Jerry dates Caitlin, who is an animator, but finds her too weird.

ELAINE: Weird? What do you mean weird?

JERRY: Let's just say, this is the first girlfriend I've ever had who's more compatible with Kramer than she is with me!

ELAINE: Examples...?

JERRY: She makes me sit through all of these old Max Fleischer cartoons, I can't stand it! They're so scary, and the animation makes me want me to vomit! Literally!

ELAINE: So you've never voluntarily watched a Max Fleischer cartoon in your life before her?

JERRY: I like the old Superman ones, you know, where he's fighting the giant laser magnet?

GEORGE: Yeah, this one's a classic.

Jerry then tries to dump Caitlin on Kramer, hoping that they'd get along better. At first, this works, but Jerry is still freaked out from hearing the sounds of the old cartoons from Kramer's apartment. Later though, Kramer also breaks up with her for being too normal for him.

ELAINE: Jerry! You can't just pass a girl between your friends like that! That's so sexist!

JERRY: Elaine, have you ever met a female animator? They're very sexually free.

GEORGE: Hey, wait a second, wait a second! If she's too weird for you and too normal for Kramer, maybe I could have her!

JERRY: I asked.

GEORGE: And?

JERRY: She said, and this is her exact quote, that "No offence, but George seems like a real loser".

GEORGE: Why? Why can't I shake off this "loser" image? Who is she to call me a loser? What does she do?

JERRY: She's an animator! She works on those short Pixar movies! Do you have any idea how strenuous and time-consuming that is? You've never worked that much in your life!

GEORGE: So I actually have a job, but I seem like a loser to her, yet she went out with Kramer, who does nothing?!

KRAMER: Hey, I work. I worked harder in that relationship than I've ever worked in Kramerica Industries!

GEORGE: You did nothing in Kramerica Industries! That's not even a real company!

KRAMER: Well, yeah, but the way Caitlin made me work in bed... Oh mama!

GEORGE: And you broke up with her?! I spend my entire day trying to meet women like her, and I can't even meet them in my fantasies!

KRAMER: Have you ever tried one of those AI girlfriends? They're pretty wild.

GEORGE: I did, and they don't want me either!

Elaine is inspired by Caitlin and tries to be accepted into an animation studio, but when she submits her pig cartoon as the only thing in her portfolio, she gets laughed at and doesn't get the job.

Elaine is terrified that her co-workers will find out she voted for Trump. She goes on a huge rant in the office about how progressive she is and about how she definitely would never vote for Trump.

Jerry: “I don’t think that’s how Witness Protection works. I don’t think they spend all this money on moving you to a whole new city, and building you a brand new identity, and then they call you Mister Crime Guy. Or Bob Mob-Hitman!”

Uncle Leo reveals that when Cousin Jeffrey finds dead animals in the park he has them taxidermied and keeps them in his apartment. “He studies them, Jerry! He gives them names and talks in their voices for hours!”

Jerry to Elaine: “I feel like I should be in Witness Protection whenever I talk to Uncle Leo about Cousin Jeffrey.”

Elaine: “Yes, and they could call you Jerry Weird Relatives Who I Wish I Never Heard About.”

George, looking up from the sports pages: “You know, I’ve never heard Newman use his first name. Does anyone know what it is?”

Jerry, pointing at Kramer: “That’s nothing to go by - we didn’t know this nitwit’s first name for the best part of a decade!”

The mystery of Newman deepens; and Puddy is interested.

J: But you don't even speak Spanish!

K: It's not about the language Jerry! It's about the connections I make with the children. Like Gandhi once said "I truly believe that we have so much more in common than what separates us."

J: That was Kamala Harris! Ok I've had enough of this (closes door on Kramer as he stumbles out briefcase in hand wearing a mismatched suit).

Jerry dates Selena Gomez, but he’s disappointed when she acts more like Mabel Mora and less like Alex Russo. Jerry has a very specific fantasy about how Selena Gomez should be exactly like her character from Wizards Of Waverly Place and doesn’t let go. Kramer agrees to join Elaine on a night of poetry slam, but when Kramer gets onstage to read his poem which sounds like a complete joke he becomes an overnight viral success, upstaging Elaine and making her jealous. George in turn is jealous when his new girlfriend Alexis is more affectionate towards her dog than towards him. (“We still haven’t had sex, but the dog gets to sleep with her in bed! Ho ho!”)

George takes a taxi in the rain to get to a museum. It’s a rainy day and he’s already paying a lot on the taxi. When he reaches the museum, he’s told that they don’t accept cash. When he tells them what happened, the museum staff agree to accept the cash, but won’t give George his change, and George gets into a cheapness rage. (“You’re taking a donation from me that I didn’t approve?! I’m the one who decides whether you get a donation!”) Jerry breaks up with his girlfriend Joey for always playing with her tongue in her mouth (“It’s like a snake in the mud!”) Elaine constantly cancels on Arab Uber drivers because she’s scared, but eventually gets caught. Kramer starts taking medicinal oil baths, but one day he accidentally buys the forte formula and his skin gets too oily. (“Jerry, I feel like a water slide!”)

George is told to spend the holiday with Frank and Estelle. He sees a police car driving by with lights and sirens and decides he will stay home, take his phone off the hook, and call them the next day collect from a pay phone and say he was arrested. He brainstorms with the gang about the "best" crime to be arrested for. Elaine says throwing blood on fur coats. Kramer says assassinating Lennon. Jerry suggests unpaid parking tickets and blame the mail.

Jerry has multiple phone conversations trying to cancel his cable. They won't do it without a "valid reason". "I just don't want it anymore". "But your deal with the phone company includes free cable" "I don't want the cable. I just want my phone line" "you can't do that"

Eventually Jerry decides he will just cancel it all and switch provider. He pulls a Costanza and claims he is going to prison to get out of it...they ask to see the warrant.

Elaine spends Thanksgiving with Puddy's family. They play touch football outside. Puddy and his brother smack talk and Elaine says it right back but then trash talks everyone she lines up against...

Jerry and Kramer get an invite from a kind portly German couple, Hans and Gretel. They always bring food and treats as gifts so they feel obligated and excited to have an extravagant meal with them.

In the apartment - neighbors keep insisting they eat more and more and make odd comments about gaining more weight "to stay warm for ze winter". Their front door has multiple deadbolts and windows are painted shut "because ze city is so much more dangerous zen Germany", they have an industrial sized oven "because ve make zo much streudel", many different sized jackets in the closet "our many guests are always forgetting zere coats". All these little flags that on their own have plausible explanations but together frighten Kramer (Kramer has also been reading the original Grimm's fairy tales of course). Eventually Jerry starts siding with Kramer and they plot an escape

Kramer - gets salsa labeled "hot" does a Kramer freak out. Goes to Jackie, they make a case about "hot" meaning reasonably hot.

Jackie (tasting salsa): "This is piquant...pungent...picante!"

Kramer (clicks/pops/whirrs): "MUY picante"

Torn between either: George wants to be let go because the severance package is great but HR wants him to stay. OR George continues to show up but has no duties anymore but gets a paycheck.

Elaine's boyfriend is like Fabio with long luxurious silky shiny hair. She loves to play with it.. when she asks what he does he is oddly secretive about his routine saying he doesn't want it to get out. He even locks his bathroom cabinet and brings a locked overnight bag when he stays over. She goes to great lengths to try and figure it out.

Jerry's paid to endorse Power Buzz, a new energy drink. They get on his case for drinking water during his routine and being seen drinking coffee at Monk's. He tries the drink and is buzzed.

It ends up where Kramer as usual doesn't get a payout but the company agrees to change its recipe and remove a specific hot pepper from it.

It turns out that pepper and the juicy part of the salsa was crucial to Elaines BFs hair routine. He freaks out when he hears the news. The light bulb goes off and Elaine hoards the last jars of salsa before they're recalled out of spite. Without it he gets dry and frizzy.

It ends with Elaine with great hair dumping him.

Kramer: Yeah, slams bill on receptionist desk I’m not paying this.

Receptionist: Why? Is there a credit problem? We can set up with monthly installments if that’s the case.

Kramer: Nah, it’s the doctor. Not good at his job.

Receptionist: But you came here.

Kramer: Yes.

Receptionist: And he performed his medical duty.

Kramer: Yeah, but not well. Have you seen the Google Reviews of this place? 3 stars. I’m not the only one who thinks this is a sloppy operation here.

• Jerry runs into Bania at a club, Jerry sarcastically tells Bania he bets he won't get a single laugh. Bania takes this literally, and hounds Jerry all week for a prize.

• George sees a rare vintage bike he always wanted as a kid in a store. After he buys it, he learns that he actually forgot how to ride a bike, and needs his dad to re-teach him.

• Elaine, researching cultural clothing for the catalog, comes across old depictions of a green hat from China. Only after publication does she learn that "wearing a green hat" in China means being a cuckold.

• Kramer starts a business on the side with Newman. The noise from the apartment is angering his neighbors. It's revealed at the end that his new business is manufacturing bootleg vintage bicycles, and cutting costs by lowering the quality of the parts.

Jerry realizes he can give Bania the green hat as a prize. Bania wears it with pride as he cuts through Chinatown. Everyone laughs at him, and as he stands in the street, confused, George comes down a hill on his bike, with his handlebars and brakes snapped off. George's shout fades into the bassline as the episode blacks out on a freeze frame of him about to crash into Bania.

While George browses for clothes, he befriends the sales representatives in the store. Once he settles on a wardrobe, he forges the company letterhead and sends fake emails to the employees, ordering them to discount his items by 50 percent the following morning.

Elaine starts dating a cop and gets paranoid about breaking the law whenever she's with Puddy, for fear of getting caught. Puddy says, "no way man, that's bogus" when Elaine tells him that he has to follow the speed limit. 

Jerry is dating a motivational speaker and he swears that she whispers to herself between bites whenever they are dining out. George offers to double date, so that he can sit directly beside her to investigate. 

Newman gets hired as a food critic and schedules his restaurant visits to coincide with his lunch breaks on his mail route. The influx of high carb meals midday causes him to start napping immediately after. 

Poppie opens a new restaurant and Jerry's girlfriend suggests they go. Kramer hears about Jerry and George's double date plans and invites himself along. He says this will give them a chance to meet his new girlfriend. Jerry then feels obligated to invite Elaine. Her cop boyfriend is working so she decides to invite Puddy.

Kramer and his girlfriend are the last ones to arrive at the restaurant. "Sorry we're late, we must have been stuck behind some old lady driving 5 below the speed limit. And they took that last parking spot " George thinks he recognizes her from somewhere. When Kramer introduces her he says, "She works at Nordstrom. Yeah, I met her there while shopping for socks." 

George begins to panic when he realizes that the pants he's wearing are from Nordstrom. He's convinced that if he stands up she will recognize them, and it will jog her memory. Poppie comes to the table to welcome everyone. George is the only one that doesn't stand up to shake hands, and Poppie takes offence. Jerry whispers to George, "what have you done?" Jerry's girlfriend asks, "what." Jerry responds, "nothing."

After lunch is served, Jerry watches as everyone else eats. Kramer hears whispering coming from Jerry's girlfriend. He does a double take and stares at her. Kramer's girlfriend gets jealous and clears her throat. Puddy, who had been watching the fish tank, turns his head and asks, "what?" Kramer's date says, "nothing."

A lady comes running into Poppie's shouting, "call the paramedics, there's a mailman out front in his truck. He's unresponsive. I think he's dead!" Everyone gets up from the table to rush outside. George remains seated, even after his date pleads with him to come and assist. Elaine is shouting at Puddy to hurry so they can leave before the Police arrive. Puddy got double parked by an uber eats driver. Elaine's cop boyfriend shows up and kisses her on the cheek. Puddy tells Elaine to find another ride home. The cop gives her a ride after Newman finally wakes up from his nap. He tells her to sit in the back of the cruiser because he no longer trusts her. 

While George is sitting alone finishing his lunch, Poppie brings him a bill for three hundred and twenty dollars. He whispers to himself, "huh" as he realizes that it's the same amount that he saved on his wardrobes. 

On the way home, Jerry's girlfriend tells him that she talks to herself while eating to calm her nerves, because it helps with digestion. Jerry responds, "oh, I hadn't noticed."

Elaine keeps laughing him off and Puddy makes fun of him but George is persistent

Estelle doesn’t approve of George taking a vacation off of work.

ESTELLE: What do you need a vacation for?! What, are you going out of the country?!

GEORGE: No, just for myself.

ESTELLE: For yourself?! You don’t do anything!

GEORGE: Mum, would you relax?!

ESTELLE: You’re not going to have any days off left!

GEORGE: I am going to have days off left! I checked!

ESTELLE: So what are you going to do on this “vacation”?! Just sleep until two pm?!

GEORGE: This is how I decompress!

Jerry dates Bebe Rexha, but finds it awkward that her name is Bebe, because it reminds him of Bibi Netanyahu.

ELAINE: So? That’s just her stage name. You can call her by her real name.

JERRY: Elaine, her real name is Bleta! I’ve never dated a Bleta! Bleta isn’t someone you date, Bleta is your grandmother’s annoying friend who interrupts your nursing home visits! It’s just not a sexy name!

ELAINE: Isn’t that a little racist?

JERRY: I don’t think we should be talking about this.

Elaine refuses to be on coffee duty at Peterman’s (“Just because I’m a woman, doesn’t automatically make me responsible for coffee!”) This in turn inspires Kramer to start his own coffee klatch.

JERRY: Kramer, do you even know what a coffee klatch is?

KRAMER: Well, it’s like a coffee shop!

JERRY: No.

KRAMER: Oh... I got you, buddy. So it’s like a “special” coffee shop, like the ones in Amsterdam?

JERRY: No, that’s not what it means either.

KRAMER: So it’s like that rod you pull in your car to stop it, right?

JERRY: Kramer, if you don’t know what a coffee klatch is, then how do you expect to start one?

KRAMER: Well I heard about it in an R.E.M. song and I thought it was cool!

ELAINE: You thought it was cool without even knowing what it means?

KRAMER: That Michael Stipe can be very convincing!

Much to Elaine’s disgust, George becomes a celebrity in NYC’s underground poetry movement due to a 20 minute rant someone secretly recorded of him entitled “The Society We Are Living Within!”. Jerry dates a woman who plays air saxophone in an all-female air guitar band. He jokes about becoming an “air roadie” for them, leading to her dumping him before going on a twelve-state tour. On the way to one of George’s readings, entitled “Do they know about shrinkage?!”, Kramer is attacked by Buzz Aldrin. Puddy is interested.

Kramer wins a one year membership to Lifetime Fitness and is making decent progress on his lap times in the pool.

Jerry texts Elaine a joke about Mexicans as she's getting in the elevator at work. While she's smirking, she doesn't notice a special needs man asking her to hold the elevator. Word travels fast and the buildings diversity, equity and inclusion committee threatens to terminate Peterman's lease. Peterman tells Elaine that she'll be taking a group of special needs children from the Manhattan Children's Center on a field trip to smooth things over.

George's girlfriend get's tickets to the Price is right live, and he gets selected as a participant. Due to his sixth sense of cheapness, he wins both showcases and gets accused of cheating. A search for phones or electronic watches proves he's clean. They apologize and say, "we've never seen anyone with such astute observations of prices." George smirks in response to the admiration.

George stops by Jerry's with some random prizes to gloat. Kramer and Newman arrive shortly after. Newman rummages through George's prizes and asks for the skipping rope. Newman smirks after George replies, "sure, but what the hell are you gonna do with it?"

A few days later, Kramer is swimming laps when Elaine shows up with a group of children. Everyone agrees to vacate the pool to accommodate them, except for Kramer. "I won this membership fair and square! Plus, I'm meeting Newman at noon for tea, so I have to finish my laps now." About 10 minutes later, a lifeguard orders everyone out of the pool when a very large piece of fecal matter is spotted. Due to its size, Kramer is immediately blamed. Kramer protests as he is told to go change and wait for the Police. It turns out that a Mexican boy named Mateo suffered from Irritable Bowl Syndrome along with fecal incontinence, which can produce larger than normal bowel movements. Little Mateo smirks at Kramer as he's walking to the changeroom. 

Kramer calls George from the precinct, but he is already on a flight to the Bahamas courtesy of The Price is Right. He calls Newman, but there's no answer because he's busy pranking Jerry. Newman locked Jerry in his apartment by stretching out a skipping rope and tying one end to his doorhandle and the other end to Kramer's. Kramer gets a hold of Jerry and he agrees to meet him at the precinct. After a moment of confusion, Jerry looks through his peephole to see the skipping rope contraption. He clenches his fist and shouts, "Newman!"

Peterman is given 2 weeks to vacate the building after word spreads that Elaine arranged for her friend Kramer to relieve himself in a pool full of special needs children.

A few weeks later, George, Jerry, Kramer and Elaine are at Monk's Cafe. George says, "oh, by the way I also won two memberships to Lifetime Fitness if anyone is interested?" Kramer continues sucking his strawberry milkshake through a straw, Elaine continues doodling on a napkin, Jerry smirks. 

Kramer - says he'll keep all his inventory "up here" (gestures to temple) while filling his and Jerry's apartments with unlabeled boxes. Newman loudly proclaims USPS survived so long due to its incredible dedication to proper labeling

George - a woman in his office asks him where Freddy is because she needs a file cabinet moved. George offers to do it and she snorts. He starts trying to demonstrate his strength in front of the office

Elaine -- meets a guy who claims to be a smoker. As a cigar afficionado she takes him to a cigar lounge Peterman introduced her to. Her date pulls out a vape and embarrasses her

Jerry- he gets a funko pop and it gets very popular, but it depicts him making a stupid face. He sues - not for larger profit shares but to get it removed or renamed after someone else.

Kramer was elected President but impeached and booted - but never barred from running again. He runs and is re-elected when his competitor runs off with Jerry. George tries to get VP but instead of appointed Deputy Undersecretary of the Interior. Elaine goes on Fox News and unloads on every stupid idea Kramer has had, which ultimately become the 28th thru 60th Amendments to the Constitution.

Jerry’s parking dispute with his new neighbor, Mr. Feng, spirals when rumors spread that Jerry is racist. In an effort to prove she doesn't "need" glasses, Elaine (with George as a passenger) accidentally dings Mr. Feng's car. Mr. Feng witnesses this and sees Elaine squinting and accuses them of a racist attack. He reports them to the police, and Elaine considers agreeing to the accusation just so she doesn't need to have glasses listed as mandatory on her license.

Meanwhile, George starts dating Melanie, a “mummy’s girl” whose mother constantly meddles in their relationship. Melanie’s mom even calls George’s mother, Estelle, setting off a turf war between the two moms. Frustrated, George fakes a back injury to avoid the escalating motherly drama. But when he’s caught in the accident with Elaine, his “fake” injury turns real. To make matters worse, Kramer offers George one of his homemade “chiropractic adjustments,” only to leave him in even more pain.