I used to work at a (very white-washed) sushi counter in a grocery store. They did this thing they would call spicy crunch rolls that had spicy mayo and fried onions on it. It’s not as good as fresh raw fish sushi but it’s pretty good.

Well, I guess technically it’s in season

It might be tasty, but can we please stop mixing food with drinks please lol.

Feels like someone pulled three unrelated recipes out of a cookbook and made one thing.

Honestly thought, it was pretty good! Rice, nori, kewpie mayo and passion fruit popping boba. It was sweet, salty and creamy.

Rate my sushi burguer in Brazil, that's the "mini" one

IDK what hurts more to look at, the square rolls, the rice-to-filling ratio, or just the nigiri... everything about the nigiri.

TL;DR: Yes. I am the asshole. Help me be better.

This is part rant, part honest cry for answers, and part socially inappropriate unintended racism based on cultural stereotypes. Feel free to flame the F out of me for this. I most likely deserve it.

But first, hear me out.

I am not a racist or a cultural elitist—at least that is not my intent; but hey, I’m open to hearing your opinions on that. I am a caucasian American male in my fifties (so, yeah, that’s 3 or 4 strikes against me, depending on how you are keeping score) and I have lived in both China and Japan for several years each (add another strike if you like). I’ve studied both Mandarin and Japanese languages and history at university, speak them rather fluently, and I am very fond of both cultures. I’m down with Koreans, too, but for the sake of this discussion, I’m going to limit the discussion to Chinese and Japanese cuisine. Kind of. It gets a little hairier toward the end.

I live in New York City where there is no shortage of so-called Japanese restaurants and I love to eat sushi. But I rarely get sushi in America (ANYWHERE) that I find worthy of the experience and the expense. I know. I’m a sushi snob and I hate that. I wish I could walk into any sushi place and know that it was going to taste like sweet fresh fish without that bitter, fishy chemical smell and flavor AND that it won’t be accompanied by that F-ing ubiquitous stupid slice of lemon (a scourge on the plates of sushi bars across the U.S.)

I also know that there is a hierarchy to sushi restaurants. If you want the truly good stuff, you have to go to oh-so-trendy “omakase” joints and you have to be prepared to drop a week’s salary. I just can’t do that with any regularity, so I just don’t. Like, never. I’m not comfortable taking a stool in a sushi bar anymore. It’s just too much like playing Nasty Roulette. In a best case scenario, I find fresh fish from a fish market and make my own. I can also find sashimi-worthy (note that I did not say “grade,” because such a grading system does not really exist, even though markets use that term) fillets, roe, uni and scallops, from specialty markets like Sunrise Mart and H-Mart and make sashimi at home.

But what I really want is to find a good local Japanese restaurant (ideally in the Yorkville area, but anywhere in Manhattan will do) where I can be a regular and have a good meal for around the same price I’d pay for Italian, French, Indian or any other cuisine. Instead all I find is so-called Japanese restaurants managed by Chinese restaurateurs. And the experience is just not what I’m looking for. The level of respect for the ingredients, the care for the service, the music, the drinks, all of it just seems wrong. And I know this the minute I walk into the place and hear a garbled, incoherent “Irrasshaimase.”

I fully understand that, beginning several decades ago, Chinese-American restaurateurs across the nation began adding sushi to their Chinese restaurant menus, spawning the abomination known as Asian Fusion cuisine. And I get it. It’s simply not fair that Americans are reluctant to pay top dollar for Chinese food, even when it is prepared with the same level of care and freshness expected at a French or Japanese restaurant. So, naturally, opening a sushi restaurant is going to be more profitable. The problem is that now we have 90 percent of the sushi restaurants in NYC being run by Chinese owners (which is rich when you consider mutual disdain historically held by both sides) who don’t have the cultural background, the history, or the desire to appreciate and honor Japanese cuisine. Sure, they like to eat it, too. But the attention to making rice (hell, the sheer quality of the rice used!) and the elevation of ingredients using time and technique is just not going to be second-nature to someone from, say, Fujian Province. I liken this to when I walk into a sandwich shop and the people behind the counter come from a culture that does not eat sandwiches. There is a certain level of skill and experience needed to be a good Deli counter worker. And if you didn’t grow up eating sandwiches, no number of hours watching training videos from Subway (or even the small mom and pop deli that you just opened as your big gamble on getting a piece of the American Dream) that will prepare you to make a sandwich that I would want to eat. You see, I’m a sandwich shop, too. As for my dear friends from Fujian, and I have many, I want to say that while I do love your land, your history, your mountains and your tea, your food, I’m afraid, sucks. If I wanted to subsist on amphibians, bugs and sand worms, I would have applied myself more in my study of Biology and foraging. (Chef’s kiss!)

I’m stuck with affordable sushi that is barely above supermarket level and big name celebrity chef restaurant groups run by white executive chefs who hire former Chinese chefs from overpriced Tribeca based stalwarts. I would rather find a 25 year old who’d trained at a shop in Tokyo from the age of 17 before risking it all to move to New York and open a modest shop that served good food and didn’t rape my wallet.

So, let me wrap this up and let make it easier for you all at the same time. I am just going to just come right out and declare myself “The Asshole.” And in exchange for my generosity, I ask you to please help me find a decent sushi place in Manhattan where the vibe is chill, the sake is delicious, the fish is fresh, and the call of “Irrashaimase!” is only used if its clearly annunciated and its meaning is understood and intended.

Your thoughts are welcome.

It’s a California roll.

Grabbed some pulled pork, made a slaw with sriracha mayo, topped with pickles and bbq sauce. Tasted better than my photography skills. My second time attempting a roll. Feel free to hate!