I’m the manager of an adult store who went through the wringer during Covid. We are a small business. We lost a loooooong time manager who ran a tight ship. There isn’t any “employee manual” with general guidelines for employees. I’ve started creating one but I’m blanking on what things to include. Any ideas/policies I should make sure to include?

I know the arcade/viewing room only makes a little money in some stores, but I have a few customers who come in just for them.

Some are kind and mind their own business, but I find it odd that they prefer to watch movies at a booth rather than in the comfort of their own home.

I'm curious to know your thoughts on customers who solely visit the store for the purpose of using the arcades or viewing rooms. Do you find it unusual or is it a common occurrence?

I'm about to have an interview for an adult store and I'm really excited! I'm also very nervous as this is the most "extreme" job I've ever had.

Going in should I dress casually or a bit more professional? And what kind of questions can I expect? I assume they'll focus more on the retail parts and then expand into the details after hiring?

I think I'll excel at making customers feel not judged and feel comfortable. My anxiety and empathy work together to be hyper aware of other people's anxiety and I thrive on making it a safe place for all.

I think I'm mostly excited to be able to learn more about sex and kink in an invironment that normalizes it.

Any advice is welcomed and I hope everything goes well!

I’m sure I’ll learn from my coworkers, but wondering if any of you that work at sex shops have any tips to go from newbie to pro quicker? What would do differently?

How has impacted your life? Do notice things differently than you did before you worked there?

Ma'am, that product is black, the color. It's tactical black. It's not flesh-tone. It's not even remotely brown. Holy shit why are you married to such an idiot fucking racist in the first place?

I can understand wanting a flesh-tone toy to look like you, that's perfectly reasonable. But if you're already buying a toy that's not flesh-tone, how the fuck is #000000 black any different from purple, teal, or pink?

I've gotten this comment a depressing number of times in my tenure at the local dildo hut. Usually about the Fun Factory Big Boss whenever we somehow only have the Black Line version in stock. "Oh he'll pitch a fit if I come home with a big black dick."

The worst was for a Fun Factory Tiger. That toy is not even phallic. It doesn't look like a dick at all. It's not threatening your fragile masculinity for it to be black.

To start, I work in adult retail, selling "wellness products" and everything that goes with them (lube, condoms, etc etc).

Obviously, we're very NOT kid-friendly. And, being a corporate store, we're required to check the IDs of everyone who walks through the door. It doesn't matter if you're 18 or 80, we have to see an ID. There's not one, but TWO signs on our front door that says that IDs are required, one of them being in large, bold red letters.

Guy walks in last week.

"Evenin, do you mind if I see an ID right quick?"

"Why?"

Sir you're going off script.

"It is just our policy, sir."

"Well, I don't have my ID."

How did you drive here without your ID.

"You have to have an ID to shop here, it says so right on the door."

"Well, that's stupid."

Not as stupid as not being bothered to take two seconds to read a damn sign, but whatever. This happens at LEAST once or twice a day.

Customer browsing my store for a bit. Picking out plus sized outfits (honestly she wasn't that big, so don't know how much she needed the 'plus sized stuff', but I guess she'd know better than me.)

I'm helping her out best I can, but she's got me opening some of the packages and I'm doing that mental balancing scale in my mind of "do this to make a customer happy" vs "some of these might be hard to repackage if she doesn't get something." Tipped on the side of "I'm judging she WILL make the purchase" and help her out.

Go to ring up the stuff. It wasn't that expensive, but I guess more than she was expected. Her line, mine without missing a beat:

Me: That'll be *total*.

Her: Wow! Fuck me...

Me: *bagging* That'll be extra.

And I got one of the most genuine and spontaneous laughs I've ever gotten from a customer. Apparently "made [her] day."

Don't always get a win like that. Just felt like sharing.

Short little pointless anecdote.

Customer walks in.

Me: "Hey, what can I get you?"

Him: "Oh just some tokens for the booth."

*money/token exchange*

Him: "Man, I haven't been here in a while!"

Me: "..."

I have worked about 116 hours in the last two weeks due to employee drama. In a span of 18 days, I was only not here for 2 days.

I've seen you. Recently. Repeatedly. And honestly, I'm NOT usually the best at recognizing regulars unless they're really regular.

You've been here, man. I don't care. Why do you think I care. And if you think I care, why would you lie so beyond blatantly?

So our store has an online chat feature. Like clockwork he messages us weekly about penis extenders and enlargement products. We know it’s the same guy because he always says the exact same thing. I was curious if any other stores have who have an online chat also get him. I just wanna know if he specifically targets us or does he go down a list whenever he’s horny.

Someone in r/TalesFromYourServer posted a thread talking about 'jokes that always get a laugh from your table.'

I shared a comment, clarifying that I wasn't a server and managed an Adult Store, and someone suggested I post it here. Any time some couple or group comes in, and someone starts laughing or commenting on the extremely oversized dildos, I'll chime up from behind the counter:

"As the great philosopher Socrates once said: 'What's the point of buying a dildo if it's not big enough to double as a bedside weapon?'
No home invade wants to spend his first night in jail explaining that the neck brace is because some chick broke his jaw with a 12" cock. It's a really bad first impression."

Anyone who's worked a porn store for more than a month knows that in the end, it's basically just a retail job like any other. Depending on the location (or services), just with a bit more giggly (or creepy) average customer base. Anyone else got a go-to comment you'll give people that always manages a laugh?

Originally posted in r/TalesFromYourServer because I didn't know where else to post it (only been on reddit a couple months, just didn't belong in any other sub I followed) and it was suggested I post here instead. Everything after this intro paragraph is the original longwinded ranty post:

Native English speaker and on desktop. Spelling/grammar mistakes are my own damn fault and should be mocked.

Not some insane story, just some misc tale that I felt like 'telling someone' so to speak.

So I'm currently managing a sex shop. The story won't be terribly (or at all really) nsfw, but I'll tag it as such nonetheless as I won't dance around potentially necessary details. I'm 50% Italian by blood, and... I REALLY like the jokes and stereotypes about "Italians talking with their hands," because apparently I'm pretty damn good at it. Every job I've worked, not just here, if some customer came in who didn't speak any English (and no one on staff spoke their language), I was the one who could usually figure out what they were looking for via gestures alone.

But it's getting stress tested lately. The store they sent me to manage has a LARGE amount of non-english speakers. Some I can manage to help. Some completely shut down and don't bother trying to communicate the second I mention I don't speak their language. Some... I swear are just messing with me. They'll ask a product's price, I'll freaking type it into a calculator to show them the total. They'll hand me not remotely enough money. Like... you use the same numerals as me. Are you trying to tell me you speak so little English that you no longer know your own numbers?

Have a few tales of such customers... but today I have a success story.

We've had a deaf customer coming in recently. Didn't even know he was deaf at first, just thought he was ignoring me (because some people want as minimal interaction as possible when they go into a sex shop), but didn't take too long to figure it out.

First time he came in he bought some tokens for the booths, came out like a minute later, then got my attention that his phone was low on charge and could he plug his phone in. I plugged his phone in at the outlet behind the counter, and once he got some charge he started texting on it. Wasn't exactly convenient, spot he was using was at the checkout counter right by the door. But wasn't a terribly big deal, so I just turned a blind eye.

Now, I need to explain (as ungraphically as I can) what 'the booths' are. Some of these stores, like the one I'm in charge of, have 'viewing booths' in the back. Basically, private booths where you drop a token in and a porno comes on for so many minutes. There's a few rules, like 1 person per booth, and you have to buy tokens before you go back there. You can't just wander back there without buying any tokens.

The reason is... a lot of people ignore that '1 person per booth' rule, and use such places as a cheap hookup spot. We tend to turn a blind eye to it because, well, while it isn't exactly the big bucks, we still want customers to come back and spend more here. If someone's being blatant about it, annoying other customers, etc, we'll kick their ass out. If someone outright asks what you're allowed to do back there, we'll dance around the subject and under no circumstances say outright that you can get away with illicit behavior back there.

But we generally turn a blind eye to it. BUT you have to buy tokens in advance, you have to buy a minimum, you can't just stroll in and go back there. Or buy tokens that would only last like 15 minutes of 'screen time' and then slum around back there for like an hour or 2.

But the deaf customer... he came back a few times. And his behavior the first time wasn't a fluke. He'd buy his entrance batch of tokens, go back there for like a minute, then try to let his phone charge at our counter and just chill there waiting to see if someone more appealing showed up and went to the back. In which case he'd peak back there, and presumably if they weren't biting, he'd be back out in a minute again.

He would do this for hours, killing time in the store, letting his phone charge, and leaning up on one side of my checkout counter right by the entrance.

I honestly should have shut it down the first, or absolutely by the second time. But short of pulling out a piece of scrap paper and writing everything down, I didn't know how to tell him, "Look, dude, you can't just spend $5 for some tokens and then clog up my entrance for hours at a time, blatantly looking for some action." Not to mention... we only have 1 employee in the store at a time. Which means if I ever want to step out for a smoke break, or need to use the bathroom, I have to make sure there's no one on the sales floor. Can't have unsupervised customers browsing around, so if he just chills out on the main sales floor all this time, I can't grab a short break even if the store is otherwise empty.

Well he came back in again today, I gave an internal sigh and sold him his tokens. He poked his head out a minute later and asked to plug his phone in again.

And I basically bullshitted him via pantomime on the spot.

Big "X" arm sign with an apologetic look. Pointed up to the cameras in the store. Gesture-pointed my eyes, then the cameras, then my chest. Wave hands no, leaned up against the counter, then pointed to the clock, and circled around it like hours passing. And finally an apologetic bow.

"I'm so sorry. Our store cameras watch us, and we're not supposed to let people just hang out by the counter for hours at a time. Again, sorry."

And... he got the message. Like, immediately. Best part is... that was only 'sorta bullshitting him'. What I was telling him was true, it just wasn't that big a deal to whoever might randomly be checking the cameras at the time. It was more that it was annoying me this was happening for like the 5th time.

I felt so freaking proud of myself for getting that message across.

...until literally as I was typing this.

After he 'got the message', he stepped out for a bit. I felt like bragging about my amazing Italian gesturing abilities. Then... he came back in. Found another outlet along the wall, and is hanging out there now. Leaving his phone on one of the product shelves to charge any time he steps back to check the booths.

I'm seriously tempted to take the phone and huck it across the street while it's unattended. Ain't my job to look after it, other customers come in here too, any one could just swipe it, and once again he seems to be planning to just hang around on the store floor for a while putting a serious damper on any ability of mine to grab a smoke or a pee break.

urg...

Thank you for bearing with my crazed ranting, bragging, and karmic backlash venting all in near real time.

I’ve been working at adult stores for about a year and a half now and at all of them I’ve noticed that old people don’t read signs like…at all. We have a million warnings coming in “don’t say poppers”, “you will need to show ID for all card purchases”, and so on, and most older customers get upset and when I tell them it was on a sign as soon as they walked in in big red bold letters, they say “I didn’t read it”

And idk about you all, but I feel like I never choose to read a sign anywhere, like consciously I don’t make a decision to read a sign I’ve just looked in a direction and read a sign already without even thinking about it at any place I go to, does anyone else have this happen at their stores?

Hi! Just discovered this sub, but I've been working for a small chain of adult shops going on two years. I know it's bias but I feel as though my most interesting stories were from my first few months, when my shifts didn't yet feel as monotonous as restocking cereal in a grocery store. Whenever people ask about my most memorable encounters with The Public, this story is the first one that comes to mind.

We've all been asked about the biggest dildo that our stores carry. Whether that question was posed over the phone by a squeaky-voiced preteen at a slumber party (on the morning shifts, a lunch table) or in person by someone looking to make a homophobic joke to impress their assembled friends, the answer has always rounded back to one of our standard 11+ King Cocks by Pipedream or one of the special orders, like the Ice Pick by Icon Brands or the spectacular 14 inch Daddy from the Au Naturel line by Blush. Either way, someone's always got an answer.

What we didn't have the answer to was the question that was posed next, by a sixty-something man on a Friday morning in June: "Can I drill a hole up through the base of it?"

How wide a hole are we talking? How deep into the core of the toy? With what tools? For what purpose? Would the material even withstand the loss of /any/ internal structural integrity?

He explained that it didn't have to go far. Only as far as the gear shift of his son in law's fresh off the lot Jeep would require for full coverage. He reassured us that he wouldn't be using any sort of adhesive that could damage the gear shift, just wanted to give the guy a very mild heart palpitation. And he indeed bought one of our biggest, a King Cock treasure. We've been waiting for the pictures ever since.

Like personally, I get really annoyed by the large amount of “just came in here to look around” customers who always come in with friends or their spouse and they always laugh at virtually all the toys (ESPECIALLY any LGBT leaning toys), don’t buy anything, and leave after being there for half an hour

So in the adult store, there’s a door to the arcade where you put $5 in to unlock the door. Then there’s a bunch of booths with glory holes and whatnot. However, immediately on the left there’s a door that says Theater on it, and it’s another $5 to go in here. What’s in this room?

Pic related.

Seriously though, it's been two years since people first starting asking for this. When is the trend going to die? It's cutting into my Womanizer and Satisfyer sales with worthless knockoff trash that breaks at the drop of a hat, is difficult to clean, is too big to comfortably fit most people's bodies, and starts off so agressively strong it can cause bleeding.

Spoiler alert: if five different brands are selling the exact same product under different names, it's just cheap dropshipped crap you can get for $10 in bulk on AliBaba.

I'm even getting in Rose shaped ball gags and butt plugs; will it ever stop?!

I quit my adult retail job a while back, due to management behaving poorly, and never posted this writeup of an interaction with a first time customer:

Two young women, a newbie and her girlfriend, carrying some planned purchases, walked into the area I was organizing.

Newbie (to me): Do you get horny all the time working in here?

Me: No… if I did, I wouldn't work here, because I like to be somewhat professional. I'd think being horny here all the time would hinder that.

Newbie: Huh (thoughtfully). Not to be TMI, but (starts describing in detail how being in the store makes her horny)

Newbie's GF: (cuts her off with a whispered) stop it! (To me) I apologize for her…

Me: We do discourage that type of TMI. But details can be good for me for helping customers, and graphic description doesn't have to be titillating. Basically, don't tell me a porn.

Them: laughing

Me: It's ok to feel horny in the store, it's what you do about it that matters. Plus at least you folks are buying something, and aren't a foreplay couple who come in all over each other and dirty talking to get revved up and leave without buy anything.

We talked a little more after that. Once they'd left, I wished I'd said something like, "I don't think many customers would be comfortable knowing they're being helped by someone aroused by working here." Just to see horny woman's reaction to that.

Because I think she was just asking for relatability, but I think most people would find it creepy for someone whose job was helping people find stuff for their sex lives using those people to fulfill their own kink. Consent issues, anyone?

Plus, from the employee perspective, I feel like if one worked in a sex shop and it made them horny all the time, it'd be like super masochistic mental edging? Which isn't my jam, though it is some people's kink.

Anyway. At some point maybe I'll write up a few memorable ooollld interactions (from before I found this sub) that are burned into my brain. Like "a crash course in consent to drunk lady with dubious morality".

(saw this sub on the can't believe it exists sub and knew I had to post this)

Years ago (15?), I was working for a temp service that did "work today, paid today" type work. One day, someone popped positive on a drug test at a job site where most of us worked, and they didn't want us back. So every morning we would walk in and wait for a job. It was rare one was available.

One fatefut day, the phone rang and the receptionist talked for a bit. Everyone was hopeful. The phone was hung up and she said the magic words "I've got a job..." Everyone stood up...

"...You need a clean record...", Just 5 of us left standing...

"...and a valid driver's license."... Just me...

I meekly approach the counter as everyone stares. She says "I've got a job in a dirty warehouse, but I don't mean dust". Oh... Do tell. She goes on to explain it is a local supplier for a chain of adult stores.

Week 1 I learn how they F over magazine customers by making 3 packs with a decent mag in front, a mediocre mag in the back, and a crappy no name mag in the middle with the other 2 set so you can't even see the spline if the middle one, all tightly shrink-wrapped. We would also strip the "bonus" DVDs out of the magazines for some weird legal reasons and trash them. (Side note, we had to pull the covers off of Playboy, return the covers, and shred the rest)

Week 2 I move over to toy packing. The dude showing us the ropes (literay and figuratively) had a gnarly zigzag scar down his neck. It's one of those scars where you get really curious and just have to ask.

I finally got the nerve to ask him WTF happened and he didn't even bat an eye, just replied "got cock-slapped" and kept talking about the boxes. I interrupted him, and asked for clarification. He repeated himself, and after a bit finally told me what happened....

Dude was working one day, bumped the racking too hard, and a Great American Challenge came falling down from the top rack... The blister pack caught his neck, and he damn near bled out. Another coworker had to hold him together while they waited for an ambulance. Hospital stitched him up as best they could. He joked that it's so jagges because the surgeon was laughing about it, because he told them the same thing, got cock-slapped.

Week 3 I learned the delivery routes, learned which stores were cool, which ones sucked, and which ones to not drive near at night.

Week 4 another new worker and I learned we can (and we're encouraged to) buy stuff at cost for resale. They made duffle bag kits for bachelorette parties and him and I threw a few to make extra money.

Weeks went on until a few months in, one of the newer guys with a drug problem went on a delivery route and never returned... They found the van near one of the bad stores, emptied out...

Boss got pissed and told all of us temps to go home as he couldn't trust any of us... That sucked...

I went to one of the stores I delivered to awhile back and was surprised to recognize the gal behind the counter. She let me know they did eventually find him. He sold everything and went on a drug bender...

I remember in college making easy side money selling those trashed bonus DVDs... Good times....

I sold my socks..

I sold my socks for $110. Short and simply, he had a foot fetish, thought I was the prettiest girl he’s seen in a sex shop and asked me to let him sniff my feet in the back while he wanked it for $300. No dude I’m at work, Im not getting fired for 300 bucks. He insists that I sell him my socks then and let him take a few pics of my feet for $110…sold lol I took my shoes and socks off and gave it to him, he snapped a few pics and gave me the cash. I’m 110 dollars richer and down one pair of used Mandalorian socks.

Currently sitting here at work. Minding my own business. Old crunchy dude walks in and belts out “hi bitch can I please have two bottles of jungle juice platinum?” I was in shock, i stared for a minute. And I said, did you just call me a bitch? No ma’am I wouldn’t call you a bitch…excuse me but you just fucking called me a bitch loud and clear I’m not hallucinating. What did you say then….ummm idk I don’t remember what I said…you called me a fucking bitch and you’re lucky I need this fucking sale right now or I’d tell you to get the fuck out, here’s your drugs, gimme $85 and get out…

🤔🤔 I can’t…

Does anyone else have people pull up early and try and follow you through the door? 😒 I’m 15 mins early, currently sitting here drinking my coffee and finishing up my podcast before I go in and this guy pulls up beside my car and stares a hole through the side of my head 😑 dude, I’m not moving till I have to. He pulled off at least and didn’t try and follow me through the door like others have done….ughhhh good morning…

I’m usually on Sunday doubles 😑 from open to close and I work in a store with booths in the back. I have to say, I don’t know what it is about Sunday mornings and Sunday in general but they just are chomping at the bit to get in here and tug on the ole worm. My token sales are always huge on Sunday doubles.

A little background, we used to have a booth cleaner that would come twice a week to clean and sanitize which was more like a quick sweep and mop and 100 cigarette breaks and him dropping his own load and leaving after stretching it for 6 hours. Store manager called him out and he quit. I’m in a position where I could use extra cash so I talked to the general manager and I started doing it once a week for cash. Sigh….

Anyway, it’s Sunday morning and I wake up with my period and it’s kicking my ass full force so I’m already weak of mind when walking in. I had just deep cleaned a few days ago but when I walked in the door the stench of piss hit me in the face 😡 I’m fuming, I should have to mop grown man piss and sit and smell this for 14 hours fucking straight?! Arghhhh! Anyway I wrote up a sign that says back is closed for mopping, never unlocked the back door and proceed to spend the first 40 mins on the clock mopping the back booths so that I don’t have to smell this all damn day. Wasn’t dressed for this, I’m sweating my ass off, I’m mad, I get done and come back up. I decided I’m not opening the booths until I’m damn well ready and I feel like I don’t smell pee anymore cuz now I’m being a petty bitch. I also left the music off all day to sit in silence so I can hear when someone decided to piss cuz I was gonna catch them this time.

Boy oh boy the butthurt. I had someone call to tell me to open the back door. No fuck head, I’m not, don’t tell me what to do. Over and over tantrum and attitude from the geriatric crew that loves it here. Oh well. I opened it about an hour and half after open, wasn’t even that long 😑

Then the three ring circus ensues. I’m busy as fuck with paying customers buying actual products. The entitlement of the back crew this day brought me to the edge. I had a couple spending hundreds and this guy squeezes his ass up to lean over them and tell me he wants $5 for the booths as I’m ringing them up. I’m like dude, stop being rude and wait your turn.

I had one blatantly come out from the back to stare straight at two women looking at strapons, I’m like YO GET IN THE BACK! Like seriously? Are you serious right now?! Ughhh…

Oh and the phone calls…oh the phone calls…one asked me what scent lube he should use for a big fat ass. Another asking me for panties that lets his cock hang out so his man can suck it (regular caller) and another wanting me to price out a million dvds and got mad when I told him hey dude I got a store full of people here, come in or get on porn hub cuz idk what to tell you.

Finally the craziness wanes, it’s getting late, I’m on the phone with my friend venting about my bad day, as I’m talking I’m looking at our camera that lets me see the back door where people go in and out. As I’m watching, this fuck walks up to my back door and begins trying to disable the electronic bell that goes off when people come and go. This is where I lost it.

I start absolutely losing my shit screaming, WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING MY FUCKING DOOR!!!!!!!! He immediately runs out. I begin my verbal slew of venting my distaste. I’m shouting about how grown men piss on the floor in a public place and why should I mop your fucking piss! You all wonder why us workers give you an attitude when you pull shit like this!!! You try to disable my bell, risking my fucking safety!!! You disrespect this place and it’s workers over and over and you want decency!!! Be decent!!!! I’m walking around angrily and open the back door and shout at the culprit as he’s running away, DONT TOUCH MY FUCKING DOOR!! Meanwhile, the store is silent cuz I don’t have the music on and the back is FULL with people. It was dead quiet, you could hear a pin drop lol then I see a dude hovering by the entrance to the back staring at me, like are you dumb? Don’t you hear me melting down? I scream GET IN THE FUCKING BACK!! He says, I wanted to see what you’re yelling about, GET IN THE BACK OR GET OUT!!!! Scurry’s off…silence….I cry, I calm down. I tell my managers. They calm me down. I tell them I’m not cleaning no more. Find someone else.

I felt bad the next couple days when the back was a ghost town on my shifts lol I’m usually the nicest to them as most of the other people here treat them less than trash. But I get why everyone is shitty with them, it sucks to deal with grown men who act like children.

When they finally did start coming back on my shifts, they were being kinder than normal. I think they got the point lol

PSA GUYS: If you like to visit these types of places and spend time here, please respect the fact that other people come here to shop and we workers have to be here 8-15 hours a day. Piss outside ok? Put your gum in the trash. Don’t shit or puke on the floors. Don’t oogle shy women looking at toys. Wait your turn to buy tokens. Be a fucking respectful human being. Try to put yourself in our shoes. You wouldn’t like it and we don’t either. This isn’t a free for all here and you must obey the rules. Period.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Working here I’ve seen and heard a whole hell of a lot. You can’t shock me. I’m pretty much a stone face for any and every thing you can throw at me. But tonight…I’m flabbergasted, there’s no other word to describe it.

Got a phone call tonight and got asked the most fucked up question and then berated when I answered.

This guy has the literal audacity to call my store and ask me if himself and his wife can bring their small children in with them to shop. To which I responded, absolutely not, no one under the age of 18 is allowed inside. He huffed and puffed and asked, well why not? Well sir, because this is not a store for children and it’s against the law for anyone under the age of 18 to be permitted in the store, with parents or not.

Well he proceeds to tell me that we run a funny business here because he was allowed to bring his young children in before (he absolutely was not allowed to do this, I know for a fact). And tells me he’s going to leave a bad yelp review as if I’m supposed to care he’s about to tell the world he wanted to bring his kids in a sex store while he shopped 🙈 I replied ok go ahead goodbye and hung up 🤷🏻‍♀️

I sat here shocked and just had to group text the store manager and general manager, both of which were also shocked.

I get that parents of small kids don’t always have the luxury of being alone without the kids around to do this kinda shopping, but you shouldn’t want to expose your young children to this type of shit so young…? Like what kind of parents are you? I’ve had couples take turns sitting in the car with the kids while the other comes in to look etc. there are ways around it if need be.

Anyway yea, that happened tonight. Still sitting here weirded out. I know who the parent of the year award is going to 😑🙄

Warning, this is long, I'm a wordy and detail-oriented motherfker, no TLDR because if you don't want all the details then you can't have the story, sorry. Most phones have a screen reader utility that will read the content on your screen aloud to you.

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Preface: we're a fairly nice store, actually, aimed at a "young couples and women" demographic, brightly lit interior and super friendly staff, etc. We have worked HARD to create this atmosphere, closely monitor our customers and aisles to make sure that even the most nervous and apprehensive of first-timers feels comfortable, doesn't feel judged or spied on or harassed by anyone who might get the wrong idea about this being a good place to, ah, make friends or anything. So we're understandably pretty defensive of keeping that intact, lest someone who's visiting for the first time have a bad experience and never return, or worse, post about it on social media and then we get the wrong kind of publicity. :sigh:

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So naturally, when an older couple entered the store today and asked me to use our restroom, I used a polite and apologetic tone to tell her that our single restroom was already occupied, but I'd be happy to let her know when it became available. She seemed to accept this answer, albeit with a bit of dissatisfaction, but I get it -- sometimes you Gotta Go and being told to wait just makes it worse. Not two minutes later, though, she asked again, and I was a little firmer in telling her that it was still occupied, but should be open soon (I knew the person in there, and was certain they weren't doing anything untoward or taking a nap or anything). The closed door is visible to both me and her from where we were standing at the desk; I'm not sure what she thought asking again would accomplish.

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The phone rings, and I answer and let the poor, quiet, stuttering, shy caller begin to explain what they were asking about -- until I realized that I had gone from 3 customers on the floor (the couple and another shopper who was already here) to 2, and the old lady had quietly waddled out the back door to our back parking lot. I thought to myself, "didn't those two park in the front?" and then it hit me -- oh no. I follow her out, and sure enough: RIGHT BESIDE the stairs to the door, she has nestled into the little nook between the stair rail and the AC cage, and popped a squat with her pants down, back to the building wall, and (presumably because she noticed the door opening before I laid eyes on her -- thank the gods of mental health for that) is hastily tugging up the front portion of her Depends. Sadly, the back portion didn't make it up in time, and I did get an eyeful of saggy ol' lady ass. She's still in the squat position, looking dolefully up at me like a dog who's just shit on your living room carpet.

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https://images.app.goo.gl/dkKpMpnBAy2MQ4xS7 but with more wrinkly butt cheeks :(

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"Ma'am," I say, calm on the exterior though fully panicking inside, "this is not okay. I -- I am going to need you to clean this up, and I think I need to call the police now." She nods, and thankfully stands up and prepares to follow me inside. As I enter, the bathroom is now available (I TOLD HER IT WOULD BE), so she comes in and I tell her she may use the restroom now if she'd like, and she does (whether to finish her business or clean up afterward, who knows). I grab paper towels, disinfectant spray, and a trash bag. I hand them to her, and she goes outside and does ... whatever, and throws the bag into the outdoor can.

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While she's out there, I call my boss, and say, "So, I have a woman who needed to use the restroom, but someone was in there, so she ah, went out back 🤢... I caught her, and I'm having her clean it up, but do I need to take additional precautions, call the police, what??" Y'all I do love my boss but he was fully useless 😂 "Are you telling me she TOOK A DUMP OUTSIDE???" "...yes." "OH MY GOD!! What the hell! WHat the fuck?!" "Yeah, I, uh, I don't know either. Just, like, ??" "WHAT THE HELL I CAN'T, THIS NEVER HAPPENS" and at this point I notice the other customer, the one who was here before the couple arrived, has heard what I said and figured it out, and is hurriedly and horrifiedly trying to complete her shopping and head up to the cash register. I hang up with my boss, after adding a pointed "I know! I've been here SEVEN YEARS and THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED or ANYTHING LIKE IT" in hope she understands THIS LITERALLY DOESN'T HAPPEN HERE, give her a discount on her purchase, "as an apology for what you just had to witness," and try to send her on her way. She heads toward the front door, but not before asking me "is it safe to go out this way?" I collapsed in humiliation before answering her that yes, as far as I was aware, the front door was safe.

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Sqwat lady comes back in and I direct her toward the hand sanitizer stations that we have at the doors. She makes a perfunctory apology to me -- though it's pretty clear to me she's sorry she got caught, not that she did it. I tell her "I understand sometimes emergencies happen, but we have always only had one bathroom. It's not a guarantee that anyone will be able to use it on any given day or time. The thing to do would have been to get back in your car and go 3.5 minutes down the road to the McDonald's." She says, "I couldn't do that. It would have been all down my legs," and all I can think of to say is, "well now it's in my parking lot, and that's not better." 🤬

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Then...to my surprise...she and her partner CONTINUE SHOPPING. AS THOUGH NOTHING HAS HAPPENED. Touching the products on hangers, discussing what they want to buy. I gape in awe at the sheer audacity, and me and my coworker exchange glances before I go ahead and whisper "I mean...should I just kick them out??" I felt bad, because she's older, and was wearing a Depends, so clearly she didn't exactly have a young robust elimination system, which is NOT her fault ... but at the same time, if you KNOW you have a condition that means that lack of a restroom is suddenly a shit-your-pants-PROBLEM in under 2 minutes, you PROBABLY should reconsider visiting places that only have one toilet, and/or evacuate yourself before you DO visit, and/or consider wearing a high-capacity containment garment. Do NOT pretend that parking-lot-shitting is a totally normal activity and unpunishable, do NOT be only sorry that you got caught and not sorry you did it. So my coworker violently nods her head, and I think "okay, cool, I'm not overreacting here by not wanting to kick them out." We fake a call-back from the boss, and tell the couple that our manager has decided that we don't need to call the police on them for public indecency THIS TIME, but that they would be placed on the ban list and not welcome back in the store.

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The man cops an attitude and goes "so I can't buy anything today?" and at this point I've HAD IT with their nonsense, so I say, NO, you'll both need to leave now. They get snarky and mumble under their breath on the way out, and I just quietly watch them go, because I want them to leave more than I want to set them straight about who exactly was in the wrong here, but lord...I feel like my whole store is, ugh, contaminated. I want to dip my hands in concentrated acid (especially since we realized, after she left, that the roll of paper towels she brought back in had some kind of ... smears ... on it) and let the skin slough off. I want to spray down my shelves and racks in bleach, or just close down the store and gas the place entirely.

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So what's the takeaway here, folks?

THINGS YOU BUY ( in ANY store tbh) COULD HAVE BEEN TOUCHED BY MS POOPY HANDS. WASH THEM BEFORE YOU WEAR THEM!!!!

Recently went to a booth for the first time and had an amazing experience, but I left with questions and wondered if you could all help for next time.

1. An older man offered to give me a blowjob, as interested as I was all the signs said “No sexual contact” and I didn’t want to have any problems on my first time. Is that an often overlooked rule or did I do the right thing?
2. When using the booth I felt like people kept knocking on my door? Is this a common thing?

Sorry if I come off as naive just excited to go again and this seemed the best place for answers. Thank you.

Hey all,

I have an interview for a kink/BD$M adult shop tomorrow and I'm quite nervous, probably because I really want the job. I've wanted it for a while, but only applied now. I have experience working in my local kink scene and my resume lists that so I'm hoping that was a factor in getting invited for an interview? (The owner is also a part of the kink scene and knows the people I worked with)

So I'm confident in my abilities about being comfortable on sex & kink topics, I'm just a nervous interviewee lol. I've worked with customers just never retail specifically.

Will it be good to show my enthusiasm for working there? Also general tips to come off as confident etc, and insight from other managers here what you look for in a candidate?

Thanks!

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TL;DR - Need tips for interview tomorrow at local kink-sex shop

I wasn’t sure if they liked me or not but they said “we’re gonna do a background check and in about 3 business days we’ll let you know” and I’m just nervous, but is this something adult store managers usually say or is it safe to say I got the position I just need to pass the background check?

What’s up everyone? Here in the Memphis area we’ve got several adult novelty shops across town and I have been in two of them for different things. The biggest one that has multiple locations has an arcade. I have heard that some arcades around the world and country have a hole in the wall for people from the other booths can look at you jacking off or fingering your pussy while watching porn in the booth and if you see a finger poke through it’s a sign of hey you want to get kinky. Any truth to that or is it just a pornhub thing?

More or less the title. I'll give more context - I live with people and while I have my own private room when I want to use a toy I use a condom.

Silly I know, but the cleaning could be a hassle and I don't want to be seen taking a toy in and out of the bathroom. I use talc and all that for some toys too, I know the importance of that.