/r/40kOrkScience

Photograph via snooOG

WAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHH

LISTEN UP YA BOOGER FLINGIN GOBZ!!

DIS IS A GATHERIN OV DA SMARTEST, DA STRONKIST, AN DA LOUDEST ORK BOYZ IN DA NOWN VERSE!! WE'RE HERE TA WAAAAAAAGGHH AND KRUMP BUT TA EDUCATE ALL OF DA NEW GROTZ ON WOT IT IZ TA BE AN ORK!!

WHAT IZ AN ORK? WERR DA BEST AT KRUMPIN AND WAAAAAAGHHHS AN BLOWIN STUFF INTO SHINY BITZ!! SOME STOOPID HUMIE FRUM DA EMEEREIUM SAID DIS ABOUT DA ORKZ....

http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Orks

I DUNNO HOW TRU ALL DAT IZ, ALL I READ OV DAT IS DA ORKZ ARE DA BEST AN DA YUNEVERSE IS SCARED PROPAH OV US WHICH DEY SHULD BE!!

BUT DIS BRANCH OV DA WAAAAAGGHH IS FER LEARNIN AN TEACHIN YA STOOPID HUMIES WOT ITZ LIKE TA BE DA BEST AN TA BE AN ORK!! WOT YER SUPPOSED TA DO IZ ASK US QWESTIONS AND WERE TA ANSWER DEM DA PROPAH WAY!!

JUS REMEBAH TA BE RESPECTFUL OV EACH UTTA!! YA CAN FIGHT AN HOLLAR AND KRUMP EACH UTTA UNTIL YER FISTS AR BLOODY BUT DON'T BE LIKE DEM STINKIN TAU GITZ AND CAUSE A RUCKUS DA CAUSES ME TA COME IN AN PUT YER HEAD ON ME BOSSPOLE!!

ASK YER QWESTSHUNS AN WELL TELL YA HOW TA BE AN ORK!!!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

WANNA GIV A SHOUTOUT TO DEM HUMIE GITZ DAT HELPED ADVERTIZE DA BOYZ TO DA REDDITVERSE!! STOP BY AN LOOK AT ALL DER SHINY GUBBINZ AT /r/ImaginaryWarhammer

ALSO YA GITZ SHULD CHECK OUT /r/WARHAMMER40k AN /r/surprisespacemarine FER ALL YER EMPY LOVIN NEEDZ AN /r/40kLore FER DEM PAPERY BOOK FINGZ AN DA INFERMASHUN ON DA EVA GROWIN WWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHH!!!

DA NU GITZ TA CHECK OWT IZ DA HUMIEZ OVA AT /r/GrimDank FER SUM FUNNEE GUBBINZ TA LAUGH AT AND TA SAVE ON YER COMPEWTAH FER LATAH USE!!!

DER AR MORE NU GITZ TA CHEK OWT! /r/ttswarhammer40k DAT PLAY ORKZ ON DER COMPUUTER FINGZ AN MAKE WWWWAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHZZZZ GO DER AN LERN TA KRUMP GITZ ON DA GAME!!!

IF YOUZ UN-ORKY AN' CAN'T HANDLE DA POWAH OF DA BEST WAR MACHINE IN DA UNIVERZ, DEN MAYBE YOUZ CAN SOD OFF TA ONE O' DESE PONZY PRISSY SUBS INSTEAD:

/r/40kscience/

/r/40kEldarscience/

/r/Clanskryrescience/

/r/AskTheSwarm/

OR YOUZ CAN BE PART OF DA WAAAAAGH!

WE HAZ GREAT TEEF INSURANCE.

/r/40kOrkScience

46,892 Subscribers

13

ALAS POOR YARRICK,

HOLDZ A UMIE SKULL WIF A FANCY HAT

IZ KNEW 'IM HORATIO.

3 Comments
2024/06/21
23:26 UTC

7

OI

OIVE BIN FINKING, SUM OF DEM BEAKIES IS GREEN, WHY DONT DEY BE ‘ELPIN DA BOIS???

5 Comments
2024/06/21
20:57 UTC

6

KILLA KANZ

OI'Z LADZ WUT MAKES A KILL KANZ KILLA, ITS DAKKA OR IT UZER.

8 Comments
2024/06/21
16:33 UTC

16

WUT IZ BETTA?

I HAV A CHOPPA AND A SHOOTA. I KAN HOLD BOTH AT DA SEEM TIME.

BUT WHAT IZ BEST?

SHOOTA IN DA ROIGHT HAND AND CHOPPA IN DA LEEFT OR DA OTHA WAY AROOND?

OR SHOULD I KRUMP SUM GITS?

12 Comments
2024/06/21
06:51 UTC

3

Is there anything you consider a crime? If so, how do you solve it?

I know you have a high bar for violence, so I thought about white collar crime. Let's say some Git embezzles Waaagh supplies, leaving the fleet grounded and many Boyz disappointed; I imagine your MO would be mobbing the offender.

23 Comments
2024/06/21
00:11 UTC

43

IZ DIS DA REAL?

IZ DIS JUS FANTASY?
KAUGHT "N LANDSIDLE,
NO ESCAPE FROM REALITY
OPEN YER EYES LOOK TA'DA SKIEZ AN' SEE
IZ JUS A POOR BOY I NEED NO SYMPATHY
"COS IZ EASY KOME EASY GO LITTLE HIGHT LITTLE LOW
ANY WAY DA' WIND BLOWS DOESN"T REALLY MATTA TA ME, TA ME

9 Comments
2024/06/20
04:53 UTC

25

WEIRD GREY SPACE MARINE BOYZ

IZ WAZ FIGHTING DEM INQUZITON GITZ WHEN DEZ WEIRD GREY SPACE MARINES SHOWED UP SOME OD SEM ULSO FOUGHT LIEK A WEIRD BOY DO DOZ ANY OF YA BOYZ KNOW WAT DOEZ GREY BOYZ WERE?

16 Comments
2024/06/18
14:59 UTC

3

WHERE YOUZ ALL GETTIN Y'R PAINTS?

WE ALLS KNOW THAT RED MAKES YA FASTA BUT WHERE YA FINDIN DA RED? WHATS BOUT THE BLUE AN PURPLE?

6 Comments
2024/06/17
04:22 UTC

37

WHYZ IT SOME HUMIES GOT BUBBLES ON DA FRONT?

WHY DO SOME OF DA HUMIES LIKE DEM SISTAZ OV BATTLE HAVE BUBBLES ON FRONT, ESPECIALLY THE NON-FIGHTY HUMIES? IS DEY SQUIGZ OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT? HUMIES ARE WEIRD, BRUV.

17 Comments
2024/06/16
21:37 UTC

13

Is the git made by the dakka or the dakka by the git? 🤔

6 Comments
2024/06/15
23:15 UTC

88

I 'eard a 'umie say don't have a waaaagh

Dey don't gets it. Howz a lad gonna waagh alone? It ain't rights and it makes me wants to stomp 'em

13 Comments
2024/06/15
13:48 UTC

54

OI NEED A PAINBOY ROIGHT NOW

SO YA KNOW HOW HUMIES TURN RED WHEN DEY STAYZ OUT IN DA SUN? I FIGGERED DAT IF I DID DAT, I WOULD GET ALL RED AND BE DA FASTEST ORK TA EVA LIVE. I LAYED IN DA SUN FOR A LONG TIME, AND IM ALL RED NOW BUT ME SKIN'Z ALL BURNY AN' IT HURTZ! ANY PAINBOYZ 'ERE THAT CAN FIX ME UP PROPPA?

12 Comments
2024/06/14
01:55 UTC

113

WEIRD-BOY WAFFLING ON BOUT "GAMEZ WERKSHOP"

SO RECENTLY ME TRIBE'S WEIRD-BOY TOOK A SMALL THUMP ON DA HEAD FROM ME GOOD MATE SKARGUTZ. WE ALL HAD A GUD LAFF BUT WHEN DA WEIRD-BOY GOT UP HE STARTED TA SCREAM BOUT HOW "NUFFIN WUZ REAL" AND HOW EVERYTHING ONLY EXISTED FOR SOME GIT CALLED "GAMEZ WERKSHOP" TO SELL "MINIACHURZ"

DUZ ANY O' YOO GITZ KNOW WUT HEZ GOING ON ABOUT?

11 Comments
2024/06/13
20:30 UTC

37

How much of an ork is fungus?

Greetings, Orks. I, Ankanotep, The Undying King, Necron Phaeron of The Ankhenatekh Dynasty, come to you all with a simple biological query: What exact percentage of your biology is fungus? And as an aside, what would you say is the best method for torturing others of your green-skinned race? I would assume sensory deprivation would prove quite useful, but I want to hear your thoughts... if you CAN indeed truly think, that is.

14 Comments
2024/06/13
12:24 UTC

13

OI. DEZ HUMIZ SEZ, VEE EGGZ ......BIG NUMBAH MAKE DA DAKKA BIGGUNS. CAN I HAZ A BRAIN BOYZ TALK DIS TO ORKIE FOR ME, ME MEK BOY GUNNA WANNA NO WUT DEYZ TALKIN BOUT.

IZ ZES: ENNNHANZ HAAHMONIK FLUCKZ DENZITY INNA FERBISH VEE EXX BIG NUMBUH. AN' ANNODAH FING: FIZ DA HAHMONIUM TUBEZ WIT DA UH. DAMURGIN SHAFT BIT. WUT THE GROT THEY ZOGGIN'BOUT?????????

WUT THE GROK DOZ MEANZ?????????????? WAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!

2 Comments
2024/06/11
21:54 UTC

15

ANYWUN EVA EARD OF DA YOU ESS ESS DEFFAYINT?

WE'Z DOUND A DATA SLUG OV AN HUMIE EM FREE DAKKASHIP!!

NOT GRATE ARMOR FUR A KROOZER, BUT BY ZOG IT SHOOTS AND FITES LYK A MEGA VERSUHN OV UR STARFITAZ, DED SNEEKY TOO WIV A CLOAKIN DEVIZE

WEZ GUNNA AVE TO FIND A WREK TO LOOT NOW WEZ NEED DA DEFIANT SHIP KLAZZ, KOZ DEY DED KILLY

3 Comments
2024/06/10
10:50 UTC

40

I HAZ A QEZTION

IF YA 'AD TA PICK, DO YA LIKE GORK MORE OR MORK MORE

18 Comments
2024/06/04
15:22 UTC

9

OI, I GOT A QUEZTION FOR DA MEKS

SOME GIT TOLD ME DAT DA VOID SHIELDZ SEND STUFF TO DA WARP. https://www.reddit.com/r/40kLore/comments/1d76l9i/void_shields_are_hilarious/ DAT TRUE? KUZ, IF SO DAT'Z GREAT! WE THROW GROTZ AT DEM, AND WE'Z SENDIN GROTZ TO DA WARP, WICH IZ HILARIOUZ! WHEN WE SHOOT DEM TO GET DEM TO GO DOWN, WE CAN ALZO BE HITTEN DEM SPIKEY CHAOS BOYZ, OR DEM DAEMONS! SEE I TOLD GRIMGOB I HIT SOMETHIN, HE OWEZ ME FIFTY TEEF!

4 Comments
2024/06/04
02:54 UTC

11

BARRELS

Me und won OH DAH MEKS TINK DAT IF YAH PUT MORE BARRELS ON DAH SHOOTA ITS MORE DAKKA

BUT ONE O DAH OTHER MEKS SAYZ DATZ NOT HOW DAKKA WORKZ

SO SHULD WE PUT MORE BARRELS ON DAH SHOOTA OR NOT

11 Comments
2024/06/01
21:17 UTC

17

OI FOWNDA GEEN-YUS SALUSHUN TA PROBLEM!

IF YA LOOZ SUMFIN, IZ ALWAYZ IN DA LAST PLACE YA LOOK!! SO STAHT LOOK'N DEH FURST, AND YA FIND IT DA FURST TIME EV-REE TIME!!!

(MAYBE IF DA 'UMIES STAHTED WINNIN FURST LIKE WE DUZ, DEY WUDENT LOOZ SO MUCH! HAHAHA)

4 Comments
2024/05/30
18:54 UTC

5

ChatGPT for Ork Speech

Meta post here, but I was bored today and decided to test this out. I’m not the best at the whole writing Ork speech thing and was wondering how ChatGPT would be at doing it. Lo and behold, it’s actually really good.

Here are just a few examples of some popular quotes, including one from an Ork that somehow sounds even more Orky with a pass through ChatGPT:

"In da grim darkness of da far future, dere ain't nuffin' but krumpin' an' stompin'! WAAAAAGH!"

"Orks, we's da best at everyfing! We's already won da big scrap! Our mob don't know nuffin' 'bout stress or worry, just krumpin' an' stompin'! Who's got da roight to say anyfing 'gainst us, huh? Da Eldar, all fancy but failed, or da Humans, runnin' towards a big mess? An' why? 'Cause dey's askin' questions dat ain't even on an Ork's mind! Dey look at us, see us bein' tough, an' call it crude. Stoopid gits."

"Orkses ain't neva' beat! If we win, we win! If we die, we die fightin', so dat don't count! If we leg it, we ain't dead neither, 'cause we'll just come back fer anuvva' scrap, ya see!"

If it’s your cup of tea, you could run the quote back through and have it all capitalised, so even if you’re not good at writing like an Ork like me, you can use this and it’ll give you a good start.

It’s not perfect, with the major stand outs being “Humans” instead of “humies” and “Eldar” instead of “pointy ears”, but I feel like this a good tool to learn and gets the basics down really well.

7 Comments
2024/05/30
11:15 UTC

14

Uhhh... wut're madboyz jammerin' about?

'Unuvv me best ladz' a madboyz, dey'ze a feral boy dat ya show neat tek to.. n'dey talk 'bout weird fings frum toime ta toime, dey said sumfin' bout a... 'krork' last toime dey talked weird, wot's dat about?

4 Comments
2024/05/29
07:51 UTC

27

... OI !!! EVERYFING KAN BE DAKKA IF YA TOSS IT 'ARD ENUFF !!!! WHAAAAGHHH!!!

6 Comments
2024/05/28
16:38 UTC

17

R' GROTZ N' SQUIGS... DAKKA?

'ear me ou' 'ere, ladz. SO, WE'Z ALL AWUHR UVV WUT DAKKA EEZ, ROIGHT? WELL... DA DAKKA'S ALL DAT YOU GITZ SHOOT AT DA 'UMIES, BUGZ, STUNTIES, SPIKEYS, BEAKIES.. ALL DEM 'ALF-GROTZ, BUT 'OW MANY UVV US KNOW 'BOUT DA SHOKK ATTAKK GUN? S'A GUN USED BY DA MEKBOYZ DAT SUKKS UP GROTZ.. AND DEN 'ERE'S DA FUNNY PART, SPITZ 'EM OUT ROIGHT INSIDE HOOEVUH EET WUS POEENTUHD AT, IT DON'T WORK WELL 'GAINST TIN CANZ, BUT 'UMIES LOIKE TA SCREAM AND RUN WEN DERE'S A CRAZEE GROT IN THEIR CHEST, N' DEN DEY DIE. DERE'S ALSO SQUIG LAUNCHAS, YA PUT 'EM ON BUGGIES N' WAGONS N' WHEN YA USE 'EM, DEY SHOOT DA SQUIGS! DOES DIS MEEN DA. SINCE YA CAN SHOOT GROTS N' SQUIGS... DAT BOFF EVVUM ALSO KOUNT S' 'DAKKA'?

8 Comments
2024/05/25
20:15 UTC

12

Are the foul xenos becoming smarter?

I mean da boss'z uzing too many grotz lat'lee, in'e? Tü manee killa kans.

8 Comments
2024/05/25
06:53 UTC

9

BOYS, I NEED DA HELP

BOYS I NEED DA HELP!

I TRY TO REMEMBA SUMTING BUT I DO NOT KNO WHAT!

WHAT DO I DO NOT REMEMBA?

10 Comments
2024/05/24
17:01 UTC

34

IF YA SPILL RED PAINT ON DA KROOZA FLOOR, DOEZ DAT PART OF DA FLOOR GO FASTA DAN DA REST?

NEED AN ANSWA QWIK BEFORE IT OUTSPEEDZ DA REST OF DA SHIP.

12 Comments
2024/05/24
08:32 UTC

26

DAKKA RELATIVITY

OI, I'MMA' GUNNA' 'SPLAIN DA FEORY OF DAKKA RELATIVITY.

SEE, DAKKA CAN BE 'SPRESSED AS A VECTA'. DAT MEANS IT'S A FING WITH AN ORGIN POINT, DIRECTION, AND A 'TUDE. DA ORGIN IS DA BARREL OF YA' SHOOTA', DA' DIRECTION IS WHATEVA' YOU POINTIN' YA' SHOOTA' AT, AND DA' 'TUDE IS HOW MUCH DAKKA YA' SLINGIN'. NOW, WHENEVA' YOUZ IN A SCRAP WHEH YA' BOTH SLINGIN' DAKKA, YOU NEED YA' DAKKA VECTA' TO 'CEED IZ DAKKA VECTA', SO DA' NET DAKKA VECTA' IS POINTIN' AT 'EM 'STEAD OF YOU, OVVA'WISE YA' AIN'T GONNA' KRUMP 'EM. BUT 'CAUSE YOU NEVVA' GONNA' KNOW OW MUCH DAKKA EE GOT, YOU NEVVA' GONNA' KNOW HOW MUCH DAKKA YA' NEED TO MAKE YOUR VECTA' BIGGER DEN IZ VECTA'.

AND 'DAT IS WHY YOU NEVVA' GONNA' HAVE 'ENUFF DAKKA. 'DAT'S JUST BAZIC DAKKA RELATIVITY.

6 Comments
2024/05/20
22:18 UTC

2

BOMBABOMBA

YER ALL KNO, DA BOMBAS AR' SUM FINE THINGS. THEY DROPP DA BOMBS ON DA OTHAS AND THEY MAKE GREET EXPLUSIONS. AND SUM TIMES THEY EVEN HIT DA GITZ WE WUNT TO KRUMP!!!

I LOV THEM! THEY FAST, THEY FLOWN BY ORKS, THEY LOUD, THEY DROP SUM GREET BOMBS AND DA MOOOST IMPOTANT THING, THEY FLOWN BY ORKS.

BUT HEER MY IDEEA. DA BOMBABOMBA. A BOMBA THAT BOMBS NOT BOMBS BUT SUM SMOLA BOMBA, THATS BOMBS DA BOMBS, OR BOMBS DASELF IN DA GROUND!

2 Comments
2024/05/20
13:01 UTC

6

DEEZ HUMIEZ CONFUZE ME SOMETIMEZ

ANY O' YOU LADZ KNOW WHY DAT EMPRAH GIT HAVE DA HUMIEZ DOIN STUFF DAT AINT KRUMPIN FINGS LOIKE PRAYIN AND WORKIN AN ALL DAT STUFF WE GET DA GROTZ TO DO WHILE WE KRUMPIN FINGS?

19 Comments
2024/05/20
08:32 UTC

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