For many years i always wondered about consiousness of others and the inability to experience other other being perspective. It led me towards solipsistic thoughts that i ignored for being silly, uncertain and egoic. But this wonder brought me to actualized.org video about it. And my silly ass decided to watch it even with many warnings from creator. Autors perspective on topic convinced me into believing I am only concious being that's fooling itself into having human experience. This caused me full on exsistential dread and derealization. I know it's just a believe without my experience i cannot validate that, but i can't shake it off my head and it's making me miserable. I was already into spiritual philosophy but this one just crushed me, it's too much for me. I thought I can handle that but I can't. This believe is very unhealthy for me and i want to shake off my head. Anyway this helped me realize my cockiness and i will humble myself. I still have years of growth ahead of me before i will be able to go into this kind off stuff. Now i have trouble interacting with anyone as i just think I am talking to delusion of my mind. I don't want to be like that.

I will gladly hear your experiences with this and how you dealt with it as well as advice and support.

To give some key knowledge, I am just a 15 year old, I've never done any psychedelic nor normal drugs or alcohol but I like to listen to trip reports and Research psychedelic stuff. I'm allergic to a certain type of medicine called "iburamin" here in my country. Every single time I accidentally or somehow take it, it's always a terrifying experience(always had similar to one I'm about to tell, ALWAYS since I was a child). I had these kind of "bad trips" as a small child hence how I've found out that I'm allergic to it. But I don't remember them exactly. Recently I've got sick like normal fever and stuff and went to doctor myself(first mistake) and then forgot to tell the doctor that I had allergies to some medicine (big mistake) and got 2 days off school(yay). Then I took the medicine, I took 2 tablets 400mg (2 times the doctor told me to) everything was aight until 20 minutes later I started to get "evil" sensations and Overall bad vibes and extreme anxiety. I thought it was because I was sick and didn't think much of it. But after 10 minutes my vision became "blurry" and wavy, almost ethereal. Then those bad vibes became so much worse, I had a feeling that Something bad is about to happen and it is BAD. After 5 minutes my hands, specifically the middle of my palm was looking weird, and It had EXTREMELY bad "energy" or vibe coming out of it. My visuals became worse as I started to see patterns, fractals and I guess 4D shapes beyond human reckoning that hurt the top of my head everytime I saw them. After another 5 minutes the never ending torment started. Anything too flat, mirrorry black and rectangular absolutely terrified me, felt like something titanic bad and calamitous. When I looked at my phone it started, the edges, it started to look HUGE. I felt like I was about to, no. EVERYTHING was about to get deleted in a apocalyptic way, an entity whom I've never heard of it's voice and shape was directing it incomprehensible. It existed and didn't exist at the same time but I could feel it's presence and absence at the same time too. The it peaked. It lasted for 4 hours but felt like exactly 9 days to me, I can't explain it. To sum it up during the peak of it I felt like something in my hand, which I do not have any control of, and 4d shape was going to destroy the universe and the very existence and I was 100% sure of it. Believed it Like a non believer witnessing Jesus himself come and tell him to repent. At that point I gave up and started to screaming at the top of my lungs looking at my palms, crying and screaming and running. I could not stand it. The thought flooded my mind, nothing will survive, nothing will remain. And I was the reason of it. I was never truly terrified up until that point. That was REAL fear. No normal person could ever feel that kind of fear, not a soldier from WW2 or a man seeing his people and family die one by one from a great famine. I was so terrified, I've experienced this before but now that I'm grown enough I can remember it better even though 60 percent of the trip is lost as it has that kind of effect to but at least not 95% like when I was a kid. To explain my vision in Detail everythings color became soulleand wavy, horrifying patterns everywhere , when I focused on a flat long surface my eyes zoomed in and I was in a infinite dessert, infinite singularity. And when I looked at my palm I came back to where I was. my hand my biggest fear, I ran around house screaming trying to normalize my hands hitting the walls and my head and looking at them in horror. then I just gave up and threw myself to the floor. Looking at my hand with a terrified face, bludgeon. I started seeing shapes change and become huge, like seeing the rings of Saturn from it's moons. Horrifying. I heard my own voice but not my voice. It's mine and not mine at the same time. It's like having 2 separate thoughts at the same time. After couple of hours it ended but I was never this terrified in my life. The voice are still here but not in a double thought pattern just like schizoid. I barely hear them anymore. I feel like nothing. Beast.

Oh my days. I’m actually speechless.

It took a couple hours for the APE shrooms to set in and then there were vivid auditory hallucinations. I remember sitting in my bathroom and hearing (what sounded like) a radio with two people. The voices were incredibly muffled so I couldn’t hear what they were saying.

I go out of my bathroom to hear the music my father is playing. But the sound is right at my door and has a… moaning sound??? It was the lady moaning from p power by gunna. But I know this isn’t what my dad was listening to. He likes old northern soul songs so he definately wouldn’t be playing this song

I remember the patterns on my bathroom floor. I was on a call with my friend trying to describe it. The best example I can think of is the videos on YouTube of sand reacting to vibrations. These patterns were all across my bathroom floor.

I go out and sit on my garden porch to hear people talking over my garden walls. It was near midnight so I know no one was speaking.

I remember my sense of touch. When I would touch something wet it was felt like sand across my hand. And everytime I would touch a part of myself with my left hand the sand clay-like feel would spread.

The colours were very bold and were pulsating. Now onto the peak of this experience.

At this point I’m over with it. I feel like every fiber of my body is dying. I shut all of the lights off and try as hard as I can to fall asleep. I kept on having these thought loops where I would think that I’m dying. I’d get up and start panicking. I’d curl in a fetal position on my bed and pray.

One thing in this experience remained the same. Everything looked like AI generated images. Still on my come down, I was looking at my TikTok and everything looked… off. Like everything looked right but something was off just like in ai generated images.

I remember reaching into my mouth and it felt like my hand was sinking into my gums. It was like some cruel gore body horror. Really disturbing.

I vividly remember constantly doing the same thing over and over on my bed. Crying. I was saying that I just want things to be the same as it always was. I was crying at me thinking that my best friend was leaving me in the dirt.

The terrifying things were subtle. It’s like someone was fucking with me. I was on a call and my friends eyes started rolling back. He was glitching. I asked if he was there but I heard nothing in response. It was incredibly eerie and actually downright terrifying.

I remember writing down in my notes that I think this is going to be a humbling experience. It definately was. The experience chewed me up and spit me out. The visions of my crying in my bed are terribly poignant and serves as a reminder that this substance shouldn’t be messed with unless your at a majorly happy moment in your life. I realised in this experience that I need to appreciate life more. I need to stop being so cranked up. I have life amazing. My angry and tiresome way of looking at my schedule has been turned around to appreciation.

Edit: now that I’m recollecting the experience, I’d like to add a couple more things. Throughout the experience, I had a barrage of thoughts. I felt like my mind had been split in two. On one side my mind was going crazy. I feel like I full on peaked over the side of madness. I was thinking about how fragile reality really is. I would try to balance my thoughts and go down the path where I wouldn’t be engulfed by this madness. But it was so difficult. It felt like I was fighting the experience.

I wanted to feel normal again. I ran downstairs and did the most normal human thing I could think of. Eating. I grabbed a cereal bar and although I cheered and swallowed it was still in my mouth. Didn’t matter how much I swallowed. It was still there. Best I could describe it as if an AI created reality. The visuals were weird as hell and out of place. My senses were off. All of the movements felt melded together and didn’t make much sense like ai. Eating felt crazy strange.

I remember my friend asked me if I believed in god now. I started going on a monologue describing that god was the warmth in a hug. The feeling of a kiss. Love basically. And that really resonated with me. I don’t know if he was even asking me the question or if I was hallucinating the entire thing. That’s what makes it strange. I remember I was laughing a lot at the start. Then at the peak the laughter turned to crying. I wanted this gory glitched out reality to end.

Last edit: I have more to say! I keep forgetting details. I remember hearing vibrations and then hearing monkey type cackles. It was like I was hearing a densely populated jungle. I heard water stream, hisses, cackles etc…

Thank god it’s over!

I’ll go first and say Avey Tare from Animal Collective. His music is almost a psychedelic of its own 😵‍💫

The Truth of the Universe, Life, and Death is so simple and very vulnerable, still immune to any Human touch. So you have to understand that every thought produced or will be produced by humans or man-made mind was always, still, and will remain out of the boundaries of the TRUTH. Just giving up, is the only sane act of finding the real truth

By this I mean what happens to us, from our perspective, why do you think it is called a trip? How are trips similar to other things? (also from the perspective of a trip in a quiet environment, not an intense environment)

My personal experiences and opinion are a trip is an experience where you get closer to a "true self" like when we were children. During that time, we are experiencing a "cosmic energy" that connects us all with the universe and our surroundings. A barrier between the conscious and subconscious dwindles and our "monkey mind" is going ape shit while we remember things we see images of our memories in the minds mental image. This breakdown of consciousness and visuals give us hallucinations and "trip stories" (I turned into a supermarket once)

I think we can become more aware of our thought during this state and are able to perceive our emotions deeper because our receptors getting overloaded, and it causes us to have difficulty perceiving time. Therefore, feeling emotions for longer and with more intensity.

This trip to ourselves is made by the thoughts and beliefs that govern our lives. God is a concept made within our head from our external influences and propped up by our imagination, and we can feel the thought of God and how we are all connected through this "cosmic energy". This "cosmic energy" also feeds from the power our thoughts. This Energy is passed down by language and genetics of behaviors. The concept of an afterlife gives a feeling of security in the sense that during an intense "breakthrough" trip somebody can find solace and comfort in knowing they have a higher power to cling to. I think this "cosmic energy" of our consciousness can be felt during meditation and prayer.

This higher power can be made from a collective of thoughts in a society, for example this election we are going through; Some people feel a connection to republican and democratic parties through a theology of their values that they wish to align with. Giving them a connection to that party. This is translatable to sports teams, and other collectively conscious events amongst humans.

However, this is Still a consciousness that makes up the entire universe, even if only perceived by your head. It is a culmination of everything you know and have learned as a person that makes up a person. A soul is a term made by humans to make up our every fiber of existence. Heaven and hell are also both thoughts made in our head to help ourselves navigate the world. kindness to a fellow man makes you feel nice through empathy. A thought developed and nurtured through societal beliefs.

I am you and you are me. I would love to hear the different perspectives and opinions on what a trip is.

A few years ago I had a nightmare trip…

It was my second time taking acid the first time I toke 100ugs had a great time went the Waffle House the usual

A few months later me and some friends thought it’d be great to up the dose to 300ugs and take some edibles…

God damn did I underestimate the dose on that one

I’m pretty well versed in pychs at the time I’d had a 900mg Dxm trip and a 5.5g mushroom trip both were crazy so I wanted to see how far lsd could go…

After dose it hit wayyy harder and faster than I thought it didn’t help that I had taken three 10mg eddies either…

I got into one of those thought loops and ate and entire bag of edibles before I knew what was going on… 400mg of thc

I don’t remember the trip but my friends toke videos I terrorized them I lost my Chick-fil-A we ordered and screamed for help for hours and wandered into a gas station and stole a bunch of slushies….

I “re-gained” consciousness a few hours later.. during the come down I have a few fuzzy memories of the peak but I came to in our pool at my apartment complex… me and my friend who had both wayyyy over done it looked at each other and said dude wtf was that…

I remember him vaguely trying to get me to marry him for legal reasons but I was wayyy to freaked out…

Anyways that night was the worst drug experience I’d ever had… I’ve od’ed during my oxy and coke addiction Several times nothing compared to this come down

I sat in my room in the dark unable to conceive how to even turn my phone on I literally felt like this what it must be like to have autism…

I scratched my legs till then bleed just trying to keep my brain stimulated and I literally felt that it was over for my brain…

Has anyone else developed autism like this? Litterly the worst feeling I’ve ever felt… please say some one can relate to the agony of lsd and weed induced autism

Since then I’ve tripped a bunch had some great experiences never had those same feeling on the come down but having autism ruined the comedowns for ever I never enjoy them I always feel the fear of autism creeping back inside of my head lol…

Any advice for the future?

I'm hoping I didn't fuck my nervous system up because I smoked yesterday but my hands still feel like someone elses hands. The effects dont usually last this long and these particular effects are new. I dont even feel confident to drive safely rn. I have brain fog like a mfkr.

what can i do to clear my head quick.

also doing research i just found this gem. hope im not getting a stroke. feels like one tho. im only 38

A stroke neurologist explains the link between smoking marijuana and stroke and heart disease

In the beginning of the year I did truffels for the first time, to be save I decided to start with the weakest one first (15g). The trip was okay nothing special, a couple weeks later I went for my second trip (15g) this time with one a bit stronger, again nothing special, it was rather disappointing. Today I took pink paradise (15g) which was nice, with my eyes closed I had a lot of visuals, clear mind and some laughter for no apparent reason.

Now I'm wondering how much stronger are the other once? When I look at the chart of the grower I see that the pink paradise had a rating of 5 planets and the other once are only one higher with 6 planets. Based on stories of other people it sounds like the strongest once like high Hawaiians are a lot stronger. Is the chart just really inaccurate or is the difference not that big?

Hey guys, tried some Shipwreck shrooms (6g) with some weed edibles. After a while I started tripping quite hard and I saw the outline of a spirit in the slightest shape of some kind of a bird. It slowly glides over the room towards me, I didn't panic, I felt calm, but I also acted as though I hadn't really seen it. Then there were lights around the rooms eminating from it as it swirled around me. I felt the heat in the back of my neck. I had a VR headset, the Valve Index, and it was that type of screen warmth on my back. I then started to speak out about myself saying that I was a good person, that I'm strong and I want to help the world. Whenever I closed my eyes I felt as though I saw a world withinside myself. Then the entity began to settle within me, I feel it becoming me, I feel as if there are two of me. Me and the other person who has just entered, I can feel it within my skin. But I feel calm and relaxed, nothing bad was happening, I told it that we can work together and become the best version of me. I then felt everything shake, my vision became that of a VR Headset, wobbling around, and as I looked up I see myself adjusting my own headset, I feel like I'm being shaken around in one world, the world I know and that I'm staring into the real world with me adjusting the headset. After a couple of seconds it adjusts and the world becomes too bright to see anything and now im back. After a few minutes I started feeling as though I'm wasting my life, the house wasn't clean, I'd not done the dishes in a couple of days, I needed a total overhaul, to prioritise my time better, I'm not winning enough in the game of life, the possibilities are endless but you can't sit around waiting for them to happen. I proceeded to clean my flat and be the best version of me. Was this a total illusion, did I see the real world, is this a computer simulated world that's been created, did I see human consciousness come within me, my own?

I did a 5g penis envy shroom trip yesterday. I felt fine yesterday but today I can’t eat anything without immediately sh!tting it out. Major diarrhea and stomach pain. Anyone else experience this?

Has anyone else felt they have gotten maybe a glimpse of what the experience of actual death may be from psychedelics? And I don't mean just having a panic attack or bad trip or egodeath or something. I mean time is a construct and you're born and you die virtually at the same time in the grand scheme of things. In the same sense of preministic dreams, does anyone feel they have experienced a taste of afterlife on a trip? If so what was your experience like and what led you to believe it was that?

You get confused after using a lot of mushrooms, like forgetting some things and sometimes it seems like despair comes out of nowhere, has anyone here ever been like this?

I air dried my caps in the open and stored them in an airtight container with silica packs.

They seemed to have held up fine but there are some small maggots on them.

I'm planning on taking them tonight but now I'm unsure.

Can I take them still or could I make them into a tea and if so what's the best process?

Thanks for the help, very upsetting to see my hours hunting and drying to b ruined

The answer is probably a bit of both, but I'm truly seeking outside perspective in what to do next.

tl;dr at the bottom

Since I was young, I have been an anxious and sensitive person. I only remember being depressed briefly (like seriously only a week or so) around the age of 12 and quickly worked through it with support.

I was at my healthiest in my early-mid twenties when I was working a challenging job full-time, worked out, stayed social daily, volunteered, etc. This is when I met x. We clicked and I thought he was perfect for me, and after 1.5 years dating we moved across the country together for his job.
After living together for less than a year, I started having panic attacks and depression that would keep me in bed all weekend. I've never wrestled with that previously. I'll save you a lot of details now that years have passed - he was an alcoholic which was lonely and isolating for me, on top of being psychologically abusive including emotionally, financially, intellectually, and sexually. So, it makes perfect sense why I started falling apart, although I didn't understand it for years.

After a couple years of this and getting worse, I was so sick that I was missing most of the work week. So dizzy I couldn't stand, sick to my stomach, migraine pain off the charts, etc. I quit my career and focused on self-care. After a year of that and still being incredibly depressed and anxious, I decided to go deep with mushrooms after only dabbling a few times.

My Set and Setting: asking why I'm so anxious and depressed, while in my home with my x.

Good goddess, did the mushrooms answer more than I wanted to know.

It was like a loud, bright ball of sunshine and lightning barreling towards me. Filled with horrors and delights unknown. I remember asking, "should I look at it??" I think I did as much as I could. In hindsight I wonder if this was a visualization of my anxiety?
I decided to journal for the first time in years. My entry looks like someone on drugs with varying sizes of handwriting and going something like "Here's the secret to life. Nothing matters and everything matters" haha. But then I went on to write, "I keep writing this down, and it keeps disappearing....."
It was in this moment that my handwriting trails off and absolute hell begins.

I suddenly felt the blood drain from my hands and feel, and a numb cold take over my whole body. I was "awake again" and could see "what was real." (I have never been here before, but it was incredibly familiar to me). I looked over at x, his eyes were nearly black. "I'm getting faster at remembering." I said to him. Obviously he did not know what I was talking about. But in this moment for me, all that existed was this room, him and me, and everything around us was just a set design to fool me into believing what he wanted me to believe ( I know, but stay with me for a moment).
I was chained to him in a spiritual way where he controlled everything around us to make me believe I was happy. And now that veil was lifted and I could see he was a demon leeching on the soul of my x, controlling everything around me and laughing at my naivety. His black eyes were looking at me with a smirk. "Why are you doing this to me?" I asked. "because I like you" he responded. His black eyes dancing. He delighted in my horror as I realized I was trapped. This was his favorite part. For me to see a sliver of the truth, but he was the director and had the power and control to submerge me again. I couldn't remember if my family was real, if my childhood was real, if my friends were real - it felt like they were fake memories implanted in me to contribute to this cycle of not knowing what was real or not.
I was in hell. Living the same day over, and over. Reliving the horror of realizing my savior was my tormentor, that my "heaven" was actually my personal hell. Every day seeing the delight in his dead eyes when I would realize the truth. The delight of his power over me and relishing in my pain.

Eventually he drank so much that night he passed out and I could be alone.
This is when things started to shift and I saw a staticky, golden veil with three faces slightly pushing through. They were rooting for me and I have never felt such unconditional love. They told me to keep going. There was more. I have more power than I know. Trust the process and keep loving. This was the message I was sent with:
am i LOVING?
am I loving?
AM i loving?

This started a year long process of trying to understand what I experienced: I saw a shaman, I journeyed, I became very spiritual and embraced my femininity and created + enforced boundaries around my self-care. And it was by having boundaries that it became clear x could not be in my life anymore. He shoud be in jail for what he did, but ironically because we were married, I had less legal rights than if we weren't.
We divorced and he made my life hell during that too, but I was on cloud 9 with my new-found power that after I cried, I would laugh because he couldn't actually control me anymore. Bliss.

I embraced manifestation, and trusting my intuition. It has been up and it has been down, but I trusted it was all working towards the greater good. I saw the chaos, the patterns, and figured i live somewhere in between.
But after 4 years: I have mostly lost my spirituality after following my intuition and synchronicities into dead-ends. I've been in different types of therapy for 7 years, psychiatrist, substance use counselling.
I believed it was all part of the path and continued, but statistically I have significantly more failures than wins: I had a beautiful 2 year relationship that suddenly ended overnight (he was a diagnosed high-functioning sociopath that rearranged the furniture in my head overnight.....what can I say, I have a type) my savings is gone, I'm still missing most of the work week due to depression and migraines, I can't keep up socially so my friends eventually drop off the map, I no longer see magic in the world, I will not date as I'm not stable enough, and I'm too scared to end this life, also I cosmically believe that I'll just have to redo this one or a harder one if I do.

The only logical place for me to move is closer to family. But I've been avoiding it for years because this is where a lot of my original trauma came that led me to the decisions I made. Conservative religious trauma that told me I was "less than" because I am a woman, and that I was only created to serve man. I believe different now, but to be surrounded by that again when I'm already depressed sounds like a death sentence. I feel like I've been between a rock and a hard place for so many years. I thought these trials didn't last that long so it's hard for me to not believe that "I'm the problem."

I don't want encouraging words alone, as I need something firmer to grasp onto. I'd like to hear your own similar experiences. Or what you see that I'm missing (yes, I know there's something about "reality" and reality for me, lol HELP). Should I do another round of mushrooms since it's been 5 years? I'm worried that I experienced was mostly psychosis.

tl;dr
I grew up religiously conservative, ended up in an abusive marriage, drank strong mushroom tea, saw my x as a demon and that I was living in his reality and I didn't have to stay there, divorced and became spiritual, keep hitting dead ends financially, phsycially, emotionally, romantically, and no longer feel spiritual. Should I took another round of mushrooms or was that just psychosis I experienced?!

So my friend and I are doing our annual trip tonight and we’re getting 200ug gel tabs. I know LSD is notorious for being under-dosed, so my question is, if each of us took 2, would I be able to expect a 300ug experience? We’re pretty experienced and I don’t want to be underwhelmed given the circumstances, but I also don’t want to on the floor in another world the whole trip. 2 tabs each or 2 1/2?

I love the deep conversations and experiences shared here and would like to talk to people more about them.

I see people asking about this in previous posts, but all link invites have been deleted or expired. Someone willing to invited me to one, or should I make one for others?

I wanna take a tab or a piece of it today, but my friend doesn‘t like the bodyload and wants to do coke today 😄 I‘ve never combined both - is the combination even worth it? Or should I rather decide for one if these substances only today? (Most likely there will be alcohol, weed and ketamine at some time of the evening as well. Probably in both scenarios)

If you wanted the effects of the moderate dose on the chart, how would you choose your dose. that extends from 2-3.5 grams and yes we are all different and it effects us all differently but anyone have any real comparison of 2 vs 3 or 3.5?

Why were these substances provided by nature?
What is the ultimate purpose of natural psychedelic drugs such as magic mushrooms, ayahuasca, and other natural psychedelic drugs ?

I have tried a makro dose psilocybin for the first time, and I would love to hear any thoughts or reflections on my experience. Like, does this sound like a light or heavy trip for instance? Or just any other reflections. I don't know anyone IRL who have tried shrooms.

Generally it was great - I am relieved that there was no horror movie-feeling, and surprised at the lack of magic. There was plenty og strange stuff going on, but no feeling of magic (I have tried mdma, and that is always full of magic and wonder and entities for me).

I was at a sitters house, and around 10:30 a.m. I took two capsules with syrian rue, and around 11:00 a.m. I drank a lemon tek with 2.5 grams of Golden Teacher. I really struggled to enter the trip, so around 11:45, I took another 1.5 grams of Golden Teacher, lemon tek.

At 3:20 p.m., I texted my partner and asked them to pick me up – it was definitely hard to use the phone, ha! I just wanted to go home. My partner came around 5:00 p.m., by then, colors were still more vivid than usual. We left around 5:30 p.m., and by that time, I was mostly back to normal.

It was troublesome, uncomfortable, and frustrating to enter the trip. Not physically uncomfortable at all, but I was SO grumpy. I was annoyed, bored, and feeling. I didn’t feel like lying down, but also didn’t want to sit and talk. I was irritated by my visuals – they were just “standard visuals that one could have Googled! Nothing original!!” and the answer came immediately: If you want something more original, create it – you are in your own brain, on a mushroom trip; if it’s boring here, there’s only ONE person to blame.

After this, I slid into the trip. The music guided me quite well; some songs were insisting with drums, others flowing and spacey, some silly and happy, etc. A couple of times, I snapped at my sitter, “F*CK, this music is annoying, can’t you find something more relaxing?”. This is very out of caracter for me, as I usually am very polite and careful in my communication with others.

I touched on several themes:

My parents. There was a lot of “what a mess, that wasn’t okay,” but nope, I don’t actually want to spend more time on that now. That was back then, this is now. I’m an adult now, and I can take care of myself.

My love for my partner – very, very powerful and clear. A gift, a chest of love and light, opening and shining up from the chest. Warmth, peace, happiness, and love. An insistent message, again and again: “Accept your partners love. It’s a big gift for both of you. It’s not enough that you love them; you have to let them love you too. Enjoy it, lean into it.”

Community – especially with my close friends. That humans are part of something, we are connected, we are not alone. It doesn’t make sense to try to be alone; we are one, and only with others can we truly be human.

Also a deep sense that I am ok the way I am, I do not need to become something else. That my quest for quietness inside or to become a more calm person etc does not make any sense. I am high energy, talkative, lots of thinking going on, at this is as it should be. Do not try to beome someone else.

My “boredom.” It returned again and again, lovingly but firmly showing me that only one person can change it, can fill my life with meaning. But also that there is a gift in the boredom if I dare to sit with it. What IS it? Right in the center of it, what is it? And there, delicate and fine and quiet, was a little flame. My desire and passion and joy – not something I have to FIND,outside of myself. A flame that’s already there and expresses itself in many things if I just give myself space and time. To be in the moment and experience my life. And not race on to the happiness I think awaits just around the corner.

Again and again came the message that everything is here now, I am exactly where I’m supposed to be, everything is good. Very clearly, something said – God, us, me, the universe? – “You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.” I felt a great sense of peace. Everything is good and as it should be. It doesn’t mean it’s easy or will be easy, but it is as it’s meant to be.

I dissolved, wasn’t there anymore, just pulsed in sync with the universe. This is indescribable, probably because “I” wasn’t there to experience it. There was no one to experience it. There was also a feeling of chaos, maybe that this can’t be experienced with a human brain, but it wasn’t unpleasant, just… flowing, rhythmic, vast, universal. Green. Right.

Lots of visuals generally, but they didn’t really captivate me much. They were just a backdrop for my thoughts and reflections and feelings.

When the boredom hit, it was deeper than anything I’ve felt before, and “it” said to me: You can just open your eyes, sit up, and be entertained (the room was decorated with things that were super fun to look at, paintings, dreamcatchers, feathers). But I’d rather feel and experience my inner self. It wasn’t a choice where one had more value than the other. More just: If your life is boring, it’s totally OK to go out and seek superficial fun and nonsense; there’s nothing wrong with that.

Several times, I felt a deep longing for my own life – my own living room, partner, dogs, my own space. My own playlist. Fury that others were setting the direction, choosing the playlist, etc. And simultaneously gratitude for being able to receive the help I need from others, but going forward, not letting them dictate how things should be done.

A handing over of my life to me. I am an adult. Again and again, from different angles.

I could ask the mushrooms if there was something I didn’t understand or was bored by, “Can you try showing me in a different way?”

In the end, I’d had enough, and just wanted out of it and back to myself, to my life. Which was super nice, as I’ve been frustrated and felt trapped in my life. But it turns out I’m not trapped in my life at all, but have been trapped inside myself, in my own head.

I've been fascinated with psychedelics for so long... watching YouTube and reading Reddit comments about mind-bending trips is one of my favorite past times. I've got a little first-hand experience with shrooms myself, but I love reading about trips the large doses of DMT, Salvia, and those other heavy hitters.

I'm envisioning something over Google Hangouts, pretty low-key stuff... anybody down?

How come every time I use, I always think about death and mutiversal travel? It’s been like every trip for months.

I feel claustrophobic here. It's so grey in comparison to where I was lol. It's like going from living in a beautiful tropical resort to returning to the slums. I wanna go back 😫

I gassed myself with a gas bottle (I don't know what gas is in it but it's really high) in the evening, I had a lot of illusions and hallucinations, I could see through walls, I heard voices and a black entity looking at me in the corner of my room, it looked at me for a long time and got bigger and bigger, then a hand came and stuck a post-it on my glasses with something like "be careful, you're venturing into a dangerous place" written on it, I put my glasses down and everything stopped, an entity trying to warn me, or my own conscience? I don't know if anyone has ever experienced something like that? I'm very affected by this trip.

🇫🇷 : je me suis gazé avec une bouteille de gaz (je ne sais pas quelle gaz dedans mais ça défonce bien) dans la soirée, j’avais beaucoup d’illusions et d’hallucination, je voyais à travers les murs, j’entendais des voix et une entité noir me regarder dans le coin de ma chambre, elle m’a regardé longtemps et devenais de plus en plus grande, puis une main et arrivé et a coller un post it sur mes lunettes avec écrit un truc du style « attention tu t’aventures dans un endroit dangereux » j’ai posé mais lunettes et tout c’est arrêter, une entité à essayer de me prévenir, ou ma propre conscience ? je ne sais pas si quelqu’un a déjà vécu quelque chose comme ça ? Je suis très marqué par ce trip.

I'm a noob tripper (off psychedelics but have been on weed for years) and I'm also on some antidepressants and an antipsychotic, and I have to do 4-5 gram of mushrooms to get a nice effect out of it. I've tried acid but it didn't have any effect, unfortunately. I was curious about if anyone's had their experience blunted by meds and if they got off those meds, how did the trips change? I don't think I'm getting most of the things you read about with hallucinogens, even though the trips are quite awesome. Not seeing vivid hallucinations, not really any vivid geometric patterns, no synesthesia. I feel left out but know I'll just have to be patient and wait it out for my time on the meds to be finished so I might be experiencing more of a kick

If so, do you commonly meet people who take psychedelics? Are philosophy students more liberal when it comes to drug use?

If I surrender to the experience when tripping I alsmot always get into an unexplainable experience where I feel the utter meaninglessness of ALL. It is for some reason deeply eerie and I'm really frightned of going too deep into the condition because it feels one can lose one's mind. I can easily distract myself from this by thinking about something else but if I really try not to think about anything I get into this dark and scary hell again and again.

I wonder if anybody had similar experiences and what are your thoughts?

Smoking a fat going 6:30am just after leaving my 12hour shift listening to some Bob Marley and Matisyahu is just peak soul inner peace mindfulness mind-blowing extra poggers I'm high as fuck like I haven't in a while

backstory fast I've done shrooms up to 6 grams 1000ug of acid twice once on .4 molly over 12 hours also lots of 4-ho-met and aco met and dmt few times up to 50mg sorry for rant was wondering is it too much to mix 2 grams shrooms 1-2 tabs acid 100ug each and 180mg dxm really wanna have a wild trip do you think this is okay and wont be too much lmk