/r/TwoSentenceComedy
Write a funny story in two sentences (or less!)
MAKE IT FUNNY!
Also sub to r/twosentencesadness after subbing to us!
Based off of r/twosentencehorror
Rules:
1) Bullying is NOT allowed.
2) NSFW posts MUST be tagged.
3) Slurs are NOT permitted.
4) All posts must be two sentences or less.
5) Be original.
Sister Subreddits:
/r/TwoSentenceComedy
58,523 Subscribers
When Nanny saw Mommy chasing me with a belt she started chasing Mommy with a stick.
But we all froze when we saw Great Granny.
13:38 UTC
What did the nudist jogger's neighbor remind him of on the hottest day of the year?
Don't let your streak burn out!
03:20 UTC
I don't want to step up
So I use lift
17:59 UTC
I refused the wagyu beef after learning how the cows were pampered by receiving massages and being fed beer.
I just couldn't bring myself to eat such spoiled meat.
15:21 UTC
I told myself I’d sleep early…
Netflix said, “No, you won’t."
11:45 UTC
I like to tell my Pokemon obsessed son Pokemon battles of the anime as bedtime stories
Last night it was Ash vs Samurai in Viridian Forest and both fell asleep before finishing it
11:00 UTC
"Another slice of Madeira, sir?"
Patting his stomach, Descartes replied, "I think n.."
07:37 UTC
As they came to the end of the horror story, the campers heard a scream.
"It's a g-g-g a goat" the kid with a stutter explained.
03:14 UTC
How do we know Jesus was a baller?
Because he said, "I come quickly" but it's been, like, over 2,000 years.
16:06 UTC
Dark humor is like food…
Not everyone gets it.
12:11 UTC
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
12:01 UTC
Couldn’t believe when I heard Al Pacino wanted to be impregnated by a cat.
Then I remembered he was in Heat.
03:59 UTC
My mind and heart started to race.
And that's when I knew snail racing was not for me.
02:58 UTC
My boyfriend complained they have a gadget to replace just about anything a man can do.
I told him women have known that for years.
23:24 UTC
My wife was visibly shaken as she combed through the infestation in our child's hair
She had that dear in the head lice look
12:03 UTC
I keep trying to get a taxi in germany, and people keep giving me dirty looks...
Maybe I'm doing this hand signal wrong?
06:00 UTC
I never knew it would be so hard to find fishcakes!
And tomorrow is my Tetra's birthday!
05:32 UTC
I never realized how labor-intensive installing a tailpipe could be.
In the end, it was exhausting.
15:15 UTC
it's supposed to be the year of the snake
but for an OP, it's always the year of (sucking) c🐓cks
07:44 UTC
Why'd the Colonel follow the chicken across the road?
To breddit, with love
01:50 UTC
I thought getting caught in the eye of the storm was scary.
But then I found myself in its spleen.
01:23 UTC
All my clients at my hair salon have gotten angry with me.
Apparently a full shave doesn’t usually include eyebrows, eyelashes, and that part at the end where I put all the hair in my mouth.
01:11 UTC
"Mom?" I called out as I vaguely smelled something cooking when I entered the house.
But, entering the kitchen, I instead found Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson stirring a mom-sized cauldron as his mouth began to form the words, "Can. You. Smell..."
23:57 UTC
I can multitask
I can fuck up several things at once
23:12 UTC
I taught my third graders about herds of cows and flocks of pigeons.
But mentioning a murder of crows stirred the PTA up so much that it brought out an entitlement of Karens.
21:05 UTC
An Eskimo was asked how he liked being Native American.
He said he was really Inuit.
19:17 UTC
I read a post about a girl who canceled her car insurance.
Only to realize, it was another ad.
19:12 UTC
How could you tell the Prarie schooner believed in manifest destiny?
It was a wagon.
14:48 UTC
What's something worth if it's worth slightly more than spit?
About 10 clams...
21:40 UTC
My class did a stage adaptation of the Pokemon anime episode "Challenge of the Samurai" as a school play
Playing the role of Ash Ketchum was very hard
19:26 UTC