Hey Dad. I'm active duty military with almost 14 years in. So well over a year ago I had an emotional affair on my wife. I was and am wrong for all of that. She left me, as she should have and I have no one to blame but myself for this. We are getting divorced and it's going as well as it can. A few months ago I got put into a new position which is fantastic for my career! Am I allowed to be happy about this? It's going to do nothing but make great things happen but I don't feel like I can be happy about this because of of the terrible things I did to my ex. Am I allowed to be happy about this and celebrate? I don't feel like I should be but people are telling me I should be proud of moving on. I disagree. I feel like I should keep being punished for doing what I did because it's terrible... Dad... what do I do? (I don't know what flair to choose hopefully the one I picked is correct enough.)

My son came out recently as gay. Totally support him. Kind of at a weird spot though. He’s asking questions about being intimate with another male. How do I explain things? Would it ever be helpful to research certain types of pornography for education only.
You can hit me up on chat.

I’m reaching out because I could use some advice on how or if I should connect with my father after almost 19 years without contact, I am 21 now.

Here’s a bit of background: My mom moved us to Europe when I was very young at the age of 2, and since then, I’ve had no contact with my father or his side of the family I dont know what happend exactly. Recently, I reached out to my grandfather, who has been welcoming I think, and my aunt has also been in touch(she is the one who contacted me), sharing details about the family and my father. They’ve been supportive and have given me my father’s contact information, but they’re also careful not to interfere as they want the relationship to grow naturally.

From what know, my father was affected by our lack of connection atleast thats what I was told from my aunt. I dont know how true this statement is. She told me that he kept some Christmas presents for me over the years, though he didn’t know where to send them(which I am not sure if its true, because my mom said she always updated them on the address). My aunt mentioned that he might be a bit “tough” and not express his feelings openly, which makes me wonder how he might react if I reach out. She also said he’s aware that I contacted my grandfather but isn’t sure what to do about it. Part of me feels like I should be the one to reach out, but I’m also unsure because this whole situation is a bit overwhelming, and I’m not sure how he’ll respond. I am also abit scared that I might be ghosted if I send him an email.

If I were to reach out, I’m thinking to write a email. But I’m uncertain what to say or how to approach it in a way that doesn’t make things awkward or too emotional for either of us.

Any advice on how to handle this or what to say in a first email would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance for any insights.

Hi dad(s)

I currently don't have wifi. I need to buy some, and I have no idea what to look for, what to be aware of, and how to ensure that I dont buy more than I need, while having the best connection possible. There are so many different companies, prices, etc., and I dont even know where to begin.

I am a single woman. I mostly need wifi for streaming, but will occasionally be gaming a little.

Can you guys help me where to begin?

Thanks!

Hi everyone,

Six years ago, right after college, I moved from the South to New England for work. Back then, I packed everything I owned into an SUV. Over these years, I've grown to love New England, planted some roots, and acquired a lot more belongings (a whole apartment's worth of furniture, for instance).

This week, I accepted a job on the West Coast, and I’m trying to figure out the best way to make the move. My parents think I'm a bit crazy, but I’m considering selling everything I own, giving my car to my brother, and buying a van. I’d either buy it on the West Coast or get one here and drive it over. My plan is to live in the van for the first few months while I settle in and get familiar with the new area. If it works out well, I might continue with van life until I’ve saved enough for a substantial down payment on a condo.

I’m a rock climber, and I often take weekend trips, so I’ve always wanted a camper van for outdoor adventures. I don’t intend to live in it long-term, but it would be perfect for weekend trips and would also help me avoid paying nearly $2,000 a month in rent. I’d much rather put that money toward a mortgage.

Admittedly, I’m a bit nervous. Moving to a completely new area with a new job, no friends or family nearby, and no guaranteed access to things like showers and a bathroom feels like a big leap.

But this plan feels like a way to get ahead. In a year, I could end up with both the van I’ve always wanted and a mortgage on a small condo. The downside is that buying the van would leave me with nearly zero in liquid savings. I have some investments I could fall back on if needed, but I’d prefer not to touch those unless absolutely necessary.

Would love to hear any thoughts, advice, or experiences with something similar!

OK so pre-context: I'm ftm and bi / gay, they're aware of this & have been since we started talking, I met them online a few years back. We're both in our 20s. I'm not into femme stuff whatsoever.

Actual post:

A couple years back I started talking to a guy (they identified as a guy at the time) & their pronouns were he / they. Our relationship is pretty much built on "you're hot & a cocktease" + "I like your dick & you make me feel safe enough I can vent". That's it, that's the relationship.

Physically, they were close enough to my type when we started talking that I was OK with it. But they've been exploring being more femme lately, and I 100% support them, but I don't know how to say that I'm nowhere near as attracted to them as I used to be. They showed me pictures recently and my attraction all but vanished into thin air, since physically they're not remotely my type anymore (I wouldn't give them a second look if we passed each other on the street & didn't previously know each other) & it makes me feel like an asshole because I can see how much more confident they are now.

I want to be able to tell them I support them, since I know how daunting the process is to question & explore your gender & to arrive at the "I am considering HRT" / "I think I want to medically transition" point. I know how scary that is, I know how much transitioning changes stuff, and I want to be able to show them I empathise and sympathise with them & support them, whatever they choose. But without the mutual attraction (even if it was always unequal levels of attraction), I just feel like this friendship / dynamic is empty - like I'm just being polite when they're horny & genuinely into me. I've realised our dynamic doesn't really have the groundwork of an actual friendship (I know... 5? Things about them. Possibly 6.) and even though they're a really cool person, I just feel like there's nothing in this for me anymore.

But I don't want to be the asshole that's like "wellll I liked your dick but you're too femme for me now, this is all empty calories so I'm gonna go" when I know how rocky the path is that they're trying to navigate. But I also don't wanna just keep playing along to avoid hurting their feelings, since that isn't fair to either of us. They know I'm bi, but they don't know that when we started talking, my attraction to them was "if I half-close my eyes, tilt my head & squint, then you're my type" rather than the full-on attraction they felt for me at that point.

So I guess I'm asking for advice on how to tell them I either want to cut the friendship off entirely & call it a bridge burned, or work on having an actual friendship without sexual stuff (the only time I initiate conversation is if I'm horny or need someone to rant to, the only time they initiate conversations is if they're horny).

https://imgur.com/a/HTqgCZO

Hi Dads, I recently moved into an apartment. I opened up my fireplace damper to figure out how to use it however now I cannot close it. I try to push up but it doesn’t slide horizontally like I have seen some tips on Google say. This is a lever like damper that I pulled down to open a square door to open the flue. Please any help is appreciated I have never operated a fireplace before.

i need some help trying to figure out how to fix an outlet at home. mine are all old and starting to become real loose, and nothing stays plugged in. how can i replace these? and what supplies/tools do i need? i don’t want to ask my dad, he’d just get frustrated with me and tell me to not bother with it. thanks for reading.

I’m 21 years old, and to be honest, I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing with my life.

I had a rough childhood. My father struggled with alcoholism and was abusive, and both my parents got involved in cheating and even drugs at different points. Home was chaotic, to say the least. I grew up interpreting for my deaf parents and took on responsibilities way too early, but I didn’t have any real male role models. My mother eventually went through a series of unstable relationships, and I was exposed to things no kid should ever have to see. Now, I don’t have anyone to really turn to for guidance, so here I am, hoping some of you might have advice.

I have an idea of the man I want to become. I want to be strong, reliable, and caring. I want to build a life with purpose and stability, something meaningful that gives back to my family and society. One day, I’d love to raise children and be the kind of father who can pass down wisdom from hard-earned experiences.

But right now, I feel a bit lost and lacking direction. I’m passionate about politics and even think about a career in it one day. I also want to explore entrepreneurship, but I know both paths demand discipline, leadership, and a strong sense of self—qualities I’m still working to build.

Lately, I’ve been considering joining the Coast Guard as a Rescue Swimmer. It’s something I feel would give me that sense of self-achievement that’s missing in my life. I want to feel proud of myself for doing something challenging, something that could help save lives. Plus, I think military experience could give me structure and discipline that would benefit a future in politics or business. I have this deep desire to contribute to the world in a way that’s bigger than myself.

But I have concerns. Committing to four years of active duty feels like a big leap. Some family members have told me that I’d be wasting my 20s, that I should be trying different things, traveling, experiencing life. They say I’m young and shouldn’t limit myself to just one thing.

There’s also a more personal side to my hesitation. I have a 6-year-old sister who means the world to me. Her father left about a year ago and got into trouble, so he’s not coming back. She doesn’t have a father figure, and in many ways, I’ve become the only male figure in her life. Part of me feels like I’d be abandoning her if I joined the Coast Guard. I know it’s not technically my burden to bear—it’s my mother’s responsibility, and she made the choices that brought us here. But there’s this other voice in my head telling me that I need to stay and be the role model she deserves. Life hasn’t been fair, and maybe I need to shoulder this responsibility, even if it isn’t mine to begin with.

So here I am, torn. Part of me wants to build my own life, live out my dreams, and pursue what I’m passionate about. But another part of me feels obligated to stay for her, to be the steady presence that I never had. I know there are no easy answers, but I could really use some guidance. Is joining the Coast Guard worth it, or should I stay close to home for my sister? How do I choose the right path when both options pull me in different directions?

Thanks in advance for any advice.

First, i'm honestly not sure what tag to put this post in, but whatever I'll just choose whatever feels the best. I've had a passion for baseball for awhile now, and I decided that I'm going to tryout for the JV team. I just need tips and advice for getting that spot on the team. I'm trying out for 1st and 3rd base, although I'm fine with whatever the coach thinks I'm best at. tryouts are on the 11th of November and I'm honestly really excited. Thanks dad.

Thing about adulting I’m noticing is that there is a lot of boring repetitive work to do. And for many people is just second nature and it becomes a part of life or daily routine and habit. But for a beginner how can they stop getting frustrated. Like I’m just seeing work as end goal but I’m not thinking twice that working is part of adulting until you pass away. The bills and life responsibilities aren’t going to vanish. The main worry is always the income. And so many people are chasing for money. Not to just feel happy but able to have a better life and some sense of financial security and stability. I’ve been told many times is not too late to go college and get some education.

ltitle is self explanatory, the compressor was rlly hot when i touched it. just unplugged the fridge. i bought one and it didnt work and now this one and i have no food. i'm so tired i just want to have food in my dorm. what should i do?

Can someone please advise what I can put on my neck to stop it burning after shaving. It feels like a bad sunburn and it ittitates when my collar touches it. Thanks in advance. X

Sorry for such a crappy question but I feel so hopeless. I don’t even date much myself but I see what my fellow girlfriends are going through and I’m losing hope. I just want a nice guy and I have no idea if anyone else even wants that anymore.

Dad, how and where can I find a good man who is in it for the right reasons? Any red flags to help me sniff them out?

I'm moving and wanting to sell a Kenmore washer and dryer - each about 6-7 years old. I believe the pair together was about $1400 at that time. Is there a decent source for determining the value right now? I found a used appliance place and he gave me a number to text with pictures and how much I wanted. I really want to get rid of them, so not going to try for every last dollar, just don't want to significantly under-sell them though. Where can I determine a fair price?

Edit: there is actually an "Appliance Blue Book" but it looks like it's about what to charge for repairs and installations.

I've been wanting to have my brother take his belongings and leave from my house for quite a while now. However, I put up with his bs because he's my sibling. Anyway, he was dating this lady "Becky" for a few years now. Recently, he left her for someone else. Becky decided to get revenge by beating them both with a metal bat at a gas station. My brother left with Becky so that his current gf wouldn't get hit anymore.

This incident happened Monday night. I found out about from my neice. She called me at 7 A.M. on Tuesday asking about where her dad was and if he was okay. I did my best to remain calm and I told her I would see if I could find him. One person I reached out to was his former best friend Nick. Well, later that night Nick returned my call tried to make it seem as if I was someone who caused Becky to end up in jail or snitched on her. He stated: "You reached out to me when your brother went missing a couple of days ago. Now, you've reached out to me again and Becky's in jail."

We got into an argument and I told him that I didn't know where my brother was at the moment. He wasn't with me. Nick told me he's "...The type of person who goes knocking on doors." I'm not sure what he meant by that, but it sounded like a threat. I went off on him and told him that he and his friends better not try something on me. I also told him that the next time I see my brother I am telling him to leave my house. Nick sounded shocked by the latter.

My brother refuses to speak to Nick anymore because my brother thinks that Nick is the person who told Becky that my brother was cheating and where his current gf lives.

Anyway, I packed all of my brother's belongings today. I'm telling him to pick up his stuff tomorrow or Thursday. There's a small part of me that's telling me not to do it because he's my brother regardless of how reckless and irresponsible he is. Plus, I'm afraid my niece and nephew may have their resentments towards me after the fact.

I'm really hoping they understand to some extent why I did this. They're both in their teens.

hi. i (unfortunately) purchased a 2017 nissan sentra (brand new) in 2017. paid it off a year and a half ago and only have around 45K miles on it. about a year ago, i noticed RPMs going crazy and flagged to dealership that i think there’s something wrong with transmission and they basically dismissed it. have had this issue ever since, but took it in for oil changes, etc. but always flagged this transmission concern especially since nissans are notorious for this.

took it for an oil change a few weeks ago, and they tell me i need to do a transmission flush. i told them i was going to come back to take care of that. i take it to a mechanic to get a 2nd opinion. he runs the codes and says that i need a new transmission and that had i done the flush, it would have made my transmission issues worse. i take it to another nissan dealership and they tell me essentially the same thing. i was/am pissed.

called manufacturer last week, they just got back and said they would be willing to cover 70% of the cost and i cover 30%.

i’ve read around and i’ve seen people say that nissan only covered 50% or nothing. i’m not sure if i should just run with this or push back and ask they help more.

what do you think?

my family has lived in this house for 12 years and this only started happening in the last week, we aren't sure what's going on and if this is a problem we can ignore or need to fix. its completely stopped working a few times so I'm assuming me need to fix it lmao, can anyone please help?

I seem to be overthinking a lot and barley any sign of actions like putting effort and believing in myself. Mind just wants to create multiple reasons to not do the work. Often times I don’t realize why is this happening. Like you know what you are supposed to do and maybe you don’t know the correct steps but you still just do it. And I’m here always contemplating should I ? Should I not? Hmm

So I want to buy a new set of tires - it's a front wheel drive car and the front tires are at like 3/32 of tread. But the back are considerably better - like 5/32 . So I guess the tires were not rotated. Anyway, I really don't want to just buy 2 new tires and start with uneven wear - plus there is a slow leak in one of the "good" tires. So when getting new tires, will any place give me some money for the 2 rear tires? (I plan to go to Costco.) Or is it just a waste of time trying to get any money for the 2 tires with tread left?

Have an interesting situation, I am a 30 year old entrepenuer, working in marketing and finance andI live in Fort Lauderdale. I previously dated a 31 year old woman, met via Tinder ( yes another one of those). We dated for 5 years, and during that time, come to find out, she was married to a 65-year-old guy and was a self-proclaimed sugar baby. During this time, I was basically her bitch, being raised from a single mother house hold, seeing all the cars and luxuries she had, she manipulated me and gaslight me to oblivion.

Throughout the years, my intuition made me become callous and I often avoided her causing toxic brake ups. She would eventually get pregnant multiple times and having multiple abortions. I convince myself I was in love because this was what I learned from my own mother as love. Eventually after breaking up for the final time she got pregnant while I was away from her and kept the baby.

Now 6th months in I found out shes keeping it. One night I show up at her house, 7th months pregnant mind you, and found out she was dating another guy, not her husband. Now fast forward, the baby was born and I took 2 DNA test's and its my son. We go off and on co-parent but nothing stays.

Now my son is almost 2 years old. Throughout this time I have gained to then lose 400k, self - isolated in order to heal, and build myself back up to the man I wish to be for my son. My question is, I know that I do best when I am isolated and focused. But I do not want to lose my son like I lost my own father. Do I focus for 2 -3 years and build back up and reclaim my son. Or do I still see my son knowing, I will deal with her and it might drag my in or effect me. For my son, my family, my legacy, I cannot afford to lose in life. Help my fathers. I am at an inflection point in my life.

I don’t need one hand even to count the number of times I remember meeting my father. I could not ID him in a crowd. He found my number through family, and has been texting me wanting to talk. I never reply.

Yesterday he begged for a reply because he’s having a surgery tomorrow and may not make it.

I feel angry that it’s taken terminal illness for him to reach out to me. It’s been nearly 40 years.

Should I feel bad for not responding?

I have never really had the most perfect relationship with my dad to start. My parents split up before I was even really able to walk and talk properly and I've kind of always been closer to my mom, but that has never changed the fact that I love my dad.

My whole life its been split custody and I would see my dad on the weekends. After I turned 18 and graduated high school that kind of all stopped, which I expected at some point. Before this though, I told him I wanted to keep seeing him like usual until I started school. There were a few times where he was late or didn't show up at all and it kind of hurt me. I told him this and he said he just assumed because I hadnt asked him that weekend that I didn't want to come, so I guess I can take the blame for this one.

I just started my freshman year of college in August and I havent really properly seen my dad since. He doesn't reach out to me at all and I don't hear from him unless I contact him first. The last time I saw him was at a family event in September and he spoke to me for only five minutes. I went to get my things from his house recently and he wasn't there. When I got there, he'd already taken down a lot of stuff I had hanging up and put things of mine away. He doesn't ask me about school or if I'm getting through it well, he doesn't know what my grades are like and never has. I know all of this is kind of silly but it really hurts me. I had always kind of hoped things would get better between us when I got older. I miss my dad a lot, but I feel like he just couldn't wait to be done with me.

Hoping to get some help. We have a family computer, but my teenage son mostly uses it. Recently I’ve discovered some curious things. Searches like “men in briefs” and “spandex men” seem to take up a lot of the searches as well as some type of hypno p@rn.

I guess I wanna ask. Is this healthy? Should I say something or ask about it. He also asked for new underwear recently, that’s a bit unusual. I’m not sure if hes being influenced by the stuff he’s watching or what.

My car makes a grinding sound like it did when I needed my brakes replaced but it doesn't just happen when I brake, it happens completely randomly and only on the right side. If I turn left it stops, if I turn right it happens, it'll make the grinding sound while I'm driving like something is stuck and dragging somewhere. I changed my brake pads and rotors 1.5yrs ago. Can it already be that the brakes needs changed again?

Hey dad, ive been working over time non stop to the limits that my job as a welder has allowed me. Financially im normally stable but this month was hard on us and i need to know how i can make $400 within this week.

Currently im working from 2:15-10:45 every day and often i stay about 2 hours extra just for the extra money to avoid this.

I got sick and then my oldest got hand foot and mouth disease which lead to me missing some work. Im at wits end and idk how im going to make it and keep the roof over our heads.... ive been trying to stay calm but i just dont know what to do.

Im currently looking into plasma donation, calling up labor ready, and so on but it wont guarentee pay in the time i need it. Is there a way to make $100/day on the side with my schedule reliably that wont get me fired....

Hi (Reddit) dad,

My (20F) parents divorced when I was 13 going on 14. Suffice to say it was hellish and the divorce traumatised me a lot. I was parentified during the very messy legal process, and my bio father handled the whole thing very poorly. My mother filed for divorce after years of emotional and financial abuse, and other many, many problems I can't even begin to describe. However, he managed to throw her and me, his eldest daughter, under the bus by portraying her as a stupid, unstable woman who is easily influenced by others, and I as the mentally ill teenager who was oh so poorly robbed of a father figure who was supposedly her only chance at stability. Despite these claims, however, my bio father ended up telling the court that the only way he'd agree to a divorce is he is granted permission to completely relinquish custody and any responsibility for child support. As my mother is thankfully born into a wealthy family, she could afford to raise three children on her own financially and immediately agreed with his demands. Whether she was emotionall equipped to do so, though... that's another matter for another day.

What I absolutely hate, however, is how my father continues to act as if he's the world's most devoted father. There was a point where he virtually vanished off the face of the earth for 8 months, leaving me (who at that point still a child and still haven't completely understood why the divorce was happening) distraught. Then he came back and began acting like nothing ever happened. He only sees me and my siblings once every few months (up until last year, when I decided to move overseas for university).

He constantly texts me how he loves me so much and how he has "never stopped fighting for (me and my siblings", yet here's the kicker; during the divorce trial it was discovered that my father stole so much money from me and my siblings. He was paid a lot of money by my grandfather (which was meant to be deposited into some sort of a fund for us kids), only to take it for himself and essentially run off with it. He also keeps coming up with constant excuses why he couldn't give me a birthday gift or why he's only giving something really small, yet somehow always has the money to go on expensive trips abroad and treat his gf (who was also probably his affair partner, yes he cheated on my mother as well) to expensive dinners at the SAME HOTEL HE WED MY MOTHER IN. And of course, the fact he demanded the court to grant him permission to let go of all financial responsibility over me and my siblings. I will say that I'm not American, and yes this is possible in the legal system of my country. This is just scratching the surface with all the horrible shit he did; I'm just way too distressed to write all of it down. And we'll be here for hours, trust.

I keep as minimal contact as possible with my father-- and I'm only doing so to avoid my sisters, who are still underage, from getting into trouble. And my mother as well, who does not deserve another moment of suffering this fool's antics. I guess in a way I'm putting myself in the firing line everyday for their sake, but I can't bear the thought of my sisters and mother suffering because of this POS.

I'm very tired, and every day I grow angrier and more hateful towards him at each new shenanigan he pulls. He still loves to boldly claim about his love and devotion towards me and my sisters with little to no evidence to prove it. He keeps forcing video calls on me and gets cranky whenever I don't or can't even pick up--- such while I'm in class, or when I'm cycling, or in public. It has to all be at his convenience, but not mine. He keeps forcing me to call his relatives as well while completely disregarding the fact that I was uncomfortable. He's trying so hard to keep up the "loving devoted father who was wronged by his vengeful ex wife" image and it disgusts me.

My bio father's antics frankly has made me forget that some dads are actually decent and not so horrible.

Dear reddit dads, please give me assurance that some fathers out there are decent enough to be appalled with what he did. Not everyone would traumatise their kids like this, right?

For extra info: he doesn't know that I know about the horrible stuff he did. He's still under the impression that I believe he's a squeaky clean saintly father. The only reason why I'm not saying anything either is because I'm trying to keep the peace. He's already so insufferable and stupidly immature at the slightest incovenience and disagreements, I cannot handle him blowing up at me for bigger confrontations.

Idk what all the financial steps are when buying a car. Ik I’ll have a down payment and will need a car loan but I also have no credit score. Once the car is mine what do I all need? Insurance….. idk what else, idk how to go about getting a license plate or anything. Help dad

Hey Dad -

A branch fell on my roof and punctured a small hole, so I called a roofer. Easy. Water got in and soaked the insulation and ceiling drywall (or is it considered Sheetrock?) anyways… who do I call to fix something like that?

I don’t know if this is exactly the right sub to post this, but if it’s not please feel free to remove it!

Me and my stepdad have known eachother for about 8 years now, since I was 12-13 years old. We always had a relatively good relationship in my eyes, though he never taught or showed me how to do things that a dad would usually do. To me he felt more like a good neighbor if that makes sense?

Well shortly into my time of knowing my stepdad and going around meeting his family, I met my stepbrother who I later ended up being molested and groomed by. It was about 4 years and I was so deeply ashamed and embarrassed by it that I didn’t tell anyone in my family. just last year I finally told them although it wasn’t willingly. Skipping ahead, basically my stepdad has changed towards me behavior wise.

When I first told him, the day after he immediately started bombarding me with personal invasive questions regarding the abuse etc. asking what “reactions” I had towards what my stepbrother was doing to me. Which was very violating to me at the time, but I now know that my stepdad is a bit of a pervert and have caught him looking at me different times at home. He also said some very hurtful stuff to me in turn like me being molested out of spite, that it was never really a big deal what my stepbrother did to me, he even one time walked in on it happening but didn’t intervene because he was tired and didn’t know if he was seeing things correctly. (He admitted this)

Fast forward to now, he doesn’t talk to me aside from the general “hello and bye” he comes across as being immensely uncomfortable and passive whenever I’m in the same room as him, acts as if I’m not there. Still talks to my stepbrother despite knowing about everything. My personal opinion I believe he resents me for coming forward about the molestation I endured by his son, and I hate to actually admit it but I’m scared of my stepdad. He’s said before to me he knows when I’m hiding stuff from him because he reads my body language. Whenever he’s around my heart starts racing, I start uncontrollably shaking and stuttering so it’s embarrassingly obvious lol. My family has told me to stop letting him see how weak and sensitive I am but I cannot help it.

(This became a long post and I couldn’t include all the details because its already ridiculously too large so if anyone has any other questions I’ll answer it in the comments)