/r/regretjoining
This is a subreddit for people who regret joining the US military. This community is designed to help those who wish to leave, find a way out. Whether you are currently stuck there or are out and wish to help others do the same, you are welcome here.
This is a subreddit for people who regret joining the US military. This community is designed to help those who wish to leave, find a way out. Whether you are currently stuck there or are out and wish to help others do the same, you are welcome here.
Things you can do here.
Seek advice on how to get out.
Give advice on how to get out.
Tell your story about why you regret joining the US military.
Simply talk about how awful being in the military is.
Anyone who posts anything pro military, insults another user, engages in threatening or childish behavior will be permanently banned.
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/r/regretjoining
Hey all, I was an Airman (USAF), still in inactive reserve until late June. I've been having a hard time coping with my service. I almost feel like I don't deserve to feel bad about my service because I had a desk job, but it still gets to me that I even had a tiny hand in harming anyone. I'm just looking for someone whose gone through similar and may be able to talk.
I’m in a bad situation, and close to enlisting. I was hoping to message someone who had or currently is having a negative experience overall in the Air Force, if you wouldn’t mind answering some questions please let me know if I can message you.
Thanks!
When I was in my mid-20s I was pretty lost and had moved back in with my mom. Desperate for a solution, I looked into joining the Space Force. The name was cringe and I hated the idea of being in the military, but the benefits were too good to pass up for someone with minimal prospects. After nearly a year in the DEP I shipped out.
Pros are the GI Bill + active duty benefits, and I only have a year left on my contract and will never deploy. Cons though? I will forever have been in the Space Force, an embarrassing name with embarrassing personnel. 90% of people here don’t do anything (and I mean anything), which on paper sounds nice but is soul-crushing in its own way. Many of the NCOs and officers are the most insecure and yet somehow arrogant assholes I’ve ever worked around. Incredibly self-important while having no self-awareness and belittling others. And now this clown branch with a clown name has to serve a clown administration. I feel shame for enlisting into this at all. I always liked space and thought working with satellites would be interesting, but I didn’t think it would be like this. At least with the other branches people don’t think you’re a weirdo for having been in them.
Rant over. TYFYS.
So the title described it all basically it’s been 3 years since I got out and I was feeling like shit and I needed to take action because I was dissatisfied with my life after I got out of active duty. Well I failed to consider two things I have gotten fat as shit and I really can’t run like I use to (I haven’t worked out in over a year)
So after having my IRR recruiter sign me back in I have received orders to report. I’m not fit to serve anymore imo and I think I just made a major mistake. It’s only for a year but is there anyway I can back out or is it too late. Also it’s only been 2 months and I’m ngl I miss weed.
I’m really just not trying to show up to a unit and utterly embarrass myself for no reason. Idk why I thought this was a good idea but idk what to do now.
I hate to hear this parroted by military people for a few reasons. It can be true in certain contexts however it’s overused to death in the Army (in my experience). The dude telling you ‘the grass isn’t always greener’ in regard to your prospective post-military employment situation probably joined at 17ish and has likely NEVER worked a full-time civilian job in his life. the NCO telling you ‘the grass isn’t always greener’ in response to your collegiate aspirations never finished college. Most of the time, people repeating this phrase have no idea what the fuck they’re talking about. Next time you hear this phrase, take it with a grain of salt; especially within the military. Personally, I think the grass will inevitably be greener for the simple fact that you will no longer have to deal with stupid military shit (waking up at 5:00 AM for PT formations, formations in general, random PT tests, standing at a particular position just to address another human being, getting yelled at for wearing a beanie, etc.) So, if you’re on the fence, just hop on over to the other side. The grass is greener and you were right all along.
so basically i graduated boot camp, and have wanted out since day 1. for some reason i thought i would get a dishonorable while in for leaving but it seems like that’s not the case, im still within my 180 days since enlistment, so would any discharge be an els? also how do i start that and what’s the fastest way? i was in college and had my life straight but got swayed into false promises from my recruiter. I just wanna go back to school for my md and not deal with all the bullshit that’s holding me back.
Okay so let’s say you got out of the military after 4 years of active duty service but you are obligated to technically serve another 4 in the IRR (Individual Ready Reserve). Now, let’s say you are administered a VA disability rate. You are legally disabled and a veteran. NOW let’s say that the IRR tries to reactivate you/summon you back into active duty… can they? Or does your legally disabled status render you unable to serve?
I think I posted my story here but under a different account. I joined the Navy at 25, I shipped out on May 5, 2020, and got discharged on August 18 2020. Reason why I joined so late was because I never wanted to join the military. I was anti war, and my dad who is an Air Force veteran was a huge deadbeat. He was verbally and physically abusive, he gambled away the house payment and caused the house to get foreclosed. But I was struggling to pay for college, so I thought I'll just serve 20 years and retire with full benefits and not have to worry about college or the military anymore. During my PFA I failed my run by a minute and was experiencing terrible chest pain. I was diagnosed with a cardiac issue and was sent to RCU. During my months in RCU I was waiting to be seen by a cardiologist so I can go back into Basic Training. It was a vicious cycle. Before I could get cleared by a cardiologist I had to do a stress test. But I couldn't do a stress test because the cardiologist was always unavailable. They schedule me, but for some reason my appointment gets rescheduled, and then gets dropped on the day it was reschedule, so I would have to reschedule all over again. When I finally got the stress test completed I had to wait to be cleared by a cardiologist and the cycle started again. I couldn't go back into training because I wasn't cleared by a cardiologist, I couldn't get cleared by a cardiologist because my appointment would always get rescheduled then dropped. The RDCs just kept telling me to be patient and embrace the suck. But that's what I have been doing and I didn't understand why medical kept gaslighting me. By this time the gaslighting drove me up the wall and I said I was feeling suicidal. They gaslighted me some more and said that I was feeling suicidal because I didn't get the appointment date that I wanted when I was just tired of medical gaslighting me and refusing to tell me whether or not I can either go back to training or get separated for the cardiac issue. I was put into a psych ward and I was eventually separated for Depression, Adjustment Disorder, and some sort of personality disorder. But the doctor in the psych ward said that I was getting separated for the cardiac issue. My VA claim is 70 percent and I'm currently attending college. Sometimes a part of me wishes that I just held on a little longer and wait and see what the cardiologist would have said. I would feel less guilty about getting separated for a heart condition rather than depression. I also hate that I'm pretty much marked as a veteran now but didn't complete basic training. A part of me wanted to at least complete training because I wanted to feel like that I at least accomplished something. I have been in and out of college since I was eighteen. Completing basic training would have helped me realize that I am capable of achieving something. I still wonder if they knew that there was something wrong with my heart but didn't want to discharge me and only did it when I started telling them that I was feeling suicidal. My dad told me being in the military would have improved me, which I find laughable because that was coming from a man-child who abused his wife and kids, and had a gambling addiction since he was a teenager. Looking back on it I realized why he was so emotionally stunted. He joined the military right after high school, served 15 years (Or so he says. He served 15 years but yet his rank was technical sergeant. So he was either lying about the time her served, or he hasn't done a really good job during all that time.)
Hi guys. I’m a 25 year old male who swore in September 5th of this year and I’m set to leave for Air Force BMT in a few months and I don’t know if I want to sign my life away for the next few years. I’m currently in college for information technology and I’m set to graduate in 2 years and I’m currently working at target while living with my folks. Not in the best of spots at my age but I’m managing. I chose the military because I wanted to turn my life around but after getting a job I absolutely have no interests in doing (2a636) and my recruiter reserving said job a month before the date I told him I want to leave because of my term ending, I’m generally unhappy about the situation. A part of me wants to work on getting into a trade and finding a path without the military and another part of me wants to give it a shot and see how it goes. What should I do? I don’t wanna blow my shot at joining the Air Force because I heard if you dep out you can’t join again.
Don't know if this is the right place to post this but here goes.
I got administratively dishcarged by the military for mental health, they said I didn't qualify for a medboard. Fast forward some months and they want me to pay back part of my bonus. Fast forward even more months and it seems the VA disagreed and rated me at 90% and that I should have been medboarded.
Would a waiver on the grounds that I should have been medboarded given my medical records hold any weight. Is this worth trying??
Readiness NCO gave me this a week ago and made me sign a couple forms. One was about wanting another PEBLO, I think? The other one was to dispute LOD decision. I don't remember, I only got a copy of these 2 pages. Sgt told me I still have to report until things are "official".
How long out do I have to wait now that I've been determined unfit? It's already been over a year and I passed on appealing this since there was no need and I don't want to delay this any further.
It is just me or are most people in the military just really weird, rude, or have some sort of personality disorder? I have not had one good connection since i've been in. Their crazy always comes out.
So obviously, things are getting pretty hairy across the globe and it could theoretically be any day now that we’re called into some war I would imagine most people here don’t want to participate in. Personally, I have less than two months left before I start terminal leave and I couldn’t be more ready to gtfo. However, I have a feeling, knowing my luck, that I’ll get stop-lossed and have to serve longer than I signed for. Does anyone have a plan for how they are going to get the hell out if/when this stop loss happens? I know some people here have a decent bit of time left on their contracts and would be stuck serving if a war were to be started/escalated by the U.S. sometime soon. Frankly I’m not opposed to going scorched earth and self reporting as a weed enjoyer or playing the suicidal card.
I’m separating in a couple of months after a shitty 5 years of naval service and have been thinking of moving to another country down the line. How easy is it for a veteran to move somewhere outside the US?
Hey, I’m the person who self-reported eating a weed gummy with the intention to get out the Navy. This will be my last update for at least a while.
I signed my Adsep notification! I’m receiving a General Discharge (UHC). This is not a “bad” discharge, and an Honorable from my previous contract means I’m still going to apply for the GI Bill. I’ll get everything else regardless.
Legal didn’t have a clear sep date, but I was told “these things move quick” and to be ready for next month. I’m currently in TAPS (a class that prepares you to separate).
I did go through DRB and XOI, but after I submitted a sappy apology statement to the CO, he had a meeting with me explaining he doesn’t want to punish a self-report. But his hands were tied due to Big Navy policy and he’s just separating me with no NJP. Although I tested negative, they have to separate you off the statement alone.
I was referred for substance abuse screening and they determined I’m not addicted, but each CO decides whether or not they care about that determination. Mine didn’t. The lady at mental health confirmed my fears, and why I didn’t go the mental health route in the first place. She didn’t believe my story and belittled my reasons for being depressed and turning to drugs to cope. But it doesn’t matter, she can’t prove her suspicions and ultimately I still came out on top. Nobody in my chain has given me a hard time about this.
But they did move me out of classified spaces, a note for anyone who wants to keep their clearance. I don’t care personally as I hate government work. Might have to pay back some of my bonus but it’s worth it for my freedom. I have adequate savings
My mental health has done a complete 180 just knowing I’m getting out. My friend is letting me move in with them while I do college. Very hopeful
I took a HUGE gamble with this, and I was lucky it played out well in my INDIVIDUAL case. I don’t recommend this as anyone’s first attempt at getting out
Here for any questions. Thanks to this sub, and I wish you all luck in getting out/coping with the military!
Anyone on here smart on what the AF IRR looks like. For context, did like 11 years AD, now in the reserves for another year and a half. Getting conflicting info from Google…
TIA
I’m getting chaptered chapter 13. I’ve cleared sfl tap, cif, did phase 1 and 2 physical. Co has signed off, legal has signed off, bc has signed off. Now… we wait. My psg says I should get orders in a week or two and be out by holiday block leave. The anticipation is killing me. I’ve never hated somethin so much in my life as I do being in the army. Hoping PSGs timeline is correct
This is a vent post about me being a dumbass. I was pretty set on med school for the longest time, then I got cold feet in college and decided I wanted to pursue my childhood dream of becoming a pilot like my grandpa. I had the perfect resume for med school or grad school, I had lots of friends and family, and I come an asian community (not many in the navy).
So I go on this quest to get into flight school convinced it will help me reinvent myself. Now I’m in it and I just had the worst flight of my life and it’s just making me ruminate on everything. It seems like everyone around me feels a way about this that I don’t? It’s not that I’m not excited to be here, but I they have this drive where this is all worth the pain we go through. Me I question if I could have put this effort into something else.
On top of that I’m lonely on the other side of the country, it seems like everyone around me is already friends with each other, I go to work, gym, study, sleep. I have acquaintances here and there but that’s it. I miss my family, and no matter how long I’m in this godforsaken city it seems I will never be able to call it home. Yeah a lot of it is a me problem.
I don’t want to quit because I know I’m just having a bad day. The navy is exactly what I thought it would be, I knew it would be hard, but not a day since ocs goes by where I don’t wake up with some regret about the things and people I left behind. What if things could have been different if I never joined? I could have swallowed the regret of not pursuing this and moved on with my life. I also wonder do I have the mental health for this? Everyone else seems to handle things fine why do I freak out the first time I fuck up.
I remember back in 2007 realizing I clearly didn’t belong and my old beliefs quickly changing. I didn’t have a single friend and most people there hated me. I openly stated I didn’t want to be there and would frequently say controversial things hoping to get kicked out. I spent a ton of time online bashing the US government and finding people that wanted to join and trying to stop them. One time I made a girl cry because I intentionally let an American flag touch the ground during a stupid ceremony I wanted nothing to do with.
I even refused military discounts at stores and argued with them telling them I should pay the full price. I don’t know how many countless random people such as cashiers or waitresses that I would bring up how much I hated the navy and I only haven’t left because I would go to prison.
I remember when told the base therapist how much I hated everyone because they were stupid hateful rednecks and I was planning to eventually leave the US (which I did years later). He was horrified and said, “why have they not separated you yet?” He wrote a recommendation to my commanding officer saying I absolutely needed to be separated but it was denied. My own father was worried about my mental health and contacted lawyers and eventually a congressman hoping to help me get out.
None of this worked and I had to resort to pretending to be suicidal which I had to do twice. Is there any other group on this planet that would aggressively fight so hard to force someone that clearly doesn’t belong to stay there?
Could you imagine a sports team with a player that hates the team and deliberately try’s to make them lose forced to stay under threat of prison? How about a church with a fedora level atheist that has to go every week or he will get arrested and he constantly tells everyone they’re stupid? Imagine you’re in a meeting at work and someone keeps saying they don’t believe in the company and are only there because they would go to prison. Would anyone who isn’t insane see the benefit of something like this?
I could imagine this might happen in countries with conscription but I would imagine that even they probably only take it so far. Here in Canada, the military allows people that don’t belong to quit. I’ve told people here about the US military no quitting policy and they think it’s insane.
Ironically, 17 year old me joined being very loyal. It took being treated horribly and outcasted to change that.
The military and vets are not looked on very highly in colleges. I know a lot of schools have organizations for vets but I’m a CG vet with almost no combat experience I worked in construction and never held a gun. Could I still go back and be a normal student and not be treated like shit or excluded
Unlike a lot of people I really don’t regret what I did but I really hated going through it. I was one of those I want to serve my country type people and I will say I am still proud of what I did and won’t forget it. But holy hell military life sucks. Unlike a lot of people my family was really supportive and good at trying to visit me and stay in contact with me, especially since I am in a very desirable location, but they are also ready for me to finish up. Military life is what I fucking hate. Having to have your phone on 247, getting called back into work because something so minuscule was done wrong, actually getting screamed at, people who don’t give a shit, boot lickers and goodie too shoes, alcoholism, suburban southern good ole boys. I feel like I wasted away my late teens and early 20s. I was really exited to go back and us my GI bill to go and make up for lost time but i don’t even want to go to a full time school, since I’ll be way different then the kids fresh out of hs,
I have posted here before but I now have info and am looking for clarification. I joined the guard and got a waiver for asthma but have been having issues and they re diagnosed me and gave me another inhaler. I brought this up to rsp Sgt and he said that I don’t have asthma and can’t leave unless I refuse to ship. He also said I’ll need to pay over a hundred thousand dollars back to the guard. I’ve only been to one drill and I don’t get how it’s possible. He also said that I will be screwed for life if I refuse to ship and won’t be able to get the future job I want. I have no interest in the military anymore and want to get out, I don’t want to go awol. But I need advice
After countless delays and unexpected hurdles I walked into IPAC an hour and a half before they opened, me and my friend were the first people there. When the first worker arrived they said I needed some signature on one of the countless forms so we rushed back, I found the corpsman on duty to scribble some signature and we got back to IPAC still the first people there. Another hour later I signed my DD214, I didn’t even know it was what I was signing but when the worker told me that was it I felt a sense of genuine happiness and freedom. I felt like the weight of the world had lifted off my shoulders and I could breathe without worrying about an immediate deadline or unexpected text in the work GC. This sounds terrible to admit but at one point I was someone who had drank the koolaide, and the feeling I had walking out of IPAC felt like it did when I at the hotel waiting to go to MEPS for the last time, the feeling of adventure and excitement that only comes from monumentous occasions.
I know life on this side of the gate isn’t all sunshine and rainbows but I can say that here my success is determined by my work ethic, my life is governed by my desire, my freedom can only be questioned if I break the law (the real law not the UCMJ) and therefore it is governable by me. I’m well aware that life isn’t fair and the real world can suck but nonetheless I’m overjoyed to accept the challenges that come with this new lease on life.
The reason I made this post is because I’ve been on this subreddit for a while, my story is on here somewhere but the tldr is about 4-5 months in I knew it wasn’t for me, had my chance to get out by refusing the covid shot but chickened out after believing the threats, I finally got out after 4 years. I wanted to say thank you to everyone on here, thank you to all those that listened to me pour my heart out, that listened to me complain, that listened to my rants, but most of all thank you for being here and thank you to the creator of this subreddit for creating a community for those of us ostracized from the supposed brotherhood and sisterhood of the military.
In closing I wanted to share a couple valuable lessons that helped me get through my time. The first being, value and self worth cannot come from the opinions of others, you need to find something within your own moral character to be proud of and while those around you pelt you with criticism you can look inside yourself and know your worth. In my case I sucked at running distance, I would constantly fall out until one day I realized that I wasn’t a bad person, I voluntarily help others no matter what previous grievances we’ve had, why should I allow their opinions of me be reflected in how I view myself. I was physically abused, I was waterboarded, and yes I was still extremely depressed and I hated every minute of being there but that internal gauge of self worth was one of the few things that kept me going. The other valuable lesson is that you need to act for yourself, if you’re even reading this the military is probably not for you so if you are on the fence about getting out or speaking up about something that might get you kicked out, weigh your options in terms of long term benefit to you. The military doesn’t care about you, the people in the military don’t care. If you’re worried your family will see you differently then so what, it’s your life and you’re the one that has to endure it. Make the right choice for you not for someone else’s opinion of you or what someone else in your position should do.
For those you still in, good luck and feel free to reach out to me. I’m here for anyone and everyone, if you need someone to vent to I’m
For those of you already out, thank you for the good advice along the way.
PS if anyone is working in finance I’m gonna be starting school in the relatively near future I know it’s a long shot but if you’re in the position and it’s not a hinderance I’ll soon be in need of internship experience and would greatly appreciate any advice or opportunities you have to offer.
Good evening people, it’s been 10 months since I backed out of my enlistment with the Army NG. I’m still on the books in my state and still haven’t received my discharge yet. Overall the more I’ve thought of it, it definitely was the best decision for me to make at the time. So for anyone who is really not sure about going please don’t. I had my toss and turns these last 10 months to see if it was the best decision which it was. I have no regrets anymore. I’m now in the process of advancing my career which I wouldn’t have been able to do if I went through.
Long story short I’m getting a chapter 13. BC and legal reviewed and approved the chapter. What happens next? CO pulled me aside to sign it today. I obviously chose not to appeal. Active army btw.
Army national guard, 31B
I don't know what I was thinking joining. I guess the college benefits just seemed too appetizing to not sign my life away. I haven't done basic, only done one drill, and I ship out tomorrow to fort Jackson for the arms 2.0 program because I'm 4% over my BMI limit due to a wide waist.
I know I'm not meant to be a soldier, I never will be. I stated that and was promptly threatened with the constable being sent after me if I don't arrive for my ship date. I know I sound like a pussy but I'm scared. Horrified actually.
I really don't think I should've even got past Meps, and I wish I didn't. Then I could've had more time to really think about what I was doing.
I know there's no way out now so I guess I needed an outlet to share my thoughts. Sorry.
Ok so, I'm 2 and a half years in out of a 6 year contract, in the national guard. I was split op in highschool so I'm a year into my "adulthood"/ a year with my current unit. I really want to get out.
I've always had bad mental health but was never able to get the help I needed or anything diagnosed. I grew up in a bad/abusive household, which no doubt contributed, but on top of that they never wanted to get me the help I needed, because that would mean there was a problem. Despite my attempts to ask for help to my parents, and even attempts to go to in school guidance and explain my situation, they weren't able to do anything without parental permission so that was swept away. I feel like it's led to an inner feeling of struggling to talk about my feelings, minimizing my problems, or altogether dismissing they exist.
Same thing with health issues, although I was scared into not saying anything at the doctors. Fast forward to now turns out I have asthma, and most likely have my whole life. I have to take inhaled medicine daily and I have an extra inhaler for emergencies. I sort of gaslighted myself into thinking my lungs were fine until a couple months ago and finally got a PFT, and got the news.
I know I shouldn't have joined in the first place, basic explanation but not an excuse, I went in with the mindset going through something so rough would somehow fix my mental issues and make me stronger as a person. If anything I think younger me saw it as an option out of desperation to stop feeling the way I do. And I wanted desperately to do something to make my family proud. Now I'm stuck in.
Recently I went through SRP for an upcoming deployment and I decided to be honest about my mental and physical health. I filled out the online pha honestly that way there was no way I could backtrack, because I knew I might struggle when it came down to it.
I was marked as non deployable and I'm on a temporary profile for my asthma while my treatment is figured out (3 month wait period) I was told to seek therapy but I'm not sure how concerned they are because nothing's really been communicated to me since then.
I have started therapy, diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety disorder so far. I'm on an antidepressant, but mostly for insomnia. (amitriptyline 50mg) Hasn't really done much for how I feel depression wise. I have the option for more medication but I really don't wanna just treat everything with pills and call it a day. The insomnia was just desperation because I got to a point I was barely sleeping at all. But at this point part of me wants to go with more pills if it means getting me separated.
Since this is a throwaway and I don't have much to lose, I have reason to believe I could also have a personality disorder. BPD. I'm not diagnosed and I'm scared to even bring up my suspicion because my dumbass is scared that the therapist is gonna shut me down or refuse help because I know there's a stigma.
And I know how it sounds, and I know how easily the disorder gets thrown around. But I don't think I am healthy to myself or others. And no research I have done has perfectly described my mind like it does. And I fit all the diagnostic criteria.
But even if it's true it could take a long time to ever get diagnosed with something like a personality disorder.
I know it's something that would get me separated but I don't know if I can sustain waiting that long even to start the process of separation.
I don't think I'm suicidal but when my emotions are big I really easily impulsively do things that could harm me to that point. But nothing as far as getting hospitalized. The biggest recent thing would be I took about 10 exedrin thinking it might do something but It didn't do anything but make me feel sick for a day.
I don't know if I fit the criteria for separation or how to even go about this all. I don't even know my current situation with the guard. After SRP and getting marked non deployable they asked me to sign a bunch of ROIs for everywhere I'm being seen, and I haven't heard anything since. I've never voiced my desire to be separated.
Everything has been with administration at the nearby base that handled the SRP. I haven't even heard anything from my unit. I don't even think they know about my mental health. I had assumed everything would be communicated to them but they were about to have me do an ACFT despite my profile last drill so I guess that was not the case. Even then all they wanted was my profile and since I don't have one for my mental state, I didn't know if I should even disclose that part of it.
I think my unit knows there's something mentally wrong, but they've never addressed it with me. I'm a complete shut in at drills, never talk to anyone unless I have to, when I do I'm super awkward and I can tell but can't stop. I isolate from everyone else as much as I possibly can.
I dread going to drills, i feel intense anxiety leading up to them, and when I'm there I just feel depressed and numb and wanna go home.
Insanely long story short, I want out, and feel like I need out, but I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, and I'm so terrified of it all. I don't know if this is a cry for help or just a rant but here it is lol.
Prior service here who made the mistake twice thinking reserves would be better. Thinking of just not showing up for drills until they separate me. Wanting to know how this has gone for others? Keep in mind I believe I fall under the entry level separation as I have no gear and have not gone to ait yet and have no uniforms. What are my options here to get out. Already have a good civ job and the reserves need me I don’t need it.