/r/ShittyAnimalFacts
Shitty facts about animals, from Trashpandas to Slowbears to Jackdaws. Cute pictures accompanied by shitty titles, like "TIL Zoos can only have one emperor penguin at a time; any more leads to a political coup d'état."
Rule #1: Only the shittiest facts allowed. If your post ends up being correct you are instantly banned. No exceptions!
Rule #2: No YouTube. Post an image or a gif. Because mods are tired of removing spam.
Rule #3: No douchebaggery. Mods will ban at will. Or even just for funsies. Consider this your final warning.
Rule #4: Only shitty users repost. You can title something literally anything you want (so long as it's not true) so you really have to be a lazy piece of shit to repost an existing shitty fact. It's not forbidden, but if you choose to repost, expect a public shaming for your shitty behavior, you shit head.
See a comment from someone who doesn't realize what sub they're in? Post it to /r/shittieranimalfacts!
For more shitty fun
/r/ShittyAnimalFacts
146,779 Subscribers
The reason why sharks always circle people a few times before attacking is because humans always taste better without all the shit in them.
01:15 UTC
Bird feeders have been totally integrated since the 1960s. But you can tell some birds still wish they weren't.
14:35 UTC
This is a common household slugrat. They are cute but can become a pest in numbers. They make slugrat traps if needed, you use cheese as you would with mice.
23:39 UTC
Giraffes naturally have very bendy necks. The ones you see at zoos are fed viagra to keep their necks stiff and make them seem taller and more impressive.
10:18 UTC
Epaulette sharks are inveterate smokers and will walk any distance to get their fix
10:11 UTC
Dogs can grow up to 6 feet and 6 legs
08:48 UTC
Chipmunks only come from the Chipé region of France. If they are from anywhere else, they are just sparkling ground squirrels.
02:11 UTC
Talking parrots cannot be trained to say "kill yourself". If a parrot says that to you, they sincerely want you to kill yourself.
20:39 UTC
The world's first cat born with a head on each end is unable to live in harmony with itself.
02:46 UTC
In 1981, a Soviet luxury department store released a line of "cuddle bears", which were grizzly bears that had been specially trained to snuggle up to people while sleeping. There were no survivors.
20:21 UTC
haha yes
11:39 UTC
Does this count?
14:49 UTC
Some sharks have been reported to take nourishment from swimming in lava. So next time you're in lava watch out for sharks.
14:54 UTC
Snakes that have bred in captivity sometimes have bread in captivity.
03:59 UTC
30% of unemployed bears cannot afford hairdressing care
17:55 UTC
Glass frogs skilfully hide red blood cells in their liver – maximising the light that passes through their body and hiding them in plain sight.
15:06 UTC
The world's oldest chicken lived to be 48 years old
01:26 UTC
Every armadillo lizard secretly desires to be a guard dragon.
03:12 UTC
This indeterminate fuzzy thing has no scientific classification as it is considered too generic. Cute though.
22:58 UTC
This is the taxes cobra. If you claim to have paid your taxes and the IRS doesn't believe you, they make you boop this cobra. If he doesn't bite, it means you were telling the truth.
18:24 UTC