I (f13) am seeking help on how to deal with my brother m(14). He has always been autistic with BLMD (boarder line mood disorder). He refuses to go to sleep at a decent time like 10 or 11 and stays up till 8 am and when we go to get him up at 9 he always throws the biggest fit. He never acted like this before he went to his dad's and when he came back he was not who he wad before. Today we had to call the cops because he kept making threats saying he was going to kill me and my mom, the cat, and my dad. The cops came and gave him a warning and a long lecture. I'm writing this 15 minutes after and need some help. I'm genuinely scared and can't go to anyone's house as all my friends are on vacation and the only friend that is home is in the hospital. What do I do?

I found this walkie talkie from a corpse, if anyone is on the other end.. PLEASE HELP, A HUGE MUTANT IS HERE, OUR PISTOLES HAVE NO EFFECT, WE ARE IN THE BUNKER RIGHT NOW AND WE HAVE 2 CHILDREN WITH US, I REPEAT IF ANYONE IS THERE, PLEASE HE- ~static~

I found a journal not to long ago so i started logging my information i usually go scavenging during night time i took out a raider or thats atleast what i call them they werent carrying much like a bit of ammo And a gun and also a bit of bandaids i also found a knife today so i dont have to punch as much.

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELPPPPPPPPP HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

......

OH if any one heres this i am at a walmart with 19 other survivors if you want please come to us we are in dallas texas

​

So some context me 20 F and my husband 21 M got married in March of 2023 after being together for 6 months I have a daughter from a previous relationship. My soon to be ex husband was in jail when we stated dating we got married a month after he got out. Right after we got married he stated becoming abusive and narcissistic it took me a while to see that but my family did! I’m June of 2023 we were at a friends house 2 hours away from where we live, he started to yell at me and be mean to me my daughter and my friend who at the time was 8 months pregnant and I’m pour health, she wasn’t having it I just ignored him but she went off on him, we had a plan to go swimming at a public pool he knew the plan but threw a fit about it in the middle of Walmart when we got back to my friends house he was overly mad he was coming in and out of the house bitching. He came in once and grabbed my keys, I’m not sure why my car was unlocked well after he came back from my car my daughter wanted the keys to play with she 1 and I have toys on my key ring for her to play with well he was in a bad mood and proceeded to throw my keys at her head he then proceeded to gaslight me and my friend into thinking we didn’t see him throw them, me and my friend and my daughter left and went swimming we left him outside her apartment thinking he’d leave. He did but he blames me for leaving him it was hot and he was broke because he expected me to give him money (my money to pay my bills) he didn’t work and refused to, aita I don’t think I am but he has everyone believing I am. I have kicked him out and filled for a divorce!

It's kinda sad that everything in this thread is fully dead

where'd you all go :(

I had said previously that the assault on The Reserve was much different from the previous attacks. We had seen a couple of groups of mutants attack the walls of our compound but never of this scale. The other main difference from our normal attack is how organized the attack was. From the initial attack on our main gate to draw the attention to the way they could destroy our watchtowers to access The Reserve from all angles. The natural forest that grew in this area made it really easy to keep ourselves from being found quickly. It also helped quite a bit that the Bennett Lodge was surrounded by a small moat and had a lake on one side. When the horde finally fell on the lodge we realized right away that this was going to last a while. The few of us that had taken up the role of defense and sniping took shifts. I was assigned the night shift with Noah and Tom and we were given support from some of the night owls of the group. We also made sure to stagger the defense shifts and the support shifts. It kept everyone alert and made sure that we were all getting appropriate rest. The first half of the third year was filled with constant gunfire as we killed any mutants that showed from the woods. Our plan remained to keep our defenses as unused as possible because we knew that they would be essential to brunt the assault when the large waves started to attack. One night, I looked through the scope of my rifle and took aim on a mutant. I took the shot and the mutant fell on the pile with all the other corpses. It was an interesting sight, a ring of dead bodies that circled the lodge. It sat just outside the outer ring of barbed wire. A couple of mutants had made their way to the barbed wire but they got caught up in it and made it much easier to shoot. I grabbed another bullet and chambered it. I then took another sandwich off of one of the plates on the roof. Noah and Tom were looking off in other directions. I scanned the forest line and seeing nothing I turned back to the center. Between the three of us was a small table and on it we had a small card game laid out. It was my turn and I made my plays quickly then tapped Noah’s shoulder to tell him it was his turn. Our game continued like this slowly as a large about of our time was used stopping mutants. One of the things I was thankful of was the lack of elemental mutants that had made their way to the lodge. I had only seen two total in the 2 and a half years leading to this night. “It’s about 3 am right now. We should be getting another round of water and food soon then in another 3 hours we will be off duty.” Tom said announcing our schedule. It was pretty standard for someone on the shift to take the timer so we kept ourselves on time. “I am happy that they aren’t attacking fast. It makes thing feel a little easier and I’m not as stressed out about protecting everyone.” Noah said while taking his turn in our game. I did another scan when I saw a water mutant crawl out of the lake. I sighed and got up. “I’ll be right back.” I grabbed one of the small pop bottles we stored up here and flew down to confront it. While I went to do this Noah and Tom were on full alert as losing one of the defenders was a huge disadvantage. I opened the bottle and took my offensive stance. It stared at me with a devilish look in its eyes. I sparred with the mutant for about a minute then in one motion kicked it with a fire foot then setting the bottle under its form for when it turned to water. I caught some of it’s form into the bottle and capped it quickly. I then flew back up to the roof in time to hear the bell of the tower go off. I went to open it for the suppliers but instead of our normal suppliers of Sydney and Mikayla we got Titan. I looked at him knowingly and handed him the bottle. He took it and handed me the supply cooler and said he would be back at 6 to relieve us. Tonight’s update will end here. Have a good night all.

Power outages were frequent during our 4 year stint holing up in Bennett. It would have caused a lot of problems if it hadn’t been for our use of a cooking fire most of the time. The refrigerator was much more of an issue when it came to power outages. We determined that anything that absolutely needed to be refrigerated or frozen at all times would be kept in an ice chest that didn’t require power. It meant we had to frequently take ice that we were making from the freezer down to the basement where our ice box was. The only other thing that suffered from power outages were the morale of the residents. Whenever the power would go out, Titan would gather everyone who was awake at the cooking fire and start a meal. The talking and cooking would do well to keep spirits up. Other than the cooking gatherings there were few things to do to keep people occupied. Thankfully, the raiding mission Max and I went on, I found a large amount of books and board games to bring back. I am glad to report that those things definitely kept spirits up. For the next two months I took up some extra watchtower duties and Max did the same. We felt bad that Noah, Titan and Tom were forced to cover our shifts so we gave them a break for a time. I was able to finish my cigar finally after the week of not smoking while on the road. At about a year into our survival we finally reached the point where the mutant sightings around the lodge were as frequent as twice a day. At the moment the watchtower duty was still sufficient to keep the residents safe but I had told Titan that we would probably see the assault on the lodge sometime in the coming year. We had come to the agreement that we would not inform the rest of the residents. Only Titan, Max, Noah, Ripper and I knew the truth of this horror and we kept tight lips about it. They say that in times of crisis that a smile will go along way for most. Even while I believed that most of the residents knew we were keeping something under wraps they were content with not knowing. There was one instance of a rumor going around about how we were avoiding the situation with our lack of information given to the residents of The Reserve, but Titan quickly curtailed it by throwing a small party and saying that is what we were keeping quiet about. I knew Titan well from before the apocalypse and he was always a cheery and upbeat personality. The times had changed him quite a bit but one thing that remained the same was his determination to keep us happy and going. This kind of dedication to the people he lived and survived with made him an asset to stifle some of the struggles of the days. When the fateful day did come when the horde of mutants was upon the doorstep of the lodge, Will had readied us well. Almost everyone was given a task to do to keep us going. Most were going to be fighting, we would use the watchtower to get onto the roof of the lodge and snipe the mutants as they arrived. We wanted to keep our explosives and barbed wire traps from being set off as long as possible. The ones that couldn’t fight were to bar doors and windows, keep the garden growing the food, cook and supply everyone with anything they needed. Not a single person stepped out of line for the two years that we fought that assault and it honestly surprised me how that happened. A late night update is better than no update at all, I guess. Cleaning the growing fields of dead mutants is a lot more work than one would imagine but most of the fields are clean. Hopefully tomorrow’s update will not be as late. Goodnight to all those still listening. Sleep in safety and continue living.

While the human psyche can be very resilient at times, there are still things nobody can prepare themselves for. I never expected to have to witness a person turn right in front of me. As Max drove down the road on our return trip to The Reserve, I spotted a figure lying in the road. We slowed to a stop and got out. We readied our weapons as we approached. The figure was a woman that was just lying in the road. “Hey are you okay?” I asked as we stepped slowly forward. “Get away from me!” She yelled at us. “Just let me die.” I looked to Max who stepped forward again. I shook my head at him but he didn’t even look at me. “It’s going to be okay ma’am.” He said as he was about a foot away from her. “Can you tell us your name?” “Leave me alone. I just want to die.” I scanned the area and while looking over her I saw a nasty looking infection crawling up her arm that was just barely peeking out of the collar of her shirt. Her long sleeve shirt and pants were concealing the infection well but I could tell that whatever it was had been festering for a while now. I put my hand on Max’s shoulder to hold him and to say that we should leave. He shook me off and took one final step to her. “Get aw-a-a-y f-rrro-o-m m...” she sputtered out. The transformation was cruel. The infection that I had seen slowly moving up the neck started to move up much faster and overtake all of her skin. She convulsed and curled into a ball as I heard bones crunch and skin tear. The convulsions continued and I couldn’t handle it. I grabbed Max and pulled him towards the van. We got in and Max floored it. The woman turned got up just as the van smashed into her. We ran over her crumpled body and just kept driving. When we were within 10 miles of the Reserve after 2 days of driving I radioed to Titan. “Titan this is Kyler, we are approaching The Reserve with supplies.” “Kyler this is Titan, we will meet you at the shed with the supply cart.” We were able to get to the shed easily and start moving our supplies. We got the seeds to our small farming area, stocked the pantry with all of our non perishable items. Toiletries were stored away in the closet and all the water and alcohol was put into the fridge. The last load that we moved into the lodge were the collection of weapons we found. We placed all of the weapons in our makeshift armory that was near the watchtower. After that I was exhausted. So I asked Titan if I could use the master bedroom for the rest of the evening. He obliged and I slept in the bed. When I woke that night I went to the kitchen area to get something to drink and eat. Titan was still up with a bottle of bourbon so I grabbed a couple cans of soda and one of the moonshines I kept in the fridge and sat with him. We sat together on the porch and as I was mixing up my drink he began to talk. “Thanks a lot Kyler.” I took a sip from my drink and nodded. “It really wasn’t a problem. We needed to do something and that was our best choice.” “It’s awfully beautiful tonight.” Titan said while looking up at the stars. “Surprising when the world has gone to absolute shit.” We sat in silent agreement as we drank our beverages. The night was full of the sounds of mutants roaming The Reserve. Sometimes a nice peaceful chat is all you need to clear your head. Five days straight of updating has really helped me. I’ve calmed down quite a bit and we have made some major progress on The Reserve and soon we should be back in working condition. Our fire burns brighter each day. May the embers of our flame ignite others around the world.

One of my least favorite parts of the apocalypse is the smell. Seems weird because you probably don’t notice it anymore. It’s that weird mix of rotting food, stale blood, burnt metal, and a preponderance of chemicals. The two areas you smell this the most are in areas with a lot of factories and work sites and oddly large suburbs. The only reason I bring this up is that the second day of raiding Farmer for Max and I was mainly in a suburb area and the stench was heavy in the air. We parked the van in the center of the main intersection of this area. We decided we would raid the 4 blocks that the intersection separated then the next day would be when we started our drive back to The Reserve. “I say we start with the Northwest block and move around clockwise.” Max suggested as we had seen the least safe buildings in that block when we circled the area doing our scouting. I agreed with him and we started our mission. Blocks are easy to raid for the most part because you can take out the houses in order around the block. We had been correct in our assessment of the unsafe houses. There were only a few mutants in this block but that was probably because most of the houses had large amounts of damage. Overall the first block had very little in the way of salvageable supplies. I found a couple boxes of miscellaneous ammo. Max found some clean first aid supplies. The final house in block 1 had a mostly intact library. I looked to Max. “Is it really worth the risk?” He asked me. “We are going to be holed up in that lodge for who knows how long, what else do you want?” Max shrugged. “Okay but you do the work on that stuff. I’m gonna head across the street and start raiding that block.” We nodded to each other and went about our different tasks. I started moving different books and games from the library, I found a bunch of different types of card and board games including one of my favorites, Magic The Gathering. By the time I moved the important pieces of the library into the van, Max had cleared the first two houses only finding about a weeks worth of rations. The rest of the second and third blocks were pretty empty. A weapon and ammo here, a couple cans of food there. The real prize came when we entered the 4 block of houses. Beginning with the garage of the first house we found about 5 cans full of gas. There was also a gun cabinet in the garage that had a pair of rifles, a shotgun, 3 handguns, and a crossbow. Each weapon came with an unopened box of ammo and a partial box. Max and I decided that before taking the loot we would check the rest of the house to see if there were any residents still alive. We had just finished sweeping all of the first floor rooms when the thudding sound began. It was actually multiple thuds, repeated and almost rhythmic. The thuds were coming from the upstairs so we quickly made our way to the second floor. There were 5 rooms on this floor, the first two opened to two empty bedrooms, one of what looked to be a young girl and the other, a teen boy. The third door opened to a study. It was relatively in good shape with only a fallen bookshelf seeming out of place. Upon the back of the chair was a hooded vest. It was a light blue color with a simple pattern on the back and a yellow hood. It seemed in good shape so I took it. The final two rooms on the second floor were where we heard the thudding. It was more prevalent from the door on the right so we decided to take care of the left room first. Max readied his pistol and I opened the door. It’s room was a bathroom and the thuds came from the curtained shower. Max reached out with his blade to move the curtains over and the sight we saw was one of pure horror and sadness. A zed was standing in the bathroom repeatedly hitting its head against the wall. The zed was probably the owner of the teenager’s room based on stature and looks and the wall was slightly cracked with blood just filling the wall. There are a lot of theories for what turned the world to shit, but this scene cemented one thing for me. It didn’t happen the same way for everyone. This scene showed a teen boy feeling himself turn over and try to stop himself from turning and hurting his family. It was a slow change and it almost worked. I wish I knew his name when I took the shot that would end his suffering. The body fell lifeless and I mourned the teen for a moment. Max tapped my shoulder and motioned to the other door. We opened it to see two female zeds, one an adult and the other a young child. It seemed like when these people turned, the father of the house had left to find help and told them not to move. The father never returned and the family descended to this state. I couldn’t bring myself to hurt the little girl so Max took care of these two while I went downstairs to finish our looting. The fridge and pantry were relatively bare but we did get a couple non-perishables out of the ordeal. After loading up all the weapons and ammo we finished the block finding similarly empty houses. It was obvious someone had picked a lot of these houses clean and we assumed that it was the family of the first house we saw. Max and I ate in an uncomfortable silence and what we had to do in that house. After setting the axel lock and raising our barricades we slept the night away in another uncomfortable silence. Sorry for the late and quick update today. We worked hard all day today finishing our rebuilding projects in the residential area. Our next area of reclamation is going to be the fields so we can start the farming early. The fire burns low but bright tonight. Sleep in safety and keep your wits.

Being cooped up in that lodge for so long was pretty torturous. It is a relatively large lodge with about 4 levels for us to spread out and we had the pool area and some other area to move about just around the lodge itself. The confinement however still caused for some of those claustrophobic episodes. Two of our group nearly tried to leave the area but we sat them down and worked through what they needed to keep them safe from the mutants. For the same reason, Max and I were very thankful that we would be able to make a trip to go get food for the group. Max and I were led through the tunnel into Ripper’s shed. He made us promise not to look around and just leave the shed as if it was empty. Max and I agreed, we knew what Ripper was capable of and crossing him would put you on the sharpened end of a knife. It was expected that van keys would be kept in the van’s glovebox any time the vehicle was not in use. Also, each van would have 4 cans of gas in the back at all times and 4 empty cans to get more gas on supply runs. We had each packed a backpack of a week’s worth of food and any other supplies we might need. Max packed only a few bullets for his revolver as he used mostly his katana. I brought a bit more in the way of bullets as I brought my trusty rifle. The only other thing we brought with us were a large amount of bags for us to bring back the food and other supplies we might find. Max took the first shift of driving as we started our journey to Farmer. We kept the radio off and sat mostly in silence. We were not the best of friends but we had definitely grew closer. Most of our time on the road was uneventful. The one in the passenger seat would be the spotter for any potential buildings to raid or threats ahead. On our first night we put up the metal window barricades on the outside of the van, one of the things that gave us a somewhat safe feeling. We would have normally took shifts on sleep and watch but the barricades and the axel lock kept our van safe from both mutants and looters/raiders. We had still not found anything worth raiding and we were about halfway to Farmer. “So,” Max began from the back row bench, “what do you think are the chances we make it out of this assault?” “I give us two years of survival if this mission goes well. If not, we might be forced to do something horrible or die.” I responded from the middle row bench. “Two years eh? That’s pretty hopeful. Honestly, I don’t see how far we can go. Knowing that we have only two weeks of food available is scary, made even more so by the questionable outcome of our mission.” I thought about it in silence. I trusted Titan, I knew that he would not intentionally hurt the group. I had to continue my faith. The next morning, we woke up early and set out for our destination, hoping to reach it by noon. As I drove, Max ate his breakfast. I had eaten mine while Max was removing the barricades and the axel lock. The uneventful drive ended with us in the parking lot of Garner Seed on the southern edge of Farmer. There were no mutants outside of the small store but the door was locked. We didn’t want to make too much noise so I just melted the lock and we let ourselves in. Raiding homes and businesses were a very methodical process. First we swept the store making sure there were no threats and then we started at the back of the store moving forward. We gathered up seeds of tomatoes, potatoes, more rice, carrots, and lettuce. We wanted to make sure we had a good variety without spreading ourselves too thin. We had talked with Becca, Titan and Ripper to see how many different foods we could grow at once. The consensus was five so that’s what we settled on here. I however did grab a couple of pepper and berry seeds for some fruits for small pots that we might have sitting around the lodge. After we set up our van for the night, we planned out the next two days of raiding. We planned on starting with the general store and the houses that sat in the small 5-mile radius around the store. The second day we decided we would check a small unmarked set of houses north of Farmer for some other supplies. In the morning we went to the general store and noticed something odd. The windows of the store had been broken so we actually cased the area before entering. I had to shoot a mutant around the back of the store but other than that, no threats were found. As we entered the building we heard a sound in the back room of the store. We cleared the rest of the store before moving to the back room. Max readied his revolver as we checked the corners upon entering the storeroom. Scanning the room I saw a pair of bodies huddled in the back corner of the storeroom. I motioned over to them, using my flames to direct Max’s attention. It was a pair of zeds, something I hadn’t seen for a couple months. Most of the zeds in the world have pretty much died out and only mutants remained as a threat. Thanks to the heavy deterioration of the zeds, we found they were easy to dismember with Max’s katana. I checked what they were huddled over while Max started the raiding of the storeroom. From what I could tell they were just feasting on a dead mutant. I joined Max on the collection of non-perishables. We found a ton of boxed goods and canned food that still haven’t reached expiration date. There were also some cases of water in the beverage isle and a couple of different alcohols. I grabbed all of the drinks I could because returning from this mission would warrant a little celebration. When we raid stores like this one we usually stack up our loads at the front of the store and then take all those loads out at once. We them repeat the process on a second round looking for clothes, toiletries and other quality of life supplies. After looking at our haul we concluded that the haul would last us around 6 months if we rationed carefully. That night Max and I ate a little nicer as we did well and still had a whole day of raiding left before the return trip. “So Kyler, I was wondering something.” “Go right ahead and ask.” I replied while taking another sip of whiskey from our new stash. “So you are like a mutant, right? That’s why you have those powers?” “I don’t 100% know the explanation. I did find some papers that talked about experiments with giving humans improved survivability. It seemed as though the people who did this to me thought that something would happen to the world, but it seems they did more damage than help.” We slept soundly that night but I could feel something on the horizon that might cause problems. Unfortunately, I will have to end the story here today. The rebuild continues today. We have made up some ground on the damage that was done over our 4-year fight. The fires of life will outlive this apocalypse and it starts with us.

You know, it’s amazing what the threat of death can do to bring a group to do remarkable things. Titan had planned for a lot of thing that the apocalypse brings about. Unfortunately for us, an all-out assault on The Reserve was not an event we had a contingency plan for. Having our moderately sized community living in such a confined space for so long brought about many issues. The biggest problem was that of food. Upon the onset of barricading ourselves in Bennett we had forgotten that we had cut ourselves off from our farming area. We had a little bit in terms of food but we knew we would have to go out eventually. We needed some sustainable food source that just wasn’t present. One day I was on sniper duty on the fake chimney of the lodge taking out most of the mutants before they could get to our razor wire and explosives as they were slowly making their way through The Reserve. Thankfully, the scope on our rifle was not damaged during the rescue mission to Michigan. I was about to take a shot on a stumbling mutant that was walking towards the Residential Area of The Reserve when I heard the ringing of the duty swap bell. I lowered the rifle and rang the bell inside our makeshift guard tower. I heard heavy steps making their way up the stairs. It was weird because normally Noah took sniper duty after me. I saw Titan enter the sniper nest. “We need to talk.” He said as he closed the door. I readied the rifle again aiming at my last target. “It’s about the food isn’t it...” “Yes, we don’t have much left, about a week and I can’t lie to them much longer.” Bang Direct hit to the head. The mutant fell to the ground with a satisfying thud. I sat the rifle down in it’s holder and picked up the cigar I was working on slowly. “We haven’t been to the fields in about 6 months. There is no way we are getting anything remotely sustainable from it even if we could get there.” I offered Titan the cigar and he waved it off. I guess he was too nervous for it right now. “So what do we do? There aren’t going to be easy ways to go to nearby towns to get supplies...” “Also we cleared out most of those towns when we were still on alert before the rescue.” Ring Ring Ring I looked at my watch then at Titan. “My shift isn’t up yet?” Titan shrugged then rang the bell. We waited and then Noah opened the door. He looked upbeat for some reason. “What’s up Noah?” Titan asked, “Kyler and I are kind of in the middle of something.” “Oh well I was gonna let Kyler off early. Apparently Becca wanted to show him something.” I shrugged and put out my cigar, there was about half of it left so I removed most of the ash and put it in a small plastic bag. Titan and I walked down the stairs still working on options for our food problems. Once we got to the first basement level I saw Becca and Danielle huddled in the corner near the small window. “Hey what’s up?” Becca shot up and turned to me. “Guys! It worked!” “What worked?” Titan asked. “Danielle and I figured out how to grow rice! We got lucky while looking through all the cooking supplies and found some rice that we can get to grow! If we can get a good enough area we might be able to use these seeds to create a sustainable food source.” Titan thought about it for a little bit. “What about the pool? We could fill it with dirt and use it as a small farm. Would that be enough space to grow for the group?” “It should be, but rice takes a bit of time to grow, it is pretty short compared to other plants but we would still need at least 5 months. Also winters could be an issue.” “If we can get to my shed I should be able to get the supplies to turn the area into a greenhouse with plastic tarps, hoses and some small tools.” Ripper said from the stairs as he had joined us. “That just leaves us to get around 6 months of food to feed our group. I know we still can’t cook mutant meat to be safe for consumption so we will have to sneak out of The Reserve to go raid some more of the further towns for food.” “We are surrounded, starved for food. We need to do something. Kyler how much can you carry for us?” “Not even close to enough. I would need to get a car to make this kind of trip and carry this load. I would probably also need to take another person to expedite the process.” “I can get you to at least my shed, and that should get you to at least access to one of The Reserve’s vans.” “Okay, Kyler, take Max and go get food. You can head to Farmer to the north, pick up some seed and food up there as well as gas. Ripper, you get your supplies from your shed while getting Kyler and Max to the vans and come back to help make up that greenhouse. I’ll get Jacob and Tom to help me fill the pool with dirt and Becca and Danielle you can work on the farming.” “Sounds good. We can get on the move tonight, our odds to avoid mutants are higher when the sun is down.” “We don’t have to worry about time of movement. I have a tunnel from here to my shed.” That night we planned to start the execution of the project. I spent the rest of that day with Becca in one of the 4 bedrooms in content silence. Max and I followed Tyler through the tunnel to his shed and got to the van with ease, we were told to give Titan updates on when we hit Farmer, were returning and when we got back to the shed over the CB-Radio so that we could keep updated. This shall end today’s update. We cleared out most of the residential area and now are working on rebuilding the cabins. The Flame keeps burning here in The Reserve. Keep it alive throughout the world.

The fighting has finally stopped. The bullets have ceased their flight. I’ve gone nearly insane. I need to write something to calm myself. My hope is to write once a day for the next month to steady myself and hopefully have the events that transpired here recorded. I guess the first thing I should write about is why we have had such radio silence. The Reserve was attacked. This wasn’t just any attack either. This was planned out. We were targeted. I hadn’t realized that there were still so many mutants throughout the world, and they are learning and evolving. I guess I shouldn’t be wholly surprised, seeing as I’m a walking example of just what mutants can become. Anyways, the assault began shortly after Titan’s rescue team returned from Michigan. Titan had called all the patrols in. We became quite relaxed when we were told that we wouldn’t be having guard duty or patrols anymore and it was well received. Our first few days were relatively uneventful. Then about a week after, all hell broke loose. Many of our guard towers were destroyed and the walls were being cut down. At first we thought it was a group of bandits trying to get in and steal supplies, but how wrong we were. The mutants started by coming over the bridge at the front of The Reserve. We easily fought off the first waves made up of mostly regular mutants. As we were fighting off the front door assault that was when we heard the first explosion. I looked to Titan who nodded and I bolted off to see what had happened. As I was on my way to the sound of the first explosion, more went off. From my vantage point in the sky I saw each watch tower slowly fall and mutants funnel through the openings that appeared throughout our walls. This was anything but good. I flew back down to Titan’s position. “WE NEED TO GET TO BENNETT NOW! OUR DEFENSES HAVE BEEN COMPROMISED! IM GOING TO GET THE NON-COMBATANTS FROM THE CABINS AND BEGIN THE BARRICADING.” I ran to my Jeep and drove to the cabins to see that Sydney had already started moving residents to Bennett. I started by opening my cabin to see Becca digging under the bed for something. “We need to go! Mutants are seconds from getting here.” Becca got up and thrust a briefcase in my hands. I looked at her in confusion and then she ran past me with a collection of backpacks and bags filled with unknown contents. After getting the residential area cleared of all non-combatants we drove to Bennett to find Titan, Max and Ripper already preparing the barricades. I got the rest of the group into the lodge and began the process of of laying wire and explosives around the perimeter. This is where I have to end my log for today, we begin the clearing the residential in an hour so that we can have more room for the ones that are left. I will check back in tomorrow to continue our story. For now stay safe and keep a light on.

Alright, good news! I have shelter and water and food. Bad news, I'm almost completely unarmed and I'm alone... Good news, my shelter is an old hangar with sturdy walls and planes! Bad news,The planes are effectively scrap... Good news... they won't make any noise? You know I was hoping that writing in a journal of sorts would help me figure out how to get out of my situation, not make me realize how absolutely screwed I am. I guess in the event anyone finds this I should explain who I am. I'm John Verdin, a now Ex-Engineer. I was a weapons designer for a time before all this crap broke loose. I've been surviving off of pure luck but I know that can't last much longer and I need to improve my conditions. After being holed up in this empty hangar for almost a week you would think I'd have come up with anything besides "Keep all the doors locked and stay quiet" I'm gonna start making a plan to get more supplies, but the Stalkers will most definitely kill me if I don't make it back before sunset.... God this is giving me a headache.

Sorry for that rant a little bit ago, Id like to explain to anyone still alive. It was all a set up and now that Ive taped up my hands from the bullets and stab wounds Id still like to talk to someone alive. Ive been getting worse and worse after I found my family, but I think I am ok to continue.

Its been a rough few years, and a lot of beating people to death... but I finally got some answers. Met a girl that was military and wanted out, I do not know why I still trust people in uniform but the way she spoke made me thing she was ok. She told me all of it. Population got too high and people needed to start losing lives faster. She went awol really fast when she understood that. It wasnt going to stop either.... Military killing civilians. They could eat a shit sandwich for all I care, I didnt mind helping their cause with doing what I have been for the past two years... But I really started to think about it...

Is that just the bullshit theyve been feeding her. Its not infected or contagious anymore? now its changed to the population is too high? What. The Fuck. Is this new found rage some kind of side effect from me finding my dead family or is something really going on? I have no Idea what to think. What do you people that are still around think?

Let me know so i dont keep talking to myself.

Lets just say ive learned a lot about myself. Fuck the sirens, fuck the protein shakes. fuck everyone that inst me. And fuck whatever is happening. That shithead I fed was setting me up, he was there too bait me into giving up my location. that doesn't matter though, he is dead and so is his platoon,the whole station died.

I was worth it, it was close to home. and when I saw that my whole family was "taken care of" I stopped caring.

I knew I had rage in me but I didnt know it was this much. When I broke free I saw the rotting bodies of my parents, grandfather. and little sister. I couldnt stop myself. youd think that the second someone gags on blood and stops breathing you would stop punching... but thats not the case anymore. Ive fought tooth and nail and have lost a lot of teeth and nails. Im not playing games anymore. I will do my worst and the only hope you have is to not be the last one in my sites. Fuck you and fuck your gun... and your knives, and your brass knuckles, and your sticks and you your bats. You are fucking mine now.

And you better pray I dont find you.

Where is the safe place? Ill man the fucking door. Is anyone still here?

all previous logs are under the name "I didnt know we had those sirens."

Click

...'Spose it was always--

Abrupt garbled coughing

Gunna' end up this way... knew that...

Crackling silence

Got 'ta know Death real well... I did--

Slow, labored, breathing

...Carol..

Garbled, unintelligible noises

...why... so... close..?

Click

The tape came to a screeching halt, the players inner mechanics grumbling loudly, like the stomach of some great beast. I looked at the corpse -- naught but bones and dust -- that I had found it by. I wondered how long it had been here, asleep in this cavern, before I'd found it.

Not much to scavenge, but an interesting find, for sure.

My eyes turned to the only other worthwhile part of the scene, an old worn leather hat. Emblazoned on it were the letters "AH", barely legible from age. I twirled it in my hands for a moment before placing it atop my head.

Perfect fit.

Crackling of a tape coming to life...

"To whom it may concern: consider this recording the last will and testament of me... Robert Goff. Goff, spelled with two 'f's. The cold is biting my fingers and has already claimed my nose. My house, all that I have owned and scavenged, is yours, dear visitor. Do not trouble yourself with the duty of burying my body. Leave me be. This is my favorite chair. I've spent many a day on it, watching the waters of Lake Champlain, before and after the war. There are a lot of memories here."

A gentle clicking noise...

"After a number of years just barely getting by, I think this world is no longer in need of me. I've done my time here, being a good husband and father, a respectable colleague... Know that you must keep hope in your heart, dear visitor. I won't be here for much longer, but don't let my passing demoralize you. I have come to terms with everything and I have confessed my sins. If you're religious, then pray. If not, look to the sky. We may be able to build back up to what we once were. Europe did it after the collapse of the Roman Empire. Surely we can do it again. This is..."

A gentle clicking noise...

"... just a hiccup."

A mechanical clicking noise, closer now...

"Pam, don't think I didn't go out before giving this an honest effort. I love you, dear, and I'll be with you and Jonathan soon. Take care, dear visitor."

End of the tape.

Side A

Umm, so I don't know how, but I am still alive outside of my bunker. I was at my mom's house in a neighboring town. It was like a few miles away, we heard it while watching TV. Luckily, my mom had a suit for this occasion. I just got back to my town. As I walked to my house, I realized I left the bunker door open. Dammit, I guess I will have to survive without a bunker and only rely on my wits. Well, umm, I guess I will try to make at least 1 log a day. See you tomorrow!

Side B

I'm alive! I can't believe it! I survived the bomb blast! I'm by myself, but I think I can survive. I only have food and water, so I guess I have to take limited rations every 5 days. I'll try to keep this constantly updated.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin - 'Home' Base

I wonder if anyone else used to wake up, randomly, and decide to drop everything to 'get away from it all'. To see the sights. To fulfill some promise they made to a friend long ago. It was probably easier back then. Cars. Highways. Lack of mutants. It's kinda enviable knowing how good we had it 4 years ago.

But I suppose now is a good time as any to start. When he was dying, and when I wasn't too busy crying in lieu of losing him, he made me promise that I would spread his ashes in California. Apparently his grandma did that to his grandpa, and he thought it was super romantic. I would've written it off as some brain-cells firing or something because we never even so much as left Wisconsin before... but I knew he was being serious. His grandparents and their own happy memories let him see the world in a different shade.

He was the one who recommended that we try to get a few roller coasters working from the ol' state fair, for our first date. The same fair his grandparents met at. Where some people saw destruction and devastation, he saw remnants of happier times, and the hope that anything could be revived with enough determination.

Sure enough, he got the damn thing to work, and we took a few spins around the old thing. Surprised it still worked after two years, but he was the electrical engineering student. Not me.

I think I owe him this much. It has been two years since he passed. Two years since I had to watch him burn and wait until there was nothing left of him, scoop him up in a small glass vial, and hold into it for dear life. Until today.

I guess this is my way of saying I need to let go.

I'm tired. I'm tired of being haunted by his ghost. I'm tired of having a pity party every month or so to the point I can't even get out of bed. I want this to end. And if that means I need to travel across the country and get rid of what is literally the last piece of him that remains, so be it.

Maybe that's what he wanted to say, back then. That when the time came, I should move on. At least that's what I tell myself.

I'm writing this entry in my journal. I ripped out the old 'woe-is-me' passages since this is supposed to be all symbolic or whatever. New page. The vial is sitting on top of the desk as I write this. I guess that's the first thing I'll pack. Not much else to pack, anyway, other than clothes and a can opener. I don't know if it's a bad idea to take only a few cans of food, but I'm sure there's some idiot out there who starved, being surrounded by cans without a can opener.

If I die and you happen to find this along with my body, please do me a huge favor and find the vial. There is no way I don't have it on me. Take the vial and go to California. Then dump its contents in the ocean.

You don't have to do it as soon as possible. Take your time. Or pass it along to someone who is headed in that direction. Or use this as an excuse to do something with your time. That's more or less what I'm doing.

I don't want to think about what happens when I finally finish this goal. I'll probably just sit there for a while. Or if I find a gun along the way, join him in that eternal country fair in the sky.

I hope I can run into more abandoned fairs along my route. I think those will be the only places I can sleep at comfortably.

//Is anybody out there?

I am completely alone.

//I need help.

There is no one to answer my messages, and allI was able to receive from the communications relay were some corrupted data files. They were worthless.

//Please.

The cat creature had completed its nest of electronics three weeks ago, and has not returned to it since then. I have been alone.

//Somebody answer me please anyone.

I couldn't even find any old messages on my communications relay. It seems that the devices that would broadcast any messages have since stopped.

//Is there no one left?

I had sent a message every night for a period of two weeks since I got the communications device working. But there had been no reply.

//Am I all that is left?

I started to send fewer and fewer messages every night, until I stopped sending them completely. What is the point when there is no answer?

//Someone. 
//Anyone.
//I can't be the last one.
//Please.

Instead, I have spent my time reworking the pit. Making it ready for me to re-submerge myself back into the nothing. I will have set it so that when I get a message, if a message ever comes, to wake me from the nothing. To wake me so that I will have hope. So that I can let others know that there are other people out there. That we are not the last ones.

It is ready, Even though I am not. I have decided to leave with one final message, sent out into the air, into the great beyond that I have not seen. Maybe others will fare better than I have. Maybe the others remember, well I just succumb to the nothing, but nothing that will be, is, and has always been me. For like the nothing, there is no point or purpose to my existence. I am no one.

//To whoever reads this
//Do not give up hope.
//There are others like you out here
//Others like me.
//Save who you can.
//I am beyond saving
//But I can still help you.
//I am unimportant. I am no one. 

//I am Nothing.

One can never realize just how alone they are, until they realize that they have never actually met a person, who is not one that they can remember. Due to my lack of memory, I do not know a single person's face. I have not even seen my own, as the water in the pit is non-reflective, and there are no mirrors to be found here. I honestly think that it does not really matter, Because there's no one around to judge my looks, and even if they were I would be too glad to see another human being then to worry about what they think of my face.

The cat creature, which I have come to call cat does not seem to be bothered by my presence in the least. I have talk to it and it has seem to listen to me, in the way that I believe most animals would when they hear noises. When I first spoke to it, it paused and turned to look at me. I stop speaking and it resumed its task of arranging wires into a suitable nest. Once I had begin speaking again, the cat had stopped and looked at me again and listened to me until I was finished speaking, and then it resumed its work.

It has been three days since I have first seen the cat and it has returned every night, only to leave in the morning. During those few days, the cat is somehow got its paws on a sort of solar panel, which I have set up in the window to charge a car battery which it also brought back. When I had first spoken to the cat I had asked it for a means to provide myself with electricity, Not expecting it to come back with something that I could use. The feline was so corteous to even have left the battery closer to The bars of my cell in orientation that made it easy to slide through.

I was successfully able to charge the battery using the solar panel, and I have hooked it up to my makeshift communication apparatus.

But I am afraid to test it.

What if all of humanity has just gone on, continuing their lives as I live in this horrible cell, with only a presumably mutated cat to keep me company?

What if… What if I am the only one left, the only human alive?

I do not feel so sure anymore about welcoming death. I feel like I would rather continue to live another day even if it is in the cell.

The only way to tell, is to test and see.

As always the thoughts about the horrible nothing are my only constant companion.

I have found what has been bringing me the broken electronics. I do not know exactly what it is, but it looks like a cross between a bobcat and a mountain lion. Although, now that I think of it, neither of those have ever been naturally purple.

Nor do they make nests.

I believe there have been some sort of bird that uses whatever it can find to make a nest, which mean clued wires and such, but this cat-thing seems to like arranging electronics that it has found in a circular fashion around the mess of wires and electrical scrap. It does not seem to mind when I reach through the bars to take a component or a wire, only if I get close to it does it hiss and yowl at me.

As soon as the sun rises it leaves its nest to go out, but is soon as the sun is gone from my window it returns with more parts for its nest.

From my someone limited supply of electronics, I have been able to create some sort of broadcasting device. It is what I spend my time on now that I have nothing else to do. Hopefully soon the cat will come back with a power source of some sort, and I can finally see if there is anyone out there, or if it is just me, alone.

Either way, I have no way out. I have contemplated drowning myself in the pit where I had awoken, but I cannot think of any reason to do so.

For some reason, I think it might be a better idea to talk to the cat, As it is a living being like myself, And I really do not care if it doesn't understand what I say. I think I will start off by telling about the nothing, the dreadful, horrible nothing.

Who knows? Maybe it will talk back.

It was dark.

That was the first thing that I remember, that there was no light around me.

The second thing that I remember was that there was no sound, no noise whatsoever.

It was completely silent, save for the sound of heavy breathing which I carelessly assumed was coming from myself.

The third thing that I remember... yes, the third thing was the lack of feel. My addled brain could not detect anything touching me from above below or even from the sides. I could not feel myself breathing.

I do not know how long I sat in the state, the state of the in between, where there is nothing. Forever nothing. Because when there is nothing, it lasts until the end of time and then some. It goes on until it is infinity, but also it remains at zero, for that is what nothing is, is it not?

There is no meaning to the nothing. It was just there, like the sky during the day, and the stars at night.

I feel as if I were to ask someone, if I were ever to meet someone, that is, what the nothing would look like, I feel that they would probably say that it would be black.but I would have to see if that is untrue, because black is a thing and nothing, is not.

It is the absence of being, The absence of a state of existence.

Yet, here I am thinking about it as a thing. Attempting to describe it as something, When in reality it was never there, Never existed.

I have reason to believe that it was the nothing that made me forget who I was before. That it was the nothing that made me even care who I was before. There is only the now, The time after the nothing.

And this brings me to where I am now. In the single cell of a jail, somewhere.

Locked in a room with no food and no water other than that it comes from the rain in the rats that run into the cell. I have not seen another living thing besides them in the past few days since I have awakened from the nothing. I had came to in a cold steel pit full of freezing water, naked as the day I was born, whenever that was.

It was three feet deep and had been filled right to the very top, or at least looked that way from the rust along the upper edges. When I had attempted to drink the water and had a metallic taste and when I had swallowed I had immediately emptied the contents of my stomach into the pit, Turning the water from clear to a dirty shade of brown. From that experience I now assume that the water is still unsafe to drink, but the rain that collects in the corner of the sellers enough to keep me, at least for the past week.

I feel like I should be wondering how I know these things, like what a week is, or what the color brown looks like. But, for some reason, it doesn't really matter. It will not further occurrences you Asian to wonder why I am in the cell or how I even know that it is a cell. I only need to survive.

I woke up this morning, if you could still be considered morning if the sun was already halfway across the sky, to find that someone, or something, had left a pile of broken electronics just outside my cell. I could identify three of the old iPhones, as well as a few computer monitors and a bunch of wires.

I was unable to fit the bulky monitors through the gaps of the bars in my cell.

I have electronics, but no electricity.

The wire, I can use to make a trap for the rats.

And if no rats come, I will soon waste away, becoming the nothing that I had once been.

And that shall be a relief.

God is great. I must remind myself, because the world is shit. Truth is meaningless. The world is shit, so I lie. Promising a better tomorrow is for those who waste. I’ll hope for small miracles. I’ll hope God provides clean water that won’t make me shit out a kidney. I’ll hope God provides a proper meal, something that’s not stringy or dry and won’t make my stomach rot. God is great. Mantras are meaningless. The world of Gods is no more. Man was enough of a beast to murder his maker. God is great but the world he created could’ve been made my one of the creature’s he murdered… if he let us take one last shit.

I bask in the sun through a busted ceiling. I’ve only ever lasted five minutes in the sun, before the blisters form and the itching becomes uncontrollable. I wear Arjuna the Savior’s Death Mask and Shroud to protect me. Arjuna himself blessed both articles before his departure, as well as the ceremonial dagger of ‘The Laughing Buddha’. I’m the final monastic legacy of the Buddha.

Arjuna believed I was the Laughing Buddha, but I never liked the title. I preferred being ‘guard to the master’. When he left, our mission was to fall apart. We followed his word perfectly, but the master is still out there somewhere. He gave us these conditions. We’re not allowed to find him, until we complete these tasks. Our tasks are our own.

I mark my territory with the blood of the forsaken. God took his children to a better place. He left the sinners to me. Arjuna gave me the photo and claimed it had been delivered unto him by ‘Tyfael of the Spring’, who promised him a better tomorrow. I must cleanse the earth. It starts with ‘Rasheka the Red’. His is a face that no one would photograph. I have to move it between my fingers to be sure my eyes aren’t playing tricks. His is a hideous face full of craters that ooze with a red pus. His is a swollen nose of hundreds of pimples piling on top of each other to make him as disgusting as possible.

I pity his harem. Mutants of the Coprulu Sector are known to enslave human women and impregnate them to fortify their ranks. Anyone who could fuck him deserves all the riches left in this shit-heap of a universe. Keeping a person as a slave… we deserve to be wiped off the planet. His rancid penis violating some desperate girl roaming the wastelands of Eastern Coprulu is cause enough for his execution.

His is a hideous face, but it’s nothing compared to the face of the planet. A sonic boom from the sun. Everyone heard it, even the youngest. The survivors remember where they were when the sun fired a missile of radiation at our planet and left it a featureless ball of flame. The world fell apart fast. Society lost its meaning. In no time at all, we lost everything.

A black bug, whose body is long and thin, flutters its lethargic wings. A pointy needle is its nose, which it uses to pierce your flesh, suck out your blood and inflate its stomach. They’re funny looking when they’re over-inflated, even if it’s with my blood. They inflate to about the size of my fist and can barely flap their wings. The Rogue Usurper is known to fly like a dart thrown to its target, unless it’s out on reconnaissance. They travel in groups of hundreds, but always send out a few scouts when they need to learn more about their target. They Rogue Usurper is a bastard child of mosquitoes and are competent hunters in the Coprulu Wasteland. They’re great at setting traps.

When I still belonged to the fledgling remains of the human race, a group along the outskirts of the Nocrulu sector hunted us for thirteen days. You could hear the buzzing all night, but when hundreds of Rogue Usurpers come together it sounds like echoing voices whispering a secret wisdom that you’ll never be able to decipher.

I smash my fist into the Rogue Usurper and wash him off with a loose bit of fabric. All blood is toxic, but the Usurper leaves a permanent tag on those who harm their brothers. You have only a few seconds to clean it or they’ll hunt you down like a dog. I wipe it clean and walk toward the back of the building, before I hear the rattling. The Usurper is a formidable enemy. Once you make an enemy out of them, they’ll hunt you forever. I continue toward the back of the building, but the rattle continues.

It’s hard to tell what this building was before it turned to shit. Everything fell apart, including the legacy of the human race in that long forgotten beforetime.

The door breaks open and a scourge of Usurpers floods the doorway like a plague of locusts. I run up the metal stairs, but they’re everywhere. I reach into my bag and grab the last bottle of ‘Rancix’, an affordable consumer poison meant for mosquitoes in the beforetime. I press my finger against the button and spray. The can blasts noxious fumes into their faces. Usurpers fall all around me, except for one that dive-bombs his pointy nose into my flesh. I scream, as I slam my palm against him. His blood is everywhere. I panic and scrape my flesh clean, making the wound all the more infected. My heart races. I’m swinging and spraying the bottle of poison to clear a path away from the bugs, which flutter and fall around me.

Panic gets the best of me and I leap over the side of the railing. I crash against a pile of tables stacked on top of each other. A few Usurpers are still buzzing. I know I should kill them, but my blood is in question. I need to press ‘Ammonia Salve’ into the wound or risk infection. I’m not prepared to cut off my arm… not yet god damn it.

The remaining Usurpers buzz, but are dazed by the poison. I pull out the salve and see an old-timey ‘fly-swatter’. I take that as well. When one of the Usurpers gets too close I swing. His body explodes into a gooey mess against the ground. I keep it close, as I apply the salve. The blood is dried, forming a barrier to protect the poison. I pull out my hunting knife and lighter. It hasn’t worked in a few days, but I try anyway. I do it again and again, until it finally comes to life. I sear the edge of my blade, before digging it into the wound. I scrape the mess of clotted blood out of the way, before applying the salve.

Ammonia Salve cools before it scorches everything it touches. It feels great, before it burns like hell. It cools the immediate advance of the infection and kills it. For the first time in a while, I’m at ease. One final Usurper flies around me. I take up the fly swatter, eyeing him up, as he closes in on the wound. They can smell blood. I crush him with the fly-swatter.

My home has become compromised. Such a shame. The basement of this shit-hole is always cold. We sleep like rats now, in sewers and basements… really, wherever we can. Mutants control the sewers, but if you offer them a fair trade they’ll let you hang around for a night. They seemed so eager to take control of the sewers, as if they’d been planning this for centuries. I guess we all should’ve banked on the failure of the human race.

I lost the fucking signal and I'm missing an arm because I chopped off my damn arm due to the fungus on it. I see more outside my window and the door hasn't been open for days I'm almost out of food, I'm so tired. bye, I'm going to get some sleep.

genady aleksandrovich

i decided to start writing in this journal i found on the side of the road. formerly owned by an art student named susan wilkes. she was a pretty good poet apparently.

my german shep, mikhail, has been panting for the past six miles. we desperately need something to eat and drink. the little towns up north are much poorer for the lack of supplies now that civilization has collapsed, but otherwise they are thankfully pretty untouched. the fact that a lot of old native folks remember how to live off the land certainly helps.

fort simpson is only two miles north now and the

i stopped writing that sentence when i got blindsided by something hungry. i don't know what happened. whatever in gods name this bloody lump of flesh is, it's dead now i hope. i passed out from the sight of it after having lashed out without thinking. however in hell this sorry thing made it this far, i don't know and i don't want to know

I remember when the song first entered my ears, the beauty of it's rhythm; the song of heartbreak. I remember when the song finally ended, releasing me from it's hold. I know that we can't listen to these songs anymore, every survivor does. In honor of those lost, they told me. Bullshit, i tell you, there's something in this music, something old an ancient residing in those CDs

It calls to me and I must act. Gunfire in the distance; i crash into an alleyway. Garbled nonsense, garbled nonsense is the only thing i can hear as i crave for the sweet familiar noise of the pop song.

"I am the first one" I mumble as I cup my face, the mutants sniff the air.

I keep dancing on my own

I smash a bottle on the floor

I keep dancing on my own

I aim my weapon at the mutants

I keep dancing on my own

I fire

I wake up, the mutants dead, ive been bit.

2/28xx help I just noticed that little mushrooms are growing on my arm what are these they are bright green just like the one I shot... oh god it infected me they move and twist