/r/TwoSentenceComedy
Write a funny story in two sentences (or less!)
MAKE IT FUNNY!
Also sub to r/twosentencesadness after subbing to us!
Based off of r/twosentencehorror
Rules:
1) Bullying is NOT allowed.
2) NSFW posts MUST be tagged.
3) Slurs are NOT permitted.
4) All posts must be two sentences or less.
5) Be original.
Sister Subreddits:
/r/TwoSentenceComedy
50,604 Subscribers
The doctor walked into the room, shut the door, and prepared to give me a shot.
Little did they know that they are trapped in here with me now and I will be the one sticking something inside them.
08:12 UTC
My friends have always said that I seem to be in "high spirits" all the time.
It's strange to me, though, because I've always been sober.
02:54 UTC
He told me who he voted for, then I thought to myself "what a moron."
"What do you mean you didn't even vote for yourself?"
19:27 UTC
even if you have the pass, you shouldn't call fat people the b-word
b*gger
11:47 UTC
Your momma is so technologically illiterate
She framed her SSL certificate
10:25 UTC
My friend is so woke, he's the reason quantum computers exist.
So you can have a choice between a binary system and a non binary system.
10:24 UTC
That is misogyny.
Really, does it come with a happy ending?
02:00 UTC
She wanted to see the gynecologist for her issues but was worried about the cost.
Don't worry, it's free; I'm an amateur, he said.
18:41 UTC
Maybe Opinions ARE like A-holes...
they're fun to fuck with!
15:26 UTC
"Clown, stop that incestant honking of your nose."
"Pie time," said the clown as he threw a pie at his face instead.
04:34 UTC
A woman who only weighed 80 lbs stole 100 lbs of shrimp from Walmart.
She was charged with petite larceny.
03:41 UTC
I smiled as I posted my two-sentence horror story.
And then I realized I had put it on the wrong sub.
00:09 UTC
What he said to the person about to sit on his Apple product...
Not on MY watch!
21:49 UTC
Please press any key to continue.
(30 seconds later) If you're still searching for the "any" key, please press the space bar, as you are most likely spacing out.
20:56 UTC
During the closing arguments of the debate, the candidate visibly soiled himself while proclaiming he's the one they wanted.
His opponent merely rebutted, "The people need a competent leader, not an incontinent one."
18:03 UTC
My wife said she'll dance on my grave, so I asked to be buried at sea.
But my request was denied so she got her wish.
13:17 UTC
spoiler dialogue from my story about twins vs pre/eclampsia
"JOHN! GET OUT OF THE WOMB! JOHN!! "
12:54 UTC
10 minutes after I ordered the pizza, there was knocking at my door, then my window.
Turns out I had accidentally ordered TWO pizzas from Ya-either-get-ya-pizza-through-ya-door-or-ya-window Pizza
23:23 UTC
I like my women how I hate my coffee.
Incredibly hot and in my lap.
23:14 UTC
I like my coffee how I like my women.
I don’t drink coffee.
22:37 UTC
I'll say this about President Trump,
He's really good at beating women.
20:11 UTC
The doctor gave me good news about my STD test.
He told me I was positive.
17:49 UTC
"What are you doing?" my girlfriend asked.
My wife is not a "what," I replied.
17:38 UTC
Trump is NOT my president
(Im Mexican)
17:10 UTC
Elie Wiesel one stated, "the opposite of faith isn't heresy, it's indifference."
I'd agree: but I don't remember people being stoned for indifference.
16:45 UTC
We wanted to spice up our role playing in bed, so we reenacted film love scenes.
But when she wanted to reenact Basic Instinct , I had to ask her, "which scene?"
13:15 UTC
One of the symptoms for covid, is having no taste
Looking back at my exes, I realised I've been infected for years
04:03 UTC
How do you request an Italian Onion that you find attractive to Sacrifice himself at your hands?
I A-Peel You!
23:18 UTC
As I brushed my hand against the empty wall beside me my heart stopped.
I really need to start checking for toilet paper before using public toilets.
22:00 UTC
I went to drink some water because I was thirsty...
Little did I know... it was still water...
21:12 UTC