/r/physicsjokes

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Title says it all! Go on and post 'em if you got 'em.

And remember, anything that doesn't matter has no mass!

/r/physicsjokes

23,527 Subscribers

80

How to fake being a nuclear physicist - for a murder mystery dinner?

I realise this might sound absolutely bizarre, but my only purpose is entertainment. I'm going to a pretty involved murder mystery dinner in about a month, and the character I'll be playing is a 1920's theoretical nuclear physicist. My current level of knowledge is absolutely zero, but I imagine there must be some phrases I could throw around to look the part. Nobody else in attendance has any advanced knowledge about nuclear physics, either.

Of course I realise I won't actually learn anything reasonable in such s short amount of time, I only want to /seem/ knowledgeable. I'm not expecting anyone to question me on this, but I'd love having some lines to say along the lines of "things only someone deeply involved would ever talk about".

Any help is appreciated - thanks in advance! ❤️

7 Comments
2025/01/09
10:06 UTC

28

What excites a perverted neutrino physicist?

A kinky τ particle track

2 Comments
2024/12/20
09:32 UTC

20

Einstein said his happiest thought was of a man falling of a building

I really wonder who that guy was and why Einstein hated him so much

5 Comments
2024/12/17
19:32 UTC

28

How can you tell that your physics professor is American?

They ask you to consider a spherical football

0 Comments
2024/12/13
03:45 UTC

2

from 1933-45 an immense amount of work was done in American politics. How you ask? Lets just say Fdr was integral.

lets just say Fdr was integral

3 Comments
2024/11/25
11:47 UTC

1,693

He should have known better....

4 Comments
2024/11/18
22:54 UTC

16

Brian Cox's location on X is "Absolute space doesn't exist" 😂

0 Comments
2024/11/10
23:32 UTC

107

More of a legit question: would this work

15 Comments
2024/11/04
15:45 UTC

6

when the supersymmetry theory turns out to actually be correct and now the electron has to be paired with the selectron:

0 Comments
2024/11/03
23:08 UTC

12

Still Gold: Einstein proved mathematics is inconsistent (joke)

1 Comment
2024/10/26
15:58 UTC

246

Haters will say “Ignore air resistance”

2 Comments
2024/10/17
04:56 UTC

11

and exits out the back.

A tachyon walks into a bar

0 Comments
2024/10/12
05:51 UTC

8

Tesla: Inventing the future since 1883, Genius, Geek, Bird lover, Mustache enthusiast

0 Comments
2024/10/10
20:16 UTC

16

Why did the photon refuse to check its luggage at the airport?

Because it was traveling light.

0 Comments
2024/10/10
19:19 UTC

173

The Nobel Prize Committee

4 Comments
2024/10/09
20:39 UTC

7

Please use Popcorn time

  • 1 Popcorn is 3 minutes and 56.555359704 seconds.
  • 1 Pop is 0.64766710884 seconds.
  • 1 day is 365.2422 Popcorns.
  • 1 Popcorn is 365.2422 Pops.
  • Posted: Year:2024 Day:273 Popcorn:221 Pops:157.3212
2 Comments
2024/09/29
22:29 UTC

13

Why does the EM stress tensor not have social media?

It is traceless.

1 Comment
2024/09/26
13:07 UTC

5

Why did the physicist go to prison?

He was caught for a CP-violation.

1 Comment
2024/09/11
14:38 UTC

15

When carpenters build a wooden house, do they use metric or imperial system?

Neither. They prefer plank units instead.

2 Comments
2024/09/01
20:38 UTC

9

What do you call a mentally unstable electromagnetic effect?

Am-bi-polar

1 Comment
2024/08/25
11:03 UTC

17

When is there almost 10 tons in a kilogram?

When they are new tons.

0 Comments
2024/08/17
23:17 UTC

8

All massive particles are blind.

They are unable to c.

0 Comments
2024/08/17
23:05 UTC

22

Google ai being funny

0 Comments
2024/07/25
18:01 UTC

21

Why are billionaires obsessed with longevity trying to go to space?

So they can travel to a black hole and, in time, dilater.

0 Comments
2024/07/19
06:42 UTC

22

Einstein creating his theory of general relativity

0 Comments
2024/07/14
18:24 UTC

5

YouTube physics videos- niche request

I have no idea where to post this. Does anyone know if there are any videos on YouTube about particle physics, but they must be narrated by a 1950's-style man in a suit speaking in an old-fashioned manner using phrases such as "our friend the electron", and sound for all intents and purposes like a real video from the 1950s, except actually made recently and incorporating modern particle physics knowledge, not outdated 1950's knowledge?

3 Comments
2024/07/12
05:47 UTC

7

She isn’t clingy, she just…

…has a large coupling constant…

1 Comment
2024/07/11
17:44 UTC

129

Sherlock

8 Comments
2024/07/06
13:56 UTC

4

Julian Schwinger Memorial Equation Campus Monument ;-)

1 Comment
2024/07/05
01:20 UTC

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