Hello my lovelies!!! It’s been a while has it not? 🧐 anyways it’s long overdue so welcome to my next dose of daily shitery. So no I haven’t died or quit my job. In all honestly I love the job too much. As much as the shitty days happens, a lot of good days happens too. Anyways, I’m sure you’re not here to listen or read about me yapping about boring shit.

So this Halloween your girl here decided to dress up. After so many years of being nonchalant about it all I decided to dress up for work, maybe I was just lazy to get off work and dress up afterwards. 🤷🏻‍♀️ who knows 😂. So dressed as an anime demon cat or whatever you want to call it I went to work that day with a pretty happy mindset if you ask me.

The day was pretty good, at least it started pretty good. A compliment here and there a little look here and there, not too bad if I say so myself. Then walks in a 75yr old man. Now mind you I have no opinion yet about a new customer I have never seen before coming in. With a positive attitude I greeted him with warm smiles and my undivided attention. Honestly at around this time it was slow so why not 😅

He came in didn’t talk at first, but after many attempts to get him to feel comfortable he finally started talking. He mentioned about a sounder device. It wasn’t unusual but not a common topic many pplz talked about. He expressed that after having a catheter in him he developed a kink and slowly started to stretch out his urethra any chance he get. I showed him some of the ones we carried and he told me he wanted something just a little bigger.

We talked a bit more and he mention he also wanted to get his fuck buddy a vibrator so of course i showed him the goodies for females that we carried. I’m not sure how we ended up talking about bondage items but he said his lady friend love it when he’s a little rough on her nipples. “Okay…then” was my thoughts.

I laughed off some of the stuff he was saying because it was getting a little graphic. I’m all for sex talk but this was a bit much show and tell to a person you don’t even know. But I didn’t say anything, I just smiled and laughed awkwardly. I showed him a different toy when the next thing I knew he was right up behind me his breath was hot against my ears and he whispered “I really love to eat pussy and I can go on for hours.” I instinctively moved away and kinda just walked to the comfort of my counter and a good 5 feet away from his face.

He kept looking at me and mentioned that I was super cute and that I was also kind to him. As if that super creepy moment ago didn’t happened. After that i stayed behind the counter and answered whatever questions he threw at me . I did my best to make sure it didn’t feel forced . He stayed a little while longer but once he figured I got busy with the swarm of arcaders coming in he said goodbye, didnt buy anything and left

Maybe he had a bipolar moment? 🧐🧐 like he really acted like he didn’t just creeped me out a moment before and just went on talking about whatever he had in mind. Anyways sorry if it wasn’t that entertaining. Just wanted to share with you guys that’s all . Bye for now ❤️😘

What was it like? How did you feel the first time you gave a class or did a party?

I have a job interview wednesday at a sex shop and i’ve never worked at one and curious what interview questions i will be asked. does anyone have any idea?

Hello Again and welcome to my daily dose of shitery 😂😂 so I was planning to tell you guys a stories from when I first started this job and work my way down. However yesterday nonsense put me in such a weird mood that I need to vent about it.

Two situations happened yesterday. Thank god they weren’t back to back, I swear I would’ve pulled my hair if it was. The audacity and the mindset of some people are very questionable. Now see here, I’m pretty open and almost completely desensitized by the shit I see on a daily basis however, there are still things that creeps me to the core.

Here I was working my morning shift, it was one of those boring days, shit I mean it isn’t poppin like McDonald’s you know? So anyways, here I was cleaning the display cases a man walks in. It was around noon, this older gentleman probably aged between 50s-60s came in. I greeted him with a smile and like every customer I said, “hello sir, how you today? Are you looking for anything in particular?” He smiled, “Oh nice you’re here.” Awkward…Was my thought.

I laughed awkwardly trying to remember if I’ve seen him before, I don’t. There are so many pplz that walk through these doors, if you are not a regular I definitely won’t remember you. He started off by saying, “I was here a couple days ago, you and another girl was talking about sex and I was turned on by your voice. You’re very sexy.” “Uhm… thank you.” I mean what else could I have said?

His eyes locked on my chest and he blurted out, “you have nice boobs..are you wearing a bra?” I instinctively tried to pull my top up. Another guy walked in and waiting in line to go into the arcade heard this and looked at me with a look of shock etched on his face. “Well I’ve taken enough of your time, here’s $5 tip for being so beautiful.” And he just left. Didn’t buy shit and made me hella uncomfortable and just left?!!! Like wtf 🤬 the guy who came for the arcade who was waiting just looked at me with an apologetic look, “I’m sorry you had to go through that.” I just sighed, “yea…”

The second situation happened almost at the end of my shift, maybe around 3 ish? Here I am still irked about the situation earlier that day and tried to not let it get to me and this guy comes in with a huge smile on his face and greeted me very happily. I pushed my irritated feelings aside and greeted him as warmly as I could muster.

He went on talking about how this is his first time in a place like this, he asked how busy it gets, and if he could bring his wife to the booth as well. He asked if they’ll get in trouble if they have sex in there. I explained to him that as long as I don’t hear it or anyone complains I don’t really care. He proceeded with “My wife is an exhibitionist, she likes to be watch. I like it as well when people watch us fuck.” Im all for share and tell most times but today I honestly didn’t really care the other guy fucked up my mood and I just wanted the day to end. So all I said was “Oh…” “Do you like to watch? Would that interest you?” “No” I replied. I went about doing my thing giving him the hint I’d like to cut it short, he changed the subject and asked to watch the movies in the back room. I told him it’s “$10 for 40 minutes” he smiled and thank me and went into the booth.

I sighed, geez… today is so draining. I went on my phone leaning against the display case scrolling on TikTok when the guy from earlier walked out of the arcade. It hasn’t been even 10 minutes, at least I think. “You know what sucks about the arcade?” He asked. I honestly really didn’t care so I said, “No” He continues, “cuz you’re in there watching a hot ass porn and you get horny and come out of there and see a hot girl and you can’t do anything about it.” “Okay…” I muttered. Now I’m creeped out, like dude if that was a pick up line you’ve failed. I cut the conversation short and went back on my phone while he eerily looked at me. Like just leave already dude. I mentally screamed.

“Alright, it was nice meeting you, I’m gonna go.” He said. Too eagerly I said, “you have a nice day sir.” His eyes wide and creepy smile was plaster on his face he walked up to the counter and said, “I’m going to have a great day, do you know why?” I moved away from the counter looking at him weird but it seems to only add to his amusement. He smiled even wider, I’m gonna go home and jack off thinking about you.” I’m disgusted at this point and I’m sure he sees it. He just smiles and walked out of the store.

Like who in their right minds say something like that?? Definitely not a day I want to remember… 🤢🤢😤 until next time guys 😘

Hello and welcome to my daily dose of shitery 🤪 anyways, here’s a little story that happened many moons ago. But before that, let me tell you why I am telling you this story today. I had a customer today who asked me what was the craziest shit I’ve seen. of course I was thinking hard and in all honesty, there is way too many to count. So I picked one relating to the stuff he has on the counter and was ready to purchase. I mean why not? Haha it was a funny story anyway, I’m sure he won’t mind.

So this story happens around 2015, I’m almost certain 😂 this was when Craigslist meet and greet was super popular… if you know what I mean 😅

So anyways, I was working behind the counter, I was pretty bored. It was one of those days, those slow and dragging day. I remember I had orders to do let me tell you, inventory use to suck balls with the old system. Wow…technology definitely came a long way if you think about it. Doing inventory takes forever. Normally l I don’t mind it but at this time I had no patience with it.

So as I was doing inventory; scan, process, receive, save, print barcode, and repeat… A man came in. Now see here, I work alone, I don’t have security I am my own security. Of course I’m going to be wary of pplz who walks through that door. So I put on my cheery smile and greet the guy. “Hello sir, how are you today? Are you looking for anything in particular?” He replied, “not really, but I will let you know.”

In my head I was like “nice!” Someone who isn’t shy. Of course there’s nothing wrong with shy people. Hell, I used to be hella shy too! believe it or not. It’s just I didn’t want it to be awkward when I’m asking them and they act like they can’t hear me or get mad cause I’m in their business you know?

It’s been about 5 minutes since he’s checking out the stuff, we made idle chit chat and stuff and again I was making conversation so that I’m not being creepy just quietly staring at him. Being my own security, I have to watch people. He explained to me why he was there, as it turns out he was meeting a girl who he met on Craigslist. They’ve been talking for 2 months and she was finally daring enough to invite him to her house to have a bit of experiment. Odd choice of words I thought. But it was exactly that.

He grabbed our biggest anal plug called the “Ass Master” shit look like a construction cones you see on the roads, that thing was big. In all honestly I didn’t think that shit would ever sale. I mean who in their right mind would stick that shit up their ass?

He brought it up to the counter and I’m over here trying not to stare or think about it. I’m a Pisces, words become visual in my mind when I’m thinking. He also picked out a lube and some condoms, again my mind went somewhere else, he ain’t trying to use it on the cone right? Cuz that shit ain’t gonna fit.

I started to ring him up when he asked, “You think this is a good toy to experiment on? We were watching this videos on gapers and wanted to try it.” Now I don’t like making comments, I’m low-key scared to hurt people feeling. However my mind was already reeling and I blurted out, “I feel bad for her asshole.” He chucked and asked, “Why?” I couldn’t help myself and said, “Dude if that huge shit goes up her ass, she won’t be able to fart anymore, she gonna start whistling out of her ass.”

When I tell you he started busting out laughing, I mean tears out of the corner of his eyes. For the life of me i didn’t think it was funny at the time I was really serious. Like I sincerely felt sorry for her “Ass” after he laughed he said she was okay with trying it but if it got uncomfortable he would stop it at once. It was just an “Experiment” Long story short, he really bought it, thank me for the laugh and walked out that door.

Back to the present the guy who I told this story too started laughing as well. “You really deal with some weird shit huh” he asked. “Duh, I love my job” I laughed. He thank me for the story, paid for the product and proceeded about his day. 😂 nothing too crazy today. But I just thought it was a funny story to share. I don’t always meet the crazies you know 😂

Welcome back to my daily dose of shittery, have you ever dealt with someone so ridiculous that you’ll always remember? Well here’s a little story about a little old lady who came into the shop when I barely started working at the adult shop.

Now, I’m usually nice, I’d greet you with a smile and always eager to help…most time that is 😅 So one very normal day, a couple came into the store. Cute older couple maybe late 40s early 50s? Anyways, the lady was very chill, and talkative while the older gentleman looks like he’s regretting some life choices. She said she was looking for a vibrating strap on, it was her birthday and she wanted to peg her husband.

I have now worked at the little spot for 2 years, women pegging her husband isn’t new to me, so I smiled and said, “Sure thing hun, we just got this new strapless vibrating strap on something you definitely might like.” So I lead her to it, the thing was getting popular and I probably sold like 4 of those in that same month. I knew it was good, one of my customer is my lesbian friend who used it on her gf. Anyways, I showed her how it work, the part that goes into her look kinda like an anal plug, so slim on top and wider on the bottom and like a little stem that kinda look like it would lock in place. If you use anal plug you should know what I’m talking about. So long story short the woman likes it. She buys it. Great! I made another sale.

A week went by, I’m assuming it’s going to be another great day, I probably made $400 in sales already and was ready to call it day and wait for my shift to end. The lady who bought the strapless strap on was back. She throw the said toy on the counter red as a tomato in the face. “You gave me false advertisement! This shit is a scam! It wouldn’t stay inside it kept slipping out! Maybe I’m a little loose or whatever but come on! I want a refund!”

Mind you, she didn’t come back that same night nor the next day or even the next next day. She came back a week later 😑. So I’m listening to her and trying to remedy the situation so I said, “I’m so sorry that happened to you, I won’t be able to do a refund or exchange. That’s our policy and it says it on your receipt. But I do have a tightening gel that would help you feel like a virgin again.” it was one of the product I just learned about from my Manager and have been selling them left and right so I thought it should help her. Nope, I was sorely mistaken.

She looked at me like I insulted her, with a “wtf” look on her face she asked, “Are you calling me loose?” Now it’s my turn to look confused, “No, you mention that it kept slipping out, I figured this gel might do the trick for you.” I mean didn’t you mention that you were? I thought.

She was so mad. If her face gets any redder I’m sure she would have a popped a blood vessel or something. As if she finally lost her marbles, she started calling me a bitch and that she’ll have me fired. Never have she been so disrespected. Like are you kidding me? Privileged much?

I wasn’t going to just sit there and take it, this isn’t food 4 less or McDonald I don’t have to smile at you and say customer is always right. So I told her “Look bitch, don’t be coming into my store disrespecting me, I never called you loose you said it your damn self. I was just trying to help you fix the problem. I’m sorry the shit fell out maybe what you need is a damn bat! Or the whole queen Mary ship up in your pussy! Tf crawled up your ass?!”

Appalled, she gasp, “Well I’ve never— you’ll hear from your supervisor I promise you!” She tried to storm off and I told her to take her nasty strap on that’s lace with her pussy juice and good riddance! She never came again and I informed my supervisor which made him laugh. He watch the surveillance and just told me to just kinda tell them we refuse service no need to add full to the situation. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 8 yrs later I’m still working here and I now manage it.

It was a crazy situation but she definitely earn her place in my memories that I won’t soon forget. 😅😅

Hello again, today was a pretty ordinary day. Nothing super crazy. A chill day if anything. Except for one particular customer. He was very nice and little shy at first. I wanted to make him feel comfortable, so I started the conversation, “Hey hun are you looking for anything in particular today?” He just looked at me and smiled, “not really” So I just told him “if you need any help don’t be afraid to ask” so he looked around some more and finally stopped in front of the master series and bondage section. He moved around a little more but I notice he would linger around that particular area a lot more like contemplating whether he wanted something from there or not. So again I asked, “did you have a question about those products in particular? I can help answer any questions you have.” I was just trying to be helpful. So he’s turns around and told me that he never actually ever thought of trying these horror devices before but only recently he met with a dominatrix who open his eyes to a whole new world. (If you’re thinking about Aladdin, you’re sorely mistaken) He told me it was his first time, and the dominatrix promised to be gentle. But I’ve never heard of any being nice 😂 I mean isn’t their job to make you beg like a sissy? So they got into some kissing or whatever and he got tied up with some leather hog ties. A ball gag in his mouth. At first, he said. It was scary but he really enjoyed the light spanking and the nipple twisting. But then she started playing with his penis and a little rough he added. He was at her mercy, being tied up and all. So he could only watch her. He realized they never made a safe word. At this point I was being nosy and really into the story 😂😂 so I waited to listen. He said she stick a her picky in his pee hole 😱😱😱 I tell ya, I don’t even have a dick but I crossed my legs like I did and flinched. Like bro didn’t that hurt?!! He said it hurts so bad and might have bled a little. But he wants to try again this time with the actual sounder 😵‍💫😵‍💫 so he grabbed one and bought it. And thank me for being a great listener 😅😅😅 geez. Some of you guys are very tough… I’ve seen my baby brother with a catheter when he was sick, shit don’t look enjoyable 😖 but hey, to each their own 🤷🏻‍♀️😂😂

Hey! 🙋🏻‍♀️ so I work at an adult store and I always deal With weird shit, then again it comes with the territory… right? So I spoke to a few of my regulars and they say I should post these little vents and stories I have on Reddit. So, here I am 😂. Anyways this Friday, was a pretty normal day nothing unusual at least at the moment 😪 I was doing my inventory count when this young black male came into the store, I’m not gonna lie… he gave me an eerie feeling. I wasn’t sure if he’s gonna flash me or rob me 😂😂 I work for this company for so long I think I’ve seen plenty of weird shit. Anyway, so he came in and I greeted him with a smile still wary of course, he didn’t say much but he did greet me back. I asked if he needed any help and was he looking for anything in particular. He replied “no” but proceeded with “can I look” so I told him “sure go ahead let me know if you need any help” so I continued to do my inventory. He kept looking at me, it made me feel a bit uncomfortable but then again it’s not the first time I’ve been gawked at so I ignored him. He was scanning at the dvd section his eyes didn’t really leave me. He asked me questions like “are you single” “can I have your number” which I replied “no” and “I’m sorry, I don’t give out my number” again he just looks at me. Finally like a breath of fresh air another customer walked in, so I greeted him immediately. He needed help looking for items for his gf. so while he was asking question and stuff my eyes wondered back to the young black man, his eyes were fixated on me but his hands look like they were twitching. I thought maybe he was pocketing some DVDs. So I walked towards him but didn’t go to where he was standing and said “what are you doing?” He said “nothing” put the dvd he was holding back and proceeded toward the exit, one of his hand in his pocket I’m assuming, his eyes still on me. One last look and he was out the door. Weird right? So I walked to where he was standing planning to count the dvd to make sure everything was there. Instead of missing DVDs, there was a blob of SPERM on the floor and some of the DVDs!!! This fucker was jerking off using me as a source. 🤮🤢🤢🤢 and who had to clean it up? ME!! Since I was the only employee present. Needless to say that was a bizarre and disgusting day I had to endured. I could definitely say it’s definitely up there with all the weird and nasty shit I seen since working for this company. And I have been working for this said company for 10years…. Anyways just wanted to vent lol hope you enjoyed my misery.

It’s a pretty slow day today, I’m just putting some new stock away and enjoying my shift. Then this guy comes in.

I ask if he’s looking for anything specific, just doing my standard customer service script. He seems sort of off, talking quietly about anime from what I could hear. I asked him to repeat himself because I couldn’t hear him, but he didn’t.

He spots a mannequin dressed in some lingerie and makes a beeline for it. He starts rubbing on the mannequin and touching it inappropriately. I ask him to stop, because that made me really uncomfortable and my boss encourages me to tell people to stop when they’re being gross, thank goodness. After I tell him to stop, he makes eye contact with me and moves from the chest to the butt of the mannequin. I tell him to stop again, he doesn’t, just keeps groping the mannequin and staring at me. I tell him one more time to stop amd that I’ll ask him to leave if he continues, and finally he stops after muttering “it’s fine, it’s cool”. Wanders around the store for a few minutes, then leaves.

We have some plus size and some straight size mannequins. He chose a plus size mannequin, and I am plus size (not that I look anything like the mannequin lol). I don’t know if that has anything to do with things, but it made it a little extra uncomfortable for me regardless. Ugh.

So, I am planning on going back to school (hopefully in the not so distant future) to become a certified sexual health and wellness coach. I want to start my own boutique to not only sell products, but do fun parties and classes that are educational and empowering. I would also offer private coaching sessions to individuals and couples.

Will close all of our stores and online operations. Project 2025 will put us all out of work.

Had a customer come in last night in a “Fuck Harris” hoodie. As he left he yelled: Trump 2024, baby!!

Sir. Firstly, you are a black man. Secondly, we are in DC and most Washingtonians still recoil in horror from J6. Thirdly, Trump’s agenda is Project 2025 which would outlaw porn and shutter all Adult Stores. Fourthly, the entire pegging kit you just bought will be illegal if SCOTUS goes after sodomy laws like they have threatened. Sodomy is sodomy regardless of the genders of those involved, and anything other than PIV sex is considered sodomy.

We should kick out anyone in Trump gear from our stores. They want to push a no porn, anti-sodomy agenda? Fine. They can get a preview of life without our goods and services.

What are the different size booths for. Our store has small booths with little doors between them so one can play with the other occupant. But there are also big two or three person booths are these for groups or anal?

No, I don't want to go out with you. You're already unattractive for hitting on someone while they're at work, let alone at an adult store.

No, we don't have any discounts just because you didn't get your toy covered under the warranty before it broke

No, your identity is not special enough to me to sell it when I'm scanning your ID. Your data gets deleted if you didn't steal anything in 24 hours. We also never take any more info than is needed to check for fraud. Relax.

No, we don't just give out torches or lighters to people. You have to pay for a smoke just like everyone else.

No, we don't have an arcade anymore. Stop asking for tokens. It's been closed since 2020.

Yes, you need to have your ID to be in the store. You should have it on you anyways; simply forgetting it doesn't give you a free pass. Neither does saying that you'll only be a minute.

I'm losing my mind on my day shifts. The night time kept the entitled dipshits away.

I’m the manager of an adult store who went through the wringer during Covid. We are a small business. We lost a loooooong time manager who ran a tight ship. There isn’t any “employee manual” with general guidelines for employees. I’ve started creating one but I’m blanking on what things to include. Any ideas/policies I should make sure to include?

I know the arcade/viewing room only makes a little money in some stores, but I have a few customers who come in just for them.

Some are kind and mind their own business, but I find it odd that they prefer to watch movies at a booth rather than in the comfort of their own home.

I'm curious to know your thoughts on customers who solely visit the store for the purpose of using the arcades or viewing rooms. Do you find it unusual or is it a common occurrence?

I'm about to have an interview for an adult store and I'm really excited! I'm also very nervous as this is the most "extreme" job I've ever had.

Going in should I dress casually or a bit more professional? And what kind of questions can I expect? I assume they'll focus more on the retail parts and then expand into the details after hiring?

I think I'll excel at making customers feel not judged and feel comfortable. My anxiety and empathy work together to be hyper aware of other people's anxiety and I thrive on making it a safe place for all.

I think I'm mostly excited to be able to learn more about sex and kink in an invironment that normalizes it.

Any advice is welcomed and I hope everything goes well!

I’m sure I’ll learn from my coworkers, but wondering if any of you that work at sex shops have any tips to go from newbie to pro quicker? What would do differently?

How has impacted your life? Do notice things differently than you did before you worked there?

Ma'am, that product is black, the color. It's tactical black. It's not flesh-tone. It's not even remotely brown. Holy shit why are you married to such an idiot fucking racist in the first place?

I can understand wanting a flesh-tone toy to look like you, that's perfectly reasonable. But if you're already buying a toy that's not flesh-tone, how the fuck is #000000 black any different from purple, teal, or pink?

I've gotten this comment a depressing number of times in my tenure at the local dildo hut. Usually about the Fun Factory Big Boss whenever we somehow only have the Black Line version in stock. "Oh he'll pitch a fit if I come home with a big black dick."

The worst was for a Fun Factory Tiger. That toy is not even phallic. It doesn't look like a dick at all. It's not threatening your fragile masculinity for it to be black.

To start, I work in adult retail, selling "wellness products" and everything that goes with them (lube, condoms, etc etc).

Obviously, we're very NOT kid-friendly. And, being a corporate store, we're required to check the IDs of everyone who walks through the door. It doesn't matter if you're 18 or 80, we have to see an ID. There's not one, but TWO signs on our front door that says that IDs are required, one of them being in large, bold red letters.

Guy walks in last week.

"Evenin, do you mind if I see an ID right quick?"

"Why?"

Sir you're going off script.

"It is just our policy, sir."

"Well, I don't have my ID."

How did you drive here without your ID.

"You have to have an ID to shop here, it says so right on the door."

"Well, that's stupid."

Not as stupid as not being bothered to take two seconds to read a damn sign, but whatever. This happens at LEAST once or twice a day.

Customer browsing my store for a bit. Picking out plus sized outfits (honestly she wasn't that big, so don't know how much she needed the 'plus sized stuff', but I guess she'd know better than me.)

I'm helping her out best I can, but she's got me opening some of the packages and I'm doing that mental balancing scale in my mind of "do this to make a customer happy" vs "some of these might be hard to repackage if she doesn't get something." Tipped on the side of "I'm judging she WILL make the purchase" and help her out.

Go to ring up the stuff. It wasn't that expensive, but I guess more than she was expected. Her line, mine without missing a beat:

Me: That'll be *total*.

Her: Wow! Fuck me...

Me: *bagging* That'll be extra.

And I got one of the most genuine and spontaneous laughs I've ever gotten from a customer. Apparently "made [her] day."

Don't always get a win like that. Just felt like sharing.

Short little pointless anecdote.

Customer walks in.

Me: "Hey, what can I get you?"

Him: "Oh just some tokens for the booth."

*money/token exchange*

Him: "Man, I haven't been here in a while!"

Me: "..."

I have worked about 116 hours in the last two weeks due to employee drama. In a span of 18 days, I was only not here for 2 days.

I've seen you. Recently. Repeatedly. And honestly, I'm NOT usually the best at recognizing regulars unless they're really regular.

You've been here, man. I don't care. Why do you think I care. And if you think I care, why would you lie so beyond blatantly?

So our store has an online chat feature. Like clockwork he messages us weekly about penis extenders and enlargement products. We know it’s the same guy because he always says the exact same thing. I was curious if any other stores have who have an online chat also get him. I just wanna know if he specifically targets us or does he go down a list whenever he’s horny.

Someone in r/TalesFromYourServer posted a thread talking about 'jokes that always get a laugh from your table.'

I shared a comment, clarifying that I wasn't a server and managed an Adult Store, and someone suggested I post it here. Any time some couple or group comes in, and someone starts laughing or commenting on the extremely oversized dildos, I'll chime up from behind the counter:

"As the great philosopher Socrates once said: 'What's the point of buying a dildo if it's not big enough to double as a bedside weapon?'
No home invade wants to spend his first night in jail explaining that the neck brace is because some chick broke his jaw with a 12" cock. It's a really bad first impression."

Anyone who's worked a porn store for more than a month knows that in the end, it's basically just a retail job like any other. Depending on the location (or services), just with a bit more giggly (or creepy) average customer base. Anyone else got a go-to comment you'll give people that always manages a laugh?

Originally posted in r/TalesFromYourServer because I didn't know where else to post it (only been on reddit a couple months, just didn't belong in any other sub I followed) and it was suggested I post here instead. Everything after this intro paragraph is the original longwinded ranty post:

Native English speaker and on desktop. Spelling/grammar mistakes are my own damn fault and should be mocked.

Not some insane story, just some misc tale that I felt like 'telling someone' so to speak.

So I'm currently managing a sex shop. The story won't be terribly (or at all really) nsfw, but I'll tag it as such nonetheless as I won't dance around potentially necessary details. I'm 50% Italian by blood, and... I REALLY like the jokes and stereotypes about "Italians talking with their hands," because apparently I'm pretty damn good at it. Every job I've worked, not just here, if some customer came in who didn't speak any English (and no one on staff spoke their language), I was the one who could usually figure out what they were looking for via gestures alone.

But it's getting stress tested lately. The store they sent me to manage has a LARGE amount of non-english speakers. Some I can manage to help. Some completely shut down and don't bother trying to communicate the second I mention I don't speak their language. Some... I swear are just messing with me. They'll ask a product's price, I'll freaking type it into a calculator to show them the total. They'll hand me not remotely enough money. Like... you use the same numerals as me. Are you trying to tell me you speak so little English that you no longer know your own numbers?

Have a few tales of such customers... but today I have a success story.

We've had a deaf customer coming in recently. Didn't even know he was deaf at first, just thought he was ignoring me (because some people want as minimal interaction as possible when they go into a sex shop), but didn't take too long to figure it out.

First time he came in he bought some tokens for the booths, came out like a minute later, then got my attention that his phone was low on charge and could he plug his phone in. I plugged his phone in at the outlet behind the counter, and once he got some charge he started texting on it. Wasn't exactly convenient, spot he was using was at the checkout counter right by the door. But wasn't a terribly big deal, so I just turned a blind eye.

Now, I need to explain (as ungraphically as I can) what 'the booths' are. Some of these stores, like the one I'm in charge of, have 'viewing booths' in the back. Basically, private booths where you drop a token in and a porno comes on for so many minutes. There's a few rules, like 1 person per booth, and you have to buy tokens before you go back there. You can't just wander back there without buying any tokens.

The reason is... a lot of people ignore that '1 person per booth' rule, and use such places as a cheap hookup spot. We tend to turn a blind eye to it because, well, while it isn't exactly the big bucks, we still want customers to come back and spend more here. If someone's being blatant about it, annoying other customers, etc, we'll kick their ass out. If someone outright asks what you're allowed to do back there, we'll dance around the subject and under no circumstances say outright that you can get away with illicit behavior back there.

But we generally turn a blind eye to it. BUT you have to buy tokens in advance, you have to buy a minimum, you can't just stroll in and go back there. Or buy tokens that would only last like 15 minutes of 'screen time' and then slum around back there for like an hour or 2.

But the deaf customer... he came back a few times. And his behavior the first time wasn't a fluke. He'd buy his entrance batch of tokens, go back there for like a minute, then try to let his phone charge at our counter and just chill there waiting to see if someone more appealing showed up and went to the back. In which case he'd peak back there, and presumably if they weren't biting, he'd be back out in a minute again.

He would do this for hours, killing time in the store, letting his phone charge, and leaning up on one side of my checkout counter right by the entrance.

I honestly should have shut it down the first, or absolutely by the second time. But short of pulling out a piece of scrap paper and writing everything down, I didn't know how to tell him, "Look, dude, you can't just spend $5 for some tokens and then clog up my entrance for hours at a time, blatantly looking for some action." Not to mention... we only have 1 employee in the store at a time. Which means if I ever want to step out for a smoke break, or need to use the bathroom, I have to make sure there's no one on the sales floor. Can't have unsupervised customers browsing around, so if he just chills out on the main sales floor all this time, I can't grab a short break even if the store is otherwise empty.

Well he came back in again today, I gave an internal sigh and sold him his tokens. He poked his head out a minute later and asked to plug his phone in again.

And I basically bullshitted him via pantomime on the spot.

Big "X" arm sign with an apologetic look. Pointed up to the cameras in the store. Gesture-pointed my eyes, then the cameras, then my chest. Wave hands no, leaned up against the counter, then pointed to the clock, and circled around it like hours passing. And finally an apologetic bow.

"I'm so sorry. Our store cameras watch us, and we're not supposed to let people just hang out by the counter for hours at a time. Again, sorry."

And... he got the message. Like, immediately. Best part is... that was only 'sorta bullshitting him'. What I was telling him was true, it just wasn't that big a deal to whoever might randomly be checking the cameras at the time. It was more that it was annoying me this was happening for like the 5th time.

I felt so freaking proud of myself for getting that message across.

...until literally as I was typing this.

After he 'got the message', he stepped out for a bit. I felt like bragging about my amazing Italian gesturing abilities. Then... he came back in. Found another outlet along the wall, and is hanging out there now. Leaving his phone on one of the product shelves to charge any time he steps back to check the booths.

I'm seriously tempted to take the phone and huck it across the street while it's unattended. Ain't my job to look after it, other customers come in here too, any one could just swipe it, and once again he seems to be planning to just hang around on the store floor for a while putting a serious damper on any ability of mine to grab a smoke or a pee break.

urg...

Thank you for bearing with my crazed ranting, bragging, and karmic backlash venting all in near real time.

I’ve been working at adult stores for about a year and a half now and at all of them I’ve noticed that old people don’t read signs like…at all. We have a million warnings coming in “don’t say poppers”, “you will need to show ID for all card purchases”, and so on, and most older customers get upset and when I tell them it was on a sign as soon as they walked in in big red bold letters, they say “I didn’t read it”

And idk about you all, but I feel like I never choose to read a sign anywhere, like consciously I don’t make a decision to read a sign I’ve just looked in a direction and read a sign already without even thinking about it at any place I go to, does anyone else have this happen at their stores?

Hi! Just discovered this sub, but I've been working for a small chain of adult shops going on two years. I know it's bias but I feel as though my most interesting stories were from my first few months, when my shifts didn't yet feel as monotonous as restocking cereal in a grocery store. Whenever people ask about my most memorable encounters with The Public, this story is the first one that comes to mind.

We've all been asked about the biggest dildo that our stores carry. Whether that question was posed over the phone by a squeaky-voiced preteen at a slumber party (on the morning shifts, a lunch table) or in person by someone looking to make a homophobic joke to impress their assembled friends, the answer has always rounded back to one of our standard 11+ King Cocks by Pipedream or one of the special orders, like the Ice Pick by Icon Brands or the spectacular 14 inch Daddy from the Au Naturel line by Blush. Either way, someone's always got an answer.

What we didn't have the answer to was the question that was posed next, by a sixty-something man on a Friday morning in June: "Can I drill a hole up through the base of it?"

How wide a hole are we talking? How deep into the core of the toy? With what tools? For what purpose? Would the material even withstand the loss of /any/ internal structural integrity?

He explained that it didn't have to go far. Only as far as the gear shift of his son in law's fresh off the lot Jeep would require for full coverage. He reassured us that he wouldn't be using any sort of adhesive that could damage the gear shift, just wanted to give the guy a very mild heart palpitation. And he indeed bought one of our biggest, a King Cock treasure. We've been waiting for the pictures ever since.

Like personally, I get really annoyed by the large amount of “just came in here to look around” customers who always come in with friends or their spouse and they always laugh at virtually all the toys (ESPECIALLY any LGBT leaning toys), don’t buy anything, and leave after being there for half an hour

So in the adult store, there’s a door to the arcade where you put $5 in to unlock the door. Then there’s a bunch of booths with glory holes and whatnot. However, immediately on the left there’s a door that says Theater on it, and it’s another $5 to go in here. What’s in this room?

Pic related.

Seriously though, it's been two years since people first starting asking for this. When is the trend going to die? It's cutting into my Womanizer and Satisfyer sales with worthless knockoff trash that breaks at the drop of a hat, is difficult to clean, is too big to comfortably fit most people's bodies, and starts off so agressively strong it can cause bleeding.

Spoiler alert: if five different brands are selling the exact same product under different names, it's just cheap dropshipped crap you can get for $10 in bulk on AliBaba.

I'm even getting in Rose shaped ball gags and butt plugs; will it ever stop?!