27 today 27 years and still feeling lost no goals ahead except one getting a job . What if I find it I know I will struggle to see who really am I ? I know I am a mom A good wife A hard working daughter A very fragile woman that shed a tear at every moment that feels heavy or sad

Even though I know I am dissatisfied about what I have done till now . I can’t find anything positive why ? Why a 27 woman needs validation?

So why am I more lost than ever do I give up and just exist? I remember that I had a fire where did it go ? What happened to me in my journey when did I lose myself?

To next year , I will find a job I will become strong I will find hobbies I will start to get to know myself I will validate myself I will commit to the gym I will not dwell about not having a social life I will finish my masters

I WILL BE PROUD OF ME

I write letters for people and send them. There are situations people sometimes find themselves in where they need to relay information to a person but don’t want to be attached to that information in any way, shape, or form. (For example, someone might know of a cheating spouse and have proof, but not want to involve themselves in the situation. I see this a lot, but there are plenty of other examples as well.)

When I write the letter, I will use either written-paper, card, or typed format. I will also include all of the information requested by the person who wants to send the letter, however, I will choose how to word the information. This is to be 100% certain that nothing is tied back to the person requesting the letter OR me. I do not disclose where I live (where the letter will likely be sent from) but the likelihood that I live in the same city you do is very slim.

All other details can be discussed. I am educated. I write well. I send the letter to the person requesting, prior to sending it, so they can proof read it and/or tweak it.

I pay for cards, materials, envelopes, postage, etc. but I charge $25 per letter for the time I spend working with the person to create the personalized letter, editing, and then making the final product.

If interested, shoot me a DM and we’ll go from there. Thanks!

Also! To mods- I’m unsure if this is type of post is allowed? If it is not, I apologize. I did look over the sub rules briefly before posting, so if I am in violation of something, I promise it is something I missed and is unintentional. Obviously, if i have broken a rule, feel free to delete this and please let me know so I don’t make the same mistake. This does have to do with writing letters, though, and I wasn’t sure where else to post?

Fuck you, you are a big fucking asshole who doesn't deserve to be here... i wish you all the bad things...

I've been living with my partner for over a year now. Our house is messy and our yard is overgrown, but we're building a life we love. My younger sibling is having the time of their life traveling for work. They're having a gender crisis, but they're happy to be going to pride festivals and making friends. The three of us are growing, learning, communicating, supporting each other, becoming a happy family. We've never felt more content, even in the midst of all the unrest in the world.

And you wouldn't care about any of that. Because I'm trans, because my sibling is gay, because my partner is pierced and tattooed. Because we have the "wrong" politics and the "wrong" religion. Because we find ways to accommodate each other's disabilities, both mental and physical, and to you that's "giving up."

My sibling doesn't even want to give you our address, and we've been at the new house for over a year. I don't think you'd even recognize me if you saw me in public, though. If the cane, the beard, and the brightly colored hair didn't throw you off, the smile certainly would.

I wish you cared that I'm happy now. I wish I thought it was worth trying to change your mind.

Sincerely, The family disappointment

I'm writing this on what would have been our anniversary, for it has taken me weeks to find the right words to say to you right now. Although a part of me is saddened, I look back on our time together with great fondness. I want to start by saying I wish we could have worked things out between us; I wish we could have done the counseling we needed. But I understand now, with time and space, that that would have never worked. I realize now that what we had ran its course.

I tried hard to connect deeper with you, but I know I never could have made that connection with the barriers you have in place. I get that you’ve been hurt and that your trauma has made it difficult for you to connect deeply with another person, but I've also realized through my own hurt and trauma that a more profound connection is what I need in a partner.

I also realize now that what we had toward the end wasn’t mutual love; you pushed me away. You left me alone fighting for this relationship. As you said, you prioritized everything else in your life over fixing ours, thus treating me and our relationship like an option. You shut down and didn’t want to include me in any of your decision-making or processing to the point where you just stopped trying to work on us. There was no communication, and from what you said, you found no real intimacy left in the end, to the point where there wasn’t anything left anymore. I fought for it; you didn’t.

But with all that said, I know that the laughter we shared, the love, the secrets, the ups and downs, the late nights, and groggy mornings, I know your feelings for me at one point were real. And I know you gave me what you could. I know you tried in your way.

But…I also know that while I was the one bending over backward to try and meet your needs, you didn’t love all of me like you said you did. You loved the parts of me that didn’t challenge you. You loved the parts of me that didn’t ask you to change or put in any more effort than you’d already decided you would. Because in your eyes, you’re already perfect. You’re satisfied with where you are and aren’t willing to compromise for anyone other than yourself. But when shit went down, and when things got difficult, you ran.

I worked hard on the things that weighed on us, and I showed you. You would throw in a few extra words or make some kind gestures here and there, and I ate it up. I know now; they meant nothing.

You say you were overwhelmed. Stressed. I know you were busy with work and job hunting, but I know I had done absolutely everything to make your life easier in those moments. But somehow, you were the one that was so willing to walk away?

Don’t even try to put this on me by saying you can’t be the partner I deserve when I had gone out of my way to communicate with you and ask you what I can help you with and how I could be a better partner to you because all that says to me is I was willing to put in the work, and you weren’t. It was always about what you wanted. What you wanted to eat, what you wanted to do, where you wanted to go.

I was desperate when you said, “I think we need to call this.” Devastated, like I knew I could be when I chose to fall in love again. I wish we’d just fought more. I would’ve done anything, I felt like I was losing my mind, and I got tunnel vision; I was in pain and grasping for anything. But when I closed my eyes and let myself breathe, let myself stop trying to fix everything myself, I realized that the outcome was the same. I also realized it’s not all my fault. I have no regrets about the effort I put in.

This was it for you.

I thought I’d be the one to change your mind. To convince you to stay at the cost of my self-respect and growth. I thought I’d keep fighting, and you’d see. But all of what you’ve got going on now? Keep it. You don’t want to share your burdens or stay vulnerable. You want to shut me out. I’m accepting it now.

Because I know you feel relieved now, you’re probably thinking of me sadly in some small way, but not enough to admit your part in all of this, just free and glad that you’re not responsible for me anymore, and embrace that. Take those big deep breaths of fresh, clean air, and keep running from your problems.

I know what I said about deserving better probably hurt you, but it came from a place of truth. I deserve better, and I deserved more than you could give. Because I know how much love I have to offer, and I know you would never have matched that. Thank you for helping me realize that.

Parts of me miss you, miss us, and miss our little family of three, but the parts that have hatred for you outshine those right now. I hate you for how you handled this. I hate that I haven’t heard a word from you. I hate that you seemingly don’t care. I hate that I gave you all of my love and lost the love in myself in that process. I hate that I miss you. I hate that you left me broken, abandoned, homeless, and alone. I hate that I fell in love with you knowing very well that you were incapable of love and emotionally unavailable. I hate that you ran away in fear. I hate that I still had more to give. I hate that I feel like a failure. I hate the manipulation and the gaslighting. I hate you for your addictions, for your trauma, and all of its impact on our relationship. I look back on it now and realize that it wasn’t any of my faults for its demise. It was doomed from the start.

But with all that hatred and longing, I am thankful. I’m grateful for what I was able to give in the relationship. I set out to find love, and I found that, and I shared it with all I had. I'm thankful for what this breakup has taught me, never to lose myself in love again. I'm grateful for the love you gave me, knowing it wasn't easy.

Now I must go and live my life free from you because I spent so much of our time together caring for you; I now need to spend time focusing on myself. This isn't a goodbye or a see you soon. This is what needs to happen for my healing.

Best wishes with your journey ahead,

T

I know that you meant well, bringing me halfway across the country to try to start my life over, with some grand designs about being a rescuer. I get it, I really do, but honestly mate, your execution left a lot to be desired. I tried, many times, explaining to you that there was a whole hell of a lot more going on than simply some 'out of work friend' living in an abandoned building; but you didn't listen.

You didn't help matters either. You wouldn't listen to what I was trying to tell you, and when things finally came to a head, rather than admitting that you were wrong, you turned your back on me. Friends for years, and then one day you said 'fuck it' to all of that.

You wonder why I sliced my arms up and ended up in a mental hospital? Look in a freaking mirror. You caused that to happen. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. When I needed help most, you weren't there. You had other things on your mind, and when I tried talking with you about the problem, you brushed it off as being nothing.

You don't know what it's like, always living in fear, fighting day to day through waves of anxiety attacks, and thoughts of jumping in front of a train, only to have the one person who said you could turn to them, ignore every attempt you make. I tried explaining it, as I understood it then, and you just blew me off. Told people that I didn't "want to work". No, I did. That wasn't the problem. The problem was I was going insane. Literally, and figuratively, and didn't have a single person I could trust to listen to me.

You are no friend of mine, no longer. Thanks to you, I spent three years sleeping in a city park. Three winters of waking up covered in snow. Three years of pure, unadulterated fear that someone was going to rob me, or kill me. Three years that you could have prevented if you had gotten your head out of your ass and actually listened like the friend you claimed to be.

I'm tired Sean. Tired of fighting, tired of sleeping on the ground, tired of always being in pain, and tired of always worrying that one day the anxiety will get the better of me and I might do something that I could regret. I hate you Sean. Hate you for what you did, and how you acted, and hate you for all the lies you told that I covered for you. I still think about you on a daily basis, and every night I pray that you would get to feel the pain, the fear, and the loss I have.

Maybe... just maybe... then I can finally have some peace.

Sincerely, your former friend, Me

Abusing me is not going to bring Su**e back, and it’s not going to change what really happened.

She was right about you, and so was I.

We didn’t deserve this.

I will always hate you for what you did.

The End.

Sincerely, R

I really can't say I understand why you would ever work this hard to protect and defend a person that surely won't be the one to bail you out of jail if you keep going down the path you're currently on.

I do understand the high you get from it, though. That doesn't make it the right thing to do. Listen to me – just because something feels good doesn't mean it's OK to keep doing. Stalking and harassing others, is not OK.

You're just being used and these people really won't care if something bad happens to you as a result of your actions. They won't own up to having been the one to push you into doing it and they won't bail you out of jail or sit there with you holding your hand when you end up in court. Trust me, I can say this with 100% certainty, they won't. They will let you fuck up your life and will go on to keep doing what they're doing. This is what people like them do for a living.

All you're getting out of this is a high. There are other ways to get this feeling without putting yourself in danger of becoming a criminal by protecting one. You have to trust me on this, and stop what you're doing before it's too late. You can have a better, normal life. But you have to take the first step and change direction now, before it's too late.

Please make the right choice.

Sincerely, R

One more thing, because I'm pretty sure you've been spinning all kinds of stories about me and you.

I never had any feelings for you, never wanted you in that way, or as a friend. I was just there to have a good time, like anywhere else in that place. Do you think I was in love and wanting to fuck every other person on there, too?

So, let's set the record straight. I have no feelings for you whatsoever and my husband has known about you and all of this since day 1. We openly think you're a monster douchebag.

We had no connection. We were nothing. The reality is you're just a desperate and deranged old man who won't leave me the fuck alone already.

Sincerely, R

I couldn't post this where I wanted to, so I will post it here. I wanted to confess something.

That gift card I sent you for Christmas... it was regifted. I had gotten it at a party years ago, and it had been lying around my house unspent, so I gave it to you, knowing you hated movies.

I didn't think you were worth more than the trash laying around my home at the time, and boy was I right all along about you. Glad I never really gave you more than what you were worth.

Whew. That's been there a long time now, feels good to confess.

Sincerely, R

Some of you are probably here to keep the flames going. I'm sure it's been a real day-brightener for you to spend your days terrorizing someone you don't know, for whatever your reasons may be, whether it was for entertainment or to protect someone you thought was worth protecting.

To these people, I'm sorry to say, there's not a lot of hope for you. You will probably struggle with this unpleasant side of you forever, so don't be surprised if and when you end up all alone someday.

Then there's some of you out there who, I think, are not totally hopeless. Some of you who didn't know or understand what was being asked of you at the time, who were just "having fun" at first, and tried to move things along when you were done. But every time the other group started riling you up again, you found yourself getting involved, maybe with a gnawing feeling that this isn't right somewhere in there (I always felt this way).

To you guys, I think there is probably some hope for you. You'll have to do a lot of hard work to get out of it, and you'll have to make a conscious effort to remove yourself from the others, if you want to succeed.

But I believe in you and I'll be there to forgive you, when the time is right.

Best of luck to this group.

Sincerely, R

Yeah… Had to write one for myself. I know, I know. Super cliché and unoriginal… yadda yadda...

So, me, you’re already quite aware of your flaws/shortcomings and all that, so I don’t think I need to spend more time dwelling on them. You've had enough of that already.

I am going to say one thing that I don’t say often to myself, which is, I am proud of how determined I am despite all of the set-backs and painful experiences I’ve accumulated throughout my life. I’m proud I was strong enough to keep getting back up every time I was knocked down, to keep moving forward even after being pushed back.

This time will be no different. Yeah... it’ll hurt like a bitch and it’ll be hard… but you’ve never been afraid of that anyway.

So, me, do yourself a favor, cut yourself some slack and relax already. It’s gonna be fine, contrary to the other part of you that’s always worried it won’t be.

It’s going to be fine.

And remember to breathe.

Sincerely,

… Yourself, silly :P

I don't forgive you for what you did. It was wrong and shouldn't have happened.

I do, however, forgive you for your blindness/ignorance regarding the situation – for not knowing who he really is or being able to spot his lies. I, too, wanted to make excuses for his behavior and run away from the truth, many times. I completely understand that it's a lot easier to go along with what you want to believe than to accept the truth.

But now, I know the reality. Maybe you do, too? Maybe you don't care... Maybe you're just like him. Who can really say?

Either way, I do forgive you for not knowing, and I understand why you did what you did.

Sincerely, R

I never said this to you, but thanks for having been there. You were one of the few when this first started happening to take me seriously, and tried to make me feel better about it. Thank you so much for listening to me and offering distractions. It really helped me get through the experience.

You're a good friend. I'm sorry I wasn't during that time. Someday, I hope I can make it up to you.

Sincerely, R

Hey 1. I wish that we still talked, but I know that you don't believe that can happen. You say you've forgiven me, but I still haven't. And honestly, I don't think you've forgiven me either. Clearly I wouldn't. I just want you to know that I never meant to hurt you, and I just want the best for you. Don't make your opinions and experiences with me affect how you perceive everyone. What I did was unfair and wrong and I think I finally understand that now. I was in a dark place, but that is no excuse for the burden I put on you, and I'm sorry. Maybe one day you'll message me or talk with me, but I don't think so to be honest.

2. Honestly I don't know what to say to you. I thought we were fine. I thought that you didn't care anymore. But I heard about what you did. I didn't want to believe it at first. I wanted to blame 1. But I did some digging and found that everything was true. I don't know what I did. You say I lied, but I have proof I didn't. Maybe you think I lied about something else, and if that's the case, let's set it right. I legitimately want to. But I can't without you responding to me.

3. I miss you. That's all I have to say. You're my brother and I love you like nobody else. I wish you were here. It's so much harder without you.

4. I'm sorry to do this to you, but I can't deal with you being the way you are right now. It's nothing personal, but it is just how it is. This probably confuses you, but know I still think you're great. We just can't do this now with the way others are and the way we are. It's too hard and we'll both be in pain and you know that will transfer to others as well. Maybe in another time and place but not now.

5. I know you think that I lied, and that is partially true. However, most of it wasn't. You don't believe me and you think I embellish things but I don't. I tell you how I feel, and if that doesn't float with you please tell me. But don't go on saying you care about me then turning your back whenever I need you.

6. I'm sorry for dragging you into my life

7. Everyone. I'm not who you think I am. If you got to know me, you'd know that I'm not this terrifying person I pretend to be. That is just my way to push people away. I'm wildly depressed and have been hurt too many times to where I don't want to trust anyone anymore, so I scare you all away. I wish that we could actually talk. I'm not the person you think exists, and I really just want people to genuinely care.

Dear P,

We had a good time working together. The time we spent at work put a smile on my face. The dinners we had after work were amazing trying different cuisines joking about our movie tastes, joking about our different backgrounds and the annoying johnny bravo dance you did even though you hate the show. I really thought I made a friend for life.

Alas I was wrong for you had different thoughts for the day you stopped working there you decided to drop everyone you knew there including me. I tried to keep the fire going but you squashed it. The day i realized it was over I smoked a joint and cried. That is when the panic attacks and anxiety started. I stopped smoking weed thinking that was the reason but I got hit with a massive panic attack after that realized my emotions were not right. I had friends growing up and then over time became a loner until I met you. This whole letter is a thank you for making me realise that I need to cherish and keep the people I have in my life who want to be here. I was like you , the second school was closed I would not talk to anyone and did not realize that pain I may have spread. Now I will learn and grow thank you!

Sincerely,

R

I'm not what you all think I am.

Sometimes, no... Always now. I'm ALWAYS stressed now.

It drives me crazy trying to process it all. I've heard some nasty rumors about me; heard some disgusting things from people in this town. I feel I get treated terribly because of it... I can't show my face without feeling paranoid or worse; seeing what people REALLY are or what they can do when they don't like you.

Bad service and burnt food when I go out to eat with my family is the most common issue. People vandalise my things when I'm away or steal from me on top of it all though as well... One of you lovely folks put water in my gas tank and tried breaking into my home. And then there's the blind - eye neighbors...

Thanks for that. I didn't ask for that but sure... Why not? I guess I'll just let it slide.

For the record I've never been arrested. Not too many friends either but whatever... I've been out of a taxed job for some time but I've always been driven - always able to find work (especially if it's under the table). I can't claim that I've been out of a job recently because of the slander that goes on but it definitely seems to be more and more likely. Employers don't want someone who's the center of the town gossip.

My line of work relies on word of mouth unfortunately, and despite how hard I try to get these people to like me and to do good work - it never sticks.

I know how you all think of me and what I am but I can tell you right now; I'm not. I'm not some sick individual out to get anyone... But I am getting tired of people treating me like some devil. Like that's what you all want from me.

I spend so much time wondering if I should just give in and give up. So much energy on how I can get people to like me and accept me and love me; I've wondered if I should just kill myself a bit too many times lately...

It was right around this point I really didn't appreciate it anymore. I wanted the undermining and the gaslighting to stop and was willing to do anything (even stooping to this low level) to make it stop.

I don't even try to be nice or polite anymore. The people I deal with are cold and full of malice: when I drive, when I shop, when I'm outside at all. Most often I simply mean mug everyone, or say some sarcastic and hurtful comment back. My most frequently used: "thanks for your concern." When some tough guy gets in my face or tries bullying me or shaming me over some fucking stupid bullshit that isn't even true; I tend to just lose it now, and resort to swinging my fists instead of trying to talk it out... It's not worth my energy I feel to try and resolve anything the right way anymore.

If somebody gaslights me now; or vandalises me and thinks I don't know it's them... I dish it right back. And I'm fucking good at it too. Gonna confront me and try and scare me to stop? I'll beat the fuck outta you and call the cops to have you hauled off after. The sad and scary truth is I look for a reason to go out and cause trouble now. I want people to KNOW what happens when you corner and cross someone the wrong way and what lengths they are willing to go to get out of the misery that is this community gossip trash.

I've become a monster. Couldn't prove them wrong and instead became what I feared.

I can't even trust myself or my family anymore.

I treat people exactly how I hate being treated now and it's killing me inside - knowing that people will spread terrible lies about me and they will never experience me for who I am. Knowing I can't bring myself to break this evil cycle.

Knowing that now it's too late, and I've probably done something back or without realizing it; to give you all a reason to actually hate me

I can't go on like this forever.

I don't know if I can even go one more day.

Tl;Dr - treat people how you want to be treated. Don't spread rumors. Think and experience people for who they are truly.

I can still remember vividly how you slowly crept your way into my life. You appeared as a sad man, bitter and depressed- listening to sad music and writing poetry all night long. You wrote about abandonment and heartbreak. You wrote about your fears and demons. I told you that your ‘demons’ are scary and potentially harmful but you promised me that your demons will never see the light of day as long as I stayed.

You were so broken so I couldn’t help but feel bad for you. You were so alone and I was too. So I stayed by your side as you wrote poetry and I painted pictures. You created a whole universe for the two of us and it was beautiful.

As time passes by you got tired of containing your demons inside. Your mind started getting clouded with dark thoughts again and there’s nothing I could do to help you. I tried to stay, I tried to be there. I know I promised to never leave but you left me with no choice.

You broke my heart everyday by making me feel worthless. You shattered my dreams and made me believe that life is hopeless. You said that I cannot trust anyone so I have to ONLY depend on you. You told me that if I don’t engage in anything physical with you, you’d touch me without consent. You told me that if I dare leave, you’ll kill yourself.

I distanced myself from you despite of all your threats. But you asked your people to look for me, stalk me, drive by my house and report what i was doing at that moment.

I wanted to die then and there. I was so scared. People kept saying that I should call the authorities but I can’t make myself do it. I don’t want other people to get involved. I placed myself in that pit, I have to suffer in it alone.

It’s been a while since I heard from you. A common friend told me that you’re in Rehab. I hope you get the help you need.

I hope you realise how hard it was to go through that mental warfare. And I hope you wont do it to anyone else.

If you’re reading this, I forgive you BUT please stay away from me.

Your beautiful poems don’t match the person you are inside.

Note: English is not my mother tongue. I’m sorry for the grammatical errors

I'm sorry. I spend every day feeling terrible. I wish things could have been different. I wish I wasn't me. I wish so many things. I know I promised I'd keep living but I really can't. Every day is torture. Every other thought betrays me. I can't ever find the happiness I had back then. It's only downhill from here. I tried getting better. Just like you asked. I tried so hard to feel good. But it's not working. It just hurts. I'm sorry. I really can't live like this.

Please don't worry about me. Please don't do anything rash. This is really the best case scenario. I won't let anyone down ever again. You won't hear from me. You won't see me. No one will. This is the perfect solution. You just have to trust me. This isn't your fault. It's not anyone's fault but my own. I wasn't supposed to be here and now I'll leave like I should have a long time ago.

I'm going in February. I'll keep trying. Just like I promised! But if things don't get better by then, I'm done. I won't tell anyone. That would be selfish. Instead, I'm following this silent gambit. It's win-win.

I'll never get the chance to say goodbye.

But I will say;

Sincerely, your best friend.

I love you. I always have and I always will. That is why I can’t see you ever again. You cause so much pain in my life that it’s killing me inside. Every time I look at your face it makes me cry.

When the first time you stopped talking to me, I almost killed myself. I feel like if I continue to talk to you, I’ll just take my own life. If it wasn’t for a friend pulling me back in my car from running out on the highway, I wouldn’t be here.

You are the source of my depression. Every time you ignore me I just get so angry that I want to punch a wall until my hands get my hands get bloody and scream at the top of my lungs out at the world.

You tell me that you care for me but I never see it. You tell me that you will be there for me but if I was about to die and I call you while I breathe my last breath, you wouldn’t answer.

You won’t let me live in your world, so you can’t be in mine. It’s ashamed too because I know we could be so good together, you’re just too blind to see it.

I just want a chance to be with you and if with all your heart you cannot do that then I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me the actual truth.

I know you’re lying to me about me being worthy enough but not wanting a relationship because if that was the case, you would never have gotten in a relationship with other people in the first place.

Sincerely, D

I fuckin hate you. I hate you with a passion. You think you're soooooo high and mighty don't you? "Its all love around here girl", pshhh!!! Really??? Where?? If I had only known that was THE BIGGEST LIE and the first lie to get the ball rolling. You slithered your snake ass into my life at one of the most vulnerable moments. You shot your shot shortly after my son died, and right after watching me finally escape that abusive relationship which lead me to miscarry...AFTER my son died. Remember that? You never cared for me. You fuckin lied straight to my face since the day we met and I fuckin did everything for you!!! You turned around and made yourself out to be somebody above all others with some kinda fuckin God complex or something, while convincing your family and friends that I was the p.o.s. You blamed me for getting pregnant the first time we hooked up which is stupid as fuck cuz its not like i impregnated myself!! You kinda helped!!! I told you how my family meant the world to me at one point but since a child, my entire family had been broken and literally each of us were in our own cuz we were all separated and unfortunately stayed that way. I admired the image you portrayed yourselves to be though...had many fooled i bet...I should've listened to the mother of your first children instead of letting you slither back into my mind and manipulate me into believing you could ever speak truthfully. You treat our daughter like shit and I should've reported you years ago...I have pictures still but idk if its enough proof to get her back from your pos controlling emotionally abusive ass. I see exactly what you did though...I almost want to commend you for the way you played your cards but your cocky ass has a big enough head so fuck that. Your lucky I haven't put your whole bull shit act on blast...yet. You lied to the courts about me being on drugs (with no proof) you lied about having proof, you lied about how you haven't been intentionally preventing contact between our daughter and I, you lied about me harassing you, you lied about me not being able to accept your new relationship that wasn't even new cuz you had it THE WHOLE TIME WE WERE STILL FUCKING, you lied about me being stuck on you when in fact I ended that shit with you first because I was stuck on dude that lives in a different city and I was trying to make it official with him....but that turned south and you and her turned south, then we both talked about being together and seeing what we could make happen then you fucked me and then left me. You said you didn't love her remember?? You talked down on her just like you did about your first BM...I should've been more aware to the truth that was right in front of me I can't blame you for my own blindness but I'm going to anyways cuz fuck you. Idgaf about you dude. I was and still am in love with someone else who isn't you and who you could NEVER even come close to being a fraction of the man HE is. You ain't shit. I know your a p.o.s. your family knows your p.o.s. and I've been told by more than one of your family members that you've always been a complete dick and a lot of them don't even like you. They love you of course, but you treat ppl like shit cuz shit is what you are. My daughters are afraid of you. Everyone sees the bull shit you've put me through cuz your true colors are starting to seep through that mask you've always worn...remember me telling you you're a narcissist?? We i meant it and little did you know, I've confirmed it through carefully and thoroughly becoming aware of my surroundings and paying attention to detail any time we came into contact...I didn't have to go fishing for shit....everything I've been told just came to me by the grace of God maybe idk...all I know is I never asked anyone anything about you or your life. What was meant for me just came on its own and I will get my daughter back. You really need a piece of paper to feel in control?? Really?? I gave you complete authority in any of the decision making and full rights to anything and everything in regards to our daughter. I never kept you guys separated i never blocked your communication, i never got you for child support when you weren't even in her life the first two years...I gave you just as much parental rights as I cuz from where I stood, I thought of us as a team ...I gave nothing but love and camaraderie and respect from the start because I didn't want our child to grow up like I did ...dysfunctional. You think the person you are is a good one but you're yhe complete opposite. You think the person I am is evil when I am the COMPLETE opposite...You are straight up delusional. You've kept our daughter from me for almost two years and its taken me that long to finally heal enough and strengthen my mind enough to face life again after all the lies, manipulation, and drama you've brought to my family..you've done more damage than your coward ass will ever admit to cuz your a liar...I will never forgive you for your sake nor will I respect your bitch ass. I forgive you for my own sake though and our daughters. Never again will i trust or believe you. Go ahead and threaten me some more, idgaf. Ive got nothing to lose and nothing to fear. So I'll end here with a big old FUCK YOU, FAREWELL & FUCK OFF!!! There's still so much more left unsaid but i can't write a novel, its in the rules damn it....I'm ok enough with this though. Gone.

Sincerely,

"Dumb ass bitch"

i like you,alot. i wish you liked me too. i know you hate me because I’m your younger sister but that’s okay,you have every right. i miss you,i hope when we’re older you and i can hang out like old times again.

sincerely,me

(not alabama)

lt was only me, within my own head, and not any fault of yours. It is no one's fault for not predicting this, because I made sure of that. Know that I appreciate everyone I have ever known, even if you were mean to me, because that's only human.

It’s me, your most hated person these days. Today you saw me walk into my driveway as you pulled out of yours. You sped up, honked aggressively and sped off. I was already having a bad day, that made it worse. I hate how much I miss you because I know I shouldn’t. Our friendship ended because you found out I was telling your family about your addiction because I was worried about your health and your seizures. Part of me deeply regrets it, only because I’d at least still be in your life, the other part of me doesn’t regret it because I think I helped save your life.

To this day, I have no idea if you are clean... I hope you are, and if so I hope that I helped. Even if it made you hate me, you have a lot of deep rooted issues but for whatever reason I can’t just give up on you. I’m not sure what it is about you. Even your mom when I talked to her last week said don’t give up on you just yet, and don’t worry. I haven’t. I’ll always be here, you know where I am 4 doors down or a text away.

Anyways, missing your friendship, good laughs and long drives especially today as I’m feeling sad today and you always knew how to help. Also happy early birthday, I know I’m 5 days early but hope your 23rd year on this earth isn’t too bad.

Lava you, forever.

• K

For the longest time I've been denying myself the simple pleasure of being upset with you. Not angry, not furious, just upset because I was scared you would block me out. That might have been my fault. I would shut down and would get quiet, but the difference JJC, is that I would stop and reach out to you and try. I get to be upset now though. I get to be angry at you for making me feel this way twice. It was just because of the way you did it, right? That was selfish and horrible and I deserved better than having four measly days of hope dangled in front of me. And you're right JJC, we can't be fixed, and I know that, but how dare you say you say you tried. Because I was trying, and you were there just watching me struggle.

For the longest time I've been putting my emotions, my life, my family, my friends, on the back burner so that I could spend time with you. To be fair, you never really asked me to, but you did make a point to tell me that "we" have to try harder. Sorry, had to. It doesn't feel real. I keep rereading your message and I guess I still need to know what changed from your "I do love you and am in love with you" view four days ago to yesterday where we can't be fixed. You never told me, even though I asked.

Everyone keeps telling me you'll come back, you'll see the mistake you made and come back. And while I love you and probably always will, I don't know if I could handle you coming back a third time just to leave me again. And I was happy with you by the way, so don't try to use my unhappiness with myself as a reason for leaving. If you're reading this JJC, know I'm done. I am so deeply in love with you, but I'm done.

Sincerely, a heartbroken Little Latin Lupe Lu

I can't even begin to explain how proud I am of you.

When we started dating you were so emotionally closed and isolated from most of our friends, yet once I helped you out of your bubble you began to shine, you were more outspoken, your words carried more meaning, you began to be more honest about the things that bothered you.

Yet these past couple of years I began to crawl into my own bubble, and I drove you out. You tried so hard to help me. You tried so fucking hard. And here I am, trying and failing to not cry. It caused you to start crawling in your own bubble again, and this time I couldnt help you. Because it was me that trapped you in there again.

I could go over everything that I should have done to help myself, and help you as well. But in the end your shield just sealed you away from me.

I wish I could take back all those tears I made you spill. I wish I could wipe them away and see your beautiful, shining smile again. A smile that was once only for me.

I wish I could be seen by those big, beautiful, blue eyes of yours with love and tenderness again, those eyes that now avoid mine.

I wish I could feel the warmth of your bare, silky, skin against mine, in an embrace that was only for us, now you won't even let me touch you.

I wish I could hold your hand as we walked through the park where we first met, where we first exchanged hellos, where we had our first date, and where I first told you that I love you.

I wish I could feel those pink, soft lips of yours against mine once more in a passionate, loving kiss.

I wish for a lot of things, but as we both know, wishes are fiction.

Those wishes that we shared became ideas, those ideas became plans, those plans became hope for our future, that future we wanted for each other, the future I wanted to give you, that I wanted to spend with you, that future that I wanted to be lying next to you every day, and every night.

Now that future we planned has been lost, because nothing is ever set in stone.

I miss you.

I love you.

I love you so goddamn much it hurts me to not be with you.

Sincerely, A.

I. Am. SICK. Of how you constantly take advantage of our mother, and in turn me. Because my husband killed himself and I have no other choice but to move back in with her with my infant daughter. And deal with my siblings I had wanted to escape from.

I. HATE. how every time you ask Mom to pick your daughter up and "you'll get her right after you get off work" it ALWAYS ends up being "oh, shoot, the party's still going (I LITERALLY just got this text!), can she just stay the night?"

How this comes a half hour AFTER you were supposed to get her, and so now I'm going to be getting to bed after midnight, again , and have to get up at 6 for my own child. And if I say ANY of this to you, or even hint at the fact I'm pissed you lied again.... oh, no, I'M THE ASSHOLE.

I love you. Somewhere. Deep- deep - down. But I hate you.

Sincerely, your younger sister that you like to wipe your ass on

Hi, First of all i just wanna say I'm extremely sorry for blocking u from all social media. It was so immature of me and i take full responsibility of it. Second thing, i was to afraid to admit my general feeling towards you. I was confused, agitated and emotionally unbalanced. I should have come clean to you about my emotions towards you. Yes I fully admit that I had a crush on you and yes i was jealous when u told me about the girl u liked in your class whom you found pretty darn cute and intelligent.

I fully regret my actions, and now i miss u, i really do. I miss our hour long conversation, i miss our subtle insult towards each other. I miss being your shorty and i miss calling someone PALM TREE.

I don't know if we will ever talk with each other again. But i do know this I will always cherish our conversation about life it self and keep our communication exchange in my fondest memories.

Till then..................

Love Dee

Dear Hope You're Happy,

I don't know if it would be better or worse to hate you properly. I think it would be very convenient to be able to see you in black or white, or to not be able to tell the difference between the things you did that hurt me, and you as a person. On the other hand, that's really not in keeping with the sort of life I try to lead.

You hid things from me, lied about it, gaslighted me into believing my instincts weren't telling the truth, treated me like I was hysterical for failing to express legitimate concerns in the most nonconfrontational manner possible... and I don't even think you meant to do it.

I certainly didn't mean to make you feel like a bad person. I didn't think you WERE a bad person. I just wanted the truth.

I wish I could hate you for casting me as the villain but I think I'm just... Even more worried for you than I already was because of it. Either you really didn't understand why I was upset, in which case I am concerned about the quality of emotional/social support in your life, or you DO understand why I was upset and were internalizing it, in which case, no, stop that, that's not healthy.

Or, you and I really, really stopped knowing each other several years ago.

I miss you (or at least the you I used to know) and I'm worried about what's been going on with you, and I'm also still really fucking pissed at you... and I'm really, really bad at cutting people loose.

I don't know how to stop hoping you're happy and healthy even when I want to not give a single fuck about you. Stop messing with my sleep schedule.

Sincerely, Changed For Good

I think about you everyday and I regret everything I did or said that made you feel a negative feeling, it was NEVER my intention. I’d protect you from anything if I could...

I haven’t been able to make any good friends since you. I feel like I have no one to turn to when things are going on - happy or sad. I wonder how you’re doing and what’s going on with you. I wonder if you think of me or remember the good times. I honestly hate how we ended our friendship and I wish you would’ve heard me out completely and just let me try to explain and fix things.

You were and will always be my best friend and I hope we can reconnect in the future. I wish I could find someone who could make me feel like you did :/ I dunno man. I love and miss you so much.

Sincerely,

N