/r/LONESTAR
A SATIRICAL (EXCEPT WHEN IT AIN'T) SUBREDDIT TO CELEBRATE THE EXTRA FREEDOM AND PATRIOTISM WE ENJOY AS TEXANS. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT GIT BACK TO CALIFORNIA!!!!
A satirical (except when it ain't) subreddit to celebrate the extra freedom and patriotism we enjoy as Texans. If you don't like it git back to California.
Rules:
No big brother
TEXAS
Any problem can be solved by 12 gauge and/or duct tape.
Due to the increase in ammo prices there will be no warning shot.
No cheating sooners
Straya: I'm not your mate, partner.
REMEMBER THE ALAMO, but, if you forget, write it down.
No squirrels. Armadillos are the true rodent.
No fancy tea drinkin', book readin', fancy shoe wearing, euro wueros
Who the fuck wants Alaskan, Florida, or New York, shaped corn chips? Nobody! PROOF
ALL HAIL [/r/whataburger](reddit.com/r/whataburger). The most holy sub on reddit and annual winner of /r/lonestar's "best sub" award.
Any man from florida can go back to florida.
Always use /r/weekendgunnit to learn about firearm safety
EVERYTHING IS BIGGER IN TEXAS. EVEN OUR RULES
HEB IS THE OFFICIAL STORE OF TEXAS
No YANKEES
Go Cowboys!!
NUMBER 1 IN EBOLA OR GTFO
IF YOU'RE IN OKLAHOMA, GTFO!!! (OF BOTH OUR SUB AND OKLAHOMA)
AS LONG AS JERRY "CALIFORNIAN" JONES IS THE OWNER, THE COWBOYS ARE NOT A LEGITIMATE NFL TEAM.
ANY USER POSTING A PICTURE OF AN UPROOTED BLUEBONNET WILL BE BANNED AND LEGALLY KILLED. NO EXCEPTIONS, SECOND TRIES, OR TAKE BACKS.
CALIFORNIA=FLORIDA
WHAT ABOUT THE TEXANS?
The official school of Texas is: The University of Texas (/r/UTAustin/)
SHINER IS THE OFFICIAL BEER OF TEXAS! LONESTAR BEER IS OWNED BY PABST WHICH IS NOT A TEXAS COMPANY!!!
ALL RULE BREAKERS WILL REPORT TO CHUCK NORRIS- TEXAS RANGER FOR A FLOGGING AND A ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE MOUTH.
WE LIVE AND DIE BY OUR BARBECUE
UNSPOKEN RULE: IN N OUT IS A COMMIE RESTAURANT
GRILLED MEAT IS NOT BARBEQUED MEAT! THE ONLY BARBEQUED MEAT IS BEEF BRISKET!
BARBECUE OR BARBEQUE IS EQUALLY CORRECT. ANYTHING OUTSIDE TEXAS IS NEITHER.
POP QUIZ: Do we really consider Kansas City to be BBQ capital of the world? (Turn monitor upside down to see the answer): ˙Qqq ┴ON SI 'S∀SN∀ʞ WOɹℲ פNIH┴⅄N∀ '┴I ƎS∩∀ƆƎq 'ON
/r/Murica: fuck yeah
/r/WesternWear: Yee haww!
/r/AustinGuns: Keep patriotism weird
/r/TEXASENTS: HB2165! HB2165?? HB2165!!!! HB2165... HB2165!?!?! HB2165!!
/r/TXoutdoors FOR ALL YER OUTDOOR NEEDS
https://discord.gg/YbZDuJB: Looking for a Discord server? THIS IS THE ONE FOR YOU!!!
How to make
Explosions
Use 3 hashtags for small explosion "###Explosions"
Use 5 hashtags for megabomb "#####AAAAH!!"
You can sticky your own posts by adding the word "sticky" anywhere in your title.
/r/LONESTAR
9,208 Subscribers
FACT: TEXAS MAPS ARE TEXAS TOUGH (AND $20 EACH!!!!!) YEAH TEXAS!!!
00:57 UTC
FACT: TEXANS OF ALL COLORS AND INCLINATIONS STAND UNITED IN DISLIKING THAT ARKANSAS HILLBILLY JERRY JONES!!!!YEAH TEXAS!!!
22:34 UTC
HOUSTON TEXANS @ DALLAS COWBOYS ON MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL!
PRIMETIME NFL ACTION WITH TWO TEXAS TEAMS THAT DESPISE EACH OTHER???? PASS THE QUESO
06:37 UTC
CMV: DALLAS DOESN'T DESERVE HEB!!!!YEAH TEXAS !!!!
I AM SHOCKED BY THE LEVEL OF SKEPTICISM AND LACK OF ENTHUSIASM FOR THE PROSPECT OF FINALLY HAVING ACCESS TO TEXAS SHAPED CHIPS, TEXAS SHAPED NUGGETS, TEXAS CITY THEMED NUTS AND COFFEE, AND 100% LISTERIA FREE ICE CREAM. CMV DOES DALLAS HAVE THE FERVENT DEVOTION TO THE ONLY TEXAS GROCER? I THINK NOT!!!! YEAH TEXAS!!!!
04:24 UTC
GERMAN HERITAGE IN CENTRAL TEXAS, TEXAS ANNEXATION OF WESTERN GERMANY!!!!!
23:57 UTC
FACT: EVERYTHING'S BIGGER INCLUDING THE SKID MARKS!!! YEAH!!! TEXAS!!!
16:45 UTC
FACT!!! YOU MAY NOT SAY YOU'VE BEEN TO TEXAS BUT THERE WILL BE SIGNS!!!!YEAH TEXAS!!!!
03:13 UTC
CONTENT WARNING: NSFL DISGUSTING SICKENING BEYOND BELIEF. OHIOAN SPITS ON TEXAS AND TEXAS CULTURE WITH TACO MADE WITH KETCHUP, MUSTARD, PICKLES AND PLAIN HAMBURGER.
04:57 UTC
BAD IF TRUE: REPORTS THAT A FLORIDA BUC-EE'S STOCKS NO DR PEPPER OF ANY KIND. TREASON!!! YEAH TEXAS!!!
05:13 UTC
THESE ARE THE FOREFATHERS OF TEXAS!
IF YOU DISAGREE YOU ARE A COMMIE LIBERAL WHO SHOULD MOVE TO COMMIE-FORNIA!
19:22 UTC
LONESTAR: READ THE RULES, READ THE ROOM, READ THE POSTS AND DO LIKEWISE. OVER-THE-TOP TEXAS PRIDE IS ALWAYS THE DISH OF THE DAY. [REDDIT REGULATIONS APPLY.] NO WARNING SHOTS!!! ALL CAPS IS ENTHUSIASTIC NOT YELLING!!! "F THEM EVEN IF THEY CAN TAKE A JOKE"!!!!! YEAH TEXAS!!!
No Commiefornians
No big brother
TEXAS
Any problem can be solved by 12 gauge and/or duct tape.Due to the increase in ammo prices there will be no warning shot.No cheating soonersStraya: I'm not your mate, partner.REMEMBER THE ALAMO, but, if you forget, write it down.No squirrels. Armadillos are the true rodent.No fancy tea drinkin', book readin', fancy shoe wearing, euro wuerosWho the fuck wants Alaskan, Florida, or New York, shaped corn chips? Nobody! PROOFALL HAIL [/r/whataburger](reddit.com/r/whataburger). The most holy sub on reddit and annual winner of /r/lonestar's "best sub" award.Any man from florida can go back to florida.Always use /r/weekendgunnit to learn about firearm safetyEVERYTHING IS BIGGER IN TEXAS. EVEN OUR RULESHEB IS THE OFFICIAL STORE OF TEXASNo YANKEESGo Cowboys!!NUMBER 1 IN EBOLA OR GTFOIF YOU'RE IN OKLAHOMA, GTFO!!! (OF BOTH OUR SUB AND OKLAHOMA)AS LONG AS JERRY "CALIFORNIAN" JONES IS THE OWNER, THE COWBOYS ARE NOT A LEGITIMATE NFL TEAM.ANY USER POSTING A PICTURE OF AN UPROOTED BLUEBONNET WILL BE BANNED AND LEGALLY KILLED. NO EXCEPTIONS, SECOND TRIES, OR TAKE BACKS.CALIFORNIA=FLORIDAWHAT ABOUT THE TEXANS?The official school of Texas is: The University of Texas (/r/UTAustin/)SHINER IS THE OFFICIAL BEER OF TEXAS! LONESTAR BEER IS OWNED BY PABST WHICH IS NOT A TEXAS COMPANY!!!ALL RULE BREAKERS WILL REPORT TO CHUCK NORRIS- TEXAS RANGER FOR A FLOGGING AND A ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE MOUTH.WE LIVE AND DIE BY OUR BARBECUEUNSPOKEN RULE: IN N OUT IS A COMMIE RESTAURANTGRILLED MEAT IS NOT BARBEQUED MEAT! THE ONLY BARBEQUED MEAT IS BEEF BRISKET!BARBECUE OR BARBEQUE IS EQUALLY CORRECT. ANYTHING OUTSIDE TEXAS IS NEITHER.POP QUIZ: Do we really consider Kansas City to be BBQ capital of the world? (Turn monitor upside down to see the answer): ˙Qqq ┴ON SI 'S∀SN∀ʞ WOɹℲ פNIH┴⅄N∀ '┴I ƎS∩∀ƆƎq 'ON
.
22:06 UTC
FACTS: 1) UT JOINS SEC. 2)AGGIES LEAD SEC FOR THE FIRST TIME. COINCIDENCE OR RESTORATION OF ORDER IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE AGGIES AND LONGHORNS ARE IN SAME CONFERENCE, AS GOD INTENDED????!!!!! YEAH TEXAS!!!!
12:07 UTC
DON'T FORGET!!!!! THIS IS NOT THE OLD OR NEW /R/TEXAS. IT IS THE 'MURICA OF TEXAS WITH MORE BARBECUE SAUCE, MORE TACOS, MORE EXCLAMATION POINTS AND ALL CAPS!!!!! YEAH TEXAS!!
MAKING FUN OF THE LARGEST STATE IN THE UNION (ALASKA DOESN'T COUNT) IS ON THE AGENDA. OVER THE TOP UNSUPORTED STATEMENTS OF STATE PRIDE AND SPINNING ANY STATISTIC TO FAVOR OUR STATE AND OF COURSE ALWAYS IN ALL CAPS IS THE WAY OF /R/LONESTAR. ALSO EVERY POST AND COMMENT SHOULD END WITH YEAH! TEXAS!!!!!! THE WAY GOD AND BABY JESUS INTENDED THEM TO BE.
01:52 UTC
FACT: THE MOST RESPECTFUL AND PATRIOTIC TEXANS SCRUB THEMSELVES WITH THE TEXAS LOOFA
19:00 UTC
ARE YOU LONELY TONIGHT? SPEND THE NIGHT WITH THE AGGIE CORPS FREE! HAZING EXTRA!! YEAH TEXAS!!!
18:12 UTC
FACT! TO BE READY FOR A HURRICANE WE ALL NEED BRISKET!! HEB MAKES SURE THERE IS ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE! YEAH TEXAS!!!
21:35 UTC
EVERYTHING IS BIGGER IN TEXAS!! ALL CAPS, EXCESSIVE EXCLAMATION POINTS AND YAY TEXAS!!! OR CLOSE TO IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN ENCOURAGED OR REQUIRED ON LONESTAR. YAY TEXAS!!!
15:29 UTC
DISCUSSION: IS LUBY'S RIGHT? WHAT ELSE TASTES LIKE TEXAS AND FEELS LIKE HOME? YAY TEXAS!!!
13:22 UTC
SHE'S NEITHER ANN RICHARDS NOR BARBARA BUSH AND SHE'S SORRY!!! YAY TEXAS!!!
12:19 UTC
SUCK IT ALASKA: RESTORE "TEXAS OUR TEXAS!" WE ARE STILL LARGEST AND GRANDEST ESPECIALLY THESE DAYS!!! LARGEST AND GRANDEST BUCCEES, WHATABURGERS, RIGHT WING NUT JOB BILLIONAIRES AND HEBS!!!!!! YAY TEXAS!!!!
15:00 UTC
FACT! TEXAS IS THE LONGEST STATE IN THE USA AND THIS VIDEO PROVES IT BECAUSE ALASKA, HAWAII AND COMMIEFORNIA WERE ELIMINATED FOR NOT BEING TEXAS!!! YAY TEXAS!!!
01:26 UTC
GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, FUCK YEAH TEXAS!!!
00:42 UTC