Testoviron and migraine PLS HELP!!!

I 31ftm just switched from tostran Gel to Testoviron injections. Due to low and unstable T levels.

I was on 4 Pumps on Tostrag gel for nearly 2 years.I have 3 differenr forms of migraine. With and without aura, silent migraines and vestibulare migraines. All of them got so so much better . My auras were almost non existant to a point where i didnt even remembered when the last time was i had one.

well since i am on Testoviron (just got my secong injection 250mg) they are back.

Im sitting here, just as yesterday evening with stromg symtoms. My limos are weak and shaky, tingely. My tongue feels tingely and numb. I have Alice in Wonderland syndrom on the right side of my head where i have migraine. I know all these symtomes way to well..

idk what to do.

i of course will contact my endocrynologist about it but idk what to do. i feel alone. and need someone to tell me their experience.

Is anyone herr who had the same? Who has migraine?

I barely function and its getting on my nerve.

just shy of three months on T here.

and damn. it is such a weird experience.

my voice has dropped significantly. i’m a baritone now. my voice was pretty low pre-T (it even passed for male over the phone ~60% of the time), so it’s unusually low for 2.5 months. very happy about that, of course.

but i have the voice of a 20 year old .. with the face of a 15 year old, since the voice drops before the face shape changes.

i feel my own age now because of my voice, but then i look at a picture of myself and i’m like WHAT THE HELL. i keep forgetting i look like that

I am 17 and currently medically transitioning, nearly 3 months on T maybe. Haven’t socially transitioned (eg havent told people to use my name or pronouns) but I am out to my mum, dad, and friend.

I went through menopause prior to starting testosterone. As such I experienced vag dryness, which was amazing. No discharge. I had hoped that would continue once I started T. Sadly it's back to the same it was before menopause. Has anyone tried anything that helps reduce that?

I thought about wearing a tampon, but ugh putting anything there, especially something that I can feel long term. (No longer than is recommended for wear.)

Experience or suggestions are welcome.

While it’s unlikely that Trump would be able to impose a federal ban on HRT (at least in the next 4 years), what are the chances the legal age could be raised to 21 or higher in some states? I’m trying to think ahead and go to a college in a blue state because I’m in Alabama atm and already have to wait until I’m 19 thanks to state laws. I don’t know what I’d do if I had to add another 2 years of waiting.

i've honestly been thinking of excluding myself from trans spaces as an entirety because like its been talked about before— masculine transmascs are often demonized or excluded from queer-friendly spaces and well yeah Ive been experiencing that because I am all masculine. Ive been particularly lucky and gifted throughout my transition as I was born masculine and grew up with masculine hobbies, interests, etc so I never really connected with girls around my age and instead spent a lot of time with boys because that's who I felt like I could be comfortable around. Anyways as I got older and realized I was also a guy I grew uncomfortable around cis guys especially since a lot of them in my community are either transphobic or chasers or just problematic so I either hang around women or other trans guys and I guess because i've never had much trouble during my transition I couldn't really connect with the online community but now im realizing I just feel like I don't belong around queer people in general.

My trans guy friends are great and all but they've been into men or are queer in other aspects or also like to indulge in femininity which is cool, but I'm not like that at all I'm a straight trans dude who pretty much passes for cis since birth also not all of them but I noticed a lot of trans guys are usually alt as well and ive been growing out of my alt style so now im just like damn I am not like these guys whatsoever 😭 I prefer to hang around similar people because of how uncomfortable I get around cis/hets and now im thinking at this point I have more in common with them than people in this community which is kinda sad to me. also im proud of my identity, it makes me happy to be a basic straight guy because all ive wanted is to just be like other guys and fit in but now that part of my identity is whats setting me apart from my trans brothers because when I express my masculinity ive been told "why would you hurt yourself like that" as if being a MASC trans guy is a bad thing...! like my brother. its in the name. and my gay trans friend i know he means no harm but hes been making "eww straight" jokes which I can understand the hate for cis/hets as I used to dislike them as well and they have been the ones to discriminate against the queer community as a whole, so I don't blame him for feeling that way but when you ARE het and (to the public eye) cispassing it's like damn, I don't feel that comfortable here anymore.

basically. I do not feel comfortable in trans/queer nor cis/het spaces or anywhere really because I guess guys like me are not common which makes me sad because I thought this would be the one place where I can belong and feel comfortable in my identity with.

Bruh I've heard from so many people that they prefer really masculine guys and therefore are only into cis men. Does that mean I'll just never be as masculine as a cis dude, just because I'm a trans? Because I lack the genitals? Because I'm short? Part of me knows this is bullshit, but I'm also insecure.

finally just admitted I'm just a regular guy and I love being just a man, don't know where else to say this just got euphoria from my realization

Just seeing if any other guys experience this. I upped my dosage of vyvanese for my adhd today and had a profound and unbelievably clear thought today that helped pushing aside so much dysphoria

I’ve been experiencing so much trouble approaching everything regarding my h*sto for the past few months. It began as a severe mental health crisis and at this point has subsided into a general dysphoric misery i experience when thinking about parts on/in my body and what it labels me as. It’s been an uphill battle reconnecting with my body because of that

And today I realized that I lived comfortably for the past 10 years thinking about dysphoric parts with big dotted lines.so I just started thinking about it like that again I don’t have a lbia , I have tissue that will form a scrotum, I don’t have a uerus I have a large infertile tumour. My body is a surgical site and that makes me happy 😆

So, been awhile since I've posted, but I'm 45m father of 16ftm.

He's asking me if there's anything he should try to get done in regards to transitioning before Jan 20th, just in case.

My own opinion is that things aren't going to change quite -that- fast if they do change(fairly sure Trump will make attacking transgender people a fairly low priority TBH, he has to pretend he's fixing the economy first), but he's still concerned so I'd like the groups opinion on this.

We don't live in a deep red state or any of that garbage at least so don't have to deal with any state restrictions for the most part.

Anyway, what things do ya'll think may possibly change, and what should be done before these changes come into play?

I recently got top surgery and I’ve read about a lot of guys not having bottom dysphoria after top surgery so I’ve been trying to see if I like vaginal penetration again after having sworn it off for years. And… nope, it still makes me insanely dysphoric and feels gross to me. But I’ve been having a harder time getting off in general with just using my dick and sometimes external toys like strokers and vibrators so I was wondering if anyone has any tips? I’ve been on t for nearly 3 years

One of the most funny scary side effects for me is that T might increase the hunger. If I'm alredy the sin of gluttony myself (even tho im thin) what would be my destiny when I get T?

I feel like the queer community will only acknowledge trans-male-specific problems when they can put it in the category of misogyny. I think it’s just another facet of the queer community’s demonization of masculinity, because I don’t think the majority of people in the queer community are capable of understanding that men, especially queer men, are impacted by the patriarchy. Before anyone tries to say smt abt this in the comments, I’m not saying no trans men experience or have experienced misogyny, I’m saying it’s not the only system that can and has impacted trans men and I’m frustrated that it’s being pushed as such.

I’ve heard the back and forthing about trans men and male privilege and every time I hear people say “trans men don’t have male privilege because they only get treated that way until someone finds out they’re trans” a bit frustrating. Gay men also often experience discrimination after getting outted or for appearing more flamboyant but no one really ever argues that gay men lose their male privilege. Idk it’s not all black and white. You can experience the negative effects of transphobia, the negative effects of the patriarchy, and still maintain male privilege at the same time. It’s all kinda circumstantial. For example, i didn’t have many friends in highschool because a lot of the guys in my area didn’t want to be friends with me after they found out I was trans (negative effect of transphobia), it was hard for me to make new and close friendships because I felt (my voice especially) didn’t live up to male standards for guys my age so I opted to avoid talking as much as possible. I was too worried about expressing emotions to let people get close to me (negative effects of patriarchy amplified by dysphoria) I’ve never once had to worry about unwanted advances from anyone and had a student leadership position where I was in charge of a kid who was misogynistic to the girl working under me (the only girl in management) but never to me because he only ever knew me as male. (Male privilege) Again, it’s not that I don’t think there’s a place for trans men to talk about their experiences with misogyny, I just feel like every time I see a trans guy online complaining about how trans men aren’t taken seriously when we talk about our problems, there’s a bunch of non-binary people in the comment section saying “yeah I get what you mean, people never take me seriously as a transmasc when I talk about misogyny and how we should be included in the 4b movement because we’re afab.”

Also side note, when people misgender trans men, it’s acknowledged that that’s transphobic, but personally I don’t understand why when someone applies women’s gender stereotypes to trans men, it’s magically misogyny instead of transphobia. What the person said was misogynistic, but I feel like what the trans person experienced was transphobia following the same logic. Idk on that one, I don’t wanna argue about it, but I’m still mulling that one over.

Idk there’s not really a good place to talk about how queer men are impacted by the patriarchy because justifiably, women don’t want to hear men cry about how the patriarchy effects them, and trans people with a history of being effected by misogyny also likely don’t really want to be in a circle jerk of guys talking about the patriarchy. I just do wish people took the time to understand the nuances of queer men within the patriarchy, and both the privileges and disadvantages that come with being queer man in a society that is built to cater towards men that are cis and heterosexual.

For anybody who is wondering, I took my completed passport renewal paperwork including old passport and court order for name & gender change to the post office for mailing on Nov. 15th. I paid for tracking and saw that it was received and checked in at the passport office on Nov. 22nd. I signed up for email notifications and received an email that my documents were sent back out on 12/10 and I received my new passport on 12/13. Based on the email I was just expecting my supporting document (court order) and old passport were sent out. It was my actual passport that showed up. Supporting document, old passport and new passport card are still pending. Based on my experience I think it is a good chance that if you get yours in by year end it will be approved and processed before any changes that fool could impose.

Link to resource

I’ve been working on compiling info on different areas and resources in upstate NY for those trying to move to a safe state without the big city costs. I figured I might as well just post it already even though it’s still pretty rough.

Some of this is from personal experience, but a lot of it is sourced from other people online. If you’re from upstate NY and have something to add, or disagree with something I put, please let me know (DM is fine for privacy)!

I’ve been using Plume for almost 2 years. They don’t take my insurance so I’ve been paying $99 per month plus the cost of meds. I’m trying to cut expenses and I’m wondering if anyone has canceled Plume until they were low on meds and then started again or switched back and forth with Folx to save money. Is this something I can do or am I gonna get in trouble for trying to cheat the system

I have never really bothered with packing bc I’ve never felt that I needed to, but I do wonder about others’ experiences.

I’d say I pass about 70% of the time, sometimes get misgendered if someone sees me from behind bc I have long hair, but I don’t really care and honestly kind of get a kick out of the face those people make when they see my beard lol. There are of course though some situations where I’d want to pass better.

I don’t usually like… /look/, so I don’t really know what I’d be trying to emulate if I were to pack, and I don’t imagine most people are looking, so it’s never seemed important to me, but I’m curious if anyone has found that it does have an effect on passing or how other people act around you?

I just cut my hair very short and I don't even want to go outside anymore. A few people thought I'm around 12 year old after the haircut. I'm 16.

Everyone in the house hated my new haircut, even my dad and siblings who doesn't know I'm trans said they hated it. So it proves that it's not about my gender at all and the haircut is genuinely bad.

My mom constantly says "you should've listened to me. I knew it would look bad."

But I was curious 😭

l will never pass as a man :(

I’m 24, 5’2, 140 lbs. I’m slim up top with pretty wide hips. I had a job interview today and took the position and now I need some business casual clothes asap. What I’m most concerned with is finding a good dress shirt. Slim fit will not work. I’m thinking a classic fit might work? But the sleeves will definitely be too long and may need to be altered. Wondering if it’d be worth checking the kids section or not? If anyone has any suggestions it would be much appreciated.

Neck: 15.5 in

Shoulders: 44 in

Chest: 36 in (pecs) 34in (below pecs)

Waist: 31 in

Hips: 41.5 in

TRIGGER WARNING: I discuss religious and physical abuse here. I discuss misogyny and discrimination.

I really needed to say this today. Somewhere, some way. I've kept it bottled in for far too long, and I think it's finally time to let it out. It is EXTREMELY long though, so, fair warning.

Firstly, I'll spoil it a little to say that this does have a happy ending. I'm 26 years old and on T. But the road to get to where I am now was nothing short of hell.

Second. I got stuck with this weird username I can't change. Sorry. Haha. I'm new-ish to reddit.

Now, then. I'll be mature about it and say that I was quite arguably one of the biggest assholes around for all of my pre-out days. I knew I was a boy just about as soon as I became sentient. I was supposed to be one biologically, apparently, as all of the tests and scans showed. But I digress.

My parents were not thrilled with the fact that I was so insistent on being a boy and were very hostile and abusive towards me as they quite literally beat me into submission. When I was 9 or so, I remember being introduced to puberty. I thought you could just choose which one you wanted to be. When someone told me that I couldn't, and I would grow up to look like a "pretty princess" one day... That was the first time I recall feeling the dread and sickness in my stomach. I cried so hard my parents had to take me home.

Being a "girl" was not something I ever felt, wanted, needed, etc. It was something I experienced, sure... But experienced forcibly. It was drilled into me and I was kicking and screaming and an absolute demon any time I had to be feminine in public. I still can't wrap my head around how my parents could call my deviance "evil" while also doing what they did to me, in the same breath.

I grew up in a religious cult, excessively sheltered from literally everything. And I mean it. The world was so much more advanced than I ever could have expected by the time I was allowed my "lite freedom" at 18. I did not know what LGBT was until age 18, but I didn't need to know. My parents cannot cite Internet as something that "corrupted" me because I never had a chance to look things up of that nature.

The way I was raised was deeply harmful to me and stunted my growth, I can guarantee it. As mentioned before, I was a HUGE asshole, always acting out. It started in childhood. Insisting I wasn't female. Insulted, disgusted, that I would be seen as one. Ripping clothes, screaming, spitting, destroying anything feminine in my wake. Dolls were gifted to me on birthdays and Christmas, and my tantrums got so bad that my parents had to beg people not to get them for me, because I would smash them to bits or return them to the store the next day in a fit of rage.

Being around other boys was all that calmed me down. That was all I wanted. I felt normal, comfortable, and happy when I was. Take me out of that environment or reprimand me for it and I was back to being a monster.

This didn't go away as I got older. Just changed forms. I'm quite certain something was mentally wrong with me at that point (in the worst sense of the word) but parents did not believe in mental health so I never went to a doc about it. I was lashing out all the time. I hated everything and everyone. I felt like a cornered animal trapped in a cage and didn't hesitate to bully, insult, discriminate, and put others down in any attempt to make myself feel a shred of control over my life. I was a terrible friend to those who somehow put up with me. I was violent, I committed crimes, and joined a small gang later in my teen years. I had zero empathy and was proud of it.

I remember in preteen years when girls around me (friends included) started to become more girly, it felt like my whole world was collapsing. Like this plague was spreading and taking all my loved ones with it. I thought it was some kind of huge inside joke - being a woman. Because I literally could not wrap my head around it, and just assumed that everyone else's experience was exactly the same as mine. I would beg my friends not to "fall for it" and ask them if they seriously, genuinely felt like they liked that stuff. It felt like the end of the world to me and I hated it.

And so I began to see womanhood/girlhood as that, as a blight. So began my teenage years and the absolute worst phase of my life. Again, I did not understand whatsoever that girls were just... Girls. I saw what was happening to me, and assumed that every single other person who looked like me was being "brainwashed" into it was well. I felt masculine and so this was the lense in which I understood life. I believed you were either "normal" or "female". It was horrible. Who knew, being aggressively sheltered and kept in the dark about complex cultural/societal things in the name of religion could do so much harm. (Every sane person, that's who.)

I remember at 13 is when I really started questioning my gender without really understanding what I was doing. I started going by Jesse as a way to dodge accusations from my parents (since it's a unisex name) and everybody called me that except for them. I thought everyone else was weird for respecting me and calling me Jesse without even questioning it. No pushback, no "that's not your real name", just... A normal, polite "Okay." Wow. What a game changer.

Since I was sheltered and my only real authority to consult were either mom, dad, or bishop - I was the golden shining example of a misogynist, racist, homophobe, xenophobe, etc etc every word. I was a self-absorbed, disgusting narcissist. I was an asshole. I was borderline violent, brandishing a knife constantly and threatening people who looked at me funny with it. My god, how I wish I could just go back in time and strangle my past self, but that kid didn't know any better. It was such a miserable experience. I was always seething with rage. I don't think I had a single moment where gender wasn't in the back of my mind, like this looming threat that I could never let my guard down around, because when I least expected it someone would probably grab me from behind and force me into a dress "for your own good".

I was stubborn though, and nobody could actually get me in a dress past the age of 13ish. I told my mom I wanted a hysto at that point, and threatened a lot of awful violent acts if I was not allowed to be myself. I never wore makeup, nobody could get close enough to apply it. I'd hit and spit if they tried. Yes, as a teenager. So many arguments with parents. I realize now, if they were raised with the same level of sheltered-ness as I was, then it was no wonder they treated me as they did. They didn't understand.

I remember a handful of times where I was so tired of fighting that I wondered if I were to just give up and accept it, would I actually enjoy being female? It didn't feel fair whatsoever. But I do remember I tried. And I tried HARD. I hated every single second of it, and it sucks because to this day my parents will still point to those months and use it as evidence of me "being a girl" because I wore a shawl that one time, or said I'd get a boyfriend that other time (no no, I'm not saying being gay is wrong, but my parents sure as hell tried to force liking guys onto me even when I clearly didn't.)

I developed some pretty bad mental issues that I finally did go and see a doctor about at 15 after my parents threatened to institutionalize me for being a "brat" as they called it. Even there, I didn't know what to tell my therapist. Everyone around me, it seemed, was just concerned with figuratively beating me back into place as a "female" so why bother asking a therapist. So I didn't. I kept it buried. I let it fuel my rage as I tried to skirt around the "you can't be a boy" rule as much as possible. As far as I was concerned, what I was feeling was completely normal.

I told everyone I met that I was a "guy in a girl's body" and as soon as I could afford my own clothes, I did . It was beyond cathartic to donate the most feminine clothes every few months. But it wasn't the best progress ever. I was still limited to the tough biker lesbian aesthetic, but that was still better than nothing. Though I wanted to go insane every time my dad asked me when I was going to grow out of this "phase".

A real turning point for me happened at age 16. My mom took me to a photoshoot place and said she wanted mother-daughter pics. I still vividly remember the day as one of the worst days in my entire life. The studio would have us wearing dresses, hats, and holding parasols. Oh god, just rememberin it is giving me nausea.

I remember how bad I screamed and cried and YELLED and even tried to run. My mom grabbed my arm and pulled me so hard she snapped my wrist. I felt ultimate betrayal, disgust, humiliation, and seething hatred. She kicked me under the table and forced me to wipe my eyes and smile because I was ruining this moment for her. When the pictures were printed, it didn't take a keen eye to see that my smile was forced, but that didn't stop her from touting it as the greatest picture ever and sending copies to all of our family. I wanted nothing more than to disappear. I despised that stupid picture. And years later she would still use that photo of evidence that I was "a girl". (Oh, there's a good ending to this too. I destroyed the main picture a few years back.)

Eventually at age 17 I was allowed to have social media. I mean, technically I had a Facebook at 13 back when that was a thing. Of course it was under my parents' watchful eyes, so after getting scolded nightly by them for my posts, it felt more restricting than fun and I deleted it a year later. I remember having a secret account on an obscure website, and I'd masquerade as a guy named Luciano. Hah.. that was fun.

But at 17, I really had my first experience with social media and it was then that I seriously began to realize how archaic I was. I was infamous on the platform itself as one of the most toxic and obnoxious users there. Oh, and how I reveled in it. I was proud to be "toxic", if that's what rejecting femininity meant. I remember having a good 5 accounts on there, I even talked to myself to validate myself because NO ONE ELSE would. Oh yeah, I had it bad. I instigated arguments and insulted everyone and it was then that I was introduced to the concept of gender and sexuality... My perspective began to shift. I started to have an epiphany.

It was as if this was some secret forbidden knowledge, except that everybody else seemed to know it except for me. I appreciate whatever people out there in the world came across my very violent and aggressive posts and saw it as a red flag and somehow made it a point to try and help me. But it wasn't easy.

I still remember the first time I ever met a trans person online. Well, I probably did before but they avoided me like the plague or were stealth. Who knows. But this guy wanted to be my friend. He said, "I'm trans, is that okay?" I had no idea what that meant. I responded, "What's that?" ...and the rest is history.

I was so enthralled... I remember responding "Whoa, that's cool. Yeah I don't mind" and then never responding ever again because I was lost in my own head. My profile was absolutely littered with red flags and misogynistic things and yet, I wonder if this guy somehow recognized through my words that I was a trans guy without realizing it.

Immediately, it was like something clicked. All of those years of pretending. Of panicking. Of lashing out and giving up and then continuing the fight and defending myself cycling through this over and over again... There was finally a light at the end of the tunnel, and for once, it wasn't a false alarm.

I turned 18 and my mom gave me a lengthy speech about the dangers of the "fallen" world and that I needed to hold tight to my faith. Geez, she was acting as if she was releasing me straight into a den of lions. But when I was exposed to the real world... I grieved. I grieved for everything I lost, that I could have had. Things that everybody else knew while I was stuck as a hardcore religious super-conservative orange-man supporting asshole. I finally started to come out of my shell. To think that paradise had always been here, that I wasn't a freak, I wasn't a blight, I wasn't wrong.

I was so scared. Terrified even. The first time I lightly asked my mom if she knew what being trans meant, she recoiled as if I had just spilled toxic sludge on her. She started a hate campaign against me of constantly berating me, slipping bible verses under my door, telling me the devil was possessing me, and all that jazz. The worst part is that I almost started to believe her. She was always super manipulative and had this way of instilling fear into me by giving me anxiety attacks, and then blaming those attacks on the devil. In this case she had told me to "resist" it before it was too late.

And I hate to admit it, but I listened to her. I continued to be a horrible bully, a transphobic homophobic troll. What's worse is that my mom was praising me for this and encouraging me saying that I was doing the Lord's work by quite literally harassing innocent people online. She would laugh and say she was proud of me. But I felt so sick inside, I knew this couldn't be right.

Through watching all of the ultra-conservative content she was shoveling my way, I started to zone out and realize that this was just another way of trying to scare me and put me back in line. I still felt like a guy. It's not like that ever went away. When I told my friends the way I felt, they were so nonchalant and normal about it, like it was just some casual Tuesday chat. "Oh, maybe you're trans." they'd say.

I learned about it in secret for the rest of the year. It was immensely healing to do that. I don't think there really are any words to describe just how right all of that was, reading about it, reading people's experiences, and best of all, seeing that there was an actual solution to it.

When I realized that I was trans... It was like my soul had been put to rest. The outbursts stopped. The lashing out stopped. My fight or flight response calmed down. I was... At peace. With myself, with everyone, with the world... It was like I had finally found myself, and nobody could ever wrestle it out of my hands ever again. It was a night and day change from a miserable person with a miserable life to a calm person with hope for the future. And that was all it took.

I came out officially in 2018, at age 20. First to my friend group, who all accepted me immediately and said they already knew. Then to extended family, who shrugged and said cool. It was so... Normal. So respectful. I didn't have to defend myself or intimidate anyone into agreeing with me for once. They just did, because it was the right and normal thing to do. It was the first year that I truly felt comfortable with myself and my identity.

It was a lot more difficult when it came to my parents. I had to tell my mom about six different times across two years before she actually started to listen to me. Each time was nothing short of a severe panic attack while she screamed bible verses and demon-expelling chants. I don't know how, but at some point, she started googling it outside of her usual echo chambers and started to understand where I was coming from.

I socially transitioned and had my legal name change in 2019, and everyone except for my father has respected it. My dad is a lost case, but I've come to accept that. I don't need his permission to be happy. But he certainly hated it. He gave me the silent treatment for a week straight, refusing to even be in the same room as me. What a drama king. My mom on the other hand, has also thankfully become a much kinder person who started to call me her son and acknowledge that I want to marry a woman and not a man.

By then, all the clothes I owned were mine. I bought them myself. I was cutting my hair shorter and had a new social media account where I could just be myself. I had a private Instagram with my favorite pictures I took of myself, and for once I knew what it felt like to look at a picture and like what was staring back at me. I stopped shying away from cameras and started jumping into the frame. I stopped scowling and started grinning. Instead of getting hit with random waves of depression and rage throughout the day, I'd get waves of contentment and happiness, and relax my muscles. The world wasn't spitting me out... It had embraced me.

Getting on T was a much more difficult ordeal, mainly because all throughout my teen and young adult years I had a heart condition that almost resulted in surgery. I couldn't take anything like that, but now that I'm healed, I was able to go on it just nine days ago. It's fairly recent, and I suppose that's why all of these thoughts came flooding back to me now.

I feel happy. I had to fight tooth and nail, literally, to get to where I am now. I was not ever a girl. I never felt like one. I don't understand female experiences because I never had them, and that's something I try to explain to my mother all the time. I grew up in male spaces, and they put up with me and treated me as an equal even in all my angsty edgy hateful youth. I was always just a guy being forced to behave as a woman, putting on an act that ended the moment I was out of a public space. I was never feminine in any sense of the word and, for better or for worse, I did not experience any kind of discrimination that I am aware of except by my very own parents and that religious community.

It really does feel good to get that all off of my chest. I could probably go on and on about other facets of this but I've already taken up so much time writing all this that I'd better leave it at that. I'm glad that my life finally belongs to me now, and I can follow my passions and be the best version of myself now.

I'm sorry and regretful nearly every day for the hurt that I caused people online when I was in that stage of my life. It doesn't excuse it at all. I really and truly didn't know any better, I've always wished I could go back and find every person I ever bullied and apologize. Though, if it helps, I punched myself hard in the face 100 times a couple years ago as atonement. Lol. I deserved it.

Nowhere to go but forward now. I'm at peace. Thank you, if you somehow read all of this. I don't really have anything profound to say here... Just be good to yourself I guess.

Later.

I finished nursing school and had one person I really talked to. During long, drawn out classes, I'd be here on Reddit and she always wanted to know what I was doing. I told her she wouldn't want to know. Yesterday I let some classmates order UberEats from my phone and I made an offhand comment about how I'm iffy about people being on my phone. Usually this is because some things I may talk to someone about may not be something they want others to see, but I had Grindr on my phone which was stressing me out.

Eventually I just explained that a lot of the things I didn't want to show her revolved around my sexuality. She took it fine. She's an open minded person and has always said she's accepting of whoever a person is, including her kids. But I couldn't sleep last night because I regret saying anything.

I debated coming out as trans a few times but I love being stealth way more than ever telling anyone and I just couldn't tell her that. So explaining that I'm into men seemed like a way to break down a wall. However, I hate anyone knowing I'm gay/like men/whatever. It seems like the most emasculating thing I could tell someone. I'm thankful after tonight we won't see each other again but I have to also get through graduation. I feel sick to my stomach and less of a man than I usually feel.

Nearly 2 years on T and just switched from tostran gel to 3 week injections testoviran. i can barely stay awake. sleep all day . im exhausted. depressed. cant work. cant go to the gym... just wanna sleep

anyone else?

Such a weirdly specific thing, but i CANNOT live with short nails, and at the same time keeping them long lowkey makes me dysphoric and worry about how i'm perceived.

I have sensory issues and can't stand the feeling of the very tips of my fingers touching anything: the part that's covered by longer nails. I also have a weird thing about leaving fingerprints. Probably indirectly related to my PTSD and how i grew up, potentially a compulsion too, but i get nauseosly anxious if i knowingly leave a single fingerprint somewhere public. With long nails i can grab things with my nails and palms rather than my fingers and not be as scared of that (it sounds weird but no-one's ever noticed until i ask them if they have and they start specifically paying attention to how i use my hands. Years of practise in acting effortlessly strange lol).

Does anyone else keep their nails long? Do you get comments about them? Does anyone actually notice or care? It's such a dumb thing to worry about but i'm not sure what to do about it

I'm really anxious about regretting buying any shoes in the upcoming months since I heard Testosterone can grow shoe size. I have small feet (41 EU) so it's good but It makes buying shoes really stressful. i wanna buy shoes my size but then I think mybe getting size 42 is better in case my feet grow but I don't wanna look stupid walking around in loose shoes (I hate insoles so I don't use them). what should I do?

So aside from the people who know, almost all strangers I encounter don't really seem to get that I'm trans. Everyone keeps referring to me in feminine ways and I don't know why that keeps happening?? I have a little mustache, short hair, I dress masculine. The only reason I could think of is because I'm short? But everyone who knows me and knows I'm trans all say they don't understand how people keep misgendering me.

Does anyone have tips for me? Does it go away?

Edit: I'm not on T, I'm a binary trans man and bisexual Edit 2: My transpassing post with recent pics

This might be an uncomfortable topic for many, but I was wondering - if you came out or realized you were trans during puberty years, how long after your first period did this occur?

When I first went to get support for my transition, I was 13-14. By the time I got to talk to someone I had gotten my period maybe 2-3 times and I was specifically asked about this. It's something I had completely forgotten about until my 3am brain the other night gave me some sorta dysphoria related impostor syndrome, and I was reminded. It made me think about why I was asked (most suitable answer is probably for medical reasons but I was biased in the moment) and how many trans men that realize/come out pretty early after having gotten their first period?

I'm 21 now. I can remember the moment I researched dysphoria and how I identified with that term and thought it described me perfectly. But I can't rly remember exactly why it clicked for me that I'm a trans man, idk if that makes sense. I guess the impostor syndrome was telling me I just despised having a period sm that I wanted to be a guy lol. Which isn't true of course.

Not that it has to be related to eachother in terms of invalidating your identity, just a question cuz i genuinely wanna know if it's common to realize you're a trans guy coincidentally when your period has recently started.

I'm only 7 months on T, so I have a lot of room to grow. I pass 100% of the time. In the few times I have come out (to ex-partners or potential partners), they have always been surprised and admitted they had no idea. My voice is very male, and I consider it to be cis-passing. However, when I look at myself, I still think I look "female" or identifiably "trans man".

My eye shape and overall facial features there feel disgustingly feminine. My face is very rounded and soft. My facial hair looks thin and just very "stereotypically trans" but I can't bring myself to shave because I feel as though I won't pass if I do. I have 0 trace of an Adam's apple. My jawline is not masculine at all.

This is just my face. This is not including my hands, my hips, my height, my... everything.

I have crippling bottom dysphoric (prosthetics do help, though), and my top dysphoria is more bareable than it used to be, but I'm still hyper aware of it and it causes me intense amounts of distress.

Does this feeling of "picking apart" yourself ever go away? I can't shake the feeling that I "look trans" to myself and I hate it.

I've seen a lot of conflicting information on contraceptives on this subreddit and wanted to give a primer on contraceptives for trans men, particularly on testosterone. I'm a medical student graduating in a month and while I'm not going into a specialty that prescribes contraception, I do know how to find and interpret the literature.

My source is this: https://www.contraceptionjournal.org/article/S0010-7824(20)30104-9/fulltext this is the article that ACOG (American College of Obstetrics and Gymecology) references, and it's the most complete guide I've seen thus far. It's a long read, so if you just want the gist skip down to "Recommendations", and I'll summarize the points below.

1. Testosterone is not contraception. It may suppress ovulation unreliably, contributing to lack of menstrual cycle, but it is not reliable enough to be the sole source of contraception

2. Any method of contraception is safe in trans men, even on testosterone. There is no good data to assess effects of estrogen in trans men on testosterone. Based on clinical knowledge, there is some chance of it interfering with testosterone therapy due to sharing the proteins in the blood its carried on. However, this isn't necessarily seen in clinical practice, and the same considerations for combined therapy should be used for trans men that they are for cis women. If bleeding suppression is desired, continuous use of combined methods may be used

3. If estrogen is not desired by a trans man for any reason, other options exist. Progestin only birth control options are effective and may suppress bleeding (though it's not as reliable as continuous combined therapy). If a pelvic exam isn't on the table, options like depo Provera and the nexplanon are good options. Hormonal IUDs are longer lasting, but do require a pelvic procedure.

4. If no hormones are desired at all, there are still options, though they're more limited. The most reliable is the copper IUD. However, the copper IUD can make pain and bleeding worse, and requires a pelvic procedure. Condoms or other barrier methods are also a good option.

I'd also like to use this post as a reminder that pap smears are very important, even for trans men. HPV vaccines are also an excellent idea, especially if you're not receiving regular pap smears.

Happy to answer any questions to the best of my ability. Can't give medical advice, but general questions are fair game. Hope this helps!

So, I missed about three T shots and then started taking it again but I did .3mL instead of my normal dose (.4mL) just to ease back in because I didn't want to have anger side effects. The following week; I went back to my normal dose and it was fine. About a day before my next T shots, I started spotting after masturbating. Nothing was inserted. I've been spotting ever since. I get a really bad pelvic pain for about 6 seconds then it goes away completely for about 5-6 minutes then comes back again. I've read all about vaginal atrophy and I'm curious if it sounds like that or if it's because I missed my shot. Based on my symptoms, if any of you have experienced this, which one do you think it could be? I already scheduled a visit to my doctor but in the meantime l'm just curious as to what it might be since it's giving me a bit of anxiety. I haven't had my period since I started taking T February of 2021. I started spotting on Tuesday morning and it is now Thursday night.