/r/linguisticshumor

Photograph via snooOG

Linguistics Humor: a sub for humor relating to linguistics


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Welcome to /r/linguisticshumor! This is the home for jokes about linguistics, i.e., the study of human language.

Linguistics memes, funny textbook illustrations, crackpot theories, rude drawings made up of IPA symbols, and other linguological ludicrousness goes here. If you've got something that you'd like to share with the class that isn't scientifically rigorous enough for /r/linguistics, post it in this sub.

For more serious linguistics, check out /r/linguistics and /r/asklinguistics.

For humor and discussion about modern foreign languages, check out /r/languagelearning.

For examples of bad linguistics, check out /r/badlinguistics.

For linguistics shit-posting, check out /r/shittylinguistics.

For goofy linguistics thoughts, check out /r/showerlinguistics.

/r/linguisticshumor

98,316 Subscribers

41

English needs the Albanian ë

All humën beings are born free and equël in dignity and rights. They are ëndowed with reasën and consciënce and should act towards one ënother in ë spirit ëf brothërhood.

28 Comments
2024/04/01
04:20 UTC

101

The thanksgiving countries

6 Comments
2024/04/01
04:18 UTC

109

Reddit pseudolinguistics

32 Comments
2024/04/01
01:31 UTC

49

Dutch CANNOT be a real language 😭

3 Comments
2024/03/31
23:20 UTC

65

avatar: the last airstream-bender

clicks. ejectives. pulmonics. implosives. long ago, the four consonants lived together in harmony. but everything changed when the Pulmonic Consonants attacked. only the Dahalo, master of all four airstream mechanisms, could stop them, but when the world needed them most, they vanished.

1 Comment
2024/03/31
22:51 UTC

314

English is NOT a real language bro what is this

20 Comments
2024/03/31
21:35 UTC

44

The existence of the East and Easter implies the existence of an Eastest.

Any ideas what an Eastest might be?

10 Comments
2024/03/31
21:25 UTC

10

I have found a way to spelling-reform English that combines all approaches

  1. new alphabet (brand new a priori glyphs) in a bunch of different fonts
  2. one character per phone (based on individual speaker)
  3. one color per phoneme (based on individual speaker)
  4. split each character in horizontal stripes, each representing a past era
  5. one font per ancestor phoneme, applied separately to the different stripes (based on localised reconstructions)
  6. (after all this) replace spoken english with protogermanic (with loanwords from english adapted to protogermanic phonology based on their pronunciation in the specific speaker's previous modern english dialect)
0 Comments
2024/03/31
20:57 UTC

147

Guys what sound does it produce

54 Comments
2024/03/31
20:46 UTC

11

Multidimensional Kiki-Bouba Spectrum

I’m not a linguist and I’m dumb as nails but I have a model in my head that makes a lot of sense to me and I want to know if other people see it too. I put it together with a friend while eating ramen.

You’re probably familiar with the experiment where across most languages, when told to label two shapes as either ‘kiki’ or ‘bouba’, most will label the rounded curvy one as bouba and the sharp pointy one as kiki.

But since I was a kid, I had a concept in my head of (high pitched sound/sharp feeling or sharp pain/vinegar, tangy or acidic taste/bright white light) vs (low pitched sound/dull blunt feeling or dull pain/umami savoury flavours/dim warm lighting/). And that night over ramen, I realized that in my mind, this whole thing basically aligned as an expanded form of the kiki-bouba concept. I didn’t always have words to describe it, but I had basically always thought of all kinds of sensory experiences along these parallel alignments.

Like if I was going to go get bubble tea. Some days, I might be in the mood for a really kiki flavour, like pineapple or tropical fruit. Other days I might want a very bouba drink flavour like brown sugar milk tea, taro, or a caramel macchiato coffee. Things like honeydew melon or apple cinnamon flavour would fall somewhere closer to the middle of the spectrum.

The most kiki sound would be, like, a spirited melody on piccolo or tin whistle. The most bouba would be basically brown noise or that low pitched slow sleep music stuff. Getting poked with a pin is kiki, getting punched is bouba.

Even random items my friend and I were able to classify. Like, for trees, trembling aspens were more kiki and old oaks were more bouba. A delicate metal spoon was more kiki, a wooden soup spoon was more bouba.

Please tell me when and where I should submit my PhD thesis on the kiki-bouba model of human sensory experience. Thank you for your time.

3 Comments
2024/03/31
18:34 UTC

395

Dutch is not a real language I swear 😭

62 Comments
2024/03/31
16:32 UTC

141

non est diffikile, cens

18 Comments
2024/03/31
14:20 UTC

285

I feel like Anglophones are gaslighting me with these ones

95 Comments
2024/03/31
13:32 UTC

368

icelandic vocative moment

23 Comments
2024/03/31
10:33 UTC

192

truly a Dutch language moment

10 Comments
2024/03/31
07:44 UTC

131

My hatred of phonologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason it would be very easy.

Guys do you know a new native Brazilian language has been discovered to have the longest geminate ever found in human language. Here's one of the words if any of you want to try pronouncing it: 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ːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːːː/

26 Comments
2024/03/31
02:45 UTC

41

Now if only we could figure out why the Iroquoian languages lack any labial sounds outside of /w/

From my understanding what happened was Proto Iroquoian had a 5 vowel system with *e and *o only have nasal equivalents, which is maybe bit odd but not that odd, (I'm pretty sure Proto Slavic was the same) and all vowels could be short or long. Proto North Iroquoian, which is pretty much all of them except Cherokee then merged oral *o(ː) and *a(ː) as *a(ː), then *u(ː) lowers to *o(ː) to fill the gap, still pretty normal.

Then in Mohawk just nasal *õ (length distinction is gone, kinda) raises to /ũ/ which then drags *ẽ to /ʌ̃/, resulting in this very unique vowel system.

0 Comments
2024/03/30
20:14 UTC

158

Hdi grammar

11 Comments
2024/03/30
20:05 UTC

15

Pseudographemics

I don’t get r/alphanumerics and their misconceptions of the origins of the Phoenician clade’s letters

For one, the letter Aleph cleary derives from an ox head, not a plough

Also from the top of my head there’s the “Pictographic Hebrew” and Lashawan Quadash types, who both have misconceptions of how Hebrew orthography works

6 Comments
2024/03/30
19:59 UTC

73

That Proto-Germanic vs. English semantics meme was missing these descendants :)

1 Comment
2024/03/30
19:52 UTC

7

Not quite "humour" as much as I need help in a way that's mildly amusing to me

So, this band sings in Mongolian (and, as far as I know, they're all from "inner Mongolia", so in politically Chinese territory). They've got 2 singers (well, 3 but the third only does throat singing, good luck parsing his phonology).

In the studio version (and some live versions) of the following song, guy A does verse 1 and guy B does verse 2. In other live versions, it's switched.

Here's the problem: I feel like their pronunciations are WORLDS apart. Like, full on multiple metatheses per word different.

Here's the studio version. As you can hear, the original title, Altan Namar, inflected in the sentence " Altan namrïn šim yumaa" at the end of verse 2, is pronounced [aɬ.tə.nə.na.mri.mɪnᵊ.ɕi.mə.ju.maː].

Here's a switched live version. That same section, this time, is pronounced [aɫ.tanᵊ.na.mrin.ɕɨm.mi.u̞.ma]. Note, among other things, that while in the other version the "al-" at the start has a voiceless lateral alveolar fricative, this one has a voiced, velarised L.

Here is the lyrics, in cyrillic and with romanisation.

Does anyone know anything about Mongolian?

12 Comments
2024/03/30
19:21 UTC

60

e moment (in some Austronesian languages)

4 Comments
2024/03/30
18:05 UTC

19

Chat is this real, these feels like a great understatement but I don't speak French so I wouldn't know

9 Comments
2024/03/30
16:28 UTC

5

Attention all linguists! Does anyone know what it is supposed to mean?

0 Comments
2024/03/30
16:17 UTC

35

My (Dutch) friend (Dutch) wrote this love letter to the English language. Thoughts?

16 Comments
2024/03/30
16:05 UTC

190

Why does it always have to be more complicated than expected?

19 Comments
2024/03/30
15:22 UTC

26

Da, R He roBopnt ryccknñ

How can I began understanding russian palatalization?

11 Comments
2024/03/30
15:14 UTC

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