/r/LONESTAR
A SATIRICAL (EXCEPT WHEN IT AIN'T) SUBREDDIT TO CELEBRATE THE EXTRA FREEDOM AND PATRIOTISM WE ENJOY AS TEXANS. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT GIT BACK TO CALIFORNIA!!!!
A satirical (except when it ain't) subreddit to celebrate the extra freedom and patriotism we enjoy as Texans. If you don't like it git back to California.
Rules:
No big brother
TEXAS
Any problem can be solved by 12 gauge and/or duct tape.
Due to the increase in ammo prices there will be no warning shot.
No cheating sooners
Straya: I'm not your mate, partner.
REMEMBER THE ALAMO, but, if you forget, write it down.
No squirrels. Armadillos are the true rodent.
No fancy tea drinkin', book readin', fancy shoe wearing, euro wueros
Who the fuck wants Alaskan, Florida, or New York, shaped corn chips? Nobody! PROOF
ALL HAIL [/r/whataburger](reddit.com/r/whataburger). The most holy sub on reddit and annual winner of /r/lonestar's "best sub" award.
Any man from florida can go back to florida.
Always use /r/weekendgunnit to learn about firearm safety
EVERYTHING IS BIGGER IN TEXAS. EVEN OUR RULES
HEB IS THE OFFICIAL STORE OF TEXAS
No YANKEES
Go Cowboys!!
NUMBER 1 IN EBOLA OR GTFO
IF YOU'RE IN OKLAHOMA, GTFO!!! (OF BOTH OUR SUB AND OKLAHOMA)
AS LONG AS JERRY "CALIFORNIAN" JONES IS THE OWNER, THE COWBOYS ARE NOT A LEGITIMATE NFL TEAM.
ANY USER POSTING A PICTURE OF AN UPROOTED BLUEBONNET WILL BE BANNED AND LEGALLY KILLED. NO EXCEPTIONS, SECOND TRIES, OR TAKE BACKS.
CALIFORNIA=FLORIDA
WHAT ABOUT THE TEXANS?
The official school of Texas is: The University of Texas (/r/UTAustin/)
SHINER IS THE OFFICIAL BEER OF TEXAS! LONESTAR BEER IS OWNED BY PABST WHICH IS NOT A TEXAS COMPANY!!!
ALL RULE BREAKERS WILL REPORT TO CHUCK NORRIS- TEXAS RANGER FOR A FLOGGING AND A ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE MOUTH.
WE LIVE AND DIE BY OUR BARBECUE
UNSPOKEN RULE: IN N OUT IS A COMMIE RESTAURANT
GRILLED MEAT IS NOT BARBEQUED MEAT! THE ONLY BARBEQUED MEAT IS BEEF BRISKET!
BARBECUE OR BARBEQUE IS EQUALLY CORRECT. ANYTHING OUTSIDE TEXAS IS NEITHER.
POP QUIZ: Do we really consider Kansas City to be BBQ capital of the world? (Turn monitor upside down to see the answer): ˙Qqq ┴ON SI 'S∀SN∀ʞ WOɹℲ פNIH┴⅄N∀ '┴I ƎS∩∀ƆƎq 'ON
/r/Murica: fuck yeah
/r/WesternWear: Yee haww!
/r/AustinGuns: Keep patriotism weird
/r/TEXASENTS: HB2165! HB2165?? HB2165!!!! HB2165... HB2165!?!?! HB2165!!
/r/TXoutdoors FOR ALL YER OUTDOOR NEEDS
https://discord.gg/YbZDuJB: Looking for a Discord server? THIS IS THE ONE FOR YOU!!!
How to make
Explosions
Use 3 hashtags for small explosion "###Explosions"
Use 5 hashtags for megabomb "#####AAAAH!!"
You can sticky your own posts by adding the word "sticky" anywhere in your title.
/r/LONESTAR
9,263 Subscribers
ARE YOU LONELY TONIGHT? SPEND THE NIGHT WITH THE AGGIE CORPS FREE! HAZING EXTRA!! YEAH TEXAS!!!
18:12 UTC
FACT! TO BE READY FOR A HURRICANE WE ALL NEED BRISKET!! HEB MAKES SURE THERE IS ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE! YEAH TEXAS!!!
21:35 UTC
EVERYTHING IS BIGGER IN TEXAS!! ALL CAPS, EXCESSIVE EXCLAMATION POINTS AND YAY TEXAS!!! OR CLOSE TO IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN ENCOURAGED OR REQUIRED ON LONESTAR. YAY TEXAS!!!
15:29 UTC
DISCUSSION: IS LUBY'S RIGHT? WHAT ELSE TASTES LIKE TEXAS AND FEELS LIKE HOME? YAY TEXAS!!!
13:22 UTC
SHE'S NEITHER ANN RICHARDS NOR BARBARA BUSH AND SHE'S SORRY!!! YAY TEXAS!!!
12:19 UTC
SUCK IT ALASKA: RESTORE "TEXAS OUR TEXAS!" WE ARE STILL LARGEST AND GRANDEST ESPECIALLY THESE DAYS!!! LARGEST AND GRANDEST BUCCEES, WHATABURGERS, RIGHT WING NUT JOB BILLIONAIRES AND HEBS!!!!!! YAY TEXAS!!!!
15:00 UTC
FACT! TEXAS IS THE LONGEST STATE IN THE USA AND THIS VIDEO PROVES IT BECAUSE ALASKA, HAWAII AND COMMIEFORNIA WERE ELIMINATED FOR NOT BEING TEXAS!!! YAY TEXAS!!!
01:26 UTC
GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, FUCK YEAH TEXAS!!!
00:42 UTC
[SCIENCE FACT] TEXAS IS DRUMK AS FUCK
20:05 UTC
Science Fact: the name Oklahoma is stupid (Source: robwords)
16:24 UTC
*Santa Anna's face when a bunch of illegals refuse to return the cannon he graciously loaned them and take over part of his country.*
21:40 UTC
ALL Y’ALL GET IN HERE!!! IT’S TEXAS INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!
12:54 UTC
FACT: JAMES AVERY BLUE BELL IS THE ONLY BLUE BELL THAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN LISTERIA FREE!!!!!! Yay TEXAS!!!!
04:09 UTC
If HEB sells it, it must exist. Checkmate bean haters.
21:52 UTC
FACT: TEXAS TEMPERATURES REQUIRE TEXAS SHAPED THERMOMETERS!!!!! YEAH TEXAS!!!!!
05:33 UTC
JUST SAYING, THAT PICTURE OF TRAVIS IN THE OLD REDDIT HEADER ALWAYS REMINDS ME OF MICHAEL NESMITH !!!!
NESMITH WAS A SAN ANTONIAN AND A TEXAN FOR AWHILE!!!!
04:32 UTC
WANT A LITTLE SEXY TIME? FACT! ALL TEXANS AND EVERYONE WHO WISHES THEY WERE ARE TURNED ON BY FANTASIZING BEING A SHOPPER AT HEB AND THESE "TOYS" MAKE IT POSSIBLE!!!!!!! YEAH TEXAS!!!!
04:28 UTC
LIKE IT OR NOT THESE ARE ICONIC IMAGES OF TEXAS!!!!!!!!!!!! ICONIC!!!!!!
16:00 UTC
STRING 'EM UP! THIEVES CAUSE COSTLY DAMAGE TO A SMALL TOWN H*E*B AND MAKE OFF WITH LITTLE OF VALUE!!!!! YEAH TEXAS!!!!!
https://www.mysanantonio.com/news/local/article/texas-heb-copper-theft-18540001.php
In an effort to make a quick buck, and not much more than that according to a local police chief, thieves made off with 30 feet of copper from a portable refrigerator at an H-E-B Plus in Lytle.
YEAH! TEXAS!!!!!!!!!
03:03 UTC
FACT: TEXAS IS THE LAND OF SKY HIGH WAGES. EVEN A CRAPPY SECOND RATE FOOTBALL COACH CAN EARN 75 MILLION DOLLARS JUST FOR NOT TO SHOWING UP TO WORK NO MORE!!!!! YEAH TEXAS!!!!
TEXAS A&M TO SPEND MORE THAN $75 MILLION TO FIRE COACH JIMBO FISHER. THE BUYOUT AMOUNT IS THE LARGEST IN COLLEGE SPORTS HISTORY!!!!!!!YEAH! TEXAS!!!!!
16:43 UTC
FACT! EVEN FAMILY MEMBERS OF BUCCEE OWNERS ARE COMMITTED TO KEEPING AN EYE ON THEIR BATHROOMS
CAMERAS, WHATEVER IT TAKES THEY WILL DO IT!
01:23 UTC
Kerrville, Texas
19:23 UTC
ALL POSTS AND COMMENTS MUST NOW BE IN ALL CAPS AND INCLUDE ONE EXPLANATION MARK OR IT WILL BE REMOVED BY THE AUTOMOD! TRY IT OUT!
20:36 UTC
Wtf is a kilometer?
11:28 UTC
Reddit voting algorithm has changed! RAISE THE FLAG!
09:43 UTC