So, for context, I'm currently a head cashier at Home Depot. I work in a higher volume store that remodeled the "front end" (where our registers are) a couple months ago where our central checkout is now entirely self checkout registers (referred to as sco). While it's sco, it's known as "assisted" sco, and they want us to be assisting as much as possible (6 items or more, high price items, and anything that could hide anything inside of it are a must), as well as pushing credit card applications.

Now here's where there's been a huge issue. Starting with the cashiers not pushing credit enough, so we fell behind on our goal. So last week to make up for it, around halfway through the week, my supervisor told us she wanted everyone physically on a register. Head cashiers included. They don't even want us checking the schedule to send breaks, or the cashiers home even though no one is allowed to get overtime. Unless there's money to handle, we aren't allowed off of a register.

I bet some of you can understand how frustrating that is. It's literally a sco. I'm having more people starting to get upset that we're constantly helping them than when we changed it to a sco, and had a ton of people angry there aren't any normal registers in the main area of the store (2-3 normal registers open total on the opposite ends of the store, and that's it). And me and the other head cashiers weren't complying the entire time about staying on a register 100% of the time because we were going to prioritize at least knowing when to send breaks, and our cashiers home. Even if it meant us getting into trouble.

Well, today was black Friday, and my supervisor, a long with the store manager, and a few other managers were lurking around almost constant. A couple actually helped, which was appreciated, but I digress.

The other day, I mentioned to my supervisor when she insisted head cashiers had to stay on a register, how we were supposed to send breaks, or how we would direct the line because most people won't walk to an open register even when sco is empty. She told me to figure it out, and if I have to keep my head on a swivel so I can check customers out AND get the line down, then so be it.

So, I let them run the show. They put me on a register. I complied. I only left when I was told to cover for someone going home, or to use the bathroom. My lunch was two hours late. I didn't say anything until an hour and a half after the fact because I rarely get my breaks on time anyways, but my lunch is mandatory because "no overtime."

My lunch wasn't the only break late though. When I finally got to go on my lunch, one of my cashiers came back from the bathroom, and we both saw his fifteen minute break was nearly an hour late. I apologized, and let him know I hadn't been allowed to check the schedule, or I would have sent him already. I told him to go, but let him know he should double check with our supervisor just in case since that would mean two people would be leaving at once.

Then, I come back from my lunch and find out one of our full time cashiers was forgotten on one of the few normal registers, and was actively building overtime. Something if I was physically there for, would have never happened as she leaves at the same time every day. Except, I was on my lunch. Two hours late. Then later, I'm sent to garden to cover a lunch over half an hour late. When I got back inside, another cashier calls because his fifteen is over half an hour late. Almost 45 minutes.

That's just some of what happened. I wasn't allowed to do my job, and therefore, my cashiers were actively being forgotten about because it wasn't important enough. Oh, and we got just as much credit card applications as we did early last week before we were forced to constantly be on registers. It's not about being on a register. It's about asking in general. Something I may not like, but I do because it's my job.

Or at least, it was. After seeing how me not doing my job to comply with dumb rules that makes no sense effected my cashier's today (and the fact I got a call back from another job), I put my two weeks in. Just to seal the deal after a shitty day. But I'm happy. I'm leaving Hell Depot, and couldn't be happier. I just worry for my cashier's who are probably going to continue to suffer with these new rules and regulations, and especially if anyone above them actually complies to them 100%.

Tl;dr: was told to be a normal cashier, so I let my supervisor and managers run the show. Almost everyone's breaks were forgotten about until a minimum of 30 minutes after, and they forgot to send someone home. But hey. I'm just a cashier. Oh wait, I'm not

So I have a coworker who would put Spanish music on in the BOH and it would be the most raunchiest trap music ever. I’m talking about Bad Bunny, KAROL G, El Alfa kinda raunchy. Even some merengue and bachata hits are insane when I hear it as an adult.

And yes there would be people just ignoring the music and then there would be others that want a translation. Well the Latina coworker doesn’t speak English really well so she wasn’t able to explain it, so they look at me for answers. I would usually tell them that it’s “just a bunch of nonsense and the songs are designed for you to turn up” and that would usually get them to leave me alone.

Not this nosy coworker though. She was keen to know what a certain song is about. When I told her my usual spiel, she didn’t want to hear it. She wants to know the meaning behind the song “Mesa Que Mas Aplauda” and why the singer keeps saying “socks, socks,socks.” I told her that we (Latinos) don’t look too deep into the lyrics but if she wants to know the guy isn’t saying “socks, socks, socks” he’s saying “za za za” which means absolutely nothing at all and when he said “la mesa que mas aplauda le mando a la niña” he’s saying the table that claps the loudest gets the girl.

She was instantly uncomfortable but nah sis if you wanna know so much I’m gonna explain it further. I told her that they play this song in strip clubs, birthday parties, weddings, communions, quinceaneras, and just any random occasion. So for the rest of the shift I would tell her what every song is about just to make her uncomfortable. “El Venao” is about this guy gaslighting his girl after she heard rumors about him being a player. “Obsesion” is about this guy being a creep towards this girl who doesn’t want him and he’s trying to convince her to leave her man for him. “4K” is just a raunchy song about giving it to these hoes in 4k like their p0rno girls.

And by the time I left she looked like she could’ve lived the rest of her life without knowing all that. I can’t wait to tell her what “Deliquente” is about tomorrow. I bet she’ll clutch her pearls.

Many moons ago, I worked at a restaurant that is part of a national chain named after a fruit and and insect. I had put in my two weeks notice after finding a better position elsewhere, and we were about to slightly tweak our menu and so were having mandatory staff meetings to acquaint ourselves with the new food. The only time that we could schedule these meetings was in the morning, prior to the restaurant opening, so that all the staff could attend.

As a closing bartender who would sometimes be there until 2 or 3AM cleaning up, I did not relish having to turn around and go back to work just for an hour long untipped (earning just minimum wage) meeting on less than 6 hours of sleep. Since I was on my way out the door and would not be employed by them when the new menu actually started, I asked my boss if I actually had to come to these meetings. He told me "if you want to work your remaining scheduled shifts you do". Being a college student who lived paycheck to paycheck, I could not afford to lose out on a week and a half wages, so I sucked it up and went.

Part of the roll out was a booklet we were supposed to fill out about the menu items, which included the prompt: "How would you describe this dish?" Presumably you are supposed to come up with clever tantalizing romanticizations of the items. Stuff like "it's a quarter pound of Angus beef, smothered by melted cheese and tender onions", but there were no specifics about what you could or should not write.

Cue malicious compliance.

I sat slightly out of my managers line of sight and looked up the nutritional values of the menu items from our corporate website on my phone. I filled my notebook out as follows: "the classic bacon cheeseburger has 1320 calories, 140% of your daily saturated fat (28 grams) and 124% of your daily sodium (2860mg)", "the BS mushroom swiss burger has 1580 calories, 155% of daily recommended saturated fat (31 grams), and 126% of your recommended sodium (3100mg)", "the quesadilla burger has 1580 calories, 190% of your daily saturated fat (38 grams), and 191% of your daily recommended sodium intake (3470mg)" etc.

The next day my boss called me into the office to discuss my booklet. He asked "are these the real nutritional facts numbers?" I replied "you're the manager, you should know, but yes. I pulled them right off the company website." He said something along the lines of "God that's disgusting! I should be looking for a new job too. We shouldn't be selling this shit."

I worked the end of my shifts, and then came back as a customer a week or two later. I proceeded to order a pitcher of the strongest beer we had on tap for myself, and then loudly played "trivia" with some of the bar regulars who were my buddies, asking them the same nutritional facts about the food. The bartender (my former coworker who was a stuck up B) kept giving me dirty looks, but she couldn't say shit to me, since I wasn't the loudest one in the group, and we weren't discussing anything vulgar.

Note to everyone: the food at ApricotBeetles is really unhealthy.

I am a science teacher and one year we got a new principal. He micromanaged everything and everyone! In the past I did a few labs that had food in them. He sent out an email stating that if science teachers want to do labs that had food, that we must send him a detailed lesson plan. I don't mind if the principal wanted to know why we did the lab and how it fits into the concepts we are teaching but a detailed lesson plan? I don't have a problem with rules but he was the type that didn't have an open door policy, it's my way or the highway type of administrator.

Cue my passive aggressive side, I sent him 20 page lesson plans (I am really good at bs'ing educational jargon). And every lab that I could find that had food in it, I did it that year! He did make my solar cooker completion impossible, which killed me because I had gotten grant money from a major leader in the engineering field the year before for the same exact project.

He ended up having so many grievances filed against him. It was a great day when he finally left!

A long time ago I worked weekends in a warehouse that received chips in bulk(think like one truck shows up all one flavor) where workers loaded up other trucks with the orders going to individual stores. So think of pallets of chips in boxes stacked 30feet up and trucks in docks being loaded up with a mix of chips of all flavors going out to convenience stores and grocery stores.

Our job as “pickers” is to push around a large cart and pick boxes of chips of all flavours as we go around the warehouse. Then we load out order into the truck and go to the next order and so on.

When we dropped a box and a bag burst open, well we would eat it. There would always be at least a couple open bags we could munch on at the warehouse.

I only worked weekends. During the week, a lot of things would happen and I would only find out about changes the next weekend.

One weekend I show up and we are not allowed to eat chips anymore!!! Apparently a new manager was hired and he was on a power trip and told the guys “the next person I see eating our chips will be fired for theft of company property” This seemed to me to be a little ridiculous as they would also make us compact hundreds of cases of chips when they came to be too close to their expiry date.(like less than 6 weeks). There was a lot of waste so for them to get on our case for eating a measly bag of chips was a little infuriating.

Anyway I don’t need to tell you that the guys were pissed about this and morale was low that weekend.

Next weekend I come back in. The guys let me know that the manager is in a super bad mood. The workers devised a plan to get back at the manager. They would buy chips from our main competitor brand and eat that competitors brand of chips as they worked. They argued to management that since it was from another brand, they could not get in trouble for theft as it was 100% certain the chips had been purchased with their own money.

Now the management of the warehouse was appalled by the fact that we were all munching on the competitions goods but there was nothing they could do about it.

It took a few weeks for this situation to get resolved but the way they “fixed it” in the end is that the managers would put a sticker on some bags for us to eat. In the end we would be allowed to munch on the company products once the bags had been “approved” to be eaten by management . So then it was not considered theft anymore and we were able to resume eating from the company stock.

I work in tech support, but basically a call center fixing computer problems. So when someone calls, we record their information. Everything from their name, to the reason for the call, to the solution. During a team meeting, one of my higher ups (we’ll call her Paula) announces if a client calls back about the same problem in a short time, whoever ultimately fixes it gets full credit for the work.

For context: I’m not here to be “Super IT”. I don’t care about the credit. I work my 8 hours a day and collect my check. That’s it.

One day I get a call. The client says they were just on the phone with someone else, and they told them to call right back. I look up the coworkers name (John); he just went to lunch. I ask the client if they want me to transfer them to the John’s voicemail. They say, “Can you just help me?” Np. I’m familiar with their problem and fix in it 20 minutes. I adjust the record for the problem to my name. I add John’s name as a footnote so he still gets partial credit.

Fast forward: John gets back from lunch. Comes up to me and demands to know why I took his name off the record. Tells me he spent an hour on the phone with that client and he would appreciate if I would let him know if I touch his records (Mind you, John and I don’t speak. He’s cold towards me and we only interact when absolutely necessary. Today, he doesn’t even say hello. He just starts in on me.) I wait a moment and calmly explain how I got the call, the client didn’t want to wait, and how I followed procedure. I also pointed out that I added John’s name as a footnote for partial credit (which is not required to do). John says “Oh, I didn’t see that” and leaves. No apology, just a mumbled “thanks” as he walks away.

In our next team meeting, our boss tells us from now on, whoever speaks to the client first gets full credit. I asked her to please clarify because Paula told us otherwise. She reiterates the announcement, says “this is how we’re doing it, I hope that makes sense” and quickly moves on. I can see where this came from but I hold my peace.

More background: John’s approach is to rush through calls to increase his “calls taken” metrics. My approach is to make sure the client is taken care of before the call ends.

So a few weeks go by, and things took an unexpected turn for John. (When a client calls back for a problem that was previously marked “fixed”, I restart the record and only add my footnote. This causes the record to go back into the original agent’s workflow for processing.) Since John doesn’t take the time to read the footnotes, he’s reaching out to me for updates before he marks the record “fixed” again. I take my time to respond, because I’ve already made the info available in my footnote. Not only that, some problems require him to call the client back to confirm the problem is actually fixed. He went from talking to me once a quarter to once a week. So now, he’s doing twice, sometimes 3 times the work, all because he wanted full credit for partial results.

A couple of months ago, I had a run-in with the self-appointed HOA enforcer of my neighborhood—let’s call her Linda. For context, I don’t live in an HOA community, but Linda likes to pretend we do. She’s the kind of person who leaves passive-aggressive notes on cars, knocks on doors to complain about lawn heights, and calls the city for “violations” that don’t actually exist.

The issue started because I parked my car on the street in front of my house. It’s perfectly legal, and I’ve been doing it for years without any complaints. But apparently, Linda decided that my car was an eyesore. One day, I found a note tucked under my windshield wiper that said:

“This is NOT a parking lot. Park in your driveway like a respectful neighbor. Don’t make me involve the city.”

It annoyed me, but I shrugged it off and kept parking where I always do. That wasn’t good enough for Linda. The next time, she confronted me in person.

Linda: “I’ve told you before, parking on the street is inconsiderate. You have a driveway; use it!” Me: “It’s legal to park here, and I’m not blocking anything.” Linda: “It doesn’t matter. It’s ugly and makes the neighborhood look bad. Park in your driveway, or I’ll report you.”

That’s when I decided: fine. If she wants me to park in my driveway, I’ll park in my driveway—but I’ll follow every single rule to the letter.

You see, my driveway is small. If I park my car in it, it blocks the sidewalk. Technically, it’s against city ordinances to obstruct the sidewalk. So the next day, I pulled my car right into my driveway, perfectly centered, and guess what? It completely blocked the sidewalk.

It didn’t take long for Linda to notice. She marched up to my door, red-faced and furious.

Linda: “You can’t block the sidewalk! That’s illegal!” Me: “Oh, I thought you wanted me to park in my driveway?” Linda: “Not like that! Park properly!” Me: “There’s no other way to park in my driveway without blocking the sidewalk. Guess I’ll have to park back on the street then.”

Her face was priceless. She sputtered for a moment before stomping off. Thinking that was the end of it, I parked back on the street. But no, Linda wasn’t done yet. She actually called the city on me!

A week later, a city inspector came by. He checked out the situation, saw that my car was legally parked on the street, and told me I was doing nothing wrong. However, he did mention that Linda had made several complaints about “code violations” in the neighborhood, and they were getting tired of her nonsense.

After that, I didn’t hear from Linda for a while—until last week, when she started parking her car on the street in front of my house. So, I did what any good neighbor would do: I called the city and reported it. Turns out her car was slightly too close to a fire hydrant. She got a ticket.

Malicious compliance never felt so sweet.

Some context: I work overnights at a well known gym franchise that I will not name. My typical shift is 10pm-6am. Usually there is always supposed to be 2 people on night shift together, but lately my coworkers have been calling off a lot, causing me to be in the gym alone all night. My coworker, let’s call her Sam, comes in at 6am when I get off. Here’s the problem, Sam doesn’t usually come in on time, she is usually always 10-15 minutes late.

So onto the problem. Since Sam comes in late, I tend to have to stay clocked in past 6am. Additionally, since I’m usually alone at night, I can’t get any important tasks done until Sam comes in. My boss noticed my time cards, and got very upset that I haven’t been clocking out right at 6am. He made me feel really crappy despite constantly being on the blunt end of all his scheduling messes.

So I told him okay. I will leave exactly at 6am. So that’s what I’ve been doing. I’ve been leaving the gym entirely unattended until someone gets there, and most of the time, no one does for a while. So now members are confused, my manager doesn’t know what to do considering he is the one who scolded me for staying past 6am. He thought that I would just clock out and stay, off the clock, but why would I do that? I was not going to take the fall for someone else consistently being late…

He won’t fire me or write me up because this is technically what he wanted.

I recently found this sub and I think I have a great story for it. This happened about 2 years ago. I work in construction but more specifically I cut concrete. A lot of people aren't familiar with my job but all you really need to know is that I dont pour any concrete. I use big diesel and hydraulic powered saws to cut and remove it.

I work at a relatively small company (15 employees) and we are THE company to use for concrete cutting and removal in our area. I was the first employee hired at this company and my bosses are amazing, they have been in the industry for 25 and 30 years respectively. We will call them Brad and Cody. They know what they are doing and they still get out and work in the field and will out work any of our employees.

We were awarded a no-bid contract at a very large facility to cut and remove a very large section of their outdoor slab because it had cracked. This was routine for us, we could do it in our sleep, but it was still a large project. The reason we were given the contract but not held to a number was because they wanted it done right and fast and they knew that we were they guys to do this even though we aren't always the cheapest. The customer requested us to bring extra equipment and specialized saws "just in case". Important later.

The day comes that we are supposed to start and they wanted us on site at 6:30am for a safety meeting. Brad and Cody went out while I stayed back to get my crews ready for the day before heading out to meet them. when I arrived at 8 am, they were still standing by their trucks just talking. I asked them how the safety meeting went and they said that no one had shown up yet. Finally they got there at around 9 am and didn't even acknowledge that they were late. We met the guy that was in charge of the project, his name was John. John said during the safety meeting that there would always be a few people around from his company to watch us while we worked. we figured it was weird but no big deal. We ran a routine safety meeting after and it was time to work.

We got about a third of the project completed in 1 day. The entire time we were working there were no less than 25 people standing around watching us work. we kept joking with them to just set up bleachers, it would be easier to watch that way. They made us call it quits at 4pm so they could go home. Right about this time we started to figure there was something up with these guys, they didn't care that we didn't get started until late and wanted us to end early, yet a big part of us being there was to get it done fast? Either way we figured we would still be able to get done in about 3 days and make record time for a project of this size, all while making a fair amount of money for ourselves.

The next morning as we were getting ready to head out for they day, Brad received an email. it said "While we can tell that x company are master operators with their machines, we feel as if they are operating in an unsafe manner by running multiple machines at once and request that they slow down to maintain safe working conditions. They also didn't try to make sure our supervisors felt that they were safe throughout the day." Brad was pissed. we were called in to get things done fast and not once had we done a single thing that could be considered unsafe. when we got to the job that day for the safety meeting, Brad had changed from "screw these guys they don't know anything about what we are doing" to "okay we are too fast? we will slow it right down for them".

At the safety meeting John (same guy who sent us the email) looked at us and said "okay everyone knows what we are doing, lets get it done." He tried to end the safety meeting with that, but that's when my boss spoke up. he said, "hold on, since no one is man enough to tell us in person and just want to hide behind their emails, lets get this straight. we are too fast and unsafe for you?" John became visibly uncomfortable and stammered out "well, there was a lot of people standing around and watching you yesterday and I just felt that someone would get hurt if they decided to get closer to watch". I had set up safety cones with red danger tape strung between it and told no one to cross. we had taken proper safety precautions. if they didn't feel comfortable to have that many people watch, then DONT HAVE THAT MANY PEOPLE STANDING, WATCHING, AND DOING NOTHING! all Brad said was "okay we will be real slow and if someone crosses our line, we shut the site down for an hour for another safety meeting."

Time for the malicious compliance, we started up for the day. Something to note about our saws, tractors, and other heavy equipment is that we have the ability to turn up the idle, or in other words we can turn up or down the speed of the motors, so instead of everything moving normally and how it should, which is fast, everything is moving at turtle speed. Brad told us all that if we ever sped up our machines that he would kick us off the job, even Cody, his business partner. I was cutting with our saw while Cody was in the excavator to remove the pieces that I cut. Brad was in the skid steer to haul the pieces to the dump truck.

I would cut the concrete into a 6' x 6' piece, which would normally take me about 20-30 minutes. It was taking upwards of 3 hours for one piece. after I would cut, Cody in the excavator would turn his machine on, slowly turn and stop. extend his bucket. stop. lower the bucket. stop. tilt the bucket. stop. pick up the piece. stop. turn. stop. drop the piece. stop. shut off his machine. All without idling up. Then Brad would start his machine and repeat the same process to load into the dump truck. you get the point, it was PAINFULLY slow. after the first piece was ready to be pulled out and Cody started the process John, who was just sitting on the sideline pale faced crossed my line to ask if we were really serious, at that point Brad screamed "SHUTDOWN!" and we all stepped away for an hour for a safety meeting. John crossed the line 3 times in the first day and 8 times total throughout the project. His employees never once crossed the danger line. effectively John was the only one he should have been worried about in his email about "getting too close and being in danger."

John kept saying "no way you guys are being serious, what happened to what you were doing yesterday? you were so much more efficient." Brad just said "I have in writing that you felt unsafe, so for the remainder of this project we will be operating at a safe pace."

It ended up taking us 3 weeks to finish at that horribly slow pace instead of 3 or 4 days at full speed. The best part? The head of the facility came out to see what was taking us so long, we showed him the email and he agreed with what we were doing. He told us he hates John and that he's insufferable to work around. He said that the success of this project is directly tied to Johns yearly bonus. he asked how much we were charging them, and we told him that per piece of equipment and truck and saw that is one the site is being billed to them by the hour and that John had requested that we have nearly double the amount of equipment than we actually needed or used. The facility head just laughed and said "fantastic, I will make sure you are paid in full, don't go easy on us with the bill."

That's how we maliciously complied our way into charging about $200,000 for a job that should have realistically only been worth about $45,000. I even got a solid $20,000 bonus because Brad and Cody are fantastic bosses and knew we made a killing on that job.

update:

I felt like I wanted to clarify a couple of things after reading the comments. First, yes John tried to get us to go back to our previous working rate, but he would only ever verbally ask. My boss kept telling him "I need that in writing and you have a deal, hell might even save yourself some money while you're at it." but John either never understood what he was implying or really didn't want to send an email recanting his statement believing he would look dumb for making a mistake. Second, this was a big project, bigger than what my part in it was. That being said, with how John was with us, I would seriously doubt every other aspect of the job went smooth for him. I bet they ended up with some profit but not nearly as much as they would have without John, meaning he still probably got a bonus, just a very small one. Third, how did they have so many people able to stand around and watch for 3 weeks and not work? Well, by the end of the third week there was probably only 10 people watching us by then, but this was a facility that has hundreds of people working there so for 25 people at a time to sneak out for most of a day to watch us wasn't too big of a deal for them, they usually rotated and if we saw someone one day, than we didn't usually see them again for about a week.

also just another little satisfying part of the story I should have included was that Cody has had a saying since the very first time I worked with him, he says, "we aren't trying to retire off of this one single job, we are treating the customer fair, but fair isn't always cheap." After the facility head gave us the go ahead to charge what was needed and not take it easy, Cody looked at us and said, "yep, we are retiring off of this one." obviously it was more of a joke, but the satisfaction I got from hearing him say that after knowing him for 10 years to be the guy who is extra fair will never be rivaled.

Another fun story about my *favorite* supervisor from when I was in the Navy.

A little bit of backstory to help explain some of the later facts. In the military, every piece of equipment gets preventative maintenance done on it to maintain it in "good, working condition". In the Navy, we have a very well-laid out maintenance system with step-by-step instructions on how to do every bit of maintenance, with instructions so simple a monkey could do it. Part of these maintenance procedures lists required tools, parts, materials, and test equipment, and they are also extremely specific. Detailing the length requirement of your screw drivers, the brand of your gauges, etc. The management of this system the Navy uses is called the Maintenance & Material Management System, 3M; or Planned Maintenance System, PMS.

As an electrician, we owned all electrical distribution equipment onboard, and for jobs without an electrical training background, we also "owned" the actual equipment. So the Electronics Technicians, with electrical training, could maintain their own electrical equipment. But the Cooks (Culinary Specialists), without an electrical background, relied on us to maintain their equipment for them. Now, if you've ever used a commercial flat-top grill/griddle before, you know you set it to a specific temperature you want the cooktop heated to, and not a "0-9" dial like your stove at home. Part of maintaining the griddle was checking the calibration of this temperature setting once every year or two (I forget how often this check was, but it wasn't a frequent check).

Relatively early on when I got onboard the ship, young EMFN (junior electrician) GwenBD94 was assigned to do this maintenance check, so I gathered all of my tools parts materials etc. In doing so I couldn't find the proper temperature sensor for our calibrated temperature gauge. We had the round-tip ambient temperature probe for use in the ovens, but not the flat-tip surface temperature probe for use on a griddle. I asked a different supervisor to my *favorite* supervisor for help, and he couldn't find it either, so we ordered a new one, and he said he'd take care of the paperwork for the maintenance check. Being new and unfamiliar with the system I let it go and never questioned when the maintenance check disappeared from the maintenance list the next week (meaning someone "accomplished" it hint hint nudge nudge) and all was good.

The next time this maintenance check came up due, we were on deployment, and it was again assigned to me. By this time, we had a new supervisor, and I was now EM3 (slightly less-junior electrician) GwenBD94! A bit more knowledgeable. I looked where we kept all our calibrated equipment and couldn't find the flattop temperature probe I knew it needed so I asked my supervisor. He found we had one on order but didn't know that we had one in the shop, and told me to "figure it out". Knowing that was an unlawful order and would amount to lying about the check and could bite me in the ass later, I said I wouldn't do the maintenance without the right equipment, and since he couldn't lawfully order me to, we started putting a note on the check that the tools were on order, and delaying it.

This went on for about 2-3 months until the check was about to "go red" (move out of periodicity and cause negative numbers on out maintenance reports), and I was again ordered to figure it out or I'd be written up. I refused, and raised the same issue to my boss's boss and we tore the shop apart trying to find the right equipment but couldn't find it, so he told me not to worry about it. Later that week, while I was on watch as a roving watchstander (allowed to walk around the ship, and even required to) after dinner one evening I saw a newer more junior electrician, lets call him EMFA Timmy (even more junior than i initially was electrician) in the galley (kitchen) working on the griddle! I took a step into the galley and asked him what he was doing and low and behold, he was doing the maintenance check! I asked him what temperature probe he was using and he showed me the one for the oven. I explained to him the issue and told him if he signed the maintenance check it would be "gun-decking" (lying on official paperwork) and he could get in trouble, but let him make his own decisions as an adult. He decided to continue doing the check. I giggled and continued on with my watch.

After my watch, it was nearly 10PM so I went to bed for the night. About an hour later I got woken up, being told my supervisor needed me in the galley. I signed, figuring it was about the check, and I was going to get that earlier threatened write-up. After getting dressed and making it to the galley, the entire electrical shop was in the galley troubleshooting the griddle. You see, EMFA Timmy got to the step in the PMS where it said to use a screwdriver to adjust a dial until the thermometer read the same temperature indicated by the set temperature. When he measured it, it was off by about 150 degrees, so he kept turning up the heat. Eventually, it was hot enough to melt the griddle's built-in over-temp protection device, instantly shutting the stovetop off. Turns out, he *did* need that temperature probe! I was tasked with helping come up with a solution to fix it, because the griddle was a critical piece of equipment for the cooks, and we had no replacement parts to fix it. I asked EMFA Timmy if he ever finished the last steps of the maintenance card (turning the grill off, putting it back together, reporting completion of the PMS). He told me he hadn't. I turned to my boss and said since the maintenance check i explicitly advised against doing without the proper tools was still ongoing, and I was informed I could do the maintenance or be written up, I'd stick with my original decision and refuse to do the maintenance. He could write me up in the morning during working hours, but in the mean time, I was going back to bed. Have a nice night.

In the morning, I did indeed get written up, but for the insubordination (not for refusing the maintenance check), while my boss' boss looked on with the biggest shit eating grin at me for holding my ground, and my supervisor was pissed at me. Turns out, I was right and we *couldn't* do that maintenance check without the right equipment!

This remains one of my write ups I am least ashamed to have ever gotten, and I'd take it again in a heartbeat to give a giant "I told you so" middle finger to idiot middle managers. I later found an electronic record of the counseling chit my supervisor got for tasks people with doing maintenance without the proper equipment, because I laid out that this was a known issue we didn't have the right probe for years and threw his ass deep under the bus (hated the guy).

We got the right probe in about 6 months later!

TL;DR:
i got told to do a job i couldn't do or get written up, i refused, someone dumber got roped into doing it, stuff broke, i got told to help fix it, I said I already accepted being written up for opting out of this experience, and took the write up.

posting to r/MilitiousCompliance and r/MilitaryStories as well

This goes back to my days working at a large Public Transit authority. They stressed safety at every point related to moving buses. Particularly within the depot and outside parking lots. We had 250 buses. As you can imagine moving large vehicles around in tight spaces can be hard on buses, infrastructure and people.

The layout for our outside lot required about 50 buses to be backed in. Two rows of 25 nose to tail. Rules required that when backing a bus we always had to have a "backup helper." For obvious reasons, backing 15 ton vehicles into other 15 ton vehicles can lead to mayhem. Especially after dark and in poor weather. Management decided they didn't want to pay someone to stand around and do this.

There were 6 shifters. (Operators working the yard to move buses after they pulled in. Parked for the night, or moved to maintenance) Rules state you NEVER leave a bus unattended. If it's running someone is in the seat.

First night, first bus goes outside and calls the yard dispatcher for help. Yard dispatcher ignores them. Next bus, same thing. After the 6th bus arrives in the yard waiting for backup help the line for pullins was 10 deep around the block and all the shifters were in the yard. The neighborhood hates the depot anyway. Calls to police begin about buses blocking the streets. Yard dispatcher is flipping out.

The backup guy was back within the hour. On overtime for the balance of the pick (about 3 months) since management had eliminated the job. It usually went to an operator on restricted duty for whatever reason.

They wrote the rules. Not our job to ignore them.

So there I was as an AMMO troop E-5 for on Operational Readiness Inspection (ORI). I was setting up a gas cylinder for some of our equipment. We had never used this space before and it wasn't properly set up for our equipment. No anchors on the walls and no gas cylinder racks. The main feature of the room was a long steel table that was bolted to the cement floor. To secure the cylinder, I used 2 - 5000lb munitions straps to a table leg. I figured, problem solved.

During the inspection, this inspector comes up to me and says that he is going to have to hit me with a major finding....but he was willing to drop it to a minor if I could fix it before he left the area. The finding...the Technical Order for our equipment stated that the cylinder needed to be in a gas storage rack or securely CHAINED to a fixed object. As my load straps were not chains, I had violated the TO instructions.

I was able to borrow some stantion chain, used for airshow crowd control, and a tiny bolt and nut. I seriously doubted the chain would hold 20lbs, certainly not a full gas cylinder. The inspector said that was great and dropped it to a minor.

I reported all of this up my chain of command with varying degrees of WTF responses. That minor finding never made it into the final report. * * Edit: the purpose of securing the bottle with a chain to the wall or in a bottle cage isn't to prevent it from going ballistic, but to keep it from tipping over and hurting someone, dragging equipment, or popping the valve off.

I'm in college, and live in the dorms, where I am required to have a meal plan. I have 19 meals per week.

My degree requires lots of lab work, on the 11th floor of a building, and we wear lab coats. I love getting ice water after my lab, especially since I have to walk all the way across campus. My water bottle is insulated, so it keeps ice for a while, which I LOVE. I go to fill my water bottle with ice, and an upper level worker stops me.

Worker: ma'am, ma'am, no filling personal bottles here.

Me: the workers do it all the time.

Worker: it's in their contract.

Me: okay.

I bet not, but sure. I know workers get free food and beverages both on and off shift, and I always see them using and filling personal bottles. I don't know why I can't, their bottles can also be gross and unclean. Using a reusable bottle is more eco friendly, anyway.

My dining hall likes to be "climate friendly" but they use A LOT of paper plates and plastic silverware, especially when they serve at least 2000 people per day. So, I looked the worker in the face and filled my water bottle with a paper cup. It took so much longer and was more wasteful than if he had just ignored me.

He shook his head and walked away. Now I fill my water bottle with no problems and enjoy my ice water whenever I want.

So, I work at a company that prides itself on having a detailed, overly complicated policy manual for everything. We’ve got rules for rules, basically. My manager, let’s call him Dave, is the kind of guy who loves micromanaging. He’d constantly hover over our shoulders, pointing out every tiny mistake we made, saying, “If it’s in the manual, you must follow it.”

One day, Dave sent me an urgent email asking me to finish a big project before the end of the day. Normally, I’d do it my usual way—efficiently and with a bit of common sense. But Dave insisted that I “strictly adhere to the manual” since it was a “high-visibility project” and he didn’t want “any mistakes.”

Oh, Dave. You shouldn’t have said that.

I pulled out the manual and went full compliance mode. 1. Every procedure, no matter how small, was followed to the letter. Normally, I’d skip pointless steps, like writing a detailed log for every 10-minute task. Not this time. I logged everything. Starting a document? Log it. Saving the file? Log it again. Changing font size? Yep, logged. 2. Requests for approvals? Oh, absolutely. The manual says certain steps need “managerial sign-off,” so I emailed Dave at least five times throughout the day for approvals. “Hey, Dave, just confirming font size 12 is acceptable? Please reply so I can continue.” “Hi, Dave, should I use blue headers or red headers as per policy section 14.3.2?” 3. Breaks were strictly enforced. Policy states we get two 15-minute breaks and a 1-hour lunch. Normally, I’d work through a bit of lunch to get things done, but not today. At 12:00 sharp, I dropped everything and left my desk. I also spent 15 minutes at exactly 10:00 and 3:00 “resting.” 4. Every department had to be involved. The manual said I needed sign-offs from IT, HR, and marketing for certain sections, even though they had nothing to do with the project. I looped them in with formal requests, dragging out the timeline.

By the end of the day, the project wasn’t finished. I spent so much time “complying” with the manual that I didn’t even get halfway through.

Dave was furious and asked why it wasn’t done. I calmly explained that I followed every single policy and procedure in the manual, just like he instructed. I even showed him the email chain proving he’d approved my steps.

After that, Dave stopped breathing down my neck and started letting me work how I wanted.

Lesson learned: Sometimes, the best way to fix a broken system is to show exactly how broken it is.

This was some time ago, but the story is still good one for angry customers. I was working for a cell phone company. In bound C/S and Tech support. As usual is my fault … and … happened
This one customer has always stuck in my mind. ( yelling of corse ) “the bill is always wrong I need my phones shut off now” along those lines. Per policy I need to tell the angry guy. If I shut the account off RIGHT NOW this call will end and all your account will. Told me I was a smart ass and suddenly the line was dead.

( just expanding on a comment I made in another thread )

A couple of years ago I was in the Navy, and assigned duties onboard a ship. At the start of the story, I was an extremely-junior servicemember (lowest rank in my shop). Typically, on-board the ship our usual uniform was coveralls (in our department) and we arrived and left from the ship when in homeport in civilian clothes. Now, we were moving up the river (about 4 hours underway, about an hour driving distance) for a week to on-load weapons stores for a training exercise underway coming up later that month. Typically, when leaving the area of the port of record (which we would, for the training exercise), we're also required to have suitable transit-uniforms aboard in case we pull into port elsewhere.

For this week long weapons on-load, I had no plans to leave the ship, and we weren't leaving our port of record's geographical area, and would be returning to our home berth again before the upcoming trip, so I didn't prep my uniforms to bring onboard, seeing no use for them. At the last minute, our medical department scheduled medical appointments on our behalf at a small satellite clinic at the weapons station, with no input of our own, and informed me I'd have a dental appointment while there. I immediately went to my supervisor with the issue, because I had no suitable uniforms for off-ship use onboard, and we were required to attend medical appointments in uniform. I get written up for not having my uniforms. Now, there is no specific policies on which types or how many uniforms are required to be on board, but there *are* specific policies on having "sea-bag inspections" and what is required to be present for them, so my write up was for not having an inspection-ready sea bag available. Copy that, makes sense! When we get home that weekend, i move all my military uniforms aboard, bringing a full inspection-ready sea bag to the ship as required, and leaving no uniforms at home. Everything's peachy!

Fast forward a few years, and I have Commanding Officer's approval to miss an upcoming late-minute re-scheduled underway due to prior-scheduled leave in order to re-enlist. While I'm halfway across the country re-enlisting, my department fails an important inspection for our deployment workups. The inspectors work with the ship's command to re-schedule, and they adjust the underway schedule last-minute again, now they're getting underway for a re-inspect the night before my leave ends, and the re-inspection starts the day I return from leave (the inspectors will be ferried to the ship the morning of by water-taxi). They ask me to curtail my leave a day early, buy new tickets, and show up, to help with this re-inspect. I inform them that I would prefer not to dole out thousands of dollars of my own money for last minute changes to travel arrangements because of their failure, but understand if ordered I can financially do so. Since my leave was approved by the CO to miss an underway, I'd like verbiage from the CO that my leave has been rescinded, recalling me. And if I receive such, it'll make me question my dedication to re-enlisting in a navy that doesn't care about my financial well-being (meaning i'll leave the 6 months earlier than they expected, when i get out of the navy instead of re-enlist), and won't return with signed reenlistment papers.

They balked, of course, and had me report the day my leave was originally planned to end. They decided I'd catch a ride with the water taxi, and all the senior-officer inspectors, for the hour trip to meet the ship. Sounded interesting.

The stinger? I asked them what I should wear for the water taxi ride, as all my uniforms were on the ship. They freaked out and asked why all my uniforms were on the ship, naturally. I explained I was ordered to do so by my supervisor and received a counseling chit for not having left all my uniforms on the ship, previously. My options? Some recently-cleaned coveralls (I'd take them home for laundry, ensuring I kept 2 pairs on the ship as required for sea bag rules) from before my leave, or my civilian clothes. Why? Because that's what I was told to do the last time a shipboard uniform use issue came up.

So yeah, there I was, a junior E5, in civilian clothes, on board a chartered water taxi with a bunch of O4/O5/O6s in their uniforms, at 5 in the morning, on the way to re-do a previously failed inspection.

TL;DR (thanks /u/LivingAmongMormons ):

Military situation where i didn't have the right uniform available, got written up for hot having it, made sure *all uniforms* were onboard and available in future, but later needed a uniform at home and didn't have one due to earlier write up.

One of my jobs is in what is apparently one of three sources of food (alongside Canes&ChicFilA) in a town of about 150k people.

I don't know if we are just on a cosmic nexus of stupidity or what, but I would say maybe 50-70% of our customers suffer from some form of Illiteracy. One of these is coupon Illiteracy.

So many customers do not know what those symbols on the coupon mean aside from the numbers. (IF they see them...) So when we have a deal going on, sometimes the deal is actually better than the coupon offer.

Thus I end up charging someone more cause I have to price override the item to use the coupon which actually means it went up in price. It's what the customer wants...

Other customers think they can beat us by ordering a cheaper item... then making a bunch of modifications to transform it into something else.

"I would like a veggie sub but can you please add Ham to it?"

Don't wanna just order a ham? Have fun - that's an additional charge to you...

"Hi I want a chicken sandwich but can you replace the chicken with steak?"

Okay so so want a steak sandwich?

"No I want a chicken but with steak instead"

Well if you wanna pay the substitution charge what am I to go with? I mean you don't work here and you said this was how you want it made...

P.S. Why is so much R&D spent making an easily comprehended menu when nobody ever sees it? The literate few look at the dinky little nutrientional&allergen information and say we need a proper menu... never mind the big bold menu that is literally right in front of their fucking faces...

This ain't my story, but a friend's, who's a truck driver.

Recently the contractor company said friend's boss works with got an electric truck. This is a big company, they already got a few of them, but at a different location, where charging is far easier due to many stations around. Cause it "seems" to go well (yeah "seems", cause next year the electric trucks won't be exempt from paying tolls and mind you an electric truck costs twice as much as a full option Scania), they thought it'd be a great idea and good promo to get another E-Truck at the location my friend works at; only before ordering nobody checked on charging stations or even the distances and roads this guy drives, only that his hometown is practical for their endeavor.

Now comes the good part; turns out we ain't got many stations that can charge a truck. I am no electrician by any means, but I'd still consider myself technically apt, so I (yes, I went through the hassle to talk to this company) tried explaining that charging a battery is like filling a barrel, only that you attach the hose to the bottom, so you NEED a certain amount X of base pressure to get that shit flowing and because most charging stations only pack 75-150kW that's a no-go (for a TRUCK). The only 300kW station in the area is located in the next city, not too far, but traffic SUCKS. Imagine driving an hour to make a 10m distance. But management had other problems ENTIRELY; turns out their problem was that the 300kW station charges, dunno the exact value, methinks like 80ct/kW, the 150kW station, however, costs only 65ct/kW, so they DEMANDED he charge the truck where it's cheaper.

And here it gets even better; this here is the reason, why I tried reasoning with them, to no avail of course.

Not every charging station is built to accommodate a truck not even the ones that pack 300kW. Which means my man here has to first find an empty space to leave his trailer. Once your done with that, you still gotta find an empty lot to park and charge. And once you're there, there's still the possibility of someone parking next to you and grabbing the 2nd charging cable of the station, which then halves the performance to 75kW. Just for reference; even charging at a 300kW station takes 2h!

So after our arguments hit a brick wall, he gave in. "You want me to waste valuable time on a piss poor charger, just cause it's a little bit cheaper?! Fine." Next day he proceeds to charging, after 2 or 3 hours the office gets the jitters, cause work keeps piling up and they can't always manage to bring the freight in time, so they call him "Aren't you done charging, yet?!" - "Nope, not even close, buddy." - "When tf are you planning on returning?! We need you at work. Y'know a truck only brings in money, when it's rolling, not parking." - "I ain't the one that came up with the idea to charge a fuckin' TRUCK at a150kW station, you sent me here! I tried explaining it you, but you wouldn't listen. And unless you want me to come over just to look for the next charging station, you'll have to wait." - "How long?" - "Welp, I just hit the 17% mark so imma be here for awhile."

He was camped out there the whole day, didn't get shit done and at the end the battery still wasn't fully charged. They never bothered him again.

So, back in the day I was a truck driver. The company had a few trucks that were made for different jobs. Depending on the job you had to deliver determined the truck you drove. So it was not too uncommon to drive three different trucks in one day. The company was piss poor on maintenance of the vehicles. Over the years with them I received a few fines for things like no inspection and stuff like that. Even though I received the fine, the company would pay the fine. No harm, no foul. Finally our "big truck" really started to go down hill. It got to the point where it was barely running and needed a ton of repairs costing thousands to fix! I told the company I refuse to drive the truck as it was an accident waiting to happen! Well this lasted a week and then they said that I needed to drive the truck for one delivery. Unfortunately, I agreed out of a need to be a team player, and service my customer. The drive was horrible! It was leaving a trail of smoke 10ft high as I drove down the highway! I knew I was in trouble when they loaded a case of motor oil in the cab for me to fill the engine if needed! On the way there in the am cars behind me were turning on their high beams to see becasue of the smoke trail I was leaving! Then as the sun finally came up, people were pulling up next to me on the highway, honking, and giving me the finger! I found out so much liquid oil was coming out the exhaust that oil was landing on the vehicles behind me! It was only a 50 mile round trip and the truck lost 24 quarts of oil and almost a tank of fuel! So I again I told them I would not drive the truck till its fixed. As a truck driver you are required to do a pre trip inspection of the vehicle prior to driving every day. You mark down the defects and there is room for notes in the log book. One copy stays in the truck and one copy goes to the company, there's a third copy that goes to D.O.T if requested. I made sure to fill this out fully everytime I drove this truck! I also made a seperate list, mostly as a note for myself covering things that I thought was important but not nessesarily a part of the pre trip inspection. The next day I came in and found the truck fully loaded. I told them I was not driving the truck! They said Well you have too! After a quick thought I said OK.

Que malicious compliance! I pulled out of the lot, at the traffic light I'd make a left to head to the job, however I was out of fuel, so I had to turn right to get to the gas station to fuel up, then back track to head to the job. And yes I meant gas! It was a 33k lb truck with a gas engine! Well, D.O.T was set up on the other side of the road just before the gas station! They watched as I drove by, wishing they could get me! In case you don't know. D.O.T stands for the Department of Transportation. For big trucks, they run the weigh stations on the highway. But in heavy truck areas they set up a mobile station and inspect trucks randomaly. They verify paperwork is in order and the vehicle and driver are safe! Any fines here are expensive! Plus they can put a truck out of service meaning it must be it cannot be driven till repaired. At that point it must be towed and fixed! Then I pull in the fuel station. As I'm filling, I can feel them watching me!

So, I leave the fuel station and head back towards D.O.T! They run out into the street to make me pull in! They wanted this truck! I pull in and shut down the truck. The D.O.T. cop walks up to the truck with a creeper. I say why do you need that? He says, what? I say the creeper? He says I gotta check your truck! I say nah, I gotta list! I hand him my notes and log book! He says, Hmm! Then he goes back to his car and I can see him furiously writing! After about 30 minuets he comes back! He says to me, Why are you driving this truck? I tell him they told me I had to! There's no other truck? He asks? Nope I reply. What happens if you don't drive this? He asks? I say I guess I sit home! He says I'll be right back! After about another 20 minuets he comes back to me. He slaps a big red "out of service" tag on the windshield. Then he tells me. There are 21 issues that are putting the truck out of service, plus I am giving the company a fine for letting you drive this truck! Unfortunately, your fuel tax sticker is expired! If I write you up for this it is a $10k fine to you! But I called in the local cops, it will be a $90 fine for you that the company should pay! I thank him and he leaves.

I call the company and get a ride back to the warehouse! Bottom line they paid all fines which were north of $65k including towing! The next week we had a fleet of new leased trucks with a maintenance plan with replacement trucks, if ours were down for issues! And they came out and washed the trucks twice a month!

I worked there another 2 years and quit because of other truck issues! A competitor poached me with better money. But this goes to show. I am not risking my life and the publics life for your job! In the end you paid for a $65k lesson! When I say I'm not doing it! I'm not doing it unless it's safe!

Then I pull in the fuel station. As I'm filling I can feel them watching me!

My great uncle passed away at 97 and I heard this great story of malicious compliance at his memorial service today.

He worked for over 50 years at the same confectionery factory and for most of that time he was a boiler room attendant. This was just after WW2 and at the time most of the machines and processes were powered by steam, even the heating. The steam was generated by massive boilers and it was his job to monitor the boilers to make sure nothing went wrong. These boilers could potentially explode, causing great damage. By law the boiler had to be attended at all times and there were shifts that watched them around the clock, even when the factory was closed. They took so long to heat up that it was easier and cheaper to leave them running at night.

After about ten years of no incidents the company hired a leading hand who would also act as the Safety Officer. He had been a sergeant in the army and he took his job quite seriously, being quite the disciplinarian. He instituted a mulititude of new procedures, some warranted, some just to establish control. The first time he wanted to conduct a fire drill, he went around telling the staff that when they heard the alarm they had to exit the building in an orderly fashion. He got to the boiler room and it was my great uncle on duty that day. He informed him he would not be able to evacuate with everyone else and had to stay with the boiler. The Safety Officer didn't give him time to explain why, he just bluntly informed him that he was to treat the fire drill as if it was a real fire, no exceptions.

When the fire bell finally rang, my uncle did exactly what he was told to do. He turned off the gas to the boilers, vented all the built up steam, purged the water an joined everyone outside. At the evacuation point they were doing a head count when the Production Manager spotted my uncle and immediately approached him and asked what he was doing away from the boiler. He said he was participating in the Fire Drill as instructed but not to worry as he had shut the boiler down completely. The colour immediately drained from the managers face.

He was asked how long it would take to bring the boilers back online. Apparently it would take hours alone just to fill the boilers with water and heat them up. The big issue was that because they had done an emergency purge they were required to inspect every pipe, joint and connection for damage before to make sure it was safe to start to reheat. The other boiler men were called in and they got paid double time to work through the night to get the boiler ready for the next day. Production Staff all got sent home but still got paid for the day as it wasn't their fault the factory couldn't run. It cost them a days production as well.

Safety Officer did keep his job but for the next 40 years the boiler staff were all exempt from fire drills.

I work at a big retail chain, where the stockroom is the wild west and chaos is the norm. We recently got a new supervisor, Sarah, who seems to think she’s running the Navy SEALs or something. She’s obsessed with speed—constantly on us about how we need to get things done faster. Doesn’t matter if it’s done right, as long as it’s done fast.

So one day, during peak restock time when we’re drowning in boxes, Sarah storms in with her clipboard and her best “I’m in charge” face. She corners me while I’m halfway through a massive inventory check and says, “You’re taking way too long with these. Just get through them quickly. We don’t have time to check every single item!”

I try to explain that rushing inventory checks is a bad idea, but she cuts me off with a condescending smile. “If you can’t speed this up, maybe this job isn’t the right fit for you,” she says, all smug like she just dropped a bombshell. 😒

Alright, Sarah. You want speed? Let’s see how fast things can spiral out of control.

So, I take her words to heart and decide to follow her instructions exactly. The next day, I’m scheduled for another inventory check. Instead of my usual process where I count everything carefully, I decide to play Sarah’s game. I glance at the shelves and make up numbers that seem about right. I don’t even bother opening boxes to check if what’s inside matches the labels. I fly through the whole process, marking items off like I’m speed-running a video game. What usually takes me 2 hours, I finish in just 20 minutes.

Sarah sees me finish up, and I can see her eyes light up. She walks over, grinning ear to ear. “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it? If you keep this up, you might even get a little bonus this month,” she says, patting herself on the back for her brilliant leadership skills. 🙄

Fast forward a week, and the store manager, Mike, calls an emergency meeting. The inventory reports have come back, and they’re a total disaster. According to the report, we’re missing thousands of dollars worth of products. It looks like we either lost half the stock or we’re running some underground black market. Mike’s pissed, customers are complaining about out-of-stock items, and the regional manager is breathing down his neck.

Mike turns to Sarah and asks her to explain how this could’ve happened. Sarah, trying to save face, immediately points at the team and says, “They must’ve messed up the counts. They weren’t thorough enough.” She’s throwing us under the bus without a second thought.

This is where I decide to strike. I raise my hand and say, “Actually, I did exactly what Sarah told us to do. She said to skip checking the items and just get it done as quickly as possible. I was just following orders.”

You could hear a pin drop. Mike slowly turns to Sarah, his expression going from confused to furious. “Is this true?” he asks, narrowing his eyes at her.

Sarah’s stammering now, trying to backtrack. “Well, I—uh, I didn’t mean to skip it entirely. I just meant to speed it up…”

But it’s too late. The damage is done. Mike’s already fuming. “So you decided to cut corners on the one thing that affects our bottom line? You do realize we have to do a full recount now because of this mess, right?”

And that’s exactly what happens. The next day, Sarah and a few unlucky team members spend 12 hours redoing the entire inventory check from scratch. The rest of us get to enjoy watching them sweat it out while we handle our regular duties. It’s glorious.

As they’re counting, I make sure to walk by every so often and ask, “Need any help speeding things up? I could skip a few checks for you if that helps!” The look on Sarah’s face every time is pure rage mixed with embarrassment. She can’t say anything because she knows I’m just doing what she asked for.

By the end of it, we’ve found thousands of dollars in discrepancies. Turns out, rushing through inventory checks leaves a lot of room for errors—who knew? 🙄 The regional manager isn’t happy and Sarah ends up getting a formal warning. She stops harping on us about speed after that and even tries to be extra nice whenever I’m around. Guess she realized that maybe, just maybe, some tasks shouldn’t be rushed.

The best part? A couple of weeks later, I get a small bonus for "outstanding attention to detail" in helping fix the inventory mess. Oh, the irony. Sarah couldn’t even look me in the eye when I got the bonus slip.

And every time she walks by me now, I just give her a friendly smile and say, “Don’t worry, boss, I’m working as fast as you want!”

I work at a gas station in Oregon, with half the pumps being self-serve and half being mini-service, which means that we're there to pump your gas for you but not obligated to do anything else, like wash your windshield. But we do when we're asked, to be nice.

There's this lady that comes in almost every day and gets like $5 or $10 worth of gas, asks us to wash her windshield, and never tips. She's really weird about it like it's her little power trip. Last time she was in, it was raining, and she still smugly asked me to wash her windshield. And being hardcore customer service guy, I did, but then I thought twice about it after the fact. I go that length for nice folks, but she's not nice, she's bitchy and whiny and weird.

So windshield lady comes in today and hands me $9 for gas and then as usual asks me to wash her windshield with a smug look on her face. I said I would, but then by the time I got back out, there were a good 8 cars on the pumps. I told her I'm sorry I can't do your windshield right now. It's too busy. Well, she gets really snotty with me and has me stop the pump, which means that since she paid cash, she needs her change. OK, you'll get your change.

I went inside and told my coworker I need the change on pump 2, but make sure to vend extra pennies from the safe and put 50 of them in there, loose. He looked at me like I was crazy, but then I explained who it was for, and so he gladly handed me over the change.

By the way, we have to wait in line inside the attached convenience store with other customers to get change for gas. Because our pump guy often doesnt have their own till open for a shift. So as I was standing in line to get windshield lady's change, she came inside and was death-glaring our other customers and then must have seen me waiting and went back out to her car.

She was already getting snotty with me the moment I walked back out to her car. So put the 3 dollar bills in her hand and then an absolute cascading assload of pennies and a few nickels on them. "Sorry, we're short on silver," I said.

The look on her face--that was the most satisfying use of pennies ever. She sounded like Mr Lumbergh Milton from Office Space. She was still stammering when she was driving away and I didn't listen to or identify a single word she said. Hoping this will discourage her from coming back. But if it doesn't, then we will once again have a shortage of silver change. Because alas, that is the economy that we are in, times are tough.

Edit: Someone I work with found this post and sent me the link. He's a bit high right now and said "dude, this sounds like what happened to us". Poor guy is freaking out right now.

A few months ago, a new business investor at work came on board as a manager, and he has been an absolute hard-ass. He is cracking down on anything he considers to be a waste of time, and he is unforgiving. After a week of "watching us work", he and the other managers held a company-wide meeting to "iron out some wrinkles" in the company that he observed since he started.

It wasn't an open dialogue though, in fact that's one of the things he wanted to wrinkle out, it was essentially just 20min of "it's our way or the highway, deal with it". The line "If we want your input, we will ask for it. Period." really stuck with me though, and it was made abundantly clear afterwards that it was directed at me.

The company has had a big problem recently with employee turnover, and I was in the position to know why, since I interact with everyone through my role. Essentially, people are quitting because the work they were doing wasn't what they signed up to do. The phrase "if I knew this is what I would be doing, I wouldn't have accepted the job" was a common sentiment. They accepted the job under the impression that they would be serving customers, answering emails and phone calls, general customer service stuff, but instead they spend about 90% of their time in a hot warehouse packing online orders over and over again.

I shared that with management. I let them know what the people leaving were saying, in case they wanted to take that into account moving forward. They just thanked me and I left, but the new manager hated that so much that he decided to make a meeting about giving them unsolicited advice.

They spoke with me privately afterwards and referred back to when I told them about what the quitting employees said, and they told me that the way they interpreted that was that I was implying that they were being deceitful when hiring people. I told them no, I don't think that at all, I was just relaying what those people were saying about how they felt.

They didn't care. They doubled down and said again "if we want your input, we will ask for it. Period". That's how I knew it was directed at me. I asked them for clarification, like what constitutes advice or input, and the new boss said "unless you are asking us a question about the work you're supposed to be doing, we don't want to hear it. We don't want your opinion on how you think we should handle situations, we don't want your ideas on how you think the business can be better run, and we don't want gossip about what other people are saying about us, just focus on your job."

Fine then, I'll roll with that, no problem. I've worked for them for years and they always appreciated my ideas, opinions and input until that point, but hey, if they don't want my input anymore, that's their choice and I'll respect that. I knew it was just the new boss saying that stuff since this sort of attitude with them only started when he did, but the others either agreed with him or were too intimidated to disagree. Either way, whatever, I'll comply with their request.

Since then, the problem hasn't been fixed. We've had two more people come and go, both of them because "they didn't sign up for this". Shocker.

A third one started about five weeks ago, and he has taken his frustration in a different direction. I've overheard him complaining over and over again to other people about how he didn't sign on to stand around in a hot warehouse for hours packing online orders, but instead of quitting like everyone else, he just got angrier and angrier.

And then he hulked out.

I was upstairs at my desk when I started to hear smashing. I went down to the warehouse to see what was going on, and this guy was taking customer's packages and smashing them out of frustration. A few others in the warehouse gathered and just watched in amusement. It was like something out of a cartoon.

The new boss heard the commotion and came down. Long story short, the guy was fired and I was asked if I knew why he flipped out.

I said "I don't know what happened exactly to cause him to flip out, but I know that for weeks he's been complaining about not signing up to work in a hot warehouse for hours. Maybe he just reached a tipping point about it, not sure"

And he said "well why didn't you tell us?"

So, of course, I said "because last time I told you that employees were complaining about that, you accused me of implying that you were being deceitful when hiring them. Then you told me to stop gossiping"

He had to eat crow a bit on that, which was just so fucking delicious to witness, but I was also reprimanded for taking the request "too literally" and he accused me of being "petty".

Whatever though, I don't care, because I had to adjust the stock levels for the goods that had to be replaced and they lost about $10,000 in the rampage. Some of the items that were smashed worth $2000 each. Learning that made the whole thing worthwhile.

Perhaps enjoying that does make me petty...

I’ll preface this by saying: Yes, there are people this stupid and bullheaded.

Let me set the scene: The year is 1985, and I was an E4 sailor aboard a US Navy support ship somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. When traveling at night, Navy ships would turn off all exterior lights so as not to interfere with the bridge crew’s night vision. There were dim red lights but ABSOLUTELY NO WHITE LIGHTS were permitted when running dark. Even the doors and hatches leading to the exterior had switches to automatically turn off all of a compartments’ interior lights if the exterior door was opened.

I was working with another E4 in a small compartment out on deck where the underway replenishment controls were (probably painting something, I don’t remember). It was a moonless night, and pitch black. A really pissed off E6 from another department stumbled into the doorway, pointed, and told me to flip three switches on the bulkhead. These were the underway replenishment lights for night operations; similar to stadium lights. I told him “I can’t do that, those are exterior lights.” He said “This isn’t up for debate. Flip the fucking switches.” I said “Is that an order?” “If you don’t do it, I’ll write you up.” So I said to the other E4 “you heard him.” And flipped the switches.

That was when I learned that Navy ships have VERY loud loudspeakers forward of the bridge. A voice boomed out “TURN THOSE FUCKING LIGHTS OFF NOW!!!” The E6 dived over me to turn off the lights. Within seconds a Master at Arms showed up to escort the E6 to talk to the duty officer. I don’t remember for sure but I think he got Captain’s Mast for that.

Just following orders.

EDIT: Captain’s Mast is non-judicial punishment. At sea, the Captain has complete authority. It’s like a trial where the Captain reads the charges, gives the accused an opportunity to speak and decides on a punishment (usually reduction in rank, extra duty, etc). Everyone I knew that got it, it was for smoking weed or coke (meth was just getting popular in SoCal).

Sick with Covid and emailed my boss that I can’t come in. I asked if I can work from home, but he said no and I should take the day off. The next day I asked again, just so I won’t use up my sick days. He finally said yes and that I should only work half day ,and use 4 hours in sick leave. Not too happy, but I do what I was told, and then got an email from HR: “ Exempt employees get full day of pay as long as they work at least 50% of the day” Since then I’ve been leaving work early when I finish my work for the day. It’s been pretty much 5-6 hr days for me. Technically, my boss is from another department and we seldom have to cross paths.

So for the past year I’ve been getting calls from Contractors asking if I want any work done on my property. They start off by calling me by name which is not mine and then asking if I live at a certain address which also isn’t mine. I tell them I’m not that person please stop calling my phone. I tell them I don’t own any property please stop calling my phone. I ask them to put me on the do not call list. Sometimes they just hang up sometimes they just get rude and say things like why would we stop calling you have us your number. For a long time I would just hang up before saying anything because when the call connects it makes this beeping sound when I pick up so I know it’s them before they even say anything. Well after over a year of this I decided to say “yep that’s me” when they ask me if I’m that person. When they ask me if I still stay at the address I say yep that’s my house. When they ask me if I want any solar, landscaping, painting, or driveway work, etc done I say yeah I sure do. Then they tell me they will have someone come out to my property what time is good for me. I tell them a time when traffic is worst like late afternoon. Then they call me when they get there and tell me they have been waiting for 10 minutes and I tell them I had to go to the store real quick and I’ll be back in 10 minutes. It’s very satisfying.

This didn't happen directly to me, but a person I used to work with a couple of years back.

We worked as system consultants and would travel to the sites we were assisting during the phases of the projects that required being there in person.

As travel costs for these trips would directly impact the budget of the project or were passed on to the client, we were encouraged to travel as lightly and plan as much ahead as possible, chosing the lowest fare within reason and not go overboard with the hotel and meals.

Most of the time this worked well enough. If something was out of the ordinary, usually a quick call to whomever to explain the reason behind it would clear things up, our expenses would be approved and we'd carry on.

Until the company was hired by this one customer. People there seemed to operate out of some parallel world where the constraints of the real world would not apply.

Anyway, the usual policy of being cost conscious also applied there and the controller from the customer made a point to let us know that they would not approve expenses our company or my “colleague”, who was a directly hired contractor, submitted, if we weren't mindful of costs.

It inevitably happened that we flew in for our first in-person meeting and, booking the lowest available fare within a reasonable schedule, meant we flew without checked luggage and showed up in button down shirts, dark chinos and black slip on shoes.

Not the most formal attire, but certainly not in pyjamas, and perfectly acceptable for every other client up to then.

Well, not for these people. We were taken aside and told that their C-Suite management was very taken aback that their provider couldn't even manage to show up in suits, proper shoes and an ironed shirt.

I was stumped, but my contractor colleague retained his cool and simply asked for a quick two sentence email with the requirement for suits, ironed shirts and formal shoes. The client surprisingly obliged.

Queue our next trip and when coordinating with my colleague to book similar flight times and the same hotel, things got interesting.

First, we were flying in the evening before, second, we were checking lugge, third the no-frills hotel a little further out of town, but close enough to the client's office wouldn't do this time.

Since they wanted formal attire without any creases, we'd have to check in trolley, because two suits and a fresh shirt for each day plus a spare weren't going to fit in our carry-on. And since we'd have to iron any creases out, we have to book a hotel that has ironing facilities, so the business hotel downtown it has to be this time. And the time spent ironing will be invoiced, or at least my contractor colleague will…

I'll skip over the uneventful meeting and go straight to when my company's invoice and the contractor's expenses claim got rejected. Since we had the email requesting formal wear, we argued that this was done at the client's request.

The controller wouldn't budge. So the contractor immediately stopped working for the client and told my management as much, recommending I do the same. After missing a deadline and a couple of remote meetings (all with a short but sweet answer that there was an outstanding payment), the controller relented, the C-suite dropped the dress code, and we dropped the client the moment the contract was done.

I have sine been contacted by them again through LinkedIn in an attempt to recruit me. LOL

This one is from my early days when I was working as a technician for an internet provider company but it still brings a smile to my face when I remember it...and recently had a technician coming to install my internet and it all came back.

I was working mostly residential buildings and my job that time was pretty simple - come to the basement, find our distribution box, patch the cable to the right endpoint for the requesting flat, go to the flat, fix cable outlet when needed, verify cable is live (there is signal coming through and it is the right signal - this is somewhat important) connect modem, verify all good tell the happy customer the internet is ready to use and off I go.

One day I am doing my job again but got this know-it-all guy. Had to call him to let me in the building and it was a blast right from the start. First he told me he knew exactly where my company distribution box is only to lead me to the electricity provider box. Then he is absolutely sure his flat is number XX while the papers state YY and indeed was YY. There were a few more "helps" from his side which I skip to avoid this becoming a book. But eventually we are up in the flat and I am going to check the signal but the guy is like "come on, hurry up, need my connection, need to work on super important stuff".

I tell him I need to test the signal first but here he opens up my malicious compliance window - he says "you do not need to do that, just connect the cable, if the cable is live, just go and I will finish it myself". I still give him a chance by explicitly stressing that test will take some minutes only, but if it does not work, I will not be able to come earlier than in a couple of days. No, absolutely not, he can finish it by himself. Okay, my man, you've got it.

Already too long story, to make it short - cable was live, but the signal was from local TV antennae, not from our cable internet. This was actually relatively common issue at that time (older residential buildings, reused wiring, cable patching to "a wrong one") and was not so hard to fix once you knew what's wrong. I only imagine what the guy tried to make it work before calling our call center to schedule my visit again. What I know is I came to the flat 3 days later only to be greeted by his lovely wife which made me some tea and thanked me for being kind and fixing the problem.

To come to a closure - when a technician came to install my internet a few days ago I made him some tea and told him to take his time and do all that's needed. We had a little chat and guess what - the process and issues are still the same and recently he was telling his junior colleague why checking "if cable is live" is not enough.

In the early days of the British colony in Sydney, Australia, the authorities viewed the Church of England as part of the establishment, and required convicts to attend church every Sunday in an attempt to install “good morals”. This grated somewhat on those of the convict population who were from a Roman Catholic background (particularly the Irish).

As the colony developed, and grants of land were made further away from Sydney Cove (the initial settlement point), churches of the Church of England flavour were set up, and ministers appointed to preach to and pastor the locals. Fairly early in the days of the colony, a settlement was established at Windsor, about 40km/25miles northwest of Sydney Cove. Settlers farming on granted land nearby could apply to have convicts to work as farm labourers and domestic servants. These arrangements involved written contracts, specifying the responsibilities of the landholders and the convicts. These contracts included the stipulation that the convicts must attend the church service at “St Matthew’s Church, Windsor” every Sunday.

The Roman Catholic priests in Sydney did not take this lying down. In 1840, St Matthew’s Catholic Church was set up in Windsor. Convicts in the area of a Roman Catholic persuasion could comply with the letter of their employment contracts without having to be subject to that nasty Protestantism.

Hopefully a good one for you. Sorry for any mistakes as English is not my first language. A few details are changed for anonymity.

I work at a niche retail store located in the heart of town. Our customers are dedicated and often travel from afar just to visit us, so having a clear and accessible parking lot is crucial for our business. Unfortunately, our next door neighbours, a family-run landscaping and garden supply store, have been a thorn in our side for years when it comes to parking.

The tension between my boss and the landscaping store owner goes back over a decade before I joined, all over something trivial. I know the landscaper once complained about a tree on our side of the lot, which was unsightly for their customers. It was the pettiest neighbour drama you could imagine, but it festered for years.

The final straw came after the ‘rona, when the physical business in town started picking back up and our parking lot started overflowing with cars again, many belonging to the landscaping store’s customers. See, our two parking lots are connected. Ours is about twice the size of his, but the landscaper had decided to reserve almost all his spots for his landscaping vans. Ironically, those vans are rarely even there during business hours. As a result, his customers just parked in our lot, leaving us with few spaces for our own customers.

My boss, trying to be reasonable, approached the landscaper with a suggestion. Maybe they could adjust their parking setup to free up a few more spaces for customers, and that their vans were welcome to park in our lot, if their lot was ever full. But the landscaper shot down the idea immediately, insisting that it was “absolutely crucial” to reserve all of those spaces for his vans, even though they were rarely there during the day. The conversation turned heated, ending with my boss threatening to put up a fence to separate the lots and enforce parking. The landscaper, practically daring him, shot back, “Go ahead.” Probably knowing how expensive that would be. As you can imagine, it ended with both men storming off and not speaking for two years. Typical neighbour stuff.

Fast forward to recently, and we got a golden opportunity when a parking management company approached us with a proposal. They offered to install automated license plate cameras to enforce parking, allowing us to fine vehicles that stayed beyond a generous 3-hour free window, if they hadn’t paid. The setup would be free, we’d get most of the revenue and they would keep any fines issued. It was perfect, especially since we were losing spaces to freeloaders, wouldn't really impact the customers of the nearby stores, and if anyone had a good reason to park there for longer, then we could give them an extension at our discretion.

However, for the cameras to work, they needed to cover both our entrance and the landscaping store’s entrance. Being the considerate neighbour (again), my boss had the parking company rep reach out to the landscaper to explain the deal and benefits. But true to form, the landscaper didn’t even let the rep finish before kicking him out, making it very clear very clear that, under no circumstances, would his lot become a paid parking zone.

Instead of going through the hassle of putting up the necessary expensive fence, my boss had a better idea: big rocks. One of his construction buddies had a stash of leftover rocks from a recent project and offered to place them for a great price. The parking company even agreed to front the cost, to be repaid through future parking revenue.

On Monday morning, before opening hours, one of the buddy’s employees, a big, burly guy with arms like tree trunks, arrived with a truck and crane to place the rocks. The rocks were neatly spaced to allow pedestrians to pass with carts but completely blocked vehicle access. The landscaper stormed out, yelling and trying to intimidate the worker into stopping. But the worker, unfazed, calmly told him to step back for his own safety, which made the much smaller landscaper back down and retreat in frustration.

The rocks weren’t just a physical barrier. They quickly became a mental obstacle for the landscapers’s employees. Their muscle memory kept bringing them into our lot, only for them to realize too late that they couldn’t drive through anymore. We watched from our newly installed surveillance cameras, just in case the neighbour tried anything, trying not to burst out laughing as their vans ended up awkwardly stuck. They’d have to reverse out and go all the way around to their own entrance, only to perform a series of painful maneuvers to squeeze into their now much smaller parking area. At one point, we even caught one of their rushing vans clipping a rock while trying to maneuver. A little bonus for our viewing pleasure.

The next day, the parking company arrived to install the license plate cameras and set up the signage, which took a few hours. Throughout the installation, the landscaper’s family members were prowling around our lot, snapping photos and videos as if they were on a mission to find a violation. But the parking company was very professional, and had done everything by the book, so there was nothing for them to report. In the meantime, my boss was positively glowing with satisfaction as he helped direct the installation.

Here’s the best part: We noticed that the neighbour's family had started parking their personal vehicles in our lot, likely out of spite to mess with us. One day, my coworker saw one of the family members dash out of their store and sprint to their car. We thought it was odd at the time but didn’t think much of it until the following week, when the landscaper’s son came into our store looking a bit embarrassed.

Apparently, he had accidentally overstayed the 3-hour limit and received a $150 fine. The son practically begged us to waive it, insisting it was just a simple mistake. My boss politely responded, “Oh, I’d really love to help, but it’s out of our control now. The parking company handles all the fines.”

The look on his face was priceless. He left, shoulders slumped retreating back to their store.

Ever since, our lot has been blissfully clear, and our customers have had no trouble finding spaces. Meanwhile, the landscapers have been grumbling as they have a harder time maneuvering their vans, still trying to pretend they’re not bothered. As for my boss? He’s been smiling a lot more lately.

Sometimes, the best revenge is simply letting people get exactly what they asked for.

TL;DR: Neighbouring landscaping store took up parking, refused to cooperate. We followed their instructions and blocked off our lot and set up parking enforcement cameras. Within a week, they got fined, and came begging us to waive it. Boss simply told them it’s “Out of our hands.” Now, our lot is clear, and we're happier than ever.