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I’ve been in my career for a while now and have worked my way up through hard work and dedication. I recently received a promotion, which I’m really proud of, but my boss gave me some constructive feedback that got me thinking. She mentioned that to be seen as the confident, capable leader I know I am, I need to work on how I come across to others; especially now that I’m stepping into a more senior role.

I appreciate her honesty, and I completely agree. My challenge is that I’ve often been described as having a light-hearted and bubbly personality, which is something I value. However, I’m aware that it might sometimes be perceived as lacking authority or seriousness, especially in leadership positions.

I’d love to hear from anyone who has successfully navigated this balance. How can I maintain my authentic self while also presenting a more commanding and focused presence in the workplace? Any personal experiences, strategies, or book recommendations would be much appreciated

Tried it twice, I have zero clue what I'm doing, I'm a latebloomer in that regard and I'm embarrassed to ask at this point. But I didn't like it. The taste, the texture... no.

What's your experience with it? Do you like it?

Governments, schools, parents, priests, religious leaders, companies, UN, human rights organisations all do not care about women. They failed YOU.

Societies and cultures across the world pride themselves in caring for what's right and creating a good efficient society. However, despite all of that, and all the humans who came before you, no one was concerned with how a young girl would react or think if she ever came across pornography and saw how her fellow women were being treated and depicted. Even when discussing the negative effects of porn, they're worried about teenage boys not about you or your dignity.

Where there are no boundaries, no limits, no respect, no consequences to what you do to whatever looks like a woman. Porn is built on destroying women. The watchers thrives on humiliating and breaking women... You can go so far and break every human right and every social rule against women but nobody will try to stop it. Remember this every time you look at leaders of the world, whether it be a church, school, organisations, filmmakers, governments... all of it.

Because you aren't intimidating enough as a being, you've been too nice, you've said yes to too many things you didn't want, you've defended your oppressors, you prioritised men and their attention, you didn't respect other women, you were okay having low self esteem, you had to compromise on ur dignity, you've smiled as you were getting fucked and spit on by men, other women failed you and you have failed yourself. You don't know your real value or power, you're too easy to take advantage of. You have internal shame but not when it comes to men degrading you because you believe u deserve it. You believe u have no power.

Does it ever make you stop and think? Your soul is screaming at you.

You've been betrayed and you too have betrayed yourself. Because you see how womanhood is treated and you know you're a part of said womanhood.

To be a feminist requires too much wisdom and to be a feminist is to take action and to make sure every action has an impact and the lack of that negates your "feminist" values.

At family/family friend events, I like to play with and watch the kids. For one, these are kids I've known since they were babies and love as my family. For another, it's only a few kids at a time. Not 20 at once.

Now I'm not saying teaching isn't a challenging and stimulating career. I'm established in wanting to go into marine conservation. I'm passionate about it, I like to learn new things about this field daily. I want to do work pertaining to that.

But every time someone sees me, as a woman, be good with kids, they dismissively ask if I'm sure I don't want to be a teacher. I am in a highly esteemed graduate program for marine sciences. I am proud of my choice, I already started it, I like it, it's new and challenges me. Teaching also requires a lot of intelligence, but I feel that I am being limited as a woman when people suggest this. Not intellectually, but into a career that's female dominated and more "comfortable" for people to picture a woman doing.

I say "no, I am happy with my choice" and I hear a plethora of excuses like "you would have time off to be with your own kids", (also, in my opinion, sexist to assume I want kids AND that I will be the caretaker parent). My partner is going to be a teacher, we already have a caretaker parent to be off and watch the kids during break! I've also never heard someone say this to a man in a professional career path. It's just "he'd be a great dad!".

It makes me feel like just because I'm a woman who's GOOD at caretaking, people feel that should be my life's purpose. I don't feel like I owe anyone any explanation about it, or that I need to please them with a career they see for me. However, it is so hurtful as a woman to excitedly talk about my studies, and the amazing work I'm doing/learning, and be dismissed about my passions. I don't need their validation, but I feel I am justified in just wishing they would show the same polite respect they would show a woman who's announcing an engagement or baby.

I'm a girl and I'm curious about experiencing sex for the first time, but I'm also scared about how it could affect my life. I'm quite happy sexually just by masturbation and I'm afraid that once I will experience sex I will become addicted to it and doing by myself won't satisfy me anymore. I 've heard many people say that sex is like air and once you try it you will always want more and i' m afraid it could become a problem to me and lead me to be frustrated. Do you this is overthinking and such an experience won't change things so much or is it a real risk I could get into?

Hi, I went on a date this week, I met him on a dating app. It wasn't a formal date, we just walked around the neighbourhood (we are both from the same neighbourhood) for about an hour. I was wearing jeans and a loose shirt (linen blend, collar, short-sleeves), leather shoes, I wore a little makeup and everything and he came in loose grey t-shirt and black sweatpants. He looked like he was heading to the gym. I was a little taken aback. Felt like in the Chappell Roan song "There I was in my heels with my hair straight [...] and he was wearing these fugly jeans".

I don't feel like I'm being nice judging him by his clothing (he could've worn jeans at least). I didn't like some other stuff about him too (mentioned how he got really angry playing league of legends, hitting the table & was a little too sexual over text, said he wanted us 'as close as possible' which I didn't like).

I wanted to give this guy a shot, to be open-minded but now idk how to feel

I came across a poll on hunch app, asking "if Feminism is outdated?" and saw that 43% of the votes were on "yes". What’s the most effective way to counter this argument?

If you’ve noticed the alarming increase in toxic comments on IG in the past year or so, this post is for you. The comment algorithm, especially on reels, consistently pushes the most controversial and negative comments to the top. These comments often contain extreme violent, misogynistic, or racist comments. I’ve often come across reels of children with the top comments having explicit pedophilic intent. I’ve come across many reels where the top comments talk about intending s*xual assault. These comments are rarely ever deleted or moderated even after many reports.

This is harmful for the creators of these reels and everyone seeing these comments. Letting these type of comments go unchecked normalizes this harmful rhetoric. It socializes young people on the app to think these alarming ideologies are okay or even good since they are consistently on top of other comments.

These comments being placed at the top drive engagement by people arguing against them in the replies and so IG continues to let this go on. Instagram has shown they value profit over the severe negative impact this issue can have on the users’ wellbeing. There hasn’t been an organized group of users that have come together to call Instagram out on this. I’ve created a petition to urge Instagram to change their comment moderation policies. If you feel similarly, please sign! We can come together to make a change. ❤️

https://www.change.org/CreateASaferInstagram

I am in a federal job placement program for people with (new) disabilities. I'm on my second "job coach" assigned through the program. (The first one was a man who consistently disrespected my time - missed meetings, giving me the runaround over documents, then said I was "stressing out" when I asked to be reassigned.)

I met the second coach in person yesterday to sign paperwork. He went through the required list of questions about goals, challenges, etc. I could tell he wasn't "getting" anything I was saying. He kept giving very generic responses, didn't show any emotion/response to anything I said. Maybe he deals with clients all day and sees them as numbers?

I told him I was trying to ask interview questions to weed out bad employers, after a series of bad jobs over the last few years. Without asking for any further details, this was his response:

"Maybe you need to make some sacrifices given the urgency of your job search."

I said we'd butt heads over that, because if he knew what had happened, he wouldn't be saying that. Only THEN did he ask for any details/clarity. I gave him a rough sketch of the jobs & workplace bullying & reiterated the necessity of weeding that stuff out. He seemed a touch sheepish. For the rest of the meeting, I made sure to stay short and to-the-point with him. I thought about it for the rest of the day and decided to ask for a female coach to eliminate the inherent gender dynamic.

I emailed him this morning asking for a female replacement. (My email is pasted below.) I wanted to ping him directly, instead of sideways through the program, and not mince words to prevent misinterpretation.

Here's my email:

"Thanks for your time yesterday.  Based on our conversation,  I felt a significant disconnect. I'm particularly concerned about the fact that, when I mentioned 4 toxic jobs and a desire to weed out future ones, your initial knee-jerk response was to say I needed to make sacrifices and essentially be less picky, given the urgency of my job search.  It was only after I put my foot down & indicated we'd butt heads over this, that you asked for clarity. This is concerning because 1) toxic jobs shouldn't be a surprise,  2) you jumped to conclusions about me (being picky) instead of the jobs, 3) you explained my own joblessness to me, and 4) I didn't ask your advice on what to prioritize in my own life and job outcomes. Do you have a female colleague who would be able to do any interview prep with me so you could just focus on applications/resume review (since you said my resume needed attention). I'm not comfortable having vulnerable conversations with someone so presumptuous, frankly, and I suspect a change in gender would nix the problem.  Looking forward to your response. "

*****

He responded like I expected: dismissing & deflecting everything I said. He said he was "taken aback" and gave his version of our conversation (a shined-up recap of his backpedaling), and did not acknowledge the unsolicited advice. He said he thought changing the coach's gender would not solve this, ie completely missed the point. He also cc'ed the program person who assigns my coaches.

I responded reiterating that he did in fact say what he said, it was in fact presumptuous and disrespectful, and suggested he research the documented gender dynamic that typically looks like THIS. I said this is patterned behavior that can be changed, but the person has to be willing to acknowledge the other person's experience, which I'm not seeing here.

THEN, my program person wanted a phone call. This devolved rapidly. I thought she was onboard with why I wanted to change at least the first vendor (edited: we hadn't touched on the second one yet), & thought she understood the program had been rocky for me. I thought it was pretty obvious why someone would want to be reassigned after these experiences. However she started changing the subject, deflecting, pretending not to know or remember significant events/conversations, despite them being documented in my emails. Ie. she knows what happened and just does not want to acknowledge any of this. She even had the nerve to suggest my mental health was causing my frustration & said she didn't understand (edited) where else my frustration was coming from! (This agency requires participants to get comprehensive medical care, so she felt entitled to say that????) When she said that, I'd already told her I was tempted to drop out of the program because of all the drama, so I told her she had a lot of nerve and I'd be following up in writing. I did, and said if I couldn't be reassigned, it's better for me to exit the program. I'll check for her response tomorrow.

I guess I'm looking for someone to talk to about all this.

I came across a poll on hunch app, asking if there are lots of misconceptions around feminism, and 63% of the votes were on "yes" and I wonder what are they. I've noticed a lot of misunderstandings about what feminism truly stands for. What do you think are the most common misconceptions, and how can we address them?

TW: Discussion of scenes from movies involving sexual assault or rape.

I like the original Evil Dead movies, but the rapey scenes in the 2013 adaptation still make me uncomfortable to think about even though I watched it years ago. If you've seen it, you know what I mean, but it's just gross. (Clarification in comments.)

I absolutely love Alien and was glad they seemed to be going back to their roots with this new movie. There were a couple of red flags in the trailers, but I thought those might be one-offs. The face hugger little.... thing very graphically inserting itself into one male character's mouth, then obscenely removing a disgustingly long version of that thing from a woman's mouth towards the end.

Ridley Scott made the xenomorphs a rape metaphor without making it so graphic and obvious. Now I really don't want to see it without scouring DoestheDogDie.com or CommonSenseMedia reviews. Why can't we have nice Alien movies anymore?? Maybe I'm way out of pocket with this, but I've been let down too many times. :(

So, I found this article and I knew I had to share it. This is infuriating. This is modern rendition of society of East India company army wives. This is all outdated. Please read the article. This goes completely unnoticed in india for most parts. These women just stay silent and bare it.

"How “Army Wives” Are Seen As Free Labour. – The Pamphleteer" https://thepamphleteer.in/2022/01/10/how-army-wives-are-seen-as-free-labour

Please upvote so it can get some attention.

This has really been bothering me; happened last week. I tried posting on the Feminism sub but got banned. What really bothers me, in addition to feeling preyed upon, is that I overrode my gut and let this guy lead the conversation when he was clearly using my car problems to hit on me. I have always wished there wasn't a male-female dynamic, because it's insulting to my intelligence that men interact with me based on their physiological response to my anatomy instead of my intelligence. As a cis straight female, there have been so many men ask (yes ask) if I'm a lesbian or asexual because I don't appreciate this dynamic and am offended by male comments about my appearance (evaluations of my body).

Why, then, do I balk in the moment and let them say these things, put on the spot, in an effort to avoid unnecessary confrontation with a stranger I'll never see again, but it leaves me feeling gross, used, weak, gullible, and diminutive?

Edited to add: In that moment, my instinct was to not engage. Not acknowledge, ignore, pretend we're in a normal, non-sexualized conversation we're SUPPOSED TO BE IN! My parents have personality disorders, both of them. Standing up for myself has always been a topic fraught with bravery and hesitation.......

Here's what happened:

I had parked on the street overnight because the van started having issues. In the a.m., the neighborhood watch knocked on my door and wanted to see if there was anyone in the van. I got out to show I wasn't a crackhead and told him about the transmission. Here's where he subtly turned this into a trap. Him: "This muffler shop does transmissions and they're great. Here, I'll show you where to go when they open." Me: hesitated (I don't need help finding the door!) but overrode myself like I usually do when I'm put on the spot, and followed him. Him: asked about my transmission. me: embarrassed; said my dad didn't tell me some pretty basic things bc he wanted to do everything himself, ie bc I'm female. Him: "And you probably didn't have a boyfriend to tell you -- I don't know what way you swing," making it sound like he didn't want to"make assumptions " that I'm straight.... I can't believe he had the nerve to ask about my sexual preference, cloaked like that. I couldn't find my phone, so he offered to call it and said, "if you don't mind some guy calling you." I hesitated again, not actually needing him to call it, but overrode that too bc of the plausible deniability. Goddamnit. Him: "For safety, are there any big dogs or big guys in the van?" plausibly deniable goddamnit. Got the van going, made it to the gym nearby. He called and asked if I wanted to get a beer and "talk about something else" besides the van. I told him I was not picking anyone up, not looking for romance at ALL, didn't want to talk about anything but the van. He said he respected that (which is bullshit I now realize), and I *actually agreed to a beer under those conditions". I can't believe I actually fell for it. I ignored his text the next day and have been kicking myself ever since. This is the LAST TIME I ever engage with a man in public under any circumstance. It'll be less stressful to have a blanket policy than to judge each man individually and risk THIS embarrassment.

RIP “muchbooty”, no one understood you

The trailer for Nicole Newnham’s 2023 documentary, The disappearance of Shere Hite has been rotating upwards on social media of late.

At a semi-educated guess, I’d say it’s not long before this excellent film appears on a streaming service or two or three.

I’ve already watched and enjoyed the film, so was diving into a few reviews to get a sense of other people’s takes. In particular I was watching Mark Kermode’s review.

Towards the end of said review, Kermode and his broadcast partner, Simon Mayo, have the following exchange:

Kermode: somebody said to me that they were talking to one of their younger colleagues or a student or something and they mentioned The Hite Report and the guy said ‘what’s that?’, and she went ‘I can’t believe that we’ve got to the point that people are going “what’s The Hite Report?”.’ I mean, if you were our age^1 there were copies of it everywhere.

Mayo: I’ve never seen it.

Kermode: You’ve never seen The Hite Report?

Mayo: No.

Kermode: Well, OK. All right. Well that maybe says something about me.^2

I was as taken aback as Kermode that Mayo had never seen this book. And I was as appalled as Kermode’s somebody that we’ve gotten to the point that people don’t know what The Hite Report is.

Because Shere Hite was a pioneering sexologist who’s two major research works are still important reading today, 48 years and 43 years after the first and second were published respectively.

Her first major work, The Hite report: a nationwide study of female sexuality, was, as others have noted a sexual revolution in six hundred pages.

Hite surveyed 100,000+ American women, ranging in age from 14 to 78, and asked, for pretty much the first time, what they did and did not like about sex; what orgasms felt like to them; what their sexual pleasures and frustrations were; and so much more.

The book exploded across America, becoming the 30th bestselling US book of all time.

Millions of women had their own experiences publicly validated — in print, and on TV, and on the radio — for the first time.

It is not underselling it to say Hite’s book changed the sexual and intimate lives of millions.

Hite’s second major work was The Hite report on male sexuality. Published in 1981, it did not get nearly as much attention at the time.

Which is a deadly pity, because all of the signs and symptoms of Straight Male despair and loneliness, mostly (indeed, almost exclusively) expressed as anger, are set out in Hite’s book.

Hite did not set out to predict the creation and rise of Incels. But it’s all there in the data and in the survey responses.

This said, it is also not underselling things to say the backlash against Hite and her work was fierce and horrendous.

So horrific were the constant attacks on her and her work that, only a few years after publishing, Hite left the United States and never came back. She eventually renounced her American citizenship, took German citizenship, and after living in both France and Germany for many years, settled, in her later years, with her second husband, in Tottenham, England.

And, contrary to the plain meaning of the documentary’s title, Hite did not disappear. She continued to work and publish, including a novel, Fliegen mit Jupiter, published in 1991 (the English translation, Flying with Jupiter was published in 1993).

But, as the documentary makes clear, Hite was disappeared. She was removed from the default narrative of things that happened in the 1970 and 1980s in the United States.

And even the women who’d learned from her work mostly forgot where they’d learned these things from. Which damaged their ability to pass on the lessons to those coming after them.

Virtually everything women, today, are talking about with regards sex and sexual pleasure, is clearly and explicitly talked about in Hite’s first book, from 48 years ago.

One of the more insidious ways the marginalised are held in their marginalised place is by having their own past erased, generation after generation.

Because women — even women advocating for sexual and social liberation — routinely don’t know who Shere Hite was, and don’t know her work, they end up spending enormous amounts of time and energy, in effect, re-creating said work.

And, and even worse, the disappearance of Hite and her reports from the general record means even if these advocates do know about her and her work, they can’t just build on it, because the people they are arguing with and the people they are arguing for don’t recognise the shoulders on which they stand.

1. Mark Kermode was born 1963-07-02. He is closing in on 61 years old as I write and post this.

2. To quote from the Wikipedia article linked to above:

In the mid-1980s, Kermode was an "affiliate" of the Revolutionary Communist Group (RCG) and was involved in the Viraj Mendis Defence Campaign, against the deportation of one of the group's members to Sri Lanka. This developed into a high-profile national campaign involving people from left-wing groups such as the RCG, local residents of Manchester and extending to church leaders and Labour Party Members of Parliament. Kermode describes himself in this period as “a red-flag waving bolshie bore with a subscription to Fight Racism Fight Imperialism and no sense of humour.”

Her name will just be V for now. I've been friends with her for almost my entire life. I can barely remember a time where we weren't friends. I would do anything for her. Now I'm not amazing at showing gratitude and care, so I wrote a note and made a bracelet based off the song "Home". The actual bracelet says "Home is wherever I'm with you" because it reminded me of her, but I felt the note was a little corny because it said things like "There isn't much I wouldn't do for you" and quotes from the song like "Hot and heavy pumpkin pie, chocolate candy Jesus Christ, ain't nothing pleases me more than you" and "Man oh man you're my best friend, I scream it to the nothingness" and when I showed the note to one of my friends they said that it was bassicaly a love note. And I started thinking and realized I loved her, a lot. Though I know she likely doesn't return feelings. Recently I've been thinking about her a lot and I just don't know what to do.

I guess this was also kind of a vent

I’m a 25f and I’ve had a crush on my 25f bff basically since childhood. We both came out around the same time but she was a bit more comfortable with her sexuality before me. I’m fairly timid and don’t date around too much. But I also think it’s partially because I feel like I’ve found my person in my best friend and lowkey/highkey want to see how it would go between us. I’m very bad at flirting and we always joke about how hard it is to tell when another woman is flirting with us. (Sometimes feels friendly with notes of a lil something else). We occasionally say (what I think are) flirtatious jokes/comments to eachother but never done anything physical. On one hand I’m afraid of making it known that I’m sexually and romantically attracted to her because we have been best friends since middle school and o don’t want to ruin the relationship but on the other hand I feel like I just want to go for it because it’s hard for me to date anyone else while she’s on my mind. I was thinking of trying to kiss her on New Year’s and phrase it as “just for practice 😏😉” since we haven’t been with anyone in a while. This could be a bad idea and trigger my fear of rejection tenfold or she will kiss me back and we just go back to normal orrrr she’ll kiss me back and her facial/body language/etc will show she’s into me as well? Idk I’m scaredddddd lol.

I really want to be a feminine, girly person with that pretty gentle aura. But specifically, every time I wear something girly, It feels wrong. I'm a person who's quite grungy, and always opts for dark colours. I also don't act very girly, I'm a pretty low tone chill 'buddy' person, or in my energetic moments it's a weirdo energy (which I love.) I've also got numerous issues and am quite a competitive person, which doesn't help (I know this is an issue for self-development) Do you have any advice on how I can feel more girly? Or should I just accept myself/improve mental health?

It's been 4 months coming out of a 3.5 year relationship. I've been working on myself, lots of progress made, but the feelings are still there. It's exhausting, tiring, and feels cringe.

My partner and I both work. They work out of the home, and always have.

Over the years I’ve worked both from my home office and outside the home. Recently, I’m back to working entirely from my home office, albeit with a touch more real-time interaction with colleagues than was previously common in my field. And most of these colleagues are half-a-dozen and more time-zones away.

As a consequence of this and other aspects of our household logistics, our shared food-preparing has changed.

What was, for a long time, a set of real-time shared tasks has become a still-shared but now bifurcated set of tasks.

For more than a year now, I’ve made our breakfast and prepared my lunch and their lunch each morning, and they have done almost all the dinner-making. (I do fill the plongeur’s and/or commise’s role, depending on the meal. Sometimes, however and thanks to my occasionally funtastic schedule, I do the plongeur’s jobs after the meal is done.)

Also, and separately from this, we eat out once a week, and we are both all-in on Friday afternoon Shabbat prep.

Several months into this new, and emergent, pattern, I started worrying that this was an inequitable division of labour.

I mentioned this and my partner shrugged their shoulders and noted that:

1. it was a simple and practical division given our schedules; and consequently

2. they were OK with it.

And I should have been fine with that. We’ve been together for decades; bought property; raised kids; nursed agéd family; managed serious illnesses and injuries, and more. If my partner says they are OK with something, I believe them.

But it was still bothering me. So, recently, I brought it up again. This time noting that my problem was that they were now spending more time on food prep than I was. Which didn’t seem fair.

And they looked at me sideways and said ‘huh’.

Because — as they then explained — when I’d first brought it up, they’d also had a worry about the new pattern, but it was essentially the opposite of mine.

Their concern was that our new, bifurcated, approach, meant I was doing two-thirds of the food prep and they were only doing one-third. And not even all of one-third at that, since I was both my own plongeur and their plongeur.

Which made me smile for two, and then three, reasons.

First, that we were both worried on the other’s behalf, even if we’d not managed to get that point across the first time the issue had been raised.

And second, that we were measuring the task sharing on completely different but entirely explicable scales (me: time-taken; they: % of meals prepared) and had both made the standard error of assuming our particular scale was so self-evident, it didn’t need explicit mention. Our cognitive biases are always there, even — indeed, especially — when we don’t think they are.

A few hours later, I smiled for the third reason. Because, belatedly, it occurred to me that, while we both measured the tasks differently, neither of us gendered the tasks. Tasks that are, still, strongly gendered in the wider world.

Because, one advantage of queering the intimate relationship script, is the way it requires you to unpack and abandon the gendered defaults.

And, if you do that for long enough, you have a mundane domestic discussion one day and, a few hours later, realise you’ve not thought about the logistics of your day-to-day life in gendered terms for decades, and perhaps ever.

And, moreover, that thinking about this stuff in un-gendered terms is, without question and absolutely, better.

I honestly don't know if I should stick with him after hearing his thoughts on the movie. By him saying its "anti-male", it made me do a double take. I read this post and I remember him saying that it was a horror movie, and why men were painted so cruelly in the movie just because they wanted to be equals in Barbieland. I was like... I honestly don't know how I could still be friends with him.

Reading online and in the media, etc...everybody says women like men more than men like women, in a more well rounded way and across the world and throughout history. Many people even question if men even like women and say that take sex with women away and men instead prefer men in every way. ("Men only want one thing," men see men as superior to women.) This made me depressed and reclusive, knowing that I am surrounded by people who think and accept that, and by women who stay attracted to men despite that, since I have lost all attraction to men due to these things

I asked my psychologist, parents and sister (f eminist) about some of the things I read online regarding this and they said:

That most people think that sexism is more common towards women than men, but not so much more common. And that sexism is not about hating women nor seeing them as inferior. It's about men having had the physical strength in history to gain and exert power and control. And women were seen as different, but equal. Traditional roles meant men worked, women raised families. And like some women didn't like these roles & wanted to work, some men wanted to spend more time with their children and families. And also women weren't only defined by their relationships to men (nor there to serve men/be owned by men) anymore than men were defined by their relationships to women, since men were also expected to marry and work for the family

That most people think that sexism towards men is not just a thing as backlash because of sexism towards women

That most people don't think that men objectify women, while women don't objectify men. Nor that women respect men more and treat them better

That most people don't think violence towards women is about a hatred of women, and that it's instead about testosterone, power, control, and women being easier targets due to being physically weaker & men who commit d omestic violence and r ape are also the types to start pub fights with men, etc

That most don't think that women in typically male jobs, hobbies, roles and clubs have to prove themselves/are held to higher standards and harassed, (female gamers, etc) while men in typically female jobs, hobbies, roles and clubs are not harassed, are praised for the bare minimum. (Fathers with their kids, drag queens, gay male makeup artists, gay men & "gay BFFs" in general being supported more by women than lesbians are by women or men, etc.) Nor that women and female celebs in general are held to higher standards and behavioural standards than men and hated for a lot less. Nor that men need male lead characters and male role models in movies, books and music, etc, whereas women like male or female

That most don't think that women have internalised misogny and hate each other, compete and get jealous while men have stronger friendships, bonds, bromances and camaraderie

That most don't think that muslim men and muslim countries (billions of people) hate women or treat them like rubbish, while the women love the men much more. And that most don't think that across the world and throughout history women like men more than men like women, in a more well rounded way, nor that if you took sex away men would prefer men in all ways

What do you think? My psychologist, parents and sister have known and know many people, are quite mainstream. I have no real life experience, only reading online and looking at the media, etc. F eminist women and f eminist men seem to have a victimisation fetish and tortured souls who perceive fetish, as they stay attracted to men and don't expect women to lose attraction to men. Being happy with finding the needle in the haystack is pathetic.

I read online and saw in the media, etc about ageism towards women, and it made me wonder why women are not miserable that they are surrounded by it and by the fact women are attracted to a wider age range of men. And I questioned why women as they age stay attracted to men, in a pathetic, unrequited attraction and find the needle in the haystack type of way. And also I wondered why older people aren't depressed that people see their faces, their bodies and their sex lives in such a negative way. Since it made me not attracted to men anymore & low mood. I cannot accept this stuff being believed, accepted and surrounding me in society, and I became reclusive

So I asked my psychologist, parents and sister about this, and they said to me:

That physical beauty is not believed by most people to be about how much younger a person is/how much younger they look

And that it's not believed by most people that men prefer younger women when it comes down to physical beauty and sex

What do you think? My psychologist says she has known and worked with thousands of people & so that means she knows.