Just looking for a less satire-based subreddit but still similar to this one?

Thanks, Oatmeal

On the 14th of April, Plaintiff received a messaged informing that he had been permanently banned from the subreddit known as r/rant. While the ban included a hyperlink to the comment posted by the plaintiff, it did not explain how it went against community rules. The plaintiff messaged the mod team asking for an explanation of the ban and was met with hostility as they threatened to report him for harassment and muted him before he could make any further replies.

[CHARGES]:

CHARGE: Unwarranted Ban in the Second Degree

CHARGE: Failure to Explain Ban in the First Degree

CHARGE: Threat of Retaliation in the First Degree

[EVIDENCE]:

[EXHIBIT A]"https://imgur.com/a/xhj7mG5"

JUDGE- The honorable u/themanfromoctober

DEFENCE- Pending

PROSECUTOR- Pending

Other-

So what happened?

I posted this picture to the subreddit /r/apexlegends. Just to be clear, it's my apex wraith banner, it has almost 7mil damage in game (took me 5 years to do).

1. Post got removed, and I was banned for 2 days (arbitrary rule incitement)

2. So I ask if it was necessary to ban and remove. So they banned me again (abuse of power).

3. Then I told them what I thought of the situation and said I was done talking, so they hit me with this super nice message making sure i was literate (being mean)

[CHARGES]: 1st degree arbitrary rule incitement, 1st degree abuse of power, 1st degree being mean, 1st degree taking their job way too seriously

[EVIDENCE]:

1 (arbitrary rule incitement)

2 (abuse of power)

3 (being mean)

Finally, list the case members as they get added.

JUDGE- /u/themanfromoctober

DEFENCE- /u/Bananak47

PROSECUTOR- /u/1SinularFlameEmoji

EDIT: they have now reported me to the admins and gotten me banned from reddit (for 3 days) lmao

Hey there, fellow Redditors! So, picture this: you're in a classic sitcom scenario where your girlfriend seems to have more time for your friend—who happens to be your friend-turned-wife—than for you. Yep, welcome to my life!

It's like trying to schedule a hangout with the Loch Ness Monster—always elusive and mysterious. Here I am, trying to plan a romantic evening or even just a casual catch-up, and I get hit with, "Sorry, babe, busy with [friend's name], you know how it is!"

I mean, sure, I get it, she's married to my buddy, but does that mean I get relegated to the back burner faster than yesterday's leftovers? It's like being in a real-life rom-com, except I'm playing the role of the bumbling sidekick instead of the leading man!

I even tried scheduling time with her like it's a business meeting—complete with color-coded calendars and reminder alarms. But nope, her schedule's already booked solid with "wife duties" and "spouse obligations."

And let's not even get started on the awkwardness when we all hang out together. It's like being the third wheel on a unicycle—totally out of place and wondering why I even bothered showing up.

But hey, in the spirit of keeping things light and hilarious, I've decided to embrace the absurdity of it all. Maybe I'll start a support group for fellow "neglected by my friend's wife" folks. We can meet up for drinks and commiserate about our shared predicament!

In the meantime, I'll just keep sending out those "Wanted: Girlfriend Time" flyers and crossing my fingers for a miracle. Who knows, maybe one day I'll actually manage to snag some quality time with my elusive girlfriend—between her wifely duties, of course!

Until then, wish me luck, fellow Redditors, and if you see my girlfriend out and about, tell her I'm still waiting for that elusive date night!

Cheers to navigating the hilariously awkward world of relationships, where even the most absurd situations can turn into the best stories! 🍻😂

#TRIAL THREAD | VERDICT

People of r/KarmaCourt, I present to you a case no different than others — the guilty act of u/EmpressOfTomorrow0 karmawhoring off a post I already created!

What Happened:

18 days ago, I created a topic that reached such minimal amount of upvotes and two replies: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheWalkingDeadGame/s/8E4Vc8ePJq

8 hours ago, u/EmpressOfTomorrow0 posts the same topic as mine, which then reaches more popularity than my post: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheWalkingDeadGame/s/Z2fZHDUucg

The defendant disguises their repost by making it more clickbaity by attaching images.

[CHARGES]:

• 1st Degree of Karmawhoring
• 1st Degree of Reposting
• 1st Degree of Clickbait
• 1st Degree of a Triangle

What Happened?: You need only look around yourself at the ruin of our once great and popular halls and courts. Hell we even have a discord. This was once not just a place where you could get justice, this was a place meant for frivolity, merrymaking, absurdity, poetry, hiauks*, and every once in a while a place where karmawhores would get their just desserts.

What does all this mean?: I dunno, I guess this is a call for Moderators. But if you fucking spam my god damn in folder with horse shit, i'm just gonna be pissy, so use THIS post to plea your case. Wow us, and by us I mean, Me.

*in November

#####GET IT ON!

I am suing the entirety of Reddit for causing me to waste hundreds of hours of my time. I am requesting reimbursement for damages in the form of access to a Time Machine to get the time I wasted on this site back, along with my permanent banishment from Reddit to prevent any further wasting of time. I trust the honourable r/KarmaCourt to deliver a just verdict.

Text (optional)

Since when? And why?

Sir, Madam, Good people of the Supreme Karma Court of the United Subs of Reddit, Deat Janitor, Dear chicken nuggets vendor,

I feel i have been wronged. I expressed my opinion on a post, and my phrasing led to a misunderstanding and 30 unjustified downvotes. My opinion was agreeing with OP and criticizing the societal conditions and environnement who led OP to this spectacular and sad situation.

People thought i was condemning OP. I was not, ever.

Is my case receivable?

Many thanks.

With the most utterly respectful kind distinguished regards,

Dr snoggleszxsz

NB PLEASE see un-attached screenshotzz

#TRIAL THREAD (prosecution) | (defense)

#VERDICT: GUILTY AS SIN.

On February 26, u/bastethotgirl drunkenly stumbled into Courtroom B shouting something about "GIVE ME UPVOTES ❤️❤️" and spraying a hyperlink to unseemly sites in a most unladylike fashion. The charges against her are as follows:

1. 3 counts of Indecent Exposure by flinging reprehensible hyperlinks around Edit: Charge #1 withdrawn, since the defendant quickly deleted the aforementioned unsavory links after being called out. Charges #2 and #3 still stand.

2. 4 counts of Being a Silly Sod

3. 1 count of Sullying the Good Name of This Esteemed Court by making a traveshamockery of our august proceedings

The prosecution requests that she be punished by carrying a jamming device with her for at least three years that renders her incapable of accessing the Internet and sending or receiving videos and photos, and she should also be fined 5 million schmekels. I await your response, Your Honor.

Judge: u/J_S_M_K

Prosecution: u/Shamrock5

Defense: u/Athuny

Bailiff: u/unknown228822

Guy making car rings: u/MrChosenRoseWolf2002

Distributor of fried chicken: u/KurnolSanders

Elderly, bitter kourt stenographer: u/Bananak47

Eager Janitor: u/Tybaltr53

So what happened?

1. A commentator posited that Hamas is ostensibly in violation of the International Court of Justice (ICJ) mandates by not expeditiously facilitating the release of all hostages, questioning whether the United Nations (UN) would highlight this transgression. (exhibit A)

2. In response, the Plaintiff contended that, given Hamas's status as a non-sovereign entity, it is beyond the jurisdictional purview of the ICJ's orders. Nonetheless, Hamas's actions contravene international law, subject to adjudication under the International Criminal Court (ICC). (exhibit B)

3. The Defendants proceeded to exclude the Plaintiff from the subreddit, alleging that the Plaintiff's comments infringed upon the community's regulations.(exhibit C)

4. The Plaintiff refuted these allegations, arguing that the distinction between the ICC and the ICJ is a matter of public record and does not constitute a breach of any stated forum rules.

5. Attempts by the Plaintiff to engage with the Defendants via moderator communication channels were met with no response. (exhibit C)

6. A post by another subreddit participant (exhibit D), which served as the platform for the contested comment, was subsequently removed under the pretext of violating the [opinion/analysis] rule—a classification disputed by the Plaintiff, noting that reputable sources like The Guardian expressly delineate opinion pieces (exhibits E, F).

The unjustly removed news report was titled: "Israel appears to be in breach of ICJ orders on Gaza, senior UN official says""

7. The Plaintiff, alongside reports from other aggrieved parties (exhibit G), posits that the selective enforcement of forum rules may have been discriminatorily applied against Palestinian perspectives.

8. It is recognized by analogous judicial bodies, including the ICJ, that Palestinians constitute a distinct ethnic group.

9. On these grounds, the Plaintiff alleges that the Defendants' actions amount to an ethnically motivated, unjust exclusion, tantamount to a hate crime.

The Plaintiff seeks redress for these grievances, asserting that the Defendants' conduct represents a deliberate and prejudicial application of subreddit rules, ostensibly violating principles of fairness and equality.

Demand for Relief: The Plaintiff seeks the following relief:

• a. An immediate reversal of the unfair ban imposed on the Plaintiff.

• b. A formal apology from the Defendants for the unjust targeting and the reinstatement of the Plaintiff's rights to participate in r/ worldnews discussions.

• c. A review and revision of moderation practices to ensure fair and unbiased enforcement of community rules.

• d. Any further relief that the court deems just and appropriate.

[CHARGES]:

Unfair Ban: The Plaintiff alleges that the ban imposed by the Defendants was without just cause, lacking a factual basis and violating the principles of fairness and equality inherent to the community guidelines.

Aggravated Targeting of Palestinian Voices: The Plaintiff further alleges that the Defendants' actions constitute an aggravated targeting of Palestinian voices, indicative of an ethnically motivated bias, which is antithetical to the values of free speech and equality.

Ethnically Aggravated Unfair Ban

[EVIDENCE]:

EXHIBIT A

"Pretty sure Hamas is in Breach of the ICJ for not immediately releasing all the hostages. Will the UN point this out?"

EXHIBIT B

Hamas is not a state, so the ICJ order is not binding on them.

Hamas is in violation of international law, which would be prosecuted under the ICC.

EXHIBIT C
Please find attached herein, for your reference and perusal, the pertinent hyperlink to the comment which has been designated by the Defendants as being in contravention of the established community rules. Said hyperlink is located at the lower left quadrant of the accompanying Screenshot

EXHIBIT D

removed post purportedly for being an opinon/analysis

EXHIBIT E

link clearly marked as news by the guardian titled: "Israel appears to be in breach of ICJ orders on Gaza, senior UN official says"

EXHIBIT F

exemplar, evidencing The Guardian's customary practice of unequivocally delineating opinion pieces

EXHIBIT G

Enclosed within this communication is a detailed sub-thread comprising numerous allegations of discriminatory conduct, manifestly directed at comments and commentators expressing pro-Palestinian sentiments, including, but not limited to, unwarranted bans. This sub-thread evidences a discernible and unwavering pattern of such prejudicial treatment extending over a period exceeding three months, thereby underscoring a systematic approach to moderation that appears to disproportionately affect individuals and viewpoints advocating for Palestinian perspectives.

EXHIBIT H

The undersigned hereby submits witness testimony by u/jwfallinker which establishes a correlative link between the observable shift in the subreddit's character and the implementation of unfair moderation practices, and the change of moderators in October 2021.

EXHIBIT I

The undersigned presents for the record a testimony from/u/didsomebodysaymyname who was subject to an unwarranted exclusion from participation, subsequent to their articulation of a statement asserting that three hostages were fatally compromised by actions attributable to the Israel Defense Forces (IDF). This testimony details the circumstances surrounding the ban, emphasizing the user's assertion as a factual recounting of events, and challenges the fairness and appropriateness of the moderation action taken in response to such a statement.

EXHIBIT J Israeli Ministry of Affairs website, confirming /u/didsomebodysaymyname assertions

• Yotam Haim, 28, of Kibbutz Kfar Azza - Abducted from his home on October 7. He managed to escape from Hamas captivity on December 15, but was mistaken for a terrorist by IDF troops, who opened fire and killed him during battle.
• Alon Lulu Shamriz, 26, of Kibbutz Kfar Azza - Abducted from his home on October 7. He managed to escape from Hamas captivity on December 15, but was mistaken for a terrorist by IDF troops, who opened fire and killed him during battle.
• Samer Fuad El-Talalka, 22, of Hura - Abducted from Kibbutz Nir Am on October 7. He managed to escape from Hamas captivity on December 15, but was mistaken for a terrorist by IDF troops, who opened fire and killed him during battle.

Finally, list the case members as they get added.

JUDGE- /u/kerberos69

DEFENCE- /u/unknown228822 (pending client's approval)

PROSECUTOR- /u/Bananak47

COURT VENDOR- /u/famousevan selling fresh, buttery popcorn. Halal and Kosher varieties available.

AUDIENCE - /u/under-a-soft-sky : making sarcastic comments under their breath and occasional ooos and aaahhs.

• /u/frazing

Other- If necessary add Stenographer, Bailiff, Witness, etc

Good time of day wherever y’all may be.

I raise some disturbing evidence to the court, the mods of r/HVAC have deviated from their posted policy. I have fallen victim to a ban of a subreddit for an industry that I myself am a professional with many years of experience in. I work in HVAC distribution and received an amazing deal on expensive equipment, in my haste I made a post to r/HVAC after quickly skimming the rules and noting that the Ad rules opened saying no posting links to outside websites to sell. I posted a photo of my newly acquired items and said to DM me, there was no ad sharing involved. I was swiftly permanently banned from the subreddit, with the mod team proclaiming it is posted that selling things on the subreddit is an automatic permanent ban. In which it does not.

Proof will be posted in the comments of these heinous crimes. The actions of this specific unknown mod for r/HVAC will not go unnoticed!

[CHARGES] Unjust permanent ban, instead of post removal only.

What Happened:

I made post titled "Which regional birb is the cutest? Definitely Pidove right?" and it included a picture of all nine regional birds. Approximately 4 hours into the post going up it had gained 500 karma and then was removed for violating rule 3. Rule 3 states discussion post must not include images unless it "uniquely informs" or "uniquely prompts" the discussion. It is my belief that a discussion of the appearances of pokemon are uniquely informed by providing a reference picture for the viewer. My case hinges on the interpretation of "uniquely informs" and how the use of this rule was unfairly used against me on a post gaining a lot of traction.

[CHARGES]: Unjust removal of post, Karma suppression

[EVIDENCE]: The Post I have DMs between myself and the mod team but not sure how to or if I should share them.

Hello all, first time posting here. Bringing you a case about the most important thing on the internet : a cat.

What Happened:

Some people keep on stealing my cat pictures (who is a notmycat, but not the point here !) for karma farming. Kind users here tag me on the new posts using my (stolen) pictures each time it happens again. I'm starting to be tired of seeing my cat (well not, but you get the point), my hand and my keyboard (yes, before you ask, it's an editing keyboard) on Reddit when I don't post it myself.

[CHARGES]:

stealing my picture of the cute cat to farm karma. Some people tag me on the comment to warn me the post has been stolen again, you can read that in the comment.

https://www.reddit.com/r/notmycat/comments/16i8nvr/still_not_my_cat/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

[EVIDENCE]:

this was my original post

https://www.reddit.com/r/notmycat/comments/127jc1p/still_not_my_cat/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Proof that it's my cat :

https://www.reddit.com/r/blackcats/comments/14ygimd/help_my_void_is_upside_down_how_do_i_reset_it/

And the little guy is litteraly seating on my lap while I'm writting this post. He is disagreeing that I spend so much time fighting crime on the internet instead of petting him. Please help him.

Hello fellow Redditors,

I've been reflecting on the concept of karma lately and the idea that the positive energy we put into the world often comes back to us in unexpected ways. It's not just a belief but a philosophy that many cultures and traditions embrace.

I'd like to encourage a discussion around the power of karma and the joy of performing acts of kindness and good deeds. Whether it's helping a neighbor in need, volunteering for a cause you're passionate about, or simply brightening someone's day with a small gesture, these actions can have a ripple effect on our lives and the lives of others.

So, I'm here to ask for your stories, experiences, and insights related to karma. Have you ever experienced a situation where a good deed or act of kindness came back to you in a surprising or meaningful way? Or perhaps you have a personal story about how helping others has brought positivity into your life.

Let's share these moments of positivity and inspire each other to continue spreading kindness and positivity in our communities and beyond. Remember, even the smallest acts of goodness can make a significant difference.

Share your stories and let's discuss the power of karma and the beauty of making the world a better place through our actions.

People of r/KarmaCourt, I bring to you a case of spam in the server r/riseofnationsroblox and r/RoNroblox. do me a favor and take a look at any post that is on these servers, like, this one:

https://www.reddit.com/r/riseofnationsroblox/comments/15i3ycy/the_logic_of_scorchers/ or;

https://www.reddit.com/r/riseofnationsroblox/comments/15i3r9c/why_is_this_sub_being_flooded_with_utter_garbage/

or just most of the posts on the sub.

all the same message

"I’m a minor"

this is very clearly a case of spam and potentially of self-doxing and harassment.

Judge: u/dpx6101

Defence: u/Demonking3343

Bartender, Prosecution: u/Buttman980

Petty karma grab:

https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/150ryk3/why_would_you_want_to_live_a_peaceful_happy_life/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1

Good afternoon fellow redditors! My last case was to bulldoze this here miserable house of "guilty" persons we used to ~~give ~~ sell to the kourt after we abolished the food safety codes to allow executed (in any way) meat.

What I present here is FAR more sinister than what's even imaginable!

It is said that Reddit through extremely high api usage costs will force out EVERY Reddit app, and force us to use their own shitty software.

Remember /.? How's about Digg? It's soon going to be rotting with them. So, who could help whip up a kase before the end? There are far too many crimes here to specify exactly which they are breaking, so let's formulate a list?

But first things first. Whose dick ya gotta choke down to get a drink from our missing official kort bartender?

CHARGES: Suicide, douche-baggery, aggravated destruction, assault on Snoo

Evidence: Everywhere

​

Karma Kort Staff:

​

JUDGE- /r/Socratov

DEFENCE- /u/

PROSECUTOR- /u/Bananak47

JURORS- /u/dpx6101

BARTENDER- /u/Bananak47 /u/Death_Passed

EXECUTIONER(S)- /u/dpx6101 /u/Zrex_9224

ARMS DEALER(S)- /u/Andrelam /u/Heinrik

JESTERS(S)- /u/Bananak47

EMOJI-LANGUAGE (SIGN LANGUAGE) INTERPRETER- /u/tooboredtothnkofname

BUS BOY/BLOOD WIPER- /u/MightTurnIntoaStory

$10 DUCK DANCER(S)- /u/Bananak47

CONCESSIONS- /u/Zrex_9224

UNDERTAKER/BODY CHOP SHOP- SEE BELOW🔻🔻🔻

ROTTING CARCASS MEAT VENDER(S) (CULINARY ABOMINATION EXPERT) 🤢- /r/TinCanOHate & /u/The-Daleks

COURTHOUSE DEMOLITION CREW- /u/IndecisiveRedditor

JURY EATING DANCING LOBSTER(S)- /u/

PROFESSIONAL JOINT SOUNDFX & SMOKER- /u/Dramatic85

Other- If necessary add Stenographer, Bailiff, Witness, etc

Their post is titled new phone just dropped. But is it not far more likely that they dropped an old phone and took a picture with a new one? AITA? DAE google en passant?

DEPOSITION:

WHEREFORE, on Thursday, April 13^(th) of the year of our Lord MMXXIII, the Defendant (u/indecisiveredditor) filed a proposal to demolish this, our great Kourt,

WHEREFORE, as is normal for court cases in this circuit, he included a list of needed roles,

WHEREFORE, at the top of that list was a request for a gravedigger, to "dig up half rotting meat for the court room [sic] food vendor",

WHEREFORE, the Tin Can O' Hate ("KarmaCourt's best pub and eatery!") serves only the finest quality food and spirits,

WE, the Plaintiffs, take Umbrage at the Defendant's scurrilous libel of our Reputation, and request satisfaction.

​

PLAINTIFFS:

• r/TinCanOHate
• The Daleks, owners and operators of r/TinCanOHate
• CMOT Dibbler, supplier of the Tin Can O' Hate's Sausage Inna Buns
• u/Rou2_Rambo, proprietor of Rambo's [unprintable]s

DEFENDANT:

• u/indecisiveredditor

REQUESTED COMPENSATION:

• $15,000,000 (fifteen million United States Dollars)

EVIDENCE:

• Exhibit 1: https://imgur.com/ne1pRy5

​

PRIMARY ROLES:

• Judge: u/dpx6101
• Prosecutor: u/Bananak47
• Defense: u/ScarletWill1
• Jury:
  • Juror #4: u/graggy_ice

ONLOOKERS:

• u/karmaistaken123: Annoying Insurance Salesman

NEW CASE

Let's get together at 21:30 CST tonight to get this case setup

Good afternoon fellow insane redditors.

I'd like to make a motion to bulldoze this here courthouse (with employees still at work inside) to the ground and pardon those who haven't been executed yet.
We can't seem to make money here between inflation, the court bar tenders, legally licensed court appointed con-artist, and our swift execution team that swoops in before the gavel rests.

Let's put up a good tax generator! Perhaps a do-it-yourself cat wash? Otherwise, this starving jester will start filling as many frivolous lawsuits as possible to keep my coked-out gay strippers on my table.

Needed roles: Grave digger - to apparently dig up half rotting meat for the court room food vendor.

We still need: Judge, attorney, jury, bar tenders, cheerleaders, con-artist, scammers, crooks, and bible thumping idiots please!!!

So what happened?

Provide an outline of what has occurred. Hyperlink any necessary quotations or points. Format as necessary. Refer to exhibits or evidence as you feel is required. One or two pieces often suffice, but more evidence is better.

[CHARGES]: list some

[EVIDENCE]: include links.

CHARGE: List first charge here.

CHARGE: List second charge here. Carry on as necessary.

Evidence:

[EXHIBIT A](Link to evidence inside parenthesis)

[EXHIBIT B](If more than one piece of evidence. Link to evidence inside parenthesis)

[EXHIBIT C](If more than one piece of evidence. Link to evidence inside parenthesis, carry on as necessary.)

Finally, list the case members as they get added.

JUDGE- /u/Judgename

DEFENCE- /u/DefenceName

PROSECUTOR- /u/ProsecutionName

Other- If necessary add Stenographer, Bailiff, Witness, etc

What Happened: I may not be vegan but I was just trying to ask r/vegan an honest question about cheese balls on behalf of my wife (who I love very much) and the 'fine folks' of that subreddit chose to doxx my profile instead so they could harass me and hurt my feelings instead of simply helping me with cheese ball alternatives like they could have.

Addendum #1: My motive in the post on r/vegan was just to get some light-hearted advice on behalf of my wife on how she can perhaps avoid cheese balls. I happen to know it's one of her guilty pleasures and, no, I don't force feed them to her lol. I love buying vegan products (especially cheeses) for her and also got some good recommendations for alternatives from a few kind redditors. Unfortunately, that's not how r/vegan saw the situation and I was somehow ostracized and bullied for my diet instead, without even bringing it up whatsoever.

Also want to let y'all know that the admins chose to ban my account because that's how this website chooses to handle brigading and harassment apparently - shooting down the easiest target is the most convenient after all :)

Addendum #2: adding supporting screenshots below since r/vegan took the post down. Enjoy!

[CHARGES]: petty theft, racketeering, stalking, harassment, and first-degree bullying :(

[EVIDENCE]: link to post: https://redd.it/11clguq and screenshots

Case members:

JUDGE- u/unknown228822

DEFENSE- u/AZSubby, u/Astranoth (although neither wish to represent r/vegan in this matter, they have been assigned as the de facto defense by the presiding judge to allow for continuance of proceedings and an opportunity for fair representation)

PROSECUTOR- u/tooboredtothnkofname

BAILIFF- u/dpx6101

WITNESSES- u/9999monkeys, u/Bananak47

Addendum #3: After much deliberation, it seems we have reached a conclusion - all while r/vegan is nowhere to be found as they continue to point fingers and call everyone else around them idiots (like almost every other safe space on this godforbidden webshite). The admins have also decided to unban my account, but good luck ever getting a confession out of them as to how poorly run this place is or how little they actually care about their job! This has been u/deadmanwalkins, thank you for joining me on another adventure of 'fuck this shit, im out' ✌️

Hon'rable citizens and memb'rs of this kourt,

mine own nameth is scarletwill1, a retiredeth memb'r of this hon'rable kourt. I has't cometh h're the present day bef're thee in 'rd'r to proveth yond the administrat'rs art dictat'rs.

thee seeth, mine own fellow citizens, if 't be true thee readeth the description of the subreddit thee shall seeth "don't giveth out thy social security numb'r. " Wherefore shouldst any sir or mistress beest f'rbidden from sharing their social security numb'r with their peers?

i asketh of thee to amerce this grave encumb'rment of the fundamental right to shareth our owneth social security numb'rs!

[CHARGES]: dictatorship.exe, restrictionOfRights.bin

CHARGE: dictatorship.exe

CHARGE: restrictionOfRights.bin

Finally, list the case members as they get added.

JUDGE- /u/unknown228822

DEFENCE-

PROSECUTOR- /u/ScarletWill1

Person who gasps dramatically in the courtroom- u/dpx6101

Person who shushes the person dramatically gasping in the courtroom- u/hloukao

Bailiff- u/LChanelT

Drunk bailiff- u/tooboredtothinkofname

Jury- u/themanfromoctober

Opening judge to warm up the jury- u/HelloIAmKelly

Stenographer- u/karmaistaken123

Faints in the gallery- u/makerofrages

Massaging their head- u/VerlinMerlin

Tubbs- u/intent_joy_love

Person who looks from person to person as they point at each other- u/argonlightray2

Man who coughs loudly in the back as the death sentence is being read- u/Smoke-alarm

Before I begin, I want to make one thing clear: I am not an Ohio State fan. To be perfectly honest, I am largely indifferent toward them when it comes to sports outside of football. However, as a fan of good college basketball, I expect quality from major conference teams, especially when said teams have a $109.38 million athletics budget like Ohio State does, which is the largest in the US according to Ohio State themselves (See Exhibit C). Now, to be fair, the article doesn't break down how much each sport gets and is old, but even still, that's a lot of money. I will also point out that major conference fans tend to doubt mid-major programs, such as in exhibit D, where a fan questions how many wins College of Charleston would have in the Big 12 and questioned them being ranked as high as they were. This is ignoring that 1. CoC had lost ONE GAME by that point and B) Conference play was still in the beginning at that point. More to the point of this case, Ohio State is, at the time of writing this, 11-12, on a 4-game losing streak, has won all of 3 games in conference play (See Exhibit A), and is bad to the point that the QB for the school's OWN FOOTBALL TEAM states that a group of football players could the Ohio State basketball team (See Exhibit B). Now, while some of those players on the football team could have played competitive basketball at some point, it is definitely not their focus at this time. If it were, they probably wouldn't be on the football team. This degeneration has led to Ohio State fans calling for the firing of a coach who was just extended (Exhibit E) and questioning the effort of the players (Exhibit F), among other things that can be found in the game thread from what is, at the time of writing this, their most recent game (Exhibit G). I am reminded of a line from Shakespeare's Julius Caesar: "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves." Aside from being the basis for the second charge, this quote is applicable to Ohio State basketball. The fault of how painful Ohio State has become to watch is not in some cosmic basketball entity, but in the players and coaches on that team. Now watch Ohio State get a wholly undeserved bid in March Madness over a much more deserving mid-major.

CHARGE: PAINFULTOWATCH.EXE-What it says on the tin

CHARGE: NOTINOURSTARS.WAV-Bad play and coaching are to blame.

Evidence:

EXHIBIT A

EXHIBIT B

EXHIBIT C

EXHIBIT D

EXHIBIT E

EXHIBIT F

EXHIBIT G

Finally, list the case members as they get added.

JUDGE- /u/us3rnam3_ch3cks_0ut-

DEFENCE- /u/ScarletWill1

PROSECUTOR- /u/ProsecutionName

Juror- u/Legal_Refuse

We are gathered here today as a culmination of several days of one of the most embarrassing kourt trials in our history. My client was not simply charged without any real evidence. The actors before you conspired to wrongfully accused my client of trumped up charges and then conspired to have my client's reputation destroyed before this esteemed kourt by hook or by crook.

CHARGES

The following charges are brought against the defendants, each charge is numbered and the charges against each of the defendants are listed below.

1. Abuse of KarmaCourt- First Degree (The defendant knowingly, and with prior intent, attempted to destroy the esteemed reputation of our kourt). Recommend sentence- execution.

2. Abuse of KarmaCourt- Second Degree (The defendant knowingly, but without prior intent, attempted to destroy the esteemed reputation of our kourt). Recommend sentence- execution.

3. Defamation- First Degree (The defendant knowingly, and with prior intent, attempted to destroy the reputation of the plaintiff). Recommended sentence- Karma reimbursement to plaintiff.

4. Defamation- Second Degree (The defendant knowingly, but without prior intent, attempted to destroy the reputation of the plaintiff). Recommend sentence- karma reimbursement to plaintiff.

5. Karma Theft- First Degree (The defendant knowingly posted, and with prior intent, a post or comment looking for karma gain rather than for the benefit of the kommunity). Recommend sentence- execution.

6. Misnaming- First Degree (The defendant knowingly, with prior intent, misnamed the defendant in a case misleading the kourt, and obstructing the defendant's ability to defend themselves). Recommend sentence- life imprisonment.

7. Misnaming- Second Degree (The defendant knowingly, but without prior intent, misnamed the defendant in a case misleading the kourt, and obstructing the defendant's ability to defend themselves). Recommend sentence- 10 years imprisonment.

8. Falsification of Evidence- First Degree (The defendant knowingly, with prior intent, falsified evidence within a case misleading the kourt, in an attempt to obstruct the defendant's ability to defend themselves). Recommend sentence- execution.

9. Lying under oath- First Degree (The defendant knowingly, and with prior intent, lied within a case misleading the kourt). Recommend sentence- life imprisonment.

10. Abuse of KarmaCourt- Third Degree (The defendant, through unrelated actions, caused events that attempted to destroy the esteemed reputation of our kourt). Recommend sentence- life imprisonment.

Defendants and their charges:

u/bananak47: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 9.

u/karmaistaken123: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

u/Rou2_Rambo: 2, 3, 4, 5, 9, 10.

[EVIDENCE]: This case is huge as you can imagine, and evidence is currently being collected by the prosecution. It will be posted here as it is collected.

EXHIBIT A

EXHIBIT B

EXHIBIT C

[EXHIBIT D] (https://www.reddit.com/r/KarmaCourt/comments/102zatm/comment/j369crj/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

[EXHIBIT E] (https://www.reddit.com/r/KarmaCourt/comments/102zatm/comment/j384j4z/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

[Exhibit F] (https://www.reddit.com/r/KarmaCourt/comments/102zatm/the_people_of_rkarmakourt_v_ustandard_pen_1355/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)

[EXHIBIT G] (https://www.reddit.com/r/KarmaCourt/comments/102zatm/the_people_of_rkarmakourt_v_ustandard_pen_1355/j36rqjj/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)

Exhibit H

Witness 1- u/Thelmholtz

Witness 2- u/MastahToni

Finally, list the case members as they get added.

JUDGE- u/TerminatedPassword

DEFENCE- /u/karmaistaken123, u/Rou2_Rambo, u/Bananak47, u/heinrik-,

PROSECUTOR- /u/unknown228822

CLOSED PARENTHESIS- u/crappenheimers

BARTENDER- u/MastahToni

EXECUTIONER- u/ImaginaryQualia

Other- If necessary add Stenographer, Bailiff, Witness, etc

karmaistaken slides into the kourts wearing Sonic the Hedgehog limited edition crocs as Dream On~ blasts on the speakers

Today I have a case that should have not been posted here but due to the negligence of the moderators, you are being presented with it. People of r/karmakourt vs u/Standard_Pen_1355 for posting irrelevant content within the honorable kourts causing anxiety and distress as well as severe depression. I ask the people of the kourts, when you open this subreddit, what do you expect? Well, cases being posted and people having well thought out discussions fighting for their rights. What you don't expect are individuals such as standard_pen_1355 posting their views on specific matters to gain attention and karma from the kourt. This is utterly disgusting, to the core. I don't know how justices would allow this, but again, here we are. We don't give a flying fu*k about Ronaldo in the kourts. Irrelevant and unrelated content is not welcome anywhere. I hereby, expect the kourt to hand him a out a death sentence by hanging for violating the honor and sanctity of the kourt.

CHARGE: Karmawhoring in the third degree

CHARGE: Violating the honor within the kourts.

CHARGE: Causing Emotional Distress, Anxiety and what not.

CHARGE: Posting irrelevant content to r/karmakourt

Evidence:

ORIGINAL POST

Finally, list the case members as they get added.

JUDGE- u/J_S_M_K

DEFENCE- u/unknown228822, DEFENCE INTERN- u/Thelmholtz

PROSECUTOR- u/Bananak47

WITNESS # 1- u/Rou2_Rambo

HOT DONG MAN- u/Rou2_Rambo

68 YEAR OLD MAN JUDGING EVERYONE- u/brian56537

MAN ASLEEP AT THE BACK- u/angelis0236

EXECUTIONER- u/Heinrik-

Other- If necessary add Stenographer, Bailiff, Witness, etc

u/AzryxTheFolf is seen here suggesting, in detail, 'illegal detail', that garlic bread may actually be pizza. This is slanderous. How can that be? The very idea is...is... wrong. This can't be allowed to happen. Garlic bread is not pizza. It can't be! cries in denial; roars in anger

We can't just allow a human, any human, to simply challenge our worldviews! Garlic bread is not pizza! u/AzryxTheFolf must be brought to trial and made to answer for his crimes.

CHARGE: Suggesting garlic bread is pizza

EVIDENCE:

Original post by the defendant

Screenshot as backup

Case members:

JUDGE- u/FailureToCompute

PROSECUTOR- u/unknown228822

DEFENSE- u/mracademic

HOT DONG MAN- u/Rou2_Rambo

Petulant child screaming and throwing cheerios from the gallery- u/cloudyah

Petulant child's daddy- u/Haidere1988

Bailiff- u/mrbarkyoriginal

Executioner- u/karmaistaken123

Teenage girl who gasps loudly and swoons with each new presented piece of evidence- u/GurthangIronOfDeath

The one making gavel sound effects- u/andysun25

Angry mob comprising of: u/smell_the_funk, u/Dangerous-Pain-5000

FBI agent standing in the back of the room who's been following the defendant around since he started having that opinion- u/SeanCityNavy_Gaming