodplain to counteract the fill remaining in not nice guys lot outside of the floodplain. I also told nice guy it would be a good idea to run a field tile on their side to drain the water that would inevitably pond up between the two lots when it rained.

    Predictably, not nice guy and jackwagon got super angry when I sent the letter out that there were violations that either had to be corrected (remove fill and shed) or apply for a revision of the floodplain with the Army Corps of Engineers (good luck with that). This then led to a meeting at the county office with not nice guy, jackwagon, my supervisor and myself. Quickly things went to 11 and there was yelling by jackwagon about abuse of power, etc. The department head came into the conference room and told them both they were wrong and that they should leave peacefully and comply or face the consequences (fines).

    The best part was that not nice guy had to apply for a permit and guess who was the one to review and approve it … that’s right yours truly. Now, I was following the letter of the law but you have to know that poor government workers are underpaid and overworked. Strangely the permit for nice guy was almost immediately approved while not nice guy had to have a very thorough review to ensure it was correct. You could make a case I was abusing my power but I can assure you that the timing for their review was well within acceptable limits. Also, how could I be held to account that they misfiled three times before they finally got it right. Generally, if you behaved like a civil human and came to the office we would help you get things done properly so the permit would go through first time but not nice guy decided he could do it all in his own so it took him three tries. Had he come to the office I would have given him the same service as others but he decided to take the hard route and therefore I didn’t give a single inch when it came to the submission being perfectly correct.

    Ultimately, the situation was resolved but it took a lot more effort than it should have. Moral of the story: don’t be an entitled homophobic asshole.

    19:51 UTC


    Cheat on me and brag to your friends? Enjoy Deportation

    I met this girl(22 at the time) while I(30m at the time) was working in a national park, and she was a housekeeper on a work visa. We instantly hit it off, and within a month we were in a relationship. We even had a solid long-distance arrangement, where we would visit each other on recreational visas in our respective off seasons - I'd spend a few months in Romania or meet her at some vacation destination, then she'd spend a few months in the states.

    This went on for about two years, and eventually the conversation came up with her family about possibly moving her to the states permanently - Romania never really recovered from the Ceausescu regime, and political/economic corruption makes life pretty unpleasant for a lot of people. Her marrying and moving to the US meant that her mom wouldn't have to worry about her daughter having a good life. I arranged for sponsorship, and proposed to her. It seemed like my dreams were coming true.

    Then, about a month after she's all settled in, I get a message from her best friend back home - what followed were a year's worth of screenshots wherein she bragged about conning me into paying for her residency, while she cheated on me with 8 different men. In her friend's words, "You are a good man and you don't deserve this".

    So, over the following two weeks, I reported her to ICE and homeland security for a conversation her brother and I had over a bottle at one point - he bragged about how he had done time in prison for smuggling weapons to Turkish terrorists, and how she had been his lookout on several occasions.

    As you might imagine in the "War on Terror" days, this was not taken lightly. She was immediately arrested and deported, and put on a permanent no-entry terror watchlist.

    Want to take advantage of me and cheat? Have fun never being able to come back to the states ❤️

    Edit to address potential misinformation on my part - I'm not very well versed in European sociopolitics, so I was under the impression that her past along with her brother's would result in as much difficulty as it did here. I was misinformed, so thanks to everyone who set the record straight as far as her job prospects overseas. :)

    16:42 UTC


    Military revenge, served hot

    Back in my Army days, I was once in command of a unit of about 80 soldiers in Hawaii.

    (Dialogue sections are the gist of what was said but it's been a minute so they're not exact. Names changed, etc.)

    TLDR: Soldier wants out of the Army. Commander agrees, pending good behavior. Soldier fucks around and ends up in the Brig before getting kicked out.

    Most of the soldiers in my command were great people, happy to do their jobs and take home a paycheck. Hard workers, creative, adaptable to unusual Army conditions, and generally reliable. But there was one who was trouble from the start. Gentle reader, meet Private Wiggles.

    My first awareness of Wiggles came 2 or 3 days after I'd taken over command of the unit. We're prepping for a month-long training exercise to Thailand and Platoon Sergeant Maggie tells me Wiggles might not be able to go as she'd just had an outpatient medical procedure. Departure is about a week away and I have to validate the personnel roster to make sure we've got logistical support for everyone we're bringing - transportation, food, lodging, etc., so I talk directly with Wiggles and ask if she's okay to travel and participate in the exercise. Wiggles says it's not a problem, she can handle it.

    We get to Thailand and set up camp on a Thai Army base. Two days in, and the medical section sends a runner to find me. Wiggles is at our medical clinic (tents with cots and surprisingly extensive medical supplies) laid out with extreme abdominal pain. I cruise over to the clinic tent and the Physician Assistant (PA) on duty tells me a couple things: Wiggles acknowledged recently having an abortion (the previously-mentioned outpatient medical procedure), and the PA's examination and testing shows that Wiggles has the single worst case of Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) he's ever seen. Seriously, this Army PA who has seen all sorts of crazy shit from soldiers was emphatically impressed by how bad it was. Wiggles developed PID from failing to get treatment for sexually transmitted infections for a long, long, long time. As in, she's almost glowing from it. No judgement on the abortion, not everyone is ready for kids . . . and the STI-induced PID can be treated with high-dose antibiotics (which the PA has on hand). Not a problem, we've got this covered.

    Wiggles is released to Sergeant (SGT) Deb, her section sergeant, who will make sure Wiggles takes her antibiotics and keep an eye on her for any further issues. SGT Deb finds me and First Sergeant (1SG) Bob about a day later and tells me two more things about Wiggles: she's refusing to take her antibiotics, and she wants to get out of the Army. I again talk with Wiggles:

    Me: So you want out of the Army? You know you have a couple years left on your contract, right?

    Wiggles: I know, but I'm just done being a soldier and I want to be out of the Army.

    Me: Okay, I can make that happen. You don't want to be here, then I don't want you here either. But here's the deal - you gotta play by the rules. I can get you out with an honorable discharge, and I'll start the paperwork as soon as we're back in Hawaii . . . but you need to take your antibiotics, do your job, and be where you're supposed to be. You do your part and I'll do my part for you. Sound good?

    Wiggles: Yep, I can do that.

    Spoiler alert: she couldn't do that. For the rest of the Thailand exercise, SGT Deb had to take control of Wiggles' meds and force her to take them . . . when she could actually find Wiggles, who consistently found someplace else to be. At one point in the next week or so, she accuses 1SG Bob of having sex with her - easily disproven as he doesn't have any STI's and Wiggles has all of them. She was just trying to stir up trouble with wild accusations, I guess.

    We get back to Hawaii and I start the process to get her out of the Army because as much as she's been a handful of trouble in Thailand, I'm thinking it's still easier at this point to kick her to the curb than it is to keep her around and punish her before kicking her out. I was wrong.

    Even as I start to work on her discharge, she ramps up the stupidity. Here are a few examples:

    - Wiggles gets caught drinking (only 19 years old).

    - Wiggles and her husband lie to the on-base housing office and provide forged authorization documents to get into rent-free on base housing that they didn't qualify for. (side note: Mr. Wiggles was no winner either - he was about to be dishonorably discharged from his Infantry unit for selling drugs to other soldiers)

    - Wiggles shows up at the infirmary to get treatment for facial bruising - Mr. Wiggles kicked her in the face (while wearing his combat boots) when Wiggles accused him of cheating on her.

    - Wiggles refuses to show up for work, or any unit formation, and can't be found anywhere for days.

    - Wiggles slashes all four tires on Mr. Wiggles' car, then attacks him with the knife when he confronts her. Military Police are called, end up taking him in when Wiggles gives a sob story. But he's the one with defensive wounds on his hands, not her.

    - One of my male sergeants uses my open-door policy to visit me one day: Tells me he saw Wiggles stripping at one of the skankier gentlemen's clubs down in Honolulu the night before, and she had also convinced one of our other female soldiers to come along with her to do the same.

    - Here's a weird one: I get a call from a temp agency asking me if it's okay for Wiggles to continue working (through them) as an administrative assistant for clients in town. Not uncommon for soldiers to have a second job . . . but with everything else she was up to at the time, this one just had me going "WTF?"

    There's more, but you get the idea. At this point, Wiggles' actions are egregious enough that I can no longer just kick her out with an honorable discharge. I put her on notice that she's at risk for a Court Martial. I thought that threat might keep her in line but she just couldn't seem to stop herself from getting stupider and stupider. It's the old 80/20 problem: 80% of your time is spent dealing with the 20% of your folks who are troublemakers. At this point I'm wasting a not-insignificant amount of time dealing with Wiggles' issues almost daily.

    I had genuinely and in good faith offered her the easy path, but I guess she figured she'd try to burn the place down on the way out since she apparently thought she was getting what she wanted no matter what she did. I was reminded of what my old Platoon Sergeant used to say when I was coming up through the ranks: You want to get stupid? Go ahead, but I can get stupider.

    Cue the revenge. She's causing me daily headaches so I'm going to bring the pain back to her. Honorable discharge paperwork is out the window, and I lean into the Special Court Martial process instead. My legal counsel tells me that Wiggles' activities are likely to get her a couple weeks confinement at most (maybe not even that), she may get a monetary fine, and she'll probably get an Other Than Honorable (OTH) discharge (potential for a Bad Conduct discharge, which are worse, but while her actions have been "not that good" they also are "not that bad". I'm rational enough to understand that).

    I have a brief chat with Captain (CPT) Morgan (Wiggles' military defense attorney) about where I'm going with this case. During our chat I try to be a gentleman and let him know that Wiggles is going to be trouble for him if he's not careful. He gives me a condescending "This isn't my first rodeo, Baka. I'm a big boy and can take care of myself." Fair enough, I tried to warn you . . .

    Normally, a soldier getting a Special Court Martial for piddly shit might get confined to the barracks, restricted to their on-base quarters, or something similar for the duration of the process. It's not like she killed someone, right? However, my military legal counsel drops this little gem in my ear: He tells me Wiggles has met all 5 of the conditions (danger to others, flight risk, etc.) required by military law (Uniform Code of Military Justice - UCMJ) to warrant requesting confinement prior to her trial. He tells me "If you can remember these 5 conditions and elaborate on the details at our next pretrial meeting with the military magistrate, you might be able to get her confined to the Navy Brig at Ford Island until the trial." I'm a guy who likes to pay attention to sound legal advice, so I do just as he says.

    A couple days later we go in for the pretrial meeting and I run down the list for the magistrate. Boom. Magistrate orders Wiggles to be confined in the Brig through the trial. 1SG Bob and Platoon Sergeant Maggie go to pick her up from her on base housing. She won't open the door, but they know she's inside because they can clearly hear her and Mr. Wiggles bangin' away. This is important for later. The Wiggles finish up, she takes her time getting showered and dressed, and finally comes to the door when it pleases her. Off she goes to the Brig.

    The pretrial processes take up the next four weeks. During that time, I have to deal with CPT Morgan, the paralegals in his office, and various fun things to do with her pending Court Martial. Other than that, it's blissfully peaceful. Wiggles chills in the Brig for four weeks (Seriously chills. Every time I had to visit it was freezing in there). I' required to make weekly "welfare visits" to see if she's being mistreated, if she has any needs that aren't being met, etc. Seems weird, but as her commander I'm still responsible to make sure the Brig staff aren't mistreating my soldier. Other goings-on in this time period:

    - Mr. Wiggles fraudulently applies for a car loan and gets a van in their names.

    - Mr. Wiggles is dishonorably discharged and kicked off the island. Flies home to wherever the hell he originally enlisted from.

    - CPT Morgan asks me to consider an OTH discharge and "time served" in lieu of taking things all the way to trial. I'm hot to get that pound of flesh from her, but my legal counsel advises me to avoid the Court Martial and just kick out Wiggles with the OTH discharge. "After all," he says "she's already been locked up for almost 3 weeks so the magistrate will probably just give her time served and the OTH anyway." See my earlier comment about sound legal advice.

    - My boss, Lieutenant Colonel (LTC) Ryan thinks I'm too invested in the case, that I'm no longer objective. LTC Ryan insists on coming with me to the Brig for the next welfare visit. This is three weeks into Wiggles' stay in those luxurious accommodations. Among other bullshit lines she throws at us, Wiggles tells us she needs to see the dentist about a filling that's giving her trouble, and "Motrin just isn't working." At the end of the visit, LTC Ryan tells the guards about Wiggles' filling, asks if they can give her anything stronger than Motrin, then instructs them to follow up with the dentist. Guard actually laughs out loud at this and says "No sir, Motrin is the best we can do in the Brig. And that other thing? For the last two weeks she's been telling anyone with ears that she wants to try getting her wisdom teeth pulled before she's kicked out. She doesn't have a problem with any fillings." It was hilarious to watch LTC Ryan's face go from obvious concern for Wiggles' well-being to outright fury, and the next words out of his mouth were "That bitch lied to me!"

    I make arrangements with CPT Morgan to accept his request for "Time served and OTH in lieu of Court Martial". Sometime later that week I get a call from the Brig: Wiggles is pregnant (remember the scene at her house 4 weeks prior?) and they can't keep her confined any more because of it. She has to be released back to her unit until the Court Martial (or other actions) are complete. CPT Morgan stakes his reputation on Wiggles being a good girl until we can send her back home to Carolina. He'll come to regret that, and he can't say I didn't warn him.

    We get Wiggles back from her 4-week all-inclusive stay in the Brig. I've accepted Captain Morgan's request to avoid the Court Martial and I confine Wiggles to the barracks under supervision for the 9 days she has left until her flight to Carolina. Immediately we have another shit-show:

    - Wiggles is smoking in the barracks (not a big deal that she's smoking, it's just not allowed inside barracks rooms).

    - Wiggles is caught with a bottle of Hypnotiq (liquor) in her barracks room (she's still only 19).

    - Wiggles slips out of the barracks and runs off for a day when her Platoon Sergeant gets distracted from supervising her.

    - 1SG Bob and Lieutenant (LT) Ricky (the Executive Officer) go to collect Wiggles' belongings from her on base housing so we can box it up and ship it to her home, and they find that Mr. Wiggles has left behind a bunch of stuff he stole from other Soldiers (body armor, military equipment) and some ammunition, smoke grenades, and explosives that he stole during trips to the range. All lined up right inside the front door where it's impossible to miss. They call me, asking what to do.

    Me: "Just collect it all, return the equipment to the Central Issue Facility and dump the ammo and explosives in the nearest "Amnesty Box". Mr. Wiggles obviously meant for Wiggles to take the fall for having it (husband of the year!). If we take that bait Wiggles will be here forever. I don't want that . . . do you?"

    LT Ricky: Nope, I don't want that either. It'll be like it never happened.

    In light of all this drama, I bring Wiggles in to my office to remind her of her agreement to be a good girl till she leaves the island (with LT Ricky as a witness in the office to protect my ass).

    Me: Wiggles, you're in violation of your release agreement from the Brig. You've been sneaking out of the barracks, you've been smoking and drinking . . . .

    Wiggles: (she cuts me off) Yeah, and doing all kind of drugs too . . . (heavy sarcasm voice)

    Me: . . . be that as it may, I'm giving you fair warning that you're at risk of losing the deal I made with CPT Morgan. Additionally, you're pregnant again. I'm not sure if you're aware of it, but most damage to a fetus from alcohol and smoking will come in the first few weeks after conception. I don't know if you're planning to keep this one or not, but at the rate you're going this baby's going to be born dumber than you.

    Wiggles: " . . . . ", " . . . . " gaping like a damn fish. <finally picks her jaw up off the floor>

    Wiggles then bolts from of my office and runs down to LTC Ryan's office at the other end of the building to squeal on me for insulting her, LT Ricky hot on her heels. She tries to rush into LTC Ryan's office, but LT Ricky gets in first and fills him in. LT Ricky tells me later how it went down: Wiggles is yelling about how I called her stupid (strangely vanilla thing to focus on considering everything she's done, but you do you) and that she's being mistreated. LTC Ryan yells at his admin to "Get CPT Morgan on the phone. Now!" He reams CPT Morgan for his client's jackassery, tells him to "fucking fix this", and makes various threats to CPT Morgan's career.

    About a half hour later I get a call from CPT Morgan:

    CPT Morgan: Baka, Baka, Baka, (yes, he did that whole patronizing bullshit) I can't believe the words I'm hearing from Wiggles. I'm shocked, just shocked, that you would use language like that and call her names . . .

    Side note: My mom is an attorney, and I grew up with tales from the courthouse about lawyers using exactly this sort of hyperbole: "Your honor, I'm shocked, appalled, and dismayed that opposing counsel would attempt to paint my client in such a light." It's the kind of bullshit they said when they didn't have a good argument. So as soon as I hear the word "shocked" I know I own him and immediately cut in.

    Me: . . . and I bet you're appalled and dismayed, too.

    CPT Morgan: (stumbling and sounding slightly confused) . . . well . . . yes, of course I am. You can't talk to soldiers like that. I know of a Lieutenant Colonel - a commander - who called one of her soldiers "stupid" and she's no longer in command now.

    Me: I didn't call her stupid. I informed her of basic biological facts. Not my problem if she takes the news poorly. And arguably, she's not all that smart. Anyway, you called me and I'm pretty sure it wasn't to warn me about what I said to Wiggles, so what do you want?

    CPT Morgan: What will it take to prevent you from kicking back our deal? (Apparently LTC Ryan had cinched his asshole up good and tight)

    Me: You could get her on a plane tomorrow.

    CPT Morgan: How about if I get her out of here by Friday? (It was Wednesday, and she was due to fly out the following Wednesday)

    Me: I don't think you can manage that, but good on you if you do.

    To his credit, CPT Morgan gets Wiggles a flight for Sunday - three days early. I print up official orders appointing LT Ricky as a military escort specifically for her. LT Ricky drives her to the airport and the airline desk agent calls me to verify his status when they get to the check-in counter. They give him a special pass to get through security with her. He stays with her at the gate to make sure she gets on (and stays on) the plane, then stays at the gate until the plane is in the air. Some boogers are hard to flick, we wanted to make damn sure this one landed someplace else.

    About a month later I get a call from the Military Police about a derelict van in the parking lot with all four tires slashed. Guess who that belonged to . . .

    It's really kinda sad when I look back on it. I had two other soldiers come to me at different points asking to get out of the Army ahead of their contracts. One just didn't want to be in the Army any more, the other did want to stay in the Army but had family issues that would be a lot easier to deal with as a civilian. They played by the rules and I got both of them out with Honorable discharges and all the benefits. They even qualified for unemployment. Too easy.

    Wiggles could've had the same treatment - I told her exactly what I could do for her, then had to shift gears and told her exactly what I was going to do to her . . . then I did it. I could've been her best friend on her way out the door but instead I ended up owning her and her dumbass defense attorney. She screwed herself out of transition benefits and access to the VA, and picked up a lifelong black mark for employment - all because she couldn't play nice for a few weeks. She decided she wanted to play fuckaround-fuckaround games, and we all know what happens next.

    04:44 UTC


    Crappy Bosses FAFO

    I had a job working warehouse/delivery for a store. The entire "corporate structure" was built on treating the people below you like shit, and that was passed down through every level. Managers would just bark orders and bitch you out for any reason they could think of. They paid about 25¢ over minimum wage, and the bosses drove BMWs and Mercedes. The Big Boss lived in an $8M house.

    Our store was the freight hub for four others in the little chain, so we got to know the drivers from the other stores well as they were always coming to load freight or drop stuff off. One day, we're sitting with two drivers from another store, and "Buddy" remarks that he and his partner are working over 60 hours a week. I say he must be doing okay with all that overtime pay. He says they're not getting OT, just paid a straight time rate. I ask him if he signed an averaging agreement, he says no. He shows me his pay stub, and there it is. His partner comes back and confirms all this, and they've been doing it for months. He'd asked his manager about OT, and been told that straight pay was just the way it worked. I tell them that's illegal, and urge them to take it to labour relations. They're reluctant to rock the boat, figuring they'll be fired. So I drop it. (We never got any overtime. Our warehouse was busy, our store was not.) A couple months later, they're in again, and Buddy's partner tells us he and his girlfriend are moving back east, and he's giving his notice. I tell him again to file a complaint; nothing to lose now. So he does.

    A few weeks go by, and when I come in one day, there are expensive boss cars parked all along the loading dock. My workmate says something big is going down. All the managers have been summoned, and are inside with a bunch of people in suits. So we wander upstairs to see what's going on. The company bookkeeper had an office in our store, and handled all the payroll. He was a Chinese immigrant, nice guy. The bosses were trying to pin this on him, saying he didn't speak English very well (which was true) and had obviously screwed everything up. Turns out he was a pretty cagey guy. He knew what they'd told him to do was illegal, and was able to produce all the records of him telling them that, and of them telling him to basically just shut up and do it. He hands it all over and quits.

    I see Buddy (with a new partner) a few weeks later. He's got a pay stub for about fifteen paychecks' worth of earnings. Company got caught for all the overtime pay and a pretty substantial fine on top of that. Added bonus: the second-in-command had driven over a nail when he parked his silver BMW on the loading dock and had a flat when he came out of the store. He opened his trunk and called me over and said, "Change that for me." I told him sorry, that's not my job and if I hurt myself, my compensation claim would be denied.

    As he went in to call a tow truck, I stood on the loading dock and gazed upon all the havoc I had wrought, and my heart was glad.

    19:38 UTC


    "I'll come back so long as Larry isn't there"

    Got permission to share this from my buddy who is a software engineer.


    To give you some background on my friend Tim (made up name) he has been programming since he was like 7 years old. Tim said by the time he got to college he breezed through most of his Comp Sci classes because a lot of the content they where covering he had already mastered years prior. Tim is an excellent programmer.

    Tims career has been quite successful, he's worked for Google, Facebook, Amazon, and finally a hedge fund. The story starts at the hedge fund.

    Tim works a lot with AI technology, and at this hedge fund he was the lead programmer manager who spear headed a effort to optimize their AI that helped them complete literally millions of trades a day. To say his work had a massive impact...was an under statement.

    All of this is going on with COVID19 in the background. Due to COVID19 they went to a work from home model. Where my friend Tim kept working. During the work from home, Tim was looking around his fancy $4,500 NYC apartment and wished for things like a yard, a heated pool, a nice three car garage, and not living in a high rise. It dawned on Tim that he could leave NYC.

    Tim moves to Michigan

    So Tim moved back to his hometown in Michigan, where he bought himself a really nice home with a heated pool, a three car garage, a nice yard, and guess what the yard had in it?

    A mother in love suite which was essentially a 2 bedroom, 1 bath second home on the property of his main home which he turned into his man cave. Its actually pretty sick.

    O yea and his mortgage payment WAS FAR LESS then his 4.5k a month rent. Like half...

    Tim spent the rest of his COVID19 work from home pounding out projects, etc...he never actually informed his employer on a official basis he moved...he just kept working. Then COVID19 "ended".

    COVID19 IS FINALLY OVER...Back to the office...or???

    Tim boss, Larry calls him up and goes "Alright Tim on Monday we are starting work back at the office" and Tim goes "Yea...about that I moved to Michigan" Larry is shocked and goes "You didn't even ask if you could do that?" and Tim basically said "I didn't know I needed your permission to move" in a sarcastic as fuck way.

    Larry insists that Tim needs to move back to NYC, or he won't have a place on the team. Tim says he's been doing the exact same work from home at a high level for the past year...he's willing to travel to NYC for a few meetings a year on his own dime, but he feels his quality of life is soo much higher outside of NYC he has no desire to live in NYC...to which Larry said if Tim doesn't have any desire to live in NYC then he has no desire to keep Tim employed.

    Now dear reddit, what do you think a talented senior programmer with over a decade of experience, who specializes in AI technology is going say to a response like that?

    If your thinking he quit, you'd be absolutely right he quit.

    Maintaining complex code can be hard

    Now anyone that has done any programming knows that sometimes the best person to maintain the code is the person who wrote the code. There's logic, there's thought processes, there's so much that goes into programming that can be so individualistic it can be hard for someone to take over a code base they didn't write.

    John (CEO) enters the the picture

    6 weeks goes by, when John calls Tim. John is the CEO of the hedge fund. John gets Tim to agree to consider coming back, so that's when John suggests they fly Tim to NYC and he sits down with John.

    Tim however flipped the switch and said "No, how about you fly out to Michigan and we discuss this?" Tim said he said that because he wanted to establish if he was going come back, it was going be him...working from Michigan, and if he was going talk his employment it was going be done in Michigan. John agreed, and two days later flew out to meet with Tim.

    Tim sits down and John says they really need him, because he provided a lot of value to the organization and the programing team is struggling. John offers Tim the opportunity to come back with a 20% pay cut (since he wont' be living in NYC and John called that a cost of living adjustment). To which John said "No, I want a 15% raise above what I was earning"

    John sits back and responds "The reason we pay what we pay is because we ask you to live in NYC and we understand thats an expensive city to live in" to which Tim says "You pay what you pay, and you pay it because I am worth it. If I wasn't worth what you pay, you wouldn't be paying me, now my first condition is if you want me back it'll be a 15% raise"

    John goes "And second?"

    "The second condition is I'll come back so long as Larry isn't there"

    John sighs "Your asking for too much" to which Tim goes "You don't need to bring me back if you don't want too, I'll be fine elsewhere" John goes "I'll talk to the partners" Tim says "My offer is good till Friday" John goes "What do you mean?" Tim says "Next Monday is when I'm going start looking for work, this offer is good until Friday" (It was Tuesday) John leaves.

    That Thursday the phone rings, its John.

    In Conclusion

    "Tim, we are transferring Larry to a different fund, he won't be working with you anymore and we are fine with giving you a 15% raise, can we send you an offer letter for you to sign?" Tim said "Of course, and Larry is really gone?" John goes "Yes, you will never need to interact with Larry ever again"

    That was at the start of this year, Tim hasn't been in NYC, hasn't heard from Larry, hasn't seen Larry on any communications, etc.

    05:19 UTC


    How I screwed over a racist, horrible, bigoted business owner and likely resulted in him going out of business faster.

    This occurred in a southern state (I won't mention the state...cause, well, you'll see :))

    I was an account manager for a digital marketing company. We sold lead generation services to business owners to generate leads. One of our key selling features was if you turned on call tracking numbers + recorded phone calls, we'd guarantee you X amount of leads based upon Y spend, and if we failed to meet that, you'd be entitled to partial, or if we really failed potentially full refund.

    Some things to know about advertising.

    CTN: Call tracking number. It's a unique number that's assigned to a certain point of advertising that consumers call. This number is only on that piece of advertising. It routes to the business line, and unless the consumer is very observant, they have no idea they are using a CTN.

    Call Recording: If you turn on CTNs, we can record the calls and store the audio on our servers. The business has to consent to this; also, when you call, you'll hear a message "This call is recorded for quality assurance" type message.

    Both those are REQUIRED to be eligible for our service guarantee.

    Story Time Part 1 The Lay Of the Land

    The business in question was a small dad and son contracting company with a couple employees. They primarily focused on smaller jobs such as windows, drainage, finishing, etc. Unfortunately, this business owner was a royal PITA. He went back years, and his account was filled with nothing but complaints.

    Also...there was a strong suspicion that he was racist because his last account manager was black. The business owner, who we will name Scott, REFUSED TO EVER meet in person with the previous manager...also I was white; he had no issues finding the time to sit down with me and tell me how shit our service is.

    Well, it's coming up to do contract renewal, and he says we aren't producing his leads, and he wants to put in a claim for failing to meet our service guarantee. I spoke to my manager about this, and he said he wants me to listen to his calls, write a detailed report, and present my findings to the manager. The manager is worried this may end up in court due to the dollar amounts involved.

    Nearly a whole working week of hours (I probably spent damn near 40 hours on this), and I wrote a detailed 24-page report outlining the results of our advertising.

    To say I shred this business owner business practices is an understatement. The report was a straight-up attack on his poor customer service skills, disorganization, inability to execute, and complete and total failure of anything resembling any sense of standard business practices that just make logical sense.

    I will share with you a few examples of the types of calls I listened to, small calls where multiple phone calls are truly epic in their total incompetence.

    Customer 1

    I was a small-time landlord who had 3 different properties that had received a quote from Scott for work. The landlord had accepted Scott's quote and agreed to do business. In one voicemail message offered to pay a deposit to start work.

    Throughout 4 voicemail messages, this poor landlord went from "Hey, I wanna pay you" to "Are you ok?" to "Why the fuck aren't you returning my calls."

    Yes, I said voicemails. Scott had gone out to this man's properties, quoted his pricing, and then straight up refused to do anything more. Why? I legit got no idea.

    I called the customer in question and said I was the quality assurance agency and was doing a survey on Scott's performance. The guy ended up paying Scotts competitor about 15% more to do the work and was utterly beside himself on why Scott ignored him. I was also confused.

    FYI all my calls were recorded and put into the company records.

    Customer 2

    This one in particular really pissed me off. Again, the public housing office called Scott to get a quote on work that involved 25 different homes. Scott was kind enough to answer the phone this time (which, ironically...was one of the FEW FUCKING TIMES HE EVER ANSWERED THE PHONE). Initially, Scott sounded happy to get such a big profitable job.

    Then Scott learned two things.

    • It was Section 8 housing
    • It was a neighborhood that was black/Hispanic

    Immediately upon learning this, Scott informed the housing office that, unfortunately he's super booked (not true) and that this area is actually out of his service area (not true); the housing office was confused and was like, "So your not interested in biding?" and Scott said "no, I'm not" and hung up.

    He didn't even say goodbye. So I did a quality assurance call to the housing office, and the lady was completely confused why Scott wasn't even remotely interested in the job. Luckily for Scott, the lady didn't connect that Scott was a racist cunt cause discrimination against a protected class is a crime.

    Customer 3

    It was an overseas phone number from Japan. A service member stayed up late to call Scott during his business hours. This person told Scott he was deployed overseas. Still, over the weekend, someone broke into his home back in the states (where Scott operated out). He was trying to arrange for a new door...he mentioned this was an emergency as his wife was being forced to stay a hotel.

    Scott never returned his calls nor made any effort to contact him on the email he provided, no called the wife, who was local. It was a super, easy job that Scott could have done in about an hour or so and made a solid profit.

    I think that's enough examples

    Part 2 Review & Plan

    The actual report at the end said out of the X phone calls, Scott failed to properly service the leads in about 70% of the cases and that I could keep on going on. Still, I felt X number I felt a clear trend had been established. It wasn't that our service wasn't producing leads for Scott; it was that Scott was a racist, bigoted cunt, who everyone fucking hated. Obviously, I said that in more professional language.

    When I presented the report to my manager, he looked at it and went, "Damn...24 pages..." I asked if it was fine, and he smiled and said "I got a pretty good idea of what this going to say"

    He said he'd review it and get back to me. So a day later he came to me and said he'd gone over the report, the VP had gone over the report, and he asked what I thought the recommended course of action should be.

    My recommendation? Remove all discounts, charge Scott total price for our services, and clearly explain our job is to provide him with LEADS, it's his job to SELL those leads. If he can't convert our leads into business, that's not our problem. Scott was getting a 70% discount. Our price was built with discounts in mind. My manager was like, "He'll probably cancel," and I asked my manager, "And is that a problem?" If Scott was going remain my client, he was going pay dearly for that privilege. If he wasn't willing to pay, I was happy to let him walk.

    My manager smiled and said, "Nope"

    Part 3, the meeting

    My manager and I called Scott and arranged a meeting. I created a PowerPoint summarizing my findings. About a 1/3 of the way, Scott gives in and tells me to get to the point. I knew this was going be a heated meeting so I wanted my manager present both as support and a witness.

    So I explain that it's our job to bring him leads, it's his job to sell them. His failure to do that is not our problem. He gets irritable and pissy, and my manager backs me up. He goes, "Fine I'll renew my contract at the same rate," to which I go "yea...you see, you didn't let me get to that part; we have new pricing for you"

    Scott goes "lower?" I go "O no, not lower" my manager smirked, Scott asked me for the new rate.

    I hit him at the full rate, which was 3x what he was paying. Scott is furious with me, says I'm overcharging him, says I'm ripping him off, says I'm a horrible salesperson, he tells my manager I should be fired for treating him like this. My manager looks at me and I had been waiting for the moment. Truth be told I gave zero fucks what Scott thought of me, if anything my goal was to get him to cancel.

    "Scott your a challenging client, therefore the pricing of our service needs to reflect the challenge of providing you service, so we will be charging you our full rate. If you like I'd be happy to go over why this ROI still makes sense based upon our past performance" This was wording I had gone over with my management before using it, my manager felt it was fine. It felt so amazing so say those words. It was the nicest way I could say "Your a cunt, if I'm going work with you, its gotta be worth my while"

    Scott says we are a bunch of greedy fucking pricks. He says, "I'm going cancel" to which I said, "That is an outcome we have decided is acceptable if thats what you choose to do" Scott huffs and goes "And what about my refund?"

    Dismayed I go "Scott, we've clearly demonstrated we did our part, the reason why you aren't bring in sales is because of your company inability to close on the leads we generate" To which Scott goes "So your saying I don't know what I'm doing?" to which I say "Scott...if you agree to sign at the new rate I'd be happy to sit down with you and help you free of charge on how to improve your sales techniques and close more your leads" (This is me telling him he doesn't know how to run his business, and was very much meant as an insult)

    Scott goes "Nah fuck you I'm calling my lawyer" I go "So I take your not going renew?" he goes "Fuck no" my manager goes "That's fine, would you like us to email you our report on your leads?" Scott goes "Sure I'll show my lawyer" (FYI we never heard from Scotts "lawyer")

    We wish Scott a good day and he leaves. Later we wrote him an email, attached the report, and also told him if his lawyer would like the recording in question we can send that file over as well. Our bases where covered, and we knew it...I suspect he also came to the same realization but he had too much pride to admit that.

    Part 4, Make Sure That Dagger is Nice and Deep

    A few weeks go by, my manager says we gotta shut down his account so I need to to call him and ask him what he wants to do with his CTN numbers which we control. In our contract, we say at the end of the agreement the customer has the right to have the numbers ported over, for a fee. Its would have been normal to waive the fee as a gesture of goodwill, but Scott desired zero goodwill and he received what he desired.

    I tell my manager there's no way I'm porting the numbers for free, and just like his quote I'm charging him full rate $15 an number. The total came out to just a bit over $100.

    So I call Scott, I get his voicemail, but he doesn't answer. I write him a registered letter and in that letter I outlined he has 30 days to respond, we have his CTNs and if he's willing to pay a $15 per number port fee we will transfer those numbers over to his phone provider.

    One morning I woke up to about a dozen hateful text messages in which Scott told me to go fucking burn in hell. I took that to mean that Scott was not interested in porting over his numbers, and I reviewed those texts with my manager. We saved those messages, and uploaded it to his account.

    So...is that all?

    Of course not :)

    Part 5 But wait theres more

    So here I was with 7 CTN numbers that had been in service for literally years. Those 7 numbers where saved in Scott customers phones and to many of Scotts customers those numbers where Scotts number. Obviously they wouldn't be advertised to anyone, but that doesn't mean they won't produce phone calls. Now if I just let the numbers die...the customers will call and simply be told "this number is no longer in service"

    Now I'm not entirely sure if what I did was legal, but its been quite a few years so I feel comfortable about introducing you to Bobby.

    Bobby was another a southern boy, but as much of an asshole that Scott was...Bobby was a sweetheart. His mama would bake me pies for our meetings, he was a complete joy to work with. Bobby also owned a similar business to Scotty, but Bobby's business was more advanced, did more types of jobs, and also serviced the same area. So I submitted a service request to port all of Scott 7 CTNs to Bobby account, and I waived the fee.

    So all of a sudden hundreds of Scotts customers would think they where calling Scott, but they'd get Bobby. Bobby had all his call routed to his sectary Ashley who was an angel. Ashley was also a wickedly talented sales woman and I know for a fact she'd be able to take Scotts clients and convert them for Bobby.

    So thats what I did, I had those 7 CTNs ported over to Bobby. This did a few things that benefited nearly everyone involved

    • Bobby got more business
    • I produced more leads for Bobby, which means Bobby was comfortable with spending more money with me, which meant I made more money
    • Scott old customers got better service

    Part 6, Capitalize On My Revenge

    At the next performance meeting with Bobby, Bobby was very pleased with the sudden uptick in new customers. He even asked me "What did you do to my account?"

    I smiled and said, "I reviewed your account and made a few tweaks, have you seen any improvement?" He absolutely did! He asked me "Did this cost me anything extra?" i go "nope"

    he ended up increasing our spend with us by about 40% on additional services.

    I googled Scott business about a year later...he wasn't in business anymore...wonder why?

    No, my company never caught onto me porting over the numbers, I strongly suspect our legal department would not have been pleased.

    TL:DR proved to my client I was providing value, declined his compensation, jacked his prices up, and sent his customers to his competitor, and he went out of business.


    I did minor formatting, and broke the story up into smaller parts to make it an easier read since I know this is quite long.

    11:51 UTC


    Pay Your Tattoo Artists.

    Obligatory mobile user/not me, someone I know.

    This happened when I was young, heard it secondhand from my grandmother, who the main character of the cast lived with at the time.

    My uncle's ex-girlfriend was an all around horrible person. Abusive babysitter, got my uncle into bad crowds and legal trouble, and dabbled in so many substances from A to Z. She was also heavily tatted.

    There was an artist, the star of the story, who was a family friend. Great dude, insane work. She asks him to do a piece for her. Huge, intricate angel wings (oh, the irony) across her back. He agrees.

    It takes several sessions across weeks. She repeatedly has to postpone payment, but he's chill, family friend, Yada Yada. Until it comes to the last session, when it slips that she still doesn't have the money, and more importantly, WON'T have the money. Like, ever.

    Now, the pro revenge.

    No collection agency, no refusal to continue. He smiles, waves it off, says he'll finish up. No charge. It's gonna be a great piece. Legendary. One for the history books, he guarantees. She's stoked.

    So right between those gorgeous wings, right up her spine, this idiot now has a massive veiny male appendage proudly standing at attention up her spine. She saw it in the mirror when he finished and she was LIVID.

    But hey, what's she gonna do? She didn't pay him, and wasn't going to pay him, and expected hours and hours of work. You give a lot of trust to someone when they take a needle to your skin to lay down something permanent.

    Don't stiff your artists.

    08:52 UTC


    Park your car in a danger zone. Good luck to find it back.

    Compulsory : not US, not English speaker, not my story, 90’s, edit for typo.

    This is the story of Mike. Mike managed the warehouse of a hospital. Said hospital was build in the 50’s in the center of the town. The stadium is on one side, the justice hall in another and schools on a third side. there is also a casern and two other medical buildings around. So the streets are crowded with cars searching for a parking.

    One day, when opening the gate of the landing dock, Mike noticed a little car parked in the hospital internal court, near the 2000L liquid oxygen tank. that model of tank.

    Of course it is absolutely forbidden, because :

    1. This is a private property
    2. The court has been planned before 35T truck was the norm and maneuvering is already difficult, and
    3. Liquid oxygen is explosive : a car or a truck hitting the tank would be a major hazard.

    It was a small Italian car. No advertissement. but it was the kind commonly used as second car or to travel in the dolomite mountains where the roads are very narrow.

    So Mike makes some calls. The car is not owned by someone of the warehouse or the nursing staff. No doctor have such a small car. The reception made public announcements asking visitors to move the badly parked car, to no avail. By 18h, the car is gone. Ok, problem solved.

    The day after, the car is there yet.

    Same calls with same result. Mike called the police. But the police cannot make it towed because it is a private place. And towering company won’t do it without a police query. By chance, that day only lorries came to unload medical materials. When it is time to close the warehouse, the car is gone once more.

    On the third day, when the landing dock open, the car is already there. And now that is a real problem. A 35T truck from Germany must come this day. There is no way it can reach the dock without tilting the car and the liquid oxygen tank. It has become a clear and present problem of security.

    All the warehouse team exchanged ideas on what to do, but all feasible solutions have already been tried. It is when someone from maintenance team passed on a forklift with a pallet of plaster bags. It struck everybody at the same time : there is no way the Italian car could weigh more that 1 ton of plaster. So Mike go see the forklift driver while the team search for a wood pallet.

    Slowly, with many precautions, the forklift slided the pallet under the car, lift the whole, and went drop the car off the nearby street. In the first ten minutes, the police is warned that a car is parked in the middle of the street blocking the traffic. The said car is towed away in less than a half-hour. The truck had no problem maneuvering.

    Two days later, rumors ran the hospital : it was the car of the director’s wife. She worked in a medical building some streets away. While everybody found that Mike made a good move, they wait to see what will follow. It is now a global problem of management.

    Mike is called to the direction. As soon as he passed the door, he started to explain “yes. I know it is your wife’s car. But…”. The director went “What ? No ! I called you for an entirely other matter. I warned my wife several times. She had it coming, that c*nt”.

    Until the hospital closed 20 years after, the story has been repeated to each new worker and each medical student. Put your car on a tree if you want. But don’t park in the landing dock court. Because Mike will make it disappear.

    12:14 UTC


    Topsy Turvy

    Reposting my story originally submitted to r/suddenlysugardaddy

    I started dating a girl about 7 years ago. When we met she was getting up on her feet and trying to find her way in life. I let my imagination take over and started envisioning her potential and what kind of life we would have together. I had never had the feeling of disarmed punch-drunk love that I had for her, and that probably clouded my judgement.

    Throughout our time together she would reach out and ask for money for things… repairing a car, paying a bill, etc. We were getting closer the longer we dated, and I would always help her assuming that I was making an investment in both of our lives by helping her through a period of instability. In all I probably gave her about $15K.

    After about 4 years of this I finally popped the question. She accepted and we were married after a brief engagement.

    About 6 months into our marriage she told me she had been having car trouble and needed about $2K for the repair. This struck me as a bit odd…. By that time I was more than familiar with her vehicle and knew her explanation for what the issue was didn’t make sense. One evening after she went to sleep I went and had a look at the part of the car she had said was faulty. No issue. This set off alarms.

    I grabbed her phone and, on a hunch, typed in the amount she had asked for and it returned a text message with a guy she had previously dated. Apparently he had reached out and asked for help repairing his car, and lo and behold he had asked for the same amount she had requested from me.

    My stomach turned as the thought entered my mind that maybe I had subsidized other of this guy’s expenses across the time I had dated my wife. As I read through the messages further I realized that this guy was the Lester Diamond to my Sam Rothstein, and I had been played like a fool. (Look up that reference if you’re not familiar.)

    I had spent my entire relationship as a proxy sugar daddy.

    I thought on this for a few weeks and tried to figure out what to do next. These sacrifices were not insignificant to me… I had been working as a surgical resident for much of our courtship making very little money and working long hours to form a strong, solid foundation for our future. This was devastating, and I realized that I couldn’t reconcile the situation.

    Once I had cooled down I waited for an evening my wife went to bed early and I got into her phone. I caught up on the most recent messages she and her paramour had sent one another. Then I initiated a conversation with him. I posed as her and told him she had been drinking (she is a recovering alcoholic) and that she needed to get some things off her chest. I didn’t go overboard, but I did send messages to the effect that she was not over him and that her affections had grown since marrying me. I all-but tee’d him up to move in for a relationship with her. I then abruptly ended the chat and asked that we not talk about the conversation again in order to avoid furthering her relapse, but that we both keep in mind what we had spoken about and see if we could make a life together work.

    I then deleted the texts from her phone and hoped the two would proceed forward together. They did.

    I kept an eye on the texts for the next few months and progressively saw things heat up between them until it looked like she was committed to leaving me. We didn’t have many assets together at the time as I was still finishing a surgical residency, so I knew the divorce would be quick and painless and that we would go our separate ways and she would start a new life with the guy whose underachievements I had been funding.

    So I filed for divorce and had her served papers. I was generous with the $10K in assets between us in order to make the split as quick as possible and went on our ways to begin life anew.

    And you’d think that is the end of the story, right? Oh no, friend… you see, Mama didn’t raise a cuck.

    In our state, not only are assets separated upon marital severance, but so are debts. And medical school is fucking expensive… really expensive… a quarter of a million dollars expensive.

    So, the bitch ended up with a parting gift of about $125,000 of my student loans.

    And guess who she shotgun-married two months after our divorce?

    Fortunately for her she’ll only have to pay half of that amount, because if history does indeed repeat itself, he’ll be paying the other half once their marriage ends as well.

    It was all I could do to not send them a piggy bank as a wedding gift.

    Best $15K I ever spent.

    00:14 UTC


    No show to a corporate meeting? We'll see about that. . .

    I'm not sure if this belongs here at ProRevenge or in a different Reddit sub (please let me know if it does,) but here it is anyway:

    The cast (note that none of these names are real, they're all pseudonyms to meet guidelines):

    Brooke - My sister
    Angie - Accounting Girl
    Mark - Milquetoast Boss
    Victor - Vice President of Operations

    This story is about my sister's first job after graduating from college with a Bachelor's degree in Business Management back in the middle '70s. She was hired by that recording tape company who's advertising tag line was "is it real, or is it?" Anyway, her job was the travel coordinator for both the sales and tech support teams out in the field to come to the corporate offices periodically for various types of meetings or training, depending on the field employee's specialty. Brooke's responsibilities included booking airline flights, hotels, rental cars, approving per diems, and other travel-related upfront arrangements. It didn't take her long to figure out that there were a lot of no-shows, particularly from the sales staff, who always seemed to have some valid excuse not to make it to the meeting, and often with last minute cancellations - you know, the "I've just booked this golf game with my most important client this week, so can you reschedule me?" type of reasons.

    Seeing how these cancellations were costing the company big bucks, Brooke hatched a plan that created class rosters for each class, and would, just like a teacher, make notes as to who showed up and who didn't. After the class was over, she would calculate how much those who didn't show up had cost the company in terms of cancellation fees, missed flights, etc., and present them to Mark. His reaction, typical of a middle manager protecting his little fiefdom, would take her report, tell her "I'll look into it," throw it into his In box and then promptly forget about it. My sister has a tremendous amount of patience, unless you're being stupid, which, in this case, Mark was, as far as she was concerned.

    Fast forward a couple of months, the reports are still stacked on top of each other in Mark's In box, and Brooke's getting real frustrated because these field guys are abusing the time and effort she's putting in while attempting to get them in for their required classes. So one day, Brooke's having lunch in the company cafeteria along with a gal from corporate accounting. They get to talking, and Angie mentions that she's noticed the travel department's expenses are really high, percentage-wise, compared to others, and asks if Brooke has any idea why. Well, that was all it took, my sister unloaded her frustration with all the cancellations with no repercussions thus sending the travel department's budget off the charts, not to mention the fact she wasn't getting any support from Mark towards reducing the numbers. Brooke tells Angie she's got an idea to put an end to the waste, but she want's to get approval from somebody higher up the food chain in order to implement her idea, because she doubts Mark's ability to comprehend, let alone implement. Angie tells Brooke that she thinks she knows exactly who Brooke needs to talk to, and within a couple of days Brooke and Angie are sitting in a plush corner office talking to the Vice President of Operations, Victor, explaining the situation. It only took Victor a couple of minutes to make a decision after Brooke described what was going on, plus her idea on how to correct it, and he told Angie that Brooke's idea was brilliant, and that the policy change would become effective on the first of month - 10 days later - which he followed up with a memorandum sent to all employees shortly after their meeting was over.

    Paydays were the 5th and the 20th. Those in the field who had expense accounts had to complete and turn them in to Accounting by the 5th to be processed and paid along with regular wages, bonuses and commissions on the 20th. Brooke's policy change idea, with the Victor's blessing, was to charge back against the offender's expense account the costs associated with getting him to his corporate meeting when he didn't show up (airline fares, hotel rooms, rental cars, etc.) Sis told me that the first month the policy went into effect, the howls of protest could be heard all over Silicon Valley, as several ended up with minuscule paychecks after the charge backs. But the policy had exactly the results Brooke wanted - within three months, everyone showed up to their meetings on time as scheduled and virtually without any more no-shows.

    EPILOGUE: Some adjustments were made to the policy during sis's tenure, one of them being that if you knew in advance that you couldn't make a scheduled meeting, as long as it was a minimum of two weeks notice, she could then reschedule w/o penalties. Other situations, such as medical emergencies, were judged on a case-by-case bases, but required documentation to prevent the charge back. Sis only worked at this company about 18 months before a headhunter stole her away to be the plant manager's Administrative Assistant when the microchip manufacturer that's in practically everybody's personal computer decided to build a new facility outside of Silicon Valley. She told her new boss she wasn't moving unless he could find her husband a job within the company, and he did, so they did, and they've been in that area ever since. My sister has had a great career, and I'm very proud of her.

    EDIT TO ADD CLARIFICATION (per my sister's input):

    1. Meetings/Trainings were held bi-monthly. But with sales and tech support staff spread over three continents, it would often take a year before the same employee would be required to come to a meeting/training at corporate headquarters.

    2. Employees were initially notified of their upcoming meeting six weeks in advance, with a second notice going out at four weeks, a third notice going out at two weeks, and a fourth notice going out one week in advance. Brooke did NOT tolerate the excuse "I didn't know about the meeting" from the slackers. She still doesn't tolerate that type of excuse to this day - even from her grown children! She has a reputation for being scrupulously honest and fair, but also believes in the consequences of "play stupid games, win stupid prizes" when it comes to shenanigans.

    3. She was given a travel budget to work with, and, because her and I both are offspring of a Certified Public Accountant, we learned very early in life to pay close attention to expenses. This background helped her spot the escalating travel costs due to cancellations, no refund policies, etc. due to the no-shows, thus leading to her motivation to bring her department's budget back in line. She's always been very conservative about money management, which has lead to her and her husband being able to enjoy retirement without financial worries.

    4. Brooke did not teach any of the meeting/training seminars. Her duties at these events consisted of making sure the facilities were set up appropriately for the type of class, checking participants in, and other, similar tasks. Actual seminars were taught by corporate training staff.

    5. As noted in the original story, sales staff were the worst offenders when it came to no-shows. Tech support people were rarely missing in action, per Brooke. The golf reference was simply an example of the type of excuses used for not attending that she would receive.

    6. It should be noted again that the charge backs for not showing up when scheduled were not deducted from the employee's basic wages and commissions, they were simply charged back to the employee's submitted expense reports. By not showing up, the employee was stealing from the company the costs of getting that employee to corporate headquarters. This policy change put an end to that quickly.

    7. Also, as noted in the introduction, I don't really know if this belongs in this Reddit sub. If it belongs elsewhere in another work-related sub, I would be grateful for suggestions.

    10:36 UTC


    Company fucks over long-term employees and my boss's act of revenge helps me start a freelance media company for pennies on the dollar.

    Attention: All forms of Media outlets, I DON'T GIVE PERMISSION TO POST THIS STORY. NONE. This includes websites, blogs, social media, radio, podcasts, print news, and ANY form of transmission on ANY digital platform. This includes all news outlets in the United States, Canada, South America, Europe, Asia, Australia, and New Zealand. I especially DON'T give PERMISSION on any video sites YouTube, Dailymotion, Bit chute. And Patreon.

    I'll repeat that AGAIN, I give absolutely NO PERMISSION to share this story.


    FINAL Edit: This ban also includes Africa, thank you user 1engel for the suggestion.

    Originally Posted in r/antiwork, I was told to post it here.

    For legal reasons, I can't disclose the exact location, purely because the team I worked with were cool guys and our boss fucked over corporate really hard without them noticing.

    This took place in 2012

    Part 1: The Fire Marshall

    I worked at a smaller chain electronic store that sold top-of-the-line Video Cameras, PCs, Cell Phones, Photo-Cameras, and this new thing called "4K Televisions."

    For context we were located at an expensive outlet mall, we were literally the only electronic store in the mall, and the only place for fifty miles that sold high-end electronics. Logic dictates that this in itself would make our location prime real estate and we would have record sales every year.

    Spoiler alert: That's exactly what happened and we basically killed it five years in a row.

    Furthermore, I got hired because I came into the store looking for some video equipment. The store manager was caught off guard by my advanced technical knowledge of camera technology because I kept asking him specific technical questions on certain models. (NOTE This piece of information is relevant for the end of the story)

    So with that preamble out of the way, let's get into the heart of the story.

    While working the camera counter, the mall fire marshal came in and asked to see the store manager.

    Since I had no customers at that moment, I decided to take him to the back to meet my manager.

    This verbatim is what I can remember.

    ME: *Hey the Fire Marshal here?

    Manager: Why?

    ME: Don't know, want me to let him in the office?

    Manager: Sure, give me a moment.

    Marshal: Ok, mall management wanted me to ask when you want me to bring in the construction foreman.

    Me: What are we building something? (Looking at my rather baffled boss)

    Manager: No? I didn't ask for a construction foreman.

    Marshal: Well aren't you aware of the new (OVER PRICED CLOTHING STORE) that's going to be built here?

    At that exact moment, I and the store manager looked at each other, then looked at the fire marshal. Who handed my manager the work order on the brand new (OVER PRICED CLOTHING STORE) that was going to be built at our exact location. Thus permanently ending the only high-end electronic store miles around.

    Part 2: Money Talks

    A few days later, the manager held a store meeting with me and the rest of the team. Prior to this meeting, the manager gave me permission to tell the rest of our 12-person team, about the incident with the Fire Marshal.

    So the manager confronted corporate about what was going on, and after some skillful verbal gymnastics, we got the whole story.


    "So I called corporate, to ask what's happening and I'll tell you straight. (OVER PRICED CLOTHING STORE) has been trying for ten years to get a spot at this outlet mall, they

    went to every store with a buy-out offer for the storefront. The CEO of this electronic chain was approached by (OVER PRICED CLOTHING STORE) with a massive check in the millions, to break

    our lease and hand over the storefront to them. We weren't supposed to know any of this, corporate wanted us to be in the dark right up until the last day 2 weeks from today."

    YEP, everyone was fucking pissed, in fact, we were so angry that all of us did the absolute bare minimum, this included the manager.

    In one week, we tanked our own sales by 70%, corporate freaked out and sent a hatchet man to talk to the store.

    This doofus was confused why we weren't giving it a 110% and was surprised we got visibly angry when he informed us, that we wouldn't be getting severance pay or a letter of recommendation.

    My manager very politely told him to leave and that he would take care of the situation himself.

    Part 3: OOPS my finger slipped.

    After the hatchet man was banished from our store, the manager took a close look at the management handbook and noticed a little snafu that was written into the book in regards to discretionary discounts.

    Mainly that the store manager has permission to discount ANY PRODUCT in the store up to 90% off. And the offset of the cost will be absorbed at the end of the year discretionary cost analysis.

    Yes, you read that last sentence correctly, and the wonderful part of the story is that the store was being shut down by the end of February.

    So another store meeting was held, the manager told us that 2 days before our last day we were having a secret 90% off sale just for the employees and their family.

    When I heard this I ask the question everyone was thinking.

    Me: So let me get this straight, this includes every single item in this store?

    Manager: Yep, in fact, what you guys can do is pick out everything you want now, and set up a little pile in the backroom. Make sure you guys labeled everything and I'll include the premium service warranties for free.

    Well, I decided to do some shopping, new-fangled 240 hertz 4K TV, 4K Camera system, 3 x 5hr spare batteries, 5 x 128 GB SD cards, Shotgun XLR Microphone, Laptop, 2 x 1TB external portable drives, a tripod, car tripod, under-water camera housing, an action camera, a large capacity camera bag, and custom shoulder strap camera plate system.

    But wait there's more, the manager told me I could have any of the HDMI and Mini Display port cables that are currently attached to the show-room TV/Computer displays.

    On the day of the secret 90% off sale, we all showed up 2 hours early from the back entrance and bought our items.

    With tax, I paid about $1,153.69 for about $13,000 dollars worth of brand-new electronics and in essence, gave me the necessary tools to start my own media business.

    As one final fuck you to corporate, the manager gave all of us a phone number to a caseworker at the local unemployment office who was sympathetic to our cause.

    Part 4: I have never seen this man before in my life.

    Well, flash forward to March 2013, and I'm carefully navigating my freelance media company into a nice stream of steady work. I get an unknown phone call from a law firm representing the electronics company. Apparently, $400,000 worth of electronics, were "mistakenly" sold at a 90% discount and they wanted to know if I had any information on where I could find my manager.

    The following conversation is what I can recall to the best of my memory:

    ME: May I ask why you need to know this information?

    Law Firm: Well we believed that he woefully miss used his discount privileges.

    ME: Okay, but could you answer a question for me first?

    Law Firm: Sure?

    ME: Why did your client the CEO of an electronic chain, take a multi-million dollar check to break a lease on his own business and not properly informed the store staff of it's impending closer?


    ME: Hello?

    Law Firm: Sorry to bother you, sir.

    And that was it, the moral of the story, DON'T FUCK OVER your employees.

    P.S.- Boss if you reading this, take comfort in the fact that non of us has sold you out and I hope you're living a wondrous life.

    Update Corrections from the editor and clarifications.

    First the cameras.

    I got a Handycam video camera and a NEX-5 still camera, I traded them both for SONY FDR-AX100 a couple years later. I was checking my camera storage to see if I still had my old camera, and found my SONY FDR-AX100. Which is a 4K model but wasn't released back in 2012, so sorry for the confusion. The great irony was JVC released JVC GY-HMQ10 a few months later after the store shut down and I would have killed for that camera.

    TV Correction

    Yes, the first generation 4K Tv from Sony was $70000 dollars, however, there was models I've seen at the time that sold from $16,000 to $20,000. Just google "First 4k TV prices". Why so expensive? Because manufacturing cost wasn't under control yet.

    But I apologize my TV I got was HD, not 4K, it was Sony XBR-HX950, it was this weird mutant hybrid HD TV with motion flow tech that made it go from 240 hz to 480 hz. I traded this is for a Sony X series in 2014 and then traded that for a TCL HDR model in 2018.

    What happened to my boss

    Basically, he moved out of state, he was an older gent I think he was about 60yrs old, because he told me how he got into electronics in the late 1980s early 1990s. Started at CompUSA, then Gateway 2000, Circuit City, Fry's and finally the store I worked at. So my guess is probably retired now and honestly I have no clue what his legal situation is. But we all loved him because we were broke as fuck at that time and had no loyalty to corporate.

    As for my "Media Business"

    I started shooting videos, a lot of music concerts, weddings, and corporate videos. Then once everyone and the mother got a movie camera on their cell phone, I switched over to video editing and motion graphics. I also do studio photography for various products for small start-up companies or local shops. I used the blanket term Media Business because it's to simplify the weird evolution I went through. The one piece of advice I can give for people who want to start one is to look at what UHD resolutions are going to become standard in the next 5-6 years and plan your tech purchases from there.

    That's it for me, I'm going to leave the original story as is, and not edit anything. I don't want to be accused of making stuff up.

    One last thing, a while back I did write a story about my very brief adventure at Best Buy, I deleted it because it was poorly written and it was just a diatribe against this really cunty and incompetent manager I had. I decided to bite the bullet and go full-time with my media company, I'm happy at the fact that I don't need to work retail anymore.

    Again I like to stress this happened a decade ago, so I apologize if my dates aren't 100% accurate, I'm just trying as best I can to remember everything. But this all took place in 2012.

    03:23 UTC


    Make my co-workers cry I will help karma turn your life upside down.

    Backstory: I worked at this hotel for over 2 years and was one of two people left that went through the training when our hotel changed hotel franchises. During this training we were told about certain rules the company had.

    Cast: Manager – Front Desk Manager he only was here for 4-6 months at this point.

    Me – I am a nice guy unless you are a bully or entitled person.

    A few others I will mention as we go through.

    Story: One afternoon I was scheduled to work second shift 3-11. I walked in and both AM front desk co-workers looked like they had been massively crying as their makeup was smeared. My manager looking quite pissed. I ask, “What’s wrong?” Manager “We have a major jerk as a guest. This guy is the highest level on the rewards for the hotel chain. He is very demanding and wants free upgrades free this or that and screams anytime he has an interaction with the staff. This guy has made every department call me complaining about him. Now this guy just came to the desk and screamed at these two co-workers until they both were crying.” These two ladies were fresh high school graduates and were very sweet and innocent people. They loved helping people and didn’t deserve this treatment.

    As he is explaining this, I look up this guy’s room details. Once my manager finishes explaining everything this guy had done. I see this guy’s info I had a smile from ear to ear. I reply, “Didn’t you see he is an employee of a different hotel?” Manager “Yes, but so what?” I replied “First off while you travel as an employee you are required to behave and be respectful. it is in the fine print on the discount form. I grabbed his form and showed it to the manager. Failure to be respectful can lead to having your employee discount suspended or permanently revoked, and even get you terminated. You need to call this guy’s hotel and ask for the GM, then explain to him who you are and what this guy is doing.” I look up the hotel phone number and call the hotel and then handed my manager the phone.

    Manager after his call ends with the GM, he has an evil and satisfying smile on his face. “His GM is steaming mad after I described all the stuff this guy has done.” Main switchboard phone rings. I answered, “Hello thank you for calling hotel name, how may I direct your call?” Caller “I want to speak to Entitled Jerks room please.” I replied, “absolutely sir have a nice day.” Transfer the call and looked at my manager and saying with a sarcastic tone “Someone wanted to talk to Entitled Jerk gee I wonder who that could be.” Manager continues after he stopped laughing “The GM gave me his personal cell phone number and said if I have any more issues at all to call him immediately. I am leaving the phone number next to the switchboard, if you need it call him.”

    I told manager “Your revenge is done, now for my revenge.” Manager wide eyed “Oh crap what are you going to do.” Me smiling a very evil smile “You’ll see.” I pick up the phone to make a call “Hello hotel rewards customer service. Yes, I would like to report someone using reward account while using employee discount on his stay” Customer Service “He can’t do that!!” I replied, “I know I am calling to report him.” I gave her the guest reservation number and rewards member number. I continued “I bet anything if you dig through this guy’s history you will find all his stays are probably at employee discount.” Customer Service “I am starting a ticket to have this guy’s account investigated.” I replied, “Thank you.” Then hang up the phone. The manager watched as I then remove his rewards number from his stay.

    My manager had a huge grin on his face “That was awesome!” I explain “Oh I am not quite finished with him yet; it is time to go spread the news to all departments he is no longer a rewards member.” I made a new key for his room without Concierge access. I walked around to every department, as I explained why I was stopping by everyone had the same reaction as soon as I mentioned the guy’s name. “Oh god now what about this ahole.” I finished explaining how he was no longer a reward member and if he gives anyone issues to call the front desk immediately and his GM already probably tore him a new one just a min ago. Everyone was so happy at this news. I finally went to the concierge room used the guest new key to void his current key. Then I walked into the room and explained the information to the evening concierge. She cringed at the mention of his name, after explaining she would not have to deal with him again and asked her to leave the morning person a note about this guy not allowed in the concierge room anymore. She was very happy.

    While I was gone evidently the manager explained what we did to the 2 AM Front desk ladies. The minute I got back to the desk both my front desk co-workers all came up to me and gave me a huge hug and thanked me so many times. Manager to me after the other co-workers went home “Do me a huge favor please.” I replied, “Sure what’s up.” Manager “If I ever piss you off, please come tell me so I can fix the issue.”

    Later that night entitled jerk comes to the desk hat in hand politely saying his key doesn’t work. I replied, “Oh so sorry about that let me make you a new key.” In the best fake smile, I can muster.

    Aftermath: Next day I check his rewards account and it is now suspended. Check back next week “Sorry account number not found.”

    19:20 UTC


    I was able to simultaneously gain a 30k per year pension for my Mother while wiping my piece of shit father's retirement.

    My Father is the Canadian Satan. Growing up with him was less than fun and I can assure you , based on witnessing it he was a less than fun husband. I'd go on about what a piece of shit my father is but instead i'll quote a judge " you're the most despicable human I've ever had in my court room" and that's coming from a family court judge. I read this wining endorsement of my Dad's personality in the court documents I acquired related to his divorce with my Mum. The same place I discovered the fuckery he had engaged in to steal from my Mum. It's also where I found the information I needed to get one over on him so severely he's going to disinherit me.

    This is a bit of a long read so tldr at he bottom. A Frame of reference about my Father is that he's a pathalogical narcissist and behaves exactly how those people are compelled to act. They aren't generous people and punching them in the wallet is like a slapshot to the taint from Gretzky. He's kind of like Donkey from Shrek but also Jospeh Stalin, a monstrous jackass.

    Chapter 1 - Hosea 3:8

    Those that sow the wind shall reap a whirlwind.Our actions always have consequences and my Padre has plenty to answer for. My attempts to hold him to account didn't jump to Immediate Jihad , they started with diplomacy and a therapist.

    About 10 months ago when our tale begins I was going through some stuff. Stuff being a whole lot of PTSD related to both my Dad's abuse and my job as a paramedic. He did a ton that affected me deeply, things that I needed to move past, along with all that other razzmatazz from 15 years of EMS. In so trying to move past and work through everything I quit drinking, started Turining my untreated PTSD into treated PTSD and thinking having my Dad involved might help me and our relationship. We'll I seriously fucking misjudged that one so you'll probably be unsurprised to hear that conversation went swimmingly. I'll spare you the lurid detail but when I broached the subject with him our back and forth degenerated into visceral hate with him screaming at me that I'm a failed paramedic, liar and piece of shit alcoholic. While I have a certain pride about my job, I have more pride in my 14 months Sobriety, so hearing this from my old man might have caused me to behave a bit psychotically. I got right pissed off at him a decided to dig up every bit of dirt I could , see what kind of man he actually is and has been

    When it was convenient I hoped in the mystery machine before taking a trip to the court house to unleash my inner gumshoe . Everything is public record, so I bulk bought copies before retiring to my easy chair to read, plot and pet my white long haired cat. For good measure I obtained a file of divorce doccument from my mother. Soon enough I hit upon a line of inquiry worth following up on, it seems that during the final settlement of my parents divorce ( 2002), my mother was awarded 1/3 of my father's employment pension. She was a stay at home mother and could not earn one herself so it was given to her by a judge. Mighty fucking strange because my father as he brags took a nearly full pension and retired a bit early. No way that asshat was living the last 10 years after retiring early on a 2/3 pension, he isn't constantly bithcing about it. So I asked my Mother if she was collecting a pension from his job or had cashed out the value (100k plus at the time) 20 years ago , no to both questions. Well that's interesting, I wonder if that's collectable on and what 20 years of compound intest from a pension fund makes it worth. Well I did eventually find out along with the fact that my dear old Dad had been collecting my mothers portion for 10 years, in Hilariously open violation of a legal order from a Judge. Why didn't my mother pursue this sooner? A combination of being unable to afford a lawyer, being his victim for 20 years and pessimism after so much of his continued dodging obligation to the order, she just quit.

    There is effectively no statute of limitations he could hide behind becuase the wording of the settlement. Insofar as I could tell I had him dead to rights and my Mother would be collecting, it would be a slam dunk. I just needed to hire a lawyer to help me , so I set out to find the most unbalanced, bloodthirsty psychotic who passed the BAR exam.

    Chapter 2 - Et tu pension lady?

    As it says in the good book screw unto others as they would screw unto you, so that's what I set out to do. The misanthropic sociopath I hired for legal counsel suggested we send a demand letter to the pension office to try and remedy it before filing what would undoubtedly be an easy win for him. I agreed in spirit and instead phoned up the pension office and got put through to the woman managing my father's file. Well she was a delight and it was a trivial matter for me to get her to loathe my Dad. We talked for 45 minutes and I swear if you'd given me another hour I could have convinced her to suicide bomb his house. In all our conversations about life , families and relationships we got down to some things of note. Since I could show her correspondence her office had sent to my father ( cc'd my mum on ) some years ago and ongoing for 5 consecutive years, trying to resolve this matter , which he had ignored, she was more than willing to start the process on remedy immediately. Full cooperation from this lady and her office was a matter of merely providing documentation and with my lawyer on retainer , this office was beyond asking my father to comply, they complied for him. About 2 months since I last spoke to my Father and he now had no idea his pensilon was about to take a serious hit. Below I'm going to break down how big a turd I put into his bowl of ice cream.

    My mother's portion was made whole and adjusted to reflect that her portion was brought to maturity and beyond so his early retirement dosent affect her fund. So he loses 10 years of valuation to her, he also retired 3 years early which kocks him down now to 17 years of pension valuation ,not 27. If you'd forgotten my Dad had been collecting my Mum's money and was over paid by 30k per year for the last 10 years. Like I said Mom was made whole, so the pension company is going to claw back that overpayment from the base valuation of his current pension fund. I'm not exactly sure what that does to the number but it effectively nerfs my Old man's private retirement fund. He's got government old age pension, that he took early too, whoops.

    My Dad did some awful shit to me but I only had to suffer 17 years of him , my Mum still has the high score at 20. As much as I did this for spite and malicious glee, I did do it to give my Mum a chance ar a proper retirement .

    Chapter 3 - Glitter bombs of justice

    My mother started collecting her pension about 3 months after I contacted the pension office and to celebrate she bought tickets to New Zealand for the family for Christmas, so we can see our relatives. I was able to get most of my retainer from the lawyer back and to celebrate I went online to order a glitterbomb. I was able to ship it to my old man anonymously from another country ( God bless the USA ). I heard through my sister he opened it up in his stupid red miata, ha ha ha , he'll never get rid of it.

    TLDR. Got my mother a pension that she was actually awarded In a divorce. My Dad had been over paid for 10 years, had to answer for it.

    03:23 UTC


    Want some free gas? I gotcha bro!

    Hope this qualifies as pro revenge. Let me know if needs removing.

    So several years ago, my friend, we'll call him Boris, and I would always help each other do the spring cleanup for our properties. This included taking out damaged trees, preparing garden plots, and taking care of our weed infested yards.

    I was going to be first on the cleanup detail so I prepared tools and implements the Friday before the big clean up was to happen. Sharpening tools and chainsaw chains, lawn mower blade, and just getting everything in order. Among those tasks was mixing had with 2 cycle oil. Finished up kind of late and generally put things away for the next day.

    The next morning Boris shows up with coffee and biscuits around 8 AM. As we were sitting on his tailgate enjoying breakfast, my neighbors ride by in their beat to hell Chevy cavalier smoking like a freight train. We will call them Rocky and Bullwinkle. Boris and I made the usual jokes about the amount of smoke pouring from the exhaust. Damn, bet they go to the gas station and fill up with oil and check the gas. We soon finished breakfast and thought no more about it.

    As we begin to get the tools laid out and has out a plan of attack, I can not find my gas cans. No mixed gas, regular gas, or a gas can in general. That's when it dawned on us why the car Rocky and Bullwinkle we're driving was smoking so bad. I'm pissed to say the least.

    Well, all Boris and I could do was go shopping for gas cans, gas, and more 2 cycle oil. After we returned, we saw Rocky and Bullwinkle pass by several times, but all in all, we got a lot done. The next weekend we dedicated to clean up at Boris's.

    A weekend or two go by and we have a family dinner at my wife's, Rocky and Bullwinkle's grand parents. Toward the latter part of the evening we were having a few drinks. Most people had left and myself and wife's grandfather were shooting the breeze when I had to take a leak. As I was doing so, I saw a gas can with very distinct paint on it. I inquired from the old man about how it came into his possession and he stated Rocky and Bullwinkle left it there. I simply explained it was mine as was another and loaded them in my truck.

    It ate at me every time that pos car with my post neighbors went by. So I hatched a plan from a rotten egg. I went and bought a few gallons of gas, a few gallons of diesel fuel, and some other various oils. I made a concoction of these different chemicals and filled my new 6 gallon gas can I had to purchase. With some clean gas, I fill the lawn mower and cut some grass that evening making sure Rocky and Bullwinkle saw me. Then I put everything away but forgot and left that rotten egg gas can out.

    I got up and went to work the next morning and didn't even think to check on the can. But when I got home, I checked and it was gone. My wife informed me that my plan must have worked as she watched Rocky and Bullwinkle go in and out with the car not only smoking, but spitting and sputtering as well. The last time they rode out, they didn't ride back in. Hmm.

    They gave me about an hour of peace before they came over and wanted to know if I could look at the car and see what was wrong. If it could not be fixed on the side of the road, maybe tow it home. My response? I've had a long day and have a migraine. Maybe tomorrow. I saw the panic set in when I told them that. That's when they told me the had no insurance and it was on a main road. Tough luck.

    So the highway patrol did run across it and had it towed. It was going to cost them around $500 to get it out of impound plus they had to have current registration and insurance. Car wasn't worth it.

    Well, their those type of people that good luck just falls on them and the pastor for a local church gave them an old for Taurus. Took me a few cans of rotten egg gas but I got the motor to lock up after about a month. This time it quit in their grandparents yard. So, they scrapped it and as luck would have it, they got their income tax returns. They bought a nice looking Ford f150 but it began having problems too. Smoked really bad. They did take it to a mechanic that eventually found the problem. He got the truck running right again for about $1,500 and I have never had anymore gas come up missing. Thanks for reading.

    12:09 UTC


    But I didn't retire!!!

    My friend (I'll call her Sandy) worked at a travel agency in British Columbia, Canada. It was a small, owner-operated business with the owner and three employees including my friend. Everyone worked Monday to Friday from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.

    One of my friend's coworkers (I'll call her Jane), an older woman in her early to mid-sixties, was a long-time nuisance employee. Among other sketchy behaviour, Jane was always scamming ways to take time off over and above her official paid vacation time. In order to make up for the lost hours, she would claim overtime hours/pay by supposedly going in to the office in her off hours "to finish up" work without being requested by the owner to do so.

    Despite being caught in her own lies on a number of occasions and being warned about trying to claim for unsanctioned overtime, the owner of the travel agency was reluctant to officially reprimand Jane or get rid of her. The reason being is the owner discovered after she had hired Jane that Jane had actually been fired from her previous job at another local travel agency for pulling the same stunts; however, Jane had sued her former employer for unfair dismissal and had won a settlement.

    After a few years of my friend Sandy working at the travel agency, the owner was ready to retire and offered to sell the business to my friend. Sandy took her up on the deal and took over the business while keeping on Jane and the other employee. Once again, just as the previous owner was afraid to get rid of Jane, so was Sandy for fear of being sued.

    When Sandy took over the business, she instituted guidelines regarding taking time off and she established an official "no overtime" policy. Jane would still try with her shenanigans but was far less successful in getting what she wanted with my friend in charge. However, Jane still had one trick up her sleeve when she wanted to take time off on a whim. Sandy was a divorced single mom of two boys who were heavily involved in youth hockey. She would sometimes leave the office an hour or two before closing to get her boys to hockey practice or a game. In order to avoid requesting in person and potentially being denied, Jane would wait for Sandy to be out of the office to book a day off if she didn't feel like coming into work or had made plans. Sandy would then arrive at work the next morning only to discover that Jane wasn't coming in.

    Despite this happening a number of times, Sandy would usually let it slide since there was now a definite "no overtime" policy. Therefore, Jane could no longer claim to come in to work on the weekend or after hours in order to try and make up for the day off. She would either miss out on a day's pay, in turn saving Sandy money as the owner, or it would come out of her remaining paid vacation days. Moreover, two people in the office at one time could usually handle everything. Jane not coming in was really a no-loss situation for Sandy.

    There was one time, however, when Sandy was going to be away for one or two work days just before the weekend to take her boys to a hockey tournament. She told both Jane and the other employee both verbally and in writing that they could not book time off for the dates in question since she would be away and needed both of them in the office. Within a few days of giving this notice, Sandy went in to the office on a Saturday to do some paperwork and go through the sales for the week. This is when she discovered that, only the day before, Jane had booked a trip for her daughter and son-in-law to Las Vegas as well as a plane ticket in her name to Calgary where her daughter lived. Both the trip to Vegas and the ticket to Calgary coincided with the dates Sandy would be out of the office. Sandy then checked the vacation booking schedule to further discover that Jane had indeed booked the days off that she had expressly been told she couldn't have.

    Not mentioning she had discovered the travel Jane had booked for herself and her daughter, Sandy emailed Jane telling her she would have to deny her the days off since she had already been told they were unavailable because she (Sandy) would be away and needed Jane in the office. Through a continued series of email exchanges, Jane replied and outright lied to Sandy with some excuse about her daughter getting some long-awaited medical treatment or surgery, and she needed to go to Calgary to help out for a few days and look after her granddaughter. Sandy replied to this lie by telling Jane she knew about the trip she had booked to Vegas for her daughter and son-in-law; that Jane's trip to Calgary was most likely to babysit her granddaughter while her daughter was in Vegas; and that she would still have to deny Jane the days off especially since she booked them after being told they were unavailable.

    Jane countered in her subsequent reply, without even addressing the fact that she had been caught in a lie, that she had been a dedicated employee of the travel agency for several years and couldn't understand why she was being treated so unfairly after all she had done for the business. She then wrote that since she wasn't being treated as a valued employee, she had no choice but to retire and was giving her two-weeks' notice. Despite Jane's threat, Sandy replied that she would still be unable to grant her the days off and left it at that without making any mention of Jane's threat to quit/retire.

    Sandy then contacted her accountant, who also acted as her de facto business advisor, and explained what had happened with Jane. Also aware of Jane's previous shenanigans, Sandy's accountant told her that this was the out she had been looking for with Jane, and she had it all in writing. He told her that Jane had essentially resigned/retired and all Sandy needed to do was honour Jane's desire to do so, let her finish out her two weeks, or pay her two-weeks' wages in lieu with no further severance pay legally required since she hadn't been fired.

    The following Monday, Sandy went into the office early accompanied by her longterm boyfriend to act as a witness. She put Jane's belongings from her desk into a box and took the things that were property of the business. Since Jane was old school and had resisted inputting client information in the computer database, this also included a small box filled with index cards which had client phone numbers, addresses, credit card information, and other personal information noted on them. In the meantime the other employee had arrived for work, and they all waited for Jane to show up.

    Jane arrived just before 9:00 acting as though nothing had happened and greeted everyone with a "good morning" as she walked through the door. However, she was apparently taken slightly aback when she noticed Sandy's boyfriend seated in the far corner of the office. At this point, Jane was mid-way to her desk when Sandy informed her that there was no need to go any further and that she had accepted Jane's notification of retirement. She then handed Jane a cheque compensating her for the hours she had worked in the current pay period as well as two-weeks' wages in lieu of Jane finishing out her final two weeks before her "retirement".

    Jane was dumbfounded and went into panic mode, "But I didn't retire! I'm not ready to retire!"

    Sandy responded that indeed she had retired, given her notice and had proof of it in writing. All Jane could do was continue repeating, "But I didn't retire! I'm not ready to retire!" while unsuccessfully attempting to get the support of the other employee who refused to come to her defence. Sandy then pointed to the box containing Jane's belongings, wished her a happy retirement, and told her to leave the office. Jane quickly rifled through the box and noticed that the small box containing the index cards with client informaiton was not there. She insisted that Sandy return it to her which Sandy refused to do explaining that it was property of the business, contained personal client information, and that she would be in violation of Canadian privacy laws if she were to let Jane take it. Jane's shock had now turned to obstinance and she refused to leave without the box. Both the other employee and Sandy's boyfriend had started to get involved, repeatedly telling Jane to just leave.

    Sandy then informed Jane that if she didn't leave, they would have to call the RCMP (Canadian police), at which point, Sandy's boyfriend dialled 911 to inform the dispatcher of a disgruntled former employee at XYZ Travel Agency who was refusing to leave the premises. Within a few minutes, two police officers arrived, and Jane immediately ran to the door ranting about being fired and about the missing box of client info. In order to deescalate the situation, one police officer told Jane to come outside and explain to him her side of the story. The other officer remained in the office to hear Sandy's side of the story agreeing that Jane was not legally entitled to the box of client info. The other officer then reentered the business and told Jane to wait outside. He said that Jane was insisting that Sandy was holding onto her personal belongings, namely a box of important information. Both Sandy and the officer who had spoken to her explained the contents of the box to the other officer who in turn agreed it was not Jane's property. The police officers then picked up the larger box of Jane's personal belongings, took it outside to Jane, and told her she needed to go home.

    To rub salt in Jane's wounds, the next day, Sandy put up a large sign in the window of the business congratulating Jane on her retirement and even put a small announcement in the local newspaper doing the same thing. The icing on the piece of revenge cake was Sandy, when filling out the necessary government forms for when an employee quits / gets fired / retires, made sure to check the box labelled "retired" for the reason for Jane no longer being employed. By doing so, Jane was ineligible to collect unemployment insurance benefits.

    04:33 UTC


    Pro Army Revenge (PAR) Is Par For The Course!!!

    EDIT: Dear Reader, I spent the majority of my career in Special Operations Forces (SOF). I carried a gun, not a pen. I am not a writer, nor an editor. I am not forcing anyone to read this saga. I understand it is long, but a TLDR will detract from the story. I was told to post here because it is doing well at r/pettyrevenge , r/MaliciousCompliance, and r/MilitaryStories.

    Dear Reader, I had an illustrious twenty-one-year career in the United States Army (USA), which miraculously concluded with an Honorable Discharge. Twenty-one-years and fourteen combat deployments produce a lifetime of stories. The overwhelming majority of memories are comical, and worth remembering. Like the time I “barrowed” another human’s truck, or the time I relocated an artillery display in my barracks room. However, some memories are extra ammunition after a Live Fire Exercise (LFX); worth donating to Chuck and Barry. Memories suppressed so well they never happened. However, these memories can be unintentionally triggered.

    I worked at The Bad Place before attending Assessment and Selection. Working there was the sole reason for attending selection. The Bad Place (TBP) was a 3-Star Command, and nursing home for dying careers. TBP was a mixture of National Guard, Army Reserve, Active Duty, and Department of the Army Civilians. It was essential a foreign planet for a Soldier who had grown up in Regiment and the 82nd Airborne Division.

    Overnight, I had transitioned from Airborne Infantry to the “Equipment Tracking Officer.” It was my sole purpose in life to source Pre-Deployment Training Equipment (PDTE) for deploying National Guard and Army Reserve units. These units would request specific types of equipment, and it was my responsibility to source at least two-thirds of the requested equipment.

    I should mention, my boss at TBP was Department of the Army Civilian (DAC). I had ten years of service under my belt, and it was the first time my direct supervisor was a civilian. Now, I have no issues with civilians, but I do have issues with horrible leadership. Mike was horrible. Mike was a dirty diaper, full of shit and always on my ass.

    Side Note

    Sloppy: I feel the need to mention TBP recently moved!

    Reader: Moved?

    Sloppy: Yes! Deep South one day, and the Midwest the next.

    Reader: Aliens?

    Sloppy: Nope. Base Realignment and Closure (BRAC).

    Reader: What?

    Sloppy: The Army decided to close some bases and expand others.

    Reader (Puzzled): Oh! So, what’s this have to do with the story?!?

    Sloppy: There “was” two Active Duty Soldiers and two Department of the Army Civilians performing the duties of Equipment Tracking Officers in the Deep South. None of them moved, and all continuity was lost.

    Reader: Okay! There had to be some kind of transition though. Right?

    Sloppy: Yes! All four of them spent countless hours informing me how terrible of a human Mike was via email.

    Reader: Oh!

    Story Time Again

    Dear Reader, I had no earthly idea “what” my job was, or “how” I was to perform it initially. Making matters worse, I would quickly learn Mike had no earthly idea either. Mike only knew what Z (Final Product) looked like and was mentally unaware of the other twenty-six letters in the alphabet. Mike was less useful than blinker-fluid and football-bats.

    Fear not Dear Reader, it only took three months of working from 0500-to-2300 to garner a nascent understanding of my roles and responsibilities. Thankfully, I had wonderful counterparts at sister organizations. Furthermore, they were all equally aware of how useful Mike was.

    Fast-Forward Four Months

    The section was still composed of exactly one Sloppy. I was twenty-five percent of the total allotted manpower performing one hundred percent of the duties. “If you wait until the last minute, it only takes a minute,” was my battle cry. Life was grand. I had developed Standard Operating Procedures (SOPs) and automated matrices to assist me. I was even starting to catch errors from the department that validates equipment requests.

    Note: Remember, it was my duty to source two-thirds of the equipment request.

    I had a very unpleasant one-way conversation in August of 2011. Captain (CPT) Richard Cranium was requesting I provide three Rhino Buses for training. Dear Reader, I kindly explained “why” fulfilling this request was unfeasible. Problem solved, right? Nope! I then received a call from Lieutenant Colonel (LTC) Richard Cranium. I then received a call from Colonel (COL) Richard Cranium. The issue quickly became a self-licking ice cream cone of chaos.

    Ring. Ring. Ring.

    Sloppy: The Bad Place, G-4 Equipment Tracking Officer, this is RANK Sloppy speaking! How may I help you Sir or Ma’am?

    Caller: This is Major General (MG) Richard Cranium from the California National Guard.

    Side Note: Civilian Readers, the Major General is the “Boss” Dick Head for ALL National Guard Soldiers in the state of California. Sloppy does not get calls from General Officers (GOs). Ever!

    Sloppy: How can I help you Sir?

    MG Richard Cranium (Angry): I am calling to enquire as to WHY you will not fulfill our equipment request. IS IT NOT YOUR POLICY TO PROVIDE TWO-THIRDS?

    Dear Reader, I was now a bit agitated. I had clearly explained the issue to the Company Commander, Battalion Commander, and Brigade Commander. I now have an irate God-level Commander on the phone and two Courses of Action (COAs) are cycling through my mind. I could kindly explain “why” this request was absurd, or I could go full Regiment Sloppy.

    Slot Machine Sloppy

    Pulls lever.

    Wheels spinning.

    Still spinning.

    Regiment Sloppy.

    Sloppy: Sir, I clearly explained to the previous Commanders “why” I cannot fulfill their request, and provided other options…


    Sloppy (Time to Get Fired Attitude) Roger Sir. Well, as I told the previous Commanders, there are only five Rhino Buses that exist on Earth! Three of them are deployed to Iraq, and the other two are in Afghanistan! Do you wish for me to forward this equipment request to Forces Command (FORSCOM/Four-Star General)?

    MG Richard Cranium: Oh!!! That won’t be necessary RANK Sloppy!

    Sloppy: Are you sure Sir? I mean I can…

    MG Richard Cranium: No…Did you explain this to…

    Sloppy: Every single one of them Sir.

    MG Richard Cranium: Disregard! I have some phone calls to make.

    Dear Reader, the world was right again. At least I thought it was. It appears the Major General was slow to contact his subordinate leadership. The Colonel had contacted Mike demanding I supply his unit with Rhino Buses. One would think a simple explanation would suffice for Mike, but one would be wrong. Commonsense is an elusive fickle creature for Mike. It was like trying to explain what number the letter purple tastes like.


    Sloppy: Yes Sir!

    Mike: WHY?

    Sloppy: Because there are only five of them, and they are all deployed to Combat Zones!?!


    Sloppy Brain: Ah? Is this man fucking serious?

    Sloppy Brain (Laughing): I think he is!

    Sloppy: Like call the Pentagon and ask them to redeploy them from COMBAT because some unit needs to TRAIN with them?


    Sloppy (Lip Service): Roger that Sir!!!

    Dear Reader, when one door closes; check for an open window! I had over ninety units on my desk, and thirty-thousand pieces of equipment to source for the month of August. It didn’t take long to find a window to crawl out. I found a unique request from an Infantry unit. They requested a plethora of equipment and it all made sense, minus four pieces of equipment.

    Sloppy Brain: Pretty sure those four pieces of equipment need to be on a different type of request. Right?

    Sloppy Brain: Yeah, but “IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO VALIDATE IT.”

    Sloppy Brain: Oh! Right!

    Dear Reader, I sourced it. All four of them. It was not an easy task either. I literally had to scour the entire country for available inventory. I made phone-call-after-phone-call to make this request happen. None of the items were collocated. They would need to be transported from the far stretches of the continental United States, and failure was not an option. I had fulfilled my responsibilities. I source the equipment and turn it over to Mike for signature. Mike’s signature magically allocates funding and authorizes the transportation of said equipment.

    Dear Reader, “shit” typically rolls downhill. However, this specific request defied the Laws of Gravity. Shit was going to roll uphill. I crawled back through the window and waited a month for the fallout to ensue. Truth be told, due to my heavy workload, I had forgotten about my magnificent accomplishment. It was another horrible day at work, until I received a magical phone call.

    Ring. Ring. Ring.

    Sloppy: The Bad Place, G-4 Equipment Tracking Officer, this is RANK Sloppy speaking! How may I help you Sir or Ma’am?

    Caller: Hello! I am Sergeant First Class (SFC) Ricky Bobby. I am the Long Range Surveillance (LRS) Platoon Sergeant for UNIT NAME.

    Sloppy: Hey Ricky. How can I help you?!?

    SFC Ricky Bobby: Well I am looking at four helicopters, and I am told I need to sign for them!

    Sloppy (YES-MODE): Let me look at your request…

    Shuffling Noises!

    Sloppy: Yes! You requested two UH-60L Blackhawk helicopters and two UH-47 Chinook helicopters correct?

    SFC Ricky Bobby: Yes, but I requested them for SPIES (Special Purpose Insertion Extraction System) and FRIES (Fast Rope Insertion Extraction System) training. (Laughing) I am not a pilot! What the hell am I supposed to do with four helicopters!?!

    Sloppy (LAUGHING): I mean, once you sign for them, they’re yours. I suppose you could try to fly them?!?

    SFC Ricky Bobby (LAUGHING): Fucking Army! Suppose I could.

    Sloppy (Laughing): Don’t worry man! I’ve got your back. I have already coordinated with our Aviation Validators to support your request. I will give you their number.

    SFC Ricky Bobby: I’m ready to copy!

    Slopppy: 867-5309.

    SFC Ricky Bobby: Thanks man!

    Sloppy: Call me back if you have any issues brother. I will walk upstairs (G3/Operations) and get this sorted so you boys can do SPIES and FRIES.

    SFC Ricky Bobby: WILCO (Will Comply) man!

    Dear Reader, not only does shit roll uphill, but shit rolls uphill faster than I expected. I had just hung-up the phone and was departing for lunch. I didn’t make it five feet before I was beckoned to Mike’s office. There are four chairs in Mikes office. One with a loadbearing capacity of at least four hundred pounds, and four normal-people chairs. I was awkwardly surprised to find it was already standing room only. The G4 Colonel, Deputy G4 (Civilian/DAC), and G3 (Operations) Colonel were already in Mike’s office.

    Mike: It seems we have an issue RANK Sloppy!

    Sloppy Brain: “We?”

    Sloppy: Really? I am not aware of any issues Sir.

    Mike: Well UNIT NAME is at Fort Hood, and the Battalion Commander is wondering why one of his Platoon Sergeants signed for four helicopters!

    Sloppy (Shocked): Did they request four helicopters? I can go get the equipment request…


    Sloppy (Puzzled): Okay! Did they request…

    Mike: YES. THEY DID.

    Sloppy: I don’t understand the…

    G4 Colonel: THE ISSUE IS, we needlessly shipped four helicopters across the United States…

    G3 Colonel: There are already helicopters at Fort Hood. Helicopters, AND PILOTS, there to support SPIES and FRIES training!!! THEY ARE THERE SPECIFICALLY FOR THIS TYPE OF REQUEST!

    G4 Colonel: RANK Sloppy. Did this request not look odd to you?

    Sloppy Brain: Hysterical Laughter!!!

    Sloppy: Absolutely Sir!

    Entire Room: SHOCKED FACES. Just baffled-as-fuck!

    G4 Colonel: Then why did you source it???


    Sloppy : Sir, as I understand it, IT’S NOT MY JOB TO VALIDATE. IT’S MY JOB TO SOURCE IT. Mike made it very clear on multiple occasions.

    Mike (Angry): RANK Sloppy do you realize you just cost the Army over one hundred thousand dollars to ship equipment WE DIDN’T NEED TO SHIP!?!

    Sloppy: Sir…

    G3 Colonel (Pissed Off): NO MIKE! YOU just cost the Army over on hundred thousand dollars!

    Mike: Sir…

    G4 Colonel: Mike! It is YOUR signature that authorizes allocation of money and shipping. Did you tell RANK Sloppy it’s his job to source? To not validate anything, and only source?

    Mike: Sir, I did, but…

    G4 Colonel starts walking out

    G4 Colonel: Mike! Let’s have a meeting. In my office.

    Sloppy Brain: Oh! That sounds bad.

    Sloppy Brain: Yeah, but Mike. Not us!

    Sloppy: Right!

    Sloppy retreats to desk.

    Side Note: I know the G3 Colonel. We had worked in the same unit when he was a Major.

    G3 Colonel follows Sloppy

    Sits on Sloppy’s desk.

    G3 Colonel (Laughing Hysterically) HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU DO IT?

    Sloppy: Do what?

    G3 Colonel: Find four helicopters?

    Sloppy: I called everyone. I leveraged my network of contacts, and made it my mission…

    G3 Colonel: What did your counterparts say about the request?

    Sloppy: They have the same sentiments towards Mike.

    G3 Colonel (Shaking-His-Head): Honestly? That’s impressive.

    Sloppy: Sir, I was going to get shit on either way. So I decided…fuck Mike!

    G3 Colone: Yup. Fuck Mike I guess.

    Dear Reader, thank you for reading my Petty Army Revenge (PAR). I have good news. I no longer worked for Mike after that interaction. Other misdeeds (Stories) came to light after that encounter. I had a long desk-side meeting with the G4 Colonel and fully detailed my relationship with Mike. It’s nearly impossible to “fire” Department of the Army Civilians, but it was easy to move me. The G3 Colonel found a more suitable position for an Infantrymen. It also sucked, but he gave me ample time to prepare for Assessment and Selection. I was at TBP for eighteen horrible months before I found greener pastures. I could lament on all the horrible things, but its not worth it. Why? At least I know where to go if I ever need four fucking helicopters!



    19:41 UTC


    hoisted by his own petard

    I have a friend called Kerry who just broke a story to me. Not sure if it's petty or pro revenge, or even malicious compliance, but here it is.

    Done on phone, and autocorrupt hates me. Tl:Dr at the end.

    The cast: (names have been changed to protect identities.)

    Kerry: my friend, and the heroine of the story.

    Sharon: the secretary with loose morals.

    Roger: IT manager, and villain of the story.

    Ivan: the "CEO" and company owner, also owner of three or so other small companies, one of which was in the same office block.

    Olivia: Roger's wife.

    Kerry works for a small IT company as a programmer and Web designer along with about 8 others, including her manager and her newest colleague, Sharon the secretary.

    Roger is a womanising rogue who makes frequent moderately offensive comments about women - customers and staff - like he has no brain-mouth filter.

    Sharon is, as Kerry puts it, 'an upwardly mobile skank' who will literally (yes, actually) blow the boss if he buys her new shoes, so... boner for a bonus. And she has had a bonus, just not for productivity.

    The first Kerry knew about Sharon's behaviour was late one Saturday afternoon, when everyone had left for the weekend, except Kerry as she had a project. She was beavering away at her desk in a nearly silent office when she heard a squeal. She immediately got up to investigate, and found her boss' door ajar. She heard another squeal, and walked in....

    ...Finding Sharon bent over the desk with her skirt hitched up above her hips, her boss, trousers round his ankles, balls deep behind her. (Yes, this is artistic licence, but that's how she described it)

    Roger's expression indicated fury and embarrassment and he sounded to be mid-nut. Sharon had an expression like the cat that had the cream, with no pun intended. She certainly didn't seem bothered about being caught.

    Roger recovers his composure, puts his trousers back on and called Kerry back into the room - she hadn't stopped to watch - and threatened to fire her if she let slip what she'd seen. The instruction was "Tell nobody. Act like it never happened.".

    It's important at this point to mention that this was at the height of Covid, and they were looking at the possibility of reducing staff numbers, something which fortunately never happened, but at the time of this story, nobody was sure.

    Kerry kept quiet (ooh, that's nice alliteration). Roger would occasionally remember that she knew what he was up to, and would give her dirty looks, but little more was said. Sharon and Roger were still having regular sex at work, and Sharon was getting the bonuses that the team should have received. (she was also receiving boners, but nobody would have felt jealous had they known)

    One Saturday, about 6 months after the initial 'shock discovery', an opportunity for revenge (and technically malicious compliance) presented itself. Olivia, Roger's wife, popped in. The staff were still there, and the office was busy and a bit noisy. Roger had excused himself to his office with Sharon early as he knew his wife would be in later to meet him and wanted to get his end away before she arrived. She was early.

    Olivia was standing at Sharon's desk - Sharon was the secretary, after all - and Kerry saw an opportunity. She offered to help, in the absence of the secretary, and Olivia asked to see Roger. Kerry obliged. (The next bit is a little vague, as Kerry skipped some details) but, apparently, she knows how to get past the lock on his office door, like the door frame is a little too big, and that's the vague bit.)

    Kerry was able to open the door as if it wasn't locked, and hold it open for Olivia, who walked in to see her husband screwing the secretary from behind. Olivia's eruption was one of incandescent fury, which caused Roger's excuses to melt away. He was trying to explain that it wasn't what it looked like while pulling his trousers up. Sharon, meanwhile, had tried to discreetly leave, but Olivia had turned her full wrath on Sharon's direction, so Sharon excused herself by asking Roger why he'd never told her he was married. (he had actually told her, but the ruse worked)

    Roger stared daggers at Kerry, but she told him that she'd done as he asked. She had never told anyone, and had acted as if it had never happened. Just as he'd demanded. Olivia asked what she meant, and she explained in painful detail what had been going on.

    With Olivia screaming blue murder at Roger, nobody heard the big boss, Ivan, arrive. He must have heard the ruckus and come to investigate. At this point, he'd heard enough from outside the office, and Kerry was asked to leave.

    Roger doesn't work there anymore, and neither does Sharon. Sharon was dismissed for gross misconduct, and Roger is awaiting a court date - something about fraud or embezzlement or something. Details are sketchy here. No information about his marriage. Sorry.

    Kerry is still at the company, but now works as an assistant manager to a newly appointed female manager.

    Tl:Dr manager screws around and threatened staff to keep it secret. Staff does exactly as told. Manager gets caught, humiliated and fired.

    Edit for cock-ups

    20:49 UTC


    My £8.50 revenge on my cheating, thieving ex

    When I was at uni, I started dating this guy. At first, he was wonderful. Dedicated to his studies, fun to be around, attentive, and always surprising me with things, working hard at his job etc. Then, bit by bit, things unravelled. He started skipping classes. Then he barely bothered to go at all. Worse still, he never helped around the house. Never washed up, cleaned up, did laundry – nothing. He was even fired from his job for too many no-shows. All he wanted to do was sit at home and play X-box or browse the message boards and forums (this was in the days before social media, when dinosaurs roamed the earth).

    This left me having to pick up extra shifts – sometimes double and triple shifts – all while going to class and studying. I later learned that this was a pattern for him. He’d be really dedicated to whatever he set his heart on, but then get bored, and fall back into old bad habits. Then he’d find a new passion, and rinse and repeat.

    I knew I should have ended the relationship much sooner, but I held out hope that he would snap out of it, that maybe it was just exam stress getting to him. I desperately wanted things to go back to how they were. But it was not meant to be. I caught him cheating and threw him out.

    I was so stressed with everything that it wasn’t until the next day that our joint savings account crossed my mind. There was a little over £5k in there, and bar a few hundred from him, the rest was money I had saved. I checked the account, and it was all gone.

    My ex had cleaned out the account and moved into a new flat with his side chick.

    I called the bank. There was nothing they could do. He was authorised on the account. I contacted the police, they told me there was nothing they could do since it was a joint account, so nothing criminal had happened. They suggested taking it to civil court, but said I’d probably spend more money than I got back in legal fees so it likely wasn’t worth it. My ex had stolen £5k and there was nothing I could do about it. I felt like such an idiot.

    I got even angrier when I saw his posts on various forums boasting about his new game consoles, new games, new TV’s and gadgets. All bought with MY money.

    I’m not usually a vengeful person. Petty on occasion, sure, but I’ve never wanted to exact revenge as much as I did right then. And I knew just how to do it.

    While I was a student, I temped every summer to help pay for my studies. One such job had been for a debt collection agency. The work was as shitty as you can imagine, but it paid really well, and it was only for a few months.

    My ex had been dodging debt for many years, and he was very proud of that fact. He was also proud of the fact that his debt was close to being statute barred and he hadn’t paid a penny. For those of you who don’t know, in the UK, creditors have about 6 years to collect a debt, and then it becomes statute barred – that means the money is still owed but creditors have no legal way to enforce payment (such as usings bailiffs). My ex was a few months away from reaching statute barred status. However, what a lot of people don’t know is that making a payment on that debt resets the clock. If you pay any amount, then that 6 years starts from scratch.

    Previously, I had used my insider knowledge to help him dodge the debt. Now, I would use it to hit him where it hurt.

    By the end of our relationship, I was handling everything – including his debts. I had the paperwork, so I knew who he owed and how much. I called his creditors up. I was honest and said I was a friend calling to make a payment on his behalf. I didn’t pretend to be him because that would be a big legal no-no. They weren’t allowed to disclose any details, but they were able to take payment. I paid the minimum I could on each debt – about £1 on most, but one had a minimum payment of £1.50. It was the best £8.50 I have ever spent.

    I also made sure to give them his new address and contact details, as well as his parent’s address. Having worked in ‘the biz’, I knew they wouldn’t change the address since I wasn’t the account holder, but they would note it. They had various systems where they could search for his name against that address and see if anything came up. If they got a hit, they’d change the address.

    The trap was set. All I had to do was wait.

    A few months rolled by. Then it happened. His posts on the forums went from boasting about his new gaming PC to panic about a court date.

    He called me and begged for advice. I told him to eff off.

    Seeing I wouldn’t help, he asked for advice in the forums. One of his online friends told him not to turn up to court, that way they wouldn’t be able to prosecute without him there. It was terrible advice that was 100% untrue. In fact, not showing up is one of the worst things you can do, especially in civil court. This was getting better and better.

    The court date came and went. My ex, naturally, didn’t go. A few weeks later, my ex posted photos of his empty flat. Bailiffs had cleaned him out and taken every last one of his shiny new gadgets and toys.

    On top of that, he ended up with several CCJ’s (County Court Judgements). These are a big deal and can seriously damage your credit history, making it hard to get bank accounts outside of basic ones, near impossible to get credit (including getting a mortgage), and it can also make it hard to rent a place since many landlords don’t like renting to people with CCJ’s as they’re considered high risk. He also won’t be able to find jobs in the financial sector.

    Now that he was broke and didn’t have nice things, his side chick left him.

    I never got my £5k back, but it felt good to see everything he bought with his ill-gotten gains taken away. Hope that £5k was worth it.

    For anyone wondering how a student accrued 6 years of debt, he started at the university I attended when he was 25. He had initially gone to a different university at 18 but dropped out at 19 and went into the world of work. Then he convinced his parents to fund a business degree. He wanted to become an entrepreneur. And for anyone worried about the age gap, I deferred my uni start date by a few years so I could travel. I was 22 when we started dating. He was 26.

    18:48 UTC


    Make a Developmentally Disabled Boy Cry, Lose Your Family

    My former boss is the worst human being I've ever met. He did all sorts of things to mess with anyone he didn't like.

    So a while ago I was at a family event in a local park, walking with a young boy from our family who is developmentally disabled with Down's syndrome ("Ben"). Ben does fairly well all things considered, but he's always been sensitive to anyone making fun of the way he looks or his condition. We are just having a good time on our little stroll, Ben and I both enjoying the day.

    Along comes my boss walking toward us. I'll call him "Rob". I cringe at seeing him but smile and say hello to play nice.

    Rob: There's something you don't see every day! A pair of ugly retards walking together!

    Ben bursts into tears as Rob laughs and walks off. I deal with Ben and ignore Rob. I'm super pissed and trying to calm Ben down because for a few minutes he was totally distraught. Finally I get Ben to focus on how he has me and a lot of other awesome friends and family and that Rob is a stranger and what he thinks doesn't matter.

    We walked some more and I saw that Rob was at the park with his wife and teen daughter having a cookout and he had apparently been on his way back to his family from a trip to the toilet when he saw us.

    Back to being super pissed. I went back to our gathering and talked to an adult cousin of mine, "Jake", telling him what happened. Jake wanted to get revenge on Rob, but I reminded him that this was my boss. I didn't want Rob to be able to know the revenge had anything to do with me because then he'd make my work life even worse than he already had. So Jake asked me for anything I knew about Rob that might help.

    I told Jake a bunch of things about Rob, but the relevant info here is that Rob liked to drink a particular kind of locally made beer at a certain bar. Rob had talked of having drank there on the previous Friday night while his wife and daughter were away visiting her family. Also, Rob had recently told a story at work about his wife's obsession with a particular little green fictional character. Let's call it Yaby Boda. Turns out his wife kept a stuffed Yaby Boda on their bed at all times.

    I wasn't there for the revenge setup itself because I didn't want Rob to see me, but Jake filled in the details afterward. It was basically this:

    Jake approached Rob and put an arm around his shoulders and tried to kiss him. Rob pushes him off.

    Rob: What are you doing!?

    Rob's family is now paying attention.

    Jake: I am just so excited to see you, sweetie! Friday night was so amazing!

    Rob: What are you talking about?

    Jake: Seriously, you're going to act like you don't remember now? I know you were a bit tipsy after all of those (specific local beers) at the (local bar), but certainly you remember what happened later...

    Rob: Nothing happened later! Or ever! I don't even know your name!

    Jake: Really? You were screaming it on Friday.

    Rob: (turning red) You lying son of a...

    Rob's wife (interrupting): Listen, I don't know who you are, but this is my husband. I'm sure you have him mistaken for someone else. Please just leave us alone.

    Jake: Oh no, I'm not mistaken. We had the best sex ever on Friday night and now he's acting like he doesn't even know me!

    Rob's wife: I told you, this is my husband. You're mistaken.

    Jake: Oh, maybe I am. I guess it was someone else who took me back to his place on (Rob's street) and had great sex with me on the bed right next to Yaby Boda. Sorry.

    Jake turns and walks away.

    Rob's wife: Oh my god, Rob, WTF is wrong with you! You're gay now!? Really!?

    Already long story made a bit shorter, Rob's wife wasn't real happy with him anyway and this was apparently the tipping point that made her file for divorce soon thereafter. Rob frequently complained at work in the following months about how he didn't care about his wife but really missed his daughter and how much it sucked to live in his new place compared to his old home. Every time he complained about his lack of a home life at work, I knew he did it to himself when he was mean to a developmentally disabled kid. The best part is he never figured out I was involved at all.

    17:12 UTC


    Be abusive to employees, say bye bye to your job

    My (former) boss was, simply put, an absolute fucking asshole. He was the type of person that had the ability to be so condescending while acting as if he was doing you a favour. His condescending attitude was sometimes downright abusive and he seemed to have a particular problem with all of the female employees, he acted as if they were dumb and needed assistance with every step. He loves to scream at people regardless of how little their mistake was if their even was one. He was a slave driver and expected everyone to sacrifice their own personal lives for their job. The thing that sparked this revenge was him telling me to miss my older sisters birthday to come into work on a day that I already booked off. NO ONE LIKED HIM.

    Me and all of my colleagues in the department (around 10 or so) couldn’t stand him being here anymore. So we did the protocol, all of us piled together the evidence we had of him not sticking to booked off holiday schedules, having inappropriate and sometimes abusive language and we brought it all on one google doc. This was step 1.

    Step 2 was getting a cherry on top, we did this by getting him to do one of his screaming tantrums at one of us. We wanted this to be as damning as possible and the youngest and smallest girl out of all of us volunteered to be the bait. She made an intentional beginners mistake in her paperwork, something bound to get her roared at. And the idiot took the bait. You see he likes to do his scoldings in front of all of us to prove a point or ‘rule by fear’ as he called it. This gave us the perfect opportunity to film it from behind our desks and add i to the google doc.

    Now you see, in our company there’s this really not well made email system. You can send an email to an entire department (and I mean ENTIRE) as long as you have it’s name and managers name. But the thing about this was the fact that all of this information was completely and freely given to employees, this means that a person could send whatever email they want to the entire company including the CEO.

    So one morning at 10am to ensure that as many people would be working as possible, we made a burner email and sent the google doc through an email to everyone in the company, it took a little while as there were many departments to get through but we got there in the end. We gave the email the subject: (BOSS’S NAME) VITAL INFORMATION, (BRANCH NAME), (DEPARTMENT NAME).

    Of course our boss received the email as well and you could basically hear the clutter from his office, as people all over the company were contacting him to ask him what the hell this was about.

    HR did a light investigation into him and ‘took heavy disciplinary action’, as far as I know he wasn’t directly fired but instead he resigned. And a month after that we never saw him again and he was replaced by a new guy who was also an asshole but just less of one.

    His expressions during the whole ordeal help me sleep at night.

    00:35 UTC

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