/r/LONESTAR
A SATIRICAL (EXCEPT WHEN IT AIN'T) SUBREDDIT TO CELEBRATE THE EXTRA FREEDOM AND PATRIOTISM WE ENJOY AS TEXANS. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT GIT BACK TO CALIFORNIA!!!!
A satirical (except when it ain't) subreddit to celebrate the extra freedom and patriotism we enjoy as Texans. If you don't like it git back to California.
Rules:
No big brother
TEXAS
Any problem can be solved by 12 gauge and/or duct tape.
Due to the increase in ammo prices there will be no warning shot.
No cheating sooners
Straya: I'm not your mate, partner.
REMEMBER THE ALAMO, but, if you forget, write it down.
No squirrels. Armadillos are the true rodent.
No fancy tea drinkin', book readin', fancy shoe wearing, euro wueros
Who the fuck wants Alaskan, Florida, or New York, shaped corn chips? Nobody! PROOF
ALL HAIL [/r/whataburger](reddit.com/r/whataburger). The most holy sub on reddit and annual winner of /r/lonestar's "best sub" award.
Any man from florida can go back to florida.
Always use /r/weekendgunnit to learn about firearm safety
EVERYTHING IS BIGGER IN TEXAS. EVEN OUR RULES
HEB IS THE OFFICIAL STORE OF TEXAS
No YANKEES
Go Cowboys!!
NUMBER 1 IN EBOLA OR GTFO
IF YOU'RE IN OKLAHOMA, GTFO!!! (OF BOTH OUR SUB AND OKLAHOMA)
AS LONG AS JERRY "CALIFORNIAN" JONES IS THE OWNER, THE COWBOYS ARE NOT A LEGITIMATE NFL TEAM.
ANY USER POSTING A PICTURE OF AN UPROOTED BLUEBONNET WILL BE BANNED AND LEGALLY KILLED. NO EXCEPTIONS, SECOND TRIES, OR TAKE BACKS.
CALIFORNIA=FLORIDA
WHAT ABOUT THE TEXANS?
The official school of Texas is: The University of Texas (/r/UTAustin/)
SHINER IS THE OFFICIAL BEER OF TEXAS! LONESTAR BEER IS OWNED BY PABST WHICH IS NOT A TEXAS COMPANY!!!
ALL RULE BREAKERS WILL REPORT TO CHUCK NORRIS- TEXAS RANGER FOR A FLOGGING AND A ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE MOUTH.
WE LIVE AND DIE BY OUR BARBECUE
UNSPOKEN RULE: IN N OUT IS A COMMIE RESTAURANT
GRILLED MEAT IS NOT BARBEQUED MEAT! THE ONLY BARBEQUED MEAT IS BEEF BRISKET!
BARBECUE OR BARBEQUE IS EQUALLY CORRECT. ANYTHING OUTSIDE TEXAS IS NEITHER.
POP QUIZ: Do we really consider Kansas City to be BBQ capital of the world? (Turn monitor upside down to see the answer): ˙Qqq ┴ON SI 'S∀SN∀ʞ WOɹℲ פNIH┴⅄N∀ '┴I ƎS∩∀ƆƎq 'ON
/r/Murica: fuck yeah
/r/WesternWear: Yee haww!
/r/AustinGuns: Keep patriotism weird
/r/TEXASENTS: HB2165! HB2165?? HB2165!!!! HB2165... HB2165!?!?! HB2165!!
/r/TXoutdoors FOR ALL YER OUTDOOR NEEDS
https://discord.gg/YbZDuJB: Looking for a Discord server? THIS IS THE ONE FOR YOU!!!
How to make
Explosions
Use 3 hashtags for small explosion "###Explosions"
Use 5 hashtags for megabomb "#####AAAAH!!"
You can sticky your own posts by adding the word "sticky" anywhere in your title.
/r/LONESTAR
9,246 Subscribers
THESE ARE THE FOREFATHERS OF TEXAS!
IF YOU DISAGREE YOU ARE A COMMIE LIBERAL WHO SHOULD MOVE TO COMMIE-FORNIA!
19:22 UTC
LONESTAR: READ THE RULES, READ THE ROOM, READ THE POSTS AND DO LIKEWISE. OVER-THE-TOP TEXAS PRIDE IS ALWAYS THE DISH OF THE DAY. [REDDIT REGULATIONS APPLY.] NO WARNING SHOTS!!! ALL CAPS IS ENTHUSIASTIC NOT YELLING!!! "F THEM EVEN IF THEY CAN TAKE A JOKE"!!!!! YEAH TEXAS!!!
No Commiefornians
No big brother
TEXAS
Any problem can be solved by 12 gauge and/or duct tape.Due to the increase in ammo prices there will be no warning shot.No cheating soonersStraya: I'm not your mate, partner.REMEMBER THE ALAMO, but, if you forget, write it down.No squirrels. Armadillos are the true rodent.No fancy tea drinkin', book readin', fancy shoe wearing, euro wuerosWho the fuck wants Alaskan, Florida, or New York, shaped corn chips? Nobody! PROOFALL HAIL [/r/whataburger](reddit.com/r/whataburger). The most holy sub on reddit and annual winner of /r/lonestar's "best sub" award.Any man from florida can go back to florida.Always use /r/weekendgunnit to learn about firearm safetyEVERYTHING IS BIGGER IN TEXAS. EVEN OUR RULESHEB IS THE OFFICIAL STORE OF TEXASNo YANKEESGo Cowboys!!NUMBER 1 IN EBOLA OR GTFOIF YOU'RE IN OKLAHOMA, GTFO!!! (OF BOTH OUR SUB AND OKLAHOMA)AS LONG AS JERRY "CALIFORNIAN" JONES IS THE OWNER, THE COWBOYS ARE NOT A LEGITIMATE NFL TEAM.ANY USER POSTING A PICTURE OF AN UPROOTED BLUEBONNET WILL BE BANNED AND LEGALLY KILLED. NO EXCEPTIONS, SECOND TRIES, OR TAKE BACKS.CALIFORNIA=FLORIDAWHAT ABOUT THE TEXANS?The official school of Texas is: The University of Texas (/r/UTAustin/)SHINER IS THE OFFICIAL BEER OF TEXAS! LONESTAR BEER IS OWNED BY PABST WHICH IS NOT A TEXAS COMPANY!!!ALL RULE BREAKERS WILL REPORT TO CHUCK NORRIS- TEXAS RANGER FOR A FLOGGING AND A ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE MOUTH.WE LIVE AND DIE BY OUR BARBECUEUNSPOKEN RULE: IN N OUT IS A COMMIE RESTAURANTGRILLED MEAT IS NOT BARBEQUED MEAT! THE ONLY BARBEQUED MEAT IS BEEF BRISKET!BARBECUE OR BARBEQUE IS EQUALLY CORRECT. ANYTHING OUTSIDE TEXAS IS NEITHER.POP QUIZ: Do we really consider Kansas City to be BBQ capital of the world? (Turn monitor upside down to see the answer): ˙Qqq ┴ON SI 'S∀SN∀ʞ WOɹℲ פNIH┴⅄N∀ '┴I ƎS∩∀ƆƎq 'ON
.
22:06 UTC
FACTS: 1) UT JOINS SEC. 2)AGGIES LEAD SEC FOR THE FIRST TIME. COINCIDENCE OR RESTORATION OF ORDER IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE AGGIES AND LONGHORNS ARE IN SAME CONFERENCE, AS GOD INTENDED????!!!!! YEAH TEXAS!!!!
12:07 UTC
DON'T FORGET!!!!! THIS IS NOT THE OLD OR NEW /R/TEXAS. IT IS THE 'MURICA OF TEXAS WITH MORE BARBECUE SAUCE, MORE TACOS, MORE EXCLAMATION POINTS AND ALL CAPS!!!!! YEAH TEXAS!!
MAKING FUN OF THE LARGEST STATE IN THE UNION (ALASKA DOESN'T COUNT) IS ON THE AGENDA. OVER THE TOP UNSUPORTED STATEMENTS OF STATE PRIDE AND SPINNING ANY STATISTIC TO FAVOR OUR STATE AND OF COURSE ALWAYS IN ALL CAPS IS THE WAY OF /R/LONESTAR. ALSO EVERY POST AND COMMENT SHOULD END WITH YEAH! TEXAS!!!!!! THE WAY GOD AND BABY JESUS INTENDED THEM TO BE.
01:52 UTC
FACT: THE MOST RESPECTFUL AND PATRIOTIC TEXANS SCRUB THEMSELVES WITH THE TEXAS LOOFA
19:00 UTC
ARE YOU LONELY TONIGHT? SPEND THE NIGHT WITH THE AGGIE CORPS FREE! HAZING EXTRA!! YEAH TEXAS!!!
18:12 UTC
FACT! TO BE READY FOR A HURRICANE WE ALL NEED BRISKET!! HEB MAKES SURE THERE IS ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE! YEAH TEXAS!!!
21:35 UTC
EVERYTHING IS BIGGER IN TEXAS!! ALL CAPS, EXCESSIVE EXCLAMATION POINTS AND YAY TEXAS!!! OR CLOSE TO IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN ENCOURAGED OR REQUIRED ON LONESTAR. YAY TEXAS!!!
15:29 UTC
DISCUSSION: IS LUBY'S RIGHT? WHAT ELSE TASTES LIKE TEXAS AND FEELS LIKE HOME? YAY TEXAS!!!
13:22 UTC
SHE'S NEITHER ANN RICHARDS NOR BARBARA BUSH AND SHE'S SORRY!!! YAY TEXAS!!!
12:19 UTC
SUCK IT ALASKA: RESTORE "TEXAS OUR TEXAS!" WE ARE STILL LARGEST AND GRANDEST ESPECIALLY THESE DAYS!!! LARGEST AND GRANDEST BUCCEES, WHATABURGERS, RIGHT WING NUT JOB BILLIONAIRES AND HEBS!!!!!! YAY TEXAS!!!!
15:00 UTC
FACT! TEXAS IS THE LONGEST STATE IN THE USA AND THIS VIDEO PROVES IT BECAUSE ALASKA, HAWAII AND COMMIEFORNIA WERE ELIMINATED FOR NOT BEING TEXAS!!! YAY TEXAS!!!
01:26 UTC
GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, FUCK YEAH TEXAS!!!
00:42 UTC
[SCIENCE FACT] TEXAS IS DRUMK AS FUCK
20:05 UTC
Science Fact: the name Oklahoma is stupid (Source: robwords)
16:24 UTC
*Santa Anna's face when a bunch of illegals refuse to return the cannon he graciously loaned them and take over part of his country.*
21:40 UTC
ALL Y’ALL GET IN HERE!!! IT’S TEXAS INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!
12:54 UTC
FACT: JAMES AVERY BLUE BELL IS THE ONLY BLUE BELL THAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN LISTERIA FREE!!!!!! Yay TEXAS!!!!
04:09 UTC
If HEB sells it, it must exist. Checkmate bean haters.
21:52 UTC
FACT: TEXAS TEMPERATURES REQUIRE TEXAS SHAPED THERMOMETERS!!!!! YEAH TEXAS!!!!!
05:33 UTC
JUST SAYING, THAT PICTURE OF TRAVIS IN THE OLD REDDIT HEADER ALWAYS REMINDS ME OF MICHAEL NESMITH !!!!
NESMITH WAS A SAN ANTONIAN AND A TEXAN FOR AWHILE!!!!
04:32 UTC
WANT A LITTLE SEXY TIME? FACT! ALL TEXANS AND EVERYONE WHO WISHES THEY WERE ARE TURNED ON BY FANTASIZING BEING A SHOPPER AT HEB AND THESE "TOYS" MAKE IT POSSIBLE!!!!!!! YEAH TEXAS!!!!
04:28 UTC
LIKE IT OR NOT THESE ARE ICONIC IMAGES OF TEXAS!!!!!!!!!!!! ICONIC!!!!!!
16:00 UTC
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