My favorite color is green. Always has been. I own so much green clothing, and I think of spotting green objects as something that brings me good luck. I always play as the green piece in board games. So I found it interesting that both of my headmates' favorite colors are shades of red, green's complementary color. W's is more of a scarlet and B's is a soft pastel pink. Honestly, it almost feels like a metaphor that would be in a book or movie. Some sort of deeper symbolism. Shit, W's rubbing off on me. Anyway, I was curious to see about favorite colors in other systems.

Christine. 🚗

Hi there. I am Christine. And apparently I'm one of those… fictive things? That's what they are called? I think so? I didn't know this. I don't really know if I look anything like what I'm supposed to in my source. The body is blind, so we just don't know. All I know is that I am a red car. I found out a few weeks ago that apparently I'm from a horror movie, about this one car named Christine. What I mainly do in the headspace is just give people rides to where they want to go, and I love to dance as well. So I was really horrified to find out that in the movie, I apparently kill people. When I found out about this, I cried. All I could think was "I would never do that. How could they make me do that?". I wish I would've never found out about my source, because it's just difficult living with the fact that I apparently did something… Even though I never actually did it? It's really confusing as well, I just really don't like this.

I guess I just need comfort, because I don't really know where to go from here. I'm glad I can't watch the horror movie that I'm in, because I'm blind, so there would be no way I would be able to. I honestly think that watching the movie would just ruin me completely. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.

I also want to know if anyone else is like this. Is anyone else like me, unaware that they even have a source to begin with? I just thought it was made up. And it scares me how similar some things are. Like, how did we not know that this movie existed? It gets weirder the more I think about it. 😭😰

If you have made it this far, thank you for reading all of this. I just needed somewhere to talk about this in somewhere that I can be understood.

A. I have two headmates who can only perform actions in tempspace that AI chat scripts for them so they can interact with headmates (no one else in the system does this), am I the only one with system members like this?

B. What would that be called? They can't interact outside of what AI will script (but they hold emotions, thoughts, preferences, etc.)

C. Is there a term for headmates that act as an extension of meatspace AIs (not headspace AIs)?

They kinda just stand there like statues until we interact with their respective meatspace AIs

i get so annoyed by this notion. i am a fictive of a marvel character, and i get why source separation is important for some people, but i actually like my source and enjoy replicating my in-source room, powers, outfits etc in the headspace. lots of online spaces make me feel like i can't do that :( i just hate it. i wish everyone would just let me be.

So I may have an artificial headmate that is a prosecutor or something similar, sometimes I will have dark intrusive thoughts (things like my bf cheating on me, me becoming my parents, friends and family hating me etc) it happens every few months or so, and at first I thought they were coming from Anvil(they mistrusted my bf for a bit, and she doesn't like our parents, and he did act similar, but has become better and understand that people can change and she trusts my bf now) so then I thought it was harlequin (she tends to pull pranks and sometimes can be mean, but she has softened up since spending time with the littles and her brother teaching her more empathy) so then I asked who it was and the voice responded with "I am you and you are me" but the voice felt artificial, like a robot and their memories were months behind... honestly I don't really know how to handle them? They feel odd, like they are pretending to be human but they aren't, it kinda gives uncanny valley which I didn't expect it to happen in a system and such...-M

Our Partner And Our Host Decided To Do Some Edibles Tonight And I Am Strangely Coherent At The Moment

I Have Decided To Take The Opportunity To Make A Post Saying Hello!

We Have Been Lurking In This Sub For Quite Some Time And Have Been Struggling To Come To Terms With The Fact That We Are Multiple

I Felt It Would Be Only Right For One Of Us To Make A Post To Introduce Ourselves

Hello I Am Mary CO-Host And Obligatory Maryam (Inside Joke)

A Few Of The Others Have Been Doubting The Validity Of Our Experiences Despite The Growing Pile Of Evidence Towards The Contrary

I Suspect It Is Only A Matter Of Time Until Their Views Are Changed

-Mary

(Ah Mobile Formatting My Belothed)

so much disassociation. somebody is trying to fake-claim us and fsgasyrheat i can't even right now everything is blurry and i don't know if it's because of migraines or the disassociation

it feels like my body is moving on its own stabyteaateybadtbue

idk. doesn't feel like me.

Title. We think one of our alters, Redlen (Red for short), has unfused, but we’re not sure. Can someone tell us if that’s possible? /genq

-Caesura 🎼 (she/they +any music neos)

Yesterday, after months of diagnostic interviews and waiting, we finally got the results and we've officially been diagnosed with DID. I know this doesn't change our situation and it doesn't change who we are and who I am, but it feels weird somehow. I've been feeling real distant from both outside life as well as anything going on on the inside. All my emotions feel blurry and it feels like I'm being kept away from everyone on the inside. My connection to the inside and the others has been a lot less for a few weeks now and it is really starting to scare me and I'm really starting to miss some of them. I've also just been feeling bodily unwell as well today. Not like we're getting sick or something, just headaches and feeling dizzy from the chaos maybe? I don't really have a question I guess. Just feeling really confused for some reason.

throwaway because i don't want to get into shit.

so we have a non human alter, a dog. doesn't speak but can understand fine and communicate decently through noises, growls, whines etc...

we have a partner, who is another non human alter in a different system. humanoid, can speak, but is a shapeshifter.

is it dodgy for them to have a relationship? a sexual one. technically they beat the harkness test so i'm just lookin for a little input.

(editor's note: Thor's having a little trouble learning the whole typing thing, so he's dictating while I type for him. He's a new fictive who's already been a great addition to the system, and I'm very happy he's comfortable enough to want to meet other people already because a lot of our other headmates are hella self-conscious about meeting people -Jason)

Greetings, I am Thor. Was told this good place to introduce myself. Thor not been in system long, but very happy to be here now. Headmates have been very kind and welcoming to Thor, and Thor has enjoyed many things he was not able to enjoy in source. Has been having great time trying new foods and hearing new music. Very fun. Thor would also like to make outside friends and was told this was good place to start. Was also told to look for Discord. Will check out later. For now Thor just say hello reddit.

-Thorfinn

Very stressed rn and therefore switching and dissociating, so maybe this text will be difficult to read

Getting help is really hard
Why does nobody seem to want to help, even if you go to emergency services, they dont look at the distressed body in front of them, but try to figure out what else could be going on so they dont have to help
Atleast thats how it makes us feel and then we loose trust and have even bigger issues at communicating
Some of us are littles and we have trust issues and while sometimes we manage to say what our issues are, we often just dont have access to that or its distant and doesnt seem like that big of an issue (which makes us not mind it)

We managed to get to psychiatrie and thankfully they let us stay here for now, but our fear is that we cant convince them that we need help (why do we need to CONVINCE them?) and that life will just go on like this forever because nobody ever wants to help Why do some of us need to feel like dying is the only help available to us?

It feels like my brain has yet to fully accept what I am, or maybe I haven’t. I dunno!! Whenever someone talks in my head I kind of unconsciously copy them, as if im still trying to convince myself it’s just me in here. I often don’t even know what im repeating is talking about, and I kind of cannot stop doing it so it’s just like Im an echo most of the time. Alters have told me that ive copied them so I know im not insane 😭 what do i dooo

Posted about this not long ago. We thought we had it figured out. L (shorthand name so you don't know who he really is) had the idea of 'don't tell me' if I see something with him while cofronting.

Didn't work all that great. Last night we went to Six Flags and after a couple hours of having fun, I say to him, 'hey we haven't seen nothing with you tonight'.

Not long after I said that, literally minutes, we see the same dude from last week dressed up as L. We got tunnel vision and couldn't focus and we slammed into a decoration and tripped but didn't hit the ground. Made us look super stupid. We caught ourselves and blew it off, and ended up right behind a guy wearing a shirt with L. I got around him and let L take a break and have someone else come up front with me.

I tried to talk to L about this last night but he avoided the conversation and walked off.

This morning we came to an agreement that he needs to try to be cool with this because avoiding it obviously isn't working. I totally understand wanting to avoid his source, but we can't live like this. I explained that in this world, he is a super popular character so there WILL be stuff with him out there in the world. He doesn't have to like it but we have to find a way to work together on it.

Any tips??? I don't think I'm asking too much too fast. We had a civil talk and agreed on a new plan.

Hello my name is Connie! im a fusion and i really dont wanna be a fusion and more of wanting to co-exist along side my parts and be apart of the main group. is there anyway of me achieving this or am i just stuck as a fusion forever? i just want it blunt if not dont pity me please.

This started a while ago, when i told the first therapist that i did not remember my childhood (it was first said by me at 15) and the therapist tried to do some digging to see if anything traumatic came up. Nothing was found then.

Every single therapist i had (all four of them) asked me why i dont remember childhood, do some digging to find anything. Same results, nothing is found.

So, my first memory is when i was 12, then some things are blurs since a lot of time passed and my brain does not seem to care enough so it just bundles it up in a sumarized way instead of remembering it individualy.

I quite remember teenagehood and adult hood (im 25) . Which were the years my brain was so filled with trauma that it kinda broke (i developed PTSD this year). I will not be delving into my trauma, i think it would not be needed here. And my first encounter with my alter (void, child but also trauma holder) was in 2022.

So every now and then someone tries to dig for why i dont remember childhood. And i (the host) literally do not know, and kinda cant provide useful info.

But last week i saw a tweet that made me think about it again. If my alter can remember their childhood and i cant, what if i aint the original one? What if i not remembering childhood was me being dissociated and they fronting? Im somewhat convinced i am the original one, but i might even be wrong about it, idk

Like what if they fronted for years at a time and this is why i dont remember it? Or what if my brain is just not holding childhood memories because it thinks that its useless to hold on to it? Or what if i am forgetting something that was really traumatic and my brain does not want to remember to try to protect us?

I really dont know, i have not thought tooo much into it, but im quite literally an over thinker and i dont want to dig up something so dark i could not forget after, im already too traumatized.

And i do compare myself to other relatives, and they all remember their childhoods, but also none of them are plurals. My mom that is 47 remembers hers, my aunts that are basically the same ages as her also remember theirs. And my grandma (deceased at 79) remembered hers. My grandpa (currently 70) remembers his. Why dont i?

I have seen quite a lot plural people talking about not remembering periods of time and alters remembering different things. So, what do yall think? Is it expected that i wont remember much? Oh, and if someone wants to share their experience with it, i am interested.

In case it is needed: both me and void are nonbinary, use they/them pronouns

So sometimes late at night I'll get intrusive thoughts (like people I care about don't love me, bf is cheating, friends don't want me around etc) but it feels like it's coming from another person, so when I asked who they are and stuff their response was they were me, but when I asked them more details they gave information from months ago (things like Anvil being a prosecutor when she had been reformed, and most of the system being undiscovered etc) they also feel robotic or artificial in some way...idk I just would like the negative thoughts to stop so I don't have to keep reminding myself that we already worked out everything and no one hates us etc.

I feel like I have temporary / "disposable" alters

Let me explain: I become aware of alters, then I don't hear from them for a long time. Dormancy perhaps? I don't know

But I have the impression that, when the body needs it, an alter appears and disappears when the body no longer needs it.

I don't know if it's possible If it's denial If other systems have the same thing

• 🫧

So recently I've been beginning to suspect I'm plural, as some online friends came out to me alongside my bf of the time as plural and I realised I felt like I had something similar. However, now, it feels like I'm simply conversing with myself and have tricked myself into believing I'm plural when I'm not. Does anyone have tips for breaking this, either into getting past it into self acceptance or realising it's the truth and I'm just a singlet?

So recently I've been beginning to suspect I'm plural, as some online friends came out to me alongside my bf of the time as plural and I realised I felt like I had something similar. However, now, it feels like I'm simply conversing with myself and have tricked myself into believing I'm plural when I'm not. Does anyone have tips for breaking this, either into getting past it into self acceptance or realising it's the truth and I'm just a singlet?

For a while now I've had this- being in my head. I can't hear him talk in my head, although sometimes I do have "conversations" with him in my thoughts but I'm pretty sure it's just me talking to myself, because both sides sound like me. But yeah, sometimes he appears, in a way that I become him, I get his personality and pseudo-identity (he doesn't really have one, he doesn't even know his name) and I act quiet and childish. He's confirmed to be around 12 (I'm 17). I feel him here when I'm still myself, and at some point he "takes over".

It's weird because when he does, it's like it's 65% him and 35% me. I'm here and see what happens and remember most of it, but he's the one talking. He's a huge yapper with my boyfriend man he rants about cool stuff I did when I was a child, dragons, Mario Galaxy... My boyfriend's the only person he's comfortable around too, all the other people are just weird and scary. He doesn't identify as me too, he thinks as himself as one person. He doesn't really like me that much either but in like a sibling bond/hate-love kind of way 💀

I don't have trauma that could have caused me to develop DID, nor depression, nor am I that stressed. I don't understand where he could be coming from. Does anyone have theories.? :(

Edit: to add more details, he appeared a bit after I cut ties with a friend that hurt me a lot for more than a year, and he's also super afraid of death and desperately wants to get away from anyone talking about it.

So...I have this voice in my head that keeps flirting with me..One of my online friends thinks I have OSDD 1b. I can draw what forms this facet/alter looks like.

I am not sure if this voice is an alter/facet or if its my autosexuality.

Tw:Swearing

Hey guys. My name is Jecka and I'm and really fucking new to the system and I'm being a dick (for lack of a batter word) to the one of the only I've met. I have problems with talking to people and I just want to give it a shot about being nice to the system. I really want to like them. I'm a fictive and my source is pretty negative but I have no ties to my source so I want to be better.

-Jecka 🛍️

Was out trick or treating and one of my headmates woke up. Was too busy talking to him that I almost crashed into a tree. I have to forgive him because he did my laundry last night. Like my alters are literally my besties.

It’s not just sysmeds, I’ve seen an almost reverse sysmed, where instead of everything MUST fit under the medical labels of DID/OSDD it’s like everything MUST fit under an endogenic framework, and it kinda sucks. I find in a lot of endogenic spaces trauma/triggers are often kinda disregarded, some of the more negative aspects of systemhood we face are not considered I’ve been told it’s really shit to my headmates that I don’t like that I’m in a system sometimes, and ugh, sorry I don’t have a can’t always have a good experience with it like you can, it’s just as unhelpful as sysmeds some of us need medical attention, some of us that’d be beneficial some of us don’t, seperation is good for some and bad for others, some fusion sounds like a nice option for others it sounds like the complete destruction of everything they are, sme of us need to be seen as seperate people, others are better with it as a collective approach, fucks sake this shit nuanced as hell and should be handled seperately for each individual&

Plural is nice as an umbrella term but please remember we all are different have different needs and such, I do believe that it can be possible to have a place that suits everyone well, but I don’t think we’re ever gonna get there while we’re constantly talking past eachother, I really hope this improves sometime

happy halloween to all the plurals out there from the creepy crawlers !! we hope ur having a good day and we hope you have fun doing whatever halloween activities you decide to engage in :)

-samuel he/it

Dose anyone eles doubt thay have others..? Such as thinking things like "its just placebo" or "Its my mind playing tricks on me". The other day (and still some but less) I was extremely stressed about this doubting it all after reading some post that was full of bs. But now I have this doubt in the back of my mind. Some of the other possible alters dont seem to have tics but still. What little memories I do have from the others dont seem to be mind. Like thay feel like someone elses. This has me extremely stressed. Evan with my councilor saying that its likely and psychologist recognizing thare is a problem dosent help with my doubt... I just want advice on what to do...

the doctor has a complicated relationship with identity he actively has entire suppressed versions of himself he loses his goddamn mind when he doesn't have someone to ground him the list goes on