Earlier today someone knocked on my door claiming to be from a company that audits natural gas suppliers. She asked to see my gas bill to see if the current rate approved by the state is correct and to sign me up for a 5% rebate. She almost had me because she had a very official looking I.D. When I saw that the online form she wanted me to sign said it was a contract, I asked her to send it in the mail. She agreed and left

I immediately googled the company (rhymes with Schmesidents Denergy) and the first thing that came up was a Better Business Bureau report that this is a scam and the company is locking people into much higher energy rates.

So, I left my house to find the scammer and she was at a neighbor's house down the street. The wife was just about to sign the contract when I called across the yard, "Don't sign that! I'm your neighbor and this is a scam." The husband came to the door and kicked the lady off of his property.

I followed this woman and another one who was at the house next door, and called the police. I was about 30 ft behind. While I was giving a detailed description of the two women, they were on the phone with someone. A minute later, a white van came driving up, and the driver yelled at the women, "Hurry up and get in! You walk too f-cking show." The women ran and hopped in the van. The van then drove off backwards down the street so I couldn't get the license number. The whole time I was relaying all of this to the police dispatcher, who sent a car to the neighborhood.

Tldr: Scammers came to my house. I followed them down the street, interrupting their scamming and the police got involved.

The Story: I always hook up my plow whenever we have a storm in the forecast and I'll park the truck at my house so I can head out when needed. I have this dickhead of a neighbor who likes to wait until the storm ends to clear his driveway (not a bad thing) but what makes him a dickhead is that instead of blowing all the snow into his yard and not clearing the sidewalk which is a law, he blows all the snow directly into the street which then hardens to ice during Jan-Feb. Now I wouldn't care if this was a main road or in a city with DPW's dealing with but this is a neighborhood with kids and old people.

It confronted the guy after my mother fell while having to walk in the street because he doesn't clear the sidewalk and he basically told me so what and screw off. Okay.

The next storm I left my house at 4am (tue) and and didn't get back until 10pm (wed) and as you can imagine I was tired as hell and what do I get come home to, that's right the dickhead put is snow in the street again. Cue the PettyRevenge, when I saw this I was pissed so I decided to go down to the cul de sac put my plow down and scraped the road picking up more and more snow along with the snow he put in the road, then pushed it to the entrance of his driveway making a nice 4ft tall snow wall making it near impossible for a snow blower to cut through and blocking his car in. Happy with my work I go back to my house park the truck and blissfully fall asleep. I wake up to the sound of a snowblower running and dickhead was trying to blow and shovel his way out. When I left to go back to the shop an hour and a half later he was still trying to chisel his way out, I just drove by waving with a massive grin on my face.

This happened quite a few years ago but I still chuckle whenever I think about it. I was probably around 40 years old at the time and was driving to work after having dropped off my kids at school, so this would have been around 7:30 in the morning. At one point in the drive I was stopped behind a school bus containing students who looked like they were in middle school. There were three or four teenaged boys who decided to mess around with the 40ish looking woman driving her minivan behind their bus. They began gesturing seductively towards me and I could tell by the reactions of the teenaged girls at the rear of the bus that they were enjoying the show as they were laughing and encouraging the boys to continue. I considered simply ignoring them, after all they were not hurting me, however, the morning traffic became backed up so we were stuck with each other.

After sitting in the traffic jam for a while and much to the horror of the boys I began smiling and winking at them. Nothing creepy, just two or three innocent winks. The looks on the boy’s faces were priceless! The girls immediately switched from laughing at me to laughing at the boys. At this point I blew the boys a single kiss. The girls became hysterical and the boys went back to their seats. As the traffic began moving the boys were nowhere to be seen. I smiled all the way to the office!

This is the story how I got two different people fired from a good job. I work for a tech company and we have LOTS of cameras in our building. We have a lunch room which also has cameras. Not hidden. They are litterally clearly there. After a particularly long and busy day (one where I didnt have time to eat lunch) I finally had a few minutes to sit down and eat. I go to the communal fridge and my food is gone. So I am starving and exhausted. No food. Im pissed. What the thief didnt bank on, was that the one meal that he shouldnt have stolen was mine, A Senior Manager who had access to more cameras at my finger tips than people know about. Same thing happened a few months later. Both fired within a few days. Dont steal food from work. You never know who you could be stealing from.

Background: my husband and I (30s) have lived in our apartment for 2.5 years. It's a small apartment building that's quite old a bit run-down but it's relatively cheap and in a nice area so we are ok with it. In the time we've lived here we've never caused any trouble. We always pay rent on time, no noise complaints, we don't complain when the landlords take WEEKS to complete minor and major repairs, etc. Our landlords have always been very rude. I know most landlords are assholes and I can deal with that, but we are very respectful tenants so I believe we deserve some respect in return. For context, we have 2 landlords: there's the "Mom-landlord" (75-ish year old woman) and "Son-landlord" (50-ish year old man).

Now for the past several days the property has been having its parking lot dug up and it will be repaved soon. Son-landlord told all the tenants that during this time there will be a small designated area of the parking lot where we can park and if there are no spots available then we can park in the grass next to the lot. Last night my husband came home from work and all the spots were full so he parked in the grass behind my car, as we were explicitly told to do.

Well, early this morning I am woken by a call from Mom-landlord. She never calls us so I was confused and a bit worried because it was so early. As soon as I picked up and said hello she starts screaming at me through the phone, "Whose car is that in the grass?!! It shouldn't be in the grass!! HVNCNE@PGFA;EFJCKEA!"

I tried calmly explaining the situation and said it was my husband's car. She continues screaming, "it doesn't matter whose car it is!!" And I'm thinking, BITCH, you just came at me asking whose car it was! She was yelling at me that we can't park in the grass because we'll damage the sprinkler system. I'm confused because in the 2.5 years we've lived here we've never seen a single drop of water come up out of the ground and the grass was brown and crunchy throughout the entire summer this year lol. I didn't say any of this to her though, I just told her I would go move the car but she didn't seem to want to hear that and continued screaming and eventually hung up before letting me get a word in edge-wise. I immediately moved the car but then about 30 minutes after all this she texted me and she threatened she'd have the car towed next time. If she had just politely and calmly asked me to move the car I would have no problem but she's not capable of being polite and kind. Her son is only slightly better but I didn't have to deal with him today.

It just really pissed me off because I don't think I or anyone else who lives here deserve to be spoken to that way. So here is my very petty revenge: we pay all utilities except for heat. For whatever reason the landlords cover the heating bill. I've always tried to be respectful of this and keep the windows closed when the heat is on even though I HATE when the house is hot and stuffy (we don't get to control the temperature) and prefer the cool breeze from outside. In the past I would only open our bedroom window a small crack at night so I could sleep comfortably. Well now I am keeping the windows FULLY OPEN whenever I want, especially the ones right above the old radiators. Even if I'm cold, I'll just wrap myself in one of our many blankets!

These people own several properties and are very wealthy so there's a good chance they'll never even notice. Hence why I think my revenge is very petty. I'm not going to continue being uncomfortable in the stuffy heat if you can't speak to me with some basic decency, especially when your own damn son told us to park in the grass!! Enjoy the slight increase in your heating bills this winter.

I use to be the day manager for a small gym. The job was fine and only major downside was how cheap the owners were. One day a customer clogged the toilet (the only toilet in the small gym) and that's how I found out that there was no plunger. So in a panic I jogged to the dry cleaners up the street, asked the very nice owner if I could borrow her plunger while acknowledging to her that that was a weird and embarrassing thing to ask to borrow. Ok so toilet unclogged, plunger returned, and before the end of my shift I called the owners to tell them what happened and that we needed a plunger asap. They promise that they will buy a plunger and of course never do. I had to do the jog of shame to borrow the dry cleaner's plunger one other time. I had no access to their petty cash and didn't trust them enough to assume that they'd pay me back if I bought one with my own money. The gym closed half-day on Sundays and that's when the owners would come in to do whatever business owner-things they were supposed to be doing. Anyway, one of them clogged the toilet really badly somehow, and oh no the dry cleaners closed on Sundays. The owners told me later that "there was sh*t and water everywhere" and that they had to spend the rest of that Sunday cleaning up. They bought two plungers and I quit not long after.

My residence is in close proximity to this establishment and we share a common wall but it is about 3.5 feet high. So you can see the walkway in that establishment and anyone who walks there can see our apartment(Which is on the ground floor). The walkway had a back entrance to the establishment which lately has become the main entrance for clients and it is quite busy now. Over the time, the employees and clients of the establishment started using this walkway as a space to have breaks and make phone calls and in India, people are generally excessively loud and do not care about others' personal space. Several complaints to the persons in charge of the organisation were in absolute vain. So I decided that every time someone decides to talk on the phone loudly near my apartment, I turn on rock music (Generally AC/DC) to full volume, and on some occasions raps of Eminem. Needless to say the area clears up in 3 mins because its too loud to have a conversation.

Plus here's the mini-cherry on top of the regular cherry, on top of the sundae of awesomeness, I now know all the verses to the real slim shady!

A few years back I lived with an absolute asshole who abused his partner and also me, the flatmate. He would make comments like “you are always eating, piggy” to me when I would get a snack out of the fridge and “I’m sick to death of you you fat lazy cow” when I would ask him to clean up the kitchen or bathroom after using it. One day I got so sick of this, and devised a plan. He had came home and started gaming on his Xbox for about half an hour, eating some kfc while talking really loudly about me, and he knew I was home. He left the house and I didn’t know how long for, so I rushed to the fridge and got out his kfc and pushed about 8-10 fresh toenail clippings I had prepared beforehand into the chicken he hadn’t yet eaten. I waited in my room for about 20 mins and then I heard the front door unlock. He was home again and back on the Xbox, finishing his kfc. I went out to get a drink of water and to subtly check he was devouring that kfc. He had eaten it all in record time. I went back to my room and smiled. He also never refunded my $800 bond I assumed he lodged with tenancy services so I never got that back even after leaving. So the toenail clippings were definitely worth it 😌 pure evil.

So a little background: About 4 years ago I had my first boyfriend, and because I was a young and dumb teenager, I didn’t want to lose him under any circumstances. One of these circumstances happened to be his “best girl friend” repeatedly sending him nudes, him not telling her no because he “didn’t want to make it weird”, and me pretending to be fine with it. I was a dumbass, and of course I just didn’t want to believe he was cheating on me. The relationship ended up lasting over a year and a half and we broke up on his terms. Only after I was out did I realize how miserable I was.

Fast forward to today, and I’m completely over the situation. I have a great boyfriend, getting good grades during my first year of college, and I work at a very popular coffee chain that rhymes with FarDucks on campus.

I’m making drinks at the bar when I see her walk in. I smile, and by her smile back I can tell that she has no memory of me at all. It’s the girl who my ex cheated on me with. She orders a caramel Frappuccino. No biggie. Part of me didn’t want to make her drink, but the other part of me realized I could get a small amount of that sweet cold revenge with this situation.

For blended ice drinks, we have a base syrup that we add that makes it so the ice doesn’t separate from the drink. It’s thick, basically all sugar, and decides the consistency of the drink. So what did I do? I added 2 extra pumps of the base to her drink, while doing one less of the caramel syrup. Nothing that would get me in trouble, I could just say I forgot for a second, but her frappe might taste just a little bit off and too watery.

The rush of adrenaline kept me going for the rest of the night.

Tl;dr a girl who my ex used to cheat on me with ordered a Frappuccino at my coffee store so I made it overly sweet and watery

This is a story of petty revenge.

tl;dr some kids have been prank calling my business so know they're learning all about King County, Washington.

So I'm the manager at a late night chicken and waffle place in the gayborhood. Our waffles are “anatomically correct” and as such, we have some fun. It's good food, good atmosphere, and good customers.

Well, as should be expected, a group of kids (young teens by the sound) constantly prank call us. Usually just thinking they're funny by calling us ‘gay’ or whatever stupid shit. For the most part we play with them. One of us likes to fuck with them, I like to answer their questions honestly and in excruciating detail (not graphic cause they're kids), one of us likes to mock them for not having anything better to do. It's all in good fun and no one gets hurt.

After several hangups, we will unplug the phone, which means all the calls are then forwarded to my cell (yay for being the manager). So by the end of the night, I'll have dozens of missed calls, some of which are important but I ignored because I didn't want to deal with the kids.

This is has been going off and on for almost a year now, and I finally hit my limit. I wanted to waste their time like they've wasted mine.

Problem is, they're kids, so I can't go too extreme. Can't post the number on Craigslist selling a TV or apartment or whatever because I don't want a creep getting ahold of their number. That's not ok. Meanwhile, I don't want to send any religious things to them because that could also backfire.

So what's a service that calls and/or texts relentlessly about everything. What about services utilizing tax dollars and needing to justify the spending? Why, local governments do that!

After some googling, I found that King County in Washington state has a robust information providing service! And all they need is a phone number!

So here I am thinking, these kids will get so annoyed getting info on local elections for Seattle. Oh no, no, no friends.

They provide updates on traffic, local elections, water services, road closures, waste management, a newsletter about wetland conservation, parks and rec, public transit, the judges, taxes, what the accountants are doing, the school board, and about 600 other boxes I clicked to be informed about anything and everything related to Seattle and surrounding towns.

And the best part? They will have to unsubscribe to each and every single text. “But can't they unsubscribe from the master list?” you might ask. Of course they can, online. And I created the account using the kid's number and my own Password. And there's no way they'll guess it, as it's a computer generated password. Whoops.

I really hope this inspires them to want to move to that beautiful corner of the country.

Will they stop calling me? God, no. They aren't learning any lessons. But they will be just as annoyed as I am. And that's worth it.

ETA:

1. the store is a landline and it forwards to my phone, so no one has access to my number. Even on my voicemail, I say "if you are calling me, please text, if you're calling [store] I'm sorry I missed..."
2. we are all located in Chicago, based on the kid's number being a Chicago area code.
3. I'm saying "kids" but they're probably teens. My guess is middle school or early high school. So old enough to know what they're doing.
4. "anatomically correct" means the waffles are shaped like cock and twats. Just google Chicago and cock waffle and you'll find me. And if you do do this, please engage with our social media! Shameless plug, I know. But we're a tiny business so any uptick in engagement is huge. Just, like, don't mention this lol
5. the zipcode I used for the updates is the same one as Pike's Place. So lots and lots and lots and lots of dumbass tourists causing traffic issues 😀

While I appreciate petty revenge that takes a while to carry out, this is a much more simple, quick story that culminated due to "the consequences of your actions" with one particular team that my team has been having problems with.

Context: I (34f) have a nickname at work with the new hires that we hired on earlier this year, which is "Work Mom". One new hire (I'll call her G, 34f) started it because I had literally everything on hand at my desk to help her when she randomly got stung by a bee. I love it because that sums me up in a nut shell personality wise. I tell our team and teams we work closely with that if they ever need something from my desk or coffee nook, that they're welcome to it and to just tell me when they had to take something after the fact.

G is also very kind and caring and loves making connections with our teams and trying to help out in anyway she can so that she can be as well rounded of an employee as possible. It's great and her and I work off of each other very well due to this. From what little I can tell about my work, I'm in QA (Quality Assurance) and majority of our time every year is spent doing quarterly audits. Normally, they go over very well and quickly and we have no issues. But, when we do have issues, we write them down as Datasheets to be resolved at some point by the team that screwed up. Often times it's as simple as "Hey you guys have a new procedure, but you didn't update any of your SOPs (Standard Operating Procedures), can you please do that?" Or "Hey, there was a massive re-org of your team, update that." And the worst offender being "Everyone's training is late, please get everyone up to date".

However, 1 such team that another team member of mine deals with, is definitely seen as the main Problem Child when it comes to these Datasheets. It's worse than pulling teeth with them to get them to reply and even update us on what is going on with their progress. And 1 person in particular, is an absolute Cee U Next Tuesday and causes more issues than he's worth; I'll call him Neckbeard, because if you recall the South Park WoW episode, he is THAT Neckbeard guy. Don't know his age, but it's close to our age for sure. This is where the petty revenge starts.

G would often go over there to see how she could help that team with work and audits coming up, and also because one of the guys on the team was a friend of her's, outside of being friendly to each other at work, they text each other quite a bit. I had met him too when he came over for birthday cake I made for G and thought he was pretty cool as well. This one day, G went over to see if she could help with their progress on the 7 Datasheets this team has against them and brought Halloween candy with her that we keep in a cauldron I brought in (I'm one of the office Goths/Witches, lol).

Upon entering their small lab area across the hall from us, the whole Problem Team grabs some of the candy, and when G turns to the Neckbeard and asks "Any chance I could help you with those Datasheets?", Neckbeard literally WAVES HER OFF and says "Be gone." The entire team, plus G's friend, LAUGH at her, so she thinks Neckbeard is kidding at first and kinda nervously laughs with them; but then they laugh harder.

G stops and looks at Neckbeard and says "Wait, you're serious?" To which he replies "Yeah, I don't need your fucking help, I know everyone has been breathing down my neck about these things. So be gone, you're dismissed." Still waving his hand dismissively at her.

She comes back to our cube, tells me the whole exchange with a fed up look on her face, and begins to gather her things so she can head home for the day and continue work from there. To say that I became overcome with Mama Bear rage is an understatement. But, this is where Neckbeard fucked up. Because, you see, I was put in charge of tracking the Datasheets progress and sending out weekly emails informing not only the teams responsible for them, but their supervisors and managers as well. And Neckbeard's Datasheets are going to be 2 years late come the 1st quarter of the new year (2025).

And because of my tracking sheet, our new manager has been incredibly happy with the new communication between all the teams that have Datasheets against them. And apparently Neckbeard lied to our manager in saying that he was almost done with the Datasheets, and he said he was in active communication with the QA team about them.

So, I calmed down, I sought out our QA Lead and updated him of the situation, and then I went to our supervisor. Our supervisor, JUST came out of a meeting about the Problem Team and their outstanding Datasheets, so when he saw the look of hate and discontent on my face, he knew something was wrong. So, he then started a new email to our manager and the Problem Team's supervisor to let them know what just happened. Oh, and G's friend that also laughed at her? He must have figured out that he fucked up, because he swung by shortly after the incident and asked if she was still in office. I just smiled at him and said "No, she left"; and he cursed under his breath and took off back towards the lab.

That was about end of last week, that this occurred. And my update on what is going to happen to Neckbeard is satisfying, to me at least. Now, if you work where I do, it's known that you're allowed to work from home, so long as you can be contacted and you get your shit done when it's due. I go in 3 days a week just to give myself a break from being at home. My Lead informed me, that the Problem Team's work from home privileges are being entirely revoked, they MUST be in during certain hours of the day (which is another slap in the face, cuz we can log in whenever we please), and any PTO they had planned is now being rejected and they're all being written up. This will also probably fuck with any future raises they may get.

Moral of the story: don't be a dick to someone just trying to help you.

I had a workmate who was terribly naughty.

He would play pranks, particularly on me, as I was a good victim.

A couple of months after I started work here, he left a note for me to call a person, when I got back from lunch. I asked the local crematorium for 'Myra Mains'. I saw John wetting himself, from the corner of my eye. The story got relayed around the whole workplace. I was pretty embarrassed, but had a good laugh too.

He would sneak up behind you, while you were tethered to your phone, taking a call from a customer, and drop his guts.. leaving you stuck in his fumes... for sooooo long. Awful.

He was full of shenanigans.

One time a workmate got him back terribly for a bunch of his pranks. And he blamed me... he was furious! My colleague "B" used a photo going around on the web, of a 'nice silver teapot' for sale. He put the picture on the work intranet, on the buy/sell page, saying... teapot for sale, call John with John's phone no. The intranet wasn't that smart at that point, and you could post under pseudonyms... hence B assumed John's persona.

John got heaps and heaps of calls about a teapot, he had no idea he had for sale.

When John (and everyone else) looked at the photo, they could see the grainy reflection of a portly male in what appeared to be bondage gear.

And people quite rightly thought it was John!!!

He naturally assumed it was me. He rang me up, furiously telling me he was going to get me back, so badly. I fucken know it was you, I'm gonna get you back. I told John that I wasn't smart enough to orchestrate an attack like that!

Well, the silly pranks continued. John continued to sneak up and fart, do other minor annoying things to me and others.

So, this is where I got John back a bit...

I had to go out to a complaint about an offensive odour coming from a garden supply place, where piles of shucked mussels were stinking. My job is to assess whether the odour was offensive and whether their activity was reasonable and complying.

I tried very hard to avoid the ooze coming from the piles of mussels, and as far as I could tell I did.

Visit over, and I hopped in the car. Wow, there was a nasty smell coming from somewhere on me. I checked my jacket. Nothing. I sniffed generally and yik, appears to be from my boots. It must have accumulated generally from the yard of the garden supplies place. The longer I was stuck in the confined air of the car, the uglier it got.

Returning to the office, I thought, yikes, this is not going to be good. People will be pretty shitty with me. Then, it came to me. John was away that day and his office was unoccupied. I don't know why he had an office, when the rest of us were sardined up. So I then proceeded to scrub my boots across the floor, in a very tight grid pattern. Back and forth, back and forth. I then closed the door and left his room as is.

Later, someone went into John's office to take a call. I knew it was a goodie, when afterwards, they complained about something unpleasant in John's room, wondering if he'd done something repulsive in there.

Next day, John returned. The stink in his office had really hung around. He decided he couldn't work in there, and went in and out regularly to see whether the stench had changed. Poor John was regularly complaining, loudly, wondering if someone had planted something in his room.

I never admitted it, until John left and he had to know that it was me!!! He loved it.

(Sorry if this isn't the best writing you've ever seen, i'm not to good at writing)

This story takes places in high school when a 16 year old me was truly in love with his future wife, cringe i know.

Back in 2016 i was dating a girl, lets call her Hailey, for at least 2 months. I thought everything was great, i was happy she was happy our friend group was happy everything seemed perfect.

Then one day whilst at school one of the girls in our friend group, we'll call her Emily, came up to me and said that she thinks Hailey is cheating on me with some guy that went to a nearby school. Of course i thought it was bs and being the nieve 16 year old i dismissed it without listening.

Fast forward 2 weeks later, i was walking down the street with my mum and brother when i saw Hailey with another guy. At first i thought maybe he was just a friend of hers until i saw her kiss him with full tongue, on a side note if your gonna tongue kiss someone pls don't do it IN A GROCERY STORE, i was in denial. I was angry, confused, depressed and it felt like life wasn't worth it anymore. I ended up calling Emily and just said "you were right" Emily immediately rushed over to my place gave me a hug and said it's ok, before u ask no nothing happened between us we had a sister brother kind of friendship, i asked Emily how long she suspected Hailey was cheating and Emily said "i've known for a month" i of course lashed out at her and felt betrayed by her luckily Emily calmed me down and we just talked, Emily told me everything she knew the guy was from another school his name was Keith (fake name) ect ect. Emily was my rock during all of this

The Revenge: After about 3 days of going no contact with Hailey i began plotting my revenge, i wanted her to feel some of the pain i felt when i saw her. Now fun fact about Hailey, she had a younger sister, lets call her Molly, who was obsessed with me, it was very easy to see even to the densest of ppl that this girl was crazy for me, it made me uncomfortable during me and Hailey's relationship but i put up with it for her. I think u can already tell where this is going. i started texting Molly, i started texting Molly a lot, we would sometimes text late at night and we sort of became friends.

After a month of texting and pretending to care about Hailey i made my move on Molly, i started sending flirty texts and she did to eventually, flirty texts turned into pics and i finally told Molly what my intentions were, i told her that i wanted to cheat on Hailey with her and to my suprise Molly said "that b*tch deserves that after what she's been doing to u" my assumption with that has always been that Molly knew.

We both started planning for us to meet, we ultimately decided to meet at my place on Hailey's birthday. On the day i texted Hailey "hey i can't come to your birthday party i'm sick and vomitting" all the while Molly was on her way over. When Molly showed up we started making out and i'll leave out the rest. Naturally i told Molly to take a picture of us kissing full tongue in my bed so she could give Hailey a birthday present from both of us.

The result was glorious, Hailey called me over and over to which i ignored it. Eventually i picked up and gaslit the Hel out of her, she started crying saying "how could u do this to me with my sister" and i simply said "ask Keith" and hung up.

We of course broke up, Molly and i never really dated or anything we didn't have that kind of attraction. Molly and Hailey hated each other for years and i ended up moving to a different town and a different school.

I wish i could tell u that Hailey's life was horrible after this event but life isn't the way u want it to go. I randomly reunited with both Molly and Hailey years later as adults and would u believe it Hailey was getting married and Molly was her Maid of Honour. We caught up, chatted, Hailey apologised and I apologised and things seemed good, when me and Molly were alone we talked about how life had been going and she said "damn we were dumb kids" and that was that.

Last i heard of Hailey she's happily married with a 1 year old, Molly is focusing on her career and i'm happy with my partner who i'm looking to propose to in a couple months.

TL;DR I refused to be bamboozled into taking a job for a shyster. He lost his job as a result.

Many years ago I was headhunted by a local company for a senior IT role. I agreed to meet the CEO for a coffee in a hotel lobby and spent about 2 hrs discussing my past and the company's needs. All was going well. At some point I thought I detected an odd vibe but by the end of the meeting I was sure that was just me being nervous.

There was some urgency to filling this post and I was asked to take a tour of their office building the next day, so I could get a better feel for what I'd be taking on. I agreed.

That night I thoroughly examined the web site for the company and printed a few pages which I thought may be useful, but I wasn't sure if I'd use/need. Those pages were in my pocket the next day when my "tour" was to begin.

Well, this tour wasn't a tour at all. It was a formal interview with a very serious looking quorum of the board of directors. To say I felt ambushed is putting it mildly. The CEO had promised a tour but instead I find myself sitting on the lonely side of a big walnut table, mostly unprepared.

I answer a few questions and start to formulate my plan of action. There is no way I'm ever going to work for a company that lured me to interview under false pretexts so I've nothing to lose.

I steer the conversation to web site security and how important it is to be on top of threats. I emphasise the roles and responsibilities of the governing structures, and people. Then I pull out a couple of pages of their customer's very sensitive personal data which I'd obtained within a few mins the previous evening, proving how shit their security was.

The HR director and the Chair of the board leave the room with the CEO in tow. There are some raised voices down the corridor but I can't hear what's being said. After a few mins they return, minus the CEO. I wrapped up the interview by wishing them all the best finding someone to take the job and left the pages in the middle of the big boardroom table.

I'm posting this here because I was clueless at the time and it felt petty to me, but my parents recently told me the full story and it cracks me up.

When I was in later elementary school, my parents had to move in with family for other reasons, so my younger siblings and I switched from a tiny, 20-kids-per-grade school in our first town to a much larger one in our second. One thing that this second school advertised was its "Gifted and Talented program."

My little undiagnosed autistic self was considered gifted at my first school, but they were really too small to do anything about it so they'd give me workbooks for the year, I'd complete them in a couple of months, and then I'd sit in the back of the room with my notebook and make observations on my classmates so that I could make friends (it didn't work). Fortunately I had a teacher who noticed this and started giving me harder and harder things to do. I had skipped a grade earlier so the school didn't want to promote me again. I'm going to be honest, I recall liking learning, disliking being bullied, and honestly having a pretty happy time in early elementary.

Then we moved and I was again really bored. I made it my mission to memorise things (at one point I had the entire list of words in the A section of our class dictionary memorised, it was completely useless but I found this activity calming). My parents noticed that I was spending most of my class hours memorising and not making friends and thought "Hey let's ask to put her in the gifted program and hopefully she'll meet some likeminded peers."

Well the school had an issue with this. The school has had issues with my family in general because rich WASPy town and my family was not white and not as rich (we could afford our house by having multiple divisions of our extended family in it together) and they've gone on the record saying some racist stuff about us, but I at least didn't know this at the time. So my parents ask the gifted teacher and she says no, because to get into the gifted program you need to have this annual test done halfway through the year dating back to kindergarten that I hadn't done as I had been at another school. My parents produce all my school records and ask if I can take the later tests to make up for it and she says no.

Now my parents are annoyed. The annual test date rolls around and, because my regular teacher wasn't aware that any of this had happened, I take the gifted diagnostic test with all my classmates. Apparently I do really well, better enough than my classmates that my regular teacher goes to the gifted teacher and asks if she'd please just let me into the program (also probably so that he didn't have to deal with me for quite as much of the day). Gifted teacher says no.

Regular teacher was cool enough with my family that he schedules a meeting with the gifted teacher and the principal and asks if they'd please just let me into the program, but the gifted teacher still says no (and later when regular teacher retired he told us that she had plenty of room in the program and was taking students who had scored below me, but she 'didn't like the way I looked at her'), and principal says it's up to gifted teacher. Then gifted teacher apparently says that I had cheated on the test, which is why I did so well.

This concerns principal so she has gifted teacher give me the test again. At this point, all I know is that I have to take another test. They pull me out of class to take a similar test again in the hallway. I was confused but not really questioning it. I do the test again.

Apparently I did just as well, and principal starts to question gifted teacher, saying maybe we were all making a lot of fuss and she should just let me into the program. Gifted teacher says that I must've cheated on the second test. Principal says that, if I'm cheating that much, they really should launch an investigation.

They called me down to their office, with my parents (who were getting really sick of this and kind of regretting asking me to be in the program) and principal asked me a lot of questions about the two tests I had taken. I answered them well enough. We were going nowhere, with neither proof that I had cheated nor evidence that I hadn't, until at one point somebody asked if I recalled being confused by the questions, and I basically said, "No they all made sense. The first one asked about this and I answered with this. The second asked about that and my thought process was that."

I guess I was so used to just memorising everything because I was bored that I ended up memorising most of both tests. After reciting all the questions I could remember (which my parents say were most of them) as well as my answers and logic in answering them, the principal looked at the gifted teacher and said, "I don't know if she's gifted but her brain definitely works differently, and you could do a lot with that." Gifted teacher turned really red and I ended up joining the program.

It was a miserable experience and gifted teacher ended up using my younger sister's disability against her in an awful way but I still sometimes laugh at how red her face got.

When I was a poor college student in Boston, I lived in a brownstone in the back bay that had been divided up into a bunch of apartments. The only one I could afford was a tiny studio with the quirk that the room had its own bathroom, but it was out in the hall. The landlord made it clear that it was my bathroom and being a 20 something guy I didn't really care. I didn't really care, that is, until my toilet paper started disappearing. I would sit down to use the bathroom and then to my shock the whole roll would be gone. It wasn't hard to figure out that one of my neighbors was going into the bathroom (which could only be locked from the inside) and stealing my toilet paper.

After this happening a few times, I had an idea. I took a roll of toilet paper and unrolled a few feet of it on my apartment floor. I had bought a jar of sliced jalapeños and put the liquid in a spray bottle and sprayed the toilet paper and let it dry overnight before rolling it back up. It looked totally like a normal roll of toilet paper when I placed it. For the next few days I brought my own toilet paper to the bathroom and eagerly watched for when the thief had taken the roll sprayed with the jalapeño juice. After about a week, the roll disappeared and I admit the devilish joy still makes me happy to remember. And yes, I never had a problem with having my toilet paper stolen again.

I previously posted part of this over on r/traumatize them back. Here, I've expanded it to share the origins of my pain. We've all had to deal with them, coming around and telling us how wrong we are and how they can straighten us out, whether they're kooky family members or traveling strangers...

For background, I lost my Granny to some dumb cult. My oldest and youngest aunts looped her into the shit and convinced her to sell everything she had and run off to the Holy Land with them, to await the coming of the End of the World at some place called "The Aerie" (that's an eagle's nest, an aerie). Before this, my brother and I would take turns spending Friday night with her, rummaging through the insanely varied souvenirs collected over a few decades of being a travel agent- tribal masks and weapons from Africa and South America and Asia, snacks from scores of different countries, stories like squat toilets in SE Asia and the first Coca Cola vendors in China who had one glass, repeatedly used and washed, used and washed, for a few ounces of Coke... Saturday morning, we'd eat savory-spiced popcorn for breakfast and watch Saturday Morning Cartoons, starting with the Smurfs. My younger cousins didn't know this Granny; they just knew the kook who turned Every Damn Sentence into some shit about Jesus. She was simply insufferable when the world didn't end and came back to America. I was back from college when she stayed with us for a while (no more belongings, no townhome, no car, no job, just Jesus). And for all of my love for her, for all of the good memories, the reverence for the Grand Mom who divorced the mean bastard Grand Father of the family back when women in this country didn't do that, I just couldn't sit there and have every conversation hijacked to Jesusville. I finally realized that my Granny was gone, that this was a different person now. When I finally snapped, I stopped her in mid-sentence, "But Jesu..." with "Granny, I love you dearly but we don't talk anymore. We don't have conversations or reminisce or tell stories. I say something and you say "Jesus". And that's not a relationship. That's not human interaction. So we're gonna do something different now. Anytime, every time you say "Jesus", I'm gonna say "buttsex". And I did. For the next four months she lived with us and forever after that. And I hope to hell she told Jesus about it every damn night!

Second Part: Young Mormons each take a missionary year out into the wilderness to share their gospel with us heathens. At the end of that year, they pass their bicycle and helmet down to the next kid in line.

I worked in a bicycle shop that, for whatever reason, was known amongst these intrepid peckerwoods, so I saw lots of them. And, for anyone who doesn't know a bike geek, we spot specific bikes like cowboys spot specific horses, so I got to recognize a lot of those bikes.

When I moved into my own apartment, I moved to the open-minded part of town (it's been called "the Gayborhood"), on the ground floor of a small six-plex right on the main drag; I could look out my front door at downtown, with bars, clubs, and pawn shops lining the street along the way. Lots of heathens in my 'hood.

So, with this easy access and this seeming "need for Jeebus", my door was an easy mark for missionaries.

Early one hot Saturday afternoon, I got a knock at my door. There were two missionaries outside, uniformly-garbed and identifiable in their short-sleeved white button-up shirts, khakis, backpacks, and bike helmets; I recognized the bikes they were riding and I knew what they were about to say... As they asked their same old question about their same old gospel, I smiled, came outside and showed them how to lock their bikes more securely before shooing them inside, "It's hot already, boys!".

I sat them down and got Blue Bell ice cream and bowls and spoons. "Pepsi?" I asked from the kitchen; "Please!" came the reply (Mormons don't do coffee or tea but caffeinated soda somehow straddles a line for them- some do, some don't).

So I serve them and settle down with my own. For folks that have few indulgences, ice cream and cold Pepsi is just fun for this heathen to watch them with... Big smiles all around. I stifled the urge to play some music, didn't have the TV on, just let them enjoy.

When they finished their scoop of ice cream each (vanilla, natch) and had stopped sweating, they each took a moment to look at each other and then at me.

Sensing what was about to happen, I gently took the initiative; "Brothers. (oratorical pause) Brothers, where Our Almighty God sees all, what is the one thing that makes every man and woman equal?"

They looked at each other, almost in amazement, thinking their day was about to get productive, or at least interesting. I watched as they processed this stimulus, almost as if I could hear them tingling.

Before the more forward one could answer, I again took the initiative and answered my own question: "Brothers, under the eyes of Our Lord, buttsex renders equal every man and woman upon His earth."

And, like Lot's wife turning into a pillar of salt before my very eyes, FWOOSH!! those two chairs were instantly vacated, with naught left behind but two clouds of vapor shaped like sprinting missionaries and a little spilled ice cream.

But that old carpet had seen much, MUCH worse...

So this is a small, but ongoing Petty Revenge on one of my neighbors. So this neighbor loves to work on cars and has an extensive tool collection that he is very meticulous about. I will occasionally borrow tools and always make sure they are returned pristine. Well a while back, he accused me of losing one of his wrenches, which I absolutely did not. Maybe he let someone else borrow it and forgot. Regardless, he holds it against me and loves to nag me about it.

Cue petty revenge. Now, every once in a while when I'm over at his house I'll snatch a small tool. Maybe a 10mm socket, or a 3/4 inch allen wrench. I'll hold it hostage for a bit then return it and snatch another small tool. But I know that the fact that it is missing will drive him up the wall. He will probably spend an hour tearing apart his garage looking for it, then low and behold it just happens to find it's way home. I know I'll eventually get caught and we will laugh about it over some beers, but right now I'm having some petty enjoyment at his expense.

Back at a previous employer I was a Training Specialist and I was pretty good at it. I love to share information and help people understand things that are new or difficult for them. Good rapport with all staff and new hires.

Our company hired an outside contractor to take over a portion of the business that was unprofitable but, expected in our industry (people want it even though it may not be the best product for them or it is used short term).

A few weeks after the switch, the company realized that the new group did not know how to handle our customers. Example: We were not allowed to say "No.". It was "I'll see what I can do."

It was decided that they would send a team of people to train them on what our customers expected and how to handle them. I was chosen to be part of that team. But, there was a problem - I was hourly.

Cue corporate greed. They decided to promote me and make me salary. Okay. Now, I can't claim any extra hours for the upcoming trip. It became expected and part of the day. I decided with the small bump in pay - I wouldn't complain and just accept it.

Trip went well. In fact, everything flowed nicely. We returned and I had to fill out my first expense report. During the trip I made an effort to save money and chose to go grocery shopping instead of restaurants for all my meals. I liked the control of it too - I knew what I was getting. Big mistake.

My total expense report for the time away was $268.00. Do you think they paid it? [Insert laughter here].

Over the course of six weeks, I would submit the report and they would send it back with one item declined and asking me to fix it and resubmit. Over and over again. At one point - going into the 3rd or, 4th week - I needed that little bit of money to cover the last part of my rent and after letting them know the bind I was in - their response was "Next time, you should consider declining the trip if it would put you in that type of financial bind." Ugh.

I read the whole expense report section line by line - making sure they couldn't/wouldn't send it back again. I am a bit of a gym rat and did visit their local gym during the visit. At first, I left it off the expense report - just a few bucks - eh. Luckily, I saved that receipt and added it during one of the later revisions. They attempted to deny it and I quoted the portion of the handbook that showed it is an approved expense (they were not happy).

[Insert heartbreaking tiny violin music for the Accounts Payable Department]

When all was said and done, I got a check for $84.00.

I was livid.

I thought about what I could do and chose the following:

• Being a vanpool driver, after our morning meeting I would take the van and drive to a nearby coffee shop to get my morning latte. Inside the building coffee was suddenly deemed inferior and undrinkable. I would even take people with me - a morning excursion.
• My lunch break stretched to 90 minutes. I would bring the LA Times with me and after eating - sit in my cubicle and read.
• And, finally - I slowed down on my work. Purposely, dragging my feet to get any and all projects completed. It was so relaxing.

This went on for many-a-day until one day - while reading the paper - I got the thought. "That's enough." Back to a being a regular, normal good employee.

Sad/Interesting thing in all this? They didn't even notice. Because I was already established and had good rapport with everyone - life went on. I got my money's worth - learned a valuable lesson and got my revenge without nary a peep from the peanut gallery...

My last girlfriend, a few years ago was not "computer smart". She had me show her how to use iTunes and upload songs that she wanted onto her iPhone.

I have an extensive music library so I took the time to copy the entire thing to her computer and then asked her what songs she wanted.

Twenty three... out of thousands of songs, she only wanted to listen to twenty three songs. Ok, fine. Red flag number one, but a very soft red flag. People are free to listen to what they want.

This was after a few months of the relationship. Another few months later, and I see her being shady and hide her phone.

So I take a look. She's having an emotional affair with an ex that she swore she never, EVER, interacted with. OK, technically she said she never "spoke with", but if you want to split that hair, then you can stop reading now.

So at this point, I'm out. We ain't living together, and the relationship is less than nine months old. I'll live, even though it hurts.

So I stay the night for one last hurrah, and once we've done the deed and she's fallen asleep, I sneak down to her home office and log onto her computer. I first delete 100% of the music I copied except for one song. It's a rarely known song by an artist named Rick Astley. You probably have never heard of it.

I then copied the song 22 times and renamed each copy, plus the original to one of the songs on her tiny playlist. Hey, Ya? How about Hey, Rick!

And Betty when you call me, you can call me RICK!

Wheel in the Sky keeps on Rick Rolling.

You get the idea. No matter what song she chose, she got my boy Ricky.

Then I synched it with her iTunes and her phone.

I left in the morning and never spoke with her again, but I sometimes wonder how long it took her to unfuck her songlist, considering she no longer had the mp3's. Maybe her Ex helped her figure it out? Who cares? I drove off into the sunrise feeling melancholic but satisfied.

Hello everyone. This story happened a couple of years ago. Me, my gf and some friends rented a cabin in the woods for a long relaxed weekend. To get there we decided to take a scenic route through the mountains, instead of the highway. This road had gorgeous landscapes as it crossed mountains and valleys. As such the speed limit would vary between 90/70/50 km/h. I usually drive around the speed limit, maybe a little less here and there, so we could appreciate the great view around us. Nonetheless, I would never go at snail pace, maybe 10-15 km/h below the limit. So, this road has a lot of on and off-ramps leading to the various small towns nearby. It's a 40 km stretch where passing is not allowed. Either there are double solid lines or concrete dividers. 1 km in this route and we were the only car on the road as far as we could see, everyone is on a great mood, excited for the weekend ahead of us.

Enter "le douche".

"le douche" just came in on an on-ramp and merged behind us. Dude is driving a beaten down pickup truck, you would think that we cleans it by rubbing a bag full of rocks on it, the hood was a different color from the rest of the pickup, you know the type.

Immediately starts tailgating us, apparently going the speed limit (or almost the speed limit from time to time) is not god enough for "le douche". He got places to be, douchery to do.

Through my rear-view mirror I see arms waving and what I assumed were curse words being spewed out of his mouth. I ignore him, although keeping in mind that I should avoid braking hard otherwise he is definitely hitting me. On his first opportunity he crossed the double solid lines to overtake us and I had to let go of the gas so he could merge again in front of me before he "headbutted" the concrete divider that was coming up ahead.

To no surprise to anyone, he merges and immediately brake checks me. Or at least tries to, because since I had let go of the gas there was already a bit of a distance between us. More arm waving and rude gestures ensue. My gf and the other friends in the back ask me "what is wrong with this guy", I just sigh and reply "he is mad because he was behind us and I wasn't going fast enough for him".

"le douche" tried to brake check me a couple more times but I had at all times at least 2-cars distance from him. At that point everyone in the car was paying attention to him and wondering why don't he just go. There's no one in front of him, if he was in such a hurry why is he still here.

Not happy that I hurt his little ego by not letting him brake check me in a "scary way" he decided to just keep in front of us doing half the speed limit or less. Still making gestures like this was payback or something. He kept this going for about 20 km. At some point cars started to naturally make a line behind us. We were actually not even mad, we enjoyed the views, made conversation, all in while I always kept a very large distance to "le douche".

Since we were so slow I could see the road ahead of him with a lot of time to react and I saw this huge pothole in the distance at the center-left of the lane. "le douche" decides to hug the center barrier to avoid the pothole by having it pass under his car. I, on the other hand, decide to hug the right, since there was an off-ramp opening up to exit into a small town. As he sees this, he thinks I am going to exit and veers to the right to cut me off and stay ahead of me in the exit. As I return to the center of the lane he just veers back. Again, everyone wondering "wtf he is doing". I replied "apparently he wants to annoy us as much as possible and is trying to follow us while being ahead of us". " Can that even be called following if he is ahead of us?" we had a great laugh.

That situation gave me an idea and I asked the people in my car " how much you wanna bet I can make him pay actual money for being a douche " , my gf : "what are you gonna do? don't do anything stupid, our exit is not far anyway" , me: "nah, its a 10min detour for a lifetime of satisfaction" and everyone was in. Them: "so what are you gonna do?" , me: "you will see its 2km ahead".

So, after another 2 km at really slow speed an off-ramp that lead to an highway on-ramp started to open, and me, as a stand-up driver put on my blinker the take the exit. "le douche" being a douchebag, again, cuts to the exit to stay in front of me. My gf " what are you doing? this is the … oh...ahahah I know what you are gonna do" , our friends "what? what is he gonna do?" , my gf: "this is going to be fun, just get out of the car when we do", me: "I see you know me well".

You see, at least where we live, once you get on the on-ramp to the highway there is no turning back, you have to get on the highway, and that means going through the toll both to get the toll ticket. When you get of the highway you use your ticket to pay for the distance you travelled. As "le douche" sees that I fully committed to the exit he floors it so he gets to the toll booth before we do and we lose sight of him just as the road off-ramp is turning into the on-ramp to the highway. He is thinking that we have nowhere to go but the highway. He is wrong, just before the on-ramp starts there is a unmarked service road for a farm nearby (me and my gf know this because we have been there). It is a dirt road that you won't see it unless you know its there. The dirt road goes parallel to the highway for a while, then passes the entrance of the farm and then leads back to the scenic route we were on just 1km before the off-ramp exit we just took.

I take the service road. Our friends are puzzled and after a tight curve, low and behold, the highway, just about where cars merge from the toll both. I stop and we all get out. Not 2min later, "le douche" rolls around, really slowly, looking back over his shoulder, probably wondering were the f*** are we, because we are not behind him. I do a small tap on the horn, he looks in our direction and we all just burst cheering to him. I can't paint you a word picture of his reaction, but it was glorious. Waving his toll ticket in one hand, face as red as it can be, screaming at us through his window. (just a note, I checked for cars in both directions before I tapped the horn. no one in sight since its a highway on a very rural area, otherwise I wouldn't have tried to catch his attention and possibly distract other drivers). Oh boy, was he mad to see us on that service road. And off he went, flooring his beaten up pickup truck.

One thing I haven't mentioned yet, was that that particular highway on-ramp was for traffic entering the highway on the opposite direction that we were travelling. There are no U-turns on the highway. Our highways have full physical double dividers all the way. His only move is to get off the highway on the next exit. Where is that exit you may ask? Exits and far and apart on highways that go through rural areas. His next possible exit was around 25km away. That exit directly leads to the very beginning of the scenic route we just travelled through. That is all the satisfaction I needed. "le douche" essentially paid to get to where he was around 45min ago. Nice!

We kept on the service road until we got back on the scenic route and 2km later was our exit. Never saw him again. We had a really nice weekend and a cool story to tell.

Edit: for those of you having a knee jerk reaction to the fact that I was going a little bit under the speed limit all I have to say is:

Yes, going at times 20% under the speed limit is almost speed limit, to me a glass 80% full, is a glass almost full. Not only that, but driving under the speed limit is not only safer but also expected if the conditions are not right. Moreover, I am sorry to burst your little bubble, but driving a little bit under the speed limit is not ilegal. Now, tailgating, overtaking on double solid lines and brake checking is not only ILEGAL, is also unsafe. So cry all you want, throw your little fit and cry a little more lol

Due to popularity of my comment in one of the fellow Redditor posts, I have to decided to share my story with more people.

My work place has similar name to name of a company who is responsible to parking fines. Mistakes are popular. People google something, misspelled name then hit dial. Me and work colleagues introduce ourselves when answering the phone and kindly explain the errors. Some people just putting the phones down. Some say sorry and wishing us a good day. But some are real tough cookies. They won’t take it. They never making any mistakes. Never. They only park their car for a minute, and that was emergency, and they were never there. And they will not listen when we trying explain it’s wrong number. We are nice people, trying to explain again. But no. They are always right. We have a rule: 3 times we try to tell it’s wrong number. If someone is stubborn or rude we are becoming very apologetic, we are taking detail of parking ticket, reference number, vehicle licence plate etc and then “cancelling” the fine and give instructions to ignore any future correspondence.

So my now ex who is getting divorced, her soon to be ex had over the years taken her shot gun and ran in their bedroom swearing to kill himself on several occasions as I’m told, and also he is an ex convict and can’t legally have firearms, she decided to dump me and wanted her shotgun back because he evidently has moved back in and i wanted to get my pistol out of his access as well. So when i returned her shotgun i removed the firing pin so it can’t be used now and he gets to pretend it works now since only me and my brother know. Can’t really tell anyone else and this is kinda damn funny since she hit me up for this relationship and then ended it just to go back.

Got gas at Costco yesterday. I was at the rearmost pump on the island. I filled my tank as usual.

Less than 30 seconds after getting back in my car, a member of the I'm More Important Than You Club honked. He was in the car directly behind me. At first, it didn't even register that he honked at me. I mean, who would do that?

Then he honked again. I looked in my rearview mirror, and saw him behaving in a frustrated manner.

Cue petty revenge mode.

When I fill my tank, I record my mileage, the cost per gallon, how much I spent, etc. I made sure to take my sweet time doing that.

After a bit, the car immediately in front of me was ready to go, so I turned on my engine. I made sure to take as long as I possibly could to leave the pump, thereby preventing Mr. I'm More Important Than You from getting around me to the free spot in front of me, and, at the same time, preventing him from quickly pulling into the spot I was vacating.

Honking at me cost him an extra 60–90 seconds of his life. I was amused at his being a self-centered jerk. I wonder how he perceived it?

EDIT: It was a slow time at Costco gas, and there was no one behind the honking guy. I would not have taken my time if there had been anyone else behind him.

Another Dutch navy story, this time from the time after I returned from Curaçao and when I got stationed on the naval base in Den Helder in The Netherlands.

When I was stationed as a driver in Den Helder we had a big garage with all our company vehicles parked in there. There were trucks, a touring cars, small buses, luxury cars (pretty ordinary cars, but they were called "luxe auto's") and a few forklifts.

Those vehicles were driven by ourselves obviously, but the luxury cars would also be assigned to navy personel for business trips to other locations. They would pick up the vehicle with the appropriate paperwork, allowing them to legally drive the company vehicle.

This particular petty revenge was a joint effort between my chief, a few coworkers and myself.

This one particular sergeant-major would pick up a car and leave his private car inside the garage, which was very much prohibited (insurance and navy regulations) and he would always return after working hours.

My chief would tell him to cease parking his own vehicle in the garage and to start parking it in the assigned parking lot outside of the garage. The sergeant-major would say 'yes', but do 'no', thinking him outranking our chief, a sergeant, would protect him from repercussions.

So after a few times my chief was fed up with this behaviour, but wanted retaliation outside of the official ways, so he came up with a plan. This was actually to protect him from military disciplinary law, so to make sure the sergeant-major didn't actually get in trouble.

The next time the sergeant-major parked his car in the garage, he appointed me and a coworker to take a forklifts and to put a pallet with concrete blocks behind his car, as close as possible without scratching it. There was really no way he could exit the garage now.

I happened to be driver of the watch that specific afternoon, and my chief was very clear to me: "Do NOT remove the pallet!" "Yes sergeant, understood!" so when he returned to us with the company car, he parked it and walked to the office. He gave me the paperwork and the car keys and it was obvious he didn't notice that his own car was boxed in.

So he walked away and returned moments later to ask about the pallet with the concrete blocks. I told him I could not pick them up because I wasn't allowed to drive the forklift. So he ordered me, a Sailor-first-class, to remove the pallet. I declined, telling him he outranks me, but in my current function I happen to outrank him. Then he asked me for the keys of the company car back, so he could drive home at least. Again, I declined and told him he would be in legal offence, because him taking the car without the proper paperwork stating he could take the car to his home address, would be considered military joyriding. Then he went outside and made a few phone calls, until he got picked up by a family member.

To be clear: our transportation office was outside the military base, we had to cross two bridges to get onto the base itself. So, while it is part of the base, there is no actual security at our gate and officially you are not on the base itself when you enter our office.

The next day I made sure my chief was informed of all that happened, and after a few chuckles, the wait for the sergeant-major began. When he finally entered the building he was pretty much passed off and began to berate my chief. My chief however, had informed HIS chief, a captain a few desks further. So when the captain told the sergeant-major to stop whining and to consider himself lucky that there was no official reprimand, but only a very clear warning, he backed off and apologised for parking the car inside the garage.

Next was the moment that my chief called me over and told me to take the forklift and to take the pallet away. In silence we walked to his car, I took the forklift and released the poor car from his captivity.

The sergeant-major dutifully parked his private car in the assigned parking place ever since.

Years ago I kept getting calls on my direct line at work from Carl’s Jr employees who had broken deep fryers. I don’t know if my number was similar to their repair line number or if Carl’s Jr had listed the wrong number or if my number was the same but wrong area code. All I know is that about once a week I’d get a call from a panicking employee at a different Carl’s Jr. I’d tell them I didn’t work for Carl’s Jr, that this was not the repair line. “Please update your phone number listing.”

This went on for about 6 months.

Finally I’d had enough and I just told the caller “I’ll have someone there within an hour to fix it.”

Happened again the next week. “I’ll have someone there within an hour to fix it.”

Never heard from Carl’s Jr employees again after that.

Short story:

Back in college, I was at a frat party. I was with a friend that wanted to go to meet some girls. We were both on the dance floor and looking around. We both saw two girls somewhat dancing and looking too. I decided to approach one of them to start a conversation.

Me: “Hey, my name is W-“

Her: “Sorry, I don’t talk to white guys.” (She was white, if that matters.)

Me: “Oh, I’m Filipino and white…”

Her: Hi! My name is Ka-“

Me: “Sorry, I don’t talk to bitches”.

Then proceeded to walk back to my friend as her jaw dropped in shock.

Not the most amazing, but I’m happy with it.

I was working in a kitchen doing some casual work mostly food preparation. Crappy job tbh. Anyway one of the dishies found out that I was living in a tent. (House prices are out of control)

And spread it around work telling everyone and started making snide comments to me in front of others like offering to lend me his bed wink wink.

So I started telling people that he was just mad at me because I stopped sleeping with him.(we never did lol) Eventually someone told his gf and they had a big fight over it 😂 He never spoke to me again

The first weeks of school at lvl 7(7th grade) is when we started a new set of specialist classes (Art and Industrial Tech).

At my school there were 2 Art teachers and I had never seen my new teacher. Mr. Pervo (name with held) had us watching into to Art videos for the first 20-30 minutes of each 60 min block. MAN WERE THEY BORING.

I’ll admit I talked too much during the videos and had been called out multiple times. Finally Mr. Pervo calls me out into the hall for what I assume is a dressing down of words. He directs me to a door next to the class room where I figure he’s going to yell at me outta ear shot of other kids, except he doesn’t follow me in and locks the door w/o the lights on.

As I fumbled my way in this small cupboard / closet I hit one wall of shelves that has pottery on it…

I don’t know how long I was in that room for, but when Mr Pervo let me out, he realized his mistake. All the pottery was on the ground in ruins…and we were at a stalemate. No discipline to me who had no business being locked in a closet.

TLDR: Pervo locked me in the art cupboard and lost a walls worth of finished pottery for his troubles.

I was the smallest kid in class, and as a freshman in high school, the one of teachers made us give our answers to a problem on the board. The thing was, we had to give a short lecture on how to solve a word math problem, but first, had to get the attention of our classmates.

1. I tried calling out. No response. I was too mousy.
2. Tried again. Ignored.

Crossed arms and tapping your foot like the teacher never works. Not for a 95lb weakling like me... so skipped that.

3. Plan C, go nuclear. I knew how to make the chalk squeal. I grabbed two pieces, and you hold lightly by the back and, push at a low angle and tilt up until it resonates. I started at one end of the long chalkboard and got both pieces to start screeching.

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

don't forget, X2 at the same time, both hands.

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Turn and look. Whole class is in shock. Covering their ears, eyes squinted in pain. I've got the evil grin.

Teacher looks at me and is laughing. She has her ears covered too!

Work my problem on the board. Everyone is quiet and listening, backs straight, paying attention. Now that is like it! One young lady I vividly remember has her hands clapped on her ears with a big "OOOWWWW" on her face

Next week, it is my turn again. I pick up two pieces of chalk. Press on the board. Turn and look. Wow, everyone is paying attention! One young lady classmate (same one described and is now a professor I must say) says "please, don't do that again!"