/r/TwoSentenceComedy
Write a funny story in two sentences (or less!)
MAKE IT FUNNY!
Also sub to r/twosentencesadness after subbing to us!
Based off of r/twosentencehorror
Rules:
1) Bullying is NOT allowed.
2) NSFW posts MUST be tagged.
3) Slurs are NOT permitted.
4) All posts must be two sentences or less.
5) Be original.
Sister Subreddits:
/r/TwoSentenceComedy
40,785 Subscribers
Josh went outside to see his dog
Agatha pennywinkle ate him
01:36 UTC
It's "Bring your pet to Film Club" day and everyone's gathered together to discuss how they felt about the Walking Dead.
Lovecraft walks into the room and he wants to introduce his also rotting feline friend.
21:54 UTC
Little Timmy went online to check out his favorite pokemon
That was the day little Timmy became Timmy
13:39 UTC
I was blind folded for a game show challenge where I need to identify things by smell
"Ugh, smells like shit" I say jokingly, but to my horror, the game show host announced I was correct
11:49 UTC
"I'll have the Taco Tuesday Special."
I'm sorry sir, but this is a Wednesday.
23:40 UTC
I looked in the Groupchat yesterday and saw bro complaining that his girl had left him .
I swiftly replied saying was the girl I met at the cafe we have just recently engaged now.
00:09 UTC
Things were going great when I invited my date over to my apartment.
Until they went to use the bathroom, and I realized I’d forgotten to flush.
16:21 UTC
He said it was a normal toilet
Than the skibidi noises started playing
15:17 UTC
Walking up to the grave, I was furious when I saw my friend was buried with their dead name on the headstone.
When I saw the wrong dates underneath, however, I realized I was at the wrong cemetery.
14:10 UTC
Just found out im addicted to Viagra.
No-one’s taking it harder than my wife.
19:28 UTC
Remember when Ariana Grande said “God is a woman”?
As a Sakta, I relate
15:26 UTC
The cursed prince spent ten lonely years as a frog before one magical kiss saved him.
He’s now had two weeks of married bliss, and the tadpoles are doing nicely.
19:54 UTC
When my little sister clawed at her throat and gasped for breath, I started googling frenetically.
She still persisted after I shoved the Wikipedia page in her face and said, “It says here that peanuts aren’t nuts; they are legumes.”
13:35 UTC
Knock, knock.
It only took two jerks to get myself off, but I forgot to move my bed away from the wall.
12:03 UTC
I’ve recently gained weight because of my busy schedule.
I guess you could say I have too much on my plate.
01:44 UTC
After looking everywhere, couldn't find my beloved feline
My worried neighbors said it was a CATastrophe
01:28 UTC
Found out I got into Harvard while I was looking at the eclipse.
Things are looking up.
00:28 UTC
What do you call a dancing muffin
Abundance of time
19:37 UTC
My daughter doesn't have a boyfriend.
She has a girlfriend instead.
18:01 UTC
"... but how on Earth were you able to determine he was the poisoner, Detective?"
"Although it sounds like Welsh, the man was actually speaking Gibberish, meaning he was from Gibber: the one place on this planet where that particular strain of dendrocnide moroides grows."
14:08 UTC
"Noah, you must build a boat to survive the flood!" Said God
Noah replied "You think I'm some architect?"
09:04 UTC
I finished in my girl
Now i need a new car
01:38 UTC
“What’s your political beliefs?”
“I don’t believe in politics.”
23:23 UTC
“9-1-1… fire, police or ambulance…
… but first, a word from our generous sponsors at Guns n’ Donuts, or you can upgrade now to Premium 9-1-1.”
18:47 UTC
We all know New York City.
but, where's the old York city?
16:05 UTC
‘You mean to tell me this man’s remains have lain here for 40 years and we knew who he was all along?’
‘Boss, it’s bad luck, how many victims do you know whose Christian name is John Doe?’
15:59 UTC
"Mr. Johnson, it appears you have hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia," the doctor explained.
"Aaahhh!!!" I screamed.
16:00 UTC
As of today, I am no longer a 40-year-old virgin.
Blowing out the candles of my birthday cake, I am now officially a 50-year-old virgin.
13:54 UTC
"i am sorry i am unable to give birth"
my AI voice program told me
19:50 UTC
what does Jesus know about Christianity anyway?
dude wasn't even a Christian
08:57 UTC