I cold approached a shy girl 2 weeks ago from my college. She was showing strong IOIs and she accepted to go out on a walk with me, so we exchanged numbers. The following day I invited her to a dance social over text but she said "thank you so much for the invite, but I can't make it tonight. Hope you have fun", then I followed up with "no problem, are you free tomorrow to ___" but no response. This was two weekends ago. I'm going to try inviting her to lunch on campus one last time to see if it works.

My question is, how many times should I persist in asking out a cold approach lead?

Hey looking for a wingman in Taipei. Going to hit up bars near Taipei 101 (supposedly its a good area for it?) I'm not advanced, but want to see what I can do here. Hit me up if you're around!

As we grow older, most of us look back and realize how much we've learned about relationships, attraction, and dating. If you could go back in time and share just one golden piece of advice with your younger self to help them navigate the world of seduction and dating, what would it be?

Would it be something about confidence? A practical tip on approaching people? Or maybe a lesson learned the hard way?

In this post I want to give you a glimpse of what kind of women you can meet and date when you do real life approaches.

In the last year I have dated

• A girl that played basketball for a Spanish national basketball team
• A marketing manager that manages a a big team in Fortune 500 company
• American Ivy league lawyer who was working for a company involved in Trump’s trial
• A premium masseuse who once gave a massage to Robert De Niro

And what’s the common thing with all of these girls? I approached them on a street with no prior connection, only 200 Instagram followers, and a black 8 euro Tshirt from H&M.

So let me give you a bit more detail about these experiences.

Spanish basketball player

So I ran into this girl while she was sitting on a bench here on the high street. She had long dark hair and eyes and a cute smile. We had a really amazing conversation, so we exchanged contacts and were texting, however, she was not keen on coming out until one day she said she actually has a boyfriend.

6 months later while on a trip I got a text from her - “Hey, you’re still in Barcelona?” We met up for a date and apart from being very beautiful, she was the funniest girl I have ever met. For me, if a girl has good banter and back and forth, it’s such a big turn on for me. She played for the Spanish national women’s squad and our Latvian men’s team had recently beat Spanish men’s team in World Championships which was a big deal, so I told her I could probably take her 1on1 and we had similar teasing back and forth. 

At the same time, she had that cute aura about her and was super smart as well - you cannot make as good money playing women’s basketball as you do with men’s, so she was not going to turn pro and instead was doing some kind of complicated bio degree. For our first date she took me to her favourite hot chocolate place - a very romantic kind of gesture.

We dated for a few weeks, and I was happy to keep going if we kept it open but she was against it, so it had to end. But I’m very happy I met her, and honestly she is one of the coolest girls with hands down the best sense of humour I’ve encountered. 

Fortune 500 marketing manager

So this girl I ran into after she was coming from work. She had nice curly girl and she looked great in her tight blue jeans. She was very surprised I approached her, but in a positive way, so we met for a drink a few days after. She seemed very curious about the situation and me approaching her because she usually met guys on online apps and said she came out with me due to curiosity. She slowly opened up and shared that her last dates haven’t gone so good - one guy was super weird and awkward, the other guy was judging her for working so hard (as he was intimidated by her work position).

This girl lived on the outskirts of Barcelona in a small town, and one day I went to visit her. She picked me up in her car, showed me around her hometown, and then we went to Mercadona (Spanish grocery shop) and bought ingredients to make pizza in her apartment. And of course since she works so much and had a tight back and neck, a massage was a must! It was really an awesome day with great conversation, and I have great memories of it.

Overall she was a very sweet and lovely girl, and I hope she is doing great.

American Ivy League lawyer

This girl was doing a solo trip in Barcelona and I met her while on her last day. She had beautiful blonde hair and big blue eyes and a great tan, so I needed to talk to her. I was actually walking with a friend of mine who was about to go home, so when I approached this girl, I told her - well, look, Im with a friend, but let's go for a drink now, let me just say bye to him. And she said yes

So we went to a bar and it was definitely a very interesting date. She explained to me how the law works differently in the USA and Europe, and of course I was curious to hear more on the details about the Trump trial that her company had been involved with. And her salary made me almost spit out my drink.

Even though she was very chatty, she was also shy when it came to flirting and touching which is what I have noticed with American girls. She asked me if all European men went about dating like me because it felt different to her usual experiences in America where you chit chatted and talked about work for 2 hours with no flirting and then they asked her if she wanted to sleep with them (her words, not mine).

This girl was interesting because she ended up coming home with me but was not sure about going all the way, and I found out it was because she had a fear of being judged. Apparently she had hooked up with someone on the first day, and this guy made her feel like a sl*t. I also found out no one had never given her an orgasm even though she had had a boyfriend and had slept with multiple guys.

I said - okay, forget about sex, let me just try to make you cum (I thought it would be an interesting challenge) to what she said it is not possible, but was open to trying. All I did was just ask her what she liked (a question that no guy had ever asked her which blew my mind) and it worked. And after that of course, she wanted to have sex.

I walked her back to her hotel at 4AM and wished her a safe journey back. When I go to New York someday, I hope to see her again.

Pro masseuse

I met this girl on a cold dark evening, and she agreed to meet another day but only as friends (as she recently broke up with her bf and didn’t want to date)

In these situations I usually use the “seductive amigo” frame where I basically act as a very flirty friend.

Anyways, we met up a few times, once she took me to her favourite tea place which was pretty cool.

It was fun to hear her stories of clients who were constantly soliciting her to do “special massages”. The stories were funny but at the same time very creepy, and I was surprised how some of her clients who were wealthy and serious guys would go about trying to get her out in such immature and clearly ineffective ways.

We met up a few times and eventually slept together, and I had the honour of giving her a massage which she rated as 7 out of 10 - don’t know if she was being polite or if it was real but I was satisfied with that score coming from a pro masseuse.

Conclusion

So these are just a few stories from my dating  life, and I just want to illustrate what kind of experiences you can have when you go out and approach women. There is nothing special about me apart from the fact I learned solid dating social skills and took a lot of action.

I want to inspire you to also seek these kinds of experiences as you don’t need to be famous or be a billionaire to date these kinds of girls and yes - you can meet them on the street.

Also this is a lot more than just having casual sex and with many of these women I connected on a true emotional level, and I had many chances to enter a classic monogamous relationship if that’s something I had wanted to do.

For me personally these are the experiences and connections I cherish the most and give my life that vibrant colour.

And when I am on my deathbed (which is hopefully a long time away), I will remember these women and the experiences I shared with them with a smile on my face.

I hope it inspires you to go out there and take action. Life is short so don’t waste it.

Since September I have been putting in the work with daygame.

It's not a large city and sometimes there can be a lack of viable targets, but in a few hours I will normally manage 3-5 approaches, with 5 being the top end. Most days I'll top out at 4.

I normally go for a few hours 4 times per week so I would say an average of 12-15 approaches per week.

Since September, I have got mostly rejections and blowouts but 5 numbers overall.

All of which flaked, mostly after my first text with no reply.

I normally seed the date during the interaction and I am as casual and nonchalant as can be about it, so as not to appear needy.

I follow that up by text with something like "Hey, nice to meet you earlier, I am free on such and such a day. Come out, it will be fun ;)"

Bearing in mind to maintain playfulness and the suggestion of the adventures to come.

The trouble is, they so far have not even engaged at all. The last number I got, I got kind of excited because she replied really fast saying she will reply properly later but then she never did snd flaked after a follow up text.

I probably get a number once in every 20 approaches so I can't afford to let previous numbers go to waste like this.

It just seems to me that the lack of interest after jumping through all the hoops is a real let down.

Edit: My posts are finally showing up in the main forum! It seems that it was an account age issue. My account has been active for 13 days so maybe that's why.

Hey Reddit, I am asking for advice because I don't really know where I fucked up here. Perhaps someone could shine some light on this situation.

Context:
5'9
9/10 looks (people often compare me to Timothe Chalamet)
9.5/10 body (greek sculpture due to gymnastics from childhood)
Sexy hobbies

Girl from FB dating, has artistic pictures with her tits out on Insta. Very open about being poly and into BDSM/kinky culture. Thought that she's gonna be easy and that I'll just do the deed and leave.

We start chatting and I invite her out for drinks. She says that I should just come over to her place. Turns out she is really chill and we end up talking the whole night. The first few hours of dating were facing each other from across a table with no real opportunity to kino. At the end we were cuddling but I was too tired to make a sexual move and I didn't feel any reciprocity coming from her. We were both chilling without our t-shirts and sleeping naked together.

She also tells me that I'm 'cute' and 'adorable'. At some point she told me that she could my feminine energy (which I do have a lot of and am not trying to hide). This was kind of a red flag but I decided to keep going anyway.
1st meeting, no sex.

The second time I come over to her place again, half expecting to get laid at this point (Mystery's 7 hour rule or some shit). We end up talking a lot, we talk a lot about kinks and sex and stuff. She says she needs to shower and invites me to join her. I join her in the shower and try to make a move. She deflects and makes a joke. No interesting beyond that from her.

Later, we are cuddling half-naked again. I try to make a move once but she doesn't respond. At this point I decide to call it quits and just go home. I get dressed and get ready to call an Uber. She is surprised and asks me what's going on. I tell her that she's clearly not attracted to me and she doesn't have to be but that this is just making me feel unwanted so I'm going. She says she doesn't want just a one-night stand and that she likes me enough to want to take it slowly with me.

We talk a lot about sex and past relationships and stuff again and go back to cuddling naked. I try to make a third move again and she rejects it again. It's 4am at this point and I get ready to leave again. She is super shocked and doesn't want to be alone. She tells me that when she first saw me she was actually super horny but she cut down her libido on purpose because she didn't want a ONS. She says that it's precisely because I'm that attractive to her that she wants to wait. She then tells me that she is sapiosexual (after telling me about her various ONS before). I stay out of pity so that she doesn't feel bad but am really frustrated and horny all the time.

Is she just using me for attention? She seems to really like my personality and my looks but she says she is suppressing her libido on purpose which is kind of painful to me. Should I just give up at this point or give it a third meeting and see if I can get laid at that point?

If I can get friendzoned to the point of showering with someone without them having sexual attraction to me despite being a solid 9/10, then I really do deserve the cuck of the year award. I'm really embarrassed that I let it get to this point honestly. I should know better at this point in my life.

Delhi / Mumbai anywhere in India ? How are the women there compared to the west (Euro) ?

Hey guys, I’m 24M and just landed in Seattle for two weeks. It’s my second time in the US. The first time, I came right after a breakup, so tbh, I wasn’t in the mood to meet people or try anything, just visiting. But this year, I’m single, more in the mood, and I figured, why not see how things go with American girls? Plus, I love this city, so that could be an excuse to stick around longer haha.

A bit of context: I’m French, and back home we always hear that, supposedly, American girls love the French accent or that it’s “easy” with them when you’re French. But tbh, I’m just a regular guy, not a model lol. I wouldn’t know how to rate myself, maybe a 6.5/10, though I’ve had a bit of success in France lately.

I’m looking to meet girls maybe from the uni idk? I’m mostly into Latinas, Indian, or Middle Eastern girls. But I’m a bit lost. Where could I find girls like that who might be open to meet someone in Seattle? Any specific spots? (I’m alone during the day, and my English is decent, but I struggle when people talk fast or use a lot of slang, so communication can be tricky.)

And on socials, like Instagram, how does it work in the US? How do you not come off as a creep when you DM someone? What’s the approach? Follow first? React to a story (with or without following)? The first time I came, a few girls I liked popped up in my suggestions, but I didn’t have the guts to make a move. Now that I’m here, I’m thinking, why not give it a shot?

Anyway, I’m looking for tips, tricks, or even just stories from people with experience (French or not). Is it really “easier” over here, or is that just a myth? I’m not trying to take it too seriously, just curious to see how it goes without stressing over it.

20M in uni

I'm someone who before uni had no sexual or romantic experience. After coming to uni I ended up getting a big glow up (lost 8-9 kg over 2 months - although in an unhealthy way, fixed my balding issue for the most part(finasteride and also toppik temporarily), started wearing earrings which get complimented a decent amount, fixed up my beard, better clothing sense) largely because I had some really good looking stylish guys in my flat so I tried learning from them, took a lot of work but I'm proud of the change

I notice I get a lot more looks than before, and people have straight up said or alluded to that I'm good looking fairly regularly. Even a few days ago a guy that I saw a while before said how girls in a group he was in before thought I was a fuckboy and that they thought I was "kinda hot". I've also sometimes been hit on by guys and girls. Istg just yesterday I met a girl for the first time in my badminton club and she was eyeing me the entire time. I played spin the bottle on Halloween with a small group (about 5 guys, 3 girls), and 2 of the girls got asked who the fittest guy in the room was and they both said me

But the issue is, this almost never translates, I've been in uni for 2.5 months and had play with just one girl (one of the girls I played spin the bottle with), and that girl had to literally say to my friend that she would be down to fuck me.

I just don't get how to escalate or get the convo in that direction. Like what do you say? How do you go from a regular conversation to flirting to making out or fucking? How does it look irl? Because with some of my friends it seems to just happen all of a sudden, they just give off that vibe and the girls catch on somehow. I can make conversation with people easily, I can make them laugh etc but I can't create that sexual tension that I see a lot of people do. I think it's partly because I almost feel guilty or shitty flirting with girls because it feels like I'm about to just do a massive shift in the convo, it makes me feel shitty expressing sexual desire, although I know that's stupid.

How do you guys do it? And most importantly how does it actually look in practice?

When a woman says this without demeaning or not seeing you as an actual threat, is this good?

So I have a female friend been her friend for like 10 years she dated a deceased friend he overdosed on fentanyl a few years ago and I got way more comfortable and know her a lot better through his death also she was childhood friends with both of my kids moms. Well this woman is smoking hot once in a lifetime woman and we have so much in common she is an Aquarius and I’m a Gemini. I’m sure I was in a friend zone situation with her for awhile and that was cool because I was pursuing a lot of different women while I was building a connection with her.

We started all this in dms on instagram still text each other from that app rn I have a clothing line so I would hit her up to model the new gear and come to my house and smoke weed and I take her out to eat we did that twice and I used to just not make no moves and watch for cues but she is so good at playing neutral

So recently i took her out for breakfast then not planned I asked her to come to my house and she agreed I revealed to her that I like her and asked her about all the energy we been giving each other she told me she had to process what I told her that day But the hug she gave me she let me rub all over her butt and back it was a long hug like she was happy I finally was real about us

Fast forward a week later today I’m still flirting with her in the dms I ask her wen can we hang out after flirting she tells me we can hang out Friday morning

Any words of advice to seal the deal with this woman I think it’s a complex situation but attraction is definitely there

Basically the title. When a woman says that you write beautifully or you have a written a beautiful poem, what do you reply back?

Hey everyone! I could use some advice because tonight is a big night for me. I’ve been talking to this super sweet and ridiculously cute guy for a while, and we’ve decided to finally hang out one-on-one. We’ve been vibing over text, and there’s definitely chemistry, but here’s my dilemma:

We agreed to meet up at his place, but now I’m second-guessing if that’s the right move. Shouldn’t he be the one coming to my place instead? I mean, I’m excited to see him, but I also want to make sure I’m handling this in a way that feels safe and balanced.

What do you all think? Is it better for me to go to his place for the first hangout, or should I suggest he comes to mine? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences with this kind of situation!

When doing nightgame, it’s common to hop between bars and clubs, scouting for potential prospects. This usually means walking into a venue, checking out the options, and leaving if nothing catches your eye, sometimes returning an hour or so later to repeat the process.

One thing I’ve noticed is that bartenders often greet you when you enter, especially in less crowded spots. If you’re not buying anything and this cycle repeats, I wonder if it might raise suspicion among the staff. While this isn’t usually an issue in busy venues, it feels more noticeable when the place is quiet, and you can feel the bartender’s eyes on you as soon as you walk in. This had lead me to trying to observe from the outside instead of walking in.

What are your thoughts or experiences on this? Do you think this behavior could create issues, and if so, how do you handle it? Buying something at every bar can get expensive, after all.

I had and still have approach anxiety. Here are a few warm up things that work for me:

1. Starting night with something light. “Do you want help in taking a picture? “. “What do you think of my hair style?”.
2. Exposure therapy: this is psychologically proven to work. I imagine approaching the prettiest girl around.
3. Do approaches that are sure to burn — like yesterday I approached a woman who was in a hurry. She was not going to stop. But this helps me warm up even more.
4. Talk to bouncer — when he asks for id or not ask for id.

I don’t know if this happens to anyone else, but when I’m talking to multiple women at the same time, they usually reply back to me around the same times that day. I’m not going to be as extreme as to say it’s some sort of ‘hive mind’ mentally, but it’s just interesting to observe that the women I talk to text at similar times of the day.

I am hoping we can learn from each other’s mistakes. Here are two mistakes I made yesterday in night game in SF:

1. There were four girls walking in opposite direction on same side of the street. I was interested in one. I only opened with her. She actually stopped. Meaning she was curious. The friends cockblocked me and took her away. What I should have really done is — opened with all of them (what are you girls celebrating). And then tell the most vocal that I am going to steal her friend for a minute.

2. Trying a pull after close at a bar. I opened with two girls. They both wanted to go after party. I did not have logistics for after party nailed. In fact I don’t have an idea. I live an hour away (in San Jose).

In the past week I've been approached by a few girls at the bar.

"Hey you're cute, are you single?" Type openers.

I just said "yeah" and continued smoking my cigarette or drinking my beer. I knew they were flirting but I just error'd lmao

Sebastian here from GallantGentleman, I did free coaching this weekend with a guy that has high approach anxiety. I'll briefly explain the steps on how I was able to help him get a date even though he was anxious and inexperienced.

Infield video link is here: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/C6Z1x69YpCY

1. First step was teaching him basic techniques. Taught him what to say/what not to say and what to do/what not to do.
2. Next step was the more difficult step. I had to drill him on how to unlearn a lot of his bad habits when talking to women. He had trouble smiling and he used very timid or poor language when talking. For example, he kept saying "I'd like to get to know you better". I told him to change it "We can get to know each other better". Creating a "we" mentality is a great way to plant the seed of being a couple early on. In the clip he said "We can get coffee some time", so he followed that instruction very well.
3. Monkey see-Monkey do is what he said allows him to learn best. So after we were finished drilling, I approached a few girls and he immediately saw how receptive the girls were to me without me doing anything outlandish or strange in order to get results.

For free coaching in the New York area, feel free to inbox me.

Serious inquiries only.

The approach anxiety that I experience is terrible. The only time I ever got laid I was actually approached, not the one approaching. So of course that made it easy but, I can’t rely on it. So when I go out I often don’t even bother because I have no confidence on the approach. When I say “hi my name is x, what’s yours” it just falls flat. They answer me quickly and then I immediately see disinterest on their face. It feels kinda shit when I just give up before even trying . I just don’t know for the life of me what to say. Once I get talking I think I’m actually good at conversing but I can’t take the initial step. What is the right thing to say to start the conversation?

I'm struggling with this question and would love some input. How much should I care about looking 'downbad' or pathetic when I'm talking to a girl I'm interested in?

For example, is it bad to double text sometimes, to be the one who reaches out after an argument, or to show that I'm really into her? I’m not saying I’m in love or anything and im not looking for something serious but we both enjoy the benefits of staying close so i want to keep that connection .

Part of me thinks I should just be honest and not worry about looking desperate cuz im just being myself i guess, but another part of me doesn’t want to come off as clingy or obsessive or like I’m putting in more effort than she is . How do you find the right balance between showing interest and keeping your self-respect

I’m kinda learning to cope with these kinds of situationships, so I’m not sure if I should care about all that or just learn from what I consider mistakes as I go

What’s up fellas, I have been out of the game for about 11 years. Looking to get back out there and prefer to not do it alone but will go for it if I have to. I am open to location Spectrum, LA, or SD. I am probably somewhere between beginner and intermediate. I have never really done approach but I have done street preaching in high school which is much harder. I had some game in the past just a little rusty and I like the idea of the pressure to do it with someone that it forces you to go. In sales know so I know how to bullshit just need to get my ass out there. Hit me up!

Basically what the title says. Planed to hook up with a gorgeous blonde in 2h for the first time with her and i'm having anxiety issues. I'm afraid i might get erectile dysfunction because of it and couldn't get it on once i'm with her. How can i fix this and enjoy the expiriance ? Would drinking alcohol help ? It helped in the past with anxiety but i never had sex drunk.

Update: Just got home a while ago. Things whent alot better than expected. I took this subs advice (except the avoid alcohol ones) and although my jewls weren't veary cooperative at the begining we managed to pull thorough and had a blast. We even had diner date right after so i'm veary happy how things turned out. Thank you to everyone that took their time reading my bs and helped.

This is not an educational post as I already have plenty of those. I am just here to share a completely bizzare night out at a bar i've never been to before.

I've had many crazy bar experiences and i've posted about them before but this might be the craziest of them all.

Let's start from the beginning of the night out. I

Saturday Night At 10:00PM

I started the night by going to usual bar that I tend to frequent on Friday's and Saturdays. It's always a great opportunity to meet new people there. Sometimes, when I go there I meet people and we hang out during the night.

This night, a friend randomly appeared and I called him over to the table. We discussed the plans for the night that he had and he asked if I wanted to tag along.

2:00AM

I haven't been to all the clubs in the area so he brought me to a new one. I don't want to bore with with details at the club since nothing special happened. We hit the main dance floor and I essentially ended up approaching two girls. Technically, I grabbed the arm of one of the girls and she didn't seem bothered. Her friend looked at her for a signal to see if she wants her to pull her away and she said no. So we ended up dancing together. I did attempt to kiss her but it just never happened. She was not one of the girls who will make out with a stranger in a club. This was further proved as she wasn't dancing with anyone else the entire time.

At some point, two guys approach us while were clearly dancing together. He tries to set her up with his friend while i'm CLEARLY with her. He's trying and she's just nodding and ignores them. They then walk away when they realize she doesn't want to leave me. Those two guys are complete losers. I think one of them spoke to her earlier and probably lost her and found her again. I was just laughing at them. No respect at all.

4:00AM

So my friend ended up finding a girl interested in him so he told me he's leaving with her to obviously have sex. I further confirmed this today when I asked him about it. I do find it funny that when the stepped away to the washroom, she told me she liked me lol. Not that it's important but some girls are pretty funny and sneaky. I simply thanked her and made nothing more of it.

I met a guy at that club who said he would bring me to an after party that literally runs until 12:00PM Noon. I've never been to one or that one. I decided to agree and tagged along with him.

6:00AM (The chaos begins)

This is the turning point of the entire night. I couldn't even have predicted what was in store for me.

We arrive at this very cool after party bar. Unfortunately there was a entrance fee but it was worth it. We enter the main floor and it's decently packed but it got busier as the night got later. Immediately, my friend introduces me to a few friends of his. 2 girls and a guy. I greet them and don't think too much of it. We exchange basic conversations.

At this point, I noticed one girl in the group just kept looking at me. Like we locked eye contact a dozen times. This is important for later. Anyhow, the reason I knew she was interested was because no matter where I walked in the bar / dance area, without a doubt I would catch her looking at me. Her friends were also watching me the entire time. It would be an easy win but I don't like to end things so easily.

This is where shit starts accumulating.

6:30AM

At one point, I just decided to dance and vibe to music alone. A guy approached me and asked why i'm dancing alone. He also said I should be giong for girls and saying nice compliments. I explained that I was just chilling for the moment. He then asked to run 2's. I agree and we try to find people to approach. We approach 2 girls together but nothing much came of it. He shortly after said he has to leave so then I was alone until another guy approaches me to talk. (lol).

Anyways, this guy was chill and just wanted to hang out with me. He was chill.

7:00AM

At around this time, I noticed this one very cute girl dancing with some other guy. I was thinking he pretty much has her on lockdown. How more wrong could I have been. At one point she leaves him to go to washroom and then she comes back and notices me. She then approaches me and compliments me. We start dancing together and lmao the other guy seemed pretty upset but you can't win everything.

So i'm talking and dancing with this girl. She's hugging me and everything. I could tell she really liked me. At this point, do you remember the very first girl from a group I spoke about? She was watching me this entire time and so were her friends. I could tell she was jealous.

So anytime I would walk away from the girl I was dancing with just for a moment. Other guys would dance with her but she would always come back to me. I have no clue what I said or did but she was like a magnet that just kept seeking me out.

7:30AM (She pushed another girl for talking to me)

Let's fastforward a bit and now girl #3 enters the picture. A different girl who I haven't seen before comes near me as the girl I was dancing with walked away somewhere. So this girl reaches her hand out to me to try to dance with me.

The other girl (#2) sees her and she LEGIT pushed her the fuck away. The guy I was with and I could not believe what we just witnessed LOL. After she pushed her, she walked to me and hugged me claiming me as hers. I have never had this happen before.

The other girl she pushed (girl #3) basically made a gesture and then they ended up speaking about it but she never apologized. I could only imagine what all the other people at the bar were thinking as there was plenty of people around who definitly saw.

Anyhow, we continue dancing and eventually we start making out for a bit. Let's fast forward to the next milestone.

8:30AM

At this point, the girl (#2) who I was dancing with ended up sitting down somewhere because she was getting tired. By this point as well, more and more girls are coming to this bar. Do you remember that original girl I was dancing with at the club at 2:00AM? She randomly ended up coming to this bar as well and we noticed each other.

I approached her to talk and after a while, the girl #2 (who claimed me) ends up seeing me talking to her and then just walks to me and says "Okay good for you. You can have her then.". Me being drunk, I told her she's just my friend and i'm simply talking to her. Anyways, she was mad and walked away. After some time, I found her and we fixed things lol.

9:00AM

Remember the girl who got pushed away? She finds me later sitting down at on one of the seats and then immediately we just start making out. The girl who pushed her saw this but didn't do anything lol. I also didn't care. So yeah, we're just there sitting down kissing and then after a while I got bored and tried to hook her up with my friend (that other dude who was hanging around me the whole night). That was extremely difficult because she wanted me but at some point I finally got them to be a thing.

10:00AM

Let's now enter girl #4.

Place is quite packed even though its early as fuck lol. I still have lots of energy from all the redbulls and apparently so does everyone else.

By this point, all of the girls i've kissed / danced with / interacted with are ALL still at the bar. So now with this new girl, I noticed her sitting on the opposite seats from me. I decided to open conversation with her. Flirted a bit and then relocated to sit beside her. We eventually start getting touchy and I tell her we should move to the hallway area. It's dark and perfect to make out. We do, and yeah; it gets steamy over there.

At some point, we had a conversation regarding leaving to (have sex) but honestly, I didn't want to leave as I was having such a great time lol. So I basically said we should stay and just keep doing what were doing. We did and eventually I wanted to go talk to others.

I returned back to the main bar area and girl #1 who has been watching me the whole night. I go to her and actually have a conversation, flirt, and then she asked me for my contact information. We swap and then she eventually leaves. We made plans to meet again for a different day.

At one point, I was dancing and kissing with about 3 or 4 girls and some guys were just giving me such dirty looks. I know they are probably regulars but it seemed like they had some negativity in them because they were not getting the attention they wanted when they tried to talk to those girls. I don't know why they would be mad at me. Girls make their choice. I saw them try to talk to the same girls I spoke to and they got nothing.

11:00AM - 12:00PM

During this time, things were pretty chill but the place still had a lot of people. I ended up just hanging out with the girl who claimed me. We actually ended up leaving together to get breakfast/lunch. She's actually pretty chill and fun to be around. We did not sleep together but we exchanged contact. She messaged me later today. Actually, 3/4 girls messaged me later today after we all slept and woke up. I'll definitly make plans to see them again to escalate,

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I skimmed some details here and there because there was a lot of stuff that happened and too much to speak about. It was definitly a wild unexpected experience but it was very fun.

Thanks for reading if you did lol.

How can one regain control of his life and relationships after 3 years of no relationship and no sex? I am fucking lost and unskilled after the big break up. Occasionally met up here and there but lead to nothing because I wasn’t that attracted to them in the first place compared to my ex. Im not saying I miss my ex but this kind of emptiness kills my mood when I think about it. Everyone around me says you have money, looks, why you don’t have any girl, I cannot say I am not attracted to girls I cross paths with. Tbh I want to work hard and take the big hard route and get what I truly want rather than settling.

About Me: I’m 26 and have never been in a relationship. A month ago, I started salsa lessons—something I never thought I’d do—and it’s been a game-changer for my confidence. I’ve also taken a couple of swing dancing lessons.

Field Report: A friend invited me to a swing dancing social, but he canceled at the last minute. I went anyway and joined the beginner’s lesson beforehand to warm up. At the event, I danced with 4-5 women, and most told me I was pretty good. I think what helped the most, is that I focused on leading them confidently, even if I only knew the basics, which seemed to work.

During a break, I made eye contact with a few women but hesitated to ask them to dance. They were gorgeous, and I felt self-conscious about just knowing the basic steps. After a while, I decided to leave and check out a disco bar I’d been wanting to visit—a spot known for attracting an older crowd.

At the bar, I started dancing alone, just enjoying the music.

First Interaction: A woman kept bumping into me, clearly trying to get my attention. I spun her around and danced briefly, but she wasn’t my type and seemed drunk, so I let it go.

Second Interaction: Later, I approached a group of women in their 50s. One of them was clearly waiting for me to make a move, so I did. We danced for a few songs, and I took the lead—spinning her, moving her hands, switching between open and closed positions. She even said I was a great dancer.

I threw in a few playful compliments: You smell amazing; everyone is watching us, you are stealing the show; just follow my lead and enjoy the music.

We got closer and she even started grinding on my leg. It felt amazing. But her friends weren’t happy, probably jealous she was getting all the attention from a younger guy. They eventually pulled her away, and despite me asking her to stay and for her number, she said no while nervously laughing. It was frustrating because she was really into it while we danced, but I think she felt self-conscious about the age difference in front of her friends.

She left, and I noticed people watching me—men and women alike. It felt great, like I was the guy everyone noticed. A little later, I saw her dancing with someone else, which stung a bit, but I stayed on the floor. After some time, I didn’t see another good opportunity, so I called it a night. She also left with her friends.

Overall, the night was a confidence boost, and I learned a lot about putting myself out there. Just wanted to share this with you and encourage you to take dancing lessons if you want to boost your game.

Any comments are welcomed and if you know a bar in NYC that targets an older crowd, let me know :)

It’s good that we celebrate positive growth and successes here, but proficiency implies prior failure: you can’t get good without first being bad.

What is one of the simp-iest things you ever did back when you didn’t know better?

Maybe someone can learn from your mistakes. Tagging as field report due to the probable content of comments.

Before they cost you more opportunities.

This post is inspired by true events. Let this be a warning to you if you identify with it.

I’m not going to ramble about my past and how things came to be for me, but suffice to say my formative experiences were such that they led to two core beliefs that have plagued me to this day:

1. Feeling fundamentally “less than” women I’m attracted to. I still fight the impulse to actively earn attraction, which is an innately backwards and counterproductive behavior. On some level, I feel that they must find me repulsive.

2. That women are innately less sexual (or are so reluctantly). The unspoken second half of that belief is “…with me”, because of the first core belief.

I need to stress now that these beliefs very rarely are actively articulated in my mind, but they influence things anyway.

How do these beliefs manifest?

• Feeling the need to “warm a woman up” before asking her out. The backwards belief here is that she finds me repulsive so proving (somehow?) that I’m not before asking her out is a way of ensuring she’ll say yes.

• A complete inability to sexualize or flirt. Again, this is out of a fear of loss. If I’m repulsive and show too much sexual intent, she’ll run for the hills.

The result of these habits is a slow dilution of attraction until it’s too late - by the time I try to make a move/ask her out, I’ve friendzoned myself.

I’m currently working to actively dig my way out of these habits, but old tendencies take deep roots. I also know for a fact that these beliefs (and others) are common, so chances are a good portion of you can relate a bit. Challenge these beliefs before you waste more opportunities with self-sabotaging behavior.

What core beliefs are you struggling with?

I get it you want to get laid but you know seduction isn’t instantaneous, right? At least if you not saying and doing the right things which 80% of you do not fall into this category. Cold approach isn’t seductive its about what you say, how you say it, confidence and listening. You can be confident and dumb, just like a siren can be dumb as rocks. this subreddit has turned into a how can I instead of substance for each other to take and apply from each other. The post are getting more dumb, its tiring can we please see some reform.

28m, Virgin but some sexual experience (giving and receiving oral, fingering, etc) Never dated but i have a pretty legitimate reason.

I was afraid my Dad would R×pe any girl i dated.

He was violent and controlling and considered me and anything i had HIS property by default and i was afraid that would include anyone i was with, so i had to reject all the girls advances on me growing up. (Theres plenty other shit but im trying to be quick here)

I had a brief fling (6 months, mostly text and phone/video calls) with a college girl at 26 through dating apps, and a really shitty first date in 5th grade, but i know realistically i have no dating experience at 28 and thats a MASSIVE red flag to women (which i acknowledge is their right)

What i want to know is should i be up front and honest about these details, or lie?

Im a fairly practiced liar, so coming up with vague but convincing details is easy for me, especially if i have time beforehand to polish certain details. i can also use my Dad being a scumbag to pad my resume with another girl or two if i need be.

I know this is prolly above your pay grade, but any advice wpuld be appreciated!