The one who’s not in any group chats because you’re lucky to even have the few individual friends you have you at most hit you up here and there?

The one who’s never invited on a trip?

The one who never has anyone to throw you events like the way normies get showers, surprises, etc thrown for them?

The one who, even if you go lucky and got married, wouldn’t have many friends show up or do friends thing/have no or maybe 1-2 bridesmaids, IF even?

The one who doesn’t have inside jokes with people, people who tease you?

The one who is ALWAYS reaching out first especially because you know that if you don’t you will lose the few people you have?

Idk what other social things normies do that I haven’t gotten to experience?!! Feel free to add to this please, I’d love to share our struggles so we are less lonely in being alone!

Hello everyone.

Its always so awkward to start these things...well. Here goes.

I have started to try dating again recently. Im lonely. I want to love and be loved by someone. Ive tried a dating app, Kippo. Swipe every day, shoot off messages as much as i can. Nothing. So i turned to reddit.

Alright get the laughs out of the way, i know, its hilarious.

Posting on Forever Alone Dating has yielded no success. I do have responses. Sometimes its a compatability thing, we dont jive, thats fine. Other times tho...we talk for hours. Into the late hours. We tall about things we like, dont like, oue lives, what we want. I think "Is she the one? Is this finally my time? Shes perfect!" We say our "good night, see you tomorrow." I tell them how happy i am that we talked and i cant wait to hear from them.

the next morning i wake up. I send a message, a simple "good morning, hope you slept well."

5 minutes pass.

"Well, theyre still sleeping its fine."

30 minutes pass.

"Yup just a late riser im sure."

2 hours pass, im at work.

"They must be just...busy with work! Yeah!..."

3 hours.

"Did i say something wrong?"

4 hours.

"Maybe they didnt like something i mentioned?"

5 hours.

"What did i do?"

6 hours.

"Why did they leave?"

7 hours.

"What did i do wrong."

By then, ive given up. Im not stupid. Youre not either. You know that if they dont reply within a certain time, its a ghosting. Youre left standing there. Wondering. Where did it go wrong? What changed between Good Night, and Good Morning? You'll never know.

Maybe they got cold feet? Maybe it was something they didnt like that you talked about? Maybe they were about to respond, but in that moment, a giant meteor decsended from outerspace, and crushed them in an act of divine intervention. After all. We're destined to be alone.

Its not like i spend the time professing my love immediatly, im not stupid. I just talk, casual conversation, learn about them, and tell them about me. What hurts is when we exchange photos and then they leave. Like damn, guess i really am ugly.

It wouldnt hurt so much if we didnt spend the last night talking for so long, and then the next morning they just leave. No reason given. Sometimes even blocking me. I just wish i knew why. Just a hint, so i could know what to change about myself that obviously makes me so repulsive to women after the first 5 hours.

I saw a tiktok the other day, Brooke and Juble got a called for their Second Date program, he said they had a great time, messaged her the next day, and she ghosted him. He called cuz he wanted to know why, and he broke down on radio talking about it. And they fucking mocked him. They laughed at it. "Dude it was one date, how are you so worked up over this?" I get where hes coming from. I understand what he is feeling because ive been there.

So why do we try? We try because we want it. We want it more than anything in the world. More than games, or books, or tv shows, or oxygen even! I want to find someone who i can give ALL my love to, but no one will take it. No one wants my love, and it hurts. But i try because i want it so badly. It hurts when i get told that im a sweet guy, only for them to leave. I guess i was "too sweet", whatever that means. All i want is a chance. A chance to show a woman what im capable of. That im capable of being there for her, and loving her like no man has before.

I want to give up. Im tired of the pain, and the heart ache from all the rejections. But i cant give up. Because ive never wanted anything more than this in my entire life.

I hope some people find comfort in the fact that they arent alone in feeling this way. I hope all you lonely people are able to find the one person you belong with. Because i know that if youre anything like me. That person will be the most cherished and love person in your life.

Have a good day everyone. Keep trying. Keep pushing forward.

I feel cracy that this is the place I am asking. Just had another setback irl and feel like dying. So does anyone have anything positive to say?

I've been going to the gym for 7 months. Great, right? I should have improved so much and basically fixed my life right?? Wrong, all I did was put some muscle on and get a few "do you exercise" questions but absolutely nothing has changed in my life. Still no friends or anyone showing romantic interest in me.

What logical reason is there to keep to it? I'm still ugly, I'm still awkward, it doesn't make me feel better. The "endorphins" you're supposed to get from the exercise expired for me after the first few months. Now it just feels like work. Draining two hours a day exercising for nothing instead of at least doing my vices. And no, I'm not and I was never fat. I am thin either way. So after my card expires, I feel like I'll just take a break from it, maybe for good. What do yall think?

I’m curious about us F.A’s, mainly why we keep going sometimes for myself I’m not sure why I keep going day to day I honestly don’t know maybe it’s the vain hope that one day I’ll get out of being F.A. What about y’all, what is your reason for enduring the suffering that being F.A can give you? Why do you wake up every morning and live your life?

Me IRL

Condensed version is at the bottom.

I think there’s a lot of people in this sub that can relate to the old “I was never focused on a relationship” or the “It just never happened” story. Now you’re at the point where you don’t see any conceivable way out, or rather… any way into someone else’s life. 

The first time I visited this sub was in 2015. I was halfway through 11th grade at the time. During the semester break in 2014, two of my closest friends got into a relationship, posting about it online. Somehow, it was completely unexpected to me. Through the holiday break I couldn’t help but overthink about what this meant about the future of our friendship. Unsurprisingly, I became the third wheel. I had nowhere else to go. Sure, there were others I was friendly with, but no other ‘core friends.’ The entire second semester of 10th grade, and first of 11th grade was painful. Throughout the span of a year, I got to watch as my friends experienced the joy of being in a relationship, while I sat back knowing I had no chance in achieving that myself.

I made a video on New Year’s Eve of 2015. I was alone, my parents at a party of some sort. As an only child I had plenty of alone time, but I happened to be gifted a camera that Christmas, so I picked it up and began to talk about what I was feeling at the time. Most of it was venting, but one part sticks with me to this day. I predicted that once I went to college/university & completed my studies, I wouldn’t have anyone close to me anymore. I was right.

Maybe it was a self-fulfilling prophecy, but I had reason to believe that would be the case. When shifting into high school, I lost many of my friends. I had reason to believe it would happen again. Today, I sit as a college graduate, one who graduated in 2020 right as the pandemic started. My life was lined up to take a new direction. I was geared to move to a big city, get a new job with the potential for evolving into a career in my field. All of it vanished in just a couple days.

Since then I did some work as a social media manager, and video editor. It gave some pay, but  that company eventually fell under, causing me to lose that work. After some time, I decided to fully pursue content creation. I wanted to fill the gap I now had in my post-graduate life. People. 

I also always wanted to fully pursue livestreaming alongside creating videos and forming a community. I thought that on the production side of things I could do fairly well for myself. It was the social aspect that I knew would be a struggle. Nonetheless, I did it for years, trying multiple things from only videos, to livestreams and videos, to only livestreams, to livestreams and clips, etc. From the time since I’ve started (2021), I’ve grown steadily, but it’s never been enough to continue pursuing it full-time like I have. This year I had to make the sad decision to drop it. 

Looking back on it through January, I realize it was mostly a distraction. I was distracting myself from the fact that outside of doing it, I had nothing. No friends, no one to talk to. Whenever my streams were over, I returned to nothing. Maybe some notifications about recent news would be on my phone, or some random promotional email. Nothing personal though.

Currently, I don’t know where my life is headed. I think about ending things every once in a while (don’t worry I won’t). Often I think about how lonely it feels all the time. I get into bad habits sometimes to further distract myself from the soulless-ness of my existence. I’ve recently got back into fingerboarding (watch out ladies), and have been spending way too much cash on it. These things never last though… it just bides extra time to what feels like an end-point that never comes. 

All I’ve ever wanted to do was good things, do things well, help people, and be one of the ‘good ones.’ Throughout most of my life I’ve had multiple people say good things about me, whether or not I was there, or someone told me about it afterwards. I’m glad some people’s memory remembers me that way. Unfortunately, all that time burying myself in work and helping those around me, caused me to neglect maintaining and exercising the social aspect of life, and now… I’m paying the price for it. I feel as empty as those ‘alien bodies’ shown in Mexican congress a few years ago (provided the picture in case you don't know what I'm talking about).

I don’t know exactly what I could have done differently, but all I know is maybe I would have tried to talk to more people, become involved in an event or two… something. Asking someone out in school was scary, because no one likes rejection. However if I were to try that now, I’d probably be pepper-sprayed and arrested. 

I just yearn for someone to be mine, and for me to be theirs. To experience life together, and to tell each other that we can get through it… that things will be okay. Someone to embrace and hold for as long as you both need. I’ve never had an intimate relationship like that with anyone. I hate that I convince myself that that is an unrealistic relationship to have, even if the internet proves it happens to so many people every day. Most of all though, I want someone who truly understands me; someone who can somehow see the deepest parts of myself without even trying. I feel like such a fake no matter who I talk to, and I wish I didn’t have to anymore.

Maybe it’ll happen someday. Maybe I’ll find the path for me, one that will take me to all the places I want to go, meet the people I want to meet, and be with the person I wish to find. However, to quote the words of Shrek: “Like THAT’S ever gonna happen!”

I’m turning 26 years old in a few months. I think I’m doomed, boys.

TL;DR In high school I experienced a year of being a third wheel to my friend’s relationship. I made a video venting about it, and predicting that after college I’d have no friends. I was right. The Covid Pandemic ruined my future career chances, forcing me to be a social media manager and video editor. After pursuing livestreaming to fill the void of no social interaction, I’ve had to drop it after 3~4 years, as I can no longer sustain that lifestyle. Currently I do nothing, rot in bed and try to distract myself from the loneliness. I wish I had someone to help me through this, someone to understand me, and someone I could love back. Sadly, it seems too late now.

My friends are fake, Gods love is fake The “compliments” from my parents and teachers are fake. I can’t listen to pop music without wanting to Kill myself or hurt myself. No one really takes me seriously. I never had a girlfriend, I’m too ugly and I’m broke. I dont drink, I don’t go out. I don’t deserve to feel this way

A huge part of my problem was the life path I took. The result is that my personality is shit and void of any relatability. If I have any value at all, then no one can see it. I have become undesirable by the nature of my habits. As someone with autism and OCD and I never cold deliver with any charisma at all. I can't fake it to save my life, all attempts to do so have been cringe. If you don't feel it inside, then the facade will just fall apart. So I just be myself and come across as boring.

What can I even do when I have nothing in the future I feel I can even look forward to and no one to share it with

Last year I enlisted with the Marine Corps. I thought "worse case scenario I die who cares" and got shipped within like a month. Long story short I caught every respiratory illness and lost weight I really couldn't afford to lose, which completely broke my mental, which led them to ELS me. I want to write about it. And if anybody has seen the "just enlist" type advice and has questions, I am not a recruiter so I can can tell you real shit.

Making friends with other recruits was a bizarre experience for me, cause I haven't had in person friends since like middle school. I do not know how talk to people. But something about basic training just deletes that, all my social anxieties and shit just vanished immediately. It's like your brain just goes "we have worse shit to worry about" and completely turns it off. I really had fun talking to the dudes around me for the first time in a long time. It's like being in a 2fort lobby half the time, the shit people say. The guys I met there are the best friends I've ever had. Oh and literally everybody in there is hyper-pessimistic about women, most of them are there cause something happened to them. Hard to say more without breaking rules on inc*l references.

The training was actually a lot of fun. Every single aspect of it is stressful and painful, but it's fun. Similar to how working out is fun. I didn't get to enjoy much training cause I got sick pretty quick and then I was just actively dying all the time, but it would have been fun. Except the martial arts training, worse than fucking daycare karate classes.

My drill instructors, despite their best efforts, were pretty cool. But it's totally a mixed bag, some DIs are there because they really like training recruits and want to make you better, and other DIs are there because it's a promotion requirement. Just pray you don't get a female DI if you are a male, they have this bizarre dynamic going on with male recruits that you just don't want to be a part of. Like despite the fact that she's a SSgt and you're a recruit, good lord. I don't want to say there's a freaky sexual tension thing going on but honestly that's kind of what's going on- it's fucking weird and terrible and they really should just limit female DIs to female platoons. You think you want the bitchy tomboy mommy, you think you want Samus Aran to bully you but not under these circumstances trust

I can't really recommend it to people in our kind of situation. It's great for losers to socialize despite themselves, it's great for establishing routine and raising your confidence and your energy levels. But at the end of the day it's really fucking brutally stressful no matter how you cut it. What gets to you is the lack of downtime. Especially if you get sick, it is very very hard to rest and decompress, and the tension gets you. I genuinely lost my mind in basic, it crept up on me and before I knew wtf was happening I was in a hospital room under 24/7 surveillance. People kill themselves frequently. People try to escape through the fucking gator swamp. I had a kid try to run out the backdoor in Separation Platoon while I was on firewatch- like brother where tf are you going to go? Having mental health issues disqualifies you from service for good reason. Fun adventure though looking back on it.

I always had difficulty making friends at school. The other kids made fun of me. In primary school I had an imaginary book with the word NO written it. It was the answer to should I trust someone to be my friend, because each time they would hurt me.

As to success in dating it seems to go mostly to oeople who are extroverts and can make friends with ease. If you were the kind of guy who was only friends with other outcasts in school, then you can have a hard time adopting a different role later in life.

It is nonetheless possible. Fake it till you make it. Immitate their mannerisms. You have of course to be in the right environment to meet people who are good at dating. And it works best if you occupy a strategic position in that environment. For example, if you are a bartender, cool extroverted people who know girls will want to be your friend.

I'm spending alone, but at least my family wished me a happy birthday. The last time my birthday was celebrated was when I was 13, no friends though. Every year since then it's been a normal day for me. 18-20 I've spent my birthday working. I was supposed to meet with a former friend but it seems like she's too busy. I'm so lonely and isolated that it feels like I borderline don't exist

Its Friday, the weekend is practically already here. Don't forget to love yourself and remember you matter. There's no point to feel alone in a community where people are just like you going through the same things. Even if you think no one understands there are people that do. Start your weekend by doing something nice for you and when Sunday comes end it weekend the way you started it. If your going through a rough time remember you got this!

Having a romantic partner is such an advantage over singles in many ways , handing life together .Dual income, easier to get better apartments and houses unless you're really doing well financially yourself. If you're sick have someone who cares for you . Cooking together and having meals together. spending holidays with each other's family and on romantic nights. Someone to wait for you when you both get home from a hard day at work. Etc.

When you're fa you're playing life in solo mode and it can get much tougher. And before someone says friends and family, they don't scratch the same itch. You're building a new life together with a romantic partner.

I wanted to discuss this concept that friendships are actually good for health and being alone can be bad for health. I am sure this is a controversial idea and will generate a lot of debate. So please contribute, I want to hear from you.

I'm not sure if this is entirely related to FA or vice versa...
But I catch myself not caring about anything anymore. If someone held me at knifepoint to take my phone, I’d probably just fight (in a sense that I do not care about my life)
I don’t intend to spread negativity in real life, so I’m venting here. But it’s just something I’ve noticed about myself.
Especially when living with a roommate who is doing way better in every aspect, the contrast becomes even more apparent.
When people make remarks about homeless drug addicts and say things like 'Anyone could seek help; they’re doing this to themselves,' I silently relate. Not caring to the point where you just shut down, I genuinely understand that mindset. I really do relate to the homeless.

I'm pretty sure everyone is familiar with the story of an old guy who lived alone in a shack and was secretly a multi-millionaire and left everything he had to some cause or another. This will likely be me in 50 years. Have you all given any thought to what will happen to your worldly possessions, having no descendants? My current considerations include buying and donating park land, burying a chest full of gold coins with a treasure map protected by a series of riddles and booby traps, and taking out a mountain of cash and burning it Joker-style.

Ive had a girl ask me out, but after talking to her for a day or to at school I cut her off (Even I have standards). Other than that, Im to embarrased to ask a girl out at my school. How about yall? Ladies, yall can use this too 😆

You’ve put on a few pounds and suddenly, you start to comment on my social media posts?

You’ve got a few more wrinkles and now when you see me at the function, you’re curious about how I’m doing?

You’re a few years older, and it’s starting to show, and now you want to get to know me better?

In the past, I couldn’t get your attention. In the past, you would barely respond to a single question. In the past, a mumble and a nod might be my only greeting. Now, you’re wondering why we never got to know each other better.

It could be maturity, but I’ve got my doubts.

I grew up poor with an irresponsible father my entire life. Ever since I was young, I’ve been giving him my money because he would waste it on himself or things he didn’t need. He never taught me how to be a man or take care of myself, so I feel like I’m behind in life. I avoided asking any girl out because of family issues, many flaws I have and my appearance

I'm 20 years old and don’t drive or have a car because my dad doesn’t let me save up any money. The little money I was able to hide for myself as a teenager, I used to buy Christmas or birthday presents for myself. I’m currently working on fixing issues with my face and body, but it won’t be long before he asks for that money too. I don’t earn much, which makes me question if any girl would be interested in me when I can’t afford to take her out on dates. I’m not good-looking, below average in height, and uninteresting, which doesn’t help my situation either.

It wouldn’t even be worth initiating with a girl, even if she shows “signs,” (which have never been genuine, but I still hope that they are) because, even from the course of casual interactions, they would throw me away immediately after realizing I wouldn’t be fun to play with.

There are more interesting guys. There are more interesting friends. The mountains of difference between us two. I would only have Her, while She has the world. All the interesting things revolve around each other.

I am nothing.

I guess that's one good thing being FA, 0 sexual partners 0 STDs, perfectly eligible.

Been feeling worthless and treated like a nobody. I was rejected and failed so many times and still never had a girlfriend in real life. At least my blood has some value and might save someone.

I stayed at the refreshments area for a while afterwards hoping to meet someone nice, but only a group of priviledged people and some old people.

I can't kill myself now, because my Mom would be very sad and she's really all I have, but I just feel done with the world. There's a huge chunk of just being human that I'll never experience, that I'm reminded of every damn day. All I do is get older. I feel like I'm just taking up space and the only thing I have to look forward to is watching my body, that l already fucking hate, decay further. That and watching my country go to absolute shit. Pills don't help, lifting doesn't help, "putting myself out there" doesn't fucking help. And god fucking forbid you try to find someone that might understand outside of here. I'm really just done with this shit.

I passed on on some chances that I got lately and I wonder to myself if I'm gonna get them back. I thought to myself well this wouldn't work and most people agreed with me when I told them about the circumstances that made me pass on these chances but now I wonder maybe i should have just settled. At this point I think I'm not gonna be getting any attention at all from anyone. I'm past 25, all that matters is looks and money and anything else that I have that could be interesting is purely superfluous. I might end up having money in the future but the looks I believe is a weak point in me. Not that I'm ugly but nowadays you have to be handsome otherwise you're screwed. I work and study a lot, like I'm super busy so gym to get attractive probably would only work out on weekends and I'm so stressed it's hard to keep a diet but at least I'm not overweight.

I'm 30M. Only people that have ever complimented me or even hinted at me being attractive were either 70+, extremely mentally ill or a drug addict. Obviously I've never dated or even had anyone like me seriously and I've accepted that's not going to change.

The issue is that as I get older, most people don't give a fuck about what you do for work or hobbies. Talk always goes to kids, spouses, etc. Activities for adults are all under the assumption you're gonna bring friends (which I don't have) or it's meant for couples so it's hard to even pick up hobbies.

Yes i mean we cause its me too

Hey guys, I hope this doesn't come across as insensitive, but I recently had a conversation with a friend who's been kind of slipping into being FA for some time and I want to settle a disagreement we had. Long story short, he said there was a huge correlation with being FA and being obese, but my intuition tells me that that's not necessarily the case.

If you don't mind me asking, how many of you would say that excess body weight plays an important part in you being FA? How about being too skinny or simply not athletic enough?

Thanks in advance and sorry if this is a shitty question to ask!

EDIT: Thank you for all your replies! I think my intuition was right and being overweight isn't the deciding factor or anything.

My days are tough, I struggle to survive. I want to turn suicidal and give up on life but it’s not happening. I miss being suicidal, I feel much better when I am because I get the sense that I could rest in eternal peace. Gn.

I don't know how to start as i have so many things to say and yet so little

For you to understand this whole situation I will have to say few things before starting I am a male 20 year old never had a girlfriend I lost all my friends nobody talks to me nor texts me unless I start the conversation am pretty sure that I have a depression and some form of anxiety I started working since 18 if your asking why it's because I have to support my mum and sisters I buy food I pay rend and everything else I don't go to pubs and If I buy anything it's after a whole day of me saying to myself "but what if something goes wrong and I'll need the money" and after buying it I feel like a piece of shit and my mum doesn't look like she even cares she buys that she buys that goes to pubs and I just found out that she's sleeping with our landlord and even though I told her not to do it "but why not" good question because she was in a toxic relationship that was very bad and I just don't want any problems and she still does what she wants I always told myself that I can't kill myself because it would make her very sad now I am thinking that I will kill myself and write that I was suffering because of her

I am a pussy so am not going to do it

I just want to get a woman have a family and live peacefully

Sorry for such a long post and if it is a bit all over the place