I studied civil engineering. I graduated like 3 months ago. During my studies i slack off a lot, whenever my friends wanted to go out i never said no. Didn’t study much and then covid came and everything was online and it was easy to cheat and didnt pay attention in online lectures so i cheated most of the time. There were some courses i knew were important for one field of civil engineering that i wanted to go into. I tried to focus on them so i used to study them but the thing is, when i dont pay attention in class i have to go through way too many sources and understand everything on my own and since im someone who doesn’t consider themselves understanding something unless i know all details about it and how its derivated, studying took so much time that i would end up not being able to finish the whole material before the exam. I like my major but it requires lots of studying i didnt do. I then kind of grew up and took practical chances that wiuld better my cv. Now i am applying for jobs and had my first interview last week, at first i thought i fidnt do so bad but then i remember what eent down and it was so bad. Inhave another one tomorrow and im worried about it. Im most worried that i wasted so much time and money and cant even do a career path because either honestly dont like other paths. I love my major and had a boost of confidence when ij my last year i scored great grades and actually impressed a professor in the field i wanted. But now after that interview i started worrying if im a lost cause. I have the worst memory and cant remember most equations or concepts. I hope everything works out. I just needed to get it off my chest and maybe someone could tell me how far i messed up or not.

Yesterday I saw two people arguing about some bs on Reddit and it really got my gears grinding. Simply because one person seriously misquoted statistics and everyone downvoted the other person for correctly interpreting it.

The statistic was discussing how 68% of the PHDs that go to black people go to black women.

Thats great! Love to see women getting their PHD. But the commented was quoting it to say that black women are the most educated group in the United States and that 68% of black women have a PHd.

The other individual looked at the source and corrected it by saying it isn’t true, 3000 something black people are enrolled in PHD programs, and 68% are women. But there are like 50k or soemthing pHD students. They went on to say there’s like 40 million black ppl in the USA and 68% of no racial group gets a pHD, and how by saying it’s such a common thing diminishes the hoops these women had to get through, and how hard they had to work to break down the barriers.

The other person kept calling them racist just for correcting how to understand the statistic.

And people were on the side of the misquoter.

I just think it’s scary how poorly understood research can be so easily believed by the masses bc it’s what they wanna hear.

When my daughter was around three, she made a comment “grandpa Brewer died because he ate the “warbly stuff” on the sidewalk.” My daughter is perceptive and intuitive, has been since she was born. That comment was so oddly specific I went too hard asking her what that meant and she clammed up. I asked her the next day, she said the same exact thing but wouldn’t explain what it meant! My father passed away from a sudden heart attack in 2006. My daughter was born in 2009. She is now 15, and I still am stumped and eager to know what she could have possibly “meant” or was trying to convey by that comment. Any thoughts?

This is a very honest question and I mean no ill will here.

About me & my family: I immigrated to the US with my parents in 2018 through the Diversity Visa Lottary Program (organized by the US embassy in many countries around the world). We currently live in Sacramento, CA.

Both my parents are minimum wage workers at Walmart, their English is pretty bad, so they have no hope of "advancing" up the ladder at their Walmart store. They try to learn the language, but it's very hard for them to learn it, whereas I have been learning it since a young age through movies & TV. I'm attending Uni and working part-time while living with them. I'm also min-wage, working as a barista. I'm going to a state university, but doing a "safe" major, so I'll prob make good enough money eventually.

Our current rent is $1800 monthly, and it's a pretty small apartment, but it does the job. We lived in an even smaller space back in our home country. Yes, it's extremely expensive out here (we moved here because my dad knew one friend from our country who said he could help us, and he was the one who recommended Walmart to my parents, as he also works there). But it's not impossible.
We've honestly never struggled for food here, we've always paid our rent/bills etc. We live very frugally. The standard of living we have here is still better than what we had back home, even with minimum wage.

What we've struggled the most with is health bills, due to my mother having breast cancer, and my dad having diabetes (neither is at a very bad stage, but still needs treating). But we have payment plans set up and pay the hospital/med bills regularly. We also take advantage of some state assistance programs for low-income people like the food stamps. Where we come from, there is no govt-funded help because the government is broke, and my parents would not be able to get the treatments they get here for cancer & diabetes - they would have to somehow find a bunch of money and travel to a developed country nearby for treatment.

That was some context on our life. What I wonder is why there are so many homeless people. It's hard but it's doable to have a place to live, even with low income. I heard of a guy and his girlfriend who were homeless, yet each was making $20/hour. We make less than that but are able to live a normal life still. Do we just have lower expectations or smth?I really mean no disrespect here, this is something we genuinely wonder about. I imagine that people who are addicted or have bad mental health are having their lives ruined by these factors, so that explains their situation. But there are a lot of homeless people camping on the sidewalk, is every single one of them addicted or mentally unstable??????

EDIT: There have been A LOT of replies since yesterday, thank you! I tried to go through most of them, and a common thread seems to be lack of social support (people keep pointing to my family). Damn, people here are both lonely and alone. I'm kinda shocked at that, definitely a big cultural difference.

Some replies were doubting my situation. I tried to paint a full picture of our current life, but the post is already very long. I instead focused on our circumstances today instead of how we got what we have in the first place.

I'll soon be able to apply for citizenship and be able to vote, so I'm learning about the issues here. I will vote in local elections and hopefully contribute to improving the situation.

Maybe I'm just a really emotional person but I find myself crying a lot over this topic.

I focus alot on the tiny details when it comes to friendship. The smiles, the laughter, etc. Platonic love has always been more precious to me, not that I don't like romance.

Clinging onto someone isn't what I want to do if they aren't comfortable with me anymore.

I think it's somewhat because of my childhood. I had a huge family, had loads of cousins, aunts and all that stuff. Problem was they were all older than me and eventually, I saw all of them grow up and leave while I remained the young one. They all bonded and I couldn't understand it back then, I never understood the love right in front of me but I felt it.

I'm curious if anyone else experiences the clingy-but-i-dont-wanna-bother-you feel when it comes to friendships. Let's discuss

This morning I (23M) came down to the living room and sat with my mother as usual every morning. My mother has had ongoing health issues with kidney disease and a bladder infection as well. Recently she had a picc line put in for home usage because her bladder infection is resistant to almost all antibiotics. She told me that at this point her and the doctors are just buying time. And she's going to die from this. It hit me like a train. I thought I could always comprehend my parents mortality and in the back of my head I always knew I'd lose them someday. But to wake up one morning at 6:45am and realize that day is coming up sooner than I thought, I just don't know how to process it. So much change will happen in our lives and I feel so much less prepared as a man than I thought. Does anybody have any advice about how to deal with this? Mentally and emotionally?

So my question is in this age of social media and brain rot how do you find your way back to healing your creativity and logical mind ?

I have tried reading and have read quiet a lot both fiction and non fiction. And as for exercise I can't do it because my health is kinda f up . Since 5 years and trying I may try to throw my phone away i start it again on day 2or 3 . And i even tried journalling I did wrote about how i feel and about my different thoughts

What more can I do and or add ?

For example on YouTube. I came across a video of a search warrant happening at a house and the house literally exploding. Almost every comment is someone making a joke about it. How is that funny? How is people being hurt/exploding funny? How is this situation in any way funny? Why does everyone attempt to be dark and edgy so often about subjects that don't need it? And they are constantly the most liked comments. I just don't understand it. Could someone explain it to me?

My son is 10 years old. Like many 10 year olds, he is pretty self centered. We often have conversations about how he needs to think about how his actions impact others. I just never really know if he’s been hearing me.

I have been coaching him in baseball for 6 years now, and at times I wonder if he’s having fun with it. Because he often complains about practice and occasionally going to games. But every year I ask if he still wants to play and if it’s still fun for him and he always says yes.

Today after we had our worst loss of the year where we got blown out 12 to 0, he came up to me after the game and said “Dad, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this for a long time. (I’m thinking oh crap) I’m just so glad you’re my coach. You really make baseball fun, and I love spending the time with you”

I thanked him and gave him a huge hug and said that was one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.

Sometimes I think life has no meaning. Trust me, everything is fine with me, but I feel like I've been going through some existential crisis.

That feeling stems from the fact that everything in life seems chaotic to me. Like, there's no rhyme or reason in everything that happens and how people live. Randomness at its finest.

And the more I think about ways to attain mental clarity, get my act and shit together, the more I realize that I'm basically opening a Pandora box of unsolvable riddles and putting myself into the maze without an opportunity to find the exit.

That's why I believe that ignorant people are the happiest. They don't overthink, they just live their life. Yes, they may be living paycheck to paycheck or their relatives might be extremely sick, but they accept everything and just do the things they want or need to do.

However, I refuse to admit that life is random. I'm convinced that life is a game with a definite set of rules and a purpose. And I will keep trying to figure them out no matter what...

We all know that gun laws and self defense laws are different state by state, etc but what about wild life? Say if a bear breaks into your home or a cougar or something, would people legally be okay if they were to defend themselves, families and homes with force, or would they have to contact the authorities and hide since the "intruder" aren't armed, etc?

What about wild animals outside of your house acting as if they were going to come after you/your home? Would you have to run inside and call the police or would you be allowed to defend yourself?

A person should be able to volunteer to join the UP, also making an affordable annual contribution to fund it. Then he/she will have global legal rights granted by the UP. However states may not recognise the UP, and their might be a legal conflict.

When human rights are not protected in the world's largest democracies, and international courts and law focus on disputes between states, businesses, and NGOs; there is a need for laws, courts, and enforcement mechanisms to protect individuals, who have limited resources.

The UP should also be able to issue documents, like passports, in a digital format. And provide digital governance. And possibly provide a digital currency and banking services.

Would you consider joining a UP? What services can it provide for you, which current national or international organisations, law, and authorities don't?

Now I’m sure the majority have seen ufos - suspicious flying objects, but has anyone actually seen an alien? Don’t let the government deceive you. They have had the technology for decades, but it’s the aliens that they are going to try to deceive us with. Holograms are going to be used to make us believe of an invasion.

And how did you overcome whatever it was you were dealing with? I’m wondering how people recover from major setbacks. What kept you doing? Did you become a better person? Do you feel like it made you a more authentic person?

I find it hard to find people to talk to especially as a introverted person. The people I do end up meeting always give me their social media but then never reach out (I get that I also don’t reach out but it tends to be out of fear that they were too fucked up to remember me or that I truly wasn’t anyone they actually wanted to talk to again, as that happens way too often). Now I’ve never minded being isolated or “alone” in a sense but there are times I go through some things that I just wish I had someone to talk to about it and maybe even get some advice. Now that’s the other thing, I am a pretty understanding person and I like to look at the situation from all ways and it’s hard to find those who do the same and don’t instantly throw the situation in a “fuck him” “fuck that” category instead of talking it out and giving me valid points to look at. That too id like to see men’s perspective as well with certain things but it tends to always end up coming up with hidden intentions or trying to get at me instead of just becoming a friend. I just feel like I’m at a pivotal place in my life where I am changing and figuring out a lot of what I believe in and there are just times I wish I had someone to really talk through these things in a non-judgmental and objective discussion.

when i had a group work with 3 other classmates, they tried to use the fact that they "included" me in their group work as a way to bargain friendship from me.
Sure, i'm grateful they did, but it's supposed to be work. I could work even with someone i don't like. It doesn't mean anything.
I sent one of them a document via mail and she thought that was a sign of friendship.
Another one complained that i didn't make an effort to get to know her or be her friend despite the fact that they included me in their work, as if i owed her anythign in the first place.
It's a bit manipulative. And imo, if someone really wanted to get to know you they would've, without you needing to beg for crumbs of attention or affection from them.

Last year, I scored 80 percentile in CAT while working full-time as a software engineer. I also managed around 220 in NMAT. Scoring 80 percentile with almost no preparation made me believe that if I gave myself a proper chance, I could hit the 99 percentile mark.

So, I made a bold decision—I left my job, took a drop year, and joined offline coaching to dedicate myself entirely to CAT preparation. For the past eight months, I worked harder than ever before. My AIMCAT scores reflected my progress, with consistent 95+ percentile and VRC touching 45 marks at times. I was confident, maybe even hopeful, that this year would be my year.

But life, as it often does, had other plans. Today, I checked my CAT response sheet, and I can’t even describe the devastation I feel. I’ve scored less than last year. Despite everything I sacrificed, everything I put into this—my time, my energy, my dreams—it feels like it all slipped through my fingers.

What hurts even more is that I didn’t seriously prepare for other exams. NMAT is two days away, and I feel completely shattered. My heart was entirely in CAT, and now I don’t know what’s next.

I’m not even sure why I’m writing this—maybe just to process my feelings, maybe to find some clarity. I’ve learned that life doesn’t care about your plans, your efforts, or your expectations. All you can do is pick yourself up and keep moving forward, even when it feels impossible.

If anyone has been through something similar, I’d love to hear how you dealt with it. Right now, I’m trying to find even a sliver of hope to hold onto.

A few years ago, I got to thinking what my "ideal" Christmas/holiday time would be like, and none of it included family (and then guilt ensued because...). And then I very recently stumbled upon wellness and study retreats which were held during this time, and thought that those actually encapsulated the notion of what I was looking for. Am I the only one who thinks that this would be a cool way to spend the holiday instead?

According to Reuters: "The U.S. Federal Trade Commission has opened a broad antitrust investigation into Microsoft (MSFT.O), including of its software licensing and cloud computing businesses, a source familiar with the matter said on Wednesday."

Most of the big tech companies are facing antitrust probes. As a founder and leader of tech companies, I can tell you that companies that become very large and dominate their market, must have probably used unethical or illegal practices to get there, like corruption or anticompetitive practices.

My laptops running Windows kept crashing from viruses. When I first started using Windows PCs, when I opened many windows, they would usually eventually crash. I never had that problem with Unix computers. Right now I am only using an Android phone, which is better, and based on Unix. My next laptop is going to be some form of Unix. You don't have to use MS office, you can use Google or other applications.

Which is your favourite OS? Mine is Unix.

Reference: https://www.reuters.com/technology/microsoft-faces-wide-ranging-us-antitrust-probe-2024-11-27/

I received a fake email today morning for meta verification and I have a insta page with 28k followers and I accidentally clicked on confirm now but didn't give any login information. Is my ID safe ?

Who/what rap era don't the new age really know about?

For me it would be that Crank That era (watch me crank it watch me roll, watch me supaman that hooooe, now watch me yooouulll crank that Soulja boy), that lil Jon (YEEAAHH! WHAT??), lil scrappy (we'll knock a hata out), to that chingy era (I like the way you do it right thurr right thurr), to that 90s and R&B Usher, Omarion, etc.

What y'all think tho?

In response to another post I made... It's worse than the systems we live in.

A question that I have been grappling with for years—“What the hell is wrong with us?”—was the wrong one. The truth isn’t that something is inherently broken or flawed in us. The truth is that we are traumatized. Individually and collectively, we’ve been shaped by centuries of pain, fear, and disconnection, passed down like an inheritance we didn’t ask for. This trauma has locked us into survival mode, keeping us reactive, fearful, and isolated. Worse, it’s written into the systems we’ve built, which are nothing more than reflections of our wounds. Systems like capitalism, colonialism, and exploitation aren’t the problem themselves, they’re symptoms of our collective trauma. They thrive on secrecy, fear, and shame, consuming us like a rabid, cornered animal that lashes out even as it devours itself.

Healing starts with carrying our cross, the weight of our pain, trauma, and responsibility; not by dragging it through the mud, but by lifting it willingly. This isn’t martyrdom. It’s about acknowledging what’s yours to bear and taking it to the crucible. The crucible isn’t destruction; it’s transformation. It refines us. The wood of the cross isn’t burned away; it’s reshaped, its matter transformed into something essential and meaningful. Surrendering your cross isn’t about giving up; it’s about letting go of what no longer serves you in service to a higher ideal. Without a “why,” surrender becomes avoidance. With it, surrender becomes liberation.

The “why” is where we’ve gone wrong. For too long, humanity’s goal has been survival at all costs, driven by fear and disconnection. That “why” is killing us. Our new goal must be connection, healing, and sustainability; not just for ourselves but for each other and the Earth that made us. This means building a universal ground floor where no one sinks below basic dignity and safety. Healing trauma doesn’t just change individuals; it rewires entire systems. A healed population rejects systems of harm because their actions naturally align with values that serve humanity as a whole.

But the system won’t go quietly. History shows us that every time humanity steps toward hope, fear strikes back. JFK, MLK, Malcolm X; all leaders who inspire us to be better are almost always struck down by the very systems they threaten. Their deaths weren’t random; they were fear lashing out at hope, dragging us back into the cave. Yet every time, the light they carried stays lit a little longer.

The system as we know it will collapse, it’s inevitable. The question is whether we’ll meet that collapse healed or fractured. If we dismantle it while healing, we can transform it into something better. If we collapse unhealed, we’ll repeat the cycle of trauma. Either way, healing isn’t optional. It’s the crucible we all face. And in that crucible, what no longer serves us—our fear-based beliefs, our exploitative systems—must be refined into something aligned with connection, dignity, and sustainability.

We can’t rewrite the past. We can’t undo what’s been done. But we can transform it by being better, by abolishing the systems that allowed this harm in the first place, and by carrying our cross willingly to the crucible. The Earth made us, and we’re enough—not because of what we’ve done, but because we’re still here. The only thing left to do is heal, align, and move forward. Heal your pain, carry your cross, and transform yourself into the kind of person who builds a better world.

I'm having a really hard time at the moment and I don't know if this is the right place for this, but whatever.

I could use advice.

I (38M) have been told for the first time that I am appreciated.

By a man on his death bed.

For context, the man I'm referring to is my grandmother's second husband (step grandfather?), Papa Carl.

He's a very good man. A life long farmer and the man who put my grandma back together after my grandfather's death.

Well, about a week ago, he was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor and will not live to see Christmas.

Today, during a visit to the hospital he's in, he waved me over to tell me something.

"I just want you to know that I appreciate everything that you've been doing that shouldn't have been your responsibility and everything that you've shouldered so that she (my mom) can do for us (him and gma) the way she does. That was hard for you, especially with you dealing with your own problems and I want you to know how much it means to me."

This is not only the first time anyone has ever said that they appreciate me, but it was said by a man who has done more for me and my family than we could ever repay and has never asked for anything in return.

Besides the occasional extra pair of hands on the farm or around his house.

And I'm just sitting here with my family, waiting for him to die or go home on hospice, whichever comes first.

I feel so angry about therapy/therapists. To be clear I didn't feel this way 20 years ago before I went into therapy because I felt I needed this help for myself.

There's 2 major issues that I needed to talk about in therapy - major trauma/abuse in my childhood & very disabling chronic illness that started when I was 18.

I believe that none of the therapists I went to tried to understand these issues. They would get a lot of important things wrong.

I think I have heard going to therapy is like having a mirror put in front of you to reflect your life.

For me, it felt more like having distorted mirrors, like funhouse mirrors in front of me.

This annoyed me so much. I've suffered so much from lies and distortion of the truth by my family when I was growing up. That my therapists didn't care about the truth really bothered me.

I tried addressing these issues with them, and that got me into a lot of trouble. They didn't like being challenged and just responded with anger towards me and rejection.

I would like to clarify that I am on disability because of my health issues and this mean that I mainly availed of therapists who accepted a sliding scale and/or were part of a government help type of thing I mention this as this could maybe in part explain that I received under par services.

Anyway, I feel shocked and incredibly disappointed and very sad as well as angry for all these bad experiences I have had with therapists.

I still feel I need this help (therapy) but don't believe that there are any therapists out there who would care to listen to me and listen to my story and understand some of the important details of it .

I don't know, I just started thinking about this. A lot of people love to broadcast their holidays to everyone on social media platforms but at what point does it become arrogance and showing off? Why exactly do people feel the need to show everyone what they're doing?

And does anyone find it a lil weird how we post "Happy X holidays" on our pages or "happy birthdays" on people's pages opposed to just directly contacting people?

We've all probably done it, or do it now, but really thinking about it, is it a lil weird to anyone else?

I have this subject in uni that for many reasons I couldn't finish, and now I have skipped the exam beacuse i didn't study for it (i really don't like it, but i had a long time to study for it).

Am I an asshole for feeling guilty about not doing it?

According to this course on complexity science, there are four possible paths for us:

Technology miracle; Green Tech miracle; Creative descent; Collapse.

Society and the economy etc., together make up civilization or the cultural system. Which is the most complex adaptive system that exists. The more complex the system, the more fragile, and the greater the energy needed to sustain it. And the more difficult to predict it's future.

Out of the four, what are their chances?

AI including generative AI and machine learning, with other technology like blockchain and internet of things, are techno commercial miracles. Along with other non computer miracles like 3D printing and synthetic biology.

As a techno optimist, I am hoping for both a techno and green tech miracle. I would rate their chances in descending order, from techno to green to descent to collapse.

But there is a lot of variation in the world. With some regions in the world stable and rich, and some unstable and poor. So there might be slightly different futures for different regions. We should increase the trade, educational and other linkages to ensure, that human technology creativity benefits reaches the most people, in most regions of the world.

My sister is renting me out her basement, she said that the basement and upstairs would be treated like 2 separate apartments when we originally agreed to me moving in. Now she's saying she's going to write a chore list for everyone (including me) which makes 0 sense.

She basically wants to use me to do the stuff she doesn't want to do. I already do all the chores I need to do myself downstairs. i.e. clean my bathroom/kitchen as well as clean my room. But now shes wanting me to do her dishes, clean her bathroom, clean her back yard ect.

Do I need to write up a lease? or agreement forum to have? because shes wanting me to do all this work otherwise she will cut off my power/internet if I don't do them, despite that never being an agreement when I moved in. I've been living here 4 or 5 months now and all of a sudden she wants me to start doing her chores on top of mine.

I often struggle to understand how some Americans remain willfully ignorant about the existence of race and racism in our country. Racism isn’t just about overt acts like using slurs or giving someone a hard stare—it’s deeply embedded in systemic policies and laws that have shaped our nation. For instance, in The Color of Law by Richard Rothstein, the history of racial segregation in the United States is laid bare with factual evidence. The book details how, well into the 1960s and 70s, laws and policies were intentionally designed to disadvantage Black Americans, creating inequalities that persist today—even though many of those laws have been overturned.

There is undeniable evidence of how racism has harmed non-white communities, yet some people act as though it never happened or believe that racism magically ended with the Civil Rights Movement—or worse, with the Civil War. How can people be so ignorant and willfully obtuse when a single Google search or reading a book could clearly reveal the truth???

According to Reuters: "Norway is not part of the EU's customs union, the common agriculture and fisheries policies, the monetary union, trade policy, foreign and security policy and justice and home affairs."

Norway is part of the European Economic Area, which means it's part of the single market, and has free flow of people, goods, and services. And also importantly it is a signatory to the European Convention on Human Rights.

As such, there is no hurry, to join the EU. The most important priveleges are the human rights protection afforded by the ECHR. I just hope that the ECHR is fully enforced. And the exceptions for national security or public morality are reduced or removed.

Which European institutions is your country a part of? Which institutions should it join?

Reference: https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/eu-no-vote-anniversary-more-norwegians-want-join-bloc-2024-11-27/