/r/40kOrkScience
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LISTEN UP YA BOOGER FLINGIN GOBZ!!
DIS IS A GATHERIN OV DA SMARTEST, DA STRONKIST, AN DA LOUDEST ORK BOYZ IN DA NOWN VERSE!! WE'RE HERE TA WAAAAAAAGGHH AND KRUMP BUT TA EDUCATE ALL OF DA NEW GROTZ ON WOT IT IZ TA BE AN ORK!!
WHAT IZ AN ORK? WERR DA BEST AT KRUMPIN AND WAAAAAAGHHHS AN BLOWIN STUFF INTO SHINY BITZ!! SOME STOOPID HUMIE FRUM DA EMEEREIUM SAID DIS ABOUT DA ORKZ....
http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Orks
I DUNNO HOW TRU ALL DAT IZ, ALL I READ OV DAT IS DA ORKZ ARE DA BEST AN DA YUNEVERSE IS SCARED PROPAH OV US WHICH DEY SHULD BE!!
BUT DIS BRANCH OV DA WAAAAAGGHH IS FER LEARNIN AN TEACHIN YA STOOPID HUMIES WOT ITZ LIKE TA BE DA BEST AN TA BE AN ORK!! WOT YER SUPPOSED TA DO IZ ASK US QWESTIONS AND WERE TA ANSWER DEM DA PROPAH WAY!!
JUS REMEBAH TA BE RESPECTFUL OV EACH UTTA!! YA CAN FIGHT AN HOLLAR AND KRUMP EACH UTTA UNTIL YER FISTS AR BLOODY BUT DON'T BE LIKE DEM STINKIN TAU GITZ AND CAUSE A RUCKUS DA CAUSES ME TA COME IN AN PUT YER HEAD ON ME BOSSPOLE!!
ASK YER QWESTSHUNS AN WELL TELL YA HOW TA BE AN ORK!!!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
WANNA GIV A SHOUTOUT TO DEM HUMIE GITZ DAT HELPED ADVERTIZE DA BOYZ TO DA REDDITVERSE!! STOP BY AN LOOK AT ALL DER SHINY GUBBINZ AT /r/ImaginaryWarhammer
ALSO YA GITZ SHULD CHECK OUT /r/WARHAMMER40k AN /r/surprisespacemarine FER ALL YER EMPY LOVIN NEEDZ AN /r/40kLore FER DEM PAPERY BOOK FINGZ AN DA INFERMASHUN ON DA EVA GROWIN WWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHH!!!
DA NU GITZ TA CHECK OWT IZ DA HUMIEZ OVA AT /r/GrimDank FER SUM FUNNEE GUBBINZ TA LAUGH AT AND TA SAVE ON YER COMPEWTAH FER LATAH USE!!!
DER AR MORE NU GITZ TA CHEK OWT! /r/ttswarhammer40k DAT PLAY ORKZ ON DER COMPUUTER FINGZ AN MAKE WWWWAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHZZZZ GO DER AN LERN TA KRUMP GITZ ON DA GAME!!!
IF YOUZ UN-ORKY AN' CAN'T HANDLE DA POWAH OF DA BEST WAR MACHINE IN DA UNIVERZ, DEN MAYBE YOUZ CAN SOD OFF TA ONE O' DESE PONZY PRISSY SUBS INSTEAD:
OR YOUZ CAN BE PART OF DA WAAAAAGH!
WE HAZ GREAT TEEF INSURANCE.
/r/40kOrkScience
47,392 Subscribers
EY BOYZ! WOT DO YOUZ FINK, IZ THERE SUCH A FING AS 'OVAKILL'?
SURE A BIG BANG IS ALWAYZ WELKUM, BUT YOUZ KNOW... DAT'S DAKKA NOT SPENT KURMPIN' DA NEXT GIT.
22:11 UTC
WHAT IFZ DAKKA FROM MORK?
MORK MAKE SMALL BOOMZ IN SHOOTA AND DAZ WHUT MAKE DAKKA?
08:46 UTC
I FINK DAT DA HUMIES STOLE MY DAKKA
I WOKE UP DIS MORNIN WANTIN TO KRUMP SOME HUMIES BUT MY DAKKACOPTA WAS GONE, DID DA HUMIES GET IT?
EDIT: I FORGOT I BLEWED IT UP FOR MORK
03:49 UTC
SPIF FISTA'
I SAW ON' OF EM IMPA-... IMPE?? OH ZOG THE YELLOW FISTA BOYZ RU'N 'ROUND WIT' DIS SPIFF FISTA SO I THUM'PD 'EM AN' TOOK DA FIST FO' MESELF HAHAH!
10:56 UTC
WAT IZ YOUR FAVOR-IT DAKKA FROM DA SHOOTA SIMU-LATA HELLDIVARS TOO?
I KNOW DEM GITZ KALL IT "STATER-GEMS" OR SOME 'UMIE GUBBINGS BUT ITZ KLEERLY DAKKA!!!!
01:30 UTC
OOZ DA BIGGEST LOOTA IN DA GALAXY?
I THINKZ ITz WOZ DA EMPEROR AND IMPERIUM BECAUSE DEY ALWAYS STEALIN LAND AN RESOURCES FROM UDDA SPECIES.
13:34 UTC
QUEST-SHUN!!! 'OW DOES DAT EMPRAH GIT DA UMIEZ ALWAYZ GOIN' ON ABOUT FIT IN WIFF GORK AND MORK?!!!!
00:22 UTC
PSH!
GORGUTZ I'S E ROIGH' GROT-HERDER DAT ON' I SHOULD B'BOSS!
10:32 UTC
HAY EYE TRAINSLAYER GROWS ME LARGER TO FOOL HUMAN
WE HAVE HAMBURGLAR THE RED HUMAN COMMUNITY AND DISCOVER IN HUMAN RED MEANS GADGETS
GRASP PROJECTILE DISPENSER AND INSERT THE GADGETS BELOW PROJECTILE CRATE& DISPENSER DISPENSES LARGER DRUMS& INSERT GADGETS ABOVE PROJECTILE CHUTE TO AID THE SEARCH FOR HUMANKIND
HAY EYE NOT MERELY TRAINSLAY FICTIONAL WORDS INTO REAL WORDS, HAY EYE PRODUCE LARGER DISPENSER LARGER CUTTER& WITH ENOUGH REAL TEETH HAY EYE PRODUCE LARGER HAY EYE
WITH THE AID FROM LARGE TAKE KNOWLEDGEY WE CLEAN THE SMOGGING HUMANS FOR A CLEANER GREENER FUTURE
06:00 UTC
OY LADZ. WOTS DIS 'ALLOWEEN FING DA 'UMIES IS ON ABOUT?!
'DEY SAYZ I NEED TA PUT ON A COSTUME SOZ I GOTZ ME A NEW 'AT
23:13 UTC
OI YA GITZ! ITZ MAH CAEK DAY!
WHEREZ MAH SQUIG CAKE?? AN SUM TEEF, DAKKA AN CHOPPA CUZ I'Z DESERV ITZ???!!!?
04:41 UTC
DAY 45 OF DA 'UMIEZ FINKIN' I'M ONE O' DEM IN DIS 'DORKTIDE' FING
WOKE UP AFTER TOO MUCH ZOGGIN FUNGUSNOG. LAST FING I REMEMBAH IS TELLIN' THE PAINBOY HE SMELLS!!!
THEN I FIND MESELF IN A ZOGGING CELL AND 'UMIES SQUEAKIN' 'BOUT HOW KRUMPIN' ME WOULD SAVE PAPERWORK. ZOGGING PAPERWORK!!!
SO EYE'S TELL 'EM A JOKE ABOUT 'OW EYE AIN'T SUP'POS'D TA BE 'ERE 'CAUSE I SERVE THEIR EMPRAH AND DEN 'UMIES WHO ZOGGIN' STINK KAME AND SHOT DA ZOG OUTTA DA PLACE
FIGGA DAT EYE GETZ TA KRUMP MORE PEOPLE IF DIS ZOLA GIT GOT ME OFF DAT ROK SO EYE DID ME BEST IMPRESSION O' A PAINBOY. SHE TOOK IT LIKE A TRUE ORK. NO CRYIN NO SCREAMIN. KINDA DISAPPOINTIN BUT STILL ORKY!!!
SO FAR DEY'VE BEEN SAYING ZOG LIKE "Wow, you're really smart for an Ogryn" AN' "holy Hel you can count to ten?!"
SOMETIMES SOMEONE STARTS SCREAMIN' ABOUT 'OW I'M A SEEN-OHS AND DEN DEY TELL 'EM "Have you been warp-touched?! That is an Ogryn!" AND DEN MORROW TELLS 'EM TO SHUT DERE GOB AND GO ON A BIG KRUMPZ
WHEN DO I GET TO GO ON DA BIG KRUMPZ
18:41 UTC
WEIRD BOYS SAY IM FINE
WE WAS FRESH OFF LOOTING ONE OF THEM HUMIE MEKBOY PLANETS AN LEAVIN TO GO KRUMP SOME DIFFRENT GITZ ON SUM OTHER PLANET. WELL DA WEIRD BOYZ EAD STARTS DOING THAT FING AGAIN AN NEXT THING I KNOW WE IZ IN WEIRD SPACE AN FIGHTING THESE WEIRD GITZ AN DIS IS ALL FUN HAVING A GOOD FIGHT BUT DIS ONE GIT LOOKED LIKE A BEAKY BIRD WITH TWO EADS IT DID SOMETHING TO MY EAD AND IT AINT STOPPED HURTING SINCE. IT JUST KEEPS THUMPING LOUD AND WRONG. I CAN HEAR THE WHOLE WAAAGGHH LIKE DEY WAS ALL IN DA ROOM WIF ME. SCARED TO TALK TO THE PAIN BOY CUZ I FINK HE WANTS TO TAKE MY EAD OFF.
WEIRD BOYS GAVE ME DID BIG METAL STICK AND SAID IT HELPS BUT I JUST WATCHED SOME OTHER POOR GITZ EAD POP RIGHT OFF IZ BODY AN IM WORRIED I GOT THE SAME PROBLEM NOW.
15:15 UTC
I HEAR DA HUMIES IS GETTIN' READY TO 'AVE A PROPA BAZH
' IZ SUMMIT ABOUT KRUMPIN DESE ORANGE FINGS DEY CALL PUMP-KIN?... AND DEY DRESS UP ALL WEIRD LIKE TOO. ZOGGIN' HUMIES. SOME OV DEM DRESS LIKE FISHBOIS OR KNIFE EARS AND DEY ALL 'AVE A PROPA LAUGH. WUT WOULD YOU BOIZ DRESS AS FOR HAL-LO-WEEN FING?
22:27 UTC
MORK IZ BETTA DAN GORK
DATS ROIGHT YA GITZ, MORK IZ BETTA AT KRUMPIN DAN GORK DUZ, AN’ YER ZOGGIN GITZ KANT CHANGE MA MIND
12:28 UTC
ITZ ROIGHT UNFAIR IT IZ
ROIGHT BOYZ, I BEEN FINKIN, WEZ ALWAYZ GOIN TO BRING FOIGHTIN TO DEM HUMIEZ WORLDZ, BUT DEY NEVER BE BRINGIN THE FOIGHT TO US! WHY IS DAT!? DEY SHUD COME TO US TOO!
17:56 UTC
'EY BOYZ, YA 'EAR OV DA "HOLEY DAKKA"? ANYWUN KNOWZ WHERE IT IZ?
THEYZ SAY YOUZ CAN 'AVE UNLIMITED DAKKA IF YOUZ 'AVE IT! AN' THAT IT CAN CHOP A 'UMIE GARGANT IN HALF WIFF ALL DA DAKKA!
08:55 UTC
DA BOZZ IZ A GENIUZ!
WE'Z BEEN STUCK ON DIZ PLANET FOR AGEZ WIT NUTIN TO FIGHT EVEA SINZE WE FINIZED KRUMPIN SOME DEM BLUE GITZ (DEY WAZN'T LUCKY), BUT WE'Z GOT STUCK KUZ OF WARP STORMZ. BOYZ WUZ JUZT HITTEN EACH OTHA, BUT IT WAZ GETTING BORIN.
DEN DA BOZZ WENT "OI, MEKZ MAKE A BIG SHOKK GUN, BUT MAKE IT A BOMB!" AND IT BLEW OPEN DIZ WEIRD HOLE, AND NOW ALL DEM CHAOS DAEMON BOYZ COMIN OUT OF IT, AND WE'Z KRUMPIN DEM, AND IT'Z GREAT!
16:22 UTC
OI LADZ! QUIZTON
LADS REZENTLY I WAS DOIN ME ROUNDZ KRUMPIN DA HUMIES WHEN THEYS STARTED SHOUTIN "MERCY MERCY" WHOS THE GIT THEYS KEEP SHOUTIN FOR???? IS MERCY SUM STRONG BEAKIE OR HUMIES I DONT HAVE HERDS OF ABOUT BEFORE? PLESE ANSWERS FAST ME CHOPPAS GETTIN THIRSTE FOR BLUD
23:33 UTC
OI OWN A SHOOTA FER OME DEFENZE
OI OWN A SHOOTA FER OME DEFENZE CUZ DATZ WUT DA BAD MOONZ INTENDUD
FOUR GOFFS BREAK INTA ME WORKSHOP (WHAT DA ZOG?!)
AZ OI GRAB ME POWDERED (*hair) SQUIG AN KUSTOM SHOOTA, BLOW A SNOTLING SIZED OLE IN DA FIRST GOFF EEZ DEAD ON DA SPOT
DROW MOI SLUGGA ON DA SECOND GIT. MISS IM ENTOIRELY BECAUSE OI'M AN ORK AN NAIL DA NEIGHBOURS GROT
OI AVE A REZORT TO DA KANNON AT DA TOP UV DA STAIRS AN LOADED WIV FRAG SHOT (ERE WE GO LADZ!)
DA FRAG KILLZ TWO GOFFS IN DA BLAST. DA REZULTIN NOIZE AN EXTRA SHRAPNEL SET OFF TRUKK ALARMS
EQUIP POWERKLAW AN RIP DA EAD OFF DA LAST TERRIFIED GIT, HE BLEEDZ OUT WAITIN FER DA DOK TO ARRIVE SINCE DEKAPITASHUN IZ IMPOSSIBLE TA STITCH UP
(*smokes cigar) AHH, JUZ AS DA BAD MOONZ INTENDUD
06:40 UTC
Do Orks think different shades have different meanings?
Like does a crimson choppa cause more blood loss than a red choppa? Or a light blue pelt protect them from the cold better than a blue one?
02:29 UTC
OI LADZ, LOOK WUT I STOLE
dramatically unveils Warlord Titan from underneath a cloth
WUT SHUD WE DO WIFF IT? DO WE BRAKE IT DOWN, OR STRAP MOAR DAKKA ONTO IT?
14:54 UTC
WAAAGH!
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19:00 UTC
GOLD MAKES YA IMMORTAL!
OV BEENIN DOIN SOME FINK, YOUZ KNOW DEM CUSTODES GITS, DA THE GOLDEN BOYZ THAT ARE DA PERSONAL NOBS OF DAT UMIE EMPERAH.
YOUZ KNOW HOW DEY ALL GOLD, DEY DED KILLY AND TUFFER DAN MOST BOSSES! AND DAT UMIE EMPERAH SITS ON A GOLD TOLIET AND IZ STILL KICKIN, JUST STUCK!
SO I DID SOME FINKIN ABOUTZ WHY DEY SO DED KILLY AND STRONK, AND IZ CUZ DEY GOLD!
OI PAINTED SOME BOYZ OF MINE GOLD, DEN ME SELF, AND WE IZ INVICABLE, DA BOYZ ARE AS FAST AS RED, LUCKY AS BLUE, AND DED ARD LOIKE BLACK! DA GOLD ITSELF MAKEZ YA IMMORTAL! WEZE EVEN TOOK DOWN ONE OF DEM GOLDEN GITS!
WEZE DEY IMMOTALZ! ANY BOY DAT FINK DEY ARD ENUFF CAN JOIN! GOLD IZ HARD TO COME BY SO IZ ONLY TAKIN DA BEST BOYZ!
02:39 UTC
DEM BRAINIE BOYZ FINK DEY BETTA DEN UZ
OI WAZ FINKIN WE CUD BUILD OUR OWN FLYIN' DAKKA MACHINE. OI GOTZ ME A STICK, SUM TAPE, 'N MOST 'MPORTANLEE SUM SKRAP. WHOZ WIF ME? 'N SENZ IZ MY IDEA OI GET TO NAME IT. "KRUMP N DUMP" IZ DA NAME CUZ WE KRUMP EM... 'N DEN WE DUMP EM! WAAAAAGHAAHAHAHAA
22:38 UTC
(drunk from fungus beer) *grabs squigophone* "I JUS LOZT MOI BOSSSSS"
"AN' MOI GORKER TAUGHT ME 'OW TA CHASE DA WAAAAGHH. 'E REALLY SHOWED ME 'OW TA MAKE A WAAAGH. DA DAY 'E LOZT A FOIT, WISH I COULD TAKE IT BACK."
04:37 UTC
WHY DONT DEEZ LAMMEN-LEMMAN... SAD BEAKIES JUST PAINT 'EMSELVES BLUE IF DEYZ IZ SO UNLUCKY?
THATS THE FING WITH 'UMIES DEY DONT FINK MUCH
07:28 UTC
MY SQUIG’S DED!!! (SAD POST)
ME SQUIG TOEBITAH WUZ PLAYIN’ OUTSIDE WIFF WUN OV’ DEM SNOTLINGS WEN ‘DEYZ WERE RUN OVA BY A ZOGGIN’ TRUKK BY UN’ O’ DOZ’ ZOGGIN’ DEFFSKULLZ!!!! IF I’Z SEE ANY DEFFSKULLZ I’Z SHOOTIN’ YOU GITZ DED! WAAAAAGH!
15:48 UTC
ALERT! OGRYNS HAVE INFLITRATED DA WAAAGH!
LIZTEN UP YA GITZ! DA UMIES SENT A BUNCH OF DER OGRYNS TA BE ALL SNEAKIE LOIKE! PRETENDIN TA BE ORKS! ERES HOW TA TELL IF YA FELLOW BOYZ IS AN OGRYN!
OGRYNS LUV DA "LIL'UNS" UNLIKE PROPA BOYZ DEY LOIKE AND OBEY SMALLER GITZ! SO IF YA SEE YA MATE GET KRUMPED AFTER KICKIN A SNOTLING/GROT/UMIE, GUD CHANCE DA "BOY" WHO DID IT IZ AN OGRYN!
OGRYNS ARE BIGGA DAN YA! DEY ALZO BIGGA DAN NOBS, IF YA FELLOW "BOY" IS ESPICALLY BIG, E MAY BE AN OGRYN!
AND DATS ALL! KEEP AN EYE OUT YA GITZ FOR SNEAKIE OGRYNS! AIN'T DAT ROIGHT UHH *LOOKS AT PAPER* BOB?!
*A SUSPICIOUSLY LARGE BOY NODS* UH HUH, AND UHH, REMEBER TA ALSO KRUMP DA GREENIES! *THE SUSPICIOUSLY BOY PROCEEDS TO THEN KRUMP THE NEAREST GIT*
HAHA! AT A LAD, NOW! GET LOOKIN FOR DEM OGRYN!
21:00 UTC
'EY BOYZ, I 'EARD OVA NEW WAY TO FOIGHT! A 'UMIE WAY, THEY DO IT 'FORE DA SKRAP BEKAUSE DEYZ KAN'T SHOUT LOUD LOIK AN ORK. THEY CALLZ IT AN 'INZULT'. 'ERE, I'LL START:
YOU STINK SO BAD, YOUZ MUSTA SPORED FROM DA DROPS AFTA KURRY NIGHT!
17:15 UTC