Hey, I’m (16)& I don’t really have much friends my age because I’m non-verbal& I use communication devices/ASL. My autism is the reason that it’s hard for me to speak and it really hinders my ability to form relationships with others. I just want you to tell me if it’s ok that I’m this way. I feel so alone. It’s like no one out there accepts me for who I really am and it’s tough. I have so many hobbies and interests that I just wish I can share to someone but every time I try to make a connection, I always scare people away. It’s like no one has the patience to deal with me or at least try to understand me. I’m not a freak just because I use another way to communicate that might be different than others. I’m human, why can’t people just see that? I hate being autistic. I wish I was normal.

I'm an older brother (afab) of 3 younger kids. It took me a very long time to even find out I had siblings because two were born after my dad threw me away and moved to Hampshire and one I had only met when I was a toddler. But even though I'm not around them, I have those instincts. Even when I was a little kid, I felt the need to nurture and roughhouse. As I got older, I was told by people that I was like an older sibling or a parent. But it's taxing, because I developed a hero complex at a very young age and now I can't stop burying myself in research, trying to find ways to help everyone. To save the world. Sometimes I feel like that academia painting, like I have so many arms outstretched but so little reach. And it's become extremely unhealthy. I've put others needs before mine most of the time, especially in traumatic situations and it always comes to bite me in the ass later. I intellectualize my feelings instead of actually feeling them and I don't know how to stop because I am just so stuck in my head. My grades were failing at one point because I would spend every school day, all school day trying to talk people out of suicide online. I have so many medical lists that if you were to look at my journal, you'd probably think I was fucking insane, that I was just some lunatic scribbling a bunch of shit about genomes and Alzheimers and psychology. I started writing the lists when I had my first ever psych ward visit. Or maybe it was earlier than that. I can't remember anymore. All I can remember is a fuckton of alphabetical lists of disorders and diseases and pathogens you've probably never even heard of, but I have because that's all I ever do all day. I sit in front of my computer, hunched over to the point where my posture has gone completely notre dame, and look up all different sorts of medical-related shit. And then by the end of the day, I'm exhausted and I feel empty but I can't stop because I have dug a hole so deep for myself that I know I will never be able to get out of it, because my only purpose in life is to save and help and rescue and comfort and nurture until I draw my last breath.

So be nice to your older siblings, because you never know how it might feel to be one.

Never had a brother figure who could give me life advice. Wish I could meet folks in this subreddit who could not only motivate me, but I could also consult during times of crisis or confusion. Also, I could use a friend. Maybe this is the wrong place to post this, but here we are.

I (24F) have an older brother (33M) who has always been very emotionally distant from me. I used to be really annoying as a little kid (even I recognise that now) but growing up, I'd annoy him in some way and he'd call me names like 'dumbass' or something similar. In reality, I just wanted him to like me so badly. I desperately wanted that ideal of a protective yet playful older brother but he was always very cold to me.

By the time I was 9, he was out of the house at uni and I didn't really ever hear from him. We got closer for a few months after he graduated and was at home applying to jobs. We'd talk after our mom had gone to bed and I'd just ask him about himself. I really treasure that time. He got a job in a different city and moved away soon after, and it saddened me, knowing that our window to actually get close as siblings closed as a result.

Nowadays, we talk less than a handful of times a year and his answers when I ask him about his life are always curt. He's in a different country now, with a wife and a baby. When I ask him about how he's doing or about his family, he'll just respond with 'they're good.' I try to buy my nibling presents for their birthday and Christmas and he'll thank me but that's it. No pictures, no updates, nothing about the baby is sent to me at all unless I specifically ask for it. I still haven't met them yet even. I doubt he'd even want me to visit.

A couple years back when we were visiting home at the same time, I asked him straight up if he cared about me or my life at all. He responded with, 'No. Not really.' It stung really badly.

I just want to know why he seems so indifferent to my existence... What did I do wrong? I'm trying to have a relationship now by sending gifts to his kid in the hopes that when I have children one day, they can know each another. But it's so painful when I'm the only one trying. I'd feel bad if I stopped sending gifts because I do love my nibling even if I've never met them, but at this point, it just might be easier to pretend that I don't have a brother anymore. I'd at least be able to move on, be happy, and not feel like there's something wrong with me. All I wanted was an older brother who actually cares about my existence and it hurts so much knowing that even that was too hard for him.

Dear bro (26M),

I miss you, but I don't know if I should tell you that.

I’m seeing you tomorrow, but I fear it might be the last time I see or talk to you, given how we didn't talk all month when we used to talk nearly everyday. I think telling you about my sadness will only stress you out, and it might irreparably ruin what’s left of our friendship, so I will continue to suffer in silence for now and wrestle with the choice of whether to bring this up.

In the short time we’ve known each other, you’ve become like a younger brother to me. The distance I now sense between us simply reinforces we are not as close as we used to be. Even though you won’t admit it, I know that our misunderstanding 6 months ago still affects you. The last time I apologized 4 months ago, you told me I should stop beating myself up over it and that this is just a bump in the road for us. Although I’ve stopped saying sorry, it’s hard for me to forgive myself and believe you when things are not back to normal. To keep the peace, I’ve been pretending like I’ve been ok with how things currently are, even though it tears me apart inside.

They say that grief is the price we pay for love. I am grieving not only for the good memories of our past but also for the memories in the future we might never get to make.

• I miss talking to you regularly throughout the week and between our monthly hangouts.
• I miss the times you would message me for advice or be there for me when I needed yours.
• I miss getting the random update about something that happened in your day or laughing at a funny meme you sent.
• I miss the spontaneous late night burger runs you would invite me to after you got off from work.
• I miss the deep talks we would have in my car, the birthplace of our friendship which you now refuse to ride in.
• I will miss the opportunity to go to New York with you, the bros trip we wanted to have but never got to do in the end.
• Altogether, I just miss the friend who became a brother to me – I miss... you.

I don’t know if this friendship can ever go back to the way it was because I don’t know if that’s something you still want. As much as I want to talk about this with you, I don’t know if I will ever get straight answers because I know you struggle with communication during times of conflict - not just with me, but with everyone. I also don’t want to push you away even more. So here I am, wondering what to do next and hoping you won’t bail on me tomorrow. I miss the fun times we used to have, and I don’t want to spoil what might be my last memory of you. So as usual, I will just put on the mask and smile, even though I am bleeding inside.

Sincerely,

Your bro (30M)

I (33f) did it. Even though mom and dad were too busy playing with the dog or gossiping to be proud of me, even though I'm juggling a lot.

I got first chair trumpet in my local orchestra.

I made a casserole for my neighbor who broke my leg.

I beat a deadline that was on my neck for a while.

I'm feeling so stressed out, though. I need someone to be proud of me. Please, can you offer me some words of encouragement?

just feeling lost :(

I am a 32 years old unmarried, childless man and I am currently feeling lost in life. Therefore, and facing some embarrassment at first, I picked up the courage to seek professional support from a therapist for the first time in my life. Nonetheless, I've decided to post here in order to get additional advice from this community.

I think that my current feeling of being lost (or left behind) in life mainly stems from two circumstances: mild bullying which resulted in the inability to fully experience my teenage years if and when I compare them with the ones experienced by my peers and the loss of my father due to cancer when Covid-19 was ravaging in 2020. The first circumstance, in fact, turned me from a quite extroverted and carefree boy into an introverted, overthinking and resentful man while the second one wreaked havoc in my everyday life as I abruptly lost one of the most important people I was attached to in a phase in which everyone is supposed to settle down both personally and professionally. Cancer is basically like having to deal with a time bomb where you cannot see the timer and this puts you face to face with the precariousness of life.

Those events profoundly affected me, as I practically spent my teenage years most of the time alone focusing on my studies and these last years trying to settle down professionally facing great difficulties in both dealing with people (as I work in Sales & Distribution) and life itself. There are days in which I feel completely absorbed by what I am doing and therefore I manage to get things done as expected without having to deal with what my therapist calls "intrusive thoughts" and others in which I feel overwhelmed by a hurricane of negative thoughts and sensations about myself and the future ahead of me that make me cry silently on my pillow as soon as I get home at the end of the day.

I deeply regret the fact of not having been able to experience love in its blossoming, intense and raw nature during my teenage years, unlike my peers, the fact that those times and hangouts will never come back again thus leaving a deep scar inside my heart and lastly, the fact that I am very often going to be at unease in social settings when acquaintances/colleagues etc. discuss about their family, children and career prospects. At the same time I also drastically reduced the amount of time I spend on social media as people just seem to share the good things in their lives, but I always try to take any opportunity to hang around my friends and family members, even if some of them are starting a family and this makes me feel at unease as I previously explained. Going out for dinner/ a movie/ a play at the theatre all by myself is too much for me to handle and, quite frankly, humiliating at the moment. Casually going out for some drinks or travelling instead, are more manageable activities but come with some strain as well.

I'd like to become more optimistic and resilient in order not to find myself alone and hopeless as I reach maturity and retirement. What advice would you give me? Thank you for your help and please forgive me if I made some mistakes but I am not a native English speaker.

Older bro of 30 here offering advice and mentoring should anyone like some. If this post is still up feel free to DM.

What pleasure do you get when I tremble? Does it stroke your ego when I jolt and flinch as you raise your voice?

Why do you compare me with our dad— the very dad who physically and verbally abused me, and SA-d me, who ruined our childhood and forced us into being adults? Why do you never take my side when mother and I argue, when I'm baby-sitting an adult and entertaining her narcissistic desires while I bleed? Can adults never be wrong? What blinds you from seeing my perspective?

Do you know how it feels to be cornered at the edge of a cliff with two beasts desperately pushing me to my demise? When did I become responsible for your inflated ego?

Why do you and mother always gang up on me at the study table, hovering over me as I try to study in the blurry haze of tears, scolding me at the top of your lungs— how I'm the worst sister and daughter to ever exist and I should be ashamed of myself, and how I shouldn't have existed in the first place? I don't get it, you asked for my existence, didn't you?

I thought with all the roaring screams and the destroyed doors from dad, all the sleepless nights as I jerk awake from the sounds, it ought to have been obvious. I looked for a father figure in you, someone who would take care of me and protect me. I tried to find solace in your presence. But I can't be a good sister to a bad brother, a good daughter to a bad mother. Now I am left with nothing but a cold fear and a boiling resentment towards you.

I hate you, brother. I hate you so much, it hurts. It burns and stings when you see me as an object to control. I never asked to be the second child, but if we switched lives I would never lay a finger on you or raise my voice. Yet you became the very thing we despise. I liked you more than either parent. I trusted you, dammit. Who taught you how to love?

How dare you demand an apology, when I did nothing wrong, Do you honestly believe control will get you anywhere? When you're left to your own devices, and there's no one that you hadn't pushed away, how does it feel, brother? Aren't you the adult? Have you heard of cognitive empathy? So, why do you scream when I'm capable of listening?

Did you ever consider, even remotely, that I am also a human capable of feeling rage?

Lower your voice and answer me.

I have 2 older sisters (the age gap between me and them is 7/8 years) and a younger sister. But I just wish I had an older brother because maybe then he would protect me, maybe I'd feel like I have someone to rely on, maybe he'd comfort me when I'm sad, maybe I'd have vented to him. But maybe in the end I'm the problem. I'm the one who doesn't let ppl get too close to me. So I don't really have the right to talk but it just hurts.

My 2nd oldest sister kinda tried to become like that but it's just kinda too late, I don't feel comfortable enough opening up to her.

And I know not all brothers are like that but some are. I also know It's a little selfish to wish for that because I basically just want them for emotional support. But I just see vids of brothers like that online and it just makes me sooo jealous.

I'd also say that I'm kinda like that to my little sister. I didn't protect her and I regret that, but at the same time she feels comfortable with me, she vents to me and she trusts me. So I'm glad that I could help her a bit. But why don't I have someone like this?

I also know there's no solution for this but it just hurts so I'm just venting

Background: We would have finished up our project car the weekend before, one to take on long camping trips. This weekend would be the trial run. I’m thinking a mid 2000’s Lexus GX (body on frame but really reliable) with steel bumpers, oversized off-road tires, a winch and mounts for our kayaks on roof. Like this https://www.treadmagazine.com/vehicles/suvs/off-road-lexus-gx-470/

Friday: We head out after work on Friday and make it to the camping spot with time to get camp set up before nightfall and build a big fire to start grilling steak. Head down to the lake after dinner. No lights anywhere close so as your eyes adjust you can see the edge of the spiral galaxy above us. We go for a late night swim, and discuss philosophy and horse around until it’s time to dry off and get a good nights sleep, enjoying the fresh breeze and the smell of campfires in the air. Embrace our masculinity and the feeling of being in nature.

Saturday: One of my favorite parts of camping is wearing up when it’s still cool and crisp in the morning, dew on the leaves. Get out of the tent blurry eyed and have a shiver, piss and make breakfast in a jacket while things warm up and the sun starts to glow through the trees. Its nice tag teaming breakfast and getting it together so we can start off on our hike before it gets into the heat of the day. Bros are awesome to have to double check backpacks and have as a backup.

Set off together from camp, low near the lake and climb up the mountain as the sun burns off the morning mist. Going from light jackets to tanks as the sun hits us through the forest canopy. Make it to the summit outlook in time for lunch and have conversations just bros talk about. Wind coming up the side of the mountain, the breeze on your chest hair and cooling us down. Share stores as we make our way back down, climbing over fallen trees and discussing what to make for dinner. Get back and hang up our sweat soaked gear and get out my camp cookbook for pro bro on the go outdoor cooking. (The one I use https://www.amazon.com/Campout-Cookbook-Inspired-Recipes-Cooking/dp/1579657990/ref=sr_1_8?crid=2K05VPY75DZ89&keywords=campfire+cookbook&qid=1661816467&sprefix=campfire+cookbook%2Caps%2C124&sr=8-8)

After getting our protein fix, the wind changes and we feel the rain coming, toss our gear off the line into the tent and take an early night, exhausted, aching legs, musky and manly. The rain takes care of the fire for us as we enjoy the sound of it hitting the tent fly. Nothing quite like that sound, even better than a tin roof, especially for going to sleep by. Its nice having only guys out there, you don’t have to worry about nagging from skipping a shower or the other little things guys naturally do on trips like this. Just don’t forget to lock up the food to keep the bears away. But two bros can take care of ourselves.

Sunday: Wake up, sore from hiking all day previous, but enjoying that slow stretch and sore feeling that you only get from hard days like that. I give a good rubdown if you need and we get ready for the morning. Pack the cooler and head down to the water, spend the morning fishing and catch enough to make an early lunch to give us energy for spending the rest of the day doing a kayaking loop around the lake. Teaming breaks in the water under overstretched trees and having a drink with some fist bumps. I love the feeling of the pump I get from kayaking that long and hard. Exhausted after a long day we make quick work of the campsite packing and head home. Good thing we have a camp vehicle just for this now, as after all that we are musky, muddy dudes and don’t have to worry about messing up the daily drivers.

Send me a DM or comment below if that sounds like you.

I need advice and comfort. I am so tired of feeling broken. I relapsed again and my little brother almost saw the cuts. I just needed a release but now I'm stuck and guilty. I think something is wrong with me because I liked seeing the blood. I'm scared and need help.

Today my (25f) boyfriend (25m) broke up with me. It wasn't a long relationship. Just three months.

He taught me, that I am allowed to be me with him. That it is okay, that I am not a perfectly stable, mentally healthy person. We could just be us with each other. But he recognized, that his feelings for me aren't romantic anymore, after the first phase of seeing everything through the pink glasses passed. It is better that way and I know that. The last few weeks and especially the last ten days were really hard and full of anxiety, pain and depression. That's over now since I now know, that the relationship is definitely over.

I'm proud of myself for how I reacted. I called my friends and family and didn't stop calling until I had a place to go so I didn't need to go to my place. (We were in his shared flat) I'm with my parents now. It's so good to be safe here. And I had an important realization. For nearly a year, I lived in a constant mode of fighting for everyone and everything (which started after my last, much worse breakup in May last year). My first thought after the break up today was, that I'm so tired of fighting. I don't want to fight anymore. I just want to be. I just don't want to prove anything to anyone anymore. I am enough and I deserve people, who love me unconditionally. People for whom I don't need to fight to stay in my life.

But the break up of course hurts. It hurts so so much and I'm crying my eyes out. Please, I really could use some loving words, Bro

Context

I (26 M) have always been kinda the hes your problem child of my family, and the oldest one of my 5 siblings. Given Ive never gotten along with my younger siblings, I always wanted an Older Brother in my life I could bond with, hang out with, get life advice from, etc.

Hell, even just bonding with me over my interests and hyperfixations. Particularly, Video Games and Writing. Also Disney and Pixar movies (Really depends which ones, big plus if you love Onward!)

Aside from that, it should be added I do have social anxiety at times. Plus, im an Aspie (Aspergers Syndrome for those curious)

Im not exactly perfect. Then again, I dont wanna be. I just wanna chill and eat Cinnamon Rolls.

..Damn that last part was lame, I know 🤣

Thats all I can think to say for now o.o now if youll excuse me, Im gonna go play Video games 👀

I've been dealing with ADHD, anxiety, Auditory Processing Disorder,ED, ( I'm extremely neurodivergent). I am starting to realize that I have not felt confident in years. now I Just feel worthless. I just want to feel pretty and loved

Happy Christmas Eve and Merry Christmas to all the Bros and helpful people here!! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

How are you all feeling? Hopefully your day is going well!! ❤️

I really appreciate this subreddit and even though I don't post much, I enjoy reading it and I'm glad it's here!! Thank you for everything you do, and I hope everyone has a very nice, cozy, relaxing Christmas!! ❤️ 🎄 🎁☃️ ❄️

This is strange but I am a 29F in need of an older brother. I'm the eldest in my family and have always wanted someone older than me. Apparently I have older siblings as well as younger but they want nothing to do with me...so I'm by myself.

I'd love to have someone to talk to, maybe not every day but most days... Someone who would listen and share similar interests to me. Tell me when I'm being a butthead and take me under their wing. Someone who likes reading and video games and will tease me about all my stupid theatre stuff and school things.

I don't know. I'm grasping at straws. I'm lonely. If you need an obnoxious little sister to bond with, I'm here.

i have two sisters. we are not versy close. that's why have always wondered what it's like to have a brother. it definitly gets lonely when you're the only guy. and i have my dad but i'm not close to him. i want someone at home to discuss things with. have deep conversations and stuff. i'm on my own most of the time. i get sad

Do such men even exist ?

More info about me:

i have narcissistic parents and i didn't have a normal life. I was always grounded so it wasn't possible for me to date people. I might be able to start dating soon for the first time ever in my life. This is why I am looking for advice.

( i have also posted in r/DadForAMinute )

growing up, my parents were really shitty so I'm no contact with them, i'm partially in contact with my brother but he's really not much better. When we were young we got along fine, we weren't best friends but we were still good with each other in general but in his teenage years he started becoming more and more like my parents. Now I'm 25 and struggling to make friends, I wish I could just have a brother who would be there when I need someone to talk to outside of my daily life.

My twin and disabled brother and I grew up under abuse in a toxic household. My mom is a narcissist, control-freak, and ultra toxic.

I protected myself by studying away from the house and moving abroad but he is left alone with her and dependent on her. We would protect each other when we were kids but I notice recently he developed the habit of throwing under the bus so that she thinks he's on her side. An active defense mechanism I think. Though it hurts, I understand. We can no longer speak freely as I don't know what information will reach her.

I need to speak with him. "Bro, I just want you to know that I think of you everyday and that what she tells you about me is not true. I haven't abandoned you. I just need to protect myself and try to heal."

So me and my brother don’t get along, I mean me and all my other siblings doesn’t get along and I have hard time getting with them and talking because my parents has been overly controlling of me and my grades and school.. I just wish were able to understand each other without name calling or fighting you know i love him but he’s like my parents and I’m sick of any of their problems and fighting them

This is just a stream of consciousness. I don't know what, if anything, I'm expecting.

Being the oldest had advantages, I'm not going to pretend that wasn't the case. It also came with a lot of challenges that I think you all didn't go through.

I have walked on eggshells and kept them intact, because I was the one Mom chewed out when things went wrong. So I learned to try to keep them from going wrong. I still do that in all my relationships today, I apologize before someone can be upset. I'm critical of everything I do because if it isn't perfect or at least very good I worry about the criticism I'm going to get at best.

You are good brothers, I promise that I love you all. We get along fine, even though we disagree about so many things. Leaning on each other to sure up the others' weaknesses.

I know that I'm the family disappointment on so many levels. They can pretend to be proud or accepting, but we all know where I fall in the pecking order. I could care less about sports, I'm a nerd, the family IT, the liberal, and I can't even imagine what other things you could classify me as. But I know you care. So thank you for that.

I wish I had been better growing up. I wasn't kind, gentle, or even friendly a lot of the time. I should have tried to be more interested in the things you were. I was too focused on myself. I'm sorry.

When I came to you all, wanting to have a conversation with Mom about the drinking, I know what the answers would be. You all have more at stake if that goes south than I do, but it still hurt. Asking you to stand up to both of them with me remains one of the hardest and largest things I've asked of anyone. It is something you can all hold over my head for the rest of our days and I hope we never reach a state where you even threaten it.

Again, I'm sorry and I love you. You've all grown up to be better men than me.

My crush and I met on vacation. We hung out for a couple of days, but we had a connection. My feelings for him grew over the course of those days, he caught feelings instantly. The second day we hung out, he was really shy talking to me. We met other people our age at the hotel and hung out with them. One night, when I wasn't there, he told everyone that he liked me. He was drunk. Everyone told me the next day what he said.

I was so excited. I never had a guy like me before. I went up to him and asked him his feelings. He told me he had a girlfriend. A few minutes later, he texted one of our friends asking why they told me. He cut off all contact with me. He waited several weeks to reject my Instagram request. I knew he really did have a girlfriend, because why else would he say no?

They broke up two months later. Days after they broke up, he started looking at my social media all the time. I know it's normal to do that, but it's been two years. And he still looks at my social media everyday. Keep in mind, we don't follow each other. I know he has a decent social life, but he still finds enough time to stalk my social media.

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My crush’s relationship hadn’t been going so well, and I met him two months before it ended. I didn’t know he was in a relationship, and I didn’t realize he was into me until a few months after they broke up. Regardless, it’s clear that there was still genuine love between them.

He posted a Spotify about ten months after the two of them broke up. She had just gotten into another relationship. He posted a playlist on his Spotify. This playlist was made exactly a year and three days after he and I met. All of the songs on there are romantic. It’s over eight hours long, and there are some songs that seem like they might be dedicated to me, and some to her. Some that seem about her are “Breakup” “Your Kisses”. Some that seem about me are “English Breakfast” (I’m English) “London” (I’m also from London), and “Vacation” (we met on vacation).

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I am gonna end my life on Feb 15.

I have seeked help, had my first session last week. I am under meds fkr depression and anxiety. I have confronted my parents, but they being old fashioned conventional are still giving me a hard time accepting the fact that I am in depression. I have run out of emotional and mental energy to make them (my father to be specific) understand that I am depressed. He sure loves me a lot, cooks tasty dishes for me, does all the work at home but at the same time he keeps on telling me every now and then how I was way better when I was a little child (sure he does this out of love that he misses my childhood, but I have told him many times not to put it that way as it hurts me, but he still continues to do so). I am having troubles in my academic life in my University (it's been more than 2 years now and he gave me a hard time for that too, since I used to be a good student during highschool years). My mother works in a different city and my father is nearby, so I came to him since I couldn't take it anymore staying in the hostel and had nowhere else to go. He won't let me go out alone (because I am new to this place but still). He keeps on passing derogatory comments throughout the day, and he says that he does that playfully out of love. I have confronted him to not say it as I feel hurt, but he doesn't get it. I have clinical depression and have frequent anxiety. I am an only child with no cousins that are nearby my age. There is no one in the neighborhood I can talk to. I cannot try dating while being with him 'cause my father is orthodox about these things. I have been dealing with loneliness and pain from a very young age. Saw my father getting into domestic abuse and continued my day like nothing had happened, shared this with no one until I joined University 4 years back. My mother keeps trauma dumping and when I don't listen says how I have turned into my father. My father does the same thing and says how I am useless like my mother when things doesn't go like he would like it to be. Basically I am stuck between parents who hate each other but won't get divorced and keep emotionally making my life hell by comparing me negatively to the other one and getting into nasty fights. I have been strong for way too long. I have been through a lot. I got into a relationship with this guy in uni, he was very nice...but the insecurities I developed from the broken relationship my parents had me sabotage it. Wasn't my fault entirely, he hurt me a lot too. I never wanted a relationship but gradually went into it and we promised that no matter what happens we will always stay best friends. And now he is with someone else, and that too a girl from my class. We aren't best friends anymore. He still cares for me, will be there when I need him seriously. But he isn't mine anymore. And I feel unworthy of love. I have been through a lot more than what I have mentioned, I have been hopeful and strong for way too long. But I don't think I wanna be doing that anymore, because I don't see my life getting better.

So, if life doesn't show me a positive sign to hold on to it and keep on going, I am gonna end my life on Feb 15 2023. I can't keep going like this anymore. I am exhausted.

I have been on very bad health and in self quarantine in my room for a pair of weeks now. My mental state has been steadily declining for the last few days. I have been overworking from home for no real results and now I barely leave my room like I used to. Could you come here and get me out of it?

I just feel so confused. Conflicted and lonely and my schizophrenia is kicking in badly. I am really wishing a good motivational terapéuticas kick in the ass came flying through that door like it used to.

Thank you.