/r/SeinfeldQuotes

Photograph via snooOG

The best show in the world.

Sub Rules

  • Text-only quotes must contain author.
  • Any picture submitted must contain a quote.

Related Subreddits

/r/SeinfeldQuotes

2,822 Subscribers

59

One of my favorite Seinfeld quotes is when Frank Costanza finds out George is dead from Mr. Steinbrenner. "What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for?!? He had 30 home runs, over 100 RBIs last year, he's got a rocket for an arm, you don't know what the hell you're doin'!!

12 Comments
2020/04/23
22:54 UTC

49

He lives in a society caw caw

1 Comment
2020/04/02
21:02 UTC

20

Is anyone here a marine biologist?!!

7 Comments
2020/01/11
19:38 UTC

26

Oh no, you need to eat 24 hours before surgery.. you need your strength!

3 Comments
2020/01/10
02:31 UTC

14

All right, that’s not bad, now get over here!

1 Comment
2019/12/22
01:10 UTC

31

Here’s to feeling good all the time

2 Comments
2019/12/21
02:46 UTC

31

Would you like to come upstairs for some coffee? No thank you, I can’t have coffee late at night, it keeps me up.

3 Comments
2019/12/06
03:33 UTC

10

Levels!

0 Comments
2019/12/06
03:25 UTC

3

One chart comin’ up.

It’s Bennett right?

0 Comments
2019/11/03
18:35 UTC

68

Kramer being Kramer

3 Comments
2019/10/26
09:59 UTC

58

Can you believe it

2 Comments
2019/10/20
22:14 UTC

35

George: "Why do they make the condom packets so hard to open?" Jerry: "Probably to give the woman a chance to change her mind."

0 Comments
2019/09/18
13:11 UTC

5

Tub is love

0 Comments
2019/09/18
12:19 UTC

6

I’m gunna lose that nail!

4 Comments
2019/09/18
02:27 UTC

37

Sometimes a good nap is the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning - George

0 Comments
2019/09/16
00:53 UTC

20

“Jerry! You got to see the babay!!”

The Hamptons; the final episode of season 4!!

4 Comments
2019/09/13
20:35 UTC

10

Which episode of Seinfeld does George say to Jerry "You have the same first name...'Jerry'!"

Please help, this is driving me crazy. I want to watch the episode but I don't remember which it is. Unfortunately, I don't remember anything else about the episode aside from the fact Jerry was nervous about what to talk about with someone who incidentally was called Jerry as well.

2 Comments
2019/09/06
18:22 UTC

10

Well, well, well. If it isn't, Crash Bandicoot.

0 Comments
2019/07/25
00:52 UTC

0

Piss shit and cum

1 Comment
2019/07/07
07:09 UTC

5

Nothing

BOOOOOO different shirt! BOOOOOOO

2 Comments
2019/07/07
07:09 UTC

29

“Well, I saw that it’s raining outside, so I called in sick. I don’t work in the rain.” -Newman

2 Comments
2019/06/27
08:18 UTC

19

What Seinfeld quote would you use to describe modern Day America?

I really wouldn’t have a clue 😂

18 Comments
2019/05/30
13:09 UTC

5

What episode would you use to describe this week from any Seinfeld

Mine would be the Jimmy episode.

3 Comments
2019/04/24
15:02 UTC

7

I seem to remember a Jerry Seinfeld standup bit (maybe from the show, maybe from a special) that was strikingly similar to a John Mulaney joke. Can someone help me out?

It was from when email was first getting really popular, and Jerry was talking about how whenever you try to check your email you have to convince a robot that you're you (and not a robot). The line I specifically remember is "I'm a robot?? You're a robot!!" It's very similar to John Mulaney's bit about reCaptcha being like a troll under a bridge, but not exactly the same joke. Can someone confirm that this Seinfeld bit actually exists? I've scoured the internet for it and am starting to think I just dreamed it or am going crazy.

0 Comments
2019/04/19
21:59 UTC

36

Mmmm machu picchu!

1 Comment
2019/03/09
04:11 UTC

4

Which episode is this from?

In reference to gay people: "you know, they are a gym-going people"

I'm pretty sure it's seinfeld, but could be curb. Idk but it's driving me crazy and I can't find it anywhere.

Anyone know the episode?

6 Comments
2019/03/05
18:47 UTC

17

Yup

0 Comments
2018/07/17
01:23 UTC

Back To Top