Hey guys, I'm into chastity and have tried various cages, but am unfortunately unable to find one I can stand sleeping with. I've got 1,5 testicles (the second one didn't drop completely) and the ball-trap mechanism gets painful. It works during daytime, but i can't sleep through the night.

I'm kinda hoping to find an alternative contraption I could use during the night to reduce the temptation for me and my domme to play instead of sleep. She called it a nightcap which I guess is cute. Anyone have any ideas?

It doesn't have to be secure in any shape, the honor system prevails. Just reduce my sensitivity or be a reminder/"stop", increased hassle to have sex or something during the night?

I’m pretty new to all this femdom and things thou I know how it works, so I have been really feeling so low lately (maybe few years since I stopped marijuana) I have so much goals to do this and that in my life to become a better person overall.. and idk why I could not or ever just lock in on my work, I’m soo lost in the lust and thoughts I have day to day, I often find myself scrolling on nsfw sides of internet without even knowing, .. it’s so frustrating to be like this..
so recently I found a domme online, and she would ask me to do crazy things, and I does everythinh without even thinking about the consequences.. it was so hot and good.. but now she’s gone as she realised I’m not much of a really rich Sd as she hoped to be, but I wasn’t that bad… anyways so I have this idea on having a domme which can help me become better, is there someone really to guide me through this! Or where can I find potential people like this? I really want to try this out. Even if the disciple would be artificial, it’s still disciple and it can work right!

Talking mainly about online spaces here. Note this isn't about any specific or recent post made, some were made weeks/months/years ago in multiple different subreddits.

I've been lurking this subreddit and others relating to femdom for a few weeks now (no I'm not a newbie to kink, just the discussion spaces). Naturally being interested in how conversations about particular kinks go I search up terms that relate to my own interests. What I've come to find is many, not every, but many of the posts claim the vast majority of sissies and feminization enjoyers are engaging in clear, plain as day misogyny. No doubt that happens and it would be silly to say that some sissies aren't doing this whether consciously or not.

I figured commenters were speaking from personal experience with sissies they had talked to or played with, and maybe they were there's no way for me to know this unless they say as much in their posts or comments. But I couldn't believe some of the glaring kink-shame posts masquerading as "hot takes" backed up by lots of support from subs as well as fellow dommes in the replies. Some even started out well enough with mentioning how they're personally not into sissies, but then usually it delves into the real unfiltered thoughts.

"sissification at its core is about men thinking being a woman or dressing like one is humiliating, it's an inherently problematic kink and I'll never engage even on friendly terms with sissies"

That's the CliffsNotes of many posts that stood out. Again there might be some truth to that for some sissies, but we're talking about an entire group here aren't we? Is this how we're supposed to operate together in these spaces? Especially spaces that demand as a community rule to not kink-shame? I get we all define things the way we like and we're entitled to our own opinions but there comes a point where an ostensibly well intended post crosses a line into kink-shaming and kink group assassination. I have to say these posts are the definition of discouraging, and hurtful for those that have zero ill-will towards women and who might want to engage in a community and express exactly who they are and what they're into. Yes I understand sissification and feminization are complex, that's a point towards the idea that not all sissies have incel-ly weirdo ideas. How one sissy feels about something doesn't mean another will feel the same way, right?

Basically I think it's safe to say there could be some problematic things about how some go about it, but might it not be best to let the ones who engage in sissification speak for themselves before we cast them all down as problematic woman-haters and malign their kink? Might go towards spreading some goodwill towards the ones who understand and love femininity as best as they can, but are still absolutely terrified and feel massive amounts of societal pressure, guilt and shame and maybe don't have a lot of kink friends to talk to. And if you're like me and think "Hmm what do people think about my kink?" then unfortunately you read though the entirety of a few "Can we really talk about sissies for real this time?" threads and wonder if you even belong here or if you should bother.

Unfair characterizations aren't only hurtful, they can be incredibly damaging and dehumanizing and have the potential to drive people away from what SHOULD be safe-spaces, and back into isolation where most are literally trying to come out from and are being told they need to go back to and think about themselves a little bit more. I don't know the goal here... "come back when you're reformed" I guess? Very discouraging. I would like to hear some thoughts and experiences from anyone who has ran across similar claims involving this topic, and anyone who already has an opinion on sissies and how they fit into kink world, and if this judgement is warranted.

My gf isnt a domme from nature, it was rather my iniciative. I need some tips on how to let her know in a subtle way that I want her to be more cruel and strict.

My husband and I are getting into Femdom. I wanna know all the things you do that turn your person on? Tips? Things to say or do? How do you initiate it? What do you wear? I feel like I’m just basic about it. I wear dark makeup and black clothes and I have a few toys like a feather, a whip ( small play one) , cuffs, vibrators, penis cage, plugs. But also give me idea on how to use these things in different ways. Different punishments, ANYTHING! lol

hi! femdom here, i’ve got a sub that’s really into me being her goddess, and wants to really play into the religious/worship aspects of it. i’m very curious to hear about others with similar dynamics? i’m trying to brainstorm rituals and things i could have her do, currently she’s praying to my holes twice a day and devoting each orgasm to me. my only worship-specific pet name for her right now is my devotee, but i’m not sure if there’s better ones i haven’t thought of. would love to discuss this topic! thanks for reading

So, I just learned about 2D Domming, which I think is fascinating and a lot of fun. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I mean a femdom persona through an illustrated character. Kind of like the music band Gorillaz!

Are there communities for this? Is it a furry thing?

Would love some more examples or resources.

I’ve been obsessed with femdom and looking for a domme these past days. I don’t think it’s very healthy. I’ve been looking at my phone like crazy even at work for potential dommes to respond.

I know the title is harsh but hear me out. I am a very nurturing gentle type domme, I wanna hear about your day and make sure you take care of yourself and encourage you all while controlling many of the aspects of your life. I am also a switch so I have been a sub many times before and now I am realizing that in my experience the dynamics are so sub centered. I figured with femdom it would imply now we are going to focus on me more and the conversations will be at least split evenly between learning about you and learning about me but it's not the case and I'm feeling neglected a bit. Is that wrong of me? I do really want to hear what my sub has to share but I wish they would care about my day too, ask more about my history wanna learn about me. Even when I share information it feels like they take it as an invitation to one up me and share something vaguely similar so I can talk up them. Is this normal? I feel like I have been this type of sub admittedly where I just want to show my some everything all the time and now I feel bad for that. Has anyone else felt this way? How do you address it without coming across as "hey shut up and listen to me"

Sorry for the rant

Join me for a virtual Happy Hour about an hour from now (5PM PT/8PM ET)

Bring your pegging questions and your favorite drink!

Register: https://www.theartofpegging.com/upcoming-webinars

I live in a big city, so there's a wider net when it comes to meeting people in the scene. I've been using fetlife so far.

I've had some less than impressive experiences with being a domme. From an older gent looking to be a slave but using our first meeting as an opportunity to fondle me and try to push my boundaries with regards to kinks far outside my scope of comfort, to a sub who stated a want for a FLR but ultimately ghosted after real-life play.

Very disappointing situation, not quite sure what I could do to make things better?

Hey folx! I will be playing with someone soon who is into degradation, mostly surrounding his masturbation habits. I don’t have much experience with degradation and would like to explore it. I’m just not sure how to tie it into his inability to control his own behavior. He wants disciplined for it too

Any advice would be greatly appreciated !

To my knowledge sub drop is basically the emotional problems post scene from lack of attention or affection. But what is the term for a subs mental state from his Domme constantly making unkept promises, or ignoring everything FLR related completely, and making her sub afraid to engage the subject because most of the time she responds negatively or I’m trying to manipulate her. My instinct tells me this is a dead subject and to have the funeral already. But then she’ll do something over the top for me. Like informing me she’s had a tailored sissy maid dress made for me, which is something I’ve imagined wearing for many years, this blew my mind when she told me… and I was patiently waiting for that day to come, that was 8 months ago and I’m still waiting patiently. If it’s a dead issue in her mind why do things like that, not to mention the amount of money she spent??

My pet was talking about some delicious food experiments he'd done in the kitchen today and comparing the difference between eggplant and chicken parmesan. Eggplant just behaves. It's crispy on the outside, soft on the inside. Never really gets out of line. It's there if you need it. It's good. But it's just not as good as chicken. Chicken you have to pound all to hell to get the right thickness, and cook it just right to get the right juiciness, but God is it worth it.

So what do you think? Are you eggplant, or chicken? 😂

i’d appreciate to know about this specially from other sub men here.. as a sub guy (26M), who lives within a conservative community, this have affected me massively specifically in the dating world, bc sub men are viewed as weak, non providers (i’m an intern physician who’s ultimate love language is actually providing and pleasing my partners when they’re compatible with me), or inferior in the view of society..

all my dating experiences ended up not going well either bc my S/O finding out that i’m a sub was a turnoff for them or some partners who pretended to act like a domme only to change their minds later on stating they’re subs… i have tried at some point to refunction my brain religiously to start being a switch (bc i always put my partner’s pleasure first as a sub before mine and hate being on the kink dispenser side),, but i always meet this with rejection of them not being able to do so bc it’s viewed as weird (this also kept feeding my brain by some of the toxic views of redbill community who keeps saying all women are subs deep down and are just acting this way bc they bring out the feminine energy in a guy they can’t see doming them which i still think is an utter bs)..

i have lost my confidence, went through depression, still think that i’d actually end up lonely or just basically start paying pro dommes at some point for a short time services and end up tearing with her cuddling me silently but i don’t want that, i still have feelings & i don’t want to enjoy short term pleasures but share all my life with someone and ended up figuring out maybe if i actually could leave my kinks for good and just be vanilla it’d help but im still failing at it & i feel like my sexuality will have bigger impact on my journey & now every time i nearly sob when i close my eyes and moan trying to touch myself thinking about a woman having her way with me..

i have been approached by many good women too when i was in college but i turned it down just bc i don’t want us to live like this in an incompatible way for both of us but it’s just frustrating for me at this point.. i hate that many people think that sub men are just like doormats you use whenever you like and they are not a lifetime worthy partners…

i’m sorry for ranting but i couldn’t find anywhere else to share this..

thank you in advance everyone & i’d appreciate the advices… xx

Last week I found a domme who was willing to accept me for who I was with all my quirks and whimsey. We have been firing on cylinders, already unlocking each others kinks (some of which are brand new to both of us). It's been absolutely incredible.

Then. After a week of intense back and forth. She disappeared yesterday. No replying to my messages. Pure breeze. I initially thought this was down to IRL commitments, which I totally get. But. She was replying to people on her Reddit posts. A few hours later, she blocked me on Reddit (if you've ever been blocked it sucks, as it shows that person still in the wild, but with the "wow, such empty" comment. Which is nonsense)

I was crushed. After such incredible chemistry I couldn't believe it.

After stewing for several hours I considered firing up my SFW account to reach out to ask what I had done wrong. But I didn't want to come across as a creep. She had made her decision to move on. Even though I was going down the corridors of my mind to workout what I had done to push her away.

'Screw it' I thought 'I'm gonna do it'. I sent her a message saying "Good morning" and waited for her to reply. About 30 mins later she came back. I then opened the floodgates of considered, mature emotion, revealing it was me and about how I was left to feel and how I was hurt and.... "Wait. I thought you had ghosted me!?" Came her reply.

As it transpired my client of our messaging platform crashed and she didn't get any of the dozen messages I sent. She was upset so blocked me on Reddit as a way to protect herself thinking I had gone back to another domme who had recently thrown me away. Which I totally understand. She felt I had left her and as a result wanted to mentally close that avenue down after such an intense period together.

I'm so happy we found each other and I couldn't be more excited about our future together!

So a few days ago I made a post on here about how my gf seemed to naturally pick up on my interest in femdom and submission to some extent without me even having to tell her directly, and how exciting that was for me.

Well we had another couple of awesome sex sessions this weekend that, among other things, included her asking me what it’s like to be “pleasured by a Goddess,” telling me she is only pleasuring me because I’ve been such a “good boy” but if I was a “bad boy” she would punish me, teasing me to the edge of discomfort (including using her nails on me) and controlling when I was allowed to cum, and telling me I am lucky her “services are free” so she could go as long as she wants.

Needless to say, it wasn’t very subtle anymore, so afterwards I had a pretty frank conversation with her in which I expressed my incredulity and amazement at her, saying she seems like a total natural and pro, and asking her where all this came from. She said she wasn’t entirely sure, just said and did what felt right in the moment, but admitted she had for a very long time fantasized about dominance but thought it was “weird” so suppressed it. Didn’t help that every man she was with before was vanilla to an extreme — bland missionary and that’s about it. But apparently even before we started testing the waters with more outright D/s stuff, she could already tell that I had the potential to be a very different kind of lover, and it ignited in her a sex drive she had never had before. Apparently I was the first man to ever make her cum with oral alone and I did it on the first try and later several times in one day. Also the first man to ever make her cum during penetration or any kind of sex without a vibe. And the first she ever felt into enough to take the lead and make the kind of dominant moves she did at all.

Needless to say, this was very inspiring to my confidence, and made me feel incredibly good that I could boost her own confidence and bring out this long dormant side to her sexuality. I let her know as much, and also let her know that my experience largely paralleled hers as I never thought I would experience anything like this either and for a very long time suppressed my submissive side out of shame and stigma. But she told me to absolutely not worry about that, that she is thrilled our desires match so uncannily well (we even seem to like to switch to just the right degree for each other, but acknowledged our main roles are clear), and that she is just relieved she has found a man who actually gets her and her needs, as she had worried she would never enjoy sex again after bad past experiences. She also told me that it doesn’t matter what anyone else does, that sex is extremely personal and private and intimate between just us.

Now the only thing left to worry about if I strain myself is the possibility that we could get carried away as we start to explore kinks and it could affect us negatively. But we seem so in tune with each other I highly doubt that, and mostly I am just really excited. I can hardly believe this is really happening. It almost seems suspicious, too good to be true somehow. But it’s not. I seem to have met my match, and it goes way beyond sex, but to say I am happy about this discovery of seemingly perfect compatibility is an understatement. It’s surreal.

So, there is hope out there! Does anyone else have any similar experiences or any advice as we embark on this journey together exploring each other and ourselves?

I was approached by a domme a few months ago who was the first to suggest the idea of playing with the much dreaded post-nut clarity.

I know a lot of my fellow subs lose all interest in subbing, and even sex, after cumming. I’m curious if anyone else has tried playing with the shame that a lot of subs experience.

It took me a while to work through it but I’ve managed to learn to embrace my submission even after cumming. It can take a level of self-discipline and control but it’s a lot of fun! And I know how much a domme appreciates a sub that pushes through just for her

I've always gone with pretty stock standard pet names for my wife but as our relationship has started to incorporate more and more femdom they don't seem appropriate anymore. I snuggled into her in bed last night and gave her a cuddle before going to sleep and said good night "sweetheart" she told me sweetheart doesn't feel right to her and I need to think of something else.

You've got your classics, mistress, goddess ECT which are awesome but I'm trying to think of something that gives a wink to the new hierarchy but you could let it slip out in front of the kids or friends without raising too much of an eyebrow. Any suggestions would be most welcome. Thanks again

Hi! My lady has required that every time I complete a chore I submit a picture to her. But she wants it to be a submissive or sexy picture that also shows I've done the chore.

Im a big guy and old. I... have no idea what kind of pictures would do that and appeal to her and she specifically won't tell me. So I come to you all, hoping for help. Please?

Any suggestions for how to do sexy or subby pics for laundry, paying bills, dishes, cleaning bedrooms, taking out trash, cleaning kitchen, cleaning a basement, vacuuming, bathrooms, etc? Posing, attire, angle, etc?

Edit: the title was supposed to be appealing to, not appeasing. Oops.

Hi r/femdomCommunity,

I'm new to your beautiful community, however I am not new to this lifestyle, yet forever learning, and yearning to be better.

I've a wonderful keyholder, I owe so much to her, and I'd like to show my appreciation by celebrating our milestone.

I've a few ideas, but I am indecisive and I'd appreciate your suggestions, and your guidance to help put together a wonderful celebration of our milestone 🫶

Some of my ideas:

Dinner Date: Taking her out for a lovely dinner, at a nice restaurant

Dinner @ Home: I'm thinking candle lit dinner, served by me, and provide a full fancy restaurant experience at home

Some gift ideas I've got:

Treats & Care Hamper: I'd put together a hamper for her, that's got some some self care items, and some treats

Custom Key Pendant: One of em sold on Etsy or something of the sort, which functions as key and looks incredibly gorgeous

Looking to get a better and bigger Bluetooth Butt plug. Drop your suggestions below please.

Hi all.

I wonder how you perceive someone who tries to start a conversation with you and is obviously not a native English speaker ? Are spelling and grammar mistakes a dealbreaker to you ?

I’m from Europe, and in my country having a proper writing is seen as a sign of good education and this can actually be a deal breaker in dating apps for example, and I know it’s something important to me as well. However for me it’s different when I chat in my own language with a foreigner, and I’m aware that some clumsy terms are normal and it don’t bother me to clarify what they mean if necessary.

I voluntarily don’t use any translation tool except for the phone corrector while writing this so you can judge by yourself. I’m worried that my English skills might be a serious disadvantage when trying to answer to personal from dommes on Reddit or when I sometimes get to interact with them. And I’m only talking here about writing skills, I’m very embarrassed about my terrible accent when I talk to natives speakers. Also sometimes slang can be hard to understand, fortunately google helps most of the times !

Of course I’m trying to improve it everyday, school wasn’t very helpful back in my days so Netflix and a few travel buddies were my best teachers haha.

So what do you think ? Am I doomed? Thank you for reading !

I (29F) am meeting my sub (27M) for the first time around the beginning of December. He is visiting me for my birthday!

I'm new to femdom in person, and I want to take the opportunity to have some kinky fun, but pace ourselves. My lack of experience with in-person femdom play is making me nervous and freeze up creatively.

So, I wanted to see if anyone here would share some ideas for simple newbie scenes (for in private), and/or bite-sized play (for casual moments).

For context, he'll be here the weekend before my birthday, staying very near my place. We'll take advantage of that weekend, and maybe a little after I get off work during the week, to acclimate to each other. Then, that Thursday we planned a nice dinner, and then we'll be frolicking around downtown throughout my birthday weekend.

Some ideas I had:

• Have him wear an anal plug while I give him a personal tour of a beloved historic hotel of mine
• Make him change into a pair of sexy panties in the restroom at dinner and give me his underwear discreetly
• I order for us at dinner for a more subtle power gap enforcement
• A sensation play scene where he's tied up and I can tease him and use a riding crop and flogger at the hotel room
• A boot/heel worship scene that leads to body worship

But I'd like some more ideas for:

• Out at dinner
• On a hike
• During a movie (in theaters or at home)
• Out and about walking / driving (I'm driving)
• And at the hotel room / AirBnb

  • He booked a beautiful historic hotel room, I'd like to have a fabulous yet simple scene.

I just want a bunch of ideas in my back pocket to use as I see fit. My creative juices are not juicing right now! Any help is much appreciated <3

I will keep it brief.

This girl I am talking to on Hinge was telling me how I should try raw mushrooms with hot-sweet sauce. I switched to my brat mode and said how I have a prejudice against mushrooms. She says that I should definitely consider her recommendation. I replied instantly saying that I will listen to her, and that I am obedient and trainable.

She replies and I will quote her word to word now:

Reply 1: I will definitely be following up tomorrow to see if you followed thru with the task.

Reply 2: Trainable you say? ;)

How should I interpret these messages? I know the context is vague, but should I showcase my submissive side to her? I don’t want to freak her out, neither do I want to jeopardise on anything Vanilla between us because she is a well-educated person and definitely my kind of academically smart.

I will remove this message if it doesn’t go with the community’s policies.

Thanks in advance.

I knew about my desires from a young age, but always worried it would be hard to find someone. My social media feeds are full of trad wife content, and as a young girl who wants the high powered career, I felt like most people would be pushed away and I was alone in my desires for a submissive guy. I didn’t want to find someone on a dating app, and I work 14 hour days most of the week.What chance was there for me? I’m fairly attractive, but between my work life, socially awkward personality and kinks, it felt impossible.

Id had a few submissive hookups, but nothing I ever wanted a relationship from, for various reasons. I’ve had a few submissive boyfriends, but it always felt like I was settling, but what were the odds of finding someone who was submissive and a better compatibility fit?

I met someone through work about about 2 years ago, where we were working on a project 1 on 1 for a while, but he would be gone in 6 months. There was a bit of an age gap, and he definitely had more traditional views, but we could talk for hours.

I figured given the age gap and the fact that we had a few things we didn’t see eye to eye on, it would be a fun few months.

But he melted my heart and turned out to be the perfect sub. He had never had a relationship where he was submissive before, and struggled with being submissive/ masculine a lot, especially at first. It was sexy for me, holding his hand and giving him all his firsts. I’ll refer to him as my little virgin, and he gets so brushy when I say that.

He’s started requesting a few things too he wanted to try which was hot, and reassured me he was feeling more comfortable in being submissive. He doesn’t have my crazy schedule, which means I come home to tasty food and a clean house which feels like a dream.

He’s independent, but knows how to be my needy slut, and he’s been so brave and vulnerable trying all these new things for me. We’ve been dating officially since our project ended and I just feel really relieved that I found my guy and I don’t have to settle. We challenge each others views a little, but we’re both open minded and willing to change our minds on things with new information. We both like going for walks, or trying out new restaurants nearby, and I’m always down to feel him up when no one is looking, or make him feel like a prince at home.

I just wanted to share, you don’t have to settle, it’s possible to find your perfect fit both personality wise and kink wise.

It finally happened, I was lucky enough to find a domme who is amazing. She is caring, empathetic, understanding and gorgeous. Everything I could have wanted.

I honestly didn’t think it would ever happen. Like many subs, I have been searching for a connection with a domme for a very long time but with no luck. Yes, I can pay for someone to domme me but it just isn’t the same. Having someone who wants me to be their submissive is exhilarating. I look forward to any and all interactions with her. We both lead busy lives and there is a slight time difference but I wouldn’t change any of it for anyone else. My heart skips a beat when I know she has messaged me or wants to call me, it has made the years of searching for a domme worth it.

Fellow subs, patience is the key. And I don’t mean, wait and it will happen to you. What I mean is if and when you start a conversation with a domme, talk to them about everyday things. Find out who they are as a person first, what’s their favourite book/film. What music do they like. What do they do for work. Connect with them and they will connect with you. Obviously I love the kinky things I get to talk about with my domme but I also really enjoy talking to her about her life and telling her about mine. Don’t think that every interaction is going to be kinky. Sometimes we just message each other to talk or get something off our chests.

I feel that I have my domme now but more importantly…..I have found a good friend.

Throughout my journey in the Kink/BDSM, I've had the privilege of observing a variety of relationships—some thriving, others struggling. Through my own experiences and conversations with fellow members, I noticed common threads that seemed to contribute to successful dynamics.

What I found was that clear communication, trust, and a willingness to explore gradually were essential components. This inspired me to create the GROWTH framework. It’s a way to distill these insights into something that others can use as a guide in their own journeys, whether they’re navigating in-person connections or long-distance relationships.

This framework reflects what I’ve learned and observed, and I hope it can help others cultivate meaningful and fulfilling connections in their own experiences.

1. Grounding (Knowing)

• Self-Discovery: Start by reflecting on your own desires and limits. Write down what you want from a Dominant/submissive relationship. Consider questions like:
• What are my fantasies?
• What does submission or dominance mean to me?
• What are my hard and soft limits?
• Identifying the Right Person:
• Look for partners who express similar interests and values. This can be done through online platforms, community events, or social groups focused on BDSM.

2. Relaxation (Allowing to Be Open)

• Creating an Open Dialogue: Initiate conversations with potential partners about their experiences, desires, and boundaries. Share your own reflections to establish mutual understanding.
• Building Trust: Take your time getting comfortable with each other. Engage in low-pressure activities together, like casual meet-ups or discussions about interests outside of BDSM, to foster connection.

3. Openness (Patience and Enjoying the Journey)

• Taking it Slow: Once you’ve identified a potential partner, agree to take your time. Discuss starting with lighter dynamics or role-playing scenarios to gauge compatibility and comfort.
• Mindfulness Together: Engage in activities that promote mindfulness, such as meditative practices or shared hobbies, to strengthen your connection and enhance emotional intimacy.

4. Watchfulness (Vetting People and Ensuring Right Intentions)

• Conducting Background Checks: Before fully committing, observe how potential partners interact in different contexts. Pay attention to their communication style and how they respect boundaries.
• Discussing Intentions: Have candid conversations about each other’s motivations for exploring this dynamic. Ensure that both partners have aligned goals, whether it’s emotional connection, physical exploration, or both.

5. Trust (Feeling Safe and Establishing Trust)

• Establish Safety Protocols: Agree on boundaries and safe words. Discuss aftercare needs and the importance of checking in before, during, and after sessions.
• Building Reliability: Focus on consistency in your interactions. Show that you can be relied upon to honor agreements and support each other’s needs, reinforcing the foundation of trust.

6. Harmony (Starting Up Slow and Ramping Up Slowly)

• Gradual Exploration: Begin your dynamic with light play, such as light bondage or playful teasing, and gradually increase intensity based on mutual comfort. This can involve:
• Testing boundaries with new activities.
• Asking for feedback after each experience to ensure both partners are enjoying the journey.
• Continuous Check-Ins: Maintain open communication throughout the process. Regularly assess how each person feels about the dynamic, adjusting as necessary to ensure both partners feel valued and respected.

Conclusion: Embarking on the Journey

By using the GROWTH framework, you can effectively identify the right partner and navigate the complexities of a Dominant/submissive relationship. This structured approach encourages self-awareness, open communication, and gradual exploration, fostering a deep connection built on trust and mutual respect.

Practical Steps to Get Started:

Join Communities: Engage with local or online BDSM communities to meet potential partners who share similar interests.

Attend Workshops: Participate in workshops or events focused on BDSM education, safety, and communication.

Open Discussions: Start conversations with interested partners about desires and boundaries. Use these discussions to gauge compatibility.

Plan Gradual Experiences: Once you feel comfortable, plan initial play sessions that align with both partners’ desires, ensuring to check in afterward to discuss feelings and experiences.

By following this framework, you can embark on a fulfilling journey that respects both partners' needs and fosters a powerful connection within the dynamic.

I keep finding myself in situations with subs who just want to get off. I live in a small town with little to no kink scene, so I’m almost exclusively doing femdom online. Most of the subs I encounter talk about wanting something serious/ long term (I make it known that I’m interested in a long term FLR), but they disappear after a task or session (not to be confused with PNC or sub drop. A lot of them are just horny and will tell you what you want to hear to get off). It’s almost worse than vanilla dating and all of us singles know what a hellscape that is right now.

It’s hard not to take it personally. When it’s happened more than once, you start thinking you’re the problem because you’re the common denominator. I’m not perfect, but I find myself going above and beyond to learn about a potential partner, create a safe space for them, show interest and affection all with the hope of developing the connection I’m seeking. It’s just never reciprocated. I see posts & comments from subs all the time about how much they love and care for their domme and how genuine the relationship is, so I know what I want it out there. Maybe it’s just not be out there for me.

Alright, rant over 🙃

I'm a Domme and my husband is my sub, I've been on a recent high with him being my toilet slave. I have him kneel and clean the piss of my ass with his tongue. I love that rush of ownership.

We dont do scat.

I was wondering if any Dommes and subs do this i'm looking for way to make it fun.

Any feedback is appreciated.