According to the NBC exit polls, Trump won with white women (52% versus 47%).

Is it internalized misogyny? Being pressured by their spouses?

I don't even live in the US, but I'm concerned for my Filipino family there. As a woman of color, white women disappoint me.

Mods, please remove if this type of post is not allowed.

For those of you in the US, we are nearing the wee hours of the morning of election night, and feminists like myself that were hoping for a Kamala wave are getting nervous. I’ve begun to start preparing myself for what it might look like not only if trump wins, but also if Rs also win the senate and the house, giving him a trifecta and ofc Supreme Court protection.

I’m struggling with feelings of oppression more than ever- it blows my mind that someone who is convicted of sexual assault might govern our country again. In addition, the “gender gap” is very concerning. Our younger voters are more divided by gender than ever before, with men just showing up for trump by incredible margins. And I can’t be upset at the women who turned out for trump, as much as I’d like to be. Internalized misogyny is real and rampant.

My initial reaction is to flee my republican state, but assuming I’m unable to do that, which is likely the case, I’m trying to process real and tangible ways to potentially survive this and recover from this. Any thoughts or feelings are welcome. Much love 💙

If masculinity at its core is about hierarchy, competition, dominance and assertiveness how exactly would "proper" or "healthy masculinity" look like? If we strip away all the toxic traits, what's left? I hear the concepts of femininity and masculinity presented as two complementing forces like yin and yang, night and day but I find that misleading since it paints both as equal.

Are they really though? Masculinity feels more like a portrait of those in power and from those power structures that masculine values create follows misogynistic behaviors. Men enacting masculine behaviors in groups will inevitably lead to hierarchies of men and those hierarchies will eventually lead to misogyny and oppression of women.

This would imply that it's not women who need more to be more "masculine" but men who should act out more behaviors culturally defined as feminine.

Do you agree with this or what would you criticism about my argument?

This is a hard question I have been trying to figure out how to ask. But in a space intended to decenter men, on discussions that do include topics that are expressed differently based on someones gender presentation, I am noticing people will sometimes discuss “here’s what racism towards black women looks like, here is how women with Autism are overlooked”

I think I made a mistake to go “yeah and along with that there’s ways we can be uniquely racist towards black men we gotta watch out for, like assuming that they are only here to sleep with younger white women” to me this was like a we were talking about racism, we were self reflecting, we should be open with ourselves about all the ways our racism manifests (there has been a repeat question of folks asking me [I think Im a token brown person for a lot of people in my community] why is our community/culture so white so I have been trying to talk through racism and racist actions I have seen the best I can)

I believe I understand how this is recentering men, and this kind of phrasing can be an issue. I am really struggling with how to tackle these layered topics. Or do I just not?

I would. I think I’d feel safer. Take walks at night without looking back, ever.

Wear what I want without fearing being catcalled or harassed. Go to nights out till 5 am.

It sounds like a dream to me. Am I missing something?

I've seen some people say that,and I'm curious to what ya think

I (30F) want to first say that I am not making this post with an intention to attack anyone, I'm purely asking for understanding. I genuinely have questions that I'm not sure how to understand through my own research.

I recently became a first time mom. And I am struggling with understanding what feminism even stands for anymore especially when it comes to my daughters future. At my core I believe there to be many good things about feminism, for example our right to vote, our right to our autonomy, and our right to work. But I have been questioning why it feels like my rights to be a SAM have been stripped away by a lot of the current actions in feminism? Or does this have nothing to do with feminism and on our economy?

I would love nothing more than to be able to raise my child and future children while being a present and prominent figure in their childhood, but I don't feel like I have that choice to do so anymore, between affording a mortgage, and other bills and the standard that women should be able to be a good mom and a boss babe being able to balance all of it.

I'm not sure if this makes any sense, but I'd be happy to answer for clarification. TIA 😊

I recently read a post about a woman who spoke about her experience one day being ignored by a man in an established friend group where she was the new friend because she felt that she wasn't attractive to him and didn't put on makeup. The next day, she put on makeup and a cute outfit and the man approached her. She along with a lot of comments agreed that it is vile how men treat you if you're not attractive to them.

I do sympathize with this statement, but I also find it jarring how differently our experiences are treated. As a neurodivergent person of color who also experiences the same thing being ignored by people, and reading up on other men who experience the same thing, when we talk about our experiences of being ignored by others unless we're attractive to them, we're immediately met with claims of being entitled to people's attention, claims of being an incel, etc. Why is that?

Hi, and good morning, everyone! (Please note the main body may contain points etc you may disagree with, that's fine. It's simply to setup my question)

I’ve noticed that on social media whether it’s Instagram, TikTok, or YouTube there’s a lot of content from left-leaning creators that criticizes Red Pill men or, occasionally, the ‘trad wife’ crowd. But I’m curious why the same level of scrutiny isn’t applied to calling out harmful or toxic behaviors by women, whether it’s "NiceGirls" or other problematic actions. You'll have thousand examples of Men being incompetent but apparently none of Women. You'll have the same content creators mocking and lambasting horrible Male dating profiles but practically next to nothing when it comes to Women dating profiles. There's plenty of content out there that show example of heinous/toxicity committed by some Women.

There are probably more examples, but I’ll leave it at that for now since I’m about to catch some Zzz’s.

If you don’t agree with these examples, that’s fine they’re just here to set the stage for my main question:

Is this simply part of current social media norms, or could it be that left/liberal creators avoid critiquing women to prevent promoting misogyny? Can we be critical of toxic or harmful actions by some women without inadvertently fueling misogynistic narratives? Are there any left leaning content creators out there who critique both genders fairly, not just men because it’s easier?

Oh and please get out and vote.

I’d love to hear your perspectives

I see some people say Joey Swoll is misogynist and has tried to invalidate women's experiences at gyms, and others say he just promotes gym positivity and calls out bad behaviour and practices. So I was wondering what your thoughts / opinions about him are.

Edit: since someone mentioned it, one seemingly positive video I saw of his on tiktok was where he called out those two girls who made a tiktok making fun the exercises some random dude was doing. And one of the others I saw get more backlash and there was more controversy was when there was a woman who was filming herself, claimed a guy was staring at her in the clip and made her scared, when in the clip it seemed like all he did was glance at her on the way to the change room. (Unfortunately I can't find the related articles I saw published about it)

Like, It's WORK, it sucks, as men, we always worked because...we were working for you, you were the reason we worked. We bared that so we could give you better lives. I can not imagine finding fulfillment in a career, not a regular career. I like to write, if I became a famous writer (which I know prob. wont happen) like, even then if I couldn't lampoon the money and prestige of that kind of career into getting a good woman...it would have been pointless.

I don't understand how women have bought into this whole idea of "I don't need a family, I'm gonna find fulfillment in my career" like I get it, you're a doctor or a lawyer, but at the end of the day they're jobs...jobs suck, why was it so easy to sell you guys on THIS is what you should be focusing on instead of familes? Family is evreything, we did all these shitty jobs, just so we could have a few hours a night and maybe weekeds with you and the kids, so the kids could have a roof and good life, we worked so hard for you, and if this generations dating patterns show anything...you just don't care.

I know I sound sexist, but damn I just feel like you guys gave up a sweet deal, and it wasn't all you, capitalism kind of forced our hand to where a lot of families need 2 income households (But an even deeper conspiracy was that the powers that be pushed this whole narritive of women should work to double the labor market and devalue ALL our labor to bring us to this)

I don't understand, we did everything for you, and that wasn't enough...please explain it to me. I Know I can be mysogonist sometimes, and I'm really working on combating that, but this one is a fucking puzzle to me

I'm a country fan but even I take issue with some lyrics. For instance "She's somebody's daughter" by Drew Baldridge. It reduces women to being "daddy's little girl" and even glorifies the trope of menacing your daughter's prom date. It's much less sexist but I'm not especially fond of "Buy Dirt" since it's all old-fashioned family values. "Try that in a small town" was understandably controversial and I too hate advocacy for vigilantism (i highly doubt the song was implying that they solve crime with prosecutors). There was also "Beer for My Horses" with lynching references, which Chip Roy misquoted. And maybe worst of all was "Before he cheats".

I've heard that female friendships are more intimate than female relationships, and I'm wondering if it's just a biological thing or a social thing?

It's come up in my feed a lot and I want to know your lots opinion.

I saw a post from a person who swung from red to blue. Here was her reason:

"Well, I don't want to be affiliated with any group that harshly criticizes people because of their personal beliefs, gets violent when people disagree with them, and refuses to have an actual conversation regarding the state of our country, its standing in the world, and the direction we want it to go."

Have you or anyone you know swung to blue? If so, why?

Title might sound a bit dumb but as someone with a history of dating women who were often a bit of a pushover I have been trying to go on dates with more confident and self determined women - alone just to see how well I match with different types of people. It made me question to what degree I have this internalised idea about women and romantic relationships - am I drawn to more subservient women just because of the way society raised me? That whole sweet and warm traditionally feminine persona. Or if I feel nothing on a date is someone actually just being too argumentative and rude? If someone is being very critical of what I say or in general holds very strong opinions about the world?

What are your thoughts on this? I do want to find someone who has their own opinions and calls me out on my shit at times, someone who can stand their ground a bit against others too but I often find I dont feel those warm fuzzy feelings of attraction with some very confident women. I know for some people its a draw if they find someone very dominant who makes them a bit nervous or aware of their own flaws but for me it really doesnt translate to sexual attraction at all. It doesnt make me feel good about myself - on the contrary. Then someone sweet and shy comes along and Im all on board again. Am I really such a slave to my own male ego?

I got banned right away on the r/feminist one for asking if Feminists understand Christianity, specifically Christian marriage. My agenda was regressive they said. I disagree. My agenda was to try and understand how all of you as feminists view Christian marriage, if you do, what conclusions you've come to about it, if any, what those are and how you arrived at them. I'm just curious if feminists know what a Christian marriage entails and what they think the ineractions between the husband and wife are like. I didn't mean to offend anyone over there, I was just curious because I've listened to quite a few feminists talk about this subject, some very passionately, and they seem to see it in such a radically different light than I do so I was just inquiring for further information to try to understand where you're coming from and why you feel the way you do about it. So if I don't get banned from here are there any feminists who might be willing to explain your views to me so I can learn about it? I'm genuinely interested.

Since I had a kind of enlightenment today about relationship dynamics, I thought I might look for some opinions. So, I am a bi woman and used to have serious relationships with men only, for the quite a long time. When I started dating women in a romantic, more serious fashion, I noticed something. It felt like the dynamic between me and my respective partner was completely different. Even though it wasn’t all perfect, I felt like we were working on something / building something emotional together. With men, no matter how involved and also (emotionally) evolved they were, it always felt like there was a little something in the background. Which I have identified as being power struggles. Like they always needed to have the upper hand, usually in a more manipulative kind of way (but I guess that is a personality thing). I noticed that with most interactions, with most man and I am aware that it is also a me-problem. I am very assertive, rational and direct, which might sometimes be hard to handle for others. Although I always strive for equality, empathy and balance and with one gender it seems to work out, with the other it doesn’t.

What’s your take on this topic in general? Do you think there is an inherent power struggle in the ‘standard hetero relationship‘?

side note: I am not looking for relationship advice, I am interested in the topic in general and just used my situation to explain the question a bit. I am also not trying to hate on hetero relationships here, it was just a thought I had - just wanted to make that clear :)

Hi I am man just wanted ask this quick question does crying making man weak. I have a friend she said it's ok to show express your emotions don't bottle them up

This was inspired by a post on the teachers subreddit where people were discussing girls and boys in terms of achievements (boy education crisis talk), but some people were talking about how girls are put off of boys their own age now, specifically because of the rampant online sexism seeping into their daily lives. I've heard about this phenomenon with adult women, who seem to be putting up with men somewhat less than before (but I expect that because even older women seem to decry marriage a lot nowadays), but how early is this "burnout" coming? As far as I can tell, girls actually seem to be pulling away from them because of the Andrew Tate-ism, Shapiro, Jordanson etc, which wasn't so much of a thing before? For example, while I think stuff like bra-snapping (popular in the early 2000s?) wasn't really tolerated, but more seen as "nothing", girls these days tolerate a lot less from their male classmates. The sexism's maybe more hostile, but the response seems more staunch as well. But idk.

These are kind of strange times, I guess. We have some TikTok influencers or so extolling tradwife lifestyles, and in the same breath you can find women who talk about how they've basically sworn off of partnering with men (or maybe just living with them) these times, and then you hear statistics about how women aren't dating men as much or how they're participating less in the workforce after COVID, and it's a little hard for me to put all these ducks in a row. But I really do wonder if that Germaine Greer quote is coming around now. "Women have no idea how much men hate them", something like that. I feel like nowadays, that's becoming less and less true, since women and especially girls (who've grown up with the internet) can basically see men's private thoughts about them now and wonder if even the ones who are nice to their face believe stuff like that behind closed doors, or would actively protest if the world started shifting to a place where men could just expect domestic servants again. If the same guy who they think of as a friend and seems benign enough would actually do anything more than shrug or give some strongly-worded complaint (then go back to their normal lives) if they were, say, forced out of education or a workplace. For example, it's rare to find a man who stands up for women in male-dominated online spaces. Typically, you'll see at least a couple of women defend men if something is said about them in a female-dominated space, but actually, to date, I've never once seen a man stand up for women in a male-dominated space when they begin to say sexist stuff. So then I wonder if the younger generations who've actually grown up with social media are actively noting these things.

Let's say someone has a really strong kink for something—women in boots, for example. And, let's say that they download photos/videos of women wearing boots from the internet, but generally not from porn sites. They prefer downloading them from things like product photos, reviews, outfit posts, blog entries, etc. They do this in secret, in large part to get off on the visuals. They never tell anyone about the fact that they do this, especially not the people whose photos they've downloaded. Their mindset is basically, "What they don't know won't hurt them."

Do you feel that this is permissible, or would you still consider it to be unethical and a violation of consent? Is it something that would bother you to learn about in a potential partner, and would it be a deal-breaker?

I feel like people often attribute malice to individuals who have the self awareness of a drunk bumblebee.

Cletus from Valdosta Georgia is someone who grew up disadvantaged, someone who had a bottom tier public education, someone who the Patriarchy benefits but whose station in life is still one of marginalization economically.

Does Cletus call his wife a "nag" because he WANTS to harm women? Or does Cletus call his wife a "nag" because he is an over leveraged individual incorrectly assuming his stress is caused by his partner?

There is no debate possible that society disadvantages women, it just clearly does. It's not a matter of opinion or worldview it's just a fact.

Also it should be noted that regardless of the intent of the individual who harms, harm is harm. Trauma (an unresolved wound) is a physical thing. It causes chronic states of unsafety that harm your DNA, and it causes this harm regardless of what the person who inflicted the trauma thinks about their actions.

This is a lighthearted post, please don't take it too seriously. For me it would probably be "gender abolishment" but I'm probably not nearly as well versed in this topic as many of you are so I'de love what you have to say!

Idk if this is the right place to ask this but I have a good feeling you'd know. I don't mean harm by this question.

I've noticed that when on reddit people always talk about female on male sexual attacks but never male on male. Isn't it more common for male victims to be attacked by other males? Ofc people sometimes do overlook female attackers and dismiss men who are attacked by women but...it feels like on reddit only one side gets talked about or at least gets put on a pedestal, an unforunate one. "Well, women rape too!" Like some sort of gotcha moment. I feel like sometimes people also bring up other peoples stories as "proof" as well to make their gotcha stronger and it makes me feel...just odd idk. Like it's not out of sympathy.

I'm only saying this because it's Reddit, if this were real life I wouldn't question a thing. I'm not talking about the people sharing their stories too, that takes a lot to do and I applaud them for that. They deserve to be heard. It just feels different since it's reddit. How come only one side is shown and talked about on here? Or at least, why is that one side in a sense favored on reddit? Wouldn't the majority be favored?

Some social things are hard for me, I don't understand how people work, I need help.

Anyone know examples of any larger companies/corporations/cooperations/collectives founded and run by women or predominantly by women thriving in contemporary business life?

I’m looking for self sustaining organizations with large scale cooperation & coordination of 500+ people towards a common purpose.

I’m not looking for non-profit organizations like church or charities that needs to be supported with some kind of good-will contribution but rather organizations where the main purpose is collaborative net produce of something a smaller organization wouldn’t be able cope with.

Do you have some good examples? Perhaps feminist scholars have described such organizations?

Such organizations might be role models for a considerable part of future “business life” or whatever you may call collaborative creation of what is needed. It may not necessarily be businesses as we understand it today but could be in a different societal organization.

I did spend a Sunday afternoon trying to find some but nothing substantial came up.

So I recently opened an account on Threads, and for some reason what I was seeing (idk why their algorithm was feeding me this) was a lot of men asking the ether, "why am I still single? I don't have any debt, I own my own home and car, I have a good job, etc...."

This got me thinking, because these guys seemed to be clueless to the idea that women can also have jobs now, all on our own. Like yeah, I (a single woman) would definitely want to date someone who had their financial life together....but this is like baseline. Women are going to want more than that in order to choose one guy out of everyone and say "you sir, I want to see YOU with your clothes off." (Or: I want to spend my life with YOU and have your baby.) Etc.

We care about things like emotional intelligence. Are you supportive and kind? Are you 100% committed to doing 50% of the housework and emotional labor? If we have kids, is it automatically assumed that I take the career hit or are you gonna step up and volunteer to scale back on your dreams? Do we share interests? Do we make each other laugh? Is there chemistry? Are we wildly attracted to each other? Do you care about my orgasm? Et cetera and obviously these things will be different for everyone.

My sense of things is that there are some guys who have not caught up to the idea that women can have their own jobs and finances now. Like they really seem to be struggling with the idea that women are full adults with their own financial independence, and they think having their own job and house is all they need to attract a partner.

And in a way it makes sense. Like before the 70s we couldn't have credit cards or bank accounts in our own name without a male co-signer, and a lot of jobs were not accessible to us. We were literally shut out of financial adulthood and resources if we weren't married. So in that time, yeah, many women probably had standards that revolved around those baseline things. The fact that men can no longer expect to attract a mate just by resource hoarding is a really new thing, culturally speaking.

I think a lot of these guys are the ones who wind up voting for Trump, because he's trying to roll back women's rights and independence and promising to bring back a world where these men can "make enough to provide for a wife and kids" (I have heard Trump supporters in my own life describe it like this). And of course keep that wife under control because she has fewer options and no fault divorce is gone.

It seems pretty clear in how Trump supporters talk about women and relationships, as if they can't fathom women having jobs outside the home. For instance when reacting to that Julia Roberts ad about a woman voting secretly for Harris, Charlie Kirk said "I think it’s so nauseating where this wife is wearing the American hat, she’s coming in with her sweet husband who probably works his tail off to make sure that she can go you know and have a nice life and provide to the family, and then she lies to him saying, ‘Oh, yeah, I’m gonna vote for Trump'"...absolutely no consideration that women can also have jobs. There are loads of examples like this (Harrison Butker comes to mind) (waves hand to indicate the entirety of the tradwife phenomenon)

I've seen essays about how Democrats should try appealing to these disaffected men who aren't making enough to support a family, but I'm not sure how they'd do that without sounding sexist. If the message is "hey guys, if you want to make enough to provide for a wife and family, vote for me" it sounds a bit sexist because women also want to make family-supporting money. It's not just exclusive to guys. We don't want to go back to a time when only men could have jobs.

And Democrats already talk about improving the economy in gender neutral terms but that doesn't seem to be reaching these guys because what they care about is not just improving the economy for everyone, but restoring male primacy.

What do you think?

Edited to add because I think this is important, obviously this take of "women never had jobs and men were the only ones who worked" is oversimplified because women have worked outside the home throughout history. It's mainly about an idealized (based in nostalgia about white and middle class stereotypes) daydream these guys have about what it used to be like than reality. Although the part about women having a lot less financial recourse over all, and less freedom and ability to leave a bad relationship prior to the Civil Rights Act (in the US) is probably more accurate.

In the UK, 70,330 rapes were reported to the police in 2021-2022, only 1378 resulted in conviction. This is a report-conviction rate of 2%.

What do you think the standard of evidence should be to reach a conviction, should the alleged perpetrator have full anonymity before conviction, if so would there be legal consequences if the alleged victim made a public statement accusing the alleged perpetrator?

Should it require a unanimous deicison from the jury, a simple majority or something in between?

For this, I don't want to focus on economic constraints but rather the burden of proof.

What do you think would be a realistic report-conviction rate benchmark that could be achieved.

A husband who desperately wants a child, whose wife's pregnancy fails and she can't get care, faces not only the loss of a child but perhaps also his wife. A 17-year-old boy's condom fails and his girlfriend and baby need him. A dad learns his young daughter was raped and will be forced to carry the child. While the women in these examples are impacted much more severely, these men's lives are changed. How can men and women partner to fight for reproductive freedom?

I'm not asking this from a MRA or MGTOW point of view. I was just reading from some articles when I ran into one that states 71% of UK men faced victimization from women in some form.

The paper is "Male Sexual Victimization by Women: Incidence Rates, Mental Health, and Conformity to Gender Norms in a Sample of British Men", and the data seems legit to me.

I guess I'm just asking that if the victimization rate of men from women is so high, is it incorrect to approach r*pe/SA as a gendered violence from men onto women? As far as I'm aware, that is a common belief of many feminists.

Obviously, this is just from a Western standpoint. Other countries with more strongly entrenched patriarchy and fewer human rights will have different stats.