I AN ORKZ HERE I AM KURIOUZ HOW YOU ELDARZ WOULDZ ACCOMODATE BILLIARDZ TO FIT DA TASTEZ OF YOURZ KULTUREZ?

HEREZ WOTZ I'D DO IF I WERE A WARBOZZ ZO BILLIARDZ WOULD BECOME AN APPROPRIATELY ORKY GAME.

TAKE A BUNCH OF SPACE MARINEZ OF DIFFERENT COLLORZ, LAY THEM INSIDED A TRIANGLEZ THINGY AND GETZ DA WARBOZZ OR SOME OTHER GIANTZ ORKZ TO START HITTY HITTY DEM WITH A BIG CUE STICKZ. USING A WHITE SPACE MARINE AS DA CUE BALL.

EVERY TIME DA SPACE MARINEZ FALLZ INTO DA HOLE, HE GOEZ INTO A PECIALZ ROOMZ WHERE HE GETS TORTURED BY GROTZ.

IF ANY OF DEMZ STILL ALIVEZ AFTER DA LAST OF DEM FALLZ INTO DA HOLEZ, YOU GET DEM FROMUNDER DA TABLEZ AND STACKZ DEM INTO DA TRIANGLE THINGY AGAIN FOR ANOTHER ROUND. IF ZOME DIED FROM DA GROTZ PLAYING WITH DEMZ, JUST GETZ REPLACEMENTZ MARINEZ FROM DA MEKBOYZ OR PAINBOYZ OR WHOEVER CAPTUREZ SPACE MARINEZ ALIVEZ. HELL DA GROTZ MIGHT KILL DEMZ ALL SO JUSTZ BUY A WHOLE NEW SETZ!

DA WARBOZZEZ CAN EVEN BATTLE EACH OTHER THROUGH DIZ BILLIARDZ TO DECIDEZ WHOZ ON DA TOP OF DA WAAAGGH AS DA LEADERZSO A CIVIL WARZ DON'T STARTZ AND DA WAAGH REMAINS UNITED WITH A CLEAR HEADZ WITHOUT LOZING A BUNCH FROM INFIGHTINGZ.

SO I WONDERINGZ WOTZ YOU KNOIFE EARZ WOULD DO TO ELDERIFY DA SPORT?

Several space marines are seen running toward the Eldar base while being chased by an amalgamated army of unpainted models begging to be painted

I WATCHED ALL NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET MOVIES. SO HOW WOULD YOU TAU HANDLE HIZ THREAT? WOULD HE KILL LOTA OF YOU SISSY KNIFE EARZ BEFORE YOU REALIZE THE THREAT AND TAKE COUNTERMEAZURES LIKE HOW HE KILLED LOTS OF HUMIE GITZ IN ALL HIZ MOVIEZ?

I AM AN ORKZ WHO JUSTZ WATCHED ANTHONY BOURDAIN SHOWS AND OTHER PEOPLEZ LIKE HIMZ. SO I AM GONNA TRY DA CUISINEZ ALL OVER DA GALAXY.

HOW DO ELDARS TASTEZ LOIKE? I WANT TO TRY ONE BUT THERE'Z NONE AROUND IN THIS SEZTIONZ OF DA GALAXY!

Human Inquisitor on intel gathering mission here. I already asked the Orks about this but now I'm checking out what other species think about it. What do you Eldars think of Cthulhu? Would it be possible to accept him into the ranks of Eldari civilization?

Human Inquisitor here. I've been studying the Orks for a month and so my new assignment is to start learning about other Xenos. I just started getting into Eldars Civilization 101.

Blood Bowl the favorite past time of Orks outside of fighting and waging Wars. How do Eldars see the game?

Just an FYI for fellow 40K Text RolePlayers! r/40kTauScience Has finally been Published!

We Need Eldars participating in the Sub as the T'au Empire seeks to learn your culture so we can intergrate you into it as we continue the fight for the greater good. No need for war and as a T'au messenger I believer peaceful coexistence between our civilizations is completely possible.

(PRETEND YOU ARE AN ELDAR WITH ENOUGH UNDERSTANDING OF HUMAN NATURE TO UNDERSTAND THE SHOW AND ACT AS THOUGH XENA WAS AN ACTUAL PERSON WHOSE ADVENTURES REALLY HAPPENED. TREAT HER AS THOUGH A RUMOUR EXIST SHE'S STILL ALIVE AND HIDING SOMEPLACE IN THE GALAXY AND ACT LIKE HER WHOLE TV SHOW WAS A NONFICTION DOCUMENTARY).

I have been delving into human records and came across the entire historical footage of her whole life that the humans were able to salvage.

What do the Eldars as a whole think of her? Supposing the rumors are true that she is still alive and hidden somewhere int he Galaxy, I think she is enough of a threat that we should search out and exterminate her before she units the Humans under one banner and leads a Crusade against us Eldars.

We should hold a council over this.

TIL

Greetings fellow humans! I am a perfectly normal human, unremarkable in every way and possessed of many of the qualities you find sympathetic.

I come from a planet you’ve definitely never heard of, and shouldn’t ask for details about, and have come to earn your trust by sharing a useless but interesting piece of knowledge in accordance with what I understand to be our tradition.

So, we’re all familiar with the evil but strangely fashionable and compelling race of beings known as the Eldrith Yn… um Dark Eldar, are we not? Well as it happens, the Aeldari word ‘drukhari’ does not mean Dark Eldar, as many of y- us mistakenly believe.

Let’s break the word into its component parts, shall we? Firstly, “dru” is the Kerunos form of the state ‘direl,’ or ‘evil’ in our own, much less sophisticated tongue, and translates approximately to ‘corrupted,’ which strikes the author as somewhat slanderous.

The second component, ‘kha,’ or ‘sorrow,’ derived from ‘khir,’ or ‘ despair,’ is little better. Since the Aeldari use kha as an expression of apology, it seems ill fitting, as the True- Dark Eldar that is, apologize for absolutely nothing and never will (or so I’m given to understand).

The situation is greatly improved, however, by the addition of ‘ri’ or ‘activate,’ derivative of rillis (to shoot), suggestive of being the cause of sorrow in others rather than its recipients.

Fascinating, yes?

Now that we’ve all let our guards down, let’s engage in idle palaver. For no particular reason, how effective would you say your planet’s defenses are? In the event of, say, an aerial assault, and can you provide details?

Brilliant! How fun. Here’s another Aeldari word: Furtafar!

See you later 😏

I recently ran into one of the illusive Outcasts called Exodites and even though he brought the conversation to an hasty end for reasons which illude me yet, scratches the green chin poking out from underneath the wraithbone mask I managed to ascertain that these Exodites ride some sort of warbeasts. The reason being that the Aeldari stammered something about his mount needing his attention before disappearing with the swiftness of your... I mean our damnable kind.

But now I wonder what kind of beasts they ride. Going by the usual Aeldari Standarts they must be swift, frail and gangly, or not? Maybe something like those weird tounge-horses I've seen Daemonettes ride.

I beseech the spirits to bring me someone with deeper knowledge about this topic, so that they can enlighten me!

Dear Aunt Yr’arae,

To: The Commorragh Times and Tibulations, lifestyle dept; marked for the attention of the desk of the Agony Aunt

Dear Aunt Yr’arae, I apologize for flinging this letter through your window at speed from my jetbike, and assure you that the blood is most definitely not my own. Well, most of it. Probably.

I recently had the great good fortune to attract the notice of the most beautiful woman in all the City, (a claim I stand prepared to defend with someone else’s life), a Wych as cruel as she is lovely. I’m convinced that she is the only woman for me- she revels in torment nearly as much as I crave suffering at her skilled hand. The only trouble is in persuading her to further depths of sadism, as I’ve become most piteously addicted to the agony she is so skilled in inflicting. I went so far as to lose a race on purpose and only skillful flying preserved my life, which earned me a very satisfactory punishment, but if she suspects that I’m trying she will withhold the pain I crave (isn’t she amazing?) Please, how can I obtain more and deeper suffering at her hand without her knowing that is what I’m doing? I’m a very good shot and my jetbike Mourning Maiden is second only to one, Lady Lachrymose, which belongs to my longtime companion and is an admirable death trap, although of course I would never say so to his face. I’m not sure if that helps but if you can give me any advice you may consider the person/s of your choosing dead, and I do apologize about the window. In haste (as usual), Akrivis, Reaver of Sorrow’s End

A small gathering of of Aeldari linger in a forested bio-dome as night begins to fall. One of them, an older Aeldari woman, tells the gathered children a delightful fairy tale about the wave serpent. A pair of younger Aeldari sit beside the small starlight lake and speak of their dreams of the future.

a collection of aeldari walk through the streets, one is a tall Harlequin man, a few knives on his belt who is pushing a pram with a sleeping eldar baby inside, his eyes and hair blue and he has a smile on his face as he speaks with a shorter harlequin woman with red hair and a set of dual pistols on her belt, her eyes are red and she also has a wide grin. Next to them strides a tall Drukhari woman, younger than the harlequins, her eyes the same shade of blue as the harlequin man’s, in black and blue armour, her right gauntlet is missing however. Close by is an intimidating Death Jester, the eyeholes of her mask glowing blue.

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https://preview.redd.it/n4k8tk3k4rh71.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a3bb16756eedc897766de8cadf11b9908cd99a44

A Ork dressed in the garments of a Farseer and a crude wraithbone mask steps onto a stage.

Greetings fellow Aeldari and assorted representatives of the lesser races.

Our Hub is back and again open to anyone. But from now on only real characters can talk here and share their knowledge about our humble universe. No more whispering from spirits from beyond this world which blather about information to universal for even Aeldari to know.

You must make it clear who you are and what you are when you choose to raise your voice in our hub. More rules about what you should consider when doing this will follow, but until then you should simply heed our advise that was previously made known for the happenings called "Roleplay Rolecall".

Have fun again, Asuyani, Drukhari, Harlequins and Whatnot more!

The main reason they go in raids outside Commorragh is becayse they need slaves, however every time they do so they risk their lives even if they prepare all their actions and are safe most of the time. Wouldn't it be simpler to clone some slaves to have an unlimited supplies? Some could be used for torture and the other for manual works.

Morr is an absolute fucking Chad, an Incubus who is thousands of years old and killed more beings that one could count. He is probably the second best Incubus (I am talking about fighting skills) after Drazhar himself. However, what many people don't know, is that he wasn't born in the Dark City.

‘That world was your home once upon a time, wasn’t it, Morr?’

The silence stretched for long moments before the incubus answered.
‘That was my home long ago,’ Morr said slowly. ‘Ushant, a maiden world. It is my eternal shame that I was born there of Exodite blood.’ Morr paused again and gazed down at Motley, his blankfaced helm studying the harlequin for indications of judgment or contempt. Motley smiled back uncertainly and feebly waved a hand for the incubus to continue.
Morr snorted.
‘Perhaps you had imagined all maiden worlds to be virginal paradises like Lileathanir? Not so, Ushant. My elders told me that the world was once covered by mighty oceans, but in my time they had become little more than deserts. The Exodite clans were hardy and endured, some even thrived. They remained numerous if not prosperous throughout the slow draining of the seas. Fourteen centuries before my birth the clans gathered to fight off an invasion entering Ushant through the gate that we just used.’ Morr nodded across to the greenly glowing pool and lapsed into silence.
‘Were they victorious?’ Motley prompted. ‘The peace they won would seem to have been sadly temporary if they did.’
‘The clans were victorious but they became cursed in the process. In the conflict they learned new ways of making war from their enemies. Crude, indiscriminate, effective ways. Once the immediate threat was overcome the clans turned their war machines on each other.’
‘What?’ Motley was incredulous. ‘Why would they do that?’
‘Honour, pride and stupidity in equal measure. The dispute began over which clan should control the gate and guard against future incursions. The strongest clans – the Far Light and the Many Islands – each opposed the other gaining the prestige of controlling the gate. The two sides’ blood-kin and allies aligned with them in pressing their claims. Many had become so invested in making war during the conflict with the invaders, so my elders said, that they were loathe to give it up when peace was won.’
‘Tragic,’ Motley frowned unhappily. ‘I’m ashamed no one came to intercede and make peace between the clans.’
Morr laughed, a mordant cough of humour soaked in bile and bitterness. ‘Oh, they came. Many times. Finely dressed ascetics came from those drifting cradles we call craftworlds to tell us how to improve our lot. They hid behind their masks and shed crocodile tears at our misfortunes while discomforting themselves not one iota to help. In my own time they came once again and sat in judgment of us like celestial beings that had reluctantly descended into the common muck. They had finally tired of the dispute and announced their intention to give their support to the survivors of the Far Light clan.’
Motley pursed his lips but did not speak as he wondered which craftworld it was that had so thoroughly bungled their guardianship of Ushant. Each craftworld accepted nominal responsibility for a number of the maiden worlds scattered across the great wheel. Some viewed the maiden worlds as the hope for the future of the eldar race, the seeds from which the eldar might once more grow to prominence on the galactic stage. Other craftworlds viewed the maiden worlds as no more than a burden, mere primitive backwaters, the resource-sucking wreckage left behind by a failed survival plan.
‘Instead of quelling the conflict the decision lent it renewed vigour. The Many Islands clan attacked the Far Light and their craftworld patrons that very night… they appeared to be surprised by this turn of events. They defended themselves poorly.’ Morr’s helm tilted up at the memory, its bloodstone tusks catching the light and creating the illusion that they were slicked with fresh gore.
‘Is that when you saw the figure that you followed?’
‘Arhra,’ Morr spoke the name with conviction. ‘Make no mistake – it was Arhra himself that came to me then. He told me without words that I was worthy to test my strength at his shrine. He challenged me to do so.’
‘The legends say that Arhra was destroyed.’
‘Nothing ever truly dies.’

Path of the Incubus

Nurgle is not an option since he is constantly torturing Isha but these two Chaos gods could protect the souls of the Eldar who would come to serve them. I mean the Chaos gods are enemies among themselves and they even hate each other.

I understand they hate chaos but it would be strange that none of them would think of doing that

Context: The realm of Shaa-dom was destroyed when Vect threw a fucking imperial ship on it, creating a rift and flooding the realm with demons. Now, many thousands years later, group of Drukhari visit this place and see what happened to those that survived.

Xyriadh was the first to spot one of the soulless.

It was a wretchedly emaciated figure squatting on the curb ahead of them, arms locked around knees and rocking gently. It raised its face at their approach, its luminous, hungry eyes searching hopelessly, slack jaw working mindlessly. It could sense a presence nearby but did not seem able to perceive them properly. It whined in frustration as it cast about seeking the souls it could feel nearby.
They edged around the creature and moved onwards with many backward glances from Sindiel.
‘That’s what happens if your soul is taken by... Her... isn’t it?’ he whispered to Aez’ashya.
‘If you’re lucky,’ she replied. ‘That one must have had some shred of intelligence left to it. Most don’t have so much self-possession.’
Sindiel shuddered. At the edge of his consciousness he could sense a dull, keening wail that seemed caught forever on the verge of rising to a shriek. His sense of vulnerability constantly left him weak at the knees as he trudged onwards. He couldn’t shake the idea from his mind that the times of the Fall must have been something like this, only infinitely worse.
The feelings of bravado that haddriven him here had evaporated and now he clung to his sinister companions desperately, terrified of being left behind.
Soon they encountered more soulless wretches wandering aimlessly through the streets, clustering in small groups here and there. The structures around them were becoming more ruinous as they wormed their way into the guts of the slaughtered city; increasing numbers of them were just empty shells staring hollow-eyed across blasted lots. The flames on the horizon were closer now, forming aneerie blue-green aurora that covered half the sky.
Many of the soulless seemed to be pathetically re-enacting parts of their lost lives, strolling with dead friends, visiting destroyed bazaars.

Path of the Renegade

So yeah, pretty much zombies, but somehow even sadder.

These beings cannot feel pain anymore but I heard Dark Eldar can torture metal somehow. Do they have a way to torture such beings?

If they decided to all follow Vect and use all the technology at their disposal (their many plagues that turn people into light, the fact they can move suns wherever they want, their deathray portals next to a sun they can open wherever the enemy is, their black hole guns,...) all the while striking at many different positions, how well would they fare in general against the different factions?

They are my favourite race but they all seem to quite stuck up (I don't mind that) but I wonder if some of them are more somewhat a joke and funny, like the Orks for example.

Greetings my space borne kin. It has been a while since I have spoken in the webway-net but here I am yet again. It has been many decades since my last speaking and I am at that life point in life yet again where I am considering my options. I, Ezkha’eel of Corsair Fleet “Maugan-hrathi” (We recently had a change in name and leadership. I am still a captain though) will always remain in the life of the Anhrathe. Cutting down enemies and stealing baubles for money, that is what Isha, Vaul, Asuryan and whatever Gods are there have ordained for me.

But fast approaching is the time of change. My younger sister Eli’jha (If you would remember from earlier posts). Has grown into a beautiful and powerful psyker. As well, recently begun her trials to choose her path in life. And recently I have felt a shifting in our dynamic as she has become more and more independent. I fear letting her go despite literal lifetimes of memories. Is she ready to leave? No doubt. But am I ready for her to leave is another question. One that troubles me so.

I would ask, what would you all do in this situation? She seems bent on becoming a farseer, would they accept her despire being of unknown origin and growing up in an Anhrathe fleet? Would she be safe and happy while I am off living my own life? Would she remember me? All these things plague me with each passing craft cycle. So I beg yet again, what would you all do? Have you gone through something similar? Is this even a normal thing for our people to feel?

Those eldar are among the fastest of their race, they can be so fast it's hard to see them. So what would you need to actually hit them? I know an exterminatus could be an option but I'm talking about less destructive weapons.

Hi! I’m Mul! Most of you have probably seen me around, alongside this subreddit I’m active on another subreddit called r/40kscience, it’s a subreddit focused on RP specifically set in the world of 40k. We are pretty welcoming (if a bit confusing at first) and are happy for any new peeps to join.

To get started I would recommend reading the rules, the weekly wtf written by u/AunLaTauKovash, Clone’s Guide to Roleplaying by u/goodclone1 and making an introductory post describing your character(s). I play three factions, the Tainted Angels, who are a harlequin troupe that I also use occasionally on here, the Mourning Veil, a Haemonculus Coven with many plots and plans and the Mulbernus Dynasty, a Rogue Trader Dynasty that is only slightly completely backstabby. So if you like, check us out! You don’t have to play aeldari and like I say, we are pretty welcoming.

Eldar have quite an advanced technology and Craftworlds are the most precious thing they have. Do we know how powerful their shields are? What did they withstand already? and what did it took to break them?

Greetings once again, esteemed folk of yore, ambassador trainee Por'Saal Kior here.

Due to widely varying experiences during my still short permanence here (including a close escape from one of the most... unpleasant examples) it became clear to me that your species is fractured in several culturally different subfactions, in a way that dreadfully remind me of our own age of nightmare, the Mon'Tau.

This further strenghtens my conviction on how massively you would benefit from integration in the Tau'va, but at the same time time makes me wonder: how such noble being, as many of you are, could tolerate the vicious darkness that nestle within your own ranks... how could two of the same kin be so far away?

To: The Commorragh Times and Tribulations; marked for the attention of the Lifestyle dept., desk of the Agony Aunt

Dear Aunt Yr’ae, I am turning to you in anguished desperation, for as Archon of a small but exclusive Kabal it is a rare thing indeed for me to display any shortcomings whatsoever, let alone to find myself at the capacity of my vast imagination, but my Dracon/lover has so infuriated me that the extermination of a planet, slaying a monstrous chitinous creature with venomous claws in the arena, and three consecutive days of torturing captives have scarce made a dent in my emotional anguish. He’s far too useful to be gotten rid of, and most gratifyingly flattering (ever a weakness of mine, I fear) but his infuriating tendency to persist in being less than utterly subservient and obedient to my every whim is like to drive me to madness. I pray you, of your wisdom, advise me as to the surest means of inflicting the agony he so richly deserves while maintaining my all-important facade of indifference, and I assure you you will not find me forgetful of your good help and council. I can be most open-handed with those who please me, but first I must devise some means to assure that his devotion and fealty belong entirely, and only, to myself, such that he will bend all his thought and will solely to my noble pleasure as is befitting.

I await your reply with melodramatic apprehension, and remain Your Obedient Servant, Archon V.T.

I'm Por'Saal Kior, a trainee of the honored Tau Water Caste... fret not, as i absolutely mean no harm!

As one of the tests to obtain the full state of official diplomat of the Ethereals' domains, i've been given a most noble task by my Por'Ui: to travel here and observe, analyze and report the natural behavior, psichology and response to Tau presence of your fascinating kin, to be used to futher foster our species' relations and, of course, smooth your future integration into the Tau'Va. In this i will be aided by my Kor'vesa DY-4, who will be of invaluable use during my permanence in your domain.. not everyone can appreciate it, but drones equipped with the proper personality matrix make for outstanding companions... and do you know he can also recite all the writings left to us by the legendary Por'O'Dalyth Kais Twi Lui'tan, none other than the Golden Ambassador himself? I would be glad to let any Aeldari partake in his wisdom aswell if he/she so you wish!

So, my esteemed friends, don't mind my presence and act as you would in your own homes; but if you would also happen to have tips or info beneficial to our shared interests, do not withold you wits and share away!

Creatures;

I come to you with a request from the great and magnificent Planetary Governor that i call Master, whose precise identity is not of your concern: he specifically instructed me to seek your doomed, rotting kind to obtain an item of great importance: a "finest piece of Eldar ass", in His blessed words.

Henceforth, you are required to present to me the most suitable canditate for the extraction of such "ass", who will then undergo a surgical removal of the aforementioned area at once. The rest of its biomass will be processed separately and might even be graced by the attention of savants far beyond your league, the infallible Magos Biologis of the Imperium (praised be Their sublime work).

Retribution for such noble endeavour (i wonder if you can even grasp such concept...) is a relatively* quick and painless** death, whose plentiful boons include - along many others - freeing yourself (and our galaxy) from a pathetic, overdue existence and the knowledge that the resultant carcass will be of use to mankind, something your kin could hardly aspire to during such long yet cowering lives.

I urge you to be swift in your compliance, for i am a busy man and have no time to waste dabbling with retrograde Xenos, in fact i must stress how i despise having to wadle through your tainted holdings in the first place.

​

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* such relativity is relative.

** no guarantees for miscreants.