Join me for a virtual Happy Hour about an hour from now (5PM PT/8PM ET)

Bring your pegging questions and your favorite drink!

Register: https://www.theartofpegging.com/upcoming-webinars

I live in a big city, so there's a wider net when it comes to meeting people in the scene. I've been using fetlife so far.

I've had some less than impressive experiences with being a domme. From an older gent looking to be a slave but using our first meeting as an opportunity to fondle me and try to push my boundaries with regards to kinks far outside my scope of comfort, to a sub who stated a want for a FLR but ultimately ghosted after real-life play.

Very disappointing situation, not quite sure what I could do to make things better?

Hey folx! I will be playing with someone soon who is into degradation, mostly surrounding his masturbation habits. I don’t have much experience with degradation and would like to explore it. I’m just not sure how to tie it into his inability to control his own behavior. He wants disciplined for it too

Any advice would be greatly appreciated !

To my knowledge sub drop is basically the emotional problems post scene from lack of attention or affection. But what is the term for a subs mental state from his Domme constantly making unkept promises, or ignoring everything FLR related completely, and making her sub afraid to engage the subject because most of the time she responds negatively or I’m trying to manipulate her. My instinct tells me this is a dead subject and to have the funeral already. But then she’ll do something over the top for me. Like informing me she’s had a tailored sissy maid dress made for me, which is something I’ve imagined wearing for many years, this blew my mind when she told me… and I was patiently waiting for that day to come, that was 8 months ago and I’m still waiting patiently. If it’s a dead issue in her mind why do things like that, not to mention the amount of money she spent??

My pet was talking about some delicious food experiments he'd done in the kitchen today and comparing the difference between eggplant and chicken parmesan. Eggplant just behaves. It's crispy on the outside, soft on the inside. Never really gets out of line. It's there if you need it. It's good. But it's just not as good as chicken. Chicken you have to pound all to hell to get the right thickness, and cook it just right to get the right juiciness, but God is it worth it.

So what do you think? Are you eggplant, or chicken? 😂

i’d appreciate to know about this specially from other sub men here.. as a sub guy (26M), who lives within a conservative community, this have affected me massively specifically in the dating world, bc sub men are viewed as weak, non providers (i’m an intern physician who’s ultimate love language is actually providing and pleasing my partners when they’re compatible with me), or inferior in the view of society..

all my dating experiences ended up not going well either bc my S/O finding out that i’m a sub was a turnoff for them or some partners who pretended to act like a domme only to change their minds later on stating they’re subs… i have tried at some point to refunction my brain religiously to start being a switch (bc i always put my partner’s pleasure first as a sub before mine and hate being on the kink dispenser side),, but i always meet this with rejection of them not being able to do so bc it’s viewed as weird (this also kept feeding my brain by some of the toxic views of redbill community who keeps saying all women are subs deep down and are just acting this way bc they bring out the feminine energy in a guy they can’t see doming them which i still think is an utter bs)..

i have lost my confidence, went through depression, still think that i’d actually end up lonely or just basically start paying pro dommes at some point for a short time services and end up tearing with her cuddling me silently but i don’t want that, i still have feelings & i don’t want to enjoy short term pleasures but share all my life with someone and ended up figuring out maybe if i actually could leave my kinks for good and just be vanilla it’d help but im still failing at it & i feel like my sexuality will have bigger impact on my journey & now every time i nearly sob when i close my eyes and moan trying to touch myself thinking about a woman having her way with me..

i have been approached by many good women too when i was in college but i turned it down just bc i don’t want us to live like this in an incompatible way for both of us but it’s just frustrating for me at this point.. i hate that many people think that sub men are just like doormats you use whenever you like and they are not a lifetime worthy partners…

i’m sorry for ranting but i couldn’t find anywhere else to share this..

thank you in advance everyone & i’d appreciate the advices… xx

Last week I found a domme who was willing to accept me for who I was with all my quirks and whimsey. We have been firing on cylinders, already unlocking each others kinks (some of which are brand new to both of us). It's been absolutely incredible.

Then. After a week of intense back and forth. She disappeared yesterday. No replying to my messages. Pure breeze. I initially thought this was down to IRL commitments, which I totally get. But. She was replying to people on her Reddit posts. A few hours later, she blocked me on Reddit (if you've ever been blocked it sucks, as it shows that person still in the wild, but with the "wow, such empty" comment. Which is nonsense)

I was crushed. After such incredible chemistry I couldn't believe it.

After stewing for several hours I considered firing up my SFW account to reach out to ask what I had done wrong. But I didn't want to come across as a creep. She had made her decision to move on. Even though I was going down the corridors of my mind to workout what I had done to push her away.

'Screw it' I thought 'I'm gonna do it'. I sent her a message saying "Good morning" and waited for her to reply. About 30 mins later she came back. I then opened the floodgates of considered, mature emotion, revealing it was me and about how I was left to feel and how I was hurt and.... "Wait. I thought you had ghosted me!?" Came her reply.

As it transpired my client of our messaging platform crashed and she didn't get any of the dozen messages I sent. She was upset so blocked me on Reddit as a way to protect herself thinking I had gone back to another domme who had recently thrown me away. Which I totally understand. She felt I had left her and as a result wanted to mentally close that avenue down after such an intense period together.

I'm so happy we found each other and I couldn't be more excited about our future together!

So a few days ago I made a post on here about how my gf seemed to naturally pick up on my interest in femdom and submission to some extent without me even having to tell her directly, and how exciting that was for me.

Well we had another couple of awesome sex sessions this weekend that, among other things, included her asking me what it’s like to be “pleasured by a Goddess,” telling me she is only pleasuring me because I’ve been such a “good boy” but if I was a “bad boy” she would punish me, teasing me to the edge of discomfort (including using her nails on me) and controlling when I was allowed to cum, and telling me I am lucky her “services are free” so she could go as long as she wants.

Needless to say, it wasn’t very subtle anymore, so afterwards I had a pretty frank conversation with her in which I expressed my incredulity and amazement at her, saying she seems like a total natural and pro, and asking her where all this came from. She said she wasn’t entirely sure, just said and did what felt right in the moment, but admitted she had for a very long time fantasized about dominance but thought it was “weird” so suppressed it. Didn’t help that every man she was with before was vanilla to an extreme — bland missionary and that’s about it. But apparently even before we started testing the waters with more outright D/s stuff, she could already tell that I had the potential to be a very different kind of lover, and it ignited in her a sex drive she had never had before. Apparently I was the first man to ever make her cum with oral alone and I did it on the first try and later several times in one day. Also the first man to ever make her cum during penetration or any kind of sex without a vibe. And the first she ever felt into enough to take the lead and make the kind of dominant moves she did at all.

Needless to say, this was very inspiring to my confidence, and made me feel incredibly good that I could boost her own confidence and bring out this long dormant side to her sexuality. I let her know as much, and also let her know that my experience largely paralleled hers as I never thought I would experience anything like this either and for a very long time suppressed my submissive side out of shame and stigma. But she told me to absolutely not worry about that, that she is thrilled our desires match so uncannily well (we even seem to like to switch to just the right degree for each other, but acknowledged our main roles are clear), and that she is just relieved she has found a man who actually gets her and her needs, as she had worried she would never enjoy sex again after bad past experiences. She also told me that it doesn’t matter what anyone else does, that sex is extremely personal and private and intimate between just us.

Now the only thing left to worry about if I strain myself is the possibility that we could get carried away as we start to explore kinks and it could affect us negatively. But we seem so in tune with each other I highly doubt that, and mostly I am just really excited. I can hardly believe this is really happening. It almost seems suspicious, too good to be true somehow. But it’s not. I seem to have met my match, and it goes way beyond sex, but to say I am happy about this discovery of seemingly perfect compatibility is an understatement. It’s surreal.

So, there is hope out there! Does anyone else have any similar experiences or any advice as we embark on this journey together exploring each other and ourselves?

I was approached by a domme a few months ago who was the first to suggest the idea of playing with the much dreaded post-nut clarity.

I know a lot of my fellow subs lose all interest in subbing, and even sex, after cumming. I’m curious if anyone else has tried playing with the shame that a lot of subs experience.

It took me a while to work through it but I’ve managed to learn to embrace my submission even after cumming. It can take a level of self-discipline and control but it’s a lot of fun! And I know how much a domme appreciates a sub that pushes through just for her

I've always gone with pretty stock standard pet names for my wife but as our relationship has started to incorporate more and more femdom they don't seem appropriate anymore. I snuggled into her in bed last night and gave her a cuddle before going to sleep and said good night "sweetheart" she told me sweetheart doesn't feel right to her and I need to think of something else.

You've got your classics, mistress, goddess ECT which are awesome but I'm trying to think of something that gives a wink to the new hierarchy but you could let it slip out in front of the kids or friends without raising too much of an eyebrow. Any suggestions would be most welcome. Thanks again

Hi! My lady has required that every time I complete a chore I submit a picture to her. But she wants it to be a submissive or sexy picture that also shows I've done the chore.

Im a big guy and old. I... have no idea what kind of pictures would do that and appeal to her and she specifically won't tell me. So I come to you all, hoping for help. Please?

Any suggestions for how to do sexy or subby pics for laundry, paying bills, dishes, cleaning bedrooms, taking out trash, cleaning kitchen, cleaning a basement, vacuuming, bathrooms, etc? Posing, attire, angle, etc?

Edit: the title was supposed to be appealing to, not appeasing. Oops.

Hi r/femdomCommunity,

I'm new to your beautiful community, however I am not new to this lifestyle, yet forever learning, and yearning to be better.

I've a wonderful keyholder, I owe so much to her, and I'd like to show my appreciation by celebrating our milestone.

I've a few ideas, but I am indecisive and I'd appreciate your suggestions, and your guidance to help put together a wonderful celebration of our milestone 🫶

Some of my ideas:

Dinner Date: Taking her out for a lovely dinner, at a nice restaurant

Dinner @ Home: I'm thinking candle lit dinner, served by me, and provide a full fancy restaurant experience at home

Some gift ideas I've got:

Treats & Care Hamper: I'd put together a hamper for her, that's got some some self care items, and some treats

Custom Key Pendant: One of em sold on Etsy or something of the sort, which functions as key and looks incredibly gorgeous

Looking to get a better and bigger Bluetooth Butt plug. Drop your suggestions below please.

Hi all.

I wonder how you perceive someone who tries to start a conversation with you and is obviously not a native English speaker ? Are spelling and grammar mistakes a dealbreaker to you ?

I’m from Europe, and in my country having a proper writing is seen as a sign of good education and this can actually be a deal breaker in dating apps for example, and I know it’s something important to me as well. However for me it’s different when I chat in my own language with a foreigner, and I’m aware that some clumsy terms are normal and it don’t bother me to clarify what they mean if necessary.

I voluntarily don’t use any translation tool except for the phone corrector while writing this so you can judge by yourself. I’m worried that my English skills might be a serious disadvantage when trying to answer to personal from dommes on Reddit or when I sometimes get to interact with them. And I’m only talking here about writing skills, I’m very embarrassed about my terrible accent when I talk to natives speakers. Also sometimes slang can be hard to understand, fortunately google helps most of the times !

Of course I’m trying to improve it everyday, school wasn’t very helpful back in my days so Netflix and a few travel buddies were my best teachers haha.

So what do you think ? Am I doomed? Thank you for reading !

I (29F) am meeting my sub (27M) for the first time around the beginning of December. He is visiting me for my birthday!

I'm new to femdom in person, and I want to take the opportunity to have some kinky fun, but pace ourselves. My lack of experience with in-person femdom play is making me nervous and freeze up creatively.

So, I wanted to see if anyone here would share some ideas for simple newbie scenes (for in private), and/or bite-sized play (for casual moments).

For context, he'll be here the weekend before my birthday, staying very near my place. We'll take advantage of that weekend, and maybe a little after I get off work during the week, to acclimate to each other. Then, that Thursday we planned a nice dinner, and then we'll be frolicking around downtown throughout my birthday weekend.

Some ideas I had:

• Have him wear an anal plug while I give him a personal tour of a beloved historic hotel of mine
• Make him change into a pair of sexy panties in the restroom at dinner and give me his underwear discreetly
• I order for us at dinner for a more subtle power gap enforcement
• A sensation play scene where he's tied up and I can tease him and use a riding crop and flogger at the hotel room
• A boot/heel worship scene that leads to body worship

But I'd like some more ideas for:

• Out at dinner
• On a hike
• During a movie (in theaters or at home)
• Out and about walking / driving (I'm driving)
• And at the hotel room / AirBnb

  • He booked a beautiful historic hotel room, I'd like to have a fabulous yet simple scene.

I just want a bunch of ideas in my back pocket to use as I see fit. My creative juices are not juicing right now! Any help is much appreciated <3

I will keep it brief.

This girl I am talking to on Hinge was telling me how I should try raw mushrooms with hot-sweet sauce. I switched to my brat mode and said how I have a prejudice against mushrooms. She says that I should definitely consider her recommendation. I replied instantly saying that I will listen to her, and that I am obedient and trainable.

She replies and I will quote her word to word now:

Reply 1: I will definitely be following up tomorrow to see if you followed thru with the task.

Reply 2: Trainable you say? ;)

How should I interpret these messages? I know the context is vague, but should I showcase my submissive side to her? I don’t want to freak her out, neither do I want to jeopardise on anything Vanilla between us because she is a well-educated person and definitely my kind of academically smart.

I will remove this message if it doesn’t go with the community’s policies.

Thanks in advance.

I knew about my desires from a young age, but always worried it would be hard to find someone. My social media feeds are full of trad wife content, and as a young girl who wants the high powered career, I felt like most people would be pushed away and I was alone in my desires for a submissive guy. I didn’t want to find someone on a dating app, and I work 14 hour days most of the week.What chance was there for me? I’m fairly attractive, but between my work life, socially awkward personality and kinks, it felt impossible.

Id had a few submissive hookups, but nothing I ever wanted a relationship from, for various reasons. I’ve had a few submissive boyfriends, but it always felt like I was settling, but what were the odds of finding someone who was submissive and a better compatibility fit?

I met someone through work about about 2 years ago, where we were working on a project 1 on 1 for a while, but he would be gone in 6 months. There was a bit of an age gap, and he definitely had more traditional views, but we could talk for hours.

I figured given the age gap and the fact that we had a few things we didn’t see eye to eye on, it would be a fun few months.

But he melted my heart and turned out to be the perfect sub. He had never had a relationship where he was submissive before, and struggled with being submissive/ masculine a lot, especially at first. It was sexy for me, holding his hand and giving him all his firsts. I’ll refer to him as my little virgin, and he gets so brushy when I say that.

He’s started requesting a few things too he wanted to try which was hot, and reassured me he was feeling more comfortable in being submissive. He doesn’t have my crazy schedule, which means I come home to tasty food and a clean house which feels like a dream.

He’s independent, but knows how to be my needy slut, and he’s been so brave and vulnerable trying all these new things for me. We’ve been dating officially since our project ended and I just feel really relieved that I found my guy and I don’t have to settle. We challenge each others views a little, but we’re both open minded and willing to change our minds on things with new information. We both like going for walks, or trying out new restaurants nearby, and I’m always down to feel him up when no one is looking, or make him feel like a prince at home.

I just wanted to share, you don’t have to settle, it’s possible to find your perfect fit both personality wise and kink wise.

It finally happened, I was lucky enough to find a domme who is amazing. She is caring, empathetic, understanding and gorgeous. Everything I could have wanted.

I honestly didn’t think it would ever happen. Like many subs, I have been searching for a connection with a domme for a very long time but with no luck. Yes, I can pay for someone to domme me but it just isn’t the same. Having someone who wants me to be their submissive is exhilarating. I look forward to any and all interactions with her. We both lead busy lives and there is a slight time difference but I wouldn’t change any of it for anyone else. My heart skips a beat when I know she has messaged me or wants to call me, it has made the years of searching for a domme worth it.

Fellow subs, patience is the key. And I don’t mean, wait and it will happen to you. What I mean is if and when you start a conversation with a domme, talk to them about everyday things. Find out who they are as a person first, what’s their favourite book/film. What music do they like. What do they do for work. Connect with them and they will connect with you. Obviously I love the kinky things I get to talk about with my domme but I also really enjoy talking to her about her life and telling her about mine. Don’t think that every interaction is going to be kinky. Sometimes we just message each other to talk or get something off our chests.

I feel that I have my domme now but more importantly…..I have found a good friend.

Throughout my journey in the Kink/BDSM, I've had the privilege of observing a variety of relationships—some thriving, others struggling. Through my own experiences and conversations with fellow members, I noticed common threads that seemed to contribute to successful dynamics.

What I found was that clear communication, trust, and a willingness to explore gradually were essential components. This inspired me to create the GROWTH framework. It’s a way to distill these insights into something that others can use as a guide in their own journeys, whether they’re navigating in-person connections or long-distance relationships.

This framework reflects what I’ve learned and observed, and I hope it can help others cultivate meaningful and fulfilling connections in their own experiences.

1. Grounding (Knowing)

• Self-Discovery: Start by reflecting on your own desires and limits. Write down what you want from a Dominant/submissive relationship. Consider questions like:
• What are my fantasies?
• What does submission or dominance mean to me?
• What are my hard and soft limits?
• Identifying the Right Person:
• Look for partners who express similar interests and values. This can be done through online platforms, community events, or social groups focused on BDSM.

2. Relaxation (Allowing to Be Open)

• Creating an Open Dialogue: Initiate conversations with potential partners about their experiences, desires, and boundaries. Share your own reflections to establish mutual understanding.
• Building Trust: Take your time getting comfortable with each other. Engage in low-pressure activities together, like casual meet-ups or discussions about interests outside of BDSM, to foster connection.

3. Openness (Patience and Enjoying the Journey)

• Taking it Slow: Once you’ve identified a potential partner, agree to take your time. Discuss starting with lighter dynamics or role-playing scenarios to gauge compatibility and comfort.
• Mindfulness Together: Engage in activities that promote mindfulness, such as meditative practices or shared hobbies, to strengthen your connection and enhance emotional intimacy.

4. Watchfulness (Vetting People and Ensuring Right Intentions)

• Conducting Background Checks: Before fully committing, observe how potential partners interact in different contexts. Pay attention to their communication style and how they respect boundaries.
• Discussing Intentions: Have candid conversations about each other’s motivations for exploring this dynamic. Ensure that both partners have aligned goals, whether it’s emotional connection, physical exploration, or both.

5. Trust (Feeling Safe and Establishing Trust)

• Establish Safety Protocols: Agree on boundaries and safe words. Discuss aftercare needs and the importance of checking in before, during, and after sessions.
• Building Reliability: Focus on consistency in your interactions. Show that you can be relied upon to honor agreements and support each other’s needs, reinforcing the foundation of trust.

6. Harmony (Starting Up Slow and Ramping Up Slowly)

• Gradual Exploration: Begin your dynamic with light play, such as light bondage or playful teasing, and gradually increase intensity based on mutual comfort. This can involve:
• Testing boundaries with new activities.
• Asking for feedback after each experience to ensure both partners are enjoying the journey.
• Continuous Check-Ins: Maintain open communication throughout the process. Regularly assess how each person feels about the dynamic, adjusting as necessary to ensure both partners feel valued and respected.

Conclusion: Embarking on the Journey

By using the GROWTH framework, you can effectively identify the right partner and navigate the complexities of a Dominant/submissive relationship. This structured approach encourages self-awareness, open communication, and gradual exploration, fostering a deep connection built on trust and mutual respect.

Practical Steps to Get Started:

Join Communities: Engage with local or online BDSM communities to meet potential partners who share similar interests.

Attend Workshops: Participate in workshops or events focused on BDSM education, safety, and communication.

Open Discussions: Start conversations with interested partners about desires and boundaries. Use these discussions to gauge compatibility.

Plan Gradual Experiences: Once you feel comfortable, plan initial play sessions that align with both partners’ desires, ensuring to check in afterward to discuss feelings and experiences.

By following this framework, you can embark on a fulfilling journey that respects both partners' needs and fosters a powerful connection within the dynamic.

I keep finding myself in situations with subs who just want to get off. I live in a small town with little to no kink scene, so I’m almost exclusively doing femdom online. Most of the subs I encounter talk about wanting something serious/ long term (I make it known that I’m interested in a long term FLR), but they disappear after a task or session (not to be confused with PNC or sub drop. A lot of them are just horny and will tell you what you want to hear to get off). It’s almost worse than vanilla dating and all of us singles know what a hellscape that is right now.

It’s hard not to take it personally. When it’s happened more than once, you start thinking you’re the problem because you’re the common denominator. I’m not perfect, but I find myself going above and beyond to learn about a potential partner, create a safe space for them, show interest and affection all with the hope of developing the connection I’m seeking. It’s just never reciprocated. I see posts & comments from subs all the time about how much they love and care for their domme and how genuine the relationship is, so I know what I want it out there. Maybe it’s just not be out there for me.

Alright, rant over 🙃

I'm a Domme and my husband is my sub, I've been on a recent high with him being my toilet slave. I have him kneel and clean the piss of my ass with his tongue. I love that rush of ownership.

We dont do scat.

I was wondering if any Dommes and subs do this i'm looking for way to make it fun.

Any feedback is appreciated.

Have you been wanting to share a rant, rave, point of view or excited gush but you don't feel it's worth starting a new thread? Tell us what's up on What's Up Weekly! Did you meet someone special? Had an amazing scene? Had a total clusterfuck of a scene? Is something bothering you? Have you been shopping? Did you learn something cool? Did you read something that got you thinking? Did you read something that got you raging?

A new week's starting. Let it all hang out.

Me and my pals built together three mostly Safe For Work, mixed and inclusive subreddit communities for everything centered on adult women and gender variant people after our totally private and inclusive group chat room grew so big that we had to build a subreddit community.

We currently have more than 1600 member users and more than 195 posts with image descriptions accessible for visually impaired people added to the large collection of diverse content growing with new additions almost daily in our subreddit community called r/GalsAndPals that we built because of popular demand.

r/GalsAndPals is as a mostly Safe For Work and inclusive safe space built for everything centered on adult people who at least partly somehow identify with unconventional womanhood, including top, verse, dominant, switchy, gentlewomanly, girlboss, punky, tomboyish, futchy, butchy, ursine, crossdressing, androgynous, intersex, altersex, transy, transbianish, genderfluid, and genderqueer woman-ish people, but anyone is welcome to post here as long as they are respectful pals to the gals and request mod permission.

We currently also have more than 220 member users and more than 35 posts with image descriptions accessible for visually impaired people added to the large collection of diverse content growing with new additions almost daily in our subreddit community called r/DollsAndPals that we also built because of popular demand.

r/DollsAndPals is as a mostly Safe For Work and inclusive safe space built for everything centered on adult people who at least partly somehow identify with conventional womanhood, including bottom, verse, subby, switchy, housewifey, ladylike, femme, futchy, androgynous, intersex, altersex, transy, transbianish, genderfluid, and genderqueer woman-ish people, but anyone is welcome to post here as long as they are respectful pals to the dolls and request mod permission.

We also currently have more than 360 member users and more than 160 posts with image descriptions accessible for visually impaired people added to the large collection of diverse content growing with new additions almost daily in our subreddit community called r/GuysAndPals that we also built because of popular demand.

r/GuysAndPals is a mostly Safe For Work and inclusive safe space built for everything centered on adult people who at least partly somehow identify with unconventional manhood, including bottom, verse, subby, switchy, malewifey, househusband, twinkish, softboyish, femboyish, ladylike, crossdressing, androgynous, intersex, altersex, transy, transbianish, genderfluid, and genderqueer man-ish people, but anyone is welcome to post here as long as they are respectful pals to the guys and request mod permission.

We do have some basic respect safety expectations as guidelines written in the rules page section of our subreddit communities to help sustain the health of our groups as welcoming, accessible, inclusive, diverse, mixed and shared safer spaces free of judgement and harm that you should read.

We are inclusive of transy, transbianish, transfeminine, transandrogynous, transmasculine, detrans, retrans, genderfluid, and genderqueer people in all three of our subreddit communities.

Anyone is welcome to be in our community subreddits and contribute posting, but ONLY AS LONG AS they are RESPECTFUL WITH EVERYONE AND HAVE already had a sent MOD PERMISSION REQUEST APPROVED, because our subreddits have changed status from being totally private communities to being a somewhat restricted communities.

Our subreddits are only currently temporarily somewhat restricted for being in an experimental early development stage until becoming more accessible, public and welcoming after a time when we are more prepared enough to deal with more diverse types of visitors having access to our place.

If you may be feeling interested in joining, just drop a comment here below or send a moderator mail message to get permission granted to be able to post in one or all of our subreddits or if you want support to create another group.

Also make sure to check out our long, creative, diverse and inclusive lists of silly and cute user flairs and post sections, especially the "Transcribed" and "User Introductions" post sections, to familiarize yourself with examples of how and what content is posted in our communities.

Sharing is caring, because sharing new content like posts and comments in and out of our subreddits is the bare minimum enough to support our spaces living and thriving, so feel free to share our content out there to invite your adult lovers, friends, partners and acquaintances to join our subreddit communities.

The moderation is always open to answering questions and clearing doubts.

No need to be shy as we do not bite.

So im 19m, a sub, and have been trying to get into the femdom community for a while now. Ive tried online dating sites and I've tried here on reddit but either I don't get a response or I don't feel safe enough to engage with the person on the other end (essentially it feels like a scam). I feel like I'm being respectful, honest and open and, don't get me wrong, I understand I'm not owed a response by any means. So, I'm more so asking how I can find people and what I should be doing as a beginner. I've engaged in my kinks by myself but I really want to step it up. I'm currently a college student with roomates which doesn't necessarily help the situation because I'm not as flexible.

My thought is that maybe I'm just heading into this with the wrong attitude but I don't know. Any criticisms, support or advice would be greatly appreciated and I'm happy to answer any questions.

I’m curious about the psychological aspects of submission. For those of you who have found yourselves on your knees, what goes through your mind while you wait for your Domme’s next command? Is it a mix of excitement, anxiety, or something else entirely? I find it incredibly intoxicating to think about how the anticipation can heighten every sensation.

I'm getting a bit frustrated with online subs from this pov. Sometimes trying to extract their dos and don'ts feels as difficult as pulling teeth. Recently I had an online session that went quite well (or so I thought) until the end when he used his safeword, broke down, and began victimizing himself over my "harsh treatment". I asked him why he failed to mentioned a certain limit at the beginning when we had the boundry talk and he said he hadn't thought about it. I asked him why he hadn't used his safeword earlier and said he just wanted to please me. This is the kind of thing I've never had to experience in person with a sub, but for some reason it's not too uncommon for it to occur to me online. Subs - state your damn limits! I'm not a mind-reading witch. Dommes - how do you make peace with these kind of interactions?

There is a lot of talk around name calling subs - “beta loser”, “beta cuck” or whatever.

I like my wife to verbally humiliate me for being a bad boy who gets easily excited when he sees other women. It’s a game we play. But when the act is done it’s done. Those words do nothing to me after. And I don’t mind being denied but do need a release in the end.

So how does dom-sub and respect play out. I pro-dommed once and she went all out with verbal. Taking of castration and all. It was not pre-negotiated. I did not mind it. But I did not enjoy it. The reason for that was not so much the content but I have no means of knowing how much she cared about me.

So the main question - role playing humiliation is one thing. Where are the lines drawn. Yeah we say we agreed on them. But do people get carried away. What do I know the domme does not have unresolved daddy or mommy issues that are being taken out on me.

Or how does any domme know that the sub does not have the same issues where they unhealthily seek humiliation as a means of coping with trauma.

I can imagine anything is on the table if there is deep bonding between a sub and a domme. But without it, it seems always risky.

Help I can't remember the name of the books I saw, I saw it on kindle though I will read it later but it's gone and I can't remember anything other than the summary The summary goes like this a man was abducted by beautiful allien girls who want his seed, and the man was give them, then they realise he is special and take him to their planet and the man was happy to go

At that I was searching for femdom books That all the information I could remember.

So I'm a trans man and I have large breasts. My submissive, a trans woman, wants to be able to touch my boobs, cum on them, lick them, hold them, suck on them, etc.

The thought alone makes me uncomfortable BUT then when I think about turning it into a situation where I have control over what she does, it makes me feel more comfortable.

I'm very inexperienced as a Dom or even in any sexual setting (I'm a virgin). So I wanted advice on how to make this uncomfortable situation more comfortable for me as a dom? Like maybe have her lick up the cum (since she made the mess, she has to clean it up). Or tell her where to lick or kiss me.... I need help on how to display control/dominance in this situation.

Thank you!

I'm a domme and I have experience. The longest sub I had was for 2 years. Recently have been trying to get back into it but every sub is either really shy and doesn't show their face, or they lie about wanting long term and use me to get off then ghost. Either I get dms saying "mommy please make me cum" followed by a dick pic or just random disrespectful old men. I'm trying to find a nice long term sub but no luck