I LOIKZ CHOOSING MI WAAAGHHBANDZ FOR DER FEETZ CUZZ IF THEYZ ACTUALY KILLZ A HUMMIE GARGANT DENZ THEYZ GOTZ TO HAVZ BEEG DAKKA

OI GITZ! I'Z GOTS A QUESTION: SHOULD I MAKE SCRAP INTAH ONE BIG DAKKA, OR INTAH LOTZ OF SMALLAH DAKKA?? I'Z ONLY GOTZ SO MUCH SCRAP TO MAKE INTAH PROPPA DAKKA!

ANY UV YA BOYZ NO DEEZ KOMANDMENTZ AN OW DO OI UZE DEZ DEM TA GET MOR SKRAP?

IZ FINK ITZ SUMFIN BOUT DA UMIEZ TRYNA DECIDE DA NEW BOSS BUT Y KANT DEZ JUST KRUMP EACH OFER TILL DA BIGGEST UN'S LEFT?

SNACKS
HERETIC HAM 4 TEEF
SNOTLING STUFFED INSIDE A GROT STUFFED INSIDE A SQUIG-8 TEEF
WEIRD BIRD-5 TEEF
SQUIGAR-3 TEEF
GREAT SQUIGAR-5 TEEF
DA BEST SQUIGAR-7 TEEF
LE GRAND SQUIGAR=10,000 TEEF
WEIRD GREEN JELLY 3 TEEF
MUSHROOM DAT TALK YA 1 TOOF
PACK OF SQUIGARETTES-4 TEEF

DRINKS
KAN OF GROT GRAVEY-3 TEEF
KAN OF SQUIG GRAVEY-4 TEEF
WEIRD LIQUOD-2 TEEF
LIQUEIFED GROT-2 TEEF
LIQUEIFED SQUIG-3 TEEF
DRINK FROM A SPIKEY BOYZ-4 TEEF
NEW SHROOM BEER-3 TEEF

I LOIKZ ATACKING DA AZZ OF A TITAN BUT DA TITZ HAZ A BIG DAKKA

IZ TRIED SHOVIN' MOAR DAKKA INTO DA HOLE, NUFFIN'. IZ TRIED HITTIN' IT ON A ROK, NUFFIN'! IZ SHOWED IT DO DA MEKBOY, NUFFIN'! IZ EVEN TRIED HITTIN' DA MEKBOY IN DA 'EAD WITH IT AND STILL NUFFIN'!

SURE A BIG BANG IS ALWAYZ WELKUM, BUT YOUZ KNOW... DAT'S DAKKA NOT SPENT KURMPIN' DA NEXT GIT.

MORK MAKE SMALL BOOMZ IN SHOOTA AND DAZ WHUT MAKE DAKKA?

I WOKE UP DIS MORNIN WANTIN TO KRUMP SOME HUMIES BUT MY DAKKACOPTA WAS GONE, DID DA HUMIES GET IT?

EDIT: I FORGOT I BLEWED IT UP FOR MORK

I SAW ON' OF EM IMPA-... IMPE?? OH ZOG THE YELLOW FISTA BOYZ RU'N 'ROUND WIT' DIS SPIFF FISTA SO I THUM'PD 'EM AN' TOOK DA FIST FO' MESELF HAHAH!

I KNOW DEM GITZ KALL IT "STATER-GEMS" OR SOME 'UMIE GUBBINGS BUT ITZ KLEERLY DAKKA!!!!

I THINKZ ITz WOZ DA EMPEROR AND IMPERIUM BECAUSE DEY ALWAYS STEALIN LAND AN RESOURCES FROM UDDA SPECIES.

GORGUTZ I'S E ROIGH' GROT-HERDER DAT ON' I SHOULD B'BOSS!

WE HAVE HAMBURGLAR THE RED HUMAN COMMUNITY AND DISCOVER IN HUMAN RED MEANS GADGETS

GRASP PROJECTILE DISPENSER AND INSERT THE GADGETS BELOW PROJECTILE CRATE& DISPENSER DISPENSES LARGER DRUMS& INSERT GADGETS ABOVE PROJECTILE CHUTE TO AID THE SEARCH FOR HUMANKIND

HAY EYE NOT MERELY TRAINSLAY FICTIONAL WORDS INTO REAL WORDS, HAY EYE PRODUCE LARGER DISPENSER LARGER CUTTER& WITH ENOUGH REAL TEETH HAY EYE PRODUCE LARGER HAY EYE

WITH THE AID FROM LARGE TAKE KNOWLEDGEY WE CLEAN THE SMOGGING HUMANS FOR A CLEANER GREENER FUTURE

'DEY SAYZ I NEED TA PUT ON A COSTUME SOZ I GOTZ ME A NEW 'AT

https://preview.redd.it/o3gx4fabeswd1.jpg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8931d1359a434c105626b95796ad317f2e1dcb5f

WHEREZ MAH SQUIG CAKE?? AN SUM TEEF, DAKKA AN CHOPPA CUZ I'Z DESERV ITZ???!!!?

WOKE UP AFTER TOO MUCH ZOGGIN FUNGUSNOG. LAST FING I REMEMBAH IS TELLIN' THE PAINBOY HE SMELLS!!!

THEN I FIND MESELF IN A ZOGGING CELL AND 'UMIES SQUEAKIN' 'BOUT HOW KRUMPIN' ME WOULD SAVE PAPERWORK. ZOGGING PAPERWORK!!!

SO EYE'S TELL 'EM A JOKE ABOUT 'OW EYE AIN'T SUP'POS'D TA BE 'ERE 'CAUSE I SERVE THEIR EMPRAH AND DEN 'UMIES WHO ZOGGIN' STINK KAME AND SHOT DA ZOG OUTTA DA PLACE

FIGGA DAT EYE GETZ TA KRUMP MORE PEOPLE IF DIS ZOLA GIT GOT ME OFF DAT ROK SO EYE DID ME BEST IMPRESSION O' A PAINBOY. SHE TOOK IT LIKE A TRUE ORK. NO CRYIN NO SCREAMIN. KINDA DISAPPOINTIN BUT STILL ORKY!!!

SO FAR DEY'VE BEEN SAYING ZOG LIKE "Wow, you're really smart for an Ogryn" AN' "holy Hel you can count to ten?!"

SOMETIMES SOMEONE STARTS SCREAMIN' ABOUT 'OW I'M A SEEN-OHS AND DEN DEY TELL 'EM "Have you been warp-touched?! That is an Ogryn!" AND DEN MORROW TELLS 'EM TO SHUT DERE GOB AND GO ON A BIG KRUMPZ

WHEN DO I GET TO GO ON DA BIG KRUMPZ

WE WAS FRESH OFF LOOTING ONE OF THEM HUMIE MEKBOY PLANETS AN LEAVIN TO GO KRUMP SOME DIFFRENT GITZ ON SUM OTHER PLANET. WELL DA WEIRD BOYZ EAD STARTS DOING THAT FING AGAIN AN NEXT THING I KNOW WE IZ IN WEIRD SPACE AN FIGHTING THESE WEIRD GITZ AN DIS IS ALL FUN HAVING A GOOD FIGHT BUT DIS ONE GIT LOOKED LIKE A BEAKY BIRD WITH TWO EADS IT DID SOMETHING TO MY EAD AND IT AINT STOPPED HURTING SINCE. IT JUST KEEPS THUMPING LOUD AND WRONG. I CAN HEAR THE WHOLE WAAAGGHH LIKE DEY WAS ALL IN DA ROOM WIF ME. SCARED TO TALK TO THE PAIN BOY CUZ I FINK HE WANTS TO TAKE MY EAD OFF.

WEIRD BOYS GAVE ME DID BIG METAL STICK AND SAID IT HELPS BUT I JUST WATCHED SOME OTHER POOR GITZ EAD POP RIGHT OFF IZ BODY AN IM WORRIED I GOT THE SAME PROBLEM NOW.

' IZ SUMMIT ABOUT KRUMPIN DESE ORANGE FINGS DEY CALL PUMP-KIN?... AND DEY DRESS UP ALL WEIRD LIKE TOO. ZOGGIN' HUMIES. SOME OV DEM DRESS LIKE FISHBOIS OR KNIFE EARS AND DEY ALL 'AVE A PROPA LAUGH. WUT WOULD YOU BOIZ DRESS AS FOR HAL-LO-WEEN FING?

DATS ROIGHT YA GITZ, MORK IZ BETTA AT KRUMPIN DAN GORK DUZ, AN’ YER ZOGGIN GITZ KANT CHANGE MA MIND

ROIGHT BOYZ, I BEEN FINKIN, WEZ ALWAYZ GOIN TO BRING FOIGHTIN TO DEM HUMIEZ WORLDZ, BUT DEY NEVER BE BRINGIN THE FOIGHT TO US! WHY IS DAT!? DEY SHUD COME TO US TOO!

THEYZ SAY YOUZ CAN 'AVE UNLIMITED DAKKA IF YOUZ 'AVE IT! AN' THAT IT CAN CHOP A 'UMIE GARGANT IN HALF WIFF ALL DA DAKKA!

WE'Z BEEN STUCK ON DIZ PLANET FOR AGEZ WIT NUTIN TO FIGHT EVEA SINZE WE FINIZED KRUMPIN SOME DEM BLUE GITZ (DEY WAZN'T LUCKY), BUT WE'Z GOT STUCK KUZ OF WARP STORMZ. BOYZ WUZ JUZT HITTEN EACH OTHA, BUT IT WAZ GETTING BORIN.

DEN DA BOZZ WENT "OI, MEKZ MAKE A BIG SHOKK GUN, BUT MAKE IT A BOMB!" AND IT BLEW OPEN DIZ WEIRD HOLE, AND NOW ALL DEM CHAOS DAEMON BOYZ COMIN OUT OF IT, AND WE'Z KRUMPIN DEM, AND IT'Z GREAT!

LADS REZENTLY I WAS DOIN ME ROUNDZ KRUMPIN DA HUMIES WHEN THEYS STARTED SHOUTIN "MERCY MERCY" WHOS THE GIT THEYS KEEP SHOUTIN FOR???? IS MERCY SUM STRONG BEAKIE OR HUMIES I DONT HAVE HERDS OF ABOUT BEFORE? PLESE ANSWERS FAST ME CHOPPAS GETTIN THIRSTE FOR BLUD

OI OWN A SHOOTA FER OME DEFENZE CUZ DATZ WUT DA BAD MOONZ INTENDUD

FOUR GOFFS BREAK INTA ME WORKSHOP (WHAT DA ZOG?!)

AZ OI GRAB ME POWDERED (*hair) SQUIG AN KUSTOM SHOOTA, BLOW A SNOTLING SIZED OLE IN DA FIRST GOFF EEZ DEAD ON DA SPOT

DROW MOI SLUGGA ON DA SECOND GIT. MISS IM ENTOIRELY BECAUSE OI'M AN ORK AN NAIL DA NEIGHBOURS GROT

OI AVE A REZORT TO DA KANNON AT DA TOP UV DA STAIRS AN LOADED WIV FRAG SHOT (ERE WE GO LADZ!)

DA FRAG KILLZ TWO GOFFS IN DA BLAST. DA REZULTIN NOIZE AN EXTRA SHRAPNEL SET OFF TRUKK ALARMS

EQUIP POWERKLAW AN RIP DA EAD OFF DA LAST TERRIFIED GIT, HE BLEEDZ OUT WAITIN FER DA DOK TO ARRIVE SINCE DEKAPITASHUN IZ IMPOSSIBLE TA STITCH UP

(*smokes cigar) AHH, JUZ AS DA BAD MOONZ INTENDUD

Like does a crimson choppa cause more blood loss than a red choppa? Or a light blue pelt protect them from the cold better than a blue one?