/r/ShittyTurtleFacts

Photograph via snooOG

Believe nothing you see and everything you imagine.

Rule #1: Only the shittiest facts allowed. If your post ends up being correct you are instantly banned. No exceptions!

Rule #2: No spam.

Rule #3: No douchebaggery. Mods will ban at will. Or even just for funsies. Consider this your final warning.

See a comment from someone who doesn't realize what sub they're in? Post it to /r/shittieranimalfacts!

For more shitty fun

r/ShittyAnimalFacts

/r/ShittyFoodFacts

/r/shittyaskscience

/r/ShittierAnimalFacts

/r/ShittyTurtleFacts

272 Subscribers

5

Turtles are not subject to the square-cube law. In fact, increasing their size will only make them faster, stronger and more energetic. (Pictured: A colossal turtle trying to get rid of excess vigour)

0 Comments
2018/01/11
21:30 UTC

3

The Majestic Sea Turtle

0 Comments
2017/11/23
14:39 UTC

9

WHAT KIND OF TURTLE IS THIS

2 Comments
2016/12/05
23:54 UTC

7

Thanks to recent advancements by geneticists, the Department of Defense has successfully produced the first supersoldier: a human/turtle hybrid.

1 Comment
2016/06/12
19:09 UTC

3

Cockatiels and tortoises have benefitted from a symbiotic relationship for at least 10,000 years. Similar to the finches that clean the Galapagos tortoises, the birds benefit from the easy meals living on and around the tort, while the torts depend on the cross-pollination provided by the birds.

1 Comment
2016/05/09
00:16 UTC

5

X ≠ Turtle for all X, and for all Turtle (proof in the text)

Proof: -X[as turtle plus turtle-killer kills the turtle, and this is proof by contradiction, so X = a turtle] = Predator of Turtle, mathematically, of means multiply, so predator X turtle is not a good OTP because the predator kills the turtle, and thus there is only turtle left. and this means that thus -X = Turtle, for all X = Turtle, which is a contradiction, so it cannot be the case

0 Comments
2016/04/18
15:37 UTC

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