ONE OF DA BIG UMIS, DA ONE WITH ALL THE WIREZ IN IZ EAD, NOT THE PROPER ANGRY ONE, DA OTHA ONE! IN DA BIG METAL SUIT WITH ALL THE SILVERY SPIKEY BOYZ? HE KAN SPEEK ORKISH! ALL OUR SEKRET MESSAGEZ ARE NOT SEKRET ANYMORE! HE KOLD EVEN BE READIN THIS HERE MESSAGE ROUGHT NOW!

IZ GOT YER PIZZAH OHDAH!

WUT YOUZ GITZ OHDAH?!

SO, SUM UV YA MIGHT KNOW DAT I'Z A MEK, IM NOT NO BIG-MEK BUT I'M DA BEZT DAT DA WARBOZZ UV OUR GRUP 'AZ ROIGHT NOW UND WE'Z GOTZ A BIG PROBLEM DER AIN'T NO GUD SKRAP ON DIZ DAMN PLANET! WE'Z BEEN STUCK 'ERE FER YEARS UND DA BOZZ WUZ A FREEBOOTAH BEFORE 'E GOT SHOT DOWN 'ERE ABOUT FIFTY YEARZ AGO DA WAY DA LOKAL 'UMEZ TELL TIME.

ANYWAYZ, DIZ AINT GORKAMORKA, IF YOUZ IS FINKIN' DAT, IT'Z SUM UVER PLANET DAT DON' GOTZ NO SKRAPPZ WORF A 'ALF-ROTTEN TOOF, BUT WOT IT DUZ 'AVE IZ DEEZ REALLY OLD BITZ A TEK KALLED "JUMPAZ" BY DA LOCAL GITZ! DEZ FINGS WUZNT MADE BY ORKZ, BUT SUMAT ELZ, DOH WE DON' KNOW HOO, BUT DEYZ IS EACH WUN A BIG PLATFORM DA SIZE 'UV DA BACK-END UV A 'HOL KRUZER, DAT'Z A HEX SHAPE UND AZ SIX 'ALF-HEX ARCHES RIZIN ABOVE IT DAT IFIN YA MEZZ WIF IT JUZ ROIGHT PROPA UND YA GETZ ENUF UV DA BOYZ UND A FEW DOZEN UV DA GOBBOS, GROTZ, UND GRETCHEN ONTA IT AND ALL STARTZ DRUMMIN ON DRUMS UND POUNDING YA FEETZ UND REVVIN' DA ENGINZ UV DA TRUKKZ REAL LOUD UND DAT, DEN YA YELLZ "WAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!" ALL AT WUNC UND REAL-LOUD-LOIK IT'S GONNA MAKE DIZ BIG BALL UV GREEN LIGNIN AT DA TOP UV DA ARCH UND DEN DEREZ A PEEAL UV TUNDER UND YA ON SUM UVER WORLD LOIK YA WAS JUST WHERE YA WUZ BEFOR BUT KINDA FRON ROUND IGLDY-PIGGELDY A LITTLE BIT, RIOGHT?

WELL, WE'Z ORKZ ON DIZ PLANET DAT I WUZ BORN ON DIDN'T FINK DERE WUZ ANY UV DEEZ FINGS LEFT WOT 'ADDENT BEEN FOUND UND MESSED WIF LOIK DAT YEARS UND YEARS AGO, BUT A KUPEL UV MONFZ AGO DA BOZZ WUZ FEELIN' A BIT 'OMESICK FER BEEIN A FREEBOOTAH, UND ME ANZ IM WOZ TALKIN BOUT DA LIFE STYLE BECAUSE DA SCOUTZ 'ADENT FOUND NUFIN WORF RAIDIN IN A FEW DAYS UND I'D RUN OUTTA SKRAPPZ TA MAKE ANY FIN EXCEPT FER SUMAT BIG, UND DOZ IZ ARD ENUF TA GET 'ERE DAT I WOZ SAVIN' 'EM, ROIGHT?

WELL, IT POPZ INTA MY BRAIN, YA KNOW 'OW DAT 'APPENZ, DAT WE COULD UZE DOZ SAME BITZ A BIG SKRAPPZ TA MAKE A BOAT! NOW, DAT AIN'T NO KRUZER, BUT IT'S DA NEKZT BEZT FING TA WUN, UND DA BOZZ GOT DIZ WIERD LOIGHT IN 'IZ EYEZ UND 'E SAID "SKRAP WOTEVAH YA GOTTA TA DO IT, BUT MAKE ME DAT SHIP!" SO WE'Z DID WEZ FINISHED IT A KUPEL UV MONFZ AGO UND PACKED DA 'OLE GANG ABOARD DA FING, YOUZ SHOULD SEEZ IT, GOTZ GUNZ UND RUNWAYS FER DA BOMAHZ UND EVERYFING! WELL, WE WENT OUT TA SEA UND WE'Z WAS GOIN ROUND RAIDING UVER BOYZ UND SUM 'UMIES ON A FEW ISLANDS UND WOTNOT, BUT DEN DEREZ DIZ UGE STORM SEE? UND WEZ WOUND UP SOMAT WE'Z NEVA BEEN BEFORE WERE DA STARZ IS WRONG UND FINGS LOIK DAT, BUT WHERE WE FETCHED UP WOZ SUM BIG ISLAND WIF 'UMES UND FINGS LOIK DAT TA KRUMP! BUT DAMN IF DEY WASN'T GUD FER KRUMPIN, DEY DIDZN'T EVEN TRY TA FIGHT WEN WE KRUMPIN DEY LEADAZ UND DAT! BUT WOT DEY WOZ GUD FER WOZ TELLIN' DA BOZZ WHERE WE COULD GO TA FIND SOMAT DAT WOULD FOIGHT, UND UT WOZ A DOOZY, DIZ BUNCHA 'UGE METAL ROBOT GITZ GUARDING SOME TOMB OR SUMFIN LOIK DAT WOT WUZ BIG UND UNDERGROUND UND FINGS UND A WHOLE ARMY UV SMALLAH WUNS DAT SAID "ROJAH-ROJAH" A LOT BEFORE WE KRUMPIN EM GUD, ROUGHT? LOTZA GREAT SKRAPPZ!

DA REAL PRIZE WOZ AT DA BOTTOM UV DA WOL TOOM DOH, DERE WUZ WUN UV DA JUMPAZ DOWN DERE! BUT IT AINT BEEN "ORKIFIED" YET UND IT WON WORK LOIK DA UVER JUMPAZ DO. SO DAT'Z WHY I IS ASKIN FER YA 'ELP, DA BOZZ UND DA REZT UV DA BOYZ IS COUNTIN ON ME TA ORKAFY DIZ FING UND MAKE IT WORK LOIK DA UVERZ DO, BUT I IZ NO BIG-MEK YET, I DON'T KNOW 'OW TA DOEZ IT!

SO PLEASE, ALL YA BIG-MEKS OUT DERE, 'ELP ME OUT WIF DIZ! IF WE'Z 'AD A JUMPAH ALL TA OURSELVES, ME, DA BOZZ, UND DA UVER BOYZ, WE COULD GETZ ENUF SKRAPPZ TA BUILD A REAL KRUZER, DA KIND DAT GO IN SPACE, NOT ON DA WATAH, UND FINALLY GET DA 'ECK OFFA DIZ WORFLESS RAWK, PERMANEN' LOIK! (NOT DA WAY DA JUMPAZ DOEZ IT WHERE YA GO FER A WEEK OR TWO, BUT DEN GETZ AN ITCHY FEELIN' FER A COUPLE UV DAYS UND DEN GET YANKED BACK TA DA JUMPAH WIF ONLY WOTEVAH YA CARRIN' ROUND AT DA TIME. DAT'Z KINDA OKAY FER LOOTIN, BUT IT DONT LET UZ STAY GONE!)

OI FINK DA SHOOTY 'UNZ LIKE DA GIT MEGA-TRON OR BUM-BL-BEE IS GOOD...THEIR WAY OF FOIGHTING IS O'LRIGHT? IM FINKING TRYING TA PAINT ONE DA ORKY WAY AND TAKE DEM TO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!

Scene beginz to show a boss sitting on a rock, looking out at da sunset. One of his grots is standing guard nearby. A boy comes up and sees him.

Boy: "Ey, hoos dat?"
Grot: "Dats da great ork Arisgrotles!"
Boy: "Is he one of them mekboyz?"
Grot: "He woz, til one of his big gunz blew up and a burning squig landed on his head. Now he's one of them filo... filos... filos... finker types."
Boy: "Wot use is finkin?"
Grot: "He finks up new wayz to foight!"
Boy: "Why do we need new wayz? Nuffin wrong with a regulah foight."
Grot: "He told some da boyz to dress up as beakies and sneak near da humies! Dey fought dey was real beakies till they woz too close not to get krumped!"

Boy: *laughs heartily "Well maybe there is some gud to dis finking bisness. He fink up anything else?"

Grot: "Yes! He funk of seatbeltz!"
Boy: "Wot are seatbeltz?"
Grot: "We strap da grots to rokkits to steer, or to squigs. We tell them it's to keep dem safe but really it's so dey don't fall off and have to steer to hit da humies.'

Boy: "He seems a very cleva ork!"
Grot: "Look at dat, he's about to speak!"

Arisgrotles: "Me think... maybe ork not kill ork."

Boy and grot look at each other.

both: "NEVER MIND, HE'S JUST ANOTHER GIT! KRUMP HIM!"

Forgive my ignorance, I am trying to learn.

If Orks have a sort of hive mind passive psychic ability to warp reality. Where picking up any pipe can shoot like a gun if held like a gun. What about picking up any handle and turning it into a plasma sword as long as you go "vrrrm vrrm krsh' while swinging it.

Or after watching movies where a special folded sword can cut through the side of an armored tank. Doea that affect the reality as a "widely believed fact"?

OI LADZ, LISTEN UP!

SO I WAZ KRUMPIN SOME HUMMIES WHEN I SAW ONE OF DEM HADZ A BOOK. NOW NORMALLY I WOULD JUS KEEP FIGHTIN AND KRUMPIN, BUT DEN I SAW THE BIG LETTAS FOR DA BOOK TITLE.

IT WAS CALLED "DA ART OF WAAAAAGH"

I DIDN'T KNOW HUMMIES WROTE ABOUT HOW DO DO A WAAAAGH! DA REST OF THE BOOK IS TOO SMALL FOR ME TA READS, BUT ITS WRITTEN BY SOME HUMMIE CALLED SUN TZU! I NEEDS A BOU TO HELP ME READS DA BOOK WHILE WE GO AND FIND DIS HUMMIE FOR A PROPA FIGHT!

WHY TOO FIN COATZ? FHIC COATZ R BETTAH! FHIC COATZ KEEP YA NICE ‘N WARM ROIGHT WEN YA FOIGHT OUT IN DA COLD! FHIC COATZ IS LIKE ARMAH, COULD TAKE MOAR DAKKAH TO YAS SO U CAN KEEP KRUMPIN BEFOR YA GET KRUMPED! YOU TAKE YA LIL GITS, DUNK EM STRAI INTO THA POT! DAT WAY YOO GET MORE PAINT ON ‘EM! DAT MEANZ MORE RED MAKES YA MORE FASTER! MOAR BLOO MAKES YA LUCKYER! MOAR PURPLE WOULD MAKE YA MOAR SNEAKY, IFFIN YA COULD FIND PURPLE TO BEGIN WIF!

STUPID UMIES TAKE TWO LONG, TWO MANY RULES TA PAINT SOME LIL GITS! JUST DUNK SUM GRETCHIN IN PAINT, GIV EM SUM SHOOTAS N STABBAS, THERE YA GO!

I'Z 'EARD ABOUT A BEAKY WAR BOSS, NAMED TYBEROS DA RED WAKE, I 'EARD E'S GOT EYES SO BALEFUL IT PUTS DA OL' BALE EYE TO SHAME! YA KNOW DA BUG FINGS? DAT GIT KRUMPED LOTZ OF EM JUST BOY 'IMSELF! 'E MIGHT BE A HUMIE AT DA END, BUT OI CAN'T WAIT TA KRUMP 'IM AND 'IS BEAKYZ SO I COULD RIP DA SHORK TEEF OUT 'UV 'DERE ARMOR!

WHOI DID DAT CHICKEN FING CROSS DA ROAD? WAZ HE LEADIN' A WAAAAAGH! OR SUMFING?

SUMWUN PLEEZ 'ELP ME OWT, OI'M SO KONFUZED

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH

The Ork has climbed to the top of an unfinished building. Orks watch on the Hairy Ork starts throwing barrels from the building and rolling them down the scaffolding.

#OOK OOK OOK!

Beats chest in aggressive manner

IZ AIN'T AKTUELLY A GREEN ORK! IZ A PUHPLE ORK DAT PAHNTED MESELF GREEN! IZ WUZ LONELY KUZ NOBODY WULD TALK OR NOTICE MEZ!

ME IS GETTIN SAD CUZ ALL DER UMIES ON DER REDDITZ IS SAYIN STOOOPID JIBBER JABBERS. DAYZ MADDER DEN A BITEY SQUIG WID DER RABIES. NOT TALKING SENZ LIKE YUZ GUZ. DAYS NOT EVEN KNOWN MORK AND GORK.

AND WHY ARE DA PURPLE GITZ SO EASY TO SEE?

New to the 40k terminology but she loves orcs. I drew Mork and gork but I is lost. Please give me your best invites to prom. I really want to impress her.

WE'Z WAS USIN' IT TA FUEL DA BOSS'S NU WAGGON, BUT NOW WE'Z USIN GROTZ AN' SPARE DAKKA! DA BOYZ SAY WE'LL NEVVA GET TO DA WAAARGH IN TIME, AND DAT MEANZ NO GOOD SCRAP OR KRUMPING.

The speedmek's second grot in command rolls followed by grots piloting empty trukks. The grot pulls out a loudspeaker and shouts: ALL RIGHSH. MEE AN DA RESH OV DA SCHPEEDMESH'S AV IDDENSH ALL DA SCHINY BITS. YOOZ KAN BEGINSH TA LOOK FER DEMSH NOW! SHEPT YOOZ SCHINKIN BLOODSH ACSHES HOO SCHPIDSH ON US TOO SEE WERE DA LOOTSH WENT! The trukkss cough up several orks who have been severely beaten up.

OH ZOG ME, LISTEN, I DUNNO 'OW MUCH TIME I'Z GOT LEFT, FINGS ARE-

a massive explosion can be heard in the distance, followed by the pained screams of several orks

FINGS ARE BAD, REAL ZOGGING BAD. ROIGHT, SO, IZ A BLOOD AXE KOMMANDO, ME NAME IS GARGUZ GITSTABBA, I IZ UH... I WUZ APART OF WAAAGH BIG ZAG, BUT FINGS 'AVE GONE SO ZOGGING WRONG. DA BOSS IZ DEAD, EVERYFINGS ON FIRE, ALL DA LADS ARE TRYING TO FIGHT BUT NONE OF EM CAN REALIZE WHO DA ENEMY IZ BEFORE DEY GET SCRAGGED.

DATZ BECAUSE DA ENEMY AINT COMING FROM WITHOUT, DEY IZ COMING FROM WITHIN. IT'Z DA ZOGGING GROTS! NOBODY FINKS DAT GROTS CAN BE A THREAT SO DEY JUST OVERLOOK EM LOOKING FOR "DA REAL ENEMY" BUT OH ZOGGING HELL YOU DON'T KNOW DA HALF OF IT

DEEZ GROTS, ITZ LIKE DEY DON'T CARE IF DEY DIE. WELL, OKAY YEAH NOBODY EXCEPT COWARDS CARE IF DEY DIE IN BATTLE, BUT DEEZ GROTS DON'T EVEN CARE IF DEY LOSE! IT'Z MADNESS.

AND I KNOW WHO'S BEHIND ALL DIS, IT'Z DA ZOGGING RED GOBBO. I KNOW YOU GITZ FINK DA RED GOBBO IS JUST A FUNNY STORY BOUT SOME JUMPED UP GROT, BUT DAT'S DA POINT! DA RED GOBBO IZN'T JUST A GROT, HE'Z A ZOGGING IDEA! EVEN IF YA KRUMP THE GIT, HE'LL LIVE ON THROUGH DA STORIES OF YOU KRUMPING HIM! SOME GROT IZ GONNA OVER HERE YA TALKING ABOUT DA RED GOBBO, AND DEN DEY IZ GONNA BECOME DA RED GOBBO, AND DEN YA GONNA GET KRUMPED!

the sound of battle continues to echo in the background, getting louder and louder

OH ZOG ME! LISTEN! STOP TALKING ABOUT DA RED GOBBO! DON'T LET DA LEGEND SPREAD! HE AIN'T JUST A MYTH! HE'Z REAL AND HE'Z A THREAT! HE'Z GONNA KILL US ALL YA 'EAR ME? HE'Z GONNA-

BANG

the sound of an ork's body falling to the floor can be heard over the vox, along with the mutterings of a grot

Uh, ignore wot dat git said, dunno wot he wuz on about. I fink he had some bad fungus brew or somefing.

the vox link goes dead

HEY YAH GIT ME AND DA BOYZ WAS KRUMPIN SOM OH DAY FISH FACES

DA ONES WITH DA JUMPY KANZ

WELL ONE EM YELLED FOR DA GRATER GOOD BUT WHAT IS DAT

IS IT LIKE GORK AND MORK THE BIGGEST BOSSES OF DEM ALL THE WAR BOSS OF THE WAR BOSSES

OR IS IT MOR SPIRTUL LIKE DA WAAAAGH OR DAH HUMIE EMPRAH

JUS LOIK DA TOITLE SAYZ. WOULD DA BUGGY GET ALLA DA TRAITZ O EACH EEN-DEE-VIDUA KOLAH OR WUD IT DO SOMTIN ELZ ENTOURLEE?

OI ALREDDY MIXXD UP A LITTA O EACH KOLOR AND IZ A WIERD DARK BRAWHN KOLAR. SHUDD OI MIX UP ENUFF TAE PAINTA BUGGY WIT IT AEND TEST AHT DA REZULTS?

Alright me fellow grots! Lissen here, cuz we got ta make a right kunnin plan to ovathrow da ork o-pressas an get da red gobbo to take control of da WAAAAGGGHH!!

We needz ta discus in da sum planz to make dem big, dum, greedy orks pay fer o-pressin us grots! Tell uz what sneaky like planz ya got!

Good fing i'z iz usin da secret gretchin talky site! Dat way, no orks can see our planz!

Oil yah gitz I got a question is it still DAKKA DAKKA if deh shoota ain't going DAKKA DAKKA

Like dah humie flashlight or dah fish faces guns or dah spess mairne plazma gun or the knife ears choppy shoota

I needz tah know got teef riding on dis

And for I get more gitz yelling at I AM A KOMMADO NOB so being quiet is muh ting

THIS GIT. IS GREEN AND KRUMPS LOTS OF ‘UMIES.

IS HE A HONORARY ORK?

I just wanted to go to the Helldivers subreddit to talk with my fellow Helldivers. What in sweet liberty is this place?

And why is everyone talking so weird?

IZ ERE TA ’ELP ALL YOUZ GITZ WAT DONT KNOZ ‘OW TA KOOK PROPA!

AZ YOUZ EVA SAID WHYZ ME GROT NOT TASTIN GOOD? DATS WAT IZ ERE FOR, ITZ DA SCIENCE OF KOOKIN. COZ IF YOUZ WANTZ TA KRUMP A GIT, YOUZ GOTZ TA KRUMP YA HUNGA FIRST.

FIRS FING WE’Z GONNA LEARN IZ DA PROPA WAY TA MAKE A KLASIK GROT KURRY. NOW DIZ MOIGHT SEEM A LOT A EFFAT, BUT YOUZ GOTTA TRUST IN DA WAYS WE DO IT, AFTA EATIN DISS YOUZ GONNA WONDA OW YOU EVA ATE RAW GROT.

MAKIN A GUD KURRY IZ REAL SIMPLE FIRST YOUZ GOTTA MAKE A BASE FROM VEGI-TA-BULLS DEEZE IZ DEM FINGS WOT ’UMIES GROW IN DA DIRT. I KALLS EM VEGIS, DEY TASTES WELL GUD. DA BEST ONE TA USE ‘ERE IS A NUNION, YOU GOTTA MASH UP DA NUNION GUD AN’ PROPA. ’MEMBA DA FIKNESS OF DA BASE IS OWEVER YOU LOIKEZ IT SOME GITZ LOIK IT FULL A CHUNKS, AN SOME OV US LOIK TA SMASH DA ONIONS TILL DEYZ PROPA SQUISHED AN OIZ GOTTA PAIST. DEREZ UVA VEGIS YOU KAN ADS ERE LOIK GARLEEK AN GIN-GUR, BUT WEZ GUNNA BE REEL SIMPLEZ.

DEN YOU KUKS DA VEGIS OVA SOMFIN HOT IN A POT, IF YOUZ GOT A FLAMA AN SUM SPACE DAT WURKS. DA NEXT STEP IS DA MOST IMPORTANT, PAY ATTENTION YOU GITZ! YOUZ GOTTA ADD DA SPOICES! DEEZE IS LOIKE VEGI-TA-BULLS BUT DEY MAKE DA DISH AV LOADSA DIFFERENT FLAVAS. DONT FINK TOO ARD ERE JUST MIX EM UP DIFFERENT TA MAKE LOADSA DIFFERENT KURRIES. IZ GONNA TASTE GUD, BUT DONT KUK EM TOO MUCH OR DEY GO BLACK AN TASTE RONG, LOIKE WHEN YA TAKE DA FLAMA TO KLOSE TO A GROT AN TRY TA EAT WOTS LEFT.

DEN YOU JUST ADD IN DA TO-MA-TOEZ ‘UMIE WORDS IZ DUMB, DEEZE IZ RED VEGIS, AN A STOOPID ‘UMIE TOLD ME IT WAZ SUMMIN KALLED A FROOT, SO I KRUMPED IM AN TOOK ALL HIS VEGIS. ANYWAYS I KALL DEEZE MATOEZ. YOU SQUISH DEEZE UP REAL GUD AN ADD IT TOO DA POT WIV YOR BASE AN SPOICES.

NOW KUMS DA FUN BIT, YOU CAN EIVA TAKE YOUZ GROT AN MASH IM UP NOW, OR WOT I LOIKES TA DO IZ DROP IM STRAIGHT IN DA POT AN LEAVE IT FOR A BIT. DIZ PROCESS MAKES DA GROT TASTE WAY MORE CHEWY AN FLAVAS IM GUD AN PROPA. DIS ALSO WORKS WIV UVA FINGS YOU CAN EAT LOIK SQUIGS OR ONE OV DEM LITTLE FINGS DAT ARE ON DA ‘UMIE PLANETS WIV DA LONG TAILS. BUT YA NEED LOTZA DEM. WOTEVA U USE IT MAKES IT WELL TASTY TA EAT. OI DID SOME MAFFS AN ACHULLY FOUND IT MADE ONE GROT FEED TWO A DA BOIZ, SOZ WE GOTS MORE GROTS TO SHOOT AT DA ‘UMIES TA GET MORE A’ DA VEGIS.

IF DIS IS YA FIRST TIME TRYIN A GROT KURRY, DEN I WELKUMZ YOU TO DA FLAVATOWN DAT IZ DA WAAAAAGH OF KUKIN!

​

I WUZ 'ELPIN DA DOK WIFF AN EXPURIMUNT, ALWEYZ A GUD OIDEA TAH BE ON DA DOK'S GUD SOID, SO HE WROTE A LIST WIFF ALL DAH FINGIES HE'D NEED FROM DA MEK!

ZOGGING PAINBOY DIN 'AVE ANYFING TA WROIT WIFF DOE, SO HE ZOGGIN STABB'D ONE O' HIS UMIE 'PETS' WIFF SUMM FETHURR OR SUMFINN, USIN' DA UMIES BLOOD TA WROIT WIFF.

HE 'AD TAH WROITE KAREFUL LOIK. I CULD TELL DAT DA DOK GOTS STEDDY 'ANDS, BUT EV'N HEE WUZ STRUGGLIN WIFF DA SPEED HE WUZ WRIT'N!

WEN HE WUZ DUNN DA FETHURR ZOGGIN SHOT STRAIF INTU DA UMIES 'EAD. IZ WULD FEEL BAD FER DA GIT, BUT HE WUZ A BALDIE SO I FINK HEE LUKS BEETAH LOIK DAT! HAR HAR HAR!!!

​

ANY'OW, SO I TOOK DAH LIST TO DA MEK AN STURTED READING DE WURDZ UP FOR 'IM, AND DATS WEN IT HAPPUND...

MY EYZ WER FOL'WING DE WURDZ TOO FAST, SO WHEN REEDING FRUM ONE SOID TO DE OTHA MOIN EYZ DIDN' STOP, DEYZ JUST KEEP TURNING!! I'Z CULD ALMUST ZEE DE INSOID O' ME OWN NOGGIN!!

DA MEK 'AD TO TAKE ME BAK TAH DA DOK, AN HE PUT ME ROIGHT AGENN, FER JUST 'ALF O' DE TEEF IN ME MOUF! (ZEE, TOLD YUZ IT PEYED OFF TAH BE ON DE GUD SOID WIFF DA DOK).

TANK YUZ FER LOISTENING TO ME NOB-TALK!

WEZ KANT LET DEM THUNK DAT WEZ ORKZ BE KUDLY LOIK DIZ!

https://www.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/1bjlp1c/i_can_understand_with_the_ork/

YESDERDA I WAZ HOLDIN ME SQUIG AND I SAYZ “Y DONT YA SHOOT A LAZA” AND IT SHOTZ A LAZA THAT KRUMPED ONE OF DEM RED SPIKEY CHAOS BOYZ I THINKZ WE CAN SHOOT LAZAZ OUT A SQUIG!

WE ALL KNOWZ GREEN IZ DA BEST KULA COZ ORKZ IZ GREEN. BUT WE’Z ALL GOTZ LOTZA DIFFRUN‘ CHOICES FOR SECOND KULAZ. I WANTZ TA MAKE IT OFFIC… PROPA, I SEZ DA SEKUND BEST KULA IZ RED.

I DID SUM FINKIN AN I CAME UP WIV SUM LOGIK. IF YOU GOES FASTA DEN YOU GETS TA DA FOIGHT FASTA, AN IF YA GETS TO DA FOIGHT FASTA, DEN YOUS CHOPPIN AN SHOOTIN FASTA, AN IF YOU GOES TO LOTZA FOIGHTS DEN DISS ALL ADDS UP AN YOU GET TA SMASH LOTS MORE ’EADS AN KRUMP MORE GITZ IF YOUZ GOT LOTZA RED FINGS.

WHATS WE FINKIN LADS? IZ RED DA SEKUND BEST KULA? OR YOU GITZ BETTA LOGIK?