/r/TwoSentenceComedy
Write a funny story in two sentences (or less!)
MAKE IT FUNNY!
Also sub to r/twosentencesadness after subbing to us!
Based off of r/twosentencehorror
Rules:
1) Bullying is NOT allowed.
2) NSFW posts MUST be tagged.
3) Slurs are NOT permitted.
4) All posts must be two sentences or less.
5) Be original.
Sister Subreddits:
/r/TwoSentenceComedy
53,972 Subscribers
Contrary to the saying, “don’t bite the hand that feeds you” I did exactly that.
But he just kept eagerly shoving his meat into my mouth not giving a damn that I was gagging hard!
22:01 UTC
Cleopatra often fucked men all night long lasting longer than a Duracell Bunny on roids.
Her MUMMY never ran out of juice either
21:35 UTC
Suicide Bomber was found stuck to the roof in a failed terror attack.
Looks like the "No Nails" Bomb was a bad idea after all.
21:14 UTC
I was honestly surprised hearing my mom tell me that I was fine and never was dropped as a baby.
if that's the case, how come I have that Tyler1 headset dent at age 4?
20:53 UTC
I always wear condoms!
Just take them out to pee and have sex.
18:07 UTC
"So what's this new thing that's got your dopamine levels up?"
"I already told you: this dope o' mine."
15:17 UTC
My body is a machine.
It turns cigarettes into smoked cigarettes.
14:40 UTC
Last night I was grinding my teeth and woke up my wife.
She marched downstairs, unplugged the grinder and started screaming at me!
13:35 UTC
Today I heard a man tell another man that he wanted his urine.
If I wasn't in the hospital I'd have some questions.
06:52 UTC
When I first heard of the term "Skull****ing", I didn't know what to think.
In response, I just mimicked a skull in front of my crotch and asked, "You mean like ' Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Fellatio."?
06:19 UTC
I'm so rich, i can afford peanut butter
The NIST one though
05:54 UTC
“i know i’m not alone” i said to not only myself, as i stood in the bathroom in the morning. “yeah you aren’t” said gun girl
05:42 UTC
Inside you are two wolves.
But I think the recommended number is zero.
04:24 UTC
I'm too tired.
I must be a bicycle.
03:58 UTC
My 2 friends were boasting about their bfs large penises making their holes much wider.
I just sat there in silence while the Stool sank into my arse.
03:03 UTC
Why he didn't get the role in the porno...
Competition was too stiff.
02:39 UTC
Some Irish woman tried an age gap relationship with me
I was 21 she was "Tirty tree" years old.
02:30 UTC
A thought came to mind when I was in bed admiring the skyline above me.
What the fuck happened to my roof?
01:52 UTC
Some aviation expert at the party was talking at length about these unmanned aircraft, and finally his wife started signaling him to let the topic go
Because he was droning on and on...
01:15 UTC
Laughing, I threw away all my tampons and pads ready to embrace the menopause. Unfortunately, I laughed a little too hard.
23:18 UTC
It's deffo gotta be a myth that cats have nine lives.
My pussy has exploded 10 times this week and it's still going strong.
15:48 UTC
New theories suggest that Marc Antony never did get to fuck Cleopatra or her siblings.
But he did get to fuck her MUMMY
10:10 UTC
Derek Chauvin headlined a Prison Orchestra in tribute to the American Police force.
Critics say it was a "BREATHTAKING"
10:04 UTC
Parallel lines have so much in common.
It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
07:40 UTC
I got a one Direction advent calendar with chocolate in the shape of the band members.
I opened the first window and Liam Payne fell out.
22:40 UTC
I Speak In Cursive.
Seriously, I fuckin' speak in fuckin' CURSive!
21:47 UTC
Did I tell you about the mime who kidnapped me?
He did unspeakable things
15:25 UTC
Why Scar did not tell truth?
Because he was lion.
01:19 UTC
Why do meth heads do it doggy style?
So they can BOTH look out the window...
19:32 UTC
What type of entertainer can manufacture credible sorrow?
Only a top tier actor...
19:26 UTC